前情提要
翻譯：小肚腩 別扭大菜
當我看到的時候 我簡直就 When I read the thing, I was like,
"老天爺啊 他們在拍我們的劇" "Oh, my God. They're making our show."
翻譯：謀賢良 NANA
不 其實我和貝貝在做的劇 No, actually, the show Bev and I are doing
和你跟我亂想出來的東西非常不一樣 is vastly different from that thing you and I kicked around.
校對：NANA小霸王
這句話可不真 Well, that's not true.
時間軸：濃子
他奶奶個腿的 Fucking hell.
后期：魚骨頭 總監：NANA小霸王
我懷念這感覺 I miss this.
是呀 感覺不錯 Yeah, this is nice.
我是說喝酒 I meant drinking.
靠 Oh, fuck.
所以你的菜是... So your type is...
我覺得是聰明 I'd say smart...
美麗 beautiful...
輕微受損 slightly damaged.
你認識這類型的人嗎 You know anyone like that?
我的天 My...
戲里戲外 第四季 第四集
我們完蛋了 Oh, we are so screwed.
我不這么認為 I disagree.
親愛的 我們真完蛋了 Darling, we are so screwed
再有權勢的人也救不了我們了 that large men with tools could not unscrew us.
我們的臺本和這筆記上的完全不一樣 Our script is totally different from what's in those notes.
"完全" "Totally"?
好吧 也就碰巧兩個家庭 All right, it's got two families
由同一批演員演 played by the same group of actors.
你是指整個劇本的前提設定 You mean the premise.
行吧 設定相同 但這都是我的創意 Fine, the premise, but it was my idea.
他屁都沒幫上 He offered nothing.
蒂姆也就是把它記到紙上 All Tim did was type it.
這就值不少錢呢 Well, clearly that's where the money is.
話說 難道不覺得有點奇怪嗎 And by the way, don't you think it's a little odd
你以前從來沒跟我提過這事 that this is the first you're telling me any of this?
因為這根本就不是個事 Because there was no "this" to tell.
也就只是個想法 It was just an idea.
現在不就有事了嗎 Well, there's a "this" now.
我只是不爽他怎么突然腆著臉 It just pisses me off that he has the nerve
非說這劇本是我和他一起想出來的 to suddenly claim we came up with it together.
無所謂是誰想出來的 Doesn't matter who came up with it.
你和他是搭檔 You were his partner.
你這是跟他站在一邊 Are you really taking his side?
相信我 這事對我來說 Oh, believe me, the irony of this...
不知道有多諷刺 但是很抱歉 I am choking on it, but I'm sorry.
他有權這么做 He is within his rights.
等等 Wait.
你這意思難道是說 You mean to tell me that if...
如果愛因斯坦創立了相對論 if Albert Einstein came up with the theory of relativity...
你還真敢拿你自己跟他比 Really? That's who you're comparing yourself to?
就這么個意思 To make a point.
行吧 Fine.
如果愛因斯坦創立了相對論 If Einstein came up with the theory of relativity...
而他一無是處的搭檔 衰因斯坦 And his useless partner, Shmeinstein,
啥都沒做 只是把理論記在了白板上 did nothing but write it on the board,
難道他應該共享榮譽嗎 he should share equal credit?
如果他倆是搭檔 那就沒錯 If he's his partner, yes.
然后還可以正當命名為 And then it would rightfully be called
愛因斯坦-衰因斯坦相對論 Einstein and Shmeinstein's theory of relativity
讓全世界的學生們都能樂開花 to the absolute delight of schoolchildren everywhere.
早 Morning.
靠 Oh, fuck.
我們喝了多少龍舌蘭酒 How much tequila did we have?
不多不少 I'd say just enough.
四年的心理咨詢全白費了 There goes four years of therapy out the window.
別這樣 我們昨晚很開心啊 Come on, we had fun.
我很開心 I had fun.
有什么不好嗎 What's bad?
今天想干什么 So want to do something today?
一起 Together?
不好嗎 Why not?
孩子在你媽那 Your mom's got the kids.
我沒事 你也沒事 I got nothing. You got nothing.
我得和我姐姐吃午飯 I'm supposed to have lunch with my sister.
看來你比沒事要多點事 Okay, so you got worse than nothing.
去沙灘吧 Come out to the beach.
你好久沒來過別墅了 You haven't been to the house in a while.
我愛死那房子了 Oh, I fucking love that house.
那就不該跟我離婚 Shouldn't have divorced me.
那房子也沒好到這種程度 It's not that great a house.
咋樣 來馬里布嗎 So yeah? Malibu?
行啊 來就來 Sure, why not?
咋了 What?
你好的時候可真好 You're nice when you're nice.
早上好呀 要咖啡嗎 Good morning. Coffee?
不用了 謝謝 No, I'm fine. Thank you.
-我正要喝呢 -那好吧 - I'm having some. - Okay.
這廚房可真豪華 What a pretty kitchen.
你好呀 Hello.
-像兩座小島 -是啊 - Wow, two islands. - Yeah.
我喜歡想象它們原來是一座大島 I like to think that originally they were one big island,
隨著時間推移它們漂移分開了 but then over time they drifted apart.
-奶和糖 -不用了 - Milk and sugar? - No, I'm fine.
-你不是喜歡... -是啊 - Don't you take it with... - I do, yes.
好啦 呼吸 Okay, breathe.
再來 Again.
感覺好多了嗎 You feel better?
好了一點點 A little bit.
昨晚很棒 Last night was nice.
昨晚非常美妙 Oh, last nice was amazing.
是啊 I know.
我得說 And I got to say,
對從來沒體驗過這事的人來說 for someone who has never done it before...
剛開始是有一點奇怪 It was a little weird at first.
沒有"把柄"可以握住 I mean, there's nothing to hold on to.
是啊 這需要適應 毫無疑問 Oh, no, it's an adjustment, no question,
但你很快就熟門熟路了 but, I mean, you picked it right up.
我擅長取悅他人 I'm a people pleaser.
可不是嘛 I will say.
我忍著不去笑了 I'm trying not to giggle.
沒事 你可以笑 Okay, you can giggle.
不用 我沒事 No, I'm okay.
再來一次 Do it again.
看好了 Watch.
靠 Shit.
不去看下嗎 Do you got to get that?
不用 只是事件提醒 No, it's just a reminder.
什么事 About?
小事 和貝佛利一起爬山 Just a thing... A hike with Beverly.
肖恩夫婦的那個貝佛利嗎 Oh, of "Sean and Beverly"?
是的 我去回絕吧 Yeah. I'll cancel.
不不不 去爬山吧 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Go. Hike.
我不想爬山 我想和你待在一起 I don't want to hike. I want to stay with you...
除非你想讓我去 Unless you want me to go.
不不不 我想讓你留下陪我 Oh, no, no, no. I-I want you to stay,
除非你自己想去 you know, unless you want to go.
不想 No.
除非你想一起去 Unless you want to come?
我很想去 I would love to come.
除非你覺得貝佛利不想... Unless you think Beverly wouldn't want...
不不不 她可喜歡你了 No, no, she really likes you,
她很少會喜歡別人的 and she doesn't like anybody.
她都不怎么喜歡我 She barely likes me.
那好吧 Okay, great.
我得先回家換衣服 I just need to run home and change.
你可以穿我的衣服 Oh, I got stuff you can wear.
是嗎 可以嗎 Really? You sure?
當然了 你想穿哪件都行 Of course. You can borrow anything.
好的 Okay.
女同這事還挺不錯 I like this lesbian thing.
看我找到誰了 Look who I found.
天啊 海倫 你好 Oh, my God. Helen, hello.
真是個驚喜 This is a nice surprise.
希望你別介意 我不想打擾 I hope it's okay. I don't want to...
當然不會介意了 Of course it's okay.
這回她就不能抱怨工作了 Now she can't complain about work.
新的風格啊 我喜歡 Ooh, this is new. I like it.
我也喜歡 Yeah, me too.
這個苗頭很好啊 So this is a good sign,
第一個休息日 你們就約在一起了 the two of you together on your first day off.
看來第一周過得很不錯啊 I gather week one went well.
你覺得是很不錯嗎 Would you say it went well?
我覺得是超級無敵好 Oh, I'd say it went very well.
我聲明 Oh, I do declare.
這里有點熱烘烘嘍 It is getting mighty toasty up here.
-怎么 -她討厭我這么說話 - What? - She hates my voices.
是挺討厭的嘛 What's not to hate?
我覺得挺可愛的 I think they're fun.
-是嗎 -你才沒有 - You do? - You don't.
是的 I do.
為什么 拜什小姐 您過獎了 Why, Miss Basch, you flatter me.
失陪 有懸崖還等著我去跳 Excuse me while I hurl myself off this cliff.
太棒了 Great.
-怎么了 -我水喝沒了 - What? - I'm out.
喝我的 Oh, take mine.
不用 No.
-你客氣瘋了 -你確定嗎 - That's crazy. - Are you sure?
當然了 Totally.
-喝完吧 -不用 - Finish it. - No!
-沒事的 -真的嗎 - It's fine. - Really?
真的 Really.
你倆也可以喝我的 You're both welcome to mine.
-沒事 -不用 謝謝 - We're good. - No, that's okay.
謝謝 Thank you.
早 Morning.
某人心情不錯啊 Ah, somebody's in a good mood.
我在想 I was just thinking,
操你老婆是有多爽啊 "How great is it to fuck your wife?"
等等 你說什么 I'm sorry, what?
怎么了 What?
不 不 不是 Oh, no, no, no.
不是你老婆 Not your wife.
你是指任何人 One's wife.
我理解你為什么...但不是 不不 I see why you'd... but no, no, no, no.
我操了我自己的老婆 No, no, I just fucked my wife.
好吧 前妻 Well, ex-wife.
感謝你的澄清 Thank you for clarifying.
那感覺特別輕松 It's just so easy.
我知道她喜歡怎樣 I know what she likes.
她知道我喜歡的 She knows what I like.
我知道她不會做什么 I know what she won't do.
她也...我還真沒什么不能做的 She... Well, there's really nothing I won't do.
你和戴安哈 So you and Diane?
真神奇 Amazing.
我知道 都一個禮拜了 I know. Almost a week now.
那個男朋友呢 And the boyfriend?
雖然說他的存在對你來說完全不是問題 Not that that would ever be an impediment to you.
玩完 滾犢子了 Done. Gone.
拜拜 奧利 Bye-bye, Ollie.
好吧 不敢相信我會說到那方面 All right, I can't believe I'm actually gonna go here,
但曾經 but at one point,
你跟我說過她的問題在... you talked about an issue with her...
下面 Nether.
逼太松 Oh, the loose-pussy thing?
我已經后悔提這個事了 And already I'm sorry I went there.
是 離婚以后她把那給解決了 Yeah, she had that taken care of after the divorce.
做了個什么手術 把那里給 She had that surgery where they get in there
收緊了 and tighten everything up.
天老爺啊 Dear God.
花了我一大筆錢 Yeah, cost me a bundle.
不過現在看來 錢花的值 Although looking back, money well spent.
咱分個百吉餅 Split a bagel?
總之 Hey, anyway.
我知道你可能以為我瘋了 Look, I know you're gonna say I'm nuts,
但我現在在考慮 but I'm kind of thinking
這是不是可以變成永久的事 I could see us making it permanent again.
-這才處了一周 -為什么不 - After a week? - Why not?
不會跟你當前的經濟狀況 This wouldn't by any chance have a little something
有那么一丁點兒關系吧 to do with your current financial situation?
節省下來的錢是非常可觀 Well, the savings would be considerable.
我就知道 There we go!
說真的 如果我不支付贍養費和子女撫養費 Seriously, if I could stop paying alimony and child support?
天啊 我就不用賣葡萄園了 Jesus. I wouldn't have to sell my vineyard.
你求婚的時候一定把這句話寫進去 You should definitely work that in when you propose.
我們從來沒有停止過對彼此的愛 Look, we never really stopped loving each other.
還能一直陪著我的兒子們 And being back with my boys full time?
你想啊 Come on.
而且給我管錢的說我能省至少三百萬 Plus my money guys think I could get at least $3 million
如果一起住 for the house.
我讀了那個蒂姆拿過來的筆記 So I read through those notes from that Tim guy,
又給法務看了 and I ran them past legal.
然后呢 And?
你們有法律問題了 You have a legal problem.
-謝謝 -真的嗎 - Thank you. - Seriously?
他的要求是有理由的 He's got a valid claim.
合法的嗎 Legally?
合法的 法務說的 Legally, according to legal.
他媽的 現在怎么辦 Bloody hell. So what now?
我們跑路吧 I say let's go pack.
先別慌 Okay, nobody panic.
讓我跟他談 Let me talk to him.
如果有必要 我們就給他點東西嘛 If we have to, we'll give him a little something,
但別擔心 我會把他處理掉的 but don't worry. I'll make this go away.
-祝好運 保持聯系 -天 希望如此 - Good luck. Let us know. - God, I hope so.
于是乎噩夢繼續 And so the nightmare continues.
-法務說的 -太好了 - According to legal. - Perfect.
好了 Oh, good.
諷刺巴士來了 The irony bus is here.
這傻逼城市 Stupid town.
我他媽討厭小丑 I fucking hate clowns.
你是她朋友 你就問吧 You're her friend. Just ask her.
我做不到 太尷尬了 I can't. It's too weird.
她肚子一天比一天大了 She's getting bigger every day.
我知道 我猜要么最后她生出個孩子 I know. I figure eventually she'll either have a baby
要么那六個智利礦工終于挖通出路了 or six Chilean miners will dig their way out.
真不敢相信 It's unbelievable.
不敢相信什么 What's unbelievable?
老天啊 感覺她出來的時機都很精確 Jesus, it's like she lives in a clock.
我... I... um...
我剛跟安迪說 I was just telling Andy
我剛知道我表姐 凱倫懷孕了 I found out my cousin Karen is pregnant.
她還是未婚 She's not married.
好像也沒有男友 I don't think she even has a boyfriend,
但大家都不介意 因為我們都愛她 but nobody cares because we all love her,
都在為她感到高興 and we're just happy for her.
知道我說什么呢吧 Know what I'm saying?
我表姐弗蘭妮有禿頭癥 My cousin Franny has alopecia.
英國男演員
不戴假發的話 她看起來就像本·金斯利 Without her wig, she looks like Ben Kingsley.
所以我們是在講表姐故事 So we're telling cousin stories.
你看過默克給的名單了嗎 Hey, have you seen this list from Merc?
什么名單 What list?
荷蘭娛樂節目的主持候選人 Possible hosts for his Dutch game show.
怎么樣 How is it?
很明顯是他自己寫的名單 Well, it's clear that he did it himself.
太老 太老 Too old. Too old.
老掉牙了 這個過世了吧 Way too old. Dead?
《魔繭》上映那會兒就死了 Since, like, Cocoon.
我們需要個新名單 I think we need a new list.
話說 你有空的時候 Oh, and when you get a sec,
預算的數目已經送到我的辦公室了 I've got those budget numbers in my office.
我現在就有空處理 I can do that now.
太好了 Great.
待會兒見 See you guys later.
-回見 -拜拜 - Bye. - Bye-bye.
什么 What?
不可能 No.
真的嗎 Really?
你得走了 You got to go.
我不走 No, I don't.
走吧 Yeah, you do.
趁孩子都還沒醒 趕緊走 I want you out of here before the boys get up.
為什么 Why?
我不希望讓他們誤解 I don't want to confuse 'em.
或者 Or...
干脆就跟他們挑明 we could make it less confusing.
我不曉得你想說啥 I have no idea what that means.
如果我們以后一直都能這樣 What if we did this in, like, a more permanent way.
你還醉著呢 Are you still drunk?
先別拒絕 Before you say no,
你覺得再結一次婚怎么樣 what do you think of getting married again?
回去吧 Go home.
這事真的不現實嗎 Is that so crazy?
是的 非常不現實 Yeah, that's crazy.
為什么 Why?
這感覺多棒 This feels right.
你自己心里也清楚 You know it does.
還有誰能比我們更合拍 Where are you gonna find this again, huh?
難道那什么奧利能 With stupid Ollie?
至少跟我在一起你知道你會得到什么 At least with me you know what you're getting.
那可不 I'll say.
那又是為什么 你有新歡了 So then what? Someone new?
又去跟另一個人從頭開始 You want to start from scratch?
那要多麻煩 Ugh, so much work.
你每天還得裝好人 You have to be nice all the time.
剛開始裝裝就夠了 Only at the beginning.
你剛放屁了 Did you just fart?
沒有 No.
-還狡辯 -閉嘴 - Liar. - Shut up.
你還能在誰面前放屁呢 See, who else can you fart in front of?
我去跟那個人結婚 Yeah, marry that person.
拜托 Oh, come on.
想想孩子們 Think about the boys.
我們的復合對他們來說會有多棒 How great would it be for them if we got back together?
這跟上一次能有什么區別呢 And it'd be different now why?
因為這一次我就知道我將會失去什么 'Cause now I'd know what I'd be losing.
你瘋了 You're insane.
也許是的 Maybe.
你考慮考慮 Just think about it.
回家去 Go home.
你不得不承認 You got to admit,
這比我上次的求婚可好多了 this is way better than my last proposal.
-這一次你沒高潮 -沒錯 - In that you weren't coming? - Exactly.
這么說來你真的跟她提了 So you actually broached it with her?
沒錯 I believe I did,
如果我沒理解錯"提"的意思 if "Broached" Means what I think it does.
然后呢 And?
她沒有拒絕 She didn't say no.
你不會覺得她會那么簡單的同意吧 Well, you didn't think she would just say yes.
她幾分鐘前還跟人家訂著婚 She was engaged to someone else, like, two minutes ago.
要我就肯定不會拒絕我 I'd say yes to me.
那當然 你那么自戀 Of course, but you're in love with you.
至少不會把我自己踢下床 Well, I wouldn't kick me out of bed.
你確定你真的準備好了嗎 And you're really ready to do this?
-為什么不 -這可是個承諾 - Why not? - Um, it's a commitment?
我知道 我以前也承諾過 I know. I've made commitments before.
正是 Exactly
這次不一樣 This is different.
-是嗎 -沒錯 - Is it? - Yeah.
你準備好了這一次要忠貞不渝 You're prepared to be faithful this time?
當然 Totally.
忠貞不渝 Faithful.
我知道 Yes!
不能再碰其他的女人 No other women ever again
一輩子都不能 for the rest of your life?
好吧 咱們先別沖動 Okay, let's not get crazy.
門是開的 It's open.
你的包裹 This just came for you.
寫著"易腐壞" It says "Perishable."
很好 謝謝 擱那兒吧 Great. Thanks. Leave it here.
黛安最喜歡的 Diane's favorite thing in the world
就是巴爾的摩的蒸蟹 is these steamed crabs from Baltimore,
所以我空運了一大堆來給她個驚喜 so I had a ton of 'em flown in to surprise her.
你節省開支的計劃進行得不錯啊 I see the belt-tightening is going well.
我得告訴你 I have to tell you,
我連跟你們公司的 I couldn't even get a meeting
初級經紀人的見面機會都爭取不到 with a junior agent from your agency,
結果我現在居然在 and now here I am being taken to lunch
跟著名的艾琳·杰菲一起吃飯 by the famous Eileen Jaffee.
簡直像做夢一樣 It's like a dream.
可不是嗎 I know.
我覺得我有可能想多了 So I may be way off base,
你不想聊的話我馬上可以打住 and tell me it's none of my business...
那天我們去慢跑的時候 The other day on our hike...
怎么了 Yeah?
我 I, um...
我感覺到 I thought I sensed...
有點 ...A certain...
我也不知道 可能是我想多了 I don't know, maybe I'm crazy...
你跟海倫有點什么 between you and Helen.
-不會吧 -沒錯 - Really? - Yep.
但是你也不是... But you're not...
什么時候開始的 Since when?
今天幾號 What's today?
我的老天哪 Oh, my God.
不會是因為你睡老板的習慣吧 Please tell me this isn't just because you work for her.
不 不是那樣的 No! No, no.
這次完全不一樣 This is totally different.
我也想這么說 I would say so.
她太不可思議了 She is amazing.
滿足了我對一段感情的所有期望 It's everything I always wanted in a relationship.
所有 Everything?
當然啦 沒有雞巴 Well, sure, no dick.
但是那些雞巴 But, hello, those dicks...
都帶著一個雞巴男人 They come with dicks.
你的那些的確是 Well, yours all certainly did.
但是和她在一起 我們一起玩 But with her, we hang out.
一起笑 一起能做有趣的事情 We have fun. We... we do stuff.
我去過她家了 I've been to her house.
不會吧 No.
她覺得我這個人很有趣 She thinks I'm funny.
-真的 -別那么驚訝 - Really? - Less surprised.
真的啊 Really?
那 那個 And, uh, the...
那什么呢 part?
這么說吧 Let's just say...
妹子對陰道了解的一清二楚 The lady knows her way around the vagina.
你以為我會吃不下飯 You'd think I'd stop eating.
那 And, um...
你的部分呢 from a reciprocal standpoint?
我顯然是沒有這么近距離見過 Oh, well, obviously I've never seen one that close before.
顯然了 Obviously.
我本來以為會很奇怪 I thought it'd be a little weird,
但是你湊過去之后就感覺 這我熟 but once you get down there, it's, like, "Oh, I know you."
可不 Sure.
最棒的部分在于 當我們 The best part is when we're...
她很投入的 明白嗎 She's really there, you know?
跟男的在一起 很多時候 With those guys, a lot of the time
我感覺就好像是別人穿在腳上的一只襪子 I felt like a sock with someone else's foot in it.
這回真吃不下了 Okay, I'm done.
但是跟海倫 感覺我們是真在一起 But with Helen it's like we're together.
感覺非常對 It just feels right.
很輕松 It's easy.
很美好 It's nice.
我的天 My God.
是吧 I know.
感覺很怪 但是 It's weird, but...
我覺得我可能會很開心 I think I might be happy.
看起來倒是這么回事 It certainly seems like it.
所以可能主要在于找到一個對的老板 So maybe it was just about finding the right boss.
可能吧 Maybe.
卡羅和海倫 Carol and Helen?
這我是真沒想到 I did not see that coming.
我估計卡羅自己都沒想到 I don't think Carol did either.
所以海倫是個 So Helen's a...
看樣子是 Apparently so.
但卡羅并不完全算 But Carol's not officially...
我覺得俗世對她還不夠了解 I don't think she's earned all her badges.
溫迪 Wendy?
溫迪 Wendy!
估計她還搞不清楚那是她名字 Maybe she hasn't learned that's her name yet.
-你好 -你好 - Hello? - Hi.
-你們好啊 -你好 - Hi, guys. - Oh, hello.
我剛跟蒂姆愉快地共進了午餐 So I just had a lovely lunch with Tim.
-然后呢 -我覺得很有意義 - And? - I'm glad I did,
因為他原來并不想要錢 because it turns out he doesn't want money.
-真的嗎 -那是挺讓人驚訝的 - Really? - That's a surprise.
他只想參與進來 He just wants to be involved.
什么意思 Meaning?
他想跟你們一起拍這個戲 He wants to run the show with you.
-什么 -瘋了吧 - What? - That's insane.
如果他要來拍這個戲 那他不就該得錢嗎 By the way, if he's running the show, wouldn't he get money?
是 不過他不只想要錢 Yes, but he doesn't just want money.
我應該這么說才對 I should have said it that way.
我希望你拒絕了 Well, I hope you said no.
我說我會跟你們談 I said I'd talk to you.
我記得你說要把這事處理掉 I thought you were gonna make this go away.
-我也記得 -我天 - So did I. - Christ.
他現在把我們吃得死死的 Look, he's got us over a barrel.
我明白你的意思 No, I hear you.
如果代價是一場惡心的官司 Well, if the alternative's a hideous lawsuit,
那我們就受著好了 maybe we just suck it up.
我以為這一部戲的重點 I thought the whole idea of this show
就在于不會再有氣受了 is that there wouldn't be any more sucking,
不是說我們不會再受氣了嗎 that we were done with sucking?
可能還會再受點氣 There may be a little more suck.
莫塔拉 Hey, Mirtala.
戴安在嗎 Is Diane around?
她好像在樓上 I think she's upstairs.
好的 Great.
干脆 Actually...
有人嗎 Hello!
有人嗎 Hello?
有人嗎 Hello.
這他媽算啥 What the fuck?
我的天 趕緊出去 Oh, my God! Get out of here!
-這誰啊 -我是奧利 - Who's this? - I'm Ollie.
你是奧利 You're Ollie?
我是奧利 I'm Ollie!
他他媽的在這兒干啥 What the fuck is he doing here?
你他媽的又在這兒干啥 What the fuck are you doing here?
我帶著螃蟹[又意陰虱] I've got crabs.
你有陰虱 You've got crabs?
不是 螃蟹 No, crabs.
螃蟹 Crabs.
你不能隨便進來 You can't just show up here.
不會再來了 Yeah, that's not gonna be a problem.
-那是什么 -螃蟹 - What's that? - Crabs.
我給你帶了最愛吃的螃蟹 I got you your fucking crabs.
巴爾的摩的 From Baltimore?
對 巴爾的摩買來的 可是我告訴你 Yeah, from Baltimore, but you know what?
你配不上這螃蟹 You don't deserve crabs.
我不知道該說什么 I don't know what to say.
他 過來把東西拿走 我們就聊上了 He... he came over to get his stuff, we started talking.
有人該教他 嘴在忙的時候 Well, someone should tell him not to talk
就不該聊天 with his mouth full.
你說過你跟他完了 You said you were done with him.
我是跟他完了 I was done with him.
我跟你不也完了 有些事又說不準 I was done with you too. Things happen.
你對這種事最了解了 You of all people should know that.
可別把矛頭指向我 Don't make this about me.
好吧 好吧 不過我得聲明 All right, all right, but for what it's worth,
我跟他是真完了 I am done with him.
我也得聲明 我跟你也完了 Well, for what it's worth, I'm done too.
我很抱歉 這事是很蠢 I'm sorry. It was stupid.
根本不代表什么 It meant nothing.
我不這么覺得 Not to us.
如果能給你帶來一絲絲安慰的話 If it's any consolation,
這挺好吃的 these are delicious.
不能 安慰不了 Nope. No consolation.
既然這樣 我是真不愛吃這玩意 Well, in that case, I am really not a fan.
我簡直不能相信 I still can't believe it.
太讓人震驚了 It's so shocking.
我一直在想象你們四個人在浴室 I keep picturing the four of you in that shower.
-你把螃蟹也算進去了 -是的 - You're counting the crab? - I was.
她怎么能這么對我 How could she do this to me?
我懂的 I know.
我明白你現在的感受 Look, I know how you're feeling right now.
你不明白 No, you don't.
我能想象 Well, I can imagine.
你不能 No, you can't.
無論如何吧 Nevertheless,
你確定這就完全結束了 are you sure it's definitely over?
你開什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
她說了那是個錯誤 是個偶然事件 She said it was a mistake and just a one-time thing.
我還該接受這個事實 And I'm supposed to be okay with that?
不該 但是其他人都想辦法 No, but other people have managed
忘掉了這種事 to get past things like this.
我他媽可不知道怎么忘 I don't fucking know how.
我想說一下你對她做過多少次這種事 Is it worth pointing out the irony of the number of times
我覺得這事還挺諷刺的 you've done something like this to her?
不 我覺得你不應該說出來 No. It is not worth pointing out the irony.
事實上我想說 In fact, I will go so far as to say it is never
對任何人 生活中 的諷刺 worth pointing out the irony...
別人都不應該說出來 in life... to anyone... ever.
懂了 Noted.
操他奶奶 God damn it.
這事本來可以很美好 It could have been so good...
我們兩重新在一起 The two of us back together,
每天都能見到兩個兒子 seeing my boys every day.
而現在呢 And now...
我得把葡萄園給賣了 I'm gonna have to sell my vineyard!