前情提要
看 那是你女朋友 Oh, look. There's your girlfriend.
她才不是我的 She's not my...
翻译&校对&总监：向大家九十度鞠躬道歉的NANA
差点撞到我 Almost got me there.
差点 Almost.
时间轴：浓子
她以为 She's got this idea...
后期：鱼骨头
你可能是 you might be...
-什么 -爱上我了 - What? - In love with me.
爱上你了 In love with you?
你也不用这样吧 Well, you don't have to say it like that.
保证你会离卡罗远点 Promise me you will stay away from Carol.
她是我的朋友 She's my friend.
我求你了 你可千万 I'm begging you. The last thing you need
别去搅合两个女同的感情 is to get between two lesbians.
也可能是一个半 谁知道卡罗到底算啥 Or 1 1/2 lesbians, or whatever Carol is right now.
我他妈才不做游戏节目主持人 I'm not gonna be a fucking game show host.
这事可以给你挣一大笔钱 This could be serious money for you,
你现在正需要这么一大笔钱 and right now, you need serious money.
我不必喜欢你 你也不必喜欢我 I don't have to like you. You don't have to like me.
不担心这事 Not to worry.
我们都是专业人士 We are professional.
两个老不要脸的 Like two old whores.
人挡杀人佛挡杀佛 Who won't we fuck?
我对这事还挺激动的 I'm excited about this.
我知道 I know you are.
戏里戏外
第四季第九集
对了 好好享受此刻 By the way, enjoy this,
因为这是我最后一次在这儿跟你见面了 because it's the last time I am meeting you here.
我觉得还挺有意思的 I think it's fun.
有意思可不是这个味儿的 Fun doesn't usually smell like this.
那你来选地方 So you pick a place.
你自己也知道 这太扯了 Well, you have to agree, it's insane.
我们什么时候 At what point
才能不用活在对你女朋友的恐惧中 can we stop living in fear of your girlfriend?
打扰一下 Uh, excuse me?
能让我们单独呆一会吗 Would you give us a moment, please?
我们有点事 We're kind of using this space.
行 Okay.
好了 All right.
我把 I am just...
我 我把 把话 I am... I am just... put... put...
-好了 -行 - Okay. - All right.
我把话说这儿了 I am just putting this out there.
明天早上 我一个人去爬山 Tomorrow morning, I am going on a hike by myself, alone,
七点半 老地方 7:30, our usual spot.
你想干吗随你 Do with that what you will.
好的 懂了 Okay, got ya.
我这么说吧 Let me say this.
你还没做女同的时候 生活可简单多了 Life was simpler before you became a lesbian.
女同 A lesbian?
我才不是女同 I'm not a lesbian.
真的 那你说这是什么 Really? What would you call it?
我也不知道 I don't know.
我就觉得不喜欢往身上贴标签 I feel uncomfortable with labels.
什么叫贴标签啊 Well, label or not, if you open a can
你找了个女的谈对象 那你不就是女同吗 and there's beans in it, it's a can of beans.
你刚去哪了 Where were you?
出去呼吸了一下新鲜空气 Uh, just stepped out for some fresh air.
怎么了 What?
当参赛者进入箱子以后 Once the contestants are in the boxes,
我们就开始问问题 we begin the questionings.
好 Okay.
你问他们问题 You ask them questions.
如果他们答对了 就能得分 If they get them right, they get points.
对了 试播集肯定是来不及了 By the way, it's obviously too late for the pilot,
但是如果这个节目能续订 but if this thing goes,
你是不是考虑一下去去健身房什么的 maybe think about a few trips to the gym.
我他妈有去健身房 I fucking go to the gym.
那就少待在果汁区 Yeah, well, maybe less with the juice bar
多练练器械 and more with the machines.
我就这么一说 Just saying.
你说真的 Seriously?
就你 也好意思说这个话 This is coming from you? Just saying.
我又不用上电视 Hey, I'm not the one in front of the camera.
要那么好看干什么 I don't have to be pretty.
任务完成 Mission accomplished.
男士们 Gentlemen?
-好 -抱歉 继续 - Yeah. - Sorry. Go on.
选手可以把胜点用在两个方面 The contestants can use their advantages in two ways.
第一 他们可以为自己添置必需品 A, they can acquire necessities for themselves.
比如毯子 椅子 吃的 Like a blanket, a chair, food.
或者第二种 可以用他们的胜点 Or B, they can use their advantages
去惩罚其他选手 to punish the other contestants.
他们可以把其他箱子变冷 变热 They can make the other boxes colder, hotter,
或者加进虫子 or fill them with bugs.
真的 虫子 Really? Bugs?
对对 他们都会选虫子 Oh, yeah, yeah. They always go for the bugs.
然后你说 放虫子 And then you say, "Release the bugs,"
然后观众就开始喊 放虫子 and the audience goes, "Release the bugs!"
没有人愿意待在箱子里 And then you do not want to be in that fucking box.
天啊 他们能出来吗 Jesus. Can they get out?
虫子还是说人 The bugs or the people?
不管是谁 Either.
不能 No.
别回头看 不过有个男的 Okay, don't look, but there is a guy
已经盯着你看了十分钟了 who has been staring at you for the last ten minutes.
我 Me?
他站起来了 Oh, he's getting up.
他在往这边走 如果我没认错的话 He's coming over here, and if it's who I think it is...
卡罗 Carol?
没认错 It is.
你这个反应很正常 That's totally fair.
真抱歉打扰了 I'm so sorry to interrupt.
我必须得过来打个招呼 I just... I had to say hello.
我的天哪 你好 Oh, my God. Hi.
海伦·拜什 卡斯特·索托 Helen Basch, Castor Sotto.
终于见到本人了 Oh, it's nice to finally meet you.
我也是 You too.
我的办公室现在如何了 How's my old office?
你现在应该还能从地毯里捡到药片吧 I'll bet you're still picking pills out of the rug.
就像丽莎·明尼里的化妆间似的 It's like Liza Minnelli's dressing room.
美国老歌星 健康状况堪忧
我还想向你道歉 I also wanted to apologize for...
我都不知道从哪开始说 I don't even know where to start.
我给这位女性整的有多惨 What I put this poor woman through.
她肯定都告诉你了 I'm sure she's told you.
说了一些精华 Maybe a few colorful highlights.
我当时太可怕了 Oh, I was a nightmare.
但你一直都那么好 But you were amazing through all of it.
你现在好像状况好多了 You seem like you're doing much better now.
好多了 我重新开始吃药 Much. I'm back on my meds.
甚至还有些新药 I even started some new meds.
试试无妨 Couldn't hurt.
说的没错 No argument there.
我很高兴你现在状况这么好 Well, I'm... I'm happy you're doing well.
确实非常好 我本来不该说 Actually, really well. I'm not supposed to say,
但我刚知道我将要接手CW电视台 but I just found out I'm gonna be running the CW.
不是吧 No!
那那个谁 Wh-What happened to...
他马上要去ABC台了 这些现在都还保密 No, he's going over to ABC. It's all very hush-hush still.
下周就要宣布 They're gonna be making the announcement next week.
恭喜啊 Congratulations.
谢谢 我知道有点疯狂 Thanks. I know, it's crazy.
不过这种疯狂比我以往那种是好多了 But better that kind of crazy than my usual.
你们接着聊吧 Anyway, I'll let you get back to it.
我为之前的一切再次道歉 Again, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for everything.
-没关系的 -有关系 - It's fine. - Mm, it's not.
是有关系 不过谢谢你有所表示 No, but thank you for saying something.
保重 很高兴认识你 Take care. Nice meeting you.
我也是 You too.
五秒规则 Five second rule.
三 四 五 我去 Three, four, five. Holy shit.
你肯定没想到这一出吧 Bet you didn't see that coming.
怎么还有人让他再管一个电视台啊 They're letting him run a network again?
当时把他请出我们台的时候 They rolled him out of ours
是给他包起来 strapped to a thing
像汉尼拔那样一路滚出去的 like Hannibal Lecter.
他本人看起来要帅多了 By the way, he's much hotter in person.
是啊 帅呆了 Oh, yeah, he's dreamy.
对男的来说而已 For a guy. Please.
拜托 不感兴趣 Thank you, no.
说真的 Seriously.
我们该买单了 We should get a check.
你好 Hello?
是我 方便说话吗 Hey, it's me. Can you talk?
方便 Uh, sure.
我有个问题想问你 I have a question for you.
在海伦面前我问不出来 I couldn't ask in front of Helen,
而且这个话可能有点过分 and I may be way out of line here,
但是 but...
-我想给你一份工作 -我现在有对象 - I'd like to offer you a job. - I'm actually seeing someone.
-你说什么 -什么 - I'm sorry, what? - What?
我没听见你说什么 I didn't hear what you said.
你要给我一份工作 You're offering me a job?
是的 我希望你再来做我的二把手 Yes. I'd love for you to be my number two again.
他们说我想带谁都可以 They said I can bring in anyone I want.
我会给你现在薪水的两倍 I'll pay you twice what you're getting now.
我需要你 I need you here.
非常荣幸 I'm really flattered...
但是我对现在的情况很满意 but I'm very happy where I am.
我很喜欢在海伦手下工作 I love working for Helen.
我不能 真的两倍吗 I could never... Literally twice?
我想让你开心 I want you to be happy.
不不 不行的 No, no, I can't. I...
我懂得你的恐惧 Look, I get that you have trepidations.
你哪能不怕啊 How could you not?
但我觉得我们能成为一支非常好的队伍 But I still think we could make a hell of a team.
我保证会做你当初认识的那个我 I promise I can be the person you thought I was.
尽管如此 Even so, I...
至少考虑一下吧 At least think about it.
如果你拒绝 我也完全理解 If it's a no, I totally understand.
不过在你明确拒绝之前 But until it is,
我都会抱着希望 I'm hoping it's a yes.
明天晚上要录节目了 有没有很激动 So, excited about tomorrow night?
明天晚上要录节目了 有没有很郁闷 So, depressed and morose about tomorrow night?
这就对了 There you go.
这个游戏是怎么回事 What exactly is this game?
就是七个蠢货 It's just seven idiots trying to stay
争取在箱子里待上十七周 inside these boxes for 17 weeks.
他们就一直在箱子里 And they're in the boxes the whole time?
-对 -我的妈呀 - Yup. - Dear God.
怎么会有人要参加这个 Why would someone do that?
为了钱 为了上电视 Money, to be on TV.
我知道 很扯的 I know, it's crazy.
不过 Although...
怎么 What?
你为了挣钱还有上电视 Well, you're willing to be a game show host
都愿意去做一个游戏节目主持人 for money and to be on TV.
还是有点不一样的 It's a little bit different.
有吗 Is it?
我可是会挣一大笔钱 Well, for one thing, I'm making a shitload of money.
我觉得他们不管挣多少 Well, I'm sure for them,
对于他们来说也是一大笔钱 whatever they're getting is a shitload of money.
那 我也没有关在一个箱子里 Yeah, well, I'm not stuck in a box.
怎么的 What?
不是个真的箱子 Not a literal box,
可你也是被迫去做这件事 but you're trapped doing this thing
你本来不愿意在所有人面前这样做 you don't want to do in front of everybody,
而且也无路可逃 with no way out.
你这是在干什么 What are you doing?
没啥 我就是觉得有点讽刺 Nothing. I just think it's ironic.
你知道啥叫讽刺吗 You know what else is ironic?
什么 What?
这可不叫讽刺 Um, that's not actually what irony is.
看你 大着胆子就来了 Look at you, all gutsy.
我都不敢确定你会出现 I wasn't sure you were gonna turn up.
我知道 I know.
感觉就像那几年 It's like all those years
跟有夫之妇悄悄鬼混 sneaking around with married guys.
简直让我又找到了当年的活力 It kind of makes me feel alive again.
还有 海伦在纽约参加分公司会议 Also, Helen's in New York at an affiliates' meeting.
所以你并没有那么勇敢 So not that gutsy.
那又咋的 Oh, so what?
我发过誓以后再也不会给你提建议了 Look, I swore I would never give you advice again.
鬼才信 Nobody believed that.
不信就好 Well, good,
如果你接受了卡斯特那份工作 because if you take this job with Castor,
你就跟他一样疯了 you're as crazy as he is.
首先 薪水会翻倍 First of all, it's twice the money.
不是啊 首先 那是卡斯特 No, first of all, it's Castor!
他看着挺好的 He seems fine.
再说 可能我和海伦别这么天天在一起 Plus, it might be good for me and Helen
反倒好一点 not to be together all the time.
也对 这个计划确实不错 Oh, no. It's... it's a brilliant plan.
是吧 Yeah.
你要去为你的前男友工作 You going to work for your male ex-lover?
某个严重妄想症患者肯定无所谓的 That won't feed her already spectacular paranoia.
是这样的嘛 我觉得 I'm just saying, I think...
宝贝们 Hi, girls.
你们见到我这么高兴啊 What a warm welcome.
妈呀 Oh, God.
你怎么在这儿 What are you doing here?
我觉得问题应该是 你怎么在这儿 I think the question is what are you doing here?
我们怎么会在这儿 What are we both doing here?
不是像你想的那样 Look, this is not what you think.
从来就不是像你想的那样 It has never been what you think.
只不过刚巧剪了这个发型 This is just a bloody haircut.
又不是说脑袋上绑了个假鸡鸡 It's not like I'm wearing a strap-on on my head.
小阴毛 我发誓什么事也没有 Pubey, I swear, there is nothing going on.
只不过是两个朋友一起爬山而已 It's just two friends on a hike.
瞎扯 Bullshit!
两个朋友才不会偷偷摸摸地爬山 Two friends do not sneak off on a hike.
"小阴毛"也算了吧 And you can drop the "Pubey."
我也觉得 Probably for the best.
你说今天早上 You said you were gonna be
要去参加一个早餐会的啊 at a breakfast meeting this morning.
你还说你要去纽约呢 Well, you said you were in New York.
结果呢 And look what happened.
算了 没关系 You know what? It doesn't matter.
我不玩了 送给你了 I'm done. You can have her.
我又不想要 I don't want her.
我也不想要 Well, I don't want her either.
拜托 Oh, come on!
我只希望你把你的东西从我家搬走 What I want is all your shit out of my house.
-我们能聊聊吗 -今天之内 - Can we please talk... - Today.
你的廉价润肤露 傻逼睡眠眼罩 Your cheap moisturizer, your stupid sleep goggles,
尤其是他妈的猴皮筋 and especially that fucking scrunchie!
真的 Really?
行 Okay.
以及我想收回我的脚环 And I would like my ankle bracelet back.
你说真的 Seriously?
我 行 I... Okay.
那件上衣也是我的吧 And I believe that's my top.
行 我到时候拿到办公室给你 Fine. I'll bring it to the office.
-现在给我 -现在 - Now. - Now?
现在 Now.
不要 No.
-现在 -行 - Now! - Okay.
我 我 I... I...
拿去 Here you go.
我的内衣 My bra.
你不是吧 Oh, come on.
你也想惹我吗 Do you want to start with me?
-把内衣给她 -我 我 - Give her the bra. - Wha... I...
内衣 Bra.
归你了 She's all yours.
-真是抱歉 -没事的 - I'm so sorry. - I'm fine.
车还远着呢 The car is so far away.
锁上箱子 Securing the boxes.
调高10% Up 10%.
锁上箱子 Securing the boxes.
我们的大明星 There's our star.
马甲怎么回事 What's with the vest?
你什么意思 What do you mean?
马甲 The vest.
我可没批准过 I never approved that.
我也没批准过你批准的东西 I didn't approve of what you approved.
说真的 马甲脱了 Seriously, lose the vest.
我喜欢这件马甲 I like the vest.
我跟你说 你穿马甲不好看 I'm telling you, the vest is not your friend.
这叫品位 It's classy.
-穿上显胖 -阿玛尼 料子厚 - It's thickening. - It's Armani.
那就让阿玛尼穿去 Well, then, let him fucking wear it.
我得说 从你额头上的反光看了下 I got to say, I'm looking at my reflection on your forehead,
我挺好看的 and I think I look good.
请你相信我 Trust me on this.
我可是真心为了你着想 I've got your best interests at heart.
行 Okay.
谢谢你 Appreciate it.
死贱人 Cocksucker.
这是谁来了啊 Oh, look who's here.
来的是《唐顿庄园》 It's Downton Abbey.
为什么 为什么 为什么 Why, why, why, why, why?
过来 Come here.
我听说你们的新戏了 I heard about the new show.
想想就很不错 跟我讲讲 Very exciting. Tell me.
这部戏我们是在英国写的 well, it's a project we actually developed in England,
所有人是都很喜欢 但是好像也没什么进展 and everyone loved it, but nothing seemed to be happening,
然后 出乎我们的意料 and then, remarkably...
听着不错 我先离开一下 Sounds great. Excuse me a sec.
拜什女士 Mrs. Basch.
拉皮多斯先生 Oh, Mr. Lapidus.
进展如何 So, how's it going?
非常棒 Fantastic.
你和马特相处愉快吗 You and Matt having fun?
他简直太棒了 Oh, he's terrific.
真的 你开心吗 Really? You're happy?
开心根本就不足以形容我的心情 Happy isn't even the word.
这就是我想听的了 Oh, that's what I wanted to hear.
我的天呐 My God.
你看见她刚刚甩给你的眼神了吗 Did you see that look she just gave you?
什么眼神 What look?
真的吗 Seriously?
没在你脸上留个疤都是个奇迹 I'm surprised it didn't leave a mark.
还是关于你和卡罗的幻觉吗 This is still that insanity about you and Carol.
好吧 我有些事要告诉你 Okay, there's something I need to tell you.
什么事 What?
对了 我待会必须得提醒你 And FYI, I will be forced to remind you
你以前曾经无数次没听我的话 of all the times you didn't listen to me.
我去 Oh, shit.
我今早跟卡罗去爬山 I was on a hike with Carol this morning.
我擦 我跟你说了别 Bloody hell, I told you not...
此处我就得提醒你以前每一次 This would be the moment where I remind you of all of the...
行行行 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
我们从山路上拐过弯 然后 We came around a bend in the trail, and...
不会吧 No.
她不如再戴上冰球面罩 She may as well have been wearing a hockey mask
手提砍刀 and carrying a machete.
我们的戏还让不让拍了 Do we still have a show?
可能让你拍吧 Maybe you do?
我的老天 Jesus Christ.
-嗨孩子们 -来得真好 - Hi, kids. - Oh, perfect.
你接下来这一天怎么样 How was the rest of your day?
-挺好的 -他知道了 - Great. - He knows.
简直是他妈个噩梦 Oh. It was a fucking nightmare.
她讨厌我 She hates me.
擦 她看见我们跟你在一起了 Shit, she just saw us with you.
快走 快走 Get away. Get away.
走 Go.
你和海伦之间怎么了 So, what is going on with you and Helen?
怎么了 What?
怎么了 简直就是漫天冰雪没有奇缘 "What"? It's like Frozen without the songs.
别告诉我结束了 Don't tell me it's over.
什么结束了 What's over?
天哪 Oh, Christ.
你别生气 你先站这儿别动 Okay, no offense, but you stay here.
如何 So?
我猜对了 I was right.
女士们最近处得不太好 It's a dark night in girl town.
天 Jesus.
是的 Yep.
准备好 接下来局面难看了 Get ready for a big, fat mess.
说到难看 麦拉去哪了 Speaking of which, where's Myra?
有段时间没看她了 I haven't seen her.
这就对了 继续用力 That's it. Keep pushing.
马特 Hey, Matt!
你们来了 Hey, you made it.
你打扮得很帅气啊 Don't you look sharp?
是嘛 你觉得这件马甲如何 Yeah? You like the vest?
-酷毙了 -相当不错 - Very spiffy. - It's terrific.
那个混蛋不让我穿 Yeah, well, that asshole won't let me wear it.
什么让不让的 What do you mean, let you?
这也是你的节目 It's your show, too.
你这是干什么 What are you doing?
本来就是 Well, it is.
你今天简直就是个搅屎棍 You're just stirring shit all over the place today.
我们两分钟后开始 大家 两分钟 We're starting in two, everyone. Starting in two.
马特 请你到后台 Matt, I need you backstage.
好的 Perfect.
开始了 Here we go.
-高兴点 -别丢人 - Have fun. - Don't suck.
好吧 All right!
观众看起来非常热情 You look like a terrific audience!
希望你们看得高兴 Have a good show, huh?
大声点 大声点 你们觉得呢 More, more, you guys! What do you say?
真抱歉 兰斯小姐 I'm sorry, Miss Rance.
你不能站在这 You can't stand here.
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
好了吗 Better?
没 Uh, no.
你站在哪儿都不行 You can't stand anywhere.
拜什女士想请你离开摄影棚 Mrs. Basch would like you off the stage.
好的 没关系 No problem. That's fine.
好吧 Okay.
是我 Hi, it's me.
对 Yeah, uh...
如果还可以的话 If it's still available,
我接受那份工作 I'll take the job.
好了好了 大家各就各位 Okay, okay, okay. Is everybody ready?
开始吧 Here we go, people.
倒计时五 四 三 In five, four, three...
一号机 Go camera one.
七个人 Seven people.
十七周 17 weeks.
只有一个人能击败 Only one will beat
疯狂食人箱 The Box!
二号机 Camera two.
马特 四号机 站在标记上 Matt, go four. On its mark.
我不想干了 真的 I'm trying to quit. I really am.
一号机 Roll one.
-欢迎来到疯狂食人箱 -一号机 - Welcome to The Box. - Camera one, go.
你好啊[老友记经典台词] How you doing?
还好我们把这事解决了 Ah, glad we got that out of the way.
-一号机待机 -好 - Camera one, standby. - Yup.
转到一号机 Going to camera one.
艾瑞克 Hey, Eric.
里边是不是有点冷 Little chilly in there?
-有一点 -是吧 - A little bit. - I bet.
现在呢 你有十七个胜点 So, okay, you've got 17 advantages,
比目前其他任何人都多 more than anyone else so far.
你可以用来给自己买点东西 You can use them to buy something for yourself
像迈克和凯莉那样 like Mike and Kelly did.
我们来看看目前还剩些什么 Let's see what's left on the board.
我觉得你现在既不需要雨伞 Somehow I'm thinking you don't need a umbrella
好处
也不需要推理小说 or a mystery novel.
可是一件外套呢 But a coat, ooh.
现在来件温暖舒适的羽绒服怎么样 How's a nice, comfy, down coat sound right now?
听起来非常不错 It sounds really good.
或者 你也可以用你的胜点 Or you can use your advantages
去整蛊其他的参赛选手 to disadvantage one of your fellow contestants.
比如报复一下克莱尔 我就说说 Maybe get back at Claire? Just saying.
你可以让其他人的箱子温度上升十度 You can make someone's box ten degrees hotter.
整蛊
另外还有羽毛 We've still got feathers,
臭奶酪 stinky cheese,
吉尔伯特·高特弗里德 Gilbert Gottfried.
六十岁的单口相声男演员
十七个胜点 And with 17 advantages,
刚好足够放虫子 just enough to release the bugs.
你会选哪个呢 What's it gonna be?
放虫子 放虫子 Release the bugs! Release the bugs!
选虫子 选虫子 Go for the bugs. Go for the bugs.
确定一下吉尔伯特准备好了 Someone make sure Gilbert's ready. You got it.
马特 Matt,
我选择拿所有胜点 I would like to spend all of my advantages
来往克莱尔箱里放虫子 to release the bugs on Claire.
好的 Okay.
皮特 礼服不错 Hey, Pete, love the tux.
克莱尔 Hi, Claire.
你把人家裤子脱了 这就是后果 This is what happens when you take a guy's pants.
艾瑞克选了虫子 So Eric went for the bugs.
你喜欢虫子吗 You like bugs?
非常不喜欢 I really don't.
我倒也是想知道 I can't wait to meet the person
谁会喜欢虫子 who says, "Yeah" to that question.
你有一个选择 So, you have a choice.
你可以跟一帮恶心的爬虫 You can become roommates
成为室友 with a bunch of creepy-crawly guys,
或者你可以让我打开你的箱子 终止游戏 or you can ask me to open your box and forfeit the game.
你愿意选择哪个 What's it gonna be?
选虫子 选虫子 Go for the bugs. Go for the fucking bugs.
五秒 Five seconds.
我不能 我不能 我做不到 I-I can't. I can't. I can't do it.
我真的很讨厌虫子 I really hate bugs.
请打开我的箱子 Please open my box.
你确定吗 你知道这意味着什么 Are you sure? You know what this means.
我 我确定 No, I... I'm sure.
打开我的箱子 Open my box.
好的 Okay.
打开箱子 Opening the box.
我总觉得其他六个人 Something tells me the other six
不会这么轻易放弃 不过也许我错了 aren't gonna give up so easily, but maybe I'm wrong.
我们待会再来揭晓答案 We'll find out right after this.
卡 五分钟后继续 And we've cut. We're back in five, everyone.
我们得把那句台词改了吧 We're gonna change that line, right?
她不能要求我打开箱子 She can't really ask me to open her box.
我们能不能每晚都请这些观众来啊 Can we keep this audience every night?
马特·勒布朗帅不帅 Yeah! How amazing is Matt Leblanc?
我应该跟你说过把那马甲脱了吧 So, I thought I told you to lose the fucking vest.
我喜欢 I like it.
等这儿完事了 Yeah, well, when this is done,
我们得设立某些基本规则 we got to set some fucking ground rules.
必须的 Definitely,
也不知咋的 你以为我是在给你打工 'cause somehow, you got the idea that I work for you.
那你又怎么以为的 Yeah, and what idea do you have?
你看看四周 Look around.
节目是你的 还是我的 Are you the show, or am I the show?
如果他们把你换了 谁他妈在意 If they got rid of you, who gives a shit?
杀了你一个还有千千万 There's 100 of you.
大不了再来一箱又矮又肥的制片人 They'll just open up another box of short, fat producers.
我们俩得好好谈谈 All right, you and I need to have a little talk.
好啊 Fine.
你觉得你是无可替代的 You don't think you're replaceable?
醒醒吧 Wake up.
这可不是十年前了 This isn't ten years ago.
你已经是过去式了 You're a guy who used to be.
这叫重新来过 You're a rerun.
你他妈现在在主持一个游戏节目 You're hosting a fucking game show.
往上看 再往上点 你知道那是啥吗 Look up, way up there. You know what that is?
那就是你的天花板 That's the top of the barrel.
听着 你这个臭傻逼 Listen, you big bag of assholes,
你没资格告诉我该干什么 you don't tell me what to do.
-是吗 -是的 - Really? - Really.
你对这个节目一点用处也没有 You bring nothing to this.
操你妈 Fuck you.
够了 我告诉你 All right, you know what?
这节目要想运转 If we're gonna do this piece of crap,
我不想再看到你的脸 I don't want to see your face.
-是吗 -是的 - Oh, really? - Really.
-是吗 -是的 - Really? - Really.
-是吗 -你不能跟我说话 - Really? - You don't talk to me.
你也不能看我一眼 省省吧 You don't look at me. You can take your hugs
你的拥抱 你恶心的笑声 and your annoying laugh
还有你丁点儿大的鸡鸡 and your teeny-tiny dick...
杰米跟我讲了 Oh, yeah, Jamie told me.
你以为只有一个蛋总能显得鸡鸡大点吧 You'd think having only one ball would make it look bigger,
事实证明 并不能 but apparently, not so much.
-操你妈 -操你妈 - Fuck you. - No, fuck you!
对了 事实上我已经操过你一回了 You know what? Actually, I already fucked you.
就你NBC那部试播吧 You know your NBC pilot?
你猜是谁给艾略特·沙拉告的密 Who do you think told Elliot Salad about it?
-什么 -对 - What? - Yeah.
你以为他们为什么又继续拍《冰球小子》 Why do you think they picked up Pucks!?
没错 就是我的小鸡鸡插在你的屁眼里 Oh, yeah, that's my tiny dick in your ass, my friend.
你个死贱人 You son of a bitch.
我怎么觉得这一幕似曾相似 Somehow I feel like we've seen this show before.
你觉得如何 You like that?
马特 马特 马特 Matt! Matt! Matt!
-操 蛋蛋 -谁叫你有俩呢 - Damn it, the balls! - You've got two!
把你的脏手给我拿开 Get your stupid hands off of me!
马特 Matt!
锁上箱子 Securing the box.
不不不 No, no, no!
放虫子 Release the bugs!
放虫子 放虫子 Release the bugs! Release the bugs!
别 No!
放虫子 放虫子 Release the bugs! Release the bugs!
释放虫子 Releasing the bugs.
别 No!
可能不是像你想的那样 You know, it might not be what you're thinking.
那肯定了 Oh, absolutely.
他们叫我们过来是要给我们一匹小马 I'm sure they called us in to give us each a pony.
她怎么可能当面砍掉这个戏 Why would she kill the show in person?
这种事打个电话就解决了 It's something they do over the phone.
也可能人家就想当面看看你的表情 Not if she wants to see the look on your face.
也许卡罗知道 Maybe Carol knows something.
这是她的办公室没错吧 This is her office, isn't it?
我觉得也是 I think so?
她走了 She's gone.
早上好 CW电视台 Good morning, The CW.
你好 我是卡罗·兰斯 今天过来报到 Hi, I'm Carol Rance. I'm starting today.
你能不能告诉卡斯特·索托我已经到了 Can you please let Castor Sotto know I'm here?
我找到一位艾斯特·迪·维托 I have an Esther De Vito.
不是 No, no.
卡斯特·索托 Castor Sotto.
还没正式公布 It's not official yet,
但他是电视台新来的一把手 but he's the new head of the network.
稍等 Hang on.
这里有位女士 There's a woman here.
-卡罗·兰斯 -卡罗·兰斯 - Carol Rance. - Carol Rance.
她想找卡特 She's looking for Carter...
-卡斯特 -卡斯特·索托 - Castor. - Castor Sotto.
她说他是电视台新来的一把手 She says he's the new head of the network.
好的 Mm-kay.
我也是这么想的 Yeah, that's what I thought.
这边没有叫卡斯特·索托的 Yeah, there's no Castor Sotto here.
没有人知道他是谁 也不知道你在说什么 No one knows who he is or what you're talking about.
疯了吧 Well, that's insane.
我不是个非常大度的人 I am not a very forgiving woman,
我也不喜欢被人当傻子耍 and I don't appreciate being made a fool of.
我很抱歉 我想说的是 I'm sorry, may I just say,
其实我老婆压根就没有和 there's never been anything between my wife...
亲 别说了 Oh, honey, please.
如果走路像只鸭子 If it walks like a duck
叫声也像只鸭子 and it quacks like a duck,
那操我前女友的时候也就会像一只鸭子 it's fucking my ex-girlfriend like a duck.
可是呢 But you know what?
最重要的是 我是职业人士 First and foremost, I am a professional,
你们的戏对我们电视台来说很重要 and your show is important to this network,
所以我不会让我的个人情绪 so I'm not going to let my personal issues
影响了这个项目 get in the way of that.
我们表示非常非常感谢 For which we are very, very appreciative.
非常 Very.
话是这么说 That said,
不过还有一个小地方我想变动一下 there's one small change that I'd like to make.
真抱歉我迟到了 I'm so sorry I'm late.
太让人激动了 对吧 It's exciting, isn't it?
我刚正跟他们讲呢 Oh, I was just about to tell them.
我觉得最好还是由蒂姆来负责这部戏 I think it's best if Tim runs the show.
不是吧 Oh, no.