前情提要
我他妈才不做游戏节目主持人 I'm not gonna be a fucking game show host.
这事可以给你挣一大笔钱 This could be serious money for you,
而现在 and right now,
你正需要这么一大笔钱 you need serious money.
我不必喜欢你 你也不必喜欢我 I don't have to like you. You don't have to like me.
-不担心 -我挺激动的 - Not to worry. - I'm excited about this.
我知道 Yeah, I know you are.
我读到的时候就觉得 When I read the thing, I was like,
天哪 他们在做我们那部戏 "Oh, my God, they're making our show."
不是 其实我和贝贝做的这部戏 No, actually, the show Bev and I are doing
和你我当时写的那一部差很多 is vastly different from that thing you and I kicked around.
并没有 Well, that's not true.
我不会让私事影响了工作 I'm not going to let my personal issues get in the way.
为此我们非常非常感激 For which we are very, very appreciative.
话虽如此 我还是想做一个小小的改变 That said, there's one small change that I'd like to make.
很抱歉我迟到了 这太让人激动了 I'm so sorry I'm late. This is exciting, isn't it?
我觉得让蒂姆来负责这部戏比较好 I think it's best if Tim runs the show.
《戏里戏外》第五季第一集
《箱子》前情提要 Previously on The Box,
寇久用一百只仓鼠来攻击杰西卡 it was payback time for Jessica
杰西卡决心要报复 when Kojo disadvantaged her with 100 hamsters.
那么多仓鼠 That's too many hamsters.
所有人都认为她会反击 Everyone assumed she would retaliate,
但杰西卡在下一盘大棋 but Jessica had a bigger plan.
她和乔纳森组成了联盟 She and Jonathan formed an alliance
把积分合到一起 and pooled their points.
给科尔西的箱子里 They gave Kelsey
加了48小时吉尔伯特·高特弗里德 48 hours of Gilbert Gottfried in her box.
惩罚项目
吉尔伯特·高特弗里德 Gilbert Gottfried.
喜剧演员
亚比米勒说 "And Abimelech said,
你们看见什么了 'What did thou see?'"
与此同时 扎克降低了雷夫的屋顶 Meanwhile, Zach lowered Rafe's ceiling,
所以雷夫将扎克的箱子填满干草作为报复 so Rafe paid Zach back by filling his box with hay.
这成为了压死骆驼的最后一根稻草 It turned out to be the last straw,
在第36天 and on day 36,
扎克h被除名了 Zach was eliminated from the game.
现在只剩六名选手 With only six players left,
丹妮卡一路连胜 Danika went on a winning streak.
-太好了 -连续回答四个关键问题 - Yes! - Answering four primo questions in a row...
获得了46分的领先 amassing a total of 46 advantages.
-回答正确 -太好了 - That is correct. - Yes, whoo!
她会用这些点数去报复乔纳森吗 Will she use them - to exact revenge on Jonathan?
还是会用来给自己买件奢侈品 Or will she spend them on a major luxury item for herself?
今晚我们在《箱子》中一探究竟 Find out tonight as we open up The Box.
17周的时间 17 weeks...
7个人
只有一个人能打败 only one will beat
箱子 The Box.
待机 准备请马特上场 Okay, standby to cue Matt.
请马特上场 Cue Matt.
欢迎来到《箱子》第37天的节目 Welcome to day 37 of The Box.
我们直接开始 Let's get right to it
看看箱友们都在准备些什么 and see what our box-mates are up to.
我有种感觉 I have a feeling that
科尔西可能已经被逼到绝路了 Kelsey might just be at the end of her rope.
神向摩西说道 "And the Lord spoke to Moses saying,
让以色列人 'Let the children of Israel
离开你的土地 go out of your land.'"
打扰一下 Sorry to interrupt.
科尔西 我得问问 Kelsey, gotta ask,
这是目前为止最糟糕的惩罚吗 is this the worst disadvantage so far?
是的 毫无疑问 Oh, yeah. No question.
神会惩戒你的 God will smite you for that.
吉尔伯特 你感觉如何 So, Gilbert, how's it going for you?
这里完全是 Oh, it's a festival of joy
欢乐的海洋 and light in here.
你还挺享受的 Having a good time, are you?
那肯定了 跟年轻版的凯西·贝茨 How could I not, being stuck in a box
美国实力派演员
一起关在一个箱子里 with young Kathy Bates?
好的 我们回头再聊 All right, we'll check back in with you soon.
摩西说 "And Moses said..."
-丹妮卡 -嗨马特 - Danika. - Hi, Matt.
46分胜点 So, 46 advantages.
目前为止节目里最大的领先 More than anyone in the game so far.
-恭喜我了 -每个人都非常想知道 - Yay me. - Everyone's dying to know.
你会用这些点数来对乔纳森 Are you gonna use 'em to do something
做一些更糟糕的事吗 even worse to Jonathan?
虽然我不知道还能糟糕到哪去 Although I don't know what that could possibly be.
还是说你会给自己买些好东西 Or are you gonna buy something incredible for yourself?
-我想... -等等 先别回答 - I think-Wait, wait, don't answer yet.
待会会揭晓答案 We'll find out when we come back.
广告之后马上回来 Right after this.
四号机 Camera four.
切出 And we're out.
-你简直无敌了 -念台词而已 - You are killing it. - Just saying the words.
-超级有趣 -今晚的节目真棒 - It's so fun. - Such a good show tonight.
你觉得她会拿她的点数做什么 What do you think she's gonna do with her advantages?
我他妈不在乎 I don't fucking care.
看这是谁来了 Ah, and look who's here.
一周来了两次 Hey, twice in one week.
开什么玩笑 我根本不舍得走开 Are you kidding? I can't stay away.
这是我现在最喜欢的节目了 It's my new favorite show.
收视率不错吧 Liking those numbers, huh?
岂止不错 Liking 'em?
我睡我老婆的时候都在想它 They're what I think about when I'm screwing my wife.
观众太热情了 Whoa, what a great crowd!
我要给你们看个东西 I'm gonna show you all a little something
明天会铺满各大报刊亭 that's gonna be hitting the newsstands tomorrow.
猜猜这周的《人物》杂志封面是谁 Guess who's on the cover of this week's People magazine?
马特·勒箱子 Matt Le Box!
过来 Come on over here.
干得漂亮 Very impressive.
你和琼贝内排在一起 You're right up there with JonBent
还有一个减肥80磅的女的 and some girl who lost 80 pounds.
美国著名悬案受害小女孩
行了 吃屎去吧 All right, go fuck yourself.
《人物》杂志封面 Cover of People.
不错 Not bad.
还有 你会进入他们 Also, by the way, you are going to be
全世界最美人物的名单 on their World's Most Beautiful List.
十年没上过那个榜单了 Oh, haven't been on that in ten years.
你现在又美起来了 这位朋友 Well, you're beautiful again, my friend.
更重要的是 你有什么好消息要告诉我吗 More important, what do you got for me?
你收到一份非常慷慨的报价 Well, you received a very generous offer
请你参加《名人换妻》 from Celebrity Wife Swap.
我才不参加《换妻》 I'm not doing Wife Swap.
《名人换妻》 Celebrity Wife Swap.
我连婚都没结 I'm not even fucking married.
报价挺不错的 It's a good offer.
-马特 -我想演戏 - Hey, Matt! - Ugh, I'm talking about acting.
每个人都爱你 这点你知道 Look, everybody loves you. You know that.
但现在他们就是这么看你的 But this is how they see you now.
把我当一个游戏节目主持人 As a fucking game show host?
这活我才干了五分钟 I've been doing this for five minutes.
-我演戏都演了... -我知道 - I've been an actor for -- - I know, I know.
电视台那边呢 艾略特·沙拉刚还告诉我 Well, what about the network? Elliot Salad just told me
他跟老婆上床的时候都想着我 I'm what he thinks about when he's inside his wife.
这肯定是件好事吧 That's gotta be good for 13 on air.
他们就想看到你呆在这个箱子里 Look, this is the box that they like you in.
那要是我不喜欢这个箱子呢 Well, what if I don't like this box?
别啊 这箱子挺不错的 Ah, come on. It's a nice box.
满箱子钱呢 It's a box full of money.
马特 20秒 Matt, 20 seconds.
你就不能当做是重新定位自我吗 Can't you just look at it as reinventing yourself?
定位成一个更垃圾的我 As a shittier version of me?
10秒回来 大家 We're back in ten, people.
切音乐 Cue music.
-丹妮卡 46分胜点 -没错 - So, Danika, 46 advantages. - Yep.
如果你真的想报复乔纳森 If you really wanna get back at Jonathan,
你可以选择 you've got...
蜂蜜加羽毛 Honey and feathers.
超级恶臭 Hideous stench.
还有 200只活青蛙 And finally, 200 live frogs
随时准备下落 ready to drop.
它们之所以在圣经中作为瘟疫 是有理由的 There's a reason they were a plague in the Bible.
我相信吉尔伯特 I'm sure Gilbert
可以跟我们分享一二 could tell us something about that.
别打扰我 Don't interrupt me.
正到了有趣的时候 It's gettin' to the fun part.
罗得的老婆来现在情况不太妙 It's not looking good for Lot's wife.
圣经人物
或者你也可以给自己买个奢侈品 Or you could buy a luxury item for yourself.
46个胜点 可以买到 With 46 advantages, you could get...
床垫和枕头 ooh, mattress and pillows...
一顿牛排晚餐 全套的 A steak dinner with all the fixings.
一个礼拜的电视 TV for a week
或者一次温暖干净的淋浴 or a warm, soapy shower.
那么丹妮卡 So, Danika.
会是什么呢 What's it gonna be?
淋浴 Shower!
我需要洗个澡 I need an answer.
马特 我得选 Matt, I've gotta pick...
淋浴 the shower.
好的 46个胜点 All right, 46 advantages,
给丹妮卡一个温暖干净的淋浴 give Danika a warm, soapy shower.
好 切淋浴 All right, go ahead and cue the shower.
我他妈爱死这个节目了 I love this fucking show.
你好 Hello.
蒂姆 是我 贝佛利 Tim, it's Beverly.
我今天可能来不了了 I'm afraid I can't come in today.
肖恩死了 Sean is dead.
什么 我的天 What? Oh, my God.
是啊 没办法 I know. But what can you do?
老公死了肯定不能来上班了 You can't come to work when your husband's dead.
真的不可能有更好的理由了 There really is no excuse better than that.
肖恩死了 Sean is dead?
-死的透透的 -什么 - As a doornail. - What?
我也不知道什么时候能回来 So, who knows when I'll be back.
各种守寡事宜要办 I've got all kinds of widow-y things to do,
还要应对丧夫的创伤 and then there's the trauma.
不管怎么想 In all likelihood,
你和我都不太可能 you and I will never, ever
再见面了 see each other again.
再见了蒂姆 Good-bye, Tim.
祝节目顺利 Good luck with the show.
早安 Morning.
-怎么了 -没事 - What? - No, nothing.
19页有别的想法吗 Any other thoughts on page 19?
19页 19页 19页 没有吗 19? 19? 19? No?
20页 Page 20.
我真的觉得得把有关船的剧情整个砍掉 I really think we need to cut this whole bit with the boat.
什么 不不 不能这样 What? No! No, you can't do that.
不行的 需要船的剧情 No, you can't--you need the boat bit.
对 我知道你们的初稿里就有这个 Yes, I realize it was in your original draft,
但是亲爱的 有时候得放手 but, darling, sometimes you have to let the words go.
是吗 Do we?
如果把船的剧情砍掉 Look, if--if you cut the bit with the boat,
就全是说明部分了 it's all exposition.
船的剧情是这场戏里唯一好笑的部分 The boat bit's the only funny part of the scene.
我们不能仅仅因为好笑而保留某些东西 Hope we're not keeping things in just because they're funny.
这是喜剧 In... the comedy.
你俩太老派了 Oh, you two are so old-school.
喜剧现在不需要好笑了 Comedies don't have to be funny anymore.
有些大红的喜剧根本一点都不好笑 Some of the biggest comedies aren't even remotely funny.
观众才不需要你们那些小笑话 Audiences don't need your little jokes
那些笑声和幽默感 and your laughs and your humor anymore.
你只需要在30分钟以后结束 You just have to end after 30 minutes.
就行了 你就是一部喜剧了 That's it, bang, you're a comedy.
船的剧情不能砍 We are not cutting the boat bit.
那场戏需要一点古灵精怪 The scene needs the whimsy.
好吧 真可怕 All right, scary.
没必要发这么大火 No need to get fractious.
干脆这样 You know what?
我们午饭后再来决定 We can decide this after lunch.
我们...不 等等 We--no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
有个惊喜给你们 I have a surprise.
我做了拿手的越南面条 I made my famous Vietnamese noodles.
那场仗打的 At least something good
也不是毫无收获 came out of your little war.
我记得你说今天午饭可以出去吃的 I thought you said we could take off for lunch today.
我知道 可后来又得到一些灵感 I know, but then I got inspired.
提醒我谁对花生过敏来着 Now, remind me who's allergic to peanuts?
现在就差 The only thing missing
-窗户上再装上栏杆了 is the bars on the windows.
闻着是挺香的 It does smell delicious.
我真心希望你是在开玩笑 I hope you're joking.
按现在的要求 我们都不需要好笑了 In this new way where we don't have to be funny.
看见了吗 你就跟着感觉走 See? You follow it in the air,
它自然会带你到该去的地方 and then it shows you where it lands.
就像在真球场里打球一样 It's just like playing on a real course.
你知道什么更像真球场吗 You know what's even more like a real course?
-真的球场 -可用这种方式 - A real course. - Yeah, but this way
你可以在世界上任何地方打球 you can play anywhere in the world.
只要在地下室待着就行 As long as you're downstairs in your basement.
那我们现在是在哪 So where are we now?
苏格兰 圣安德鲁斯 Uh, St. Andrews in Scotland.
我兄弟住的地方离那里开车只要十分钟 Oh, my brother actually lives ten minutes from there.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
我们打完球顺道去一下吧 Maybe after the game we can swing by.
你在苏格兰真讨厌 You're kind of an asshole in Scotland.
我靠 Holy shit.
我脑子里想着蒂姆的头 I was picturing Tim's head.
我不知道你为什么还要跟那个混蛋一起工作 I don't know why you're still workin' with that douchenozzle.
我们没得选 没得选 We have no choice. We don't.
那还是我们的戏 要考虑财务问题 It's still our show. We have a financial stake.
我们不能让他把那部戏彻底毁了 We can't let him destroy it completely.
可你每晚都在那 But you're there, like, every night.
因为那个贱人没有生活 Because the twat has no life.
是你说为了钱来做这部戏 Look, you're the one who said to go for the money.
所以就别抱怨了 Well, so stop complaining.
我没有在抱怨 I'm not complaining.
-我在打高尔夫 -那就打 - I'm golfing. - So golf.
我还是觉得你们太软弱了 I still think you're wusses.
我的天 Jesus.
又想着蒂姆呢 Tim again?
其实是你 Actually, that was you that time.
来了 Coming.
如果穆罕默德不朝山来 So, if Mohammed won't come to the mountain,
那山就朝穆罕默德来 the mountain will come to Mohammed.
还带着面包圈 With bagels.
有罂粟的吗 Did you get poppy?
没有 山只买到了芝麻和原味 No, the mountain could only get sesame and plain.
穆罕默德很生气 Mm, Mohammed is pissed.
就算在你的厨房里 Even in your kitchen,
我对这种对话也感到不太舒服 I'm not comfortable with this conversation.
然后 So...
你怎么样 how are you?
挺好的 Great.
真的 I am.
真好 你买了虾葱奶酪 Oh, good, you got the chive cream cheese.
还有半磅烟熏三文鱼 Oh, and there's, uh, half a pound of nova.
不是很喜欢熏鱼 Not really a smoked fish person.
真的 Really?
我还以为你会喜欢 Mm. I just assumed.
-怎么 -就 你是那个 - What? - You know, being...
-什么 -犹太人 - What? - Jewish.
不是吗 No?
你以为我是犹太人 You thought I was Jewish?
因为 你姓兰斯嘛 Well, you know, Rance.
而且又是 And, I don't know,
演艺圈的 show business.
总之我并不是犹太人 Yeah, no, I'm not Jewish.
没必要这种语气啊 Well, you don't have to say it like that.
-我是犹太人 -你是犹太人 - I'm Jewish. - You're Jewish?
也别这种语气 对我是犹太人 Or like that. Yes, I'm Jewish.
我怎么会不知道呢 How did I not know this?
你看着不像犹太人 You don't look Jewish,
我这可是在夸你 and I mean that as a compliment.
你还是别说了 You should probably stop.
-肖恩是犹太人吗 -不是 - Is Sean Jewish? - No.
因为他倒是长得有点像 'Cause he actually looks a little...
-宋飞 -我真的觉得还是 - Seinfeld-y. - I really think we should
美国著名喜剧演员
别再聊长得像不像犹太人这码子事了 move away from the whole "Looks Jewish" Arena.
收到 Gotcha.
-但是 -别说了 - It's just the-- - No.
好吧 Okay.
不要先烤一下吗 Aren't you gonna toast it first?
-不要 -还是说只有犹太人这样 - No. - Or is that just a Semitic thing?
我饿了 I'm hungry.
你已经嗑过药了吗 Are you stoned already?
没 怎么了 No. Why?
还不到9点15呢 It's not even 9:15.
怎么了 What?
我今天又不用去哪 It's not like I have to be somewhere.
我知道这是段比较痛苦的时间 但是 Okay, I realize this is - a difficult time, but--
我没事 I'm fine.
你能不能别说没事了 Will you stop saying you're "Fine"?
你明明就有事 You are not fine.
你连家门都不出 You won't leave your house,
还没吃早饭就磕过药了 you're stoned before breakfast,
而且你看起来 and you look like...
怎么了 What?
我看起来怎么了 I look like what?
你看起来就好像我想象中 You look like what I imagine you'd look like
你如果从来没有离开密歇根的土样 if you'd never left Michigan.
我很抱歉 可你得好好听一听 Look, I'm sorry, but you need to hear it.
你得出门 You have to get out.
你不能每天什么事都不干 You can't just spend every day doing nothing.
-我不是什么都没干 -那你昨天做什么了 - I don't do nothing. - What did you do yesterday?
我起床了 I woke up.
你把起床算成自己做的事 You're counting waking up as something you did?
我起床就不错了 I didn't have to!
我就是觉得你不能让这事打败你 All I'm saying is you can't let this defeat you.
-你得 -什么 - You've got to-- - What?
找份工作 Get a job?
我在这儿已经人人避而远之了 I am poison in this town.
谁知道海伦说了我些什么 God knows what Helen's saying about me.
谁还会给我写推荐信 So who's gonna give me a recommendation?
卡斯特 我都不知道 Castor? I don't even know
他放出来没有 if they've released him yet.
可你花了那么多年来建立人际关系 But all those years of building "Relationships."
肯定会有人能帮你的 Surely someone can help you.
你在电视台那些朋友呢 You had friends at the network.
你开玩笑吗 Are you kidding?
麦拉都把我推掉了 Myra blew me off.
你是不是总这个语气 Have you always said that?
20页还有别的问题吗 Anything else on page 20?
20页 20页 Page 20? Page 20?
看 是电视上的乔伊 Oh, look, it's TV's Joey.
失陪一下 Excuse us.
我一直在给你们打电话 你们都不接 I keep calling you guys. You're not picking up.
蒂姆不允许在屋里用电话 Tim doesn't allow phones in the room.
不允许 天啊你们也太怂了 Allow? Jesus, you're pussies.
每个人的电话都关机 Actually, with everyone's phone going off,
我们根本不能完成任何工作 we'd never get any work done.
还怂 And we're pussies.
反正吧 Anyway, so...
我拿到今晚麦当娜的票 Uh, I just got tickets for Madonna tonight.
要来吗 Wanna come?
-麦当娜 真的吗 -免费的喔 - Madonna, really? - They're free.
-什么时间 -而且这是她的座位 - What time? - And they're her seats,
所以可能很不错 so they're probably really good.
-谁的座位 -麦当娜啊 - Whose seats? - Madonna's.
你是怎么拿到麦当娜的座位的 How'd you get Madonna's seats?
-她打给我了 -你认识麦当娜 - She called me. - You know Madonna?
我是认识麦当娜 我为什么不能认识麦当娜 Yeah, I know Madonna. Why can't I know Madonna?
-怎么认识的 -认识三十来年了 - How? - For, like, 30 years.
从她还宛如处女的时候就认识了 Since she was like a virgin.
在工厂认识的 I met her at The Factory.
-什么工厂 -安迪沃霍的工厂 - What Factory? - Andy Warhol's Factory?
由安迪沃霍主持 大量艺术家聚集的地方
你认识安迪沃霍 You knew Andy Warhol?
我为什么不能认识安迪沃霍 Yeah, why can't I know Andy Warhol?
金发女郎乐队介绍的 Blondie introduced us.
美国老牌摇滚乐队
行了行了 别再说了 All right, that-- just--just stop it.
我跟你们说 你们俩 I'm telling you, you guys are
是我认识的最无趣的人 the least interesting people I know.
到底来不来吧 So you wanna come or not?
他才不会放我们走 There's no way he's letting us out.
开始了 怂包 怂包 怂包 Here, pussy, pussy, pussy.
打扰一下 蒂姆 Excuse me, Tim. Hello.
我想问一下今晚 Uh, I was wondering if there was any chance
能不能早点走 of getting out a little early tonight.
-可以 -我们就剩五页了 - Yes. - We've only got, like, five pages left.
当然 应该没问题 Eh, sure enough. Should be able to do it.
要取决于你俩站在那抱怨多久 Depending on how long you two stand out there yammering.
这张脸真欠揍 He's got a face for punching.
你好啊 How you doing?
然后雷吉可以说 And then Reg could say...
"要怎么样才能有人给我个饼干" "What does a guy have to do to get a cookie around here?"
"该死的饼干" 还是就 "饼干" "Damn cookie" Or just "Cookie"?
我觉得不需要"该死的" I don't think you need the "Damn."
"要怎么样才能有人给我个饼干" "What does a guy have to do to get a cookie around here?"
"才能有人给我个该死的饼干" "To get a damn cookie around..."
"才能有人给我个饼干" "To get a cookie..."
我说真的 手指头都抠进桌子了 I swear to God, my fingers are digging into the table.
指甲里现在嵌了木头 There is wood under my nails.
算 算了吧 还是就加个"该死的" You--you know what? Let's just - stick with the "Damn."
好的 -没问题 -好多了 Yes. - Definitely. - Much better.
-就这样 -对 - Do that. - Yep, yep.
然后卡尔森太太说 Uh, so then Mrs. Carlson says--
等一下 会不会太长了 Hang on. Is it too long?
是太长了吧 It's too long, right?
这样如何 How about just,
"我想要饼干 我的饼干呢" "I want a cookie. Where's my cookie?"
如何 Yeah?
挺有趣的 然后 That is funny. So then--
或者加个语气词 Or maybe with a handle.
在前面加个"老天" Put "My God" In front of it.
"老天 要怎么样 "My God, what does a man have to do
才能有人给我个该死的饼干" to get a damn cookie around here?"
完美 Perfect.
-搞定了 -完美 过关了 - You've got it. - Perfect! Sold.
好好好 Okay, okay, okay, okay.
然后 卡尔森太太说 So then, Mrs. Carlson says--
抱歉 还有比饼干更好笑的内容吗 Sorry. Is there something funnier than "Cookie"?
我觉得已经够好笑了 Oh, I think it's funny enough.
毕竟 用你的话来说 是部喜剧 It is, as you say...A comedy.
也许换成某种特定的饼干呢 Uh, maybe a particular kind of cookie?
奥利奥 巧克力饼干 Oreos? Tollhouse?
-帮我想想 -趣多多 - H--help me here. - Chips Ahoy?
以下均为饼干品牌
-麦洛马 -海卓克 - Mallomar? - Hydrox?
-米兰薄荷 -香草薄饼 - Mint Milano? - Nilla Wafer?
-米兰薄荷 -女童子军饼干 - Mint Milano? - Girl Scout Cookie?
-月亮派 -牛顿酥 - Moon Pie? - Fig Newton?
-姜饼 -米兰薄荷 - Ginger Snap? - Mint Milano?
谁说软饼来着 软饼挺有意思 Did someone say "Fudgy"? Fudgy's funny.
软饼是挺有意思 "Fudgy" Is funny.
-软饼才没意思呢 没意思 - "Fudgy's" Not funny. - No.
"要怎么样 "What does a man have to do
才能有人给我个该死的软饼" to get a damn fudgy around here?"
我喜欢 I love it.
如果不这么写那就是脑子有病 We are crazy if we don't go with that.
-是吗 -是的 - Yeah? - Yes.
继续 Ah, moving on.
给我递个苏打饼干好吗 Hand me one of those crackers, would you?
你说苏打饼干 Did you say "Crackers"?
而不是饼干 有意思 Instead of "Cookie"? That's interesting.
什么 不不不不不 What? No, no, no, no, no, no.
不 我只是让贝贝 No, I was just asking Bev for--
不不 你说得对 No, no, no, you're-- you're right.
我喜欢 饼干太普通了 I like--uh, "Cookie's" So expected,
可是哪种苏打饼干呢 but what kind of cracker?
乐之 Ritz?
-翠士饼 -盐精苏打 - Triscuit? - Saltine?
-翠士饼 -燕麦薄饼 - Triscuit? - Wheat Thin?
-奶薄饼 -翠士饼 - Cheez-it? - Triscuit?
你看见了 You saw--
我没有 我没 I did not--I wasn't--
那不是 不是 that wasn't--that was n--
我没有 你 I did not-- You--you--you w--
你听见了 我只是让... you heard me. I was just asking...
今天的节目就是这样 That's our show.
请记住24小时在线关注我们 Remember to follow us live online 24 hours a day,
明天晚上继续回来 and be back here tomorrow night...
-六 -关注到底谁可以 - Six. - when we'll be one step closer to finding out
-击败箱子 -杰西卡 - who will beat The Box. - Jessica.
大家晚安 Good night!
结束了 感谢各位观众 Show's over. Thank you very much, folks!
-干得漂亮 马特 -我们爱你马特 - Good job, Matt! - We love you, Matt!
吉尔伯特 听着 Hey, Gilbert, listen.
谢谢你来参加 Thanks so much for doing this.
我的个天啊 Jesus Christ,
里面闻着就像是下体的下体那么臭 it smells like a vagina's vagina in there.
你得让这些人洗澡 You gotta let these people bathe.
那一个洗成澡了 That one got to take a shower.
那下次把我放到她的箱子里 Well, next time, put me in her box.
我的想法非常纯洁 And I mean that in the biblical sense.
听见了没 我跟你打招呼呢 You hear me? I said, "Hey."
我听见了 I heard you.
我那该死的窗户呢 Yeah, where are we on my fucking window?
没戏 我跟你说过了 Uh, nowhere. Because like I told you,
不可能给你弄个该死的窗户 you're not gettin' a fucking window.
谁都没窗户 No one has a window.
我都没窗户 I don't have a window.
你凭什么要有窗户 Why should you get a window?
因为我是这个破节目里的明星 Because I'm the star of the fucking show.
是吗 爱德还是《爱德先生》里的明星呢 Yeah? Well, Mr. Ed was the star
一部以马为主角的喜剧
那他也得在谷仓里拉屎 of Mr. Ed, but he still had to shit in a barn.
称呼而已 没什么意义 The title's overrated.
还记得我干你老婆的时候吗 Remember when I screwed your wife?
记得 Yeah.
那就好 只是提醒一下你 That's it. Just wanted you to remember.
你永远也不会有窗户的 You are so never getting a window.
我会有窗户的 Oh, I'm gettin' a window.
这样吧 你是个演员 You know what? You're an actor.
装作有窗户的样子就行了 Act like there's a window.
这样吧 你是个制作人 You know what? You're a producer.
吃屎去吧 Go fuck yourself.
你知不知道要做出完美可丽饼 Did you know that the secret
秘诀就是 to making the perfect crepe
提前一晚把面糊冷藏起来 is to chill the batter the night before.
我有个建议 Here's a notion,
不如我们一边工作 why don't we keep working
一边吃可丽饼 while we eat our crepes.
什么 不要 What? No.
至少花一点时间好好品尝啊 We should at least take a moment to savor them.
多花一点点时间 Well, slightly more than a moment,
可别忘了 我还给阿曼达 because don't forget, I've gotta do
做了无麸质的 a gluten free batch for Amanda.
天啊 阿曼达 吃麸质又怎么样 Jesus, Amanda, eat the gluten.
-那才是精华 -对 - It's the best part. - Right.
那个 Hi, see...
是这样的 目前看来 Here's the thing. It seems like
我们今晚终于有机会 we have a chance to get out of here
能在合适的时间下班 at a reasonable hour tonight, for once.
我们抓住机会吧 I say, we grab it.
就因为你俩有个什么安排 Just because you two have some kind of plans.
不止我俩 Not just us.
我们所有人过去六个礼拜 We have all worked every night
每晚都加班了 for the last six weeks.
我所谓的加班可不是简单的加班 I'm using "Worked" In the broadest sense,
不止包括我们的节目 还有你的烹饪节目 including not only our show, but your cooking show
还帮你选猫 and helping you to pick out a cat,
虽然我们都喜欢那些吃的 and while we all appreciate the food
也很喜欢小鞋鞋 and we love Mr. Swizzleboots,
但我敢肯定 每个人也都很想 I'm sure, everybody here would also love
回家陪陪家人 to get home to their families.
我们只要求休息一晚 We're just asking for one night off.
不知道该说点什么了 Not quite sure what to say.
我还以为可丽饼会是个特别的招待 Just thought the crepes would be a special treat,
但是 我们也不是非得吃 but...we--we don't have to have 'em.
要是大家都不想吃就算了 Not if people don't want them.
我们想吃的 来吃可丽饼吧 No, we do. Let's have the crepes.
你们只是这么一说 Well, now you're just saying it.
不不 我们很想吃 No, no, we really do.
-闻着很香 -我们来吃可丽饼吧 - They smell delicious. - Let's have the crepes.
香的就是麸质 That's the gluten.
至于休息一晚的事 And as far as taking a night off,
也可以吧 I suppose we could,
如果大家都想回家 I mean, if people would rather go home than
而不是干好工作 get the job done.
抱歉 Sorry.
我不想显得过分职业化 I don't mean to be overly professional,
可我觉得应该工作优先 but I think the work has to come first.
谁要吃苹果馅的 谁要奶酪的 Now, who's having apples and who's having cheese?
-我要苹果的 -奶酪的 - Oh, uh, apples for me. - Cheese.
我对奶酪过敏 I'm allergic to cheese.
是我们 我们还卡在可丽饼地狱 It's us. We're still in crepe hell.
我们永远走不掉了 We're never getting out of here.
我不要苹果的 No apples on mine.
-谁 -拉皮多斯先生 - Yeah? - Oh, Mr. Lapidus.
很抱歉这么晚打来 I'm sorry to call so late,
不过我们这出了点状况 but, um, we kind of have a situation here.
马特·勒布朗在舞台上 Uh, Matt LeBlanc is down on the stage.
-现在 -对 他... - Now? - Yeah, he's, um...
他现在在那个 well, he's kind of having a sex thing
跟丹妮卡 with, uh--with Danika.
等一下等一下 Hang on, hang on.
我看看监控 Let me turn on my feed.
我了个去 Holy shit.
别着急 画面还没播放出去 Don't worry, none of it has gone out.
我只要不接入丹妮卡的镜头 So long as I stay off Danika's camera,
别人就看不见 不过我觉得应该告诉你一声 nobody can see it, but I thought you should know.
不不不不 很高兴你打来了 No, no, no, no, I'm glad you called.
你做得对 You--you did the right thing.
帮我个忙 肯尼 Do me a favor, Kenny.
把直播切到丹妮卡的箱子 Switch the live feed to Danika's box.
不 我是说如果不播丹妮卡的镜头就... No, I'm saying, if you stay off of Danika's camera, then--
不不 我懂的 切过去 No, no, no, no, I hear you. Just--just switch it.
没关系 It's fine.
你确定 Are you sure?
当然 我负全责 Absolutely. I take full responsibility.
切过去 就这么播 Just switch it, and let it run.
我...好吧 I--okay, okay.
再帮我个忙 Oh, and do me a favor.
镜头对着马特放大 Zoom in on Matt.
对 漂亮 Yeah, that's nice.
谢谢你打给我 肯尼 Thanks for calling, Kenny.
晚安 You have a good night.
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