前情提要
她针对电视台提出了性骚扰的控诉 She filed a sexual harassment suit against the network.
我猜你说的是卡罗 I assume you're talking about Carol.
你这完全是自找的 You totally brought this on yourself.
你把这么美好的一段感情 You took this wonderful relationship,
完完全全地搞砸了 and you absolutely wrecked it.
她曾经很在乎你 She really cared for you.
你是第一个 You were the first boss
真正让她开心的老板 that actually made her happy.
敬还没取名的马特·勒布朗首播集 Here's to the untitled Matt LeBlanc pilot.
他肯定已经看过了吧 He's got to have read it by now.
他就像金鱼一样 He's like a goldfish.
一旦我们离开了他的视野 The minute we leave his field of vision,
他就忘记我们的存在了 he forgets we exist.
你们好啊 Hi, guys.
我刚接到了罗杰的电话 I just heard from Roger.
-然后呢 -他跟马特聊过了 - And? - He spoke to Matt.
然后呢 And?
他放弃了 He's passing.
这什么时候的事 When did this happen?
就在他看完之后 Right after he read it.
科布沙拉 Cobb salad.
戏里戏外 第五季第七集
最终集
他放弃了 He passed?
是他求着我们给他写这部破戏 He was the one who begged us to write his bloody show,
他还放弃了 and he passed?
-我知道 -那我们怎么办 - I know. - So what do we do?
这还有什么好问的 So is that even a question?
当然要问 Yes, it is.
我们不能就这么放弃 We are not just giving up.
他显然觉得剧本有些问题 Look, he obviously has some issues with the script.
试试搞清楚是什么问题 Maybe try and find out what they are.
我们要怎么样搞清楚 And how are we supposed to do that?
他不回短信 不回邮件 He hasn't answered one text, one email.
-我们去找他 -不 不不不 - So we go and talk to him. - Oh, no. - No, no, no.
行 没必要低个八度 All right. No need to drop an octave.
不 哪怕我们还剩余一点点尊严 No. So long as we still have an ounce of pride,
都不能哭着去找他 we're not gonna snivel over to him-- "Oh, Matt.
马特 我们的作品为何不能入你的法眼 How did our work fall short of your expectations?
求求你 告诉我们你的需求 Please, tell us what your needs are,
我们会尽力满足 so that we can fulfill them.
值得一试 It's worth a try.
你好 Hello.
有段时间没见到你们了 Hey. Haven't seen you guys in a while.
我们今天不在名单上 Oh, no, we're not on the list today.
如果你们不在名单上的话... Oh, well, if you're not on the list...
那你能不能给马特的助手克里斯蒂娜打个电话 Right. Maybe you could give Matt's assistant, Christina, a call.
当然 等一下 Sure, hang on.
别这样 Don't "Hmm."
我们人都来了 他不会赶我们走的 We're here. He won't turn us away.
-他不会的 那太尴尬了 -等着看 - He's not. It's too awkward. - You'll see.
等着看 You'll see.
你又不是永远正确 You know, you're not always right.
你是经常正确 但不是永远... You're often right, but not alway--
我不喜欢这个谈话 I'm not enjoying this conversation.
看看这是谁啊 Look who's here.
尊贵的林肯夫妇 It's their royal 'ighnesses.
来来 Come here.
抱歉 她说时间不是很合适 Sorry, she says it's not a good time for him.
这可真是出乎意料 No. I did not see that coming.
-谁的时间不合适 -他这会正要录节目 - Not a good time for who? - Look, he's about to do a show.
也许他真的有事 Maybe he's actually got something--
说的是马特吗 This is Matt we're--
你能不能别维护他了 Would you please stop defending him?
他就是一坨屎 He's a little shit.
我一直很喜欢你 I always liked you.
我不是说他不是一坨屎 I'm not saying he's not a little shit.
-我只是给他一点... -别 - I'm just giving him the benefit of-- - Well, don't!
他自私自利又爱伤人 根本不配做人 He is a selfish, hurtful, poor excuse for a human being,
而且他很清楚我会当他面这样说 and he knows I'll say it to his face.
这两位贵客是跟我一起的 The highnesses are with me.
谁 Yeah?
是我 有个小问题 It's me. Got a quick question.
门开着 It's open.
干吗 What?
我的问题是 Uh, my question is,
这是像我希望的那么尴尬吗 is this as awkward as I'm hoping?
是的 Ah, it is.
-如何 -如何 - How's it goin'? - How's it going?
从一到十 我觉得是什么鬼 Uh, on a scale of one to ten, I'd say it's what the fuck?
对 Right.
你的沉默真是震耳欲聋 The radio silence has been a bit deafening.
我现在要录节目 Look, I got a show right now.
这事就不能再等会吗 Could we maybe do this a little later?
没关系 我让他们等等 Well, that's okay. I'll tell 'em to hold.
玩得开心 Have fun.
听我说 罗杰应该打电话 Uh, look, Roger was supposed to call
给那个谁 向她解释的 what's-her-name and explain.
是 但我们听到的就只是你放弃了 Yes, well, all we heard is that you're passing.
差不多就是这样 Yeah, that's, well, pretty much it.
那到底是什么意思 什么叫你放弃了 What does that even mean, you're passing?
你是该死的共同作者 You're our bloody "Co-creator."
我不想重复同一句话 但是什么鬼 Not to repeat myself, but what the fuck?
你显然对剧本有问题 Okay, obviously, you have a problem with the script.
显然 Obviously.
你为什么不打给我们 Why didn't you just call us?
因为我想逃避这个 'Cause I wanted to avoid this.
行 现在大家都在场 Okay, well, we're here now,
大家都是成年人 我们可以承受 and we're grown-ups, so we can take it.
说真的 能别现在谈这事吗 Seriously, can we not do this now?
告诉我们你的问题在哪 No, let's. Just tell us what your issues are.
不够好 It...wasn't great.
在405公路上开45分钟车真是太值得了 Well, that was worth 45 minutes on the 405.
是哪方面不够好 What about it wasn't great?
我也不知道 就是 不行 I don't know. It was just...nyeh.
我知道很难组织语言 随便说 I know it's hard to articulate... Anything.
随便一条具体建议都会非常有帮助 Any specifics you can give us will be really helpful.
好 Okay.
对话看起来非常勉强 The dialogue seemed forced.
你们之前在卖剧本的时候讲的故事听着不错 The story sounded good when you pitched it,
但我读过以后 觉得很假 but after I read it, it felt contrived.
我不能跟角色产生共鸣 I couldn't empathize with the characters.
迪克和他儿子之间的关系感觉不生动 The relationship between Dick and his son didn't feel organic.
没有张力 There was no tension,
我不关心他们之间发生了什么 and I didn't care what happened to them.
看 所以我不想跟你们谈这个 See, this is why I didn't want to do this.
好好 Okay, okay, well...
我知道你可能不想这样做 I know it doesn't feel like it,
但其中有些问题是可以解决的 but some of those things are eminently solvable.
记得农场上那头猪吗 Yeah, remember that stupid pig? Up at the ranch?
到了某个时候 你得让它死掉 At a certain point, you just got to let it die.
我是觉得还没到那个时候 I'm saying we haven't reached that point.
我们的猪还在呼吸呢 Our pig is still breathing.
-我不知道 -你不知道什么 - I don't know. - What don't you know?
我 已经向前看了 I've, uh...kind of moved on.
那是什么意思 What does that mean?
我在做另一个戏了 I'm kind of doing another show.
-你什么 -什么 - You're what? - What?
怎么 Yeah?
我们准备好了 We're ready for you.
谢谢 Thanks.
我得走了 今晚很重要 I got to go. It's a big night.
我们要重新请回大羊驼 We're bringing the llama back.
你在做另一个戏是什么意思 What do you mean you're doing another show?
我演一个跟我妈一起住在佛州的杀手 Uh, yeah, the one where I'm a hit man in Florida with my mother.
你说你讨厌那部戏 The one you said you hated?
剧本写出来还挺不错的 Well, the script came out pretty good,
电视台又很上心 and the network's really hot on it.
所以你是很投入要做那部戏 So you're already committed to it?
算是吧 Kind of.
我们还尸骨未寒呢 Our bodies aren't even cold yet!
这是首播集的时节 Look, it's pilot season.
他们还跟别人有接触 They had someone else they were talking to.
给我的时间有限 They put a clock on it.
你就没有良心 And you didn't even have the decency,
一点点良心 来告诉我们 the human decency, to tell us?
因为我不想这样 Because I didn't want to do this.
所以我们才请经纪人 That's what we have people for!
请人和做人之间 There is a huge difference between having people
有巨大的差别 and being people.
你对于后者实在是非常失败 You have failed spectacularly at the second one.
说真的 能别现在讨论这事吗 Okay, seriously, can we not do this now?
-马特 马特 -你有没有意识到 - Matt, Matt! Matt! Matt! - You realize--
谢谢 Thanks.
你有没有意识到是你 You realize that you were the one
劝我们离开我们的剧组 who convinced us to leave our show?
那部戏有它的问题 但至少我们有一部戏 Yes, it had its problems, but at least we had a show.
我们现在一无所有 我们要去做什么 Now we have nothing. What are we supposed to do?
我不知道 回家去 I don't know. Go home.
你们一直都说讨厌这里的 You always say you hate it here.
你现在要把我们赶出你的国家 So now you're throwing us out of your country?
那大猩猩怎么回事 What happened to the gorilla?
你可以留着 送给你们的 Oh, you can keep that. That was for you.
不是说那只真正的猩猩 No, not the actual gorilla.
你应该要做我们的大猩猩来着 You were supposed to be our gorilla.
你说你会保护我们 You said you'd protect us.
我是在保护你们 I am protecting you.
如果那个剧本上映了 If that script went on the air,
会害死你们的职业生涯 it would've killed your careers.
什么职业生涯 What careers?
你个两面三刀的杂碎 You duplicitous lump of fuckery!
别装得好像你是在保护我们似的 Don't try to pretend you're doing it for us.
-可以开始了 -不 - We're ready to start. - Oh, no.
再给他们两分钟 Let's give 'em another minute or two.
我也很想喜欢那个剧本 我希望它特别好 Look, I wanted to love it. I fucking wanted it to be great.
但它不是 But it's not.
最了不起的事情是 You know, the truly remarkable thing
我居然没料到这一出 is that I didn't see any of this coming,
但其实自从我们到这之后 given that every shitty thing that's happened to us
遇到的所有糟心事都是因为你 since we got here comes back to you.
又开始了 Here we go.
从毁掉《莱曼校长和孩子们》 From ruining Lyman's Boys
到劝我们离开《对立面》 to getting us to leave Opposites
再到干我老婆 to fucking my wife!
这事唯一的一个好处就是 The one good thing that's come out of this
他终于能看清你的真面目了 is that finally he can see you for who you are.
你对朋友毫不忠诚 You have no loyalty.
别人对你来说是用完就扔 People are disposable to you.
你居然还演过一部叫《老友记》的戏 That you were on a show called Friends
简直是太讽刺了 is so beyond ironic!
我告诉你 You know what?
你不需要演你父亲 You don't need to play your father.
你就是你父亲 You are your father.
好 Okay.
我最后挑选出这三套 I've narrowed it down to these three.
我需要一套衣服显示出我很职业化 I want something that says, "I'm a professional,"
但同时又显示 我是个受害者 but also, "I'm a victim."
不如选那套黑色 外加一支防强暴口哨 How about the black one and a rape whistle?
同时又得要够性感 Also it should be hot enough
让人相信是她主动追求我 that you'd believe she went after me,
但又不会性感到是我勾引了她 but not so hot that I might've seduced her.
还有 Oh, and...
我需要有点女同气质的 I want something a little lesbian-y
但也要够柔软 让人相信 but also soft enough that you'd believe
那是我第一次走下面 it was my first time down there.
行 Right.
我觉得你需要穿一部成长小说在身上 I think you're gonna have to wear a coming-of-age novel.
-什么 -你从一件裙子上要的太多了 - What? - You're asking the impossible. From a dress.
我从没参加过取证 Look, I've never been to a deposition.
我猜会持续好几个小时 I assume they last for hours.
就选一件舒服的 Just pick something that's comfortable
看不出汗渍的 and doesn't show sweat stains.
行 Fine.
就一个问题 Just answer me this.
我不应该显肚子 对吧 I don't want to show the baby bump, do I?
除非你打算解释她是怎么把你肚子搞大的 Not unless you're prepared to explain how she knocked you up.
我超级怕的 I am so dreading this.
比衣服更重要的是 M-more important than the dress,
你有没有想过你要说什么 have you thought about what you're gonna say?
我不知道 I don't know.
我就讲讲发生了什么事 I'm just gonna tell what happened.
对 但我觉得你应该准备好应对各种问题 Right, but I think you should be ready for the kinds of questions.
比如 Like?
-兰斯小姐 -我们现在要练吗 - Miss Rance. - Oh, so we're doing this now.
这是你第一次 Is this the first employer
跟上司发生关系吗 that you've had a relationship with?
-他们又不知道 -海伦知道他们就知道 - They don't know that. - Helen knows, so they know.
请回答问题 Answer the question, please.
不是第一次 No, it's not the first.
你以前跟多少个上司发生过关系 How many of your former bosses have you had affairs with?
-我不记得了 -多少个 - I don't remember. - How many?
三个 四个 Three. Oh, four.
五个 五个 Five. Five.
所以你算是个老手了 So you were really an old hand at this.
几乎算是一种固定模式 One could almost call it a pattern.
你为什么走来走去 没人会走来走去 Why are you pacing? No one paces.
都坐在椅子里 They're just in chairs.
所以对这种事的后果 So the consequences
你不应该那么意外 should not have been surprising to you at all.
-是这样吧 -你跟谁站在一边呢 - Isn't that true? - Whose side are you on?
你必须做好准备 回答我的问题 You have to be ready for this. Answer the question.
问题是什么来着 W-W-what was the question?
是谁主动的 是你还是拜什女士 Who initiated the relationship, you or Mrs. Basch?
-算是双方的 -双方的 - It was kind of mutual. - Mutual?
-更多是她吧 -你试过阻止她吗 - More her, I guess. - Did you try and stop her?
-大概有吧 -有吗 - Uh, maybe? - Did you?
-没有 -你有鼓励她吗 - No. - Did you encourage her?
-没有 -这是你第一次 - No! - Is this the first time
跟女人在一起吗 that you'd ever been with a woman?
-是 -是吗 - Yes! - Was it?
曾经有一次 在戏剧营 Okay, once, at theater camp.
当时是《查理布朗你是好人》 It was at the cast party
的全员派对 for You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
她演露西 我演派蒂 She was Lucy, I was Patty,
我们当时都嗑药嗑嗨了 and we were both really, really stoned.
-真的吗 -靠 - Really? - Oh, fuck.
我会被生吞活剥的 I'm gonna fry.
他说的对 He's right.
不够好 It's not good.
-我知道 -你读到哪了 - I know. - How far are you?
反正是早就不想读了 Further than I want to be.
我们怎么会没有发现 How did we not realize?
就好像我们刚认识那会你穿的七分裤 It's like those capri pants you had when we first met.
你觉得你看起来超... You thought you looked so--
我们说好了不要再讨论七分裤的 We agreed we'd never discuss the capri pants.
你的小脚踝 Your little ankles.
就好像长了毛的肯尼迪夫人 行行 Like a hairy Jackie Onassis. Fine.
我们会恢复过来的 We will recover from this.
我知道 I know.
我其实不知道 但我相信你是对的 Actually, I don't know, but I'm sure you're right.
你总是对的 You always are.
刚看到公园里那一幕 Just got to the scene in the park.
-别看了 -停不下来 - Stop. - I can't.
-你需要分心 -什么 - Well, if you need a distraction... - What?
抱歉 现在谁也安慰不了我 I'm sorry. Right now, I'm feeling rather inconsolable.
不过欢迎你来尝试 Although you're welcome to try.
被我性感的肯尼迪夫人脚踝点燃了 Turned on by my hairy Jackie O ankles?
我现在满脑子想着这事 They're all I can think about.
你起得很早啊 You're up early.
根本没睡 Never went to sleep.
真的吗 Seriously?
你似乎很想我 Clearly I was missed.
又是安眠药又是红酒 我还活着就不错了 Between the Ambien and the Chardonnay, be happy I'm alive.
你在干什么呢 What are you doing?
写作 Writing.
亲爱的 放弃吧 Darling, let it go.
他就说过一句真话 It's the one thing he said that's true,
让那头猪死掉吧 "Let the pig die."
是新的 It's something new.
真的吗 Really?
我能看吗 Can I see?
不 还太早了 Uh, no, it's too soon.
好吧 All right.
不不 No. No.
行 你准备好了告诉我 Fine. Whenever you're ready.
现在 现在看 Now. Read it now.
天 Oh, my.
写自己熟悉的主题 Write what you know.
哪部分 Which bit?
很好 Oh, good.
太棒了 This is exciting.
是吗 Yes?
我非常开心 I am very happy.
好 Good.
我要去睡了 该你了 I'm going to sleep. Your turn.
我的天 Oh, my God.
感受一下我的手有多湿 Feel how wet my hands are.
-不了 -真的 感受一下 - That's okay. - Seriously, feel them.
真的 我知道湿是什么感觉 Seriously, I know what wet feels like.
抱歉 我不想把衣服弄脏了 Sorry. I don't want to mess up my suit.
没关系 我就是来支持你和你的汗腺的 That's fine. I'm here for you and your glands.
我为什么要来经历这些破事 Why am I putting myself through this?
就告诉你自己这都是为了宝宝 Just keep telling yourself it's for the baby.
为了宝宝的房子 It's for the baby's house.
为了宝宝的大学学费 It's for the baby's college fund.
是是是 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-而且为了你能再有钱买大麻 -对 - And it's so you can buy dope again. - Yes.
希望还有钱能剩下 Hopefully, there'll be a little left over
给宝宝请心理医生 for the baby's therapist.
天啊天啊天啊 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
-什么 -楼梯 别看 我说了别看 - What? - The stairs. Don't look. I said don't look!
冷静 深呼吸 Calm down. Take a breath.
-她在看吗 -你刚让我别看 - Is she looking? - You just said don't look!
她为什么在 Why is she here?
他们说她不会在的 They said she wasn't gonna be here.
显然他们错了 Well, obviously, they were wrong.
靠 我要吐了 Fuck. I'm gonna throw up.
你别吐 You are not gonna throw up.
看着我 Focus on me.
假装我们在聊天 Act like we're talking.
苹果酱 苹果酱 Applesauce. Applesauce.
-苹果酱 -什么 - Applesauce. - What?
-说 -苹果酱 - Just say it. - Applesauce.
苹果酱 苹果酱 Applesauce. Applesauce.
她快走到电梯了 坚持住 She's almost at the lift. Hang in there.
我真的要吐了 I really think I'm gonna throw up.
-真的真的吗 -苹果酱 - Really really? - Applesauce.
洗手间 Uh, the ladies' room?
站起来 We're standing up.
呼吸 Breathe.
这就对了 很好 There we go. Very good.
我们继续走 继续走 We're walking. We're walking.
她还在吗 Is she still there?
我不知道 我没看 I don't know. I'm not looking.
-我要看 -别看 - I'm gonna look. - Do not look.
我看了 I'm looking.
靠 她看见我看了 Shit! She saw me looking.
告诉你别看了 Told you not to look!
天啊 Oh, God.
天啊 天啊 Oh, God. Oh, God.
-你还想吐吗 -可能吧 - Do you still need to throw up? - Maybe.
不 我没事了 No. I'm okay.
我靠 H-h-h-holy shit!
听我说 Listen to me.
最糟糕的部分已经结束了 The worst is over.
你看见她了 她看见你了 You saw her. She saw you.
你没有哭出来 You didn't burst into tears...
也没有冒火 ...or burst into flames.
你比自己以为的要坚强 You are stronger than you think you are.
我们需要谈谈 We need to talk.
你在里面还好吗 Are you all right in there?
很好 Fine!
我走了 I'm gonna go.
别 留下 No! Stay.
好 Okay.
你好吗 So how are you?
非常不舒服 Wildly uncomfortable.
那是应该的 As you should be.
那 So, uh...
马特要演那部杀手的戏 Matt's doing that hit man thing.
怎么回事 What happened there?
没必要讨论那个 Oh, it's not worth going into.
好 Okay.
肖恩和我开始写一部新戏 Sean and I started something new.
给我们 For us?
-有可能 -很好 很好 - Possibly. - Good. Good.
我不想这么早就开始推销 但我觉得... I don't want to pre-sell it, but I think you'll--
-你们来真的 -抱歉 - Seriously? - Sorry.
所以 So...
你想谈谈吗 You wanted to talk?
我应该走吗 Should I go or...
走 Yeah. Go.
我没关系 I'm good.
你确定 You sure?
好 All right.
我就在外面 I'll be right outside.
有什么事就大声喊 Holler if you need me.
行 听我说 Okay, look.
不 你听我说 No, you look.
我们两个人都参与了这件事 Two of us went into this thing,
但只有一个人还有工作 but only one of us still has a job.
只有一个人能继续生活下去 Only one of us got to go on with her life
假装什么事也没有发生过 like nothing ever happened.
-等等 嘘 -你才嘘 Wait. Shh, shh. No, you shh, shh, shh!
我不应该遇到这种事 I didn't deserve this.
你说得对 You're right.
没错 Yeah, I am.
所有这些糟心事都怪我 All the shit that went down, that's on me.
对 Yep.
我脑袋坏掉了 I got nuts.
我整个人就好像一个神经病 I was like a sick fucking...
混蛋 fuck.
我说真的 我回头看的时候感觉... I swear to God, I look back, and I'm like...
我开始看心理医生了 I finally started seeing this shrink.
-晚了 -可能是 - Little late. - Probably.
反正她看着挺聪明的 我也不知道 Anyway, she seems smart. I don't know.
我们主要讨论你 Mostly, we talk about you.
很好 Good.
她都不能相信我干的某些破事 Even she couldn't believe some of the shit I pulled.
她说我陷入爱情的时候就会这样做 She says that's what I do when I'm in love.
是一种什么抛弃情结 It's some kind of abandonment thing
-跟我爸的各种破事有关 -等等 - and all kinds of crap with my father. - Wait.
你陷入爱情了 You were in love?
拜托 Oh, come on.
真的吗 Really?
你知道的 You knew that.
-不知道 -你知道的 - Nope. - Yeah, you did.
你从来没说过 You never said it.
-但你知道的 我不知道 - But you knew it. - I did not.
拜托 我当然爱你了 Come on. Of course I love you.
爱过 爱过 Loved. Loved.
行吧 Fine.
爱 Love.
真的吗 Really?
我超他妈想你的 I miss you so fucking much.
我也想你 I miss you too.
打扰一下 你们能继续说话吗 Excuse me? Um, can you keep talking?
你们要是都在听着 'Cause I'm never gonna be able to pee
我没办法尿出来 if you're both listening.
抱歉 Sorry.
好点吗 Better?
谢谢 Thank you.
我一直在想你 I think about you all the time.
我也想你 I think about you too.
我的天 Oh, my God.
我都没办法在自己床上睡觉了 I can't even sleep in my bed anymore.
太压抑了 It's too depressing.
我好开心 That makes me so happy.
然后又出了那部该死的电影《卡罗》 And then that fucking movie Carol came out.
搞笑呢吗 I mean, seriously?
那两个女的 那么性感 Those two women, and it's so hot,
电影还叫《卡罗》 and it's called Carol?
我简直要死了 It fucking killed me.
我觉得那部电影有点慢 I thought it was kind of slow.
是有点慢 It was slow.
是啊 Yeah.
有件你的T恤我一直没还给你 I never gave you back one of your T-shirts.
还有你的味道 It still smells like you.
很恶心吗 Oh, like in a gross way?
不恶心 No, not in a gross way.
哪一件 Which one?
蓝色那件 The blue James Perse.
天 Oh, Jesus.
我一直在找那件衣服 I've been looking all over for that.
-你想要回去吗 -不 - You want it back? - No.
-你确定 -对 - You sure? - Yeah.
如果你想要的话 I mean, if you want it--
-等一下 -怎么 - Wait. - What?
我需要薄荷糖 Oh, I need a mint.
-你好得很 -真的吗 - You're fine. - Really?
-我没有呕吐物的味道吗 -没有 - I'm not vomit-y? - No.
我有薄荷糖 I have a mint!
-谢谢 -没事 - Thank you. - That's okay!
我想要再有一次机会 I want another chance.
-不 -不 不会像... - No. - No, it wouldn't be like--
不行 No. I can't.
你把我毁了 You wrecked me.
我非常抱歉 I'm so fuckin' sorry.
如果我能撤回所有事 Look, if I could undo everything--
如果你能有可能 but if there's any way
允许我向你表明 you'll let me show you
我不是一定会变成那样 that I don't have to be that person--
去他的 Oh, fuck it.
好 All right.
但是如果 如果我们再次打开这扇门 But if-- if we open this door again--
拜托了 Oh, please!
我们打开这扇门吧 Let's open the door.
打开这扇门 Open the door!
没说你 Not you!
-如果 -好 - If. - Right.
我们要慢慢来 We are gonna take it slow.
绝对的 Absolutely.
慢慢来 Slow.
别搞什么 要同居了 None of this, "We're moving in.
要一起养狗了 We're getting a dog."
肯定的 慢慢来 Totally. Slow.
慢慢来 Slow.
我们都不用睡到一起 等到... We don't even have to sleep together until--
我倒也不是这个意思 Well, I'm not saying that.
所以我们要开始了吗 So this is happening?
慢慢来 Slowly.
但是要开始了 But happening?
但是要开始了 But happening.
以及 Also...
还有一件事你应该知道 there's one other thing you should know.
我们有孩子了 We're having a baby!
-我们刚说了 -那又怎么样 - We just said-- - Oh, so what?
恭喜 Congratulations.
一个月后
进来 Coming!
先看一眼 Always look first.
疯子才不会敲门 Maniacs seldom knock.
永远要先看一眼 Always look.
这是给你们的 This is for you.
知道这是什么吗 You know what it is?
-不想跟你玩这套 -别啊 - We're not doing this. - Come on.
-这是什么 -不 - What is it? - No.
有灯光看得比较清楚 Maybe in the light.
现在呢 How about now?
-是什么蛇吗 -不是 - Some kind of snake thing? - No.
奶油先生巧克力冰淇淋 A chocolate Mr. Whippy.
我都不知道那是什么 I don't know who that is. No.
-不是蛇玩具 -不是 - And it's not a snake thing? - No.
我怕的就是这个 See, this is what I was afraid of.
我跟克里斯蒂娜说了 I told Christina,
他们肯定不知道这是什么 "They're not gonna know what it is,"
你们肯定不敢相信这花了多少钱 and you can't believe what it fuckin' cost to make.
很好 我希望你浪费了一大笔钱 Good. I hope you wasted a lot of money.
是一坨大便 It's a turd.
你给我们做了一坨大便 You made us a turd?
对 Yeah.
就好像那只大猩猩 It's like the gorilla,
不过我不是大猩猩 only I'm not a gorilla.
原来我是一坨屎 Turns out I'm a piece of shit.
不需要用一坨布艺屎来告诉我们 Didn't need an upholstered poo to tell us that.
我是一坨屎 我很抱歉 I'm a piece of shit, and I'm sorry.
你就是一坨抱歉的屎 You are a sorry piece of shit.
我知道 我知道 I know. I know!
我一直在想你们说的那些话 I can't stop thinking about that thing you said
关于我像我父亲一样 我很讨厌这样 about me being like my father, and I fuckin' hate it.
触动了你的神经 是吧 Touched a nerve, did we?
我父亲抛弃了我们 而我做了什么 My father walked out on us, and what did I do?
我他妈抛弃了你们 I fuckin' walked out on you.
我不知道你们是不是打算要回家了 I didn't know if you were headed back home or not,
但我一定要在你们走之前见见你们 but I had to see you before you go.
还有句话我要说 And for whatever it's worth...
你们说得对 you were right.
这 And this...
就是我的感受 is how I feel.
就这个 There you go.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
-你看了我们的新剧本 -那又怎么样 - You read our new script. - Ah, so what?
我的天 Oh, my God.
你们一定得让我演这个人 You got to let me play this guy.
你没有羞耻心吗 Have you no shame?
我简直了 I can't even!
这得是更大的一坨屎才行 This needs to be a much bigger piece of shit!
我真的为之前的事感到很难过 真心的 Look, I really do feel bad about what happened. Honest.
像你说我们要打算回家的时候那么真心吗 Honest like when you said you thought we were going home?
你明明知道我们要拍这部新戏 Even when you already knew we were doing the new show?
那是之前的事了 That was then.
就在30秒之前 It was 30 seconds ago!
有些事该忘就忘 You got to let some stuff go.
-我们没得谈了 -别啊 - We're done here. - Come on!
这才是我们早就应该拍的戏 This is the show we should've done all along!
你怎么还有脸这么想 How could you possibly think,
发生了这些种种事情 given everything that's happened--
你这个样子对待我们 You have treated us so horrendously,
你还期望我们重新接受你 and then you expect us to just take you back?
我们之间不就是这样吗 But that's kind of our thing.
这又不是什么好事 It's not a good thing.
你就是我们从没遭遇过的暴力男友 You're the abusive boyfriend we never had.
冷静 Calm down.
人不总是分分合合的吗 People break up and get back together all the time.
-蠢人才是 -你们就有 - Stupid people. - You guys did.
我们爱彼此 We love each other.
你就不认为这里有爱吗 And you don't think there's love here?
没有 No!
拜托 Come on!
一点点爱 A little love.
一点点 A little.
一点点 A little...
你真的觉得 Do you honestly believe
你就这么撒撒娇 that you can just bat your eyes
施展一下你的魅力 and turn on your theoretical Matt LeBlanc charm
我们就像你上过的那些傻姑娘一样晕过去了 and we'll swoon like those idiot girls you screw?
-一点点 -没有 - A little? - No!
-没有 -没有 - No? - No.
你可以用这些大便来哄我们 You can try to woo us with all the plushy turds you like.
但你搞的这些屎骗不了我们了 I'm afraid your shit no longer impresses us.
你这是假笑 That's your fake laugh.
看 你们是有多了解我 See, you guys know me so well!
你们希望我参加试镜吗 Look, do you want me to read for it?
我可以去试镜 I'll read for it.
但我现在就告诉你们 But I'll tell you right now,
你们找不到比我更好的人了 you're not gonna do any better.
是吗 Oh, really?
你会对那个已经选中的人感到惊讶的 You'd be surprised at who's already been cast.
我知道 我听说了 I know. I heard.
但是这个角色 But for this part?
我就是那个人 I am that guy.
你们写的时候就很清楚 And you knew it when you wrote it.
我知道你们很生气 I know you're pissed.
换我也会很生气的 I'd be pissed at me too.
我是很混蛋 I was a dick.
但不要用你们的戏来出气 But don't punish your show for it.
你正在做的那部戏呢 What about the show you're already doing?
去它的 Fuck it.
所以你又打算对那个编剧 So you're willing to do to that writer
做你刚刚对我们道歉的事 what you've just apologized to us for?
这不一样 This is different.
我跟你们之间有过往 I have a history with you.
有爱 There's love here.
我告诉你们 这是爱 I'm telling you. Love!
不会是你的制作公司 It wouldn't be your production company.
你也不能当制作人 You wouldn't even be a producer.
谁想当制作人 Who wants to be a producer?
也不会是里斯金和虾姆金 Neither would Riskin and Shrimpkin or
-或者虾姆金 -没关系 - Shrimkin or-- - That's fine.
我都没见过虾姆金 I never even met Shrimpkin.
-是西姆金 -随便吧 - It's Shimkin! - Whatever.
你们怎么想 So? What do you say?
太好了 Yes!
看见没 一点点爱 See? A little love.
-一点点爱 -不 - A little love. - No.
一点点爱 拜托 A little love. Come on.
-不不不 -进来 - No, no, no. - Comin' in.
不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no. No!
把他弄开 Get him off me.
两个月后
-不不不 -不 - No, no, no. - No.
停下 Stop it.
字幕组 ZiMuZu.tv
原创翻译 双语字幕
最快首发美剧日剧下载请登录 字幕组网站www.ZiMuZu.tv
翻译: NANA
校对: NANA
时间轴: 纸袋P
后期: 鱼骨头
总监： NANA