现代爱情 第一季 第七集
现在 上演了古老的一幕 And now, in a scene as old as time itself,
新妈妈把婴儿呈现给了父亲 the female, now a mother, presents her baby to the father.
这是紧张的一刻 It's a tense moment.
雄性如果对宝宝的父亲有丝毫疑问 Males have been known to reject their young
是可能会拒绝承认它的 if they are in any doubt as to whether or not they are the father.
有时甚至会吃掉小宝宝 Or even to eat them.
别吃你的宝宝啊 Oh, please don't eat your baby.
该死 Ooh, fuck.
我要去睡了 I'm going to bed.
好 亲爱的 我就去 All right, babe, I'll be in.
我先完成这部分的 I just want to finish this reel.
你是否有过强烈的父母感觉 Do you ever get strong parental feelings?
特别强烈的 Overpowering?
没有过 No.
我刚看完一部纪录片 Uh, well, I just finished watching this, uh, program
讲刚果的大猩猩宝宝的 about baby gorillas in the Congo,
怎么说呢 我开始泌乳了 and I don't know, I... I started lactating.
恶心 That's disgusting.
你不会对自己感到无聊吗 Well, don't you get bored of yourself?
对你的快乐 Of your happiness?
你的关注 你的跑步 Your mindfulness? Of your running?
你的事业 Your career?
我有时对自己感到好厌倦 I get so bored of "me."
嗯 我能理解你的意思 Mm-hmm, yeah, I-I know what you mean.
亲爱的 我觉得不完整 Honey, I feel incomplete.
我们哪天谈谈好了 Well, let's discuss it sometime.
我去烧水 I'll click the kettle.
我们可以做试管授精 Well, we could do IVF
-就像我朋友查理和迈克 -他们做了什么 - like my friends Charlie and Mike. - What did they do?
他们雇了个印度的穷苦女人做代孕妈妈 They paid some poor lady in India to be their surrogate,
他们混合了他们的精子 and then they mixed up their sperm
这样就不知道是哪个人的精子让卵子受精了 so they wouldn't find out which one of them fertilized the egg.
-成功了吗 -当然 - Did that work? - Sure,
他们现在有个可爱的三岁孩子 they've got a beautiful three-year-old
长得特别像查理 who looks exactly like Charlie.
那位印度的穷苦女人呢 And what happened to the poor Indian lady?
不知道 大概能吃一年的好饭了吧 I don't know. I guess she ate really well for a year.
好吧 那领养呢 Okay, what about adopting?
也不错 That makes sense.
我完全不想再带个人来到这世上了 I have no desire to bring another human being into the world.
我也不想 No. Me, neither. So...
好 那怎么办 Right. Well, what are we gonna do?
我们真要考虑这事吗 Are we gonna really think about it?
于是托宾和安迪 And so, Tobin and Andy
开始了他们的繁殖之旅 begin their reproductive journey,
就在纽约市 here in the city of New York.
这段冒险将充满刺激 失望 It will be an adventure full of excitement, disappointment,
欢笑 眼泪 和相当繁杂的手续 laughter, tears, and an astounding amount of paperwork.
你们考虑过开放式领养吗 So, have you guys thought about open adoption, too?
你们也做那个吗 Do you guys do that?
现在大家都做这个了 Everyone does now.
生母与孩子的接触程度完全是由 The birth mother has as much or as little access with the child
你们仨商量决定 as the three of you agree.
你们当然将成为合法监护人 And you would be legal guardians, of course.
那...不错啊 That sounds... awesome.
-这样不错 -好 - I-I think we'd like that. - Okay.
这是需要填写的文件 Well, let me give you a little paperwork to fill out.
然后我就能把你们录入数据库了 And I'll get you in my database.
这堆文件得砍了一棵树吧 That is a whole tree of paperwork.
你以为今天 What exactly did you expect
会发生什么 安迪 was gonna happen today, Andy?
-他今天带了婴儿车座来 -好吧 - He brought a car seat today. - Well...
我 闭嘴 我没有 I-- Shut up, I did not.
她的一人世界
是她 It's her.
-好 崔娜 -好好好 - Okay. Hey, Trina. - All right, all right, all right.
你们还好吗 How you guys holding up?
-我们很好 -挺好 - We're okay, yeah. - Good.
好吧 这次没成功 Okay. So, this one did not pan out.
很抱歉 Yeah, I'm sorry.
她临时改主意了 She got cold feet.
又是因为同性恋的事吗 Was it, was it the gay thing again?
不 我觉得不是 No, I don't believe so.
天啊 俩有房有工作的 Jesus, how hard can it be for two employed,
同性恋建立个家庭要有多难啊 home-owning homosexuals to start a family?
我以为我们现在都能养五胞胎了 I thought we would have quintuplets by now.
-我还有个点子 -五胞胎 I-I do have one more idea. - Quintuplets?
-对 -希望不大 - Yeah. - It's a long shot.
她近期来过我们办公室 喜欢你们的档案 She came into our office recently and liked your file.
但她有点... But she's a little...
什么 Little what?
你们还是直接见见她吧 You know what? You should just meet her.
周四如何 How about Thursday?
-好 -好 - Okay. - Yeah.
-天啊 -我去 - Jesus. - Holy shit.
-你准备好了吗 -就是这里了 - You ready for this? - This is it.
你是卡拉吗 Are you Karla?
对 托宾和安迪吧 Yeah. Tobin and Andy, right?
-倒过来 -抱歉 - Other way... - Oh. Sorry.
托宾 安迪 Tobin. Andy.
-坐吧 抱歉 -嗯 - Oh, sit. Sorry. - Yeah. Yeah.
感觉好像面试 Feels like an interview.
但是谁面试谁呢 But who's interviewing who?
应该是你面试我们 Well, you should be interviewing us, I guess.
是我们想要你的宝宝 I mean, we're the ones who want your baby.
是啊 Right.
你们是什么人 Who are you?
-我还是他 -作为伴侣 - Who, me or him? - As a couple.
我不在乎你们单独是什么样 I don't care about you as individuals.
你们作为伴侣是什么样 Who are you as a couple, and...
为什么是你们来照顾我的儿子 why are you the ones to take care of my baby boy?
或是女儿 我没查过 说 Or girl. I haven't checked. Go.
好吧 我们在一场派对上认识 Well, when we first met, at a party,
我当时要感冒了 I was coming down with the flu.
我能感觉到 I could feel it in my bones.
我知道我该回家的 但他太有趣了 And I knew I should go home, but he was so interesting,
于是我们整晚 so we spent the entire night
都在城里散步 散到黎明 walking around the city until dawn
那是一年里最冷的一晚 on the coldest night of the year.
第二天 我妈把我送进了医院 The next day, my mom admits me into the hospital.
-我得了双侧肺炎 -我去 - I had double pneumonia. - Fuck.
他对此一无所知 And he didn't know anything about this,
因为我去医院的路上弄丢了他的号码 because I lost his number on the way to the hospital.
在三天的高烧和神志不清中 So for three days of-of fever and hallucination,
我一直在想 "糟糕 他会以为 all I'm thinking is, "Oh, no, he's gonna think
-我不上心" -嗯 - that I don't care." - Right.
而且他比我大十岁呢 Also, he's, like, a decade older than me,
所以他是高攀了 so he's punching above his weight.
但我醒来时 他也在 But when I came to, he was there,
在我床边 at my bedside.
等等 Wait.
你怎么找到他的 How did you know how to find him?
我从派对女主人那里拿到了他的号码 I got his number from the hostess of the party.
我觉得我们处得很愉快 I just had a sense that we'd gotten along so well,
他不打给我肯定有原因 there must be some reason for him not calling me.
他是对的 He was right.
好基啊 That is so gay.
好温馨 And so nice.
-爱是心电感应的 是吧 -对 - Love is telepathic, right? - Yeah.
我就知道你们会不错 I knew you guys were cool.
太好了 那么 Lovely. So now...
你们需要叫点什么吗 ...can I get you all something?
好的 好 Uh, yeah. Uh, good idea.
要再来杯咖啡吗 卡拉 Um, you want another coffee, Karla?
-你想点什么 -你们请还是我请 - Or what do you want? - Are you getting this or am I?
-我们 当然是我们 -我们 我们 - Oh, us. Totally us. Yeah. - Oh, us. Us, us, us.
我要招牌午餐 I'll have the lunch special,
还有可乐 再来杯咖啡 a-and a Coke and another coffee.
给我留个香蕉圣代 And, uh, save me a banana split.
你们呢 Guys?
来两杯绿茶吧 Uh, well, could we get two green teas?
你什么时候生 So, uh, when are you due?
八个月后 Eight months.
行吗 Is that okay?
你们是想要新生儿吧 I mean, a newborn, is that what you were looking for?
我们不在乎的 Oh, we don't care.
你想有多少的参与度 And how much involvement do you think you'd like?
不好说 我总到处走 It's hard to say. I travel a lot.
但我每年能来纽约两次 But I come through New York twice a year, so...
或许每年见孩子两次吧 you know, maybe twice a year.
行 你到处走是为了工作吗 Okay. Uh, and what's the traveling about? Work?
不 我是流浪者 No, I'm homeless.
好 Okay. Okay.
-好 行 -很棒 - Okay, cool. - Awesome.
别假装这没有让你们有点担心了 Oh, stop pretending that doesn't throw you a little bit.
或许有点吧 I mean, maybe... maybe a little bit.
-是啊 -这是... - Yeah. Yeah. - Yes. Is-is it...
等等 父亲是谁 卡拉 Wait, so... so, who's the father, Karla?
在街头认识的一个人 A guy I met on the street.
他挺好的 Yeah, um, he's a good man.
我们偶尔会遇到 Our paths cross every once in a while,
但最终不怎么合适 but, you know, ultimately not a match.
他想找个地方安顿下来 我不想 He wants to settle down somewhere. Not me.
-你觉得是因为什么 -我不知道 - What do you think that's about? - I don't know. I mean,
我没有精神病 I don't have any mental problems.
我就是 I'm just, um...
我就是不想在一个地方待太久 I just don't like being in one place for too long.
能来个玛芬蛋糕吗 Can I have a muffin?
谢谢 Thanks.
而且 我追随太阳 Yeah, and, you know, I-I follow the sun.
那就像首詹姆斯·泰勒的歌 Oh, like a... like a James Taylor song.
房子让我觉得幽闭恐惧 And houses make me feel claustrophobic.
我觉得那是人们给自己建的陷阱 I think they're a trap we build for ourselves, like...
就像车和智能手机 like cars and smartphones.
我们以为那些东西让我们变聪明了 Things we think make us smarter
但其实是让我们变蠢了 but actually make us more dumb.
我觉得到处走 每周来到新的城市 I think traveling, you see a new city every week,
你能重新了解这个国家 you totally get to reconnect with the country
和让它伟大的人民 and the people that made it great.
而不是从电视里看 Instead of just watching it through a TV.
谢谢 Thank you.
可以借你的勺子吗 Can I borrow your spoon?
嗯 Yeah.
我帮你拿吧 Let me... let me help you with that.
谢谢 Thanks.
-天啊 -你没事吧 - Yeah. Whoa. - You okay?
没事 里面有什么 Yep. What's in here?
我的全世界 It's just my world.
你好 亲爱的 宝宝 Hello, darling. Hello, baby.
我给带了好吃的 I got you a little treat.
-你的狗吗 -是的 这是霍马 - Your dog? - This is. This is Homer.
我去哪它去哪 He goes everywhere I go.
好吃吗 Yeah, is that good?
打个招呼吧 Want to say hi?
霍马 打招呼 Homer, say hi. Say hi.
-我们成不成了 -等等 - So, are we doing this? - Wait-wait.
你不想了解下我们是不是有公寓 Don't you want to know if we, like, own our apartment?
或我们每年能挣多少钱吗 Or-or-or, uh, how much we take home a year?
-我们上的什么大学 -我们是否签了合同 - What colleges we went to? - Are we on a contract?
-这个经常有人问 -不 - That's a popular one. - No.
我不在乎那些 No, I don't care about any of that stuff.
我只想知道你们是相爱的 I just want to see that you're in love.
我觉得你们是相爱的 I think you are.
给我吧 Give me that.
我们也不总是开开心心 Well, it's not always happy families with us,
经常会变成 i-it frequently descends into, uh,
《灵欲春宵》 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
好 我要回崔娜那里 Sure. Okay, so I'm gonna go back to Trina,
说我觉得我挑好了 and say that I think I found a match,
如果能达成一致 and then, if we all agree to this,
我前六个月就继续到处走 I'm gonna continue my travels for, like, the first two trimesters,
然后再会城里来 and then come back to the city.
这是我的号码 Um, yeah, here's my number.
好的 非常感谢 Okay. Thank you so much.
认识你真是不凡的经历 It was a real experience meeting you.
这样真的很好 This is a really good thing.
你们是好人 我儿子 或女儿 You guys are good people, and my baby boy or girl
会很有幸能由你们这样一对伴侣养大 would be privileged to be looked after by a couple like you.
嗯 再见 谢谢你们请午餐 Yeah. Bye. Thanks for lunch.
来 Come!
再见 Bye.
她是好的那种疯 还是坏的那种疯 So is she good crazy or bad crazy?
我不知道 我不确定她心里有数 I don't know. I'm not sure she knows what she's doing.
但你知道我们支持她说的 But you do know that we advocate for everything
-所有那些话吧 -知道 - she's talking about? - Yeah.
资本主义的疯狂发展 恐惧 Capitalism gone crazy, fear,
-我们自己设的陷阱 -我喜欢她的那些 - traps of our own making... - Right, I like that about her,
但她太过激了吧 but she's taking it a little far, right?
怎么了 因为她说到做到了吗 What? By actually living it?
-是啊 算是吧 -好吧 - Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. - Okay...
拜托 吉普 快拉吧 All right, come on, Kipper, take a shit already.
别给它压力嘛 Don't put her under pressure, all right?
-它会紧张的 -好吧 - It makes her nervous. - Okay, whatever...
我就是说 我们对这姑娘一无所知 I'm just saying, we don't know anything about this girl
也不知道她现在的情况 or-or what she's going through.
我们怎么知道她不会...来 How do we know that she won't just-- come on--
她不会在看到宝宝后改主意 she won't just change her mind when she sees the baby?
感觉好冒犯 It just feels really intrusive.
俩变态基佬 插手一个年轻姑娘的孕事 Two creepy gays messing with some young kid's pregnancy.
我们...算了吧 Just... Let's just leave it.
算了 我们就不该做家长 Leave it alone. We're not supposed to be parents.
我们不是当家长的料 没关系的 We're not parents and that's all right.
这是天赐良机 This is a gift, okay?
又不是个受生活所迫的穷苦女人 It's not some poor woman that's been coerced
不得不替我们生孩子 by circumstance into having our child,
也不是再把一个孩子带到这操蛋的世界上来 or bringing a new child into this fucking hellhole.
这孩子无论如何也要出生 This is happening either way. Okay?
而我们可以给TA个家 And we get to be there to catch it.
不 感觉是投入好多时间 No, it just feels like a hell of a lot of time
到一件都可能不会发生的事上 to spend on something that may not even happen.
而且这对我们也会是好大的失望 And it's a hell of a lot of disappointment, for us,
如果她改主意的话 if she changes her mind.
那多棒 And that's perfect.
我们可以去实践我们相信的事 We get to live something that we actually believe.
对 Yeah.
亲爱的 Hey, baby, my baby, my baby.
-真乖 -奇迹啊 真乖 - Yes, good girl! - Miracle! Good girl!
给你 Here you are.
为什么总是我来收拾 Why is it always me that cleans up?
它是你的狗 'Cause. It's your dog.
-是我们的狗 -好吧 我们的狗 - It's our f-- it's our dog. - Okay, it's our dog,
-但是你的屎 -我们的屎 - but it's your shit. - It's our shit.
-不是我们的屎 -我们的屎 真乖 - It's not our shit. Aw... - Our shit. Good girl.
-好 -谢谢 亲爱的 - Okay. Okay. - Thank you, honey.
-请打开大门 -我可以开门 - Can you open the gate, please? - I can open the gate.
-非常感谢 -什么态度啊你 - Thank you so much. - Why do you have an attitude?
-我很感谢 -你没必要耍小脾气 - I really appreciate that... - You don't need to have an attitude.
我才没有 I don't have an attitude.
-我只是提出了个请求 -我觉得你 - I'm just asking very simply. - I feel like you got...
我手里拿着屎呢 Considering I've got shit in my hand,
-你最好别跟我... -那是你的狗 - I would not be talking to me... - It's your dog.
-说话那么冲 -你就该拿它的屎 - ...in an abrasive manner. - You can have shit in your hand.
-谢谢 -好吧 亲爱的 知道吗 - Thank you. - Okay, honey. You know what?
好吧 我去看《冰血暴》了 好吗 It's fine, I want to watch Fargo. Is that okay?
-你想看什么随你 -谢谢 - You can watch whatever you want. - Okay. Thank you.
拜托 你是四岁小孩吗 Oh, come on, are you-- are you-- are you, like, four years old?
欢迎 Welcome!
你俩都来了 Oh, both of you!
是三个人 老天 Three of you. Jesus Christ.
-看看你 -来吧 - Look at you. - Come in.
你赶在夏季暴雨前来了 You beat the rain. You know, a big summer storm is due.
-给我吧 -谢谢 - I got that. I got-- Oh! - Thanks.
-你没事吧 -抱歉 我一拿... - You okay? - Uh, yeah, sorry, I just grabbed it...
-谢谢 -你没事吧 - Yeah, thank you. - You okay?
霍马 坏狗狗 Homer! Bad dog!
你们的狗似乎被霍马吓到了 Your dog seems a little threatened by Homer.
它很能抢地盘 He can get very territorial.
没有地盘的抢地盘的狗 A territorial dog with no territory.
他把所有地方都当做自己的地盘 He makes everywhere his territory.
霍马 趴下 Homer! Hit the deck.
谢谢你们让我来 我喜欢你们的公寓 So, thanks for this, guys. I love your apartment.
-我真的很高兴能住下 -你要住下 - I'm-I'm really excited to stay. - Oh, you're staying?
-住在纽约吗 -当然了 - In-in-in New York? - Of course she is.
她要跟我们住 She's staying with us.
好啊 好 Cool. Great.
这样行吗 你们谈过吧 Is that okay? Have you guys discussed that?
-我们这就谈 -没 - We're discussing it right now. - No.
-实时谈 -没事的 - It's a live discussion. - It's okay.
这很好 就差几周了 是吧 It's great. And you're only a couple of weeks out, right?
-你随时要生了 -我还有八周 - You're gonna pop any day, huh? - I'm eight weeks out.
八周 Eight weeks. Eight weeks.
-好 -我们很高兴你能来 - Great. - We are happy to have you.
让我们很有参与感 It just makes us feel involved.
对 而且他一直在拼命为当爸做准备 Yeah. Andy has been preparing for parenthood like crazy.
我把托宾的书房变成了婴儿房 So I've, um, I've turned Tobin's study into a baby room,
漆成了半蓝半粉的 and I've painted it half blue, half pink, you know,
两边都照顾到 covering both bases...
我们绝不是想把我们的性别刻板印象施加给孩子 Not that we want to impose our gender stereotypes, God forbid.
我问你个问题 Let me ask you a question.
-好 问吧 -婴儿小考 准备好了吗 - Oh, great. Yup, go. - Baby quiz, you ready?
-婴儿小考 -对 - Baby quiz. - Yeah...
没错 你没听错 Yeah. That's true. You're hearing it right.
宝宝拉绿屎意味着什么 Yeah, so what does it mean when the baby's poo is green?
过 我不知道 Pass. I don't know.
过 什么叫"过" Pass? What do you mean, "Pass"?
-过 我不知道 -意味着宝宝病了 - Pass. I don't know. - Means the baby is sick.
我们还是到时看吧 Why don't we just find that out?
你想要到时... You want us to just find out...
-你没事吧 -天啊 - You all right? - Oh, my...
没事 我的房间在哪 Yeah. So where's my room?
这里就是 You're in it.
好啊 Sweet.
欢迎回家 亲爱的 Welcome home, dear.
这都几点了 去酒吧逍遥 What time do you call this? Gallivanting in some bar, huh,
我却在热灶台上忙活 while I'm slaving over a hot stove!
造型不错 Nice look.
这里热死了 It's so hot in here.
天啊 Oh, Jesus.
你好 Hello.
-你太美了 -谢谢 安迪 - You look fucking beautiful. - Thank you, Andy.
如果你把你的衣服 You know, if you want to just, uh, throw your-- sorry--
丢进袋子里 your-- throw your, th-throw your clothes in a bag,
我可以下次带上一起洗 I can include them in my next laundry run.
我为什么要那么做 Why would I do that?
因为很多人都那么做 Um, because a-a lot of people do that?
我为什么要把钱浪费在洗衣服上 Why would I waste money on a laundromat
我明明可以在浴室里洗衣服 when I can wash my clothes in the bath
然后在这里晾干 and then dry them here?
就是提一句 疯狂的点子 Just an idea. Crazy idea.
我做了咖喱虾 好久没做了 So I cooked a prawn bhuna. It's been a while,
但菜谱应该没错...吧 but I think I got the recipe right... ish.
你们没有椰奶 我就用了自来水 You didn't have any coconut milk, so I used tap water.
我也买不起虾 Oh, and I couldn't afford prawns,
就用了金枪鱼碎 饿了吗 so it's little tuna bits instead. You hungry?
我真不懂你们怎么 I just don't understand how you guys
每晚都去餐馆吃饭 can keep going out to restaurants, like, every night.
因为我们不会做饭 Because we can't cook, that's why.
-我经常给你做饭 -不 亲爱的 - I cook for you all the time... - No, no, honey, honey, honey.
你为我准备食物 但那不叫烹饪 You prepare food for me, that's what you do. We can't cook.
烹饪是门艺术 Cooking-- cooking is an art.
那是我们还没掌握的艺术 好吧 It's an art that we have yet to master. All right?
-行吗 -你们该学学 - Is that fair? - Well, you should learn. You should learn.
在家做饭很省钱的 You could save so much money by cooking at home.
这样太浪费了 没道理 This is a ridiculous, inexcusable waste.
-是啊 -你该上门家政课 - Yeah. - You should take a home economics course
学点基础知识 and learn the basics.
我要一个装满了的冰箱和冷冻库 Yeah, I want a full fridge and freezer,
还有写满美味营养餐点的菜谱册 and a roster of good, nourishing meals.
你们不能每晚带着哭闹的宝宝去餐馆 You can't take a screaming baby out to restaurants every night.
会惹别人生气的 You-- It pisses people off.
知道还有什么让人生气吗 孕妇喝酒 You know what else pisses people off? Pregnant women who drink.
-拜托 -红酒 怎么了 - Oh, come on... - Wine. What?
你开玩笑吗 Are you joking? Are you joking?
我为这个孩子放弃了一切 I have given up everything for this kid.
我不抽烟 大麻 不吃辣的东西 I don't smoke, I don't smoke weed, I don't have spicy food.
姑娘 来 Hey, girl. Come on.
你在哪呢 真乖 准备好了吗 Where are you? Good girl, you ready?
来吧 Come on.
你没事吧 You all right?
你在喘粗气吗 Are you panting?
怎么了 What's up, huh?
吉普: 我怀孕了
真乖 Good girl. Good girl.
我以为你说你的狗阉过了 卡拉 I thought you said your dog was neutered, Karla.
我真没听到你说什么 我以为你说"教育过" I honestly didn't hear you, I thought you said "tutored."
你的狗怎么教育过 In what way was your dog tutored?
他之前有行为问题 He had some behavioral issues,
就跟个狗语者上了些课 so he did some classes with a dog whisperer.
谢了 卡拉 Well, thanks, Karla.
他可能让我们的狗有永远的阴影了 He may have scarred our dog for life.
得了 别那么夸张 Oh, stop it. You're being dramatic.
给它服药 就没事了 亲爱的 You give her the pills, it goes away; it's fine, honey.
或许吧 但今天我休假 Maybe, but this is my day off.
我本该放松地在家吃早餐 I'm supposed to be having a leisurely breakfast,
但现在我要在家给狗堕胎了 and now I'm performing a home-abortion.
这都没道理 You know, it just doesn't make sense.
吉普怎么能塞得下你狗狗的老二 How could Kipper even accommodate your dog's penis?
怎么了 安迪 What? Andy.
-安迪 醒醒 -怎么了 - Andy, wake up. Wake up. - What? What? What? What? What?
有声音 听 Voices. Listen, there's voices.
-哪里 我都睡了 -我听到声音了 - Where? I'm asleep. - I hear voices.
-怎么 我在睡觉 -在客厅里 - What? I'm asleep. - In the living room.
-听 起来 -不 - Listen. Get up. - No.
-起来 -带吉普去 - Get up. - Take Kipper.
我不想去 I don't want to go.
抹在我皮肤上 It was smeared across my skin,
-画了张丑脸 -像《异形》吗 - with this ugly face... - Like, like Alien?
对 Like, yeah, like...
-像西格妮·韦弗吗 -对 - Like Sigourney Weaver? - Like Sigourney Weaver.
-我可喜欢她了 -是吗 - I like Sigourney Weaver. - You do?
-你看过《阿凡达》吗 -好久以前了 - Have you seen Avatar? - A long time ago.
该死 抱歉 我们吵醒你们了吗 Oh, shit. Sorry. Oh, my God, did we wake you?
-搞什么 卡拉 -这是谁 - What the hell, Karla? - Who is this?
如果我们太吵了那很抱歉 I'm so sorry if we were being loud.
这是...该死 你叫什么来着 This is, um-- fuck, what's your name?
-米克 -米克 - Mick. - Mick.
-他哪来的 -他住街头 - Where did he come from? - He's on the street.
我们今晚看电影回来时路过了他 We passed him on the way back from the movies tonight.
-不记得了 -是啊 - Don't remember that. - Exactly.
我就提出给他吃的 我们会这么做 So I offered him some food. It's a thing we do.
反正我这一阵有地方住 I've got a roof over my head for a while.
外面又冷 可以吗 It's cold out. Is that okay?
不 这不可以 No. It's not. It's not okay, frankly.
-为什么 -我理解的 - Why? - Do you know what, I-I get it.
如果我有这么好的地方 If I had a nice gaff like this,
我也不会随便放人进来 I wouldn't be letting random blokes in, either.
你该问一句 先问问我们 You should have just asked, run it by us first,
-但可以的 -不可以 - but it's-it's fine. It's... - It's not. You know what?
这不可以 我们忍受你住这里 It's not fine. We're putting up with you staying here.
那不代表你可以随便带人回来 That doesn't mean anyone you choose to bring home.
"忍受"我 "Putting up" with me?
我不知道你是这么想的 I didn't realize that was the way you looked at it.
-他不是那个意思 -是吗 - He doesn't mean it like that. - Don't I?
这样吧 Do you know what, lads,
你们看来有大问题要解决 you guys have some serious issues you need to work out,
我还是 so I'm just gonna...
不 米克 我住这里的话 No! No, Mick. While I'm staying here,
我的朋友就可以来这里 any friend of mine is welcome to come in
分享我的好运 所以你... and share my good fortune, so you just...
就待在这里 you just stay right here.
我其实是想去...厕所 I was actually just gonna go... toilet,
可以吗 if that's all right?
在右手边 It's on the right.
-好吧 抱歉 -他不是你的朋友 - Oh, okay, sorry. - He's not a friend of yours.
他是个陌生人 而这是我们的公寓 He's a stranger. And this is our apartment,
你是这里的客人 in which you are a guest,
这不代表你在街上随便遇到的人 and that doesn't extend to any random guy
也都可以来做客 you just meet on the street.
你就是这样吗 托宾 So that's how it is with you, Tobin?
同性恋 自由派 随和 All gay and liberal and laid-back
直到你真需要付出什么 until you actually have to give something up?
不是 不是这么回事 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what this is about.
而且我的性向跟这有什么关系 And what does my sexuality have to do with anything?
我觉得这是恐同 That sounds like homophobia to me.
任何人都会站我这边的 Anybody would be on my side on this.
安迪呢 你 安迪 你站他吗 Is Andy? Are you, Andy, on his side?
-我不想插手 -好啊 谢谢 - I am staying out of this, okay? - Oh, great, thank you.
多谢了 欢迎回来 Thank you for that. Welcome back.
谢谢 Thank you.
这是你带回来的第一个人吗 Is this the first guy you've brought home here?
-第一个英国人 -老天爷啊 - First British guy. - Oh, Jesus Christ,
我不知道我们在开庇护所 I didn't know we were running a shelter.
-你好刻板 -我才不刻板 - You are so uptight. - I'm not uptight!
这地方一股熏香味儿 This place stinks of incense!
地毯沾了咖喱虾 There's-there's prawn bhuna on the... on the carpet.
你摸的每个地方都有 It's everywhere you... touch!
你把我的起居室变成了贝多因营地 You've turned my living room into a... into a-a bedouin camp.
还逼我不得不给狗做堕胎 You've forced me into a dog abortion.
现在你又不顾怀孕抽大麻喝酒 And now you're smoking skunk and drinking while pregnant
可能还跟陌生人米克在我的沙发上做了爱 and having sex, probably, with Mick the stranger on my couch!
你说你给狗做了堕胎吗 Did you say you did a dog abortion?
你少插嘴 米克 你只是个来吃顿热饭的 Oh, stay out of this, Mick. You're just here for a hot meal.
知道吗 好吧 Do you know what, right?
知道吗 我懂的 Do you know what? I get it. Right?
但你该尝尝她做的食物 But you should try some of her food,
你还能学到点东西呢 'cause you might learn something.
谢了 米克 Thanks, Mick.
回见 See you soon.
知道吗 托宾 You know what? You know what, Tobin?
你真无聊得让人难以忍受 真的 You are an insufferable bore. You really are.
你说你对其他人感兴趣 You claim you're interested in other people
看你的纪录片什么的 with your documentaries,
但你生活中根本没有任何证据 but there is no evidence in your life whatsoever
表明你在乎自己之外的人 of you caring about anyone but yourself.
你读《纽约时报》 You read The New York Times,
你抱怨特朗普 但你完全不是真心的 and you bitch about Trump, but you mean none of it.
你并不对你的社区感兴趣 You're not interested in your community.
你只是喜欢有个社区 You just like the idea of it.
你是个...赶时髦的自由派 You're just a... y-you're a hipster liberal!
你又怎么为社区做贡献了 And you contribute to the community how?
靠依赖他人的慷慨吗 By living off the generosity of other people?
你又为其他人做什么 What do you do for other people?
你就是一人世界 You're a world of one!
去你的 Oh, fuck you!
都无法照顾你自己的孩子 Can't even take care of your own baby.
混蛋 Asshole.
卡拉 卡拉 Karla? Karla?!
卡拉 Karla?
卡拉 Karla?!
对不起我说了那些话 太蠢了 I'm sorry I said that. Such an idiotic thing to say.
-我很羞愧 -得了 托宾 没事的 - I'm ashamed. - Oh, fuck it, Tobin, it's fine.
我们不需要达成什么一致 We don't have to agree on anything.
我们的生活天差地别 Our lives are a world apart.
或许是吧 但我... That may be right, but I...
但我不该说那种话的 but I-I shouldn't have said that shit.
我们欢迎你 You're welcome here, you know?
就是... It's just...
这对我很难 it's hard for me.
你可能是对的 我这辈子并没做过什么贡献 You're probably right, i've never contributed much to anything.
在洛杉矶 我受够了金钱世界 In L.A., I just got so sick of the money and...
浪费和贫穷与痛苦并存 and the waste next to the poverty and the suffering
还有汽车污染 and-and the fucking cars puking out this shit.
我觉得如果我不改变生活方式 I thought if I don't... if I don't change the way I live,
我就是最大的伪君子 I'm gonna be the biggest hypocrite alive.
-这很可敬 -我本以为是 - Well, that's admirable. - Yeah, I thought it was.
"成为你想看到的改变" "Be the change you want to see" and all that.
但然后我意识到 没人看到我 But then I realized, no one is seeing this.
没人在乎 我又不发播客 No one gives a shit. I don't blog.
我没有孩子可给他们做榜样 I-I don't have kids to be an example to.
没人看到我 就像所有这些公园里的流浪汉 I'm invisible, like all these homeless people in the park.
你有贡献的 Well, you do contribute, you know?
你是个有趣的人 You're-you're-you're... interesting,
你有烦恼 and you're... and you're troubled
你很真诚 and you're-you're honest.
其实 我真的... You know, actually, I've really...
我很喜欢晚上回家能看到你 I've enjoyed coming home to see you in the evenings,
尽管其他种种 despite how it comes across, you know?
我不知道你会给我什么惊喜 I never know... what to expect with you.
这是好事 对我是好事 That's good. That's good for me.
事实上 我好害怕 The truth is, I'm terrified of this.
我不知道我是否准备好了 I don't know if I'm ready.
我好... I'm so...
混蛋 神经质 anal and-and neurotic.
我受不了家里来任何人 更别提个小宝宝了 I can barely stand anybody in my house, never mind a baby.
小宝宝 我说不好 A baby? I don't know, I don't know.
你最好打定主意 托宾 You better make up your mind, Tobin.
我们回家吧 Let's go home.
好吗 Yeah?
好吧 Fine.
她好强势 She's so tough
坚强 and-and-and resilient and...
她追随自己的感觉生活 But, you know, she lives how she feels.
那是因为她真心相信 Well, I think 'cause she genuinely believes it,
她不能以别的方式生活 and she couldn't live any other way.
那很大胆 你也希望孩子如此吧 That's ballsy, and that's what you want in a kid, isn't it?
是啊 希望孩子能继承这个 Yeah. Let's hope that part's in the genes.
-厨艺就算了 -天啊 千万别 - Mm, just not the cooking. - Jesus. No, not the cooking.
-好 -好 - All right. - All right.
跟米克做爱可能催产了 I think sex with Mick might have induced me.
什么 What?
真的 可能要提前来了 Seriously, I think it's gonna happen early.
-好 -好 我们走 - Okay, all right. - Okay. Let's go.
-好 -你没事吧 - All right. - Okay, are you all right?
-我知道该做什么 拿包 -好的 - I know what to do. Bag. - Okay, that's all right.
-好 -我拿包了 - Okay. - I got the bag.
-你有包吗 -我有 - Do you have a bag? Do you? - I have a bag, yeah.
-你有包 -我拿包 - You have a bag. Is it... - I'll get the bag.
-在哪 -你小心点 - Where is it? - You just look out here!
-好 -我们得穿点衣服 - Okay, okay. - We have to put some clothes on...
我上街再穿 I'll put it on when I get out on the street.
走吧 Come on.
我... I...
-好了 -叫辆车 - All right... - Get a cab.
-好 -叫辆车 - Okay. - Get-get a cab.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你没事吧 You okay?
好 All right.
-谢谢 -这边上 来 - Thank you. - You get on this side. Come on.
好 宫缩很频繁了 Okay, these contractions are right on top of each other.
这是打硬膜外麻醉的最后机会了 卡拉 This is your last chance for an epidural, Karla.
你确定不要我叫麻醉师来吗 Are you sure you don't want me to call the anesthesiologist?
不用 我们继续 No, I'm okay. Let's just keep going.
你当然吗 我不懂 就是药物而已 Are you sure? I don't get it. It's just medicine.
你用抗生素 You take antibiotics,
不是吗 你生病时 don't you, when you... when you're sick,
或是盘尼西林 头疼时吃阿司匹林 or penicillin, or aspirin when you get a headache?
-拜托 -因为我想体验它 - Come on. - Because I want to experience it!
我想感觉到 老天爷啊 I want to feel it! Fuck! Jesus fucking Christ!
我不想谈了 我就想这么做 I don't want to talk about it, I just want to do it!
好好好 All right, all right, all right, all right.
好 你行的 Okay. Okay. Okay, you got this.
扩张九厘米了 Nine centimeters dilated.
先生 你需要杯水吗 Sir, do you need a glass of water?
不用 我很好 我没事 No. No, no, I'm fine. I'm really good.
先生 请不要在我的接生房里晕倒 Sir, please do not faint in my delivery suite.
如果你觉得晕 请出去 好吗 If you feel woozy, step outside. Okay?
你们都是 Both of you, please.
我去喘口气吧 You know, maybe I w-- I'm, I'll get some air.
我去喘口气 你们行的 I'm-a get-- I'll get air. You guys got this.
嗯 我们行的 回见了 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got it, yeah, we'll see you later.
-好 -你也要走吗 - Okay. - Do you want to go, too?
不 我哪都不去 No. No. No. I'm not going anywhere.
该死 Oh, fuck!
托宾 停下 Tobin, stop.
好吧 抱歉 Okay, sorry.
-托宾 你还在喘气 -好吧 抱歉 - Tobin, you're still doing it. - Sorry, right...
-真的好烦人 -我不喘了 - It's really, really annoying. - Yeah, yeah. I'll stop.
-我需要专心 -好的 - I can't concentrate. - All right, okay, got it...
该死 Fuck.
托宾 把脑袋转过去 Tobin, just move your fucking head away!
好的 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
卡拉 你做得很棒 Good, Karla, you're doing so great.
很好 头出来了 Looking good. Okay, there's a head.
-你想看吗 -好 - Do you want to look at this? - Yeah.
好 卡拉 很棒 Okay, Karla, great. Great, great, great, great, great.
你可以的 你绝对可以的 You can do this, you can absolutely do this.
使劲用力 来 I want you to give me a big push, come on.
深呼吸 使劲用力 好吗 Take a deep breath and give me a good push, okay?
这就对了 继续 There you go, keep going,
继续 你可以的 keep going, keep going, you got it, you got it,
你可以的 you got it, you got it, you got it!
-很好 继续 -天啊 - Great, great, great. Keep going. - Oh, God!
很好 Okay, great! Great, great.
天啊 Oh, my God.
好样的 卡拉 Well done, Karla. Good job.
天啊 Oh, my God.
怎么样 Well?
女孩 Girl.
女孩 A girl? A girl?
太棒了 她好吗 Oh, that's fantastic. And she's good?
-她可美了 -五根手指 五根脚趾 - Oh, she's beautiful. - Five fingers, five toes,
-都很美 都很完美吗 -对对 - all beautiful, all perfect? - All that, all that, yeah.
天啊 真不敢相信 Oh, my goodness. I can't believe this is happening.
-天啊 -这是真的 - Oh, my God. Right. - This is happening.
我们是爸爸了 We're dads.
他们要监控她24小时 然后就能出院 They're just monitoring her for 24 hours and then she'll be out.
我们可以一起开始照顾她了 We can all start taking care of her.
-你好棒 -谢谢 - You were amazing. - Thank you.
真的好棒 Like... amazing.
安迪怎么样了 How's Andy?
我们给他输液了 他情况稳定 We're giving him liquids, you know. He's stable.
有趣 Funny.
我以为昏的会是你 I thought you'd be the fainter.
-我也以为 -但你没昏 - Yeah, so did I. - But you weren't.
你留下了 握着我的手 You stayed there and held my hand
还帮忙清理了血迹 剪了脐带 and helped clean up the blood and cut the cord.
感觉太棒了 看到她的脑袋出来 It was so amazing, seeing her head emerge, and...
我喜欢我是第一个看到她的男人 And I like that I was the first guy to see her.
我等不及抱抱她了 那什么感觉 I-I can't wait to hold her. What was it like?
好美妙 It was beautiful.
你能摘掉你的帽子吗 Can you take that hat off your head?
-你好滑稽 -抱歉 - You look ridiculous. - I'm sorry.
但那真的好美妙 But yeah, it was beautiful.
你看到她之后 So have you thought about reconsidering the whole thing,
想改主意吗 since seeing her?
怎么 你退缩了吗 Why, are you getting cold feet?
不 恰恰相反 No. No, the opposite.
我现在好想要她 我爱她了 I want it now. I love her now.
就这样 我无法想象你的感受 Just like that, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
我就是说 如果你改主意了 I'm just saying, if-if you've changed your mind,
我也完全能理解 that is... i-is, I totally get it.
我们很高兴能跟你走到这一步 We're just happy to, to get you here, you know?
嗯 Yeah. Well, um...
谢谢你的提议 that's nice of you to offer.
我... Yeah, I mean...
我是一人世界 你说对了 Mine is a world of one. You were right about that.
我是有问题 I do have issues.
我会抽大麻 跟我不认识的人上床 I will smoke skunk and sleep with guys I don't know.
我不知该如何拒绝别人 And I just don't know how to say no.
我一向如此 我遇到什么 就会听之任之 I never have. If something comes my way, I just let it happen.
我也喜欢到处走 让我觉得安全 And I love the road, I feel safe there, but...
但那不适合孩子 it's no place for a kid.
或许做妈妈能改变我 但是 And maybe being a mother will change me, but...
如果不能 我不能拿她冒险 I can't take that risk with her if it doesn't.
我这辈子一直很不负责 I've been irresponsible my whole life.
这是我做的第一件负责的事 This is the first responsible thing that I've done.
我受不了跟人相处 You know, I can't, I can't stand being around people
超过几天 但是 for more than a few days, but...
我这几周来 忘记了这点 I forgot about that for the last few weeks...
因为你们真是世界上最棒的人了 ...'cause you guys are the most amazing people in the world.
嗯 Yeah.
你们将成为世上最棒的家长 You guys are gonna be the best parents ever.
我们会努力的 Well... we'll try.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
行了 Stop.
天啊 My God...
我想给你讲个关于你妈的故事 I want to tell you a story about your mom.
我要现在趁你还不能还嘴时告诉你 And I'll tell you now, when you can't talk back,
你还不是自以为是的青少年 and you're not all... teenage and entitled,
以防你将来不能如愿 and in case you don't get to see her
经常见到她 as much as you want in life.
那就太可惜了 因为相信我 Which would be a shame, because, I am telling you now,
她真的好赞 she is fucking... awesome.
她怀你时特别坚强 She carried you like a trooper,
她毫不畏惧地生下了你 and she gave birth to you without one moment of fear.
我知道你会问我她为什么不在你身边 I know, um, you're gonna ask me about why-why she's not around.
很久以前 在有城市之前 A long time ago, before there were cities,
人类是经常四处游走的 human beings used to constantly move.
他们狩猎 收集 他们的生活很艰辛 They were hunter-gatherers, and their lives were tough,
有无尽的苦难 但他们也很自由 and-and relentless, but they were also kind of free.
你妈妈 Well, your mom is,
就像个狩猎收集者 is kind of like, like a hunter-gatherer,
但有点生错了时代 but a little bit born in the wrong time.
所以 她不能带上你 So, she can't take you with her,
因为这个社会是不会支持那么做的 because this society wouldn't support that.
所以你就可以跟我们待一阵 So you get to hang with us for a, for a while.
我们不是狩猎收集者 Now, we're not hunter-gatherers, by any means.
我们是资本主义者 We're capitalists.
我们在野外肯定无法生存 We wouldn't survive a second in the wild because...
因为那里没有餐馆或全食超市 there's no restaurants or Whole Foods,
或治疗师 或医院供你去治病 or therapists or hospitals for when you get sick
或是书让你读 电影可以看 or, um, books for you to read or movies for you to watch.
什么都没有 而我们喜欢那些东西 Nothing. And we like those things, right?
所以你跟我们过得挺开心的 是吧 So you stand to have a-a pretty good time with us, right?
我的书 My book.
我的书 爸爸 别看了 My book, Daddy, stop it.
-这是给她讲故事的时候 不是你 -抱歉 - Story time is for her, not you. - Sorry.
但真的很好看 是吧 琼恩 But it's so good, right, June?
-是啊 -是啊 我说什么来着 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What was I saying?
关于兹本注意者 About cattle pips.
是...资本主义者 About... about... about capitalists.
-对 -资本主义者 - Yes. About... - About capitalists.
-资本主义者 对 -不错啊 - Capitalists, yeah. - That's nice.
-我能吃冰淇淋吗 -行 - I get ice cream? - Yeah, you do.
有其他人给我们做冰淇淋 And other people make the ice cream for us,
这挺好 是吧 which is great, right?
-妈妈也喜欢冰淇淋 -是吗 - Mommy likes ice cream, too. - She does?
对 我们上次吃了两个冰淇淋 Yeah, last time, we got two ice creams.
她...妈妈给你买了两个冰淇淋吗 She gave you...? Mommy gave you two ice creams?
-对 -上次 两个 - Yeah. - Last time? Two?
给这么小的孩子 For such a young child?
-好吧 -好吧 - Okay. - Okay.
但冰淇淋挺好的 是吧 But ice cream's nice, right?
或许不该吃俩 Well, maybe not, maybe not two,
但冰淇淋挺好的 但不该吃俩 but ice cream is okay, just not two.
好多糖呢 Lot of sugar.
-好吧 我们睡觉吧 -好 - Okay, we're gonna go to sleep? - Yeah.
好 睡觉吧 All right, go to sleep.
闭眼睛 Eyes closed.
睡觉吧 Begin sleeping.
好了 闭眼睛吧 Okay, come on, close your eyes.
真乖 Good girl.