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翻 译 苏葵
它在商店里时看着好伤心 He looked so sad in the store,
但现在看起来有点生气 but now he just looks kind of pissed.
校 对 苏葵
时间轴 噃噃 纸袋0v0
我知道感情用事买个小动物不是好事 I know it's bad to emotionally impulse-buy a living creature,
-但我就... -对 我不鼓励这么做 - but I just-- - Yeah, I don't condone that.
后 期 渔夫
棉花
那些是无菌器材 所以麻烦你... Those are sterile, so if you could just not...
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
总 监 苏葵
狗 我应该去做个美甲 A dog. I should've just gotten a mani-pedi.
我找出了以前的笛子 Hey, I dug out my old flute.
我在练习一首歌 打算在合唱练习时表演 I'm working on a song for choir practice.
不会很好听 但反正... It's not gonna be great but, you know...
-乔尔 -我在 - Joel? - Yeah.
你不非得留下它 You know, you don't have to keep him.
但那样就太不道德了 But that'd be really terrible.
深呼吸 这与人品无关 Take a breath. It's not like a character judgment.
只是看上去现在不是你养宠物的最佳时机 You just seem like maybe it's not the right time, that's all.
如果你可以带它几天 If you could foster for a couple of days,
我给这小家伙 I'll work on finding a good home
找个好人家 怎么样 for this little guy. Okay?
好 我想...可以 Okay, I think... Yeah.
-谢谢 蒂芙尼 -客气 - Thank you, Tiffani. - Yeah, no doubt.
老天 它讨厌我 Oh god, he hates me.
不如你给它笑一个 Why don't you try smiling for the little guy?
不是这样苦笑 Well, not like that!
某 人 某 地 第一季 第五集
大厨餐馆
莎姆 Hey, Sammy!
-你好吗 -好 - Hey, how are you? - Good.
天哪 Jesus.
我能告诉你 作为搞科学的人 I can tell you, as a man of science,
气象学家就是一群草包 meteorologists are a bunch of ding-dongs.
弗雷德 我能问个问题吗 Fred, can I ask you somethin'?
当然 Sure.
你会感觉被人看不起吗 You ever feel judged?
还真有 In fact, I do,
但现在我们没时间理会那些 but we don't have that kind of time right now.
怎么问这个 Why do you ask?
-我不想让你无聊 -说来听听 - I don't wanna bore you. - Ah, bore me.
只是 我的... It's just, my...
我姐姐和她朋友整天信仰和家庭 My sister and her friends are all like faith and family
信仰和家庭 信仰和家庭 and faith and family and faith and family,
而且她们非常看不上我的生活 知道吗 and they're so judgmental about my life, right?
但我姐姐竟然自己骗自己 But my sister has actually convinced herself
说她只跟丈夫瑞克上过床 that she's only ever slept with her husband, Rick.
但据我所知 她至少漏算了十二个人 But by my count, she is skipping over at least a dozen names.
-但真正劲爆的是 -是什么 - But the real kicker - Yeah?
跟她一起整天信仰和家庭的闺蜜切芮蒂 is that her faith and family best friend Charity
跟我姐姐的丈夫上床了 is sucking my sister's husband's dick.
你听明白了吗 Are you following?
明白了 这一点不无聊 I follow. And this is not boring.
但问题是 如果我告诉了她 But the problem is, like, if I tell her,
那我就成了破坏她婚姻的千古罪人 then I'm the asshole that broke up her marriage, right?
如果我不告诉她 那我也赢不了 对吧 And if I don't say anything, I mean... I can't win, right?
她是个贱人 She is a bitch,
但她也是我姐姐 but she's also my sister.
真是他妈的 Just fuck.
莎姆 你得告诉她 Sam, you gotta tell her.
是啊 Yeah...
如果是你 你会想知道吗 Would you wanna know if it was you?
会 Yes.
知道吗 You know what?
不如你吃点这个 增添力量吧 Why don't you try this for strength?
你是刚从裤子里拿出来的吗 You just pulled that out of your pants?
别担心 Don't worry about it.
椒盐卷饼热狗吗 A Pretzel Schmetzel dog?
你知道这玩意整天躺在柜台里 You know that these just lay around on the counter all day
所属的温度还很容易腐坏 in the temperature danger zone.
你说的有道理 但我想告诉你 Alright, you have a good point, but I wanna tell you
这些不受食物科学的法则限制 these defy the laws of food science.
有时 你得为了好吃而冒险 And sometimes, you gotta roll the dice for flavor.
吃吧 Go ahead!
我知道闻起来有点怪味 I know it smells a little funny,
-但肯定会让你感觉良好 -不 - but it's gonna make you feel great. - No.
-闻着好香 -那好 赶紧吃 - It smells delicious. - Alright, well, get in there.
我现在才不要把这东西塞进嘴里 I'm not putting this in my mouth right now.
就像你朋友的姐姐或是姐姐的朋友 Just like your friend's sister or your sister's friend.
我其实没太听明白 要素过多 I wasn't totally following. There's just so much going on.
谢谢你听我唠叨 弗雷德 Thanks for listening, Fred.
其实我也别无选择 I really didn't have a choice.
好了 来吧来吧 Okay, okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on.
我们可以的 我们只需要回到家 We can do this. We just gotta get home.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know, I know.
不不不 No, no, no, no, no.
我知道这表情 拜托你别再座位上拉了 I know that face. Please don't do it on the seat again
因为上次用了好多纸巾 'cause that took so many paper towels.
你能憋住 等我们到家吗 Can't you just hold it until we get home?
龙卷风就要来了 It's a freaking tornado watch.
好吧 是什么 要尿尿还是粑粑 Okay, what is it, teetee or papaw?
抱歉我迟到了 我本打算发信息的 后来没发 Sorry, I'm late. I was gonna text, and then I didn't.
没事 我已经干了很多活 Oh, no, no worries. I've actually gotten a ton done.
而且我这不是消极攻击法 I'm not even saying that passive-aggressively either.
最近一直顺风顺水 我修好了收割机的漏水 Been on a roll. I fixed that leak on the combine.
对 Yup!
现在我想把这里收拾干净 And now, I'm just getting all this cleared out.
那个什么在哪 So, where there's--
行吧 老妈 Alright, Mom.
更多藏着的宝贝 More hidden treasures.
-我们都可以开酒吧了 对吧 -是啊 - We could open a bar, huh? - I know, right?
也许在老妈回来前 我们应该来个 You know, we should probably do a clean sweep of the house
彻底的大扫除 before she gets back.
好主意 Yeah, good idea.
我觉得疯狂购物日很不错 I thought Crazy Dayz was pretty cool.
-我觉得你办得很成功 -谢了 - I-I thought you did a really good job. - Thanks.
瑞克还帮了不少忙 You know, Rick was actually really helpful, which...
我一直对他不太好 我该更温柔点 I've not been very nice to him. Have to be nicer.
-真的 -不 你不用 你对他太好了 - Honestly. - No, you don't. You're too nice to that guy.
我从没想过自己能 That's something I literally never thought
听你说这句话 I'd hear you say.
怎么 出什么事了 What? What's wrong?
等等 Hold on.
是珊侬 Oh, it's Shannon.
-老天 -你还好吗 我去关门 - God. - Are you okay? I'll close the door.
关门 把门关上 Shut the door! Just shut the doors!
好了 来吧 Okay. Go ahead.
你能赶紧解决内急吗 Can you hurry up your business?
你能赶紧的吗 因为... Can you do it quick because...
如果这地方不好 Okay, if that spot doesn't work,
那这里呢 how about this one?
在这里尿尿 这是个好地方 对吧 Make a teetee here. This is a good spot right here, huh?
快点 赶紧尿 Go ahead. Make your teetees...
...在那边吗 ...over there?
等等 狗子 回来 回来 狗子 Wait, dog! No, come back! Come back, dog!
好 珊侬 好 我不说了 你告诉她 Alright, Shannon. Okay, I'll let you go. Just let her know
任何时候都可以给我打电话 好吗 that she can call me anytime she wants to, okay?
好 爱你 拜 Alright. Okay, love you. Alright.
珊侬在她朋友家的地下室很安全 Okay. Well, so Shannon's safe in her friend's basement.
爸在做复健 Dad's at his PT.
不过瑞克不接电话 Rick is not answering his calls though.
你怎么表现这么奇怪 Why are you being so weird?
你害怕吗 Are you scared? I mean,
你知道这个龙卷风不会击倒这个谷仓 you know this tornado is not gonna hit this barn.
几乎不可能... The odds are, like...
不是 No.
-怎么了 -瑞克出轨了 - What? - Rick is cheating on you.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
瑞克出轨了 Rick is cheating on you.
见鬼 见鬼 Shit! Shit! Shit!
该死的狗 Fucking dog!
真的跑进了一场风暴 Literally running around in a hailstorm!
妈的 Fuck.
狗子 我来救你了 Dog! I'm coming for you!
我来了 I'm coming!
狗子 Dog!
你知道他不爱说话 对吧 You know he's not very talkative, right?
所以每次我闲聊 或问他什么的 So any time I would try to, like, kinda ask or whatever,
都得不到回答 然后 I wasn't getting anywhere. So then,
我觉得稍微跟踪他一会 I decided to stalk him just a little bit--
莎姆 这跟他出轨有什么关系 Sam, what does any of this have to do with cheating?
那我往前跳一下 Okay, let me skip ahead.
那天我在爸妈家 我看了他的夹克 I was at Mom and Dad's house. I looked in his jacket,
发现了两部手机 我就想 I found these two cell phones. I'm like,
-他到底在干什么勾当 -莎曼莎 - what the fuck is he doing? - Samantha!
翠西娅 Tricia...
我看见了 I saw stuff.
-看见了 -不是做爱 - Stuff? - I mean, not sex,
但我看见了 but stuff.
-你确定吗 -我希望不是真的 - And you're sure? - Oh, I wish I wasn't.
我真是傻子 Well, I'm an idiot.
你不是 You're not.
是谁 Who is it?
我们已经...我已经告诉了你太多信息 We've already... I've given you a lot to process.
我想或许这个可以留着下次说 I think maybe we should just save that for another time.
是谁 Who is it?
是切芮蒂 It's Charity.
真遗憾 I'm sorry.
天哪 莎... Oh my god, Sa--
你知道我看到你吐 我也会吐 You know I can't not throw up if I see you throw up!
但我根本没吐 But I didn't even throw up!
天哪 你吃了什么 Oh my god, what did you eat?
椒盐卷饼热狗 Oh, one of those Pretzel Schmetzel fucking dogs...
弗雷德·洛可可说冒个险 Fred Rococo said roll the dice.
找到你了 Oh, I gotcha!
找到你了 找到你了 I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha.
好吗 Okay?
那不太好 Oh, that's not good.
我们来这边 这是什么 Let's go here. What's this thing?
我们没事 我们没事 We're okay. We're okay.
好吗 我们没事 You okay? We're okay.
天哪 这里还有其他东西 Oh my god, there's something else in here.
卧槽 卧槽 Oh, fuck me. Oh, fuck me.
卧槽 Fuck me.
我不能再染上狂犬病了 I cannot get rabies again.
只是老鼠 只是老鼠 It's just a mouse. It's just a mouse.
我们没事 We're okay.
我们完球了 但没事 I mean, we're fucked, but we're okay.
你心里肯定有部分在偷着乐 Part of you must just be loving this right now.
-什么 没有 -这件事 - What? No. - This is, like,
对你来说肯定特别可笑 so hilarious to you.
我的生活支离破碎 这次倒霉的竟然是我 My whole life falling apart. It being me this time.
什么叫这次 什么 What do you mean you this time? What--
-你为什么这样对我 -我什么也没做 - Why are you doing this to me? - I'm not doing anything!
-你真的这么恨我吗 是吗 -翠西娅 我不 - I mean, you really just hate me this much, don't you? - Tricia, I don't--
-你就有 -我不恨你 - You do! - I don't hate you!
那你怎么不好好过自己的日子 Then how come you've nothing better to do with your life
-却来插手... -天地良心 - than to insert it into-- - Oh, Jesus Christ!
你看到什么了 你看到他的老二了吗 What stuff did you see? Did you see his stupid dick?
老天 没有 恶心 Oh, god, no, gross!
你还跟谁说了 Who else have you told?
我还能跟谁说 你是我姐姐 Who am I gonna tell? You're my sister.
我本来都不打算告诉你 Like, I-I wasn't even going to tell you!
-也许你不该说 -也许我就不该说 是吧 - Well, maybe you shouldn't have! - Maybe I shouldn't have, right?
也许我该让他 Maybe I should let him keep on
继续背着你乱搞 这样更好吗 fucking around behind your back! Would that be better?
老天 Oh god...
我早该知道的 I mean, I should've known.
来点这个 Try this.
天哪 老妈 God! Mom...
这伏特加太恶心了 This vodka is so gross.
天哪 真好 Oh god. Well, that's wonderful.
我觉得这酒把我小舌的肌肉都烧没了 I think it just burnt the flesh off my uvula.
我的内脏在腐烂 My insides are rotting.
没事 冷静 冷静 就这样 It's okay. Calm down. Calm down. There we go.
好吧 我打算吃点东西 Okay. I'm just gonna eat a little something
因为我有点头晕 'cause I'm a little light-headed.
我有时会忘记吃东西 I forget to eat sometimes.
这里面有巧克力 我觉得你不能吃 This has chocolate. I don't think you can eat that.
还是说猫不能吃 Or is that cats?
如果我们活下来我就去问问蒂芙尼 I'm gonna ask Tiffani. If we live.
开玩笑的 我们肯定能活下来 没事的 Just kidding, we're totally gonna... We're gonna be fine.
你尿尿或拉粑粑了吗 Did you ever make teetee or papaw?
肯定拉过了 对吧 You must have, right?
我想让你知道 我没有生你的气 好吗 Hey, I want you to know, I'm not mad at you, alright?
我知道你只是害怕 雷电让人害怕 I know you were just scared. Thunder's scary.
我也很害怕 I'm scared a lot, too.
你感受到了吗 You feel that?
天哪 气压变化了 我起鸡皮疙瘩了 God, the air pressure just changed. Got goose-pimples.
好了 Okay. Alright.
没事 你没事 It's okay. You're okay.
好 Okay.
宝贝 迈克 迈克 亲爱的宝贝 Hey, babe. Or Michael. Michael. Hi, hon. Babe.
听着 Listen,
我希望你的比赛一切顺利 I hope your tournament is going well.
很抱歉这里风声很大 但是 I'm sorry it's really loud here, but
这里来龙卷风了 it's a tornado,
然后我在一个水管里面 没事 and I'm in a little tube thing. It's okay.
总之我想让你知道 Anyway, I just wanted you to know that,
我其实想要孩子 I actually do want kids.
想要房子和全营养料理机 And, and a house and a, a Vitamix
还有戴森 以及婚姻 and a Dyson and marriage.
我就是想要 I just do.
我爱你 I love you.
我知道我已经跟你说过这话 And I know I told you this already,
但全营养料理机加热后 but it's, it's the Vitamix that heats up,
你就可以做汤了 好了 so you can make soup. Okay.
这不是求婚 This isn't a proposal!
我想我们没事了 对吧 Okay. I think we're okay, aren't we?
罗杰 Roger?
这是你的名字吗 罗杰 你喜欢吗 Is that your name? Roger? Do you like that name?
我也喜欢 罗杰 I like it, too. Roger.
-就是这首 -凯凯凯蒂 - That's it! - K-K-Katie!
*美丽的凯蒂* *Beautiful Katie*
*你是我唯一崇拜的女女女孩* *You're the only g-g-girl that I adore*
*无论月光何时照在牛棚上* *Whenever the moon shines over the cow shed*
*我会在厨厨厨房门口等待* *I'll be waiting at the k-k-kitchen door*
天哪 妈的经典歌谣 Oh my god. Classic Mom.
太烂了 So bad...
你还记得 Do you remember...
你还记得霍莉站在那边 Do you remember when Holly was over there,
唱着《感伤之旅》 singing "Sentimental Journey,"
然后开始尿裤子了吗 and she started pissing herself?
你笑得太开心了 她就一直唱 You were laughing so hard that she just kept singing,
-一直尿裤子 -记得 - and kept pissing herself? - Yeah!
太搞笑了 Oh, that's terrible.
我好想她 Wow, I really miss her.
嗯 Yeah.
你... You...
你还戴着她的项链 对吧 You still wear her necklace, huh?
对 每天都戴 Yep. Every day.
天哪 Oh my god!
怎么了 What?
我才意识到 I just realized...
难怪他最近开始健身了 this is why he's been working out.
恶心 Oh, gross!
这太丢人了 This is so frickin' embarrassing!
-有人来了 -莎姆 压到我头发了 - Someone's here... - Sam! That's my hair--
你好 Hello?
这是我的狗子 罗杰 This is my dog, Roger.
-你好罗杰 -你好罗杰 - Hey, Roger! - Hey, Roger.
我弄疼你了吗 Did I hurt you?
快点快点 接电话 畜生 Come on, come on. Pick up, you motherfucker.
等等 So wait,
瑞克是个出轨的毒贩子吗 Rick is a drug-dealing adulterer?
只是出轨 我觉得毒贩这个想法 Just an adulterer. I think the drug-dealing part
可能有点不准确 might not have been accurate.
等等 那一大捆现金是怎么回事 But wait, what about the big wad of cash?
我觉得他在节省自己的零花钱 I think he just saved up his allowance,
这样去开房时就不用信用卡了 so he didn't have to use their credit card at the motel
去那个的时候 for the -- Yeah...
-弥天大谎啊 -对 - What a web of lies. - Yep.
你俩喝酒了吗 You ladies been drinkin'?
别担心 Don't worry about it.
糟了 Oh no!
圆顶小屋没了 The cupola's gone!
-爸肯定会难过 -他不接电话 - Dad's gonna be so sad. - He's not answering his phone!
她也不接电话 She's not answering her phone!
他没在工作 她也不在店里 He's not at work! She's not at the store!
他们在一起 They're together!
如果他们在一起 那可选择的地方不多 Well if they are, they don't have many options.
走 我们去抓奸 Here! Let's rock-and-roll!
可以开我的车 We can take my car.
我觉得这样最好 I think that's best.
-你没醉吧 -没有 - You're not drunk, are you? - No!
-那就好 -我为生活而陶醉 - Alright, good. - I'm high on life.
我因为人母而陶醉 I'm high on being a mother!
我们为什么停在这里 他们的车不在 Wh-why are we parking here? Their cars aren't here.
我从不认识我爸 I never knew my daddy.
但我妈说他总是把车停在后门 But Mom said he always parked around back.
聪明 Smart.
她要去哪 罗杰 Where's she going, Roger?
她要去了 对吧 Well, she's doing it, isn't she?
-她去了 -我看起来有点奇怪 - Oh, there she goes. - I look a little wild.
我的发型 你觉得呢 Like, physically, do you think?
对 我本来不打算说的 Yeah. I wasn't gonna say anything,
但没错... but yeah...
我在龙卷风过境时困在了一个 Well, I was stuck in one of those drainage pipe things
-水管里面 -天哪 - during a tornado. - Oh my god!
抱歉我的形象有点不佳 I'm sorry if I got a little messy!
1987年得州18个月大的杰茜卡·麦克卢尔 被困在枯井中58小时后获救
像杰茜卡宝宝那样吗 Like the little baby Jessica?
-不是 我记得她那是井 对吧 -该死 - No, I think she was in a well, right? - Oh shit.
-搞错了 罗杰 -但我们挺过来了 - Whoopsies, Roger. - But we made it,
是吧 我们活下来了 对吧罗杰 didn't we? We survived, huh, Roger?
我们战胜了风暴 We weathered that fucking storm.
但你可能死 罗杰 你可能死 But you could have died, Roger! You could have died!
他们在这里 他们就在这里 They're here! They're fucking here!
-见鬼 -真的吗 - Oh shit. - Really?
好吧 她把上衣脱了 Okay, and she's taking off her shirt.
糟糕的选择 Wow, that's a bold choice.
拿了一块浴巾 Oh, got a towel,
像卡通里的恶棍那样走来走去 walking around like she's a burglar in a cartoon.
-她在交朋友 -你好吗 - She's making friends. - How's it going?
-挺好 你呢 -她在跟那位先生说话 - Fine, how are you? - She's talking to a gentleman.
你有那种万能钥匙吗 Do you have one of those universal key thingies...
-我们该做点什么吗 -我被锁在外面了 - Should we do something? - ...I got locked out!
我们用实体钥匙 We use real keys...
关于黛布牧师 Hey, about Pastor Deb.
我的丈夫把自己的老二塞进了... My goddamn husband got his dick stuck...
-我知道你难过 但... -我闺蜜的体内 - I know you feel bad, but... - ...with my best friend...
我很高兴你撒谎了 I'm glad you lied.
-关于合唱练习 -他们就在这里 在隔壁 - About choir practice. - They're right here. They're right next door.
我知道 但我不知道... I know, but I don't know...
只想告诉你一声 Just for your information.
-我不能... -把钥匙给我 - Hey. I can't-- - Give me the keys!
-我们得进去了 -对 现在立刻马上 - Okay, we need to go in there. - Yes, immediately, right now.
去他妈的冰 把钥匙给我 韦伯 Fuck this ice. I want those keys, Weber.
-那些是我的钥匙 你不能... -钥匙给我 - They're my keys. You're not gonna-- Hey! - Gimme the keys!
-韦伯 钥匙给我 -这是我的工作 我不... - Weber, gimme the keys! - This is my job! I'm not gonna--
翠西娅 Tricia!
这样吧 Okay, I'll tell you what.
-50块 我告诉你房间号 -嗯 - For $50, I'll tell you the room number. - Yeah.
-100块 我给你钥匙 -成交 - For $100, I'll give you the key. - Done.
-莎姆 给他钱 -乔尔 给他钱 - Sam, pay the guy. - Joel, pay the guy.
-你的支付宝是多少 -我的什么宝 - What's your Venmo? - My what?
老天 Oh, for God's sake.
我猜还用上现金了 I guess we're just doing cash now?
-翠西娅 你确定吗 -嗯 - Tricia, are you sure? - Yep.
-妈的 -搞什么 瑞克 - Oh fuck! - What the heck, Rick!?
给你两小时回家收拾破烂 You have two hours to get home and get your crap,
等我回家时你最好已经滚蛋了 and you better not be there when I get back!
-你听到没 -我... - Do you hear me? - I...
-她在哪 -谁 - Where is she? - Who?
你知道是谁 You fucking know who!
我猜猜 你在这里 Well, I guess, um, you're here--
你个猪头 You fuckin' idiot.
你想回去吃点冰淇淋吗 Y-you wanna stop and get some ice cream?
你想让我去后座陪你坐坐吗 You want me to come and sit with you back there...
-不用 -好吧 - No. - Okay.
停车停车 快看 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Look, look.
-怎么了 -看 - What? - Look!
天哪 Oh shit!
看着不错 看着没坏 It looks pretty good. It looks pretty good!
天哪 能装下 Oh my god, it fits!
她还好吗 Is she okay?
他妈的 Fuck!
嗯 她会没事的 Yeah, she'll be fine.
该死的安全带 Fucking seatbelt.
欢迎光临 我们开业且很棒
皇后A 皇后B[蜜蜂]
莎姆 Sam!
今天也太疯狂了 How crazy was that?
是啊 I know!
-天哪 真不敢相信有这种破事 -老天 - Oh my god, I couldn't believe that shit. - God.
-你在干什么 -躺着 该死 毯子掉了 - What are you up to? - Chillaxing. Oh fuck, I lost my blanket.