《生活大爆炸》前情提要 Previously on The Big Bang Theory.
爸爸 这是谢尔顿的母亲 玛丽 Dad, this is Sheldon's mother, Mary.
你好 How do you do?
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
当然 还有我妈 And, of course, Mom.
你好 可憎的悍妇 Hello, my hateful shrew.
你也好 皱巴巴的老王八蛋 Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard.
我收到了美国空军发来的电邮 Hey, I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.
我就怕万一我回复了 I'm just afraid if I respond,
他们就知道我的项目成功了 then they'll know I got it.
伙计 Oh, dude.
你点开邮件的那一刻 The minute you opened that e-mail,
他们就知道你成功了 they knew you got it.
没准他们现在就通过 I mean, they're probably looking at you
电脑的摄像头监视你呢 through the camera right now.
天啊 Oh, God.
好像有人跟踪我们 I think someone's following us.
在这左转 看他们会不会跟着转 Uh, turn left here and see if he turns with us.
他为什么在这转弯 饭店在另一边 Why is he turning here? The restaurant's the other way.
不知道 他有用一款路况软件 I don't know. He uses that traffic app.
可能前头出车祸了吧 Maybe there's an accident.
那跟他走吧 Oh, so follow him.
不好 Oh, no!
莱纳德 希望你别介意 Leonard, if you don't mind,
我有些累了 I think I'm a little tired.
今晚就到这里吧 I'm gonna call it a night.
当然不介意 爸爸 Sure, Dad.
我也有些累坏了 I'm a little tuckered out myself.
各位明早见 Well, I will see you all in the morning.
愿意跟我一起打车吗 Would you like to share a cab?
当然好 That would be fine.
-你在哪住 -威斯汀酒店 - Where are you staying? - I'm at the Westin.
我也是 Well, so am I.
能请你喝杯睡前酒吗 Could I interest you in a nightcap?
当然可以 I think that you could.
时至今日
莱纳德 Leonard?
干嘛 What?
你意识到我们有可能会成为"兄弟"吗 You realize you and I could become brothers.
我们才不会变成兄弟 We're not gonna be brothers.
我们也不会成为继兄弟 We're not gonna be stepbrothers.
快睡吧 Go to sleep.
希望你是对的 I hope you're right.
因为一个老大不小的爷们跟他的兄弟 'Cause a grown man living with his brother
还有兄弟的老婆一起住太奇怪了 and his brother's wife is weird.
快睡觉 Go to sleep.
好吧 Okay.
你觉得你父亲正在对我妈做 Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things
"不可描述的事情"吗 to my mother?
不 No.
你这么说是因为 Are you saying that
这件事"不可描述"吗 because the things are unspeakable?
你们的父母都老了 Your parents are old.
任何"不可描述"的事情九点半前就搞完了 Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.
快去睡啦 Go to sleep.
好吧 Very well.
如果因为这事把婚礼搞尴尬了 我很抱歉 I'm sorry if this stuff is gonna make the ceremony awkward.
我还以为我刚出狱的哥哥 God, I thought my brother fresh out of jail
会搞得大家都不自在呢 was gonna make everyone uncomfortable,
结果闹出这出... but now this...
你们想让我睡觉 Hey, if you want me to sleep
就得闭上嘴巴啊 you're gonna have to stop talking.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
生
活
大
爆
炸
第十季 第一集
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 201609
我要去接我家人了 Okay, I'm gonna go pick up my family.
估计要一个半到两小时 看堵不堵 Like an hour and half, two hours, depending on traffic.
小心开车 Yeah, drive safe.
记得千万别哪壶不开提哪壶 Oh, hey, and do yourself a favor, all right?
贝弗莉来的时候 千万别提昨晚那事 When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night.
可以吗 你们要表现得 All right? As far as you're concerned,
啥都不知道 you don't know anything,
啥都没看到 you didn't see anything.
反正就是装成傻逼就行了 I want you just to play dumb.
她人真好 还亲自示范怎么装傻逼 It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example.
什么 What?
你好啊 我... 抱歉 我有事先走了 Hi. Okay, hey there, I got-- I'm sorry, I got to go now.
-佩妮 留步 -为什么 - Penny, wait. - Why?
我想感谢你为了我大费周章 I wanted to thank you for going through all the trouble
策划了第二次结婚典礼 of planning a second wedding ceremony for me,
但很遗憾 我不克参加 but unfortunately I cannot attend.
为什么 怎么了 Well, why? What's wrong?
我... 我们还要来装傻这招吗 Wha-- are we still doing the dumb thing?
好吧 为什么 怎么了 Okay, why, what's wrong?
这里我是待不下了 I just cannot stay here
你父亲摆明了就是要羞辱我 while your father goes out of his way to humiliate me.
天啊 他怎么羞辱你了 Oh, golly, however did he humiliate you?
少来了 谢尔顿 Stop it, Sheldon.
我是接"少来什么" 还是该停止装傻了 Do I say "stop what?" or just throw in the towel?
我想不到我为什么要留下看你父亲 I don't see why I should have to watch your father
拉着一个土掉渣圣经狂招摇过市 parade around with some Bible-thumping bumpkin.
喂喂喂 你刚才说的人可是我母亲 Oh, excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about,
虽然描述十分正确 however accurately.
贝弗莉 Okay, Beverly,
你是不是有点反应过度了 aren't you overreacting a little?
他们只是一起打车并喝了杯睡前酒嘛 All we know is they shared a cab and had a nightcap.
还把手机关机了 And turned their phones off.
越帮越忙啊 兄弟 Not helping, buddy.
母亲 我跟佩妮真的很希望您能出席 Mother, Penny and I really want you to be part of this.
请留下吧 Please stay.
而且你要是走了 Yeah, plus if you leave,
阿尔弗雷德就知道他成功激怒你了 Alfred will know he got under your skin.
的确不能这么满足他 Well, we can't have that.
而且 如果他们真的交媾了 You know, also, if they did have coitus,
我们都需要个厉害的心理医生开导 we'll all be needing a skilled psychiatrist.
其实回想起来还挺搞笑的 It is funny when you think about it.
或许你觉得好笑 Maybe to you.
五百块的罚单又不是你付钱 You didn't get a $500 traffic ticket.
那是因为你像个疯子一样乱飙车 Because you were driving like a lunatic.
如果觉得有政府秘密特务 Hey, if thinking secret government agents
在后面追你 你就成了疯子... are chasing you makes you a lunatic, then...
那我认了 yeah, okay.
我去开吧 Oh, I'll get it.
警察把你拦下来的时候 It didn't help that you couldn't walk a straight line
你走不了直线 也只能怪自己啊 when the cop pulled you over.
我有表现焦虑症啊 I have performance anxiety.
你应该最懂越要我"表现"我越焦虑啊 You of all people should know that.
您好 Hello.
我来找霍华德·沃罗威茨 I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.
霍华德·沃罗威茨咩 Howard Wolowitz?
我没找错地址吧 I have the right address, don't I?
地址啥 Address?
他在吗 Is he here?
不在 Um... no.
你知道我上哪可以找到他吗 Do you know where I can find him?
我能问一下你找他有什么事吗 May I ask what this is about?
不能问 No, you may not.
是的官爷 Very well.
让他打电话给我 Have him call me.
好的 Okay.
拉杰 谁在门口 Raj, who's at the door?
不是他本人啦 That's not him.
真想立刻让你们跟大家见面 Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone.
我早就跟他们提过你们啦 I told them all about you.
提了什么 Like what?
他们知道你哥哥的事吗 Do they know about your brother?
我也没全说啊 就说了坐牢和毒品的部分 Uh, not everything, just, like, the jail and drugs part.
-你干嘛要说那些呢 -怎么了 - Why would you do that? - What?
家丑不可外扬好吗 The world doesn't need to know our problems.
好啦 妈 对不起嘛 Well, Mom, I'm sorry, but...
瞧瞧 这里也有那家连锁药店耶 Hey, look, they got Walgreens here, too.
你真的觉得蠢话有助于换话题吗 怀亚特 You really think it's helpful to change the subject, Wyatt?
我只想让大家路上保持愉悦的心情 亲爱的 Just trying to make this a happy trip, dear.
省省吧 Well, quit it!
兰德尔 真不敢相信这么多年后 So, uh, Randall, can't believe after all these years
你终于能来加州看我 you finally get to visit me in California.
幸好我是非暴力罪犯 Well, good thing I was a nonviolent offender,
否则我连老家都出不了 otherwise I couldn't have left the state.
行啦 蹲大牢的话题到此为止 All right, that's enough jail talk.
佩妮知道我在哪儿蹲 她还给我寄过香烟呢 Penny knows where I was; she sent me cigarettes.
你居然给你哥哥寄烟吗 You sent your brother cigarettes?
苏珊 他制毒和贩毒呢 He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan,
抽烟这种小儿科就别计较了 I think we can let the cigarettes slide.
少给我装什么酷老爹 Stop trying to be the cool dad;
你都穿印着咱们家猫的白痴T恤了 you have a shirt with our cat's picture on it.
总之人都在这儿了 宝贝闺女 Anyway, we're here, slugger.
这下好了 现在他们都知道我住哪儿了 That's great, now they know where I live.
你在胡说什么 What are you talking about?
他们一直都知道你住哪儿 They've always known where you live.
是啊 如果你想玩失踪 Yeah, if you want to go off the grid,
你得先搬出你妈的房子 you have to move out of your mother's house.
我们能不能花点时间讨论下 Can we take a moment to discuss
我为了你骗了政府这件事 that I just lied to the government for you?
是啊 Yeah.
我肯定不会为你这么做 I would not have done that for you.
霍华德 你就打给他 看看他想干嘛 Howard, please just call the man, see what he wants.
好吧 好吧 All right, all right.
你一定要告诉他 Hey, make sure you tell him that
他来的时候你不在家 you weren't home when he came by
你前脚一踏进家门 and that your Indian friend gave you the message
你的印度友人后脚就转告你了 the moment you stepped through the door.
你好 Yes, hello.
我是霍华德·沃罗威茨 Uh, this is Howard Wolowitz
找理查德·威廉姆斯上校 for Colonel Richard Williams.
我改变主意了 千万别提我 Oh, I take it back, don't mention me.
威廉姆斯上校 有什么需要我效劳的吗 Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you?
什么 是的 他是印度人 What? Oh, uh, yes, he is from India.
不 我不知道他的签证情况 No, I don't know his immigration status.
安啦 我还在等转接呢 Relax, I'm still on hold!
是我 Speaking.
当然 周四见面没问题 Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday.
约加州理工学院也没问题 Caltech is fine.
好 我能问问是什么事吗 Yeah, and may I ask what this is about?
不能啊 I may not?
他也是这么对我说的 That's what he said to me.
您端好了 妈妈 Here you are, Mother.
谢谢 Thank you.
很高兴你决定留下来 I'm glad you decided to stay.
我和佩妮能跟你一起分享这一天一定很特别 It's gonna be special for Penny and me to share this with you.
我迫切希望今天赶紧结束 I can't wait for this day to be over.
是啊 你说的这种"特别" Yeah, special, like that.
他们来了 That's them.
局面够尴尬了 拜托不要再增加尴尬程度了 Please don't make things any more awkward than they already are.
好的 那就是减少或持平都行 懂了 All right, so less or equally awkward, got it.
来啦 快请进 Hey, guys, come on in.
-谢谢 -早上好 - Oh, thank you. - Good morning.
-早安 -你们好 - Morning. - Hello.
今天大家都挺好吧 How is everyone today?
挺好 你呢 Good, and you?
-挺好挺好 -那就好 - Good, good. - Good.
我也挺好 I'm good, too.
好 Good.
你到底有没有玷污我妈 So, did you defile my mother or not?
谢尔顿 Sheldon!
你真是太失礼了 You're being rude.
容我说一句 你大可放心 If I may, I can assure you,
我和你母亲只是 your mother and I did nothing more
一起打车一起聊天 绝无任何越举行为 than share a cab and a conversation.
你们聊天的内容有这句话吗 Did that conversation include the phrase
"你的生殖器真是赏心悦目" "Your genitals are a joy to behold"?
够了 That's enough!
听着 我保证 无论是我 Look, I promise you, neither I,
或是任何人 都从未说过这句话 nor anyone, has ever said that.
看来你跟他女朋友不是很熟 You don't know his girlfriend very well.
也不熟悉我生殖器赏心悦目的程度 Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.
好了 你们先放好行李 All right, you guys, uh, get settled in,
然后我们就过对面跟大家打声招呼 then we'll go across the hall and say hi to everyone.
难以置信我从来没见过莱纳德 You know, It's hard to believe I've never met Leonard.
估计他的违禁毒品 Well, he probably buys his illegal drugs
都是找地头蛇买的 from a local vendor.
不好笑 怀亚特 Not funny, Wyatt.
-我觉得很好笑啊 -谢谢 - I thought it was really funny. - Thanks.
好啊 如果大家都想拿我们的家丑开玩笑 Well, fine, if everyone wants to make jokes about our problems,
那我也行啊 then I can, too.
咚咚 是谁敲门呀 Knock, knock. Who's there?
我们家就是个笑话 Our family is an embarrassment.
-这算不上是笑话啊 -好了 - That's not much of a joke. - Okay.
妈 我知道你紧张 但我保证 Listen, Mom, I know you're nervous, but I promise you,
不会有人戴有色眼镜看你或我们家 no one is gonna judge you or this family.
对不起 Oh, I'm sorry.
只是我们是第一次见莱纳德父母 It's just we're meeting Leonard's parents for the first time,
他们是学界精英 还是知识分子 and-and they're academics and-and intellectuals,
我不想让他们觉得我们是垃圾白人 and I don't want them thinking we're white trash.
那你觉得他们会比较信任什么颜色的垃圾 Well, what color trash do you think they'll believe?
你怎么能认为我会跟 How could you think that I would spend the night
刚认识的男人过夜呢 with a man I just met?
一个叫耶稣的男人 A man named Jesus
让你掏钱在非洲盖了一座教堂 convinced you to build a church in Africa.
你就是这么好骗 You're kind of a sucker.
啥事也没发生 对吧 Well, nothing happened, right?
所以一切到此为止 I-It's over.
除非我俩再办第三次婚礼 Until we get married a third time,
否则你们永远不会再见到彼此了 you guys will never have to see each other again.
这个倒不一定 Well, you know, actually that's not the case.
玛丽之后可能会来纽约看我 Mary may visit me in New York.
他也从来没去过德州 And he's never been to Texas.
我们可以约在中间见面 Maybe we meet halfway.
你俩要在乔治亚州的查塔国家森林公园见面吗 What? In the Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia?
不可能只有我知道那是纽约和德州的中间点吧 I can't be the only one that knows that's halfway.
你们不会真的想要继续见面吧 You're not seriously going to visit each other.
为什么不呢 And why wouldn't we?
拜托 你不过就是想激怒我而已 Oh, please, you're just saying this to antagonize me.
才怪 Not at all.
玛丽可是个好女人 Mary happens to be a wonderful woman.
如果这激怒了你 那算一石二鸟 And if it antagonizes you, tothat's just a bonus.
玛丽 抱歉把你扯到这些破事上来 Mary, I'm sorry you're in the middle of this.
不 不用道歉 No, no, nothing to be sorry about.
我是真的很喜欢你爸爸 I genuinely like your father.
喜欢他什么 他只是个平庸的学者 What? But he's a mediocre academic.
而且贝弗莉说他的床技低于平均线呢 And according to Beverly, his sexual prowess is subpar.
他根本就是一个前列腺肥大版的莱纳德嘛 He's basically Leonard with a bigger prostate.
你是说我爸配不上你妈吗 Are you saying that my dad's not good enough for your mom?
没错 我还同时好好挖苦了你一番 Yes, while also getting in a solid dig at you.
这才叫一石二鸟 Pretty efficient, huh?
这实在太荒唐了 我要去对面屋待一会 This is ridiculous. I-I'm going across the hall.
凭什么你可以走掉 But why should you get to go
却留下我和你吵个不停的父母在一起 and leave me here with your bickering parents?
好 那你走吧 Fine, then you go!
我不想和她同处一室 我走 Well, I don't want to stay here with her. I'll go.
我和你一起走 I'll go with you.
那不还是把我和他留在这里了吗 That still leaves me here with him.
等一下 等一下 Hang on, hang on!
聪明如我们 一定能找出解决办法 We're smart, we can figure this out.
玛丽和贝弗莉不能待在一起 Okay, so...Mary and Beverly can't be together.
阿尔弗瑞德和贝弗莉不能待在一起 Uh, Alfred and Beverly can't be together.
莱纳德和我不能待在一起 Leonard and I can't be together.
我虽然可以和阿尔弗瑞德待在一起 Now, I could be with Alfred...
但我不喜欢他的长相 but I don't like his face.
好了 我有办法了 Oh, here! I've got it!
大家准备好参加婚礼了吗 Who's ready for a wedding?
我去 这下子又得重新安排了 Great, now I have to start all over.
你在制药行业混得如何 So how's the world of pharmaceuticals treating you?
挺好的 我最近刚被分到了 Pretty good. I actually just got assigned
一个更好的区域 a much better territory.
看到没有 这就是努力工作的好处 See what happens when you work hard?
她不过就是卖卖药 我还得负责制药[毒]呢 Hey, she just sells drugs. I had to make 'em.
好了 够了 Okay, that's enough.
从现在开始任何人都不许再提药和毒品了 No more drug talk for the rest of this trip.
为了这句话干杯 I'll drink to that.
你还没喝够吗 Haven't you had enough?
佩妮比我喝得多多了 Penny drinks more than I do.
名师出高徒 Well, I learned from the best.
干得好 怀亚特 Very nice, Wyatt.
你现在知道这家伙为啥是这副德行了吧 And you wonder why this one turned out the way he did.
看看我过得多么煎熬啊 You see what I've gotta put up with!
你煎熬什么 What you've gotta put up with?
你为什么非要进监狱呢 Why did you have to go to jail?
我是被抓到了才进去的 妈妈 It's called getting caught, Mother!
我来了 Hello!
新郎来了 Hey, there he is! Hey!
莱纳德 再见到你太好了 Oh, Leonard! It's so nice to see you again!
见到你我也很高兴 Oh, you, too!
各位 这是我妈妈 贝弗莉 Hey, everyone, this is my mother, Beverly.
-你们好 -你好 - Hello.- Hi.
我们可不是垃圾白人哦 We are not white trash!
想到儿子要步上红毯了 是不是很激动啊 Are you excited to see your son walk down the aisle?
的确很激动 Yes, I am.
我只是有一点罪恶感 I'm just feeling a little guilty
毕竟给他添麻烦了 about all the trouble I've caused.
我也是 Oh, so am I.
你今天让上帝泪流满面呢 妈妈 You made God sad today, Mom.
谢尔顿 他们并没有做什么错事 Sheldon, they haven't done anything wrong.
我觉得他们之间能产生火花是很不错啊 I think it's nice they're hitting it off.
那也不用这么着急吧 Well, that's still no reason to rush into anything.
看看我们 Look at us.
我们就进行得非常缓慢 We took things remarkably slow.
你和我整整两年连手都没牵过 You and I, we didn't even hold hands for two years.
实际情况比听起来要热辣得多 It was a lot hotter than it sounds.
你是一位有耐心的小姑娘 You're a patient young lady.
喂 喂 名花已有主 Hey, hey! She's mine!
降降你的邪火 老大爷 Take a cold shower, grandpa!
那个上校为什么不告诉我这次见面的内容呢 Why wouldn't that colonel say what the meeting's about?
一定没好事 It has to be bad news.
冷静 试着别去想这件事好吗 Calm down, okay? Try not to think about it.
这算哪门子垃圾建议 That's really stupid advice.
你这么说可太伤我的心了 You know that hurts my feelings.
冷静 试着别去想这件事好吗 Calm down, try not to think about it.
好吧 Okay.
我就不该和你说这事 Why do I bother talking to you?
拜托 你去见面的最坏结果会是什么 Oh, come on. What's the worst that could come of this meeting?
我不知道 他们抢走我的发明 I don't know. They take the invention away,
我人财两空 and I get nothing?
这也不算最坏啊 Okay, that's not so bad.
你知道当年参与曼哈顿原子弹计划的 You know what happened to the scientists
科学家们都是什么下场吗 that worked on the Manhattan Project?
政府强迫他们搬去沙漠 The government forced them to move to the desert.
他们见不得光 They had to live in secret,
而当物理学家奥本海默拒绝 and when Oppenheimer objected
做他们安排的任务时 to what they made him do,
政府就搞臭了他的名声 they destroyed his reputation.
你说这故事的意义是什么 What's the point of that story?
我刚读了一本关于奥本海默的书 I just read a book about Oppenheimer,
正好借机显摆一下 seemed like a chance to show off.
这就好了嘛 There he is!
这才是我那位快乐的犹太小伙子 There's my happy Hebraic homeboy.
当你以后常驻沙漠 Yeah, that's the smile I'm gonna remember
而我跟你妻子同居时 我会记起你这灿烂笑容 when you're living in the desert and I'm living with your wife.
你从事什么工作啊 So, what do you do for a living?
妈咪 你能帮我回答这个问题吗 Mommy, you want to take this one?
兰德尔总是不停地换工作 Um, Randall's in between jobs.
还有不停地出庭 And court appearances.
我很高兴能见到养育出 It's nice to meet the woman
这么好的棒小伙的妈妈 who raised this fine young man.
我很期待和他的父亲见面 I'm looking forward to meeting his father.
那你就准备好失望吧 Prepare to be disappointed.
我想他一定也迫不及待见你 And he can't wait to meet you, too.
谁想来点喝的 Can I get anyone a drink?
我不介意再来瓶啤酒 Well, I could use another beer.
你喝够多了 You're done.
他喝够了 He's done.
看来你们已经相互认识了 Hey! Is everyone getting to know each other?
完全不是 Not at all!
很高兴再见到您 霍夫斯塔德博士 Nice to see you again, Dr. Hofstadter.
我是莱纳德的朋友斯图尔特 I'm, uh, Leonard's friend, Stuart.
幸会 Nice to see you, too.
您好 我是斯图尔特 Hi, I'm Stuart.
我是阿尔弗雷德 莱纳德的父亲 Ooh, I'm Alfred. Leonard's father.
您好啊 抱歉 Oh! Oh, hi.
你们要不要坐一起 Uh, I'm sorry, did you two want to sit together?
-不要 -不用 - No. - No.
我还纳闷为什么前排会有空位呢 I was wondering why the front row was available.
好了 我们应该准备好了 Okay, I think we're ready.
为什么人们会在婚礼上哭啊 Why do people cry at weddings?
他们是在为婚后生活做练习 They're practicing for what's coming later.
谢谢你为了妹妹的婚礼特地打扮了一番 Thank you for cleaning yourself up for your sister's wedding.
我的新牙也得谢你啊 Thank you for my new teeth.
欢迎加入我们家庭 莱纳德 Welcome to the family, Leonard.
千万别借钱给你的大舅子 Don't lend your new brother-in-law money.
今日我们齐聚一堂来庆祝爱情 We're here today to celebrate love.
叹气再更大声点 人家听不到 Sigh louder, no one heard you.
真的 我不介意挪位置 Really, I can move.
不只是莱纳德与佩妮的爱情 Not just Leonard and Penny's love,
还有我们对他们 以及彼此间的爱 but the love we have for them, as well as each other.
说到"爱" Speaking of love,
老年人间的性病传染突破天际啊 STDs among the elderly are skyrocketing.
爱是耐心 Love is patient,
但不代表就会容忍有人在底下叽叽喳喳 but it's not gonna put up with all the side chatter,
所以把嘴闭上 so let's knock it off!
好歹她终于换个人吼吼了 At least she's yelling at someone else for a change.
霍华德 Howard!
好了 我知道大家今天都有点神经紧绷 Okay, I understand everyone's a little tense today,
所以我就直接跳到重点部分吧 so I am just gonna get to the important stuff.
莱纳德 与你一起在这里 Leonard, standing here with you
站在我们亲朋好友的面前 in front of our family and friends
我内心感慨万千 is bringing up a lot of feelings.
比如想到我们第一次私奔结婚是多好的主意 Like what a good idea it was to elope the first time.
但也想到你让我无比快乐 But also how incredibly happy you make me.
谢谢你娶了我 Thank you for marrying me.
希望这是你最后一次娶我了 Hopefully for the last time.
佩妮 Penny...
作为一名科学家 as a scientist,
我的职责是搞懂事物发生的原因 my job is to figure out why things happen.
但我想我永远搞不懂 But I don't think I'll ever understand
我这样的凡夫俗子 how someone like me
怎能有幸与你共度一生 could get to be with someone like you.
或许... 或许我不需要搞懂 You know... maybe... I don't need to understand it,
我只需感谢天赐良缘 I just need to be grateful.
我爱你 佩妮 I love you, Penny.
有人对此有啥毒舌言论要发表吗 Anybody have anything snarky to say about that?
我也觉得不会有 Didn't think so.
我想说两句 I'd like to say something.
贝弗莉 Beverly,
我知道我们没有把最好的一面呈现给对方 I know that we don't bring out the best in each other.
但我们的结合还是带来了一件美好事物 But something wonderful did come from our relationship:
就是前面这个好小伙 that young man right there.
我非常同意 I couldn't agree more.
太感人了 That's beautiful.
谢谢 好了 我们继续 Thank you. All right, let's continue.
抱歉 我也有话想对 Yeah, excuse me, I need to say something
一位很特别的人说 而且... to someone pretty special, and...
我一刻都不想等了 I just can't wait any longer.
守得云开见月明啊 It's happening.
莱纳德 Leonard...
你我之间起起伏伏 有好有坏 You and I have our ups and downs.
但一直以来我始终把你当家人看待 But I have always considered you my family.
连最近我们的父母如两只老兔子般疯狂交配 Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating
也没有威胁到这份情谊 like wrinkly old rabbits.
虽然我不常表现出来 I don't always show it,
但你对我无比重要 but you are of great importance to me.
你们俩都是 Both of you.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 Okay.
我现在宣布你们为夫妻 I now pronounce you husband and wife.
外加随公寓附赠的另一位怪丈夫 And weird other husband who came with the apartment.
谢谢你载我们去机场 Thank you for taking us to the airport.
我很开心我们一家能和平共处一会儿 Hey, I'm just thrilled we're all getting along for a minute.
我也是 Yeah, me, too.
贝弗莉 我如果惹你不开心了 对不起 Beverly, I'm sorry if I upset you.
过了就算了 阿尔弗雷德 Water under the bridge, Alfred.
莱纳德 你为什么不开上共乘车道 Leonard, why don't you get into the carpool lane?
那里是实线 他不能切过去 Well, that's a solid line. He can't cross it.
没事 我可以切过去 That's okay. I can make it over.
不必不必 就慢悠悠地开吧 No, no, let's plod along.
这么开你父亲会舒服点 It'll make your father feel more comfortable.
真正让我感到舒心的是想到 What makes me comfortable is knowing I don't have to
明早不用一起床 就看见你那张臭脸 wake up tomorrow morning and see your sour face.
善待这个世界 明早别醒来了 Do the world a favor and don't wake up tomorrow morning.
和平了快整整一分钟呢 That was almost a minute.
好多车啊 不会赶不上吧 There's a lot of traffic. Are we gonna be okay?
你会在你飞机起飞前一个小时到达机场 You'll be at the airport an hour before your flight.
很好 谢谢 Good. Thank you.
有足够时间让你再找一个"老"白脸 Plenty of time for you to meet another geriatric boy toy.
我不许你不尊重我 Hey. I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
是的 母亲大人 Yes, ma'am.
谢尔顿 你的母亲是一位很有魅力的女子 Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman.
你得习惯 You need to get used to the fact
男人们会对她趋之若鹜 that men are gonna be interested in her.
你也得闭嘴开车 少多管闲事 And you need to drive the car and mind your business.
我也不许你不尊重我 I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
你又不是我妈 What-- you're not my mother.
你不许不尊重她 Don't you be disrespectful to her!
是的 大人 Yes, ma'am.
慢慢来 多加鞭策就行了 You'll get there, you've just got to put some zing on it.
佩妮 我真不知道我之前瞎担心什么 Penny, I don't know what I was worried about.
你的朋友们都很讨人喜欢啊 Your friends are just lovely.
谢谢啊 妈妈 Oh, thanks, Mom.
除了那个谢尔顿有点"特别" Although that Sheldon is a bit peculiar.
是吗 从来没注意到啊 Is he? I never noticed.
他让我想起我们家养过的那只火鸡 He reminds me of that turkey we had
看雨看到被雨水呛死了 who drowned looking up at the rain.
条子 条子 要淡定 Cops, cops, be cool!