真是太棒了 That is unbelievable.
恭喜伯特 Good for Bert.
靠 麦克阿瑟奖啊 Damn, the MacArthur Genius Grant.
俗称天才奖 为纪念约翰·D·麦克阿瑟而命名 50万奖金颁发给在各领域内具有非凡创造性的杰出人士
没人比他更值得获得这个奖了 Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
一切都蠢爆了 人家要回家了 Everything is stupid and I want to go home.
这是谢尔顿版本的 That's Sheldon's way of saying
他也为伯特感到骄傲 he's proud of Bert, too.
而且这奖都不叫做"天才奖" Hey, it's not even called the "Genius Grant,"
正确名称叫"麦克阿瑟奖学金" it's the MacArthur Fellowship.
就像不是《弗兰肯斯坦》 Just like it's not Frankenstein,
而是《弗兰肯斯坦的怪物》一样 it's "Frankenstein's Monster."
又称《科学怪人》 弗兰肯斯坦常被人误会 以为是那怪人的名字 其实那个科学家的名字
这又让我们联想到后面这位庞大巨怪 Which brings us back to that hulking simpleton over there.
要说谁是天才 And if anyone's a genius,
那也是能联想出刚才那一串的我 it's me for the way I brought that full circle.
他赢了多少奖金呢 How much money did he win?
超过50万美元 Over half a million dollars.
而且这个奖金没规定得用在研究上 And he doesn't have to use it for research,
他可以任意支配 he can do whatever he wants with it.
他家住天桥底 现在可以盖一座更好的桥住了 Oh, good, maybe he can build a nicer bridge to live under.
-他过来啦 -是啊 - Here he comes. - Right.
保持礼貌 Be polite.
我知道怎么表现好吗 I know how to behave.
是吗 Do you?
恭喜你啊 伯特 Hey, congratulations Bert!
-恭喜你 -太厉害了 - Yeah, good for you. - That's amazing.
谢谢 Thanks.
我也跟所有人一样惊讶啊 I was as surprised as anybody.
他们打来通知我得奖了 When they called and told me I won,
我都不相信是真的 I didn't believe them.
然后他们说"你真的赢了" And then they said, "No, you really won."
我就说"酷啊" And then I said, "Cool."
谁快打给《冰与火之歌》的拖搞作者 Someone call George R. R. Martin,
这家伙可知道怎么给故事收尾了 this guy knows how to finish a story.
我已经越来越会说这故事了 I've gotten pretty good at telling it.
好啦 再见 Well, see ya.
还天才呢 Some genius.
我讽刺了他一番 他都没听出来 I zinged him with sarcasm, he didn't even notice.
对啊 I know,
你讽刺他的金句可是我这辈子听过最毒的呢 and it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.
你这小嘴抹了蜜了 Well, aren't you a peach.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 201611
生
活
大
爆
炸
第十季 第九集
谁会把自行车随便放在走廊啊 Who leaves their bike in the hallway?
我要是会骑自行车 You know, if I knew how to ride one,
我肯定就偷了 I'd steal it.
别理他 Ignore him,
他耍脾气是因为地质学的伯特 he's just cranky because Bert from the geology lab
赢了笔大奖学金 won a big grant.
我有在广播上听到他的采访 Oh, I heard him interviewed on the radio!
就是颁奖单位通知他获奖时 You know, when they told him he won,
他本来不相信 然后他又相信了 he didn't believe it, but then he did believe it.
真是笑死我了 It was so funny.
这年头谁还听广播啊 Who listens to the radio anymore?
伯特在研究岩石中的微生物 Bert is studying the way microbes in rocks
在极端环境下是如何生存的 can survive in extreme environmental conditions.
有人认为这可能成为 They say it could be a potential indicator
其他星球上有无生命的指标 of life on other planets.
我见过伯特这人 You know what, I've met Bert.
他的存在不就指出了其他星球上有生物吗 Isn't he an indicator of life on other planets?
你以前开这种玩笑都是吐槽我的 You used to make those jokes about me.
现在什么事都是伯特这个 伯特那个 Now everything is Bert, Bert, Bert!
谢尔顿 或许如果你花时间 You know, Sheldon, maybe if you take the time
真去读读人家的研究成果 to actually read Bert's research,
或许你就不会对人家赢奖这么郁闷 you'd be less bitter about him winning.
你是要我去读地质学论文啊 You want me to read a geology paper?
说实话 我是想你闭嘴 Honestly, I just want you to be quiet
可是我身上没糖果了 but I'm all out of taffy.
你在忙吗 You busy?
这边有个人想进来见见你 There's somebody out here who wants to meet you.
谁啊 Who is it?
跟大家的小号朋友打声招呼 Say hello to everybody's little friend--
遥控史蒂芬·霍金教授 remote control Stephen Hawking!
你从哪搞来的啊 Where did you get that?
在一个旧物箱里发现的 I found him in an old box.
你为啥要买这玩意 Why would you buy it?
我没买 I didn't buy it.
是我做的 I made it.
最后一个问题 Last question.
你脑子是有什么毛病啊 What is wrong with you?
这有什么大不了啊 What's the big deal?
华仔 这是低级趣味 Howie, it's in poor taste.
才没有 你看好了 No, it's not. Check it out.
他会说很好笑的句子 He says fun stuff.
你好啊 美女 Hey good lookin',
想跟我去兜几圈吗 want to go for a spin?
他的双眼在黑暗中会亮哦 His eyes also light up in the dark.
看他读别人的研究成果总是很好玩 It's always fun watching him read someone else's work.
感觉就像在翻阅我手机上的表情包 It's like scrolling through the emojis on my phone.
为 为啥 Ye-- why?
为啥啊 Eh, why?!
原来如此 Oh, that's why.
听起来像我们交媾的那晚 Sounds like the night we had coitus.
让我读这东西的人 你们这下高兴了吧 I hope you're happy making me read this.
伯特的成果非凡 Bert's work is remarkable.
我现在更不高兴了 And I'm more upset than ever.
承认这点比有一次我得承认 This is worse than when I had to admit that
搞笑艺人塞德里克真的很搞笑还不爽 Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining.
黑人演员 常在一些喜剧电影或电视中客串/配音
谢尔顿 因为伯特的成果很棒而生气太傻了 Sheldon, it's foolish to be angry that Bert's work has merit.
我是生气 Yeah, well I-I am angry!
而你叫我别生气 And you telling me not to be angry
让我更生气 makes me angry!
你知道一遍又一遍 And do you know how hearing myself
听自己说"生气"这个词让我作何感想吗 say the word angry over and over makes me feel?
-生气吗 -干嘛多嘴 - Ooh, a-angry? - What are you doing?
人家知道答案 得意忘形了嘛 I-I-I knew the answer. I got excited.
伙计 要不我们出去散散步 Hey, buddy, why don't we go for a walk,
好让你冷静一下 so you can calm down.
这个主意好 That's a good idea.
看来现在所有人都能有好主意了 I guess everyone's having them now.
我是想帮你好吗 Hey, I'm trying to help you.
好吧 Fine.
你可以走在我前面 帮我吓走鸽子 You can walk ahead of me and scare off the pigeons.
就挥挥你的稻草人手 鸽子自然会飞走 Just wave your arms a little and they fly away, it's not...
拉杰 Okay, Raj,
我要给你看样东西 I'm gonna show you something.
我们俩有一人觉得这玩意冒犯人 Now, one of us thinks it's offensive.
另一人觉得这玩意很好笑 The other thinks it's hilarious
而且创意十足 and a great idea.
但是我不会告诉你 But, I'm not going to tell you
我们俩谁喜欢它 who likes it.
这问题太难了 This is tough.
但我要说 But I'm going to say
喜欢它的人肯定是给我看网上 it's the guy who shows me YouTube videos
人们蛋蛋被各种打到视频的那家伙 of people getting hit in the nuts.
你净瞎说 You're crazy.
我跟霍金共事过 I've worked with Hawking.
他非常有幽默感 He's got a great sense of humor.
我觉得他会喜欢这玩意 And I think he'd like it.
好啊 那打给他视频给他看 Okay, call him and show him.
我谅你不敢 I dare you.
打给他当然没问题啊 I have no problem calling him.
好啊 那就打吧 Fine, then do it.
行 我打 Fine, I will.
当你在烦世界上最有名的科学家时 While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist,
记得一定要给他看看他被卡在 be sure to show him how funny he looks
我们洗碗机下的样子有多可笑 getting stuck under our dishwasher.
这个按钮是做什么的 What's this button do?
先生们 启动轮椅 Gentlemen, start your wheelchairs.
经典赛车开场白 原句为 "Gentlemen. Start Your Engines!"
你也在别人蛋蛋被打到时嘲笑人家啊 You laughed when that guy got hit in the nuts.
我笑是因为那个被打到的人是莱纳德 I laughed because the guy was Leonard.
我很佩服你 莱纳德 I admire you, Leonard.
是吗 为什么 Really, why?
你对自己的状态感到满意 You're happy with who you are.
你不会去羡慕嫉妒其他人 You don't get jealous of other people.
你没有雄心壮志 也不会被其拖累 Instead of being weighed down by ambition,
你只是一具飘浮在河上的死尸 随波逐流 you just float along like a dead body in a river.
我为啥就不能接受夸赞就好 I couldn't just take the compliment.
还得嘴贱问原因 I had to ask why.
我真的理解你现在的感受 You know, I do understand what you're feeling.
我哥哥和姐姐的成就 My brother and sister's accomplishments
一直让我抬不起头 have always been held over my head.
那你是怎么处理的 How did you deal with it?
我直到上大学才不尿床 I wet the bed until college,
但我觉得这不算是个好的解决方法 but I don't think that's a quality fix.
我无法相信自己被一个地质学家超越了 I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist.
我是说 I mean...
石头啊 rocks!
他研究的是石头 He studies rocks!
石头要真有这么棒 为啥剪刀石头布会输给布 If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?
莱纳德 我有一股冲动想把这石头扔出去 Leonard, I'm having a primal urge to throw this rock.
扔吧 Do it.
把它想象成你的气愤 Visualize it as your anger
然后用力将它扔出你的人生 a-and-and toss it out of your life.
或许我真会扔 Perhaps I will.
这块石头 This rock
封装了我所有的负面情绪 encapsulates all my negative emotions.
我会将你抛得远远的 I will cast you far away.
你被抛出天际时 可以顺便砸死只鸽子 Feel free to take out a pigeon while you're at it.
让它飞出天际吧 Let it fly.
怎么回事 What happened?
我试图释放我的气愤 I tried to let go of anger
结果扔石头砸到我的脚了 and threw a rock into my foot!
然后他更生气 用另一只脚 Then he got more angry and kicked the rock
-去踹那块石头 -搞毛啊 - with his other foot. - Wha--?
你又是怎么回事 And what happened to you?
我狂笑不止 Oh, I laughed so hard,
鼻子的血管都笑破了一根 没事啦 I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It's fine.
嫉妒别人就算了 You know, it's one thing to be envious,
可你现在还自残 but now you're injuring yourself.
这事必须得打住 It has to stop.
不过如果你要再自残 Although if you are gonna do it again,
麻烦一定要告诉我 我好拍下来 please let me know, so I can get it on video.
谢尔顿 You know, Sheldon,
别老关注伯特拥有什么 instead of fixating on what Bert has,
你应该感恩自己人生拥有的美好事物 you should appreciate all of the good things in your life.
你拥有爱 Y-You've got love,
你拥有健康的身体 you're in good health,
你还拥有一个栖身之所 you've got a roof over your head.
是啊 但这些你也有 Yeah, but you've got all those things,
也没人争着排队想成为你啊 and no one's lining up to be you.
谁想来试试 Anybody else want to try?
我再去泡点茶 I'm gonna go make some more tea
顺便质疑下我的人生选择 and question my life choices.
你去吧 You're up.
谢小妹妹 老娘快没耐心了 别再唧唧歪歪 This is getting old fast, Dolores, knock it off!
你真的觉得这么乱叫我有用吗 Uh, do you really think calling me names is helpful?
有啊 I do!
你的人生很好了 你个老屁孩 Your life is fine, you big baby!
或许你说得对 Maybe you're right.
不是吧 Really?!
不知能否安慰到你 If it helps,
但我也在质疑你的人生选择了 I'm questioning your life choices, too.
谢谢 佩妮 Thank you, Penny.
我就是需要提醒我自己 You know, I just need to keep reminding myself
伯特的成功并不代表我的失败 that Bert's success is not my failure.
这就对啦 There you go.
而且像他这样巨型的身材 And that men of his large stature
也更容易感染上各种各样的致命病症 are more susceptible to a wide array of life-threatening diseases.
这就...对啦... There you go...
什么事 What's up?
我在做一个快速调查 I'm conducting a quick survey.
你觉得这个向伟人致敬的 Do you think this respectful
集可敬与可爱为一体的小玩意 and loving tribute to a great man
是低级趣味吗 is in poor taste?
没错 Yep.
你觉得这个算低级趣味吗 Do you think this is in poor taste?
这玩意可以打转或耍把戏吗 Does it spin around and do tricks?
都可以 Yeah!
那就是低级趣味 Then yeah.
你怎么看 What do you think?
太好玩了 That is hilarious!
把遥控器给我 Give me the remote control.
我要把他开到女厕所去 I want to drive him into the girls' restroom.
结论已出 这不是个好玩意 All right, we're done. It's offensive.
下午好 各位 Top of the afternoon, gentlemen.
你心情不错啊 You're in a good mood.
新的一天已降临 我有了新的世界观 Well, it's a new day. I have a new outlook.
我发现 You know, I realized
我不用关心别人的事 I don't need to worry about other people.
我只需要多把心思花在自己身上 I just need to think more about myself.
天 我们要如何习惯全新的你 Oh, how will we ever get used to the new you?
我很高兴你能放下 并向未来前进 Well, I'm glad to see you moving forward.
伯特的研究做得不错 Bert did quality research.
他受到表彰也是理所当然的 And he deserves whatever accolades he receives.
怎么回事 What is going on?
你昨晚升级了他这机器人的软件吗 Did you upgrade his software last night?
他这是开启了自主学习模式 I think he might be learning on his own.
看来机器人大叛乱指日可待 Then the robot uprising has begun.
抱歉 我要去向伯特 Excuse me, I need to pay Bert
表达我的祝贺 a proper congratulations.
他不光长得像C-3PO He doesn't just look like C-3PO,
《星际大战》中的金色机器人
现在连走路都一模一样了 now he walks like him.
伯特 Bert?
我想让你知道 我读了你的论文 I wanted to let you know that I read your research,
你拿奖 实至名归 and your award is well-deserved.
谢谢 Thanks.
最近我听了好多类似的话 I've been hearing that a lot.
自从我得奖 大家都夸我棒棒哒 Ever since I won, people think I'm great.
好吧 仅此一次 Well, just this once,
你可以把我和大家混为一谈 you can count me as people, too.
作为麦克阿瑟奖学金获得者 You know, as a MacArthur Grant winner,
我可以提名下一届的候选人 I'm allowed to nominate someone for next year.
真的吗 Really?
我还不知道这件事呢 I didn't know that.
我想了一下 So I was thinking, you know,
工程师好像一直不受重视 engineers don't get a lot of respect.
你朋友霍华德有在研究什么有趣的东西吗 Is your friend Howard working on anything cool?
我 我不确定 You know, I-I'm not sure.
你应该去问他 You know, you'd have to ask him.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
莱纳德 我又伤了自己 Leonard! I hurt myself again.
不好意思 我得去拍点照片了 Excuse me, I-I have to go take some pictures.
真不敢相信你居然用头去撞饮水器 I can't believe you head-butted a water fountain.
不 我本打算一拳砸在饮水器上 No, I went to punch the water fountain,
结果踩到饮水器前一滩水滑倒 slipped in water in front of the water fountain,
才一头撞上饮水器 and hit my head on the water fountain.
我真想象不出你暴力的样子 I can't imagine you being violent.
美国50年代搞笑组合
也没那么难了 想象一下"三个臭皮匠"的表演 It's not hard. Just picture the Three Stooges,
然后去掉两个臭皮匠 and then take away two stooges.
我对自己太失望了 I'm so disappointed in myself.
嫉妒真是毫无逻辑可言 Jealousy is completely illogical.
这是人类的正常感情 谢尔顿 It's a human emotion, Sheldon.
每个人都会嫉妒 Everyone gets jealous.
我就很嫉妒莱纳德和佩妮 I'm jealous of Leonard and Penny
霍华德和伯纳黛特之间 and Howard and Bernadette
相亲相爱的关系 for being in such happy relationships.
不嫉妒我和谢尔顿吗 What about me and Sheldon?
有啦有啦 Sure.
我一直都很嫉妒拉杰 I've always been jealous of how much money
家底丰厚 Raj's family has.
谢谢夸奖 家底丰厚的好处 Thank you for saying that. Next to buying things,
除了买买买 就是炫炫炫 that is the best part about having money.
自从我认识了佩妮 Ever since I met Penny,
我就一直嫉妒她的美貌 I've been envious of her looks.
谢谢 Aw, thank you.
所以你剪短发时我才笑得合不拢嘴 That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off.
什么 What?!
你懂我的意思 You know what I mean.
虽然你依然美丽 但更像是 You were still hot, but more like a
"那位美女是疯了才剪短发吧"的那种美 "Why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair?" hot.
你喜欢我的短发造型吧 You liked my short hair, right?
是...我挺喜欢的 Yeah... I loved it.
爱你 爱你的秀发 Love you, love the hair,
咱们换个话题吧 would love to change the subject.
说真的 你们都不喜欢吗 Seriously, none of you liked it?
我觉得你很勇敢 I thought it was brave.
这算是喜欢吗 Does that count as liking it?
那怎么没人说起 You know, how come nobody's talking about
霍华德的傻逼发型呢 Howard's dopey haircut?
我觉得他挺可爱呀 I think he looks cute.
我觉得你也很可爱 And I think you're cute.
我觉得你俩都好可爱 I think you're both cute.
我觉得我烦死你们这群书呆子了 I think I hate all of you nerds.
抱歉 我走得太慢了 Sorry I'm moving slowly.
没事 Oh, I don't mind.
要是你现在能从兜里掏出颗奶油硬糖 If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket,
那就真是和跟我奶奶散步一模一样了 it would be like I'm walking with my grandma.
不是吧 Oh, no.
伯特伦·凯布勒 地质学教授 2016麦克阿瑟奖获奖者
你看... 纪念牌 Did you... A plaque?
没人想看这玩意儿 Nobody wants to see this.
把"纪念牌"这词换成"跨种族伴侣" Well, change "Plaque" to "Mixed-race couple"
你就是我奶奶无疑 and you are my grandma.
我再也受不了了 I can't take this anymore.
伯特 伯特 伯特 Bert. Bert. Bert!
请进 Come in.
好了 我们上吧... All right, let's do this...
伯特 Bert?
我们得谈谈 We need to talk.
你这是怎么搞的 What happened to you?
石头 石头 饮水器 Rock, rock, water fountain.
这事说起来并不光彩 I am not proud of this.
但我最近一直在嫉妒你的成功 But I have been envious of your recent success.
我得了麦克阿瑟奖 Wow, I won the MacArthur Grant,
大家都开始嫉妒我 everyone's jealous of me.
等我把视力激光矫正手术做了 就别无所求了 Once I get Lasik, I'll be out of things to wish for.
我是希望通过向你坦白我的弱点 I was hoping by admitting my weakness to you,
卸下我心中的重担 I'd somehow be unburdened.
-轻松了吗 -没有 - Is it working? - No.
现在弱点被你知道了 Now that you know my weakness,
我对你的恨意更强烈了 I hate you more than ever.
我们俩都很聪明 Well, you know, we're both pretty smart.
要是我们能一起想 I bet if we put our heads together,
说不定能想出个办法呢 we could come up with a solution.
我们 等等 We... Hang on.
你是我的敌人 You're my enemy.
敌人的敌人就是朋友 Now, the enemy of the enemy is my friend.
现在 我最大的敌人是我自己 And right now, I'm my own worst enemy.
也就是说 你是我朋... That makes you my fr--
说吧 我洗耳恭听 Okay, I'm good to go.
太好了 Great.
既然我们是朋友了 要不要试试 Now that we're friends, want to see if we can
去搞两张《艾伦秀》的观众入场券 get tickets to a taping of Ellen?
拉倒吧 这行不通的 You know what? This isn't gonna work.
谢尔顿 等等 Sheldon... wait.
你可以高兴的事有很多 You know, you've got a lot to be happy about.
在你的领域里 你是最棒的 You're at the top of your field,
还有一个那么棒的女朋友 you have a great girlfriend.
对啊 想起来了 Yes! That's right!
我有艾米 I have Amy!
过去你曾经喜欢过她 In the past, you've professed feelings for her.
看着我拥有她 而你却望而不得 Does it eat you up inside
心里是不是苦死了 that I have her and you don't?
以前是 It used to.
不过现在我已经名利双收了 But now that I'm rich and successful,
应该可以找个更好的 I think I can do better.
不敢相信 你居然打了伯特一拳 I can't believe you punched Bert.
我没有挥拳打他 I didn't punch him.
是趁他转身 我给他来了一招 He turned around, and I gave him
寇克船长的手刀 a Captain Kirk karate chop.
都不知道他有没有感觉到 I'm not even sure he knows I did it.
谢尔顿 Hey, Sheldon,
我找到了或许能安慰你的人 I've got someone here who might make you feel better.
你好 谢尔顿 Hello, Sheldon.
霍金教授 Professor Hawking!
我理解你 I understand
因为事业上的嫉妒心而挣扎的感受 you're struggling with professional jealousy.
谢你啊 莱纳德 现在害他觉得我不酷了 Thanks, Leonard, now he's not gonna think I'm cool.
别担心 我懂你的感受 Don't worry, I know how you feel.
我一次诺贝尔奖没得过 I have never won a Nobel Prize.
感觉好不公平啊 Oh, wow, that doesn't seem fair.
没关系 It's fine.
我上过动画片《辛普森一家》 I've been on The Simpsons.
你怎么面对同事们的成功呢 How do you deal with the success of your colleagues?
我提醒我自己 I remind myself
每一次科学进步 都是胜利 every scientific advancement is a victory.
而且我还上过《星际迷航》 Also, I was on Star Trek.
那段可精彩了 他和牛顿玩扑克 Oh, it was a good one. He played poker with Sir Isaac...
你没兴趣 You don't care.
不要把你的时间花在嫉妒上 谢尔顿 Don't waste your time on jealousy, Sheldon,
对你的聪明才智是种浪费 you're too brilliant.
连史蒂芬·霍金都夸你聪明 How can you feel bad
你怎么还能难过呢 if Stephen Hawking says you're brilliant?
不难过了 I can't.
谢谢你 霍金教授 Thank you, Professor Hawking.
你就是人类之光 You are a gift to mankind.
应该到处都有你的雕像 There should be statues of you everywhere.
林肯纪念堂里的林肯坐在椅子上呢 You know, the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair.
直接把你换上去吧 We could swap you right in.
要是有个我形象的电动玩具就好了 I always thought a motorized toy of me would be cool.
多好的主意啊 What a wonderful idea!
怎么还不给这人颁诺贝尔奖 How does this man not have a Nobel?
-不要告诉沃洛威茨 -早想到了 - Do not tell Wolowitz. - Way ahead of you.
新的研究成果表示 大笑 A new study came out, and it said that laughing
深受观众喜爱的《艾伦秀》现场 由著名主持人兼喜剧演员艾伦主持
能让你的大脑运转更灵活 makes your brain work better.
这是真的 因为我已经 And I know that's true because laughing
把自己笑成"最葱明"的人了 has made me the "Smartiest."
不过话说回来 Although, on the other hand,
婴儿们也总笑 他们怎么那么笨 babies laugh a lot, and they're dumb.
大家认识这人吗 Do people know about her?
她好讨人喜欢啊 'Cause she's delightful.