之前跟你约会的那女的怎么样了 What's going on with that woman you're dating?
我甩了她 I broke up with her.
为什么 Why?
因为她说她再也不想见到我 She said she didn't want to see me anymore
我觉得这话太侮辱人了 and I found that insulting.
我还以为你们发展不错呢 怎么了 I thought things were going well. What happened?
我也不知道 她甚至没告诉我原因 I don't know, she didn't even give me a reason.
小事一桩 我们可以一起推算 Oh, not a problem, we can figure this out.
女人拒绝拉杰的原因有哪些呢 What are the reasons women reject Raj?
求不玩这个游戏 Can we not play this game?
不爱玩游戏 这就算一个 Doesn't like games. That's one.
别理他 Ignore him.
分手了你也别太难过 Yeah, sorry about the breakup.
没关系 我没事 That's okay, I'm fine.
你当然没事啦 Of course you're fine.
一个物种里 本就不是全部都能找到伴 Not every member of a species finds a mate.
艾萨克·牛顿爵士到死都还是处男 Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
你看看他对人类的贡献有多大 Look at the contributions he made.
谢尔顿 我不是处男 I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
怎么 你觉得自己比艾萨克·牛顿还牛逼了吗 Wha... So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?
难怪女人都不喜欢你 No wonder women don't like you.
你这样太损了 You're not being very nice.
哪有 他自己说他没事 What? He said he was fine.
有时人们所言非所想 Sometimes people say things they don't mean.
这是个悖论 Oh, that's a paradox.
如果你刚才的所言即所想 I-If you meant what you just said,
那就意味着你刚才所言可能非所想 then that means you may not have meant what you just said.
小心点 我在《星际迷航》看过这幕 Careful, I saw this on Star Trek.
很快他耳朵要冒出蒸汽了 Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon.
小伙子们 你们好吗 Hey, boys. How's it going?
我本以为我们大家在愉悦地交流 Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation,
结果发现 原来我是在冒犯人 but it turns out, I was being offensive.
-一如既往 -对... - So, normal. - Yeah--
谢尔顿 你又干嘛了 ?Sheldon, what did you do?
我们在讨论拉杰最近分手的事 We were discussing Raj's recent breakup
显然是我没顾虑到他心情 and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
没关系 我没事 It's okay, I'm fine.
你有事 别中了他的计 You di-- Don't fall for it.
他会诱拐你把他跟死去的处男做对比 He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin,
然后突然间你就成了坏人 and suddenly you're the bad guy.
谢尔顿 我说我没事时 Sheldon, when I said I was fine,
我的意思是我不想再谈这件事了 I meant I didn't want to talk about it anymore.
那你为什么不直接这么说 Then why didn't you say that?
因为大家都不这么说 Because that's not what people do.
我宁愿大家直接告诉我 Well, I would prefer if people told me
他们心中真实的想法 exactly what is on their mind.
不 不会 你不会 你不会想要 No. No, you don't, you really don't.
我再强调几百遍都不够 I actually can't say "Don't" enough.
这至少会让相处简单很多啊 Well, it certainly would be easier.
你们压根就不会懂 You have no idea what it's like
读不懂别人情绪的复杂心情 to struggle with recognizing emotional cues.
想必是非常烦心吧 I'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
-是的 谢谢 -还有点小伤心吧 - Thank you. - And also a little sad.
够了 你现在就是在显摆你会读 O-Okay, now you're just showing off.
我听说麻省理工有个团队 You know, I just read that a team at MIT
制造出了一种可协助解读人类情绪的装置 developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
你觉得我们能让他们 And you think we can get those guys
给谢尔顿重新编程吗 酷啊 to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
该装置的准确率好像能到85%呢 It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time.
我觉得有点难以置信 Wow, I find that hard to believe.
你不敢相信一群害羞内向 That a bunch of awkward scientists
零社交技能的科学家会发明这种机器 with no social skills would invent a machine
来帮助他们读懂他人情绪吗 to do it for them?
我收回我的话 我相信 I take it back. I believe it.
如果麻省理工有的话 我可以打电话问问啊 You know, if it's at MIT, I can make some calls.
或许可以帮谢尔顿搞个原型机来 Maybe we can get Sheldon a prototype.
你觉得如何 What do you think?
能读懂情绪的机器的确挺吸引人 A machine that reads emotions is intriguing.
它能帮我成为一个更体贴的朋友 It could help me be a more considerate friend.
那何尝不是件好事 Wouldn't that be nice.
还可以帮助我找出我的敌人 It could also help me identify my enemies,
发现他们的恐惧 然后... discover their fears and then...
我就能利用他们的恐惧来摧毁他们 I could use those fears to destroy them.
我喜欢第一种用法 I like the first one.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 20170217
生
活
大
爆
炸
第十季 第十四集
现在谢尔顿搬到对面住了 Now that Sheldon's across the hall,
你决定好了要把他就房间拿来干嘛吗 have you decided what you're doing with his old room?
我在想看是改成小藏书室或是游戏房 I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room.
也可以改成火车玩具房啊 You could make it a train room.
我不喜欢火车 喜欢火车的是你 I don't like trains. You like trains.
我知道 可是艾米不让我弄个火车玩具房 I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room.
谢尔顿 麻省理工的人回复我了 Sheldon, I just heard from the guys at MIT
那个情绪解读机 他们会送个原型机过来 about that emotion reader; they're sending a prototype
让你做发行前测试 for you to beta test.
太好了 Wonderful.
虽然我也不知道对成为 Although I'm not sure how I feel
实验天竺鼠该作何感想 about being used as a guinea pig.
等你拿到机器 你就知道该作何感想啦 Well, when you get the machine, you can find out.
或许我可以拿来 Maybe I could use it
看看为什么女人不停甩我 to understand why women keep dumping me.
你不需要用机器啊 你就发意见调查表 Oh, you don't need a machine for that, just send a survey card
给你所有的前女友 再告诉她们 to all your ex-girlfriends and tell them
填表的人有机会中奖就行了 if they fill it out they might win a prize.
这主意还不赖啊 That's actually not a bad idea.
或许我可以让她们齐聚一堂 Maybe I could even get them all together,
弄成像焦点小组 sort of like a... a focus group,
来探讨出我到底是哪里有问题 to find out what's wrong with me.
别啊 拉杰 这是个馊主意 No, Raj, that's a terrible idea.
对啊 我刚才在瞎说 Yeah, I was joking.
你们... 真的吗 You... Really?
小秘诀 笑话结尾通常用 Uh, little tip: jokes are often better
"哇咔哇咔"或者是"哈恰恰"比较好 when you end them with "Wocka Wocka" or "Ha-cha-cha."
分别是电视节目《大青蛙布偶秀》中角色 与知名美国单口相声演员吉米·杜兰特的招牌语
好消息 我想买的大电视放得进游戏房 Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room,
而且如果我不拉上窗帘 and if I leave the curtains open,
我工作时都能看得到 I can watch it from work.
你能缓一缓改装那房间的事吗 Hey, can you hold off redoing the room?
我哥过几周会来这里 My brother's coming out here in a few weeks.
行啊 没问题 你哥哥怎么了 Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. What's going on with your brother?
我爸让我帮忙把他弄进我们公司面试 My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
你确定这是个好主意吗 Is that a good idea?
你觉得他们会愿意让 I mean, you think they'll consider someone
坐过牢的人去卖药丸吗 who was in prison for selling drugs?
我卖的是药品 Well, I sell pharmaceuticals.
是药丸的高档版 That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
我相信他也会很庆幸以后工作 Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate
"药"的样品能用公事包装 而不是塞菊花里 carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.
你觉得他会住多久呢 How long do you think he'll stay?
不确定啊 可能几天吧 I-I'm not sure. Maybe a few days.
除非他面试过了 那我就说不准了 Unless he gets the job, then who knows?
"说不准" 真让人激动啊 "Who knows?" That's exciting.
我可以每天早上醒来 I'll get to wake up every morning
看他是否还在 and see if he's still here.
你不会是有意见吧 You don't have a problem with this, do you?
当然没有 他是你哥嘛 Of course not. I mean, he's your brother.
谢谢 你最好了 Okay. Thank you, you're the best.
新电视从墙上掉下来砸死我们时 Remember that when the new TV falls off the wall
记住这点 and crushes us both.
这东西真酷 This thing's pretty cool.
利用无线信号 It interprets emotions
分析呼吸和心率的细微变化 using a wireless signal to analyze subtle changes
来解读情绪 in breathing and heart rate.
机器可以做到这点 太厉害了 It's amazing a machine can do that.
是的 Yes.
以后机器人叛变 Now, when the robots rise up,
他们会知道一直以来我都是支持他们的 they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time.
显示器和你的手机同步了 The display is synced to your phone.
来试试 Give it a try.
好的 All right.
我会看一些照片 Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures
激发情绪反应 我们来看看 to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see
这台机器能否准确识别 if the machine can identify them accurately.
记住 它只能检测到开心 伤心 Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad,
生气和激动 angry and excited.
不是其他那种复杂感觉 比如 Not other things you're feeling, like,
"我这辈子都干了些啥啊" "What have I done with my life?"
好的 我在看第一张照片 Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
你 You are...
开心 happy?
我在看小狗 Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
有人无视了它们小小尖尖的牙齿 Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth,
不过算了 but all right.
-换一张 -好的 - Try another one. - Okay.
它说我的感觉是什么 What does it say I'm feeling?
伤心 Sad.
是的 我在看我奶奶的照片 Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
这就对了 因为她去世了 你想念她 Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
是的 Yes.
你担心以后颈部也会像她那样松弛 And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future.
现在它说你很生气 What, now, see... Now it says you're mad.
别转换得这么快行吗 Make up your mind.
好的 艾米丽 Okay, Emily.
很好 Yeah, sounds great.
到时见 See you then.
是你的前女友艾米丽吗 Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?
是的 我请所有前女友齐聚一堂 Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together
讨论她们为什么和我分手 in order to discuss why they broke up with me
我怎么能成为一名更棒的男友 and how I can be a better boyfriend.
老天 你真这样做啊 Oh, God. You went through with that?
你什么毛病啊 What is wrong with you?
我们将寻找出答案 We are going to find out.
你为什么这样做 拉杰 Why would you do that, Raj?
我希望得到令我改进的信息 Well, I want information in order to improve myself.
你不会得到信息 You're not gonna get information,
你只会得到伤害你感情的批评 you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
别担心 我是个大男人 Don't worry, I'm a grown man.
我脸皮很厚的 I have a thick skin.
你真蠢 You're so stupid.
干嘛啦 Hey!
你看下我哥的简历好吗 Hey, would you take a look at my brother's résumé?
我在帮他写得漂亮一点 I'm trying to help him clean it up a little.
好的 Yeah, sure.
他真的和缉毒署合作过吗 He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
他在戴上手铐前不知道 那也算 He didn't know it till he was cuffed, but yeah.
莱纳德 如果你开心你会知道 Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it,
不需要拍手[儿歌] no need to clap your hands,
因为我有情绪解读机 because I have an emotion detector.
用着怎么样 How's it working out?
出奇好 Surprisingly well.
真好 我为你开心 That's great, I'm happy for you.
等等 No, wait, uh, hold on.
你是真开心啊 真是好人 Oh, what, you are. Aren't you sweet?
这是什么 你在写简历吗 What's that? Are you working on your resume?
不 是我哥的 No, it's my brother's. I'm trying
我想帮他在这里找工作 to help him get a job out here.
这令莱纳德生气了 And that makes Leonard angry.
没有 No, it doesn't.
拜托 莱纳德 生气的表情我还是认识的 What, Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it.
手机上这个红色皱眉的家伙代表生气 It's this red frowny guy on my phone.
怎么 我哥要来你很生气吗 What? Are you really upset about Randall coming?
-没有 -有 - No. - Yes.
-我说了没有 -它和你的表情完全一样好吗 - I said no. - I-It's like you're twins.
莱纳德 如果你生气 直接告诉我 Leonard, if you're mad about this, just tell me.
好吧 Fine.
你邀请你的毒贩哥哥来和我们一起住 You invited your drug dealer brother to stay with us
天知道住多长时间 却事先根本没问过我 for God knows how long and didn't bother to ask me first.
他是我哥 He's my brother!
我不觉得我需要你的允许 I didn't think I needed your permission.
瞧 现在她也生气了 Well, hey. Now she's angry, too.
这东西太牛逼了 This thing works like gangbusters.
我不是说你必须得到我的允许 I'm not saying you have to ask my permission,
但你在答应前 but you could have talked to me about it
好歹知会我一声吧 before you said it was okay.
像你知会我 你的游戏室那样吗 Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
我们的游戏室 Our gaming room!
我还打算往里摆一个香薰蜡烛呢 I was gonna put a scented candle in it.
他还在生气 He's still mad.
别幸灾乐祸 Stop enjoying their fight.
你好意思说我 You first.
如果你这么不高兴 If you were this upset,
我告诉你时 你为什么不说 why didn't you say so when I told you?
因为我不想表现得像混蛋一样 Because I didn't want to sound like a jerk.
你现在就是个混蛋 我不觉得 Well, you sound like one now. I don't see the big deal
我哥来住一段时间有什么大不了的 if my brother comes and stays for a while.
如果你帮他找到工作 他会永远住在这里 If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
他会自己找住处 He would get his own place.
他这辈子有过自己的住处吗 Has he ever had his own place?
有过 Yes!
床边就是金属马桶吗[牢房] Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
那...也算啊 It still counts.
这和你逼我与谢尔顿一起住 You know, how is this any different
有什么区别 from you making me live with Sheldon?
你...太伤人了 You... Hey!
人家的蜂蜜坚果脆谷乐都跟你分享了 I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
你每个月底都给我账单好嘛 You gave me a bill at the end of every month.
别在这里瞎掺和 Stay out of this.
这事就是你和你那台烂机器挑起来的 You and your stupid machine started this fight!
你该庆幸这台情感机器 You are lucky that this feelings machine
不具备任何情感 doesn't have feelings.
好了 谢尔顿 咱们走吧 Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
乐意至极 我们可以摔门而去吗 Gladly. Can we storm out?
你说出来就失去了震撼效果了 I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
好吧 Fine.
那我就对他们比那根手指吧 I'll just give them the finger.
好了 首先 Okay, first off,
感谢各位大驾光临 I want to thank you all so much for coming.
霍华德将为艾米丽担任手语翻译 Howard is here to interpret for Emily,
初登场第5季第4集 是聋哑人士
同时负责记笔记 and to take notes.
不 他不觉得这样做很傻逼 No, he doesn't think it's stupid.
先说一下 由于你们俩都叫艾米丽 Uh, heads up, both of you are named Emily,
所以我们称你为"红发艾米丽" so we'll call you "Red-headed Emily"
初登场第7集第17集 是皮肤科医生
而你是"红发艾米丽2号" and you, "Red-headed Emily, Junior."
当初和他交往的人是你不是我 Hey, you went out with him. I didn't.
好了 我们开始吧 Okay, uh, let's get things started.
我们先轮流来 Um, why don't we go around the room,
介绍你的名字 say your name,
以及和我分手的原因 and why you broke up with me.
你想先开始吗 Want to kick it off?
好的 我叫露西 Oh, okay. Um... I'm Lucy,
初登场第6季第16集
我和拉杰分手是因为 and I broke up with Raj
我患有严重的社会焦虑症 because I have severe social anxiety,
而他总是强行将我置于 and he kept trying to force me
非常尴尬的境地 into uncomfortable situations.
比如现在这样吗 Like this one?
没错 Yeah.
的确如此 I did do that.
我有时对别人的底线不太敏感 I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries.
霍华德 你能帮我记下来吗 Howard, would you write that down?
脑子进水 记好了 Oh... schmuck. Got it.
下一位 Uh, next?
好的 Okay. Um...
我叫克莱尔 I'm Claire.
初登场第9季第14集 是位酒保
我想我和你分手的原因 And I guess I broke up with you
主要是你太黏人了 because you were just really needy.
而且你还非常虚荣 Also, you were incredibly vain--
比如你花了好多时间 like, all the time you spent
修你的眉型... shaping your eyebrows...
新规则 每个人只能说一条 Okay, new rule-- everybody only gets one.
下一个 Uh, next?
我不知道自己能不能 Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable
在霍华德面前说出我们交往的细节 sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard.
他是来支持我的 你什么都可以 He's here to support me, so anything you have to say
在他面前说 you can say in front of him.
好吧 每次我俩上床时... Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed...
霍华德 滚出去 Howard, get out.
门都没有 Not a chance.
刚才你说到拉杰床上功夫相当烂 So, you were telling us how Raj was terrible in bed.
谢尔顿 晚饭做好了 Sheldon, dinner's ready.
我做了牛肉糜卷 因为我知道 I made beef loaf, because I know you're uncomfortable
你不喜欢菜名含糊的肉糜卷 with the non-specificity of meat loaf.
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
你没事吧 Hey, are you okay?
人家很不好 Not really.
你怎么了 What's going on?
我真希望自己没用过那机器 I wish I never tried that device.
我知道上次用过按摩椅后 我也说了同样的话 And I know I said the same thing after the massage chair,
但这次我是认真的 but this time I mean it.
我很抱歉莱纳德和佩妮伤害了你的感情 I'm sorry Leonard and Penny hurt your feelings.
比那个严重多了 It's more than that.
是我的问题 It's me.
我一直都知道 I always knew
自己在解读别人情绪方面有困难 I had trouble recognizing other people's emotions,
但机器把这个问题凸显了出来 but that machine just made it so real.
每个人都有需要帮助的问题 Well, everybody has things that they need help with.
比如我 我摘了眼镜就看不清楚 Like me-- I can't see without my glasses.
现在我看你就是一个可爱的粉团子 And right now you're just a, a cute, pink smudge wearing
裹着一身孩子气的绿团子 a childish green smudge.
我以为自己有所改善了 结果并没有 I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
你改善很多了 Yes, you are.
好几次我不开心时 There have definitely been days
你都看出来了 when I was sad and you could tell.
但那就像是瓮中捉鳖 手到擒来 Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel.
你本身就是个悲伤聚合体 You're kind of a sad sack.
抱歉 我不该怎么说 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
我只是很难过 I'm just upset.
不 你看 No, see, right there,
你能觉察到你伤了我的心 you knew you hurt my feelings.
我真为你骄傲 And I'm proud of you--
我之所以老悲伤肯定是受我爸影响 for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.
如果你不喜欢那台机器 And if you don't like
就不要用了 that machine, get rid of it.
因为我爱的就是原来的你 Because I love you exactly the way you are.
我对你也是这种感觉 I feel the same way about you.
现在把你的眼镜带上 Now, put your glasses back on.
你看起来怪怪的 You look weird.
我觉得你很好 I thought you were great,
但是 我的妈呀 but, oh, my God, you were
你被你父母控制得太多了 so dominated by your parents.
没错 这点经常让我抓狂 Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts.
他这人有点妈宝男 He's kind of a mama's boy.
-岂止有一点 -好了 - Kind of? - Whoa, okay!
够了 That's enough.
你就写"惹人爱的好儿子" Write down "Loving son."
我可以说两句吗 Can I just say something?
和拉杰交往 Going out with Raj
是我遇到的最幸运的事 was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
很好 我愿意和你复合 Yes, I'll take you back.
让我说完 Let me finish.
感觉就像因为跟他交往了之后 It's like I needed to go through that experience
我才知道我不想要什么样的男人 to know what exactly I don't want in a man.
这话真伤人 不过我还是愿意和你复合 Well, that's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back.
我也有这种感觉 You know, the same thing happened to me.
我和拉杰分手后 我遇到了盖瑞 After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary,
他简直太棒了 who's just amazing.
打扰下 拼写是一个R还是两个 Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two?
别写了好吗 Would you stop writing?!
慢着 你们所有人 Just wait. So... did all of you
在和我分手后 都有了更美好的恋情吗 go on to better relationships after me?
是的 Oh, yeah.
毫无疑问 Without question.
我是在分手前就有了 Little before, actually.
你可得牢牢抓住他 Don't let him get away.
慢着 她说什么 Wait. What did she say?
可以这样说 甩了你 Uh, basically, she traded you
换来个蝙蝠侠 for Bruce Wayne.
我们还是到此结束吧 Okay, maybe we should just end this.
慢着 Wait, hang on.
我想为在座各位指出 I just want to point out to everyone here,
这个男人竭尽全力 this is a man who is going to great lengths
想让自己更优秀 to better himself.
甚至冒着 Even at the risk of...
被羞辱的风险 being humiliated.
至少我觉得这样做很勇敢 And I, for one, think that's very brave.
谢谢你 霍华德 Thank you, Howard.
说实话 我很意外你俩没有开花结果 Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together.
和你们一样 我得先经历他这场风雨 Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him
才能找到我老婆这道彩虹 to find Bernadette.
偶也希望速你啊 Wish it were you.
什么事 Yes?
我们应该向你道歉 We owe you an apology.
没事啦 你需要手提箱 Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase,
我不在家 你就借走个手提箱嘛 I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
那是六年前的事了 我说的是今晚 That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
我以为按时间先后顺序来道歉 Well, I thought we were going in order.
我俩之间刚好世界大战爆发 Look, we got really angry at each other,
而你正好撞上了 and you just got caught in the middle of it.
还有 And...
手提箱的事很抱歉 sorry about the suitcase.
道歉是应该的 Yeah, well, you should be.
里面还有你的袜子 Your socks were still in it.
我只能扔了 I had to throw it away.
总之 Anyway,
我相信你们已经解决了矛盾 I, uh, trust that you've resolved your conflict.
是 我们没事了 Yes, we're fine.
佩妮会打电话给她爸爸说 Mm, Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not
他哥现在来时机不太好 a good time for Randall to visit.
只希望他不会生气 Hopefully, he won't be too upset.
你是他的小棉袄 他哪能气你多久 Oh, you're his little girl-- he can't stay mad at you.
他当然不会生我的气 He won't be mad at me.
是你不想让我哥来 所以... I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so...
所以你想让我背黑锅吗 So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
我会让你背个大大的黑锅 Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard,
那锅大到可以给全村做饭了 I might actually win a stuffed animal.
两位 听起来你们又生气了 Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.
那是因为这是事实 That's because we are.
太好了 Yes!
我不需要情绪解读机 I don't need an emotion machine!
我就是情绪解读机 I am one!
多谢了 女士们 太有意思了 Thanks, ladies! This was fun!
下次的诡异尴尬夜 别让我们期待太久哦 Let's not wait so long for another bizarre, awkward night.
真是浪费时间 Well, that was a waste of time.
我真是白痴 I'm such an idiot.
别这么自责 Don't beat yourself up.
批评你是我的工作 That's what I'm here for.
也许我不该定下来 Maybe I won't settle down.
也许我要在花丛中过一过 Maybe I'll just play the field.
花丛刚才就在这屋里 Yeah, the field was just here.
花丛拒绝了 The field said no.
兄弟 拜托 Dude, come on.
这样吧 Okay, I'll tell you what.
我们约好 I'll make you a deal.
三十年后 如何你依然单身 30 years from now, if you're still single
而我和伯纳黛特也离婚了 and things don't work out with me and Bernadette...
咱俩可以试试 you and I can give it a go.
感谢你的好意 但如果你俩离婚了 I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two,
我一定像秃鹰一样扑向她 I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.
太迟了 斯图尔特先订了 Too late. Stuart called dibs.
从理论上说 如果我们 But theoretically, if you and I
是同志关系 were in a gay relationship,
我们怎么告诉大家 how would we tell people?
贴出公告吗 Like, print up announcements?
我不知道 贴了公告会有区别吗 I don't know. What difference does it make?
我希望所有同志游行都能邀请我们 Well, I want to make sure we get invited to all the parades.
听起来的确有趣 Those do look fun.
是啊 如果你想穿网眼露脐装游行 Yeah. Well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top,
你最好别碰蘸酱 you better lay off that dip.
如果你不想让我吃 If you didn't want me to eat it,
-为什么摆出来 -是给姑娘们的 - why'd you put it out? - It was for the girls.
她们甩了我 我才不管她们是否会长胖 They broke up with me-- I don't care if they get fat.
我不会长胖的 I'm not gonna get fat.
想打赌吗 你从来不锻炼 Oh, you want to bet? You never exercise.
瞧着 我现在就锻炼 Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now.
一 One...
二 two...
对了 这是仰卧起坐[很脆] These are crunches, by the way.
真够成熟的 Very mature.
继续这样吃 Keep eating like that.
你会发心脏病的 You're gonna have a heart attack.
好的 我这样吃呢 Okay. How about if I eat like this?
你真幼稚 You're such a child.
对你未来老公 你就这种态度吗 Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband?
我只是假设 Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay?
-我永远不会和你结婚的 -得了 - I would never marry you. - Please.
等你看到我选的求婚戒指时 你会感动到喷泪 When you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt.
想得美 Yeah, right.
是玫瑰金的吗 Wait, is it rose gold?
别告诉我 我想有个惊喜 Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised.
你最后把机器送回去了吗 So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
是的 我都不确定它的准度到底行不行 I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was.
我把它拿到火车商店 它说所有人都很伤心 I took it to the train store-- it said everyone was sad.
我终于把哈雷哄睡着了 I finally got Halley to sleep.
我刚看到有一项研究说 You know, I just read a study that suggests
初为人母的人在情绪感知方面 有两年的优势 new mothers are better at senseing emotions
比普通人多两年优势 for up to two years.
这是真的 It's ture.
怀孕引起大脑的生理变化 Pregnancy causes physiological change in the brain,
导致感同身受的能力增加 and resulting increase empathetic.
原来我们只需要搞大谢尔顿的肚子就行 So all we need to do is got Shledon knocked up.
不行 我在动物收容所找到他时 他已经被阉了 Can't. He's already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
伯纳黛特 我们来测试下这一理论 Hey, Bernadette, let's test this theory.
你觉得我现在有什么感受 What're you thinking I'm feeling right now?
来看看 Let's see.
你比我们优秀 You're better than us?
有点可怜我们 A little bit sorry for us?
但最主要是开心不必成为我们这样的人 But mostly gald you don't have to be us.
接着让她大肚子 她真厉害 Keep filling this one with baby, she's good.