《生活大爆炸》前情提要 Previously on count The Big Bang Theory...
我们邀请你们来 其实还有其他原因 Uh, we sort of have another reason for asking you here.
我们想要个孩子 We want to have a baby,
但我们自己没法生 but we can't do it on our own.
等一下 等一下 等一下 Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
今晚很愉快 Yeah, this has been such a nice evening.
我们在有人说出更多话之前结束吧 Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things.
莱纳德 你愿意当我们小孩的父亲吗 Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?
你开口说话了 Oh, you said a thing.
时至今日
再次谢谢你们愿意答应这件事 Thank you, guys, again for agreeing to do this.
对我们来说意义十分重大 Yeah, it means so much to us.
我们也很高兴能帮上忙 Ah, we're happy we can help.
而且我们完全不觉得有哪里怪 Yeah, and we don't find it weird at all.
我们也有一点点觉得怪啦 It's a little weird for us, too.
毕竟我们的宝宝不会像扎克 I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack,
而是会像莱纳德 it's gonna look like Leonard.
如果是女孩会像佩妮 Or Penny if it's a girl.
不 不会像... No, no, it's not gonna look...
是啦 Sure.
但是我保证 But I promise,
我们会是很好的父母 we're gonna be really good parents.
我们知道 Oh, we know you will.
-所以下一步是什么呢 -是啊 - So, what is the next step? - ‭Yeah.
莱纳德 我们希望你能周一去诊所 Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.
可以 Okay.
他们的人说 想要最好的结果 And they say, for the best results,
现在到那时中间 你最好不要发生性关系 between now and then, you shouldn't have sex.
抱歉啦 兄弟 Sorry, bro,
我知道5天不"那个"仿佛是不可能的任务 I know it seems impossible to go for five days without,
但我相信你能行 but I believe in you.
5天算个屁 我的最长记录是24年 Five days? My record is 24 years.
我想那也包含独自"驾驶飞机" Uh, I think that also means no flying solo.
这样啊 Oh.
那我的最长记录是14年 Then my record is 14 years.
我们很希望有个儿子 And, well, we're really hoping for a son.
所以到时候记得脑子里多想着这件事 So just, like, keep that in mind when you're in there.
就一直想着"小男孩 小男孩" Yeah, just think, "little boys, little boys."
还是一点都"不怪异"呢 Still just totally not weird.
大家好 Hello.
谢尔顿 我们这有点事情在谈 Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of in the middle of something.
不会打扰太久 我就是来从书架高处 Oh, I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book
拿一本书 而这事我完全没问题 off a high shelf, which I can do
因为我本人又高又聪明 because I am both tall and smart.
谢尔顿 给我回家 Sheldon, come home!
人家才不要你的种 They don't want to have your baby!
我不知道你是在说什么鬼 I don't know what you're talking about.
妈呀 好像有东西跑到我的眼里了 Oh-oh, dear, I think I got something in my eye.
是我犀利的蓝眼珠 My piercing, blue eye.
-谢尔顿 -行 - Sheldon! ‭- Fine.
我也从没有过蛀牙 也没有犯过哮喘 I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma...
生
活
大
爆
炸
第十二季 第十五集
我的婚礼本来应该在这周进行 So, this week would have been my wedding
我是说如果安努跟我没决定要慢慢来的话 if Anu and I hadn't decided to slow things down.
本来我估计也会忘了这事 Oh, yeah, I would have forgotten,
但我不能退钱的飞印度机票不停在提醒我 except for those nonrefundable airline tickets to India I bought.
对不起嘛 I'm sorry.
没事 与友情相比 3千块算什么呢 No, no. What's $3,000 between friends?
反正那钱本来我估计 Yeah, I probably would've just
也就是浪费在我孩子的卫生保健上嘛 thrown it away on health care for my children.
如果你还想去 你可以飞去印度 Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India
帮忙我老爸吃掉无法退钱的寿司啊 and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
印度寿司吗 Indian sushi?
光想到我都感觉内裤上喷了屎 得换了 I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.
我真觉得我与她的这决定是对的 I really think we made the right decision.
同意 虽然我本来筹备好了 Agreed, although I did have
在这周末举办一场永生难忘的单身汉派对 a pretty awesome bachelor party planned for this weekend.
真的吗 有什么节目 Really? What was it?
我动用了我太空总署的关系 Well, I used my NASA connections
弄到了4张能让人体验 to get us four seats on that plane
失重状态的飞机机票 that lets you experience weightlessness.
15段失重体验的机票大概是5000美金一人 包机价约是16万5千美金
呕吐彗星号吗 太酷了吧 The Vomit Comet. That is so cool.
我一直都很想体验失重状态 I've always wanted to experience weightlessness.
我人生中最接近失重的一次情况 The closest I ever came was that time
是我不小心把体重计从磅切成了公斤 I accidentally set my scale to kilograms.
1磅是0.45公斤 根据拉杰演员的体重资料 他大约是136磅 也就是62公斤
是啊 本来应该会很好玩 I know, it would've been fun, but, hey,
没事 你下次要娶不太熟的女人时还有机会 the next time you decide to marry a woman you barely know.
我们还是可以去啊 We could still go.
就以好兄弟聚会的名义 You know, make it a guys' weekend.
可以啊 那我们就去吧 Yeah. All right, let's do it.
很好 就像我们以前的黄金岁月 Great. It'll be like the good old days.
你是指我们一票人又衰又饥渴还单身到死吗 You mean when we were all sad, desperate and horribly alone?
我记忆的版本比较美好 I remember it more fondly.
莱纳德 如果你脸上沾到吃的 Leonard, if you had food on your face,
你会希望我告诉你吗 would you want me to tell you?
哪里 我弄下来了吗 Where? Did I get it?
不是现在啦 是上周有沾到过 Oh, no, not now; it was last week.
我不知道到底该不该告诉你 I didn't know whether or not to tell you,
但当时大家都在盯着你看 but everyone was staring.
我就说一下 当时是这里沾到 For the record, it was right there.
沾到了榛果巧克力酱 And it was Nutella.
谢谢你全家啊 Thanks.
你看起来像榛果希特勒 You looked like a hazelnut Hitler.
谁想听听一个大好消息啊 Hey, who wants to hear some exciting news?
什么消息 Oh, what's up?
我给大家搞到了4张这周末上呕吐彗星号的票 This weekend, I got us four seats on the Vomit Comet.
"呕吐"就让我失去兴致 "彗星"二字又再失一次 Oh, you lost me at "vomit," You lost me again at "comet,"
而且说实话 你说到"大家"时我就犹豫了 and to be honest, I was on the fence at "us."
我也去不了 我岳父要从内布拉斯加来看我们 Yeah, I can't go either. Penny's dad is visiting from Nebraska,
我也有好一段时间没跟他见面了 and I haven't seen him for a while.
你们能相处得来挺好的 Oh, that's nice you guys get along.
霍华德 我有点忘了 你岳父还恨你吗 I forget, Howard, does your father-in-law still hate you?
他才没有恨我 He doesn't hate me.
他只是有些失望 He's just disappointed
我不是这星球上任何一个别的男人 that I'm not any other man on the planet.
我对本·阿弗莱克演的蝙蝠侠也是这感觉 Tht's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman.
该知名演员所演的蝙蝠侠收到了颇多差评
这两个人不来 Well, these two are out.
好兄弟聚会周末也没戏唱了 There goes our guys' weekend.
那就改成情侣周末怎么样 Okay, so let's make it a couples' weekend.
我带安努 你带伯纳黛特 I'll bring Anu, you bring Bernadette.
我不确定妮妮会不会喜欢 I'm not sure Bernie would like it.
或许我可以邀请斯图尔特或伯特 Maybe I'll invite Stuart or Bert.
邀请伯特吧 Oh, go with Bert!
他很魁梧 看他漂浮起来应该挺有意思 He's huge. It'd be fun to watch him float around.
就像有一年梅西百货感恩节游行 Like that time the Underdog balloon
游行中的其中一个造型大气球飘走了一样 got away at the Macy's Parade.
那些是什么啊 Hey. What are those?
维他命 Oh, vitamins.
扎克想要我吃这些来提升生殖力 Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility.
扎克用了"生殖力"这词吗 Zack used the word "virility"?
他可能用的词是"鸡鸡力" He may have said "wiener power."
我爸到了 Okay, that's my dad.
记得 千万别提任何宝宝的事情 Now, remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, all right?
别提我不想要孩子 也别提你要帮扎克生 Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zack.
-懂了 -如果他提起 就换话题 - Got it. - ‭And if he brings it up, change the subject
-换任何话题都行 -懂了 - to literally anything else. - I got it.
但别提剥玉米人 绝对别聊剥玉米人 But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
那是体育队伍[当地橄榄球队]吗 Is that a sports team?
没事了 你没问题 Never mind, you're good.
-老爸 -你好啊 小宝贝 - Daddy! - Hi. Hey, Slugger.
-你好啊 怀亚特 -莱纳德 - Hey, Wyatt. - ‭Leonard.
握手很有力呢 Hey, that's a hell of a handshake.
你懂的 我最近有在吃维他命 Ah, well, you know, I've been taking vitamins.
老爸 进来坐下吧 Dad, uh, come on in, sit down.
要喝什么吗 给你来瓶啤酒吗 Can I get you something to drink? Maybe a beer?
-没问题 你喝我就喝 -行 - Sure, if you're having one. - Okay.
你怎么会不喝呢 你又没怀孕 And why wouldn't you, since you're not pregnant?
莱纳德想帮我前任扎克生孩子 Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend Zack.
剥玉米人队最近怎么样啦 How 'bout those Cornhuskers?
你介意我这周末跟拉杰出去玩吗 Hey, would you mind if Raj and I went away this weekend?
你们俩保持爱情的火花的确挺重要 Well, it is important for you two to keep the spark alive.
不是啦 只是我当时帮他筹办了单身汉派对 No, just the bachelor party I had planned.
安都安排了 就还是去玩嘛 I thought we'd do it anyway.
那就是男人周末啦 Oh, so a guys' weekend?
算是吧 不过谢尔顿和莱纳德去不了 Kinda. I mean, Sheldon and Leonard couldn't make it,
所以拉杰邀请了安努 我叫上了斯图尔特 so Raj invited Anu and I asked Stuart.
等等 你先邀请斯图尔特而不是我吗 Wait, you invited Stuart before me?
其实我在斯图尔特前先邀请了伯特 Actually, I invited Bert before Stuart,
但我不知道自己为什么要告诉你 but I don't know why I just told you that.
你为什么不邀请我 Why didn't you invite me?
因为我了解你啊 Because I know you.
你才不想在飞机里失重漂浮呢 You don't want to float weightless in an airplane.
你说什么蠢话啊 What are you talking about?
我可喜欢做那种疯狂事了 I love doing crazy stuff like that.
妮妮 你上次玩迪士尼的旋转茶杯都不舒服 Bernie, you got sick from the teacup ride at Disneyland.
很多人都会啊 Lots of people do.
我们当时还在排队 还没开始玩呢 We were still in line.
所以你不想我去吗 So you don't want me to go?
不 我想你去啊 只要你能玩得开心 No, I want you to go if you're gonna have fun.
如果你到时一脸生无可恋 扫了大家的兴 I don't want you to go if you're gonna be miserable
我就不想你去了 and ruin it for everyone.
我绕了那么一大圈就是要说 我想你去啊 Which is a long way of saying I want you to go!
我觉得进行得挺顺利的 对吧 I think this is going pretty good, huh?
对你来说也许吧 你把我丢出去当替死鬼 Maybe for you. You threw me under the bus.
对不起 我慌了嘛 他当时在怼我 Oh, I'm sorry. I panicked. He was judging me.
现在他把矛头指向我了 Well, yeah, now he's judging me.
我知道 我的妙计见效了 I know. It worked.
你俩要么大声点 要么小声点 You two might want to talk louder or quieter.
上高中那会 我躲衣橱用毯子蒙头开啤酒 In high school, he could hear me open a can of beer
他都能听见 in my closet under a blanket.
我把情况捋一捋 莱纳德 So let me get this straight, Leonard.
她不想给你生孩子 She doesn't want to have your baby,
但她的傻蛋前男友想要你的孩子 but her dumbbell ex-boyfriend does.
我... 不 我是不会这么说啦 Well, I-- no, I wouldn't say it like that.
那你会怎么说 How would you say it?
句子一样 只是没那么大怒气 Uh, same words, just less angry.
我不知道洛杉矶这里怎么样 Well, I don't know about Los Angeles,
但在内布拉斯加 这种事挺奇怪的 but in Nebraska, that's kind of strange.
在这里也很奇怪 这里还有给狗去的面包店呢 It's strange here, too, and we have a bakery for dogs.
你对这事没意见吗 And you're okay with this?
-我支持我的丈夫 -谢谢你 - I support my husband. ‭- Thank you.
但如果你有异议 But, you know, if you think differently,
你应该直接说出来的 you should feel free to say so.
大吼大叫 掀翻屋顶那样 You know, just like, "Ah!" Make a scene.
听我说 他们自己生不出小孩 Okay, look, they can't have kids of their own,
他们喜欢我很聪明这一点 and they like that I'm smart,
于是希望自己孩子能有这个优点 and they want that for their child.
不 我懂 No, I get it.
你懂 You do?
当然 Sure.
以前在农场 我们有一匹获奖骏马 Back on the farm, we had a prize stallion.
我们可没浪费它的优秀基因 让它疯狂交配播种 We didn't let that just go to waste; we put him out to stud.
不不 这事 这事有点不一样 No, no, this is... this is a little different than that...
不 等等 等等 No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
你刚把我比作一匹得奖骏马 继续 Uh, you were comparing me to a prize stud. Go on.
你跟你的新死党玩得开心吗 You have fun with your new best buddy?
你爸喜欢我 都是你的错 Hey, it's your fault your dad likes me.
谁让你以前交往的都是蠢蛋 You dated idiots your whole life.
他倒是说对了一件事 Well, he was right about one thing.
我嫁给了一匹种马 I am married to a stud. ‭
真的吗 Mm. Really?
真的 我为出卖了你感到很内疚 Yeah, I felt so bad about selling you out,
我想好好补偿你 I thought I would maybe make it up to you.
等一下 不行 Wait, wait. I can't.
我是很想啦 I mean, I want to,
但我接下来三天都不应该"做" but I'm not supposed to for the next three days.
对哦 我忘了 Oh. That's right. I forgot.
好吧 那我只好看点书 All right, well, guess I'll just read a little
然后 我也不知道 去睡觉好了 and then-- I don't know-- go to sleep.
真的吗 你就穿这身睡觉 Really? That's what you're sleeping in?
你希望我脱掉吗 Oh, you want me to take it off?
不 No.
好吧 那你闭嘴关"鸡" 让我安静看漫画吧 All right. Well, then pipe down and let me read my comic book.
佩妮 我知道你在干什么 Penny, I-I know what you're doing.
拜托你停止吧 Just please stop.
快听听这个 Ooh, listen to this.
"砰" "Bam."
"嘭" "Pow."
"接招吧 蝙蝠侠" "Take that, Batman."
谢谢你们为我安排了这个 Thanks again for doing this, guys.
-不客气 -我很期待 - Of course. ‭- So excited.
你也来了 真好 I'm glad you came.
听霍华德之前的语气 这好像不是你的菜 Howard made it sound like this wasn't your kind of thing.
他是那么说了 但我来了 He did say that, but here I am.
所以他知道个屁 So what does he know?
抱歉 我只是 I'm sorry. I just...
以为你不会喜欢以时速643公里的速度 didn't think you'd enjoy plummeting to the Earth
垂直栽下地球 at 400 miles an hour.
我很喜欢高速 I love going fast,
不像这位老奶奶 unlike Grandma here,
开车时速才112公里 像蜗牛爬 poking along at 70 miles an hour.
对不对 Am I right?
我一直都想玩这个 I've always wanted to do this.
我就喜欢玩刺激 I'm an adrenaline junkie.
过山车 单板滑雪 Roller coasters, snowboarding,
跟和自家狗狗一起洗澡的男人约会 dating men who bathe with their dogs.
那时干旱缺水嘛 It was during a drought.
我也喜欢寻求刺激 I'm a thrill-seeker, too.
当妈之后我不得不有所收敛 I've had to pull back since I became a mom,
但我还是会跳上超市购物车 but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart
一路风驰电掣滑过肉类区 and just roll through the meat section.
而我娶了这位英雌 And I'm married to her,
所以我的人生也是充满刺激 which is quite the ride.
艾米 Amy?
客厅里有个东西 There's something out here.
用杯子把它罩住 Just trap it under a cup,
我马上就来 and I'll be there in a minute.
我尽力试试 不过那是莱纳德 I'll try, but it's Leonard.
什么 What?
他怎么会在我们家 Well, what is he doing here?
我说过了 把披萨留在料理台上 I told you, if we left pizza on the counter,
就会引来其他生物 we'd attract something.
早啊 两位 Oh, hey, guys.
抱歉 我用我钥匙进来的 Sorry. I used my key.
我需要找个地方借住 I just needed a place to crash.
没出什么事吧 Is everything okay?
没事 我... Yeah, I...
必须离开自家公寓 had to get out of the apartment.
我妻子一直想跟我上床 My wife kept trying to have sex with me.
我也经历过 Been there.
你为什么不想上床 Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
我们三周前才做过啊 Well, we just did it three weeks ago. ‭
我是在问莱纳德 I was talking to Leonard!
我周一得去诊所 Well, I-I have to go to the clinic
给扎克和玛丽莎提供"材料" for Zack and Marissa on Monday,
在那之前我应该保存"精"力 and I'm supposed to save myself until then.
听起来佩妮也许并不完全同意这个计划 Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.
她说她同意的 Well, she said she was.
但她也说过我看起来酷到炸裂 But she also said I looked dope.
老实说 我觉得自己连酷毙都算不上 Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly.
这么说即使她对这事持保留意见 So you're willing to go through with this,
你还是执意去做吗 even though she clearly has reservations?
如果她有不满 If she has a problem,
她应该说出来的 she should say something.
她都试图勾引你上床了 She tried to seduce you.
如果那不是求助的呐喊 If that's not a cry for help,
我都不知道还有什么能算了 I don't know what is.
佩妮不想生孩子 Penny doesn't want to have kids.
我尊重这一点 I respect that.
但这是我留下自己血脉的机会 But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.
好吧 但这不会让你成为父亲 Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad.
那会是他们的孩子 不是你的 It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
不过 有一天 Although, someday,
如果那孩子想知道自己为什么个子矮 if that kid wants to know why he's short,
近视 还有哮喘 nearsighted, and asthmatic...
他可能会来找你 ...he may hunt you down.
你们准备好迎接这辈子最激烈的体验了吗 Are you guys ready for the most intense experience of your life?
-是的 -当然 - Yes. - Definitely.
不是吹牛 但我是宇航员 Not to brag, but I'm an astronaut,
以前体验过失重 so I've been weightless before.
那可是相当可怕 Can be pretty scary.
拜托 我才40公斤 Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds.
每次拿着三个以上气球就能体验失重 I'm weightless every time I hold more than three balloons.
好的 我只是需要你们签免责书 Okay, I just need you guys to sign these waivers,
然后就可以换衣服了 and then you can go get changed.
好多页啊 There are a lot of pages here.
这是免责书还是你写的剧本 Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on?
我相信这只是走个流程啦 I'm sure it's just boilerplate.
当然 只是在你们万一受伤的情况下 我们能免责 Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury.
上面写着"或死亡" It says, "or death."
那就太屌啦 Which is awesome.
-签好了 -更衣室在哪里 - Done. - Where are the changing rooms?
更衣室在后面 Dressing rooms are in the back.
不准偷看 No peeking.
给你 Here you go.
好了 要去换衣服吗 Okay. Should we go get changed?
是 稍等 Yeah. Hang on a second.
怎么了 What?
我家里有两个孩子 Just-- I have two babies at home.
我在干嘛 What am I doing?
如果你不想要玩 If you don't want to do this,
为什么要来 then why'd you come?
向霍华德证明他并不像他以为的 To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well
那样了解我 as he thinks he does.
看来他很了解 Looks like he does.
除非我做到了 那他就不了解我 Unless I do it and then he doesn't.
为什么不说实话呢 Why not just be honest?
你是对的 You're right.
我应该说实话 I should be honest.
你欠我去印度的3千块机票钱 You owe me $3,000 for those plane tickets to India!
你去跑了好久 That was a long run.
是啊 我本来专心在跑 Yeah. Well, I was in the zone.
然后去了小餐馆 You know, and then in a diner
然后是商场里的按摩椅 结果我睡着了 and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep.
你在躲我吗 Are you avoiding me?
我在热狗店旁边小睡了一会儿 Well, I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick.
你觉得呢 What do you think?
我觉得你是气我和莱纳德 I think you're mad at me and Leonard,
但也许 你是生你自己的气 but maybe... you're really mad at yourself.
我为什么生自己的气 Why would I be mad at myself?
因为你后悔你不要孩子的计划 'Cause you regret this "No baby" plan of yours.
你这样真的很烂耶 You know, it's pretty crappy of you
故意让我为这事难受 to make me feel bad about this.
我无意让你难受 I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
但是 你难受吗 But... do you?
是的 Yes.
我觉得自己让所有人失望了 I feel like I'm letting everybody down.
我讨厌让莱纳德失望 Hate disappointing Leonard,
但我真心讨厌让你失望 but I really hate disappointing you.
孩子 你永远不会让我失望 Oh, Slugger, you could never disappoint me.
好吧 你高中那几年我比较难熬 Okay, your high school years were a little rough.
我很抱歉 And I'm sorry about that.
你晚上偷偷溜出去 There was you sneaking out at night
你男友早上偷偷溜出去 and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning.
我道歉了 I said sorry.
还有一次你喝醉了偷了一匹马 That time you got drunk and stole a horse.
是 Yeah.
我在场 我记得 I was there. I remember.
记得一部分 Parts of it.
但除开这些 But besides all that,
做你父亲是我人生中最幸福的事 being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me.
那么兰德尔和丽莎呢 What about Randall and Lisa?
他们还行 They're okay.
我只是不希望你错过什么 I just don't want you to miss out.
我知道 I know.
但如果这是你真心想要的 But if this is really what you want--
或不要的 or don't want--
我支持你 I'm on your side.
谢谢 Thanks.
怀亚特 我们得谈谈 Uh, Wyatt, we need to talk.
好 什么事 Sure. What's up?
我希望你别插手 I want you to back off.
如果佩妮和我不要孩子 那是我们的事 You know? I-If Penny and I don't have kids, that's between us.
所以你不要插手 So you need to stay out of it.
莱纳德 没事了 我们谈过了 没事了 Oh, Leonard, it's okay. We talked. We're good.
你怎么不早点让我闭嘴 Okay, you could've stopped me sooner.
也可以让你继续说下去 Could've let you go longer.
表现不错 莱纳德 很有力度 You did great, Leonard. Very forceful.
是吗 Yeah?
我觉得我刚才声音有点抖 I-I-I felt like my voice was a little shaky there.
我决定不帮 Hey, I decided to not go through
扎克和玛丽莎了 with this Zack and Marissa thing.
真的吗 Really?
-但你那么期待 -我知道 - But you were so excited about it. - ‭I know.
但是 But, um...
我觉得我只是在骗自己 I think I was just fooling myself.
如果外面有我的孩子 而我不是他的父亲 I-I would be heartbroken if I had a kid out there
我会伤心死的 and I wasn't his dad.
我知道你会的 I know you would.
是的 Yeah.
昨晚你想做的事 So, that thing you wanted to do last night,
我现在能做了 I'm available.
我的听力非常好 种马 I got real good hearing there, stud.
好了 大家换好衣服了 All right, everyone's suited up.
我们去跑道 Let's head out to the tarmac!
稍等 Actually, one second.
华仔 我不应该这样做 Howie, I don't think I should do this.
是吗 Really?
我完全没想到会是这样 Well, I did not see that coming.
只是 我们有孩子 Just-- We have kids,
我们两人同时面对危险不明智 and it's not smart to put us both in danger.
有道理 That's a good point.
我小时候 父母从来不一起坐飞机 When I was little, my parents never flew together.
原以为那是因为他们爱我们 We thought it was because they loved us,
结果是因为他们憎恨彼此 but it turns out they hated each other.
瞧 See?
我觉得我不应该去 I just think I shouldn't go.
其实这比开车还要安全 Actually, this is much safer than driving a car.
滚一边儿去 飞仔 Stay out of it, flyboy!
你说得对 You're right.
我以前体验过了 But I've done this before.
既然你这么这么想去 And since you really, really want to go,
我留在这里 I'll stay here.
很好 Oh. Great.
除非你不想去 那我就是对的 我了解你 Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you.
如果你真了解我 Well, if you really know me,
你会知道我为了证明一件事能有多拼 then you know how far I'll go to prove a point.
能拼到飞上3万4千英尺的程度 再直接冲下来 ‭Apparently, 34,000 feet that way, then straight back down,
不停地上上下下 up and down, over and over again
直到你把没吃的东西吐出来 until you throw up food you didn't even eat.
他们绝对是你最奇怪的朋友 They are definitely your weirdest friends.
要是真这样就好了 If only that were true.
我恨死这个了 I hate this so much!
我为什么要这样做 Why am I doing this?!
为了向你老公证明一个愚蠢的观点 To prove a stupid point to your husband!
对 值了 Oh, right. Worth it.
扎克 Hey, Zack.
听我说 我知道你会失望 Um, look, I-I know this is gonna be disappointing,
但我做不到 but, um, I-I can't do this.
不不不 No, no, no, no.
我知道怎么"做" 就是做不到 I-I, I know how. I just can't.
但是 But, hey, look,
如果你愿意 i-if you like,
我知道谁可能有兴趣 I-I know someone who might be interested.
不 绝对不行 No! Absolutely not!
对不起 我老婆不准我这样做 I'm sorry, but my wife said I'm not allowed.