我什么都没看到 谢尔顿 I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
你是医生我听你的 但确实 老有烦人的声音在我耳边响 Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
没错 Me, too.
是一种高频的口哨声吗 Is it a high-frequency whistle?
不 是一种时刻不停的 No, it's more of a relentless,
自以为是的唠叨 narcissistic drone.
没有任何炎症 谢尔顿 Yup, there's no inflammation at all, Sheldon.
那我肯定得肿瘤了 Then it must be a tumor.
我深表怀疑 I Seriously doubt it.
也许是以前小时候常把头塞进马桶冲水 Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection
造成的永久性细菌感染 from all those childhood toilet swirlies.
真的会这样吗 我以前经常这么干的 Is that possible? I used to get those all the time.
甚至在教堂里 Even in church.
如果是因为这个的话 我倒有个办法 Well if it is from a swirly, there something I can do.
圈 圈 点 点 Okay, circle, circle, dot, dot,
虱子不再烦扰你[美国儿歌] now you have a cootie shot!
我去睡觉了 I'm going to bed
好的 我马上就来 Okay, I'll be right in.
她不光是在嘲笑我 而且 It's not enough that she mocks me, but that isn't even
把打预防针的流程也搞错了 the correct procedure for a cootie shot.
你知道斯蒂芬妮到这里来不是为了 Do you understand that Stephanie's not here
帮你治疗你那些臆想的毛病吧? to treat your imaginary ailments?
怎么可能是臆想 我老是听见一种高于中央C的八度音 How is it imaginary that I keep hearing an octave above Middle C?
这是臆想吗 Is that imaginary?
我看不是 I don't think so.
晚安 Good night.
莱纳德 还有件事 Leonard,there's one more thing.
根据我们的合租协议第一章第三段 Under Article One, Section Three of our Roommate Agreement,
我要召开一个紧急会议 I'm calling an emergency meeting.
你不是吧 No, you're not.
莱纳德提议不要开会 Leonard moves the meeting not occur.
有人同意么 没有 提议不予采纳 Is there a second? None heard, the motion fails.
在会议的开头 我想祝贺你 I'd like to begin the meeting by congratulating you
和斯蒂芬妮医生恋情有了进展 on the progress in your relationship with Dr. Stephanie.
谢谢 Thank you.
那也就是说 我们必须讨论 That being said, we have to discuss
对于"同居"附加条例的执行问题 the implementation of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider
因为你们两人现在 whichas been activated now that
已经住在一起了 the two of you are living together.
我们没有啊 We're not living together.
我有不同意见 I beg to disagree
某女性被认定为 "A girlfriend shall be deemed
跟莱纳德 前引号 同居 后引号 quote living with un-quote Leonard
的时间条件是 第一 连续十晚 when she has stayed over for A: ten consecutive nights,
或第二 三周之内超过九晚 or B: more than nine nights in three week period,
或第三 一个月之内的所有周末 or C: all the weekends of a given month
再加上三个非周末 plus three weeknights.
这太荒唐了 That's absurd.
你自己都签名了 看 莱 莱 莱 You initialed it. See? L.H., L.H., L.H.
我签名的原因是因为 我觉得这些条例永远都用不上的 Wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen!
我还签了一条 I initialed another clause
上面说如果我有超能力的话 就让你做我搭档 naming you my sidekick in case I get superpowers.
是啊 没错 Hmm, yes, you did.
我们再来温故一下需要执行哪些条例 Now, to review the following provisions are hereby activated:
在冰箱里 我们不能再使用 两个单人层和一个公用层了 In the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf,
现在我们三个人每人使用一层 然后冰箱门变作公用 the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal.
下一条 房间清扫工作 应从每周两次增加为每周三次 Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week
以解决日益增加的死皮细胞 to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells.
第三 厕所使用时间表 我了解到 Third,the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm given to understand
女人对厕所的用法有所不同 所以我们应该讨论一下 women have different needs, so, we'll have to discuss that.
我去睡觉了 I'm going to bed.
你至少也得把这带走吧 At least take this with you.
别忘了让斯蒂芬妮签名 这里 这里 这里 Look, and have Stephanie initial here, here, here, here...
还有 这里 and... here.
这一条规定 从现在起她不能 This states that she does not now
也不准计划演奏打击乐器或者铜管乐器 nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument.
肯定是肿瘤 压迫听觉神经了 Sure sounds like a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve.
绝对不行 No, absolutely not.
这又没什么 It's not a big deal.
我们有卫生手套的 We have latex gloves.
我不管你出现了什么症状 I don't care what the symptoms are,
我女朋友是不会帮你做前列腺检查的 my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.
谢尔顿 Hi, Sheldon.
早上好 斯蒂芬妮医生 Good morning, Dr. Stephanie.
我想莱纳德昨晚肯定让你性福了吧 I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
谢尔顿 这种问题不能随便问的 Sheldon, we don't ask questions like that.
那我怎么总听到你在问啊 I heard you ask it over and over.
我只问一次怎么就错了 How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
他非常棒 He did very nicely.
看见没 她不生气 See? She's not offended.
而且你也得到结果了 And now you finally have an answer.
没咖啡了 需要咖啡 Out of coffee. Need coffee.
你好 Oh, hello.
斯蒂芬妮 是吗 Hi! Stephanie, right?
是 你...你是 Uh-huh. And-And- And you are?
佩妮 我就住对门 Penny, I live across the hall.
我听说了你很多事情 I've heard a lot about you.
是吗 Really? Mm-hmm.
怎么没人跟我提起你啊 I haven't heard a thing about you.
莱纳德 Leonard?
为什么你从来都没跟我说起过 Why haven't I heard a thing
这个住在你对门的 about this woman who lives across the hall
喜欢早上跑这儿来的女人 还穿着内衣 and comes into your apartment in the morning...in her underwear?
她听说过你是因为 She's heard about you because we're, you know,
你是我女朋友 而你没听说过她则是因为 involved and you haven't heard about her because...
我从没跟她上过床 我发誓 I never slept with her, I swear!
不过话说回来 这倒并不是因为莱纳德不想 In Leonard's defense, it wasn't for lack of trying.
谢谢你 谢尔顿 Thank you, Sheldon.
别客气 莱纳德 You're welcome, Leonard.
我的意思是 Look, I'm just saying, um...
佩妮是我们众多邻居中的一位 Penny is one of our many neighbors, you know,
在我们这幢楼里 邻居们进进出出 很随便的 不讲究穿着 and in our building, neighbors come and go, it's very casual, no dress code.
实际上 有好几天早上 我都是穿着睡衣 In fact, some mornings I'll just mosey down to the third floor
荡到三楼瓦塔比蒂安太太家里跟她一起吃麦片的 in my pajamas and have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
真的吗 Really?
我怎么从来都没被瓦塔比蒂安太太 I have never once been invited
邀请去共进麦片的 to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
她看你不爽 She doesn't like you.
你不是要去切除什么胆囊么 You have a gall bladder to remove and I have
我要去洗澡了 而佩妮要穿衣服了 to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on, so...
很高兴能见到你 Well, it was very nice meeting you.
我也很高兴终于见到你了 Nice to finally meet you, too.
我们今天晚上见? And I'll see you tonight?
好的 再见 Okay, bye-bye.
我到底做了什么事情 招惹到了瓦塔比蒂安太太 What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?
那就是斯蒂芬妮啊 So, that's Stephanie, huh?
为什么我感觉我被做了前列腺检查 Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam?
她人挺好的 You know, she seems very nice.
没错 她太棒了 Oh, she is. She's terrific.
真的是一位好室友 And she's proving to be a valuable roommate.
室友? 你们住一起了? Roommate? You guys are living together?
想嬉皮士一样 Like hippies.
我们没同居 We're not living together.
你还想看看那些条款吗 Do I have to pull out the paperwork again?
我们没同居 We're not living together.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
我怎么可能不确定 How could I not be sure?
我们试试就知道了 Well, let's find out.
你觉得如果一个女人和我同居的话 Don't you think if a woman was living with me
我会意识不到么 I'd be the first one to know about it?
亲爱的 你肯定是那个最后知道的 Oh, sweetie, you'd be the last one to know about it.
很漂亮的衣服嘛 Hmm, cute dresses.
我打赌你穿这个会很好看 I bet this looks great on you!
我们没有同居 We're not living together.
好吧 Okay, hmm...
香氛蜡烛 毛毛拖鞋 Scented candles, fuzzy slippers,
碎花床单 Ooh! Floral bed sheets?
我们没有同居 We're not living together.
好吧 我继续 Okay, moving on.
迪斯尼乐园里这两位是谁呀 Now, who are these guys at Disney World?
那个大狗叫高飞 Uh, the big dog is Goofy,
那两个戴米奇耳朵的大人我就不知道了 but the older couple with the mouse ears , I have no idea.
我们没有同居 We're not living together!
还不承认嘛 You're going to go down swinging, huh?
好吧 看看你的护肤乳液 All right, well, we got your body lotion,
你的瑞丽杂志 你的首饰盒 your InStyle Magazine, your jewelry box.
我们没有 We're not--
我的蝙蝠侠信号灯去哪了 Where's my Bat Signal?
你有一个蝙蝠侠信号灯 You have a Bat Signal?
我是有过 之前就放这了 I did. It was right here.
一定是她 天呐 我们是同居了 She must've-- Oh, my God, we're living together.
真的吗 你是怎么发现的 Really? What was your first clue?
新裤子 New pants?
是啊 斯蒂芬妮买给我的 Yeah, Sthanie got them for me.
不错嘛 棉的 Nice. Cotton?
事实上 我觉得更像是羊毛和火红蚁的混合物 Actually, I think it's more of wool, fire ant blend.
这么说你的女朋友替你买衣服啦 So, the girlfriend's buying clothes for you, huh?
很亲密嘛 Sounds serious.
没错 It is actually.
事实上 我也想了很多 In fact, I gave it a lot of thought
我觉得我们是时候搬到一起住了 and I decided it was time for us to live together.
莱纳德 大错特错 Ba Oh, Leonard, huge mistake.
外面的女人多的就像自助餐厅里的食物 There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just
你却站在角落里吃着同样的芥末蛋 standing in the corner eating the same deviled egg
日复一日 over and over again.
至少我有鸡蛋吃 你有什么 At least I have an egg. What do you have?
一打随意取用的潜在性伴侣 A veritable smorgasbord of potential sexual partners.
看到那个金发美女了吗 See the blonde over there?
我能去泡她你就不行 I can hit on her and you can't.
去泡啊 So, go hit on her.
她不是我喜欢的类型 She's not my type.
真遗憾 她刚才还偷看你来着呢 Too bad, 'cause she was checking you out before.
她有嘛 She was?
当然没有 看看她 Of course not. Look at her.
我不关心你们怎么想 I don't care what you guys think.
斯蒂芬妮和我住在一起很开心 Stephanie and I are very happy living together.
我愿意给你们20块钱 I will give either of you 20 dollars, right now
你们谁能跟我换换裤子呀 to trade pants with me.
谢尔顿 你跟这干嘛呢 Sheldon, what are you doing here?
等下 Hang on.
高压130低压80 有点高 130 over 80. A little high.
可能是紧张的缘故 We can attribute that to the stress
因为我得悄悄溜过保安室 of sneaking past the security desk.
你哪来的听诊器呀 Where did you get the stethoscope
还有这个血压袖带 and the blood pressure cuff?
我阿姨玛丽昂给我的12岁生日礼物 My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday.
她觉得如果我挂了理论物理 She thought if I failed at theoretical physics
得有个谋生的手艺 that I should have a trade to fall back on.
顺便说一下 那个血压袖带 And by the way, the blood pressure cuff
叫做血压计 is called a sphygmomanometer.
谢谢 Thank you.
他们在医学院没有教过你吗 Didn't they teach you that in medical school?
我有点忙 谢尔顿 I'm kinda busy here, Sheldon.
我了解 I understand.
我就是需要你授权这些检查 All I need is for you to authorize these tests.
心脏负荷检查 全身磁共振成像 A cardiac stress test, a full body MRI,
肌电图 全血细胞计数 葡萄糖基线 anlectromyogram, a CBC, baseline glucose.
上消化道 Upper GI?
还有腹腔镜检查 Oh, and an exploratory laparoscopy.
上次我打嗝了 感觉像是我的隔膜 Last time I had hiccups, it felt like my diaphragm
在向我示意 was just going through the motions.
回家吧 谢尔顿 Go home, Sheldon.
至少给我做个上消化道检查吧 Can I at least have the upper GI?
我都已经喝了钡水了 I already drank the barium!
太好了 你有衣服柔顺剂嘛 Oh, good. Do you have any fabric softener?
有啊 Yeah, sure.
你洗什么呢 洗鳄鱼呐 What are you washing? A crocodile?
不是 是斯蒂芬妮买给我的裤子 No, the pants that Stephanie got me.
亲爱的 这种裤子不能机洗的 Oh, sweetie, you can't machinwash these.
洗了就毁了 They'll be ruined.
-真的吗 -没错 -Are you sure? -Absolutely.
不要吧 你早点告诉我就好了 Oh, no. I wish you'd told me that sooner.
你们有什么状况么 Are you guys having problems?
我们都很好啊 No, everything's fine.
真的么 Really?
是啊 很好啊 Yeah. It's wonderful.
好吧 可能住在一起这件事 Okay, maybe this whole living together
发生得太快了 但没有问题的 挺好的 happened kind of suddenly, but it's fine, it's great.
好吧莱纳德 亲爱的你知道 Okay, Leonard, honey, you know,
如果你对于你们的关系感到不自在了 if you're uncomfortable with the way things are going,
你是可以讲出来的 you're allowed to say something.
真的么 听起来不大对劲 Are you sure? That doesn't sound right.
相信我 你的感受和她的一样重要 Believe me, your feelings are just as important as hers.
这个听起来也不对劲 No that doesn't sound right either.
就直接告诉她你想要 Just tell her you need the relationship to move
慢慢来 at a pace that you both are comfortable with.
好吧 我可以这么和她说 Yeah, I could say something like that to her.
我这就去说 I'll go do that.
谢了 Thank you.
没事 Sure.
你很擅长这个嘛 You have a really good grasp on this.
你和她谈谈是不是更好 Maybe you could talk to her?
你开玩笑呢吧 You're kidding, right?
没有 不过没关系 No, but that's okay.
我去和她谈 I'll go talk to her.
你想和我一起去嘛 Want to come with?
快去 Go!
不是吧 Oh, no.
怎么咧 Whaa??
你说对了 你嗓子发炎了 You were right. Your larynx is terribly inflamed.
我是说 我从来没见过更糟糕的了 I mean, I've never seen anything like it.
我就知道 I knew it!
我该怎么办 What do I do?!
你必须马上停止说话 You're going to need to stop talking immediately.
要多久 For how-- Dut-dut-dut.
现在开始 Immediately.
亲爱的 Hey. Oh, hi, honey.
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
出什么事了 What's going on?
我刚给他来了个谢尔顿切除手术 I just performed a "Sheldonectomy."
小心点 如果没痊愈 下次会更厉害 Careful, if you don't get it all, it'll only come back worse.
知道了 Gotcha.
听着 我们得谈谈 Listen, we need to talk.
我们谈谈吧 还是我们得谈谈 Do we need to talk or "do we need to talk"?
你说什么呢 I don't know what that means.
好吧 你为什么不直接告诉我 你想要告诉我什么 Okay, why don't you just tell me what it is you have to tell me?
好的 那个 就是 Okay, um, well, look, it's just that...
你我的进展太快了 things between you and me have been going pretty quick.
然后捏 And...?
我有点怕怕 It's just a little scary.
又惊又喜那种对吧 Well, yeah, but scary good, right?
当然 Sure...
怕怕什么时候不是又惊又喜呢 When is scary not good?
但是 我也有感受的对吧 But... okay, um, I have feelings, right?
好的 那么我表述我的感觉 Okay, and it's perfectly okay
应该没有关系对吧 to express those feelings, right?
当然 亲爱的你为什么不 告诉我你的感受呢 Of course honey why don't you tell me what it is you're feeling?
好的 我就是觉得我们得 Okay, well, I ju... I think it's important to remember
按照我们的步调前进 that we move at a pace that is our speed
囧 我背下来的 and-- Oh, shoot, I had it!
好吧 这样如何 Okay, how about this?
让我说说我的感觉如何 How about I tell you what I'm feeling?
怎么了 What's that?
真的假的 现在吗 Really? Right now?
为什么不 Why not?
刚吃了饭的 饭后不是不能剧烈运动吗 I just ate, aren't you supposed to wait an hour?
是不能游泳吧 I think that's for swimming.
好吧 Oh, okay.
我就希望我不会抽筋就行了 I just hope I don't get cramps.
我把你的衣服放到烘干机里了 Oh, I put your clothes in the dryer.
谢谢 Thank you.
-你的裤子毁了 -太好了 -Your pants are ruined. -Good.
你和斯蒂芬妮谈的如何 So, how did the talk with Stephanie go?
某种意义上讲 谈得超好 Well, um, on one level, really, really well.
你告诉她你想慢点来啦 So, you told her you wanted to slow things down?
没有讲得这么明确 Not specifically,
不过我的确告诉她了我的感受 but, uh, I did tell her that I had feelings.
很好嘛 然后呢 Good, good. And then what?
然后啊 主题就变了 And then, uh, the subject got changed somehow.
你们上床啦 对吧 You had sex, didn't you?
上了一小下 Um... little bit.
什么 What?
没什么 Nothing.
好吧 听起来进展顺利 Okay, well, it sounds like things are going to work out.
是啊 都很好 Yeah, it's all good.
所有问题都会化解 Everything's going to work out.
不管是怎么化解的 One way or another.
拜托 莱纳德 come on, Leonard,
你有权利试着 让事情按照你喜欢的方式来 You are entitled to try and make things go the way you want them to.
-真的吗 -是的 -Really? -Yes!
你不一定总是要顺着女人的意思 You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants.
什么 What?
没什么 就是在重新思考我的整个人生 Nothing. Just... rethinking my whole life.
好吧 事情是这样的 Okay, here's the thing.
我害怕如果我要她搬出去 她会甩了我 I'm afraid that if I ask her to move out, she'll just dump me.
那你就得冒这个险 Well, it's a chance you have to take.
我是说 如果注定要这样 躲也躲不过 I mean, look, if it's meant to be, it'll be.
真会安慰人 Very comforting.
好吧 我怎么和她说 Okay, so what do I say to her?
我不知道 I don't know.
我的意思是别的女人想要和你慢慢来 她们是怎么说的 I mean, what have women said to you when they wanted to slow a relationship down?
我真的很喜欢你 但我想看看和马克会怎样 I really like you, but I want to see how things go with Mark?
是 那倒是可以让你们的关系慢下来 Yeah, that'll slow it down.
抱歉 我打断你了 I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you.
你刚才说什么来着 What were you saying?
对 恩 Oh, right, yeah, um...
斯蒂芬妮 是这样的 So, Stephanie, here's the thing.
我真的很喜欢你 I really like you.
噢 天哪 你要说那番话了 Oh, God, here comes the speech.
什么话 What speech?
我真的很喜欢你 "I really like you,
但我们或许相处的时间应该再少一点 "but maybe we should spend a little less time together
因为我想要有一点私人空间 但我会周二打电话给你的 "'cause I need my space but I'll call you on Tuesday"
接着你再也不会打电话给我了 所以只能我打给你 但你不会回我 and then you never call me so I call you,but you don't call me back
接着当我某天在咖啡馆遇见你 and then when I run into you at the coffee shop,
你假装你的语音信箱 you pretend like you've been having problems
好像坏了 但我知道你是在撒谎 with your voice mail and I know that you're lying,
但我假装不在乎 即使在心里我已经想死你了 but I pretend like I don't care even though I'm dying inside!
不是的 No!
不 不是的 我不会那样说的 No, no! I wasn't going to say any of that.
我刚才是想说 I was just going to say...
我是真的很喜欢你 I really like you.
噢 太好了 Oh, good!
因为我也真的很喜欢你 'Cause I really like you, too.
棒极了[同义:太糟了] Terrific.
嘿 Hey.
-嘿 -嘿 - Hey.- Hey.
毛衣挺不错的嘛 nice sweater.
恩 斯蒂芬妮给我买的 这衣服挺有趣的 Yeah, Stephanie got it for me. It's kind of fun.
上面有一只大鸟诶 老兄 It's got a big bird on it, dude.
是 是的 这就是它有趣的地方嘛 Yeah, yeah, that's the fun part.
我们还把我的卧室换了新窗帘 We're also getting new curtains for my bedroom,
还有一个新床罩 和一床羽绒被 and a dust ruffle, and a duvet,
而我甚至都不知道羽绒被是什么东西 and I don't even know what a duvet is,
但我敢肯定不会是我想要的 but I'm pretty sure if I did I wouldn't want one,
但我每次和她说搬出去住的事情 but every time I talk to her about moving out,
她就哭起来然后和我做爱 she cries and we have sex.
你真幸运 和我在一起 通常会是另一种结果 You're lucky. With me, it's usually the other way around.
你知道吗 如果你不忍心当面说 为什么不发短信跟她说呢 You know, if you can't talk to her, why don't you just text her?
不觉得这有点像懦夫的行为吗 Isn't that kind of cowardly?
哦 是的 但总比被欺骗好吧 Oh, yeah. It's beyond contemptible.
是的 但是另一方面你正穿着一件有鸟的毛衣 It's true, but on the other hand you are wearing a bird sweater.
同意 Sold.
我想这会使我们的关系更好 如果你搬回你的地方去住 "I think it would be better for our relationship if you moved back to your place."
看 搞定了 There. It's done.
你真棒 Good for you.
是的 我真棒 我再也不能享受到性爱了 Yeah, good for me. I'll never have sex again.
我错了 回头见 I was wrong.See ya.
佩妮 Penny.
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
我喉咙发炎了 COMPUTER: I have an inflamed larynx.
什么事啊 Okay?
我们的药草茶喝完了 你有吗 COMPUTER: We're out of herbal tea. Do you have any?
好的 让我找找啊 Okay, let me check.
有肛门也不错 COMPUTER: Some hiney would be nice, too.
肛门[肛门的俚语 较粗俗 但也很流行] Hiney?
是蜂蜜 COMPUTER: Honey.