说真的 No, seriously,
我终于明白为何自己找不到女人了 I think I've finally figured out my problem with women.
水豚是啮齿类动物中为数最多的品种 The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family.
这跟我与找女人有何关联 What does that have to do with me and women?
没关联 我只是迫切想为 Nothing. It was a desperate attempt
午餐会换个新话题罢了 to introduce an alternate topic of conversation.
我的问题在于 我没有展现出自信 My problem is, I don't project confidence.
所以我决定 当我下次见到美女时 So I decided the next time I meet a woman I think is attractive,
我不会退缩和矜持 rather than holding back and being cautious,
我要展现我自信的一面 I'm going to assume the mantle of self-assurance.
是吗 那该是什么样子的呢 Oh, yeah? What's that look like?
你好啊 Hi.
我叫莱纳德 I'm Leonard.
你宛若天仙一般 And you are beautiful.
青春 奔放 热力四射 You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.
我晚上8点钟去接你 I'm going to pick you up at 8:00,
定会带给你一个永生难忘的夜晚 show you a night you will never forget.
我们今晚去哪儿呢 Where are we going?
好消息来了 Good news.
我入选了国防部新组建的 I made it onto the team for the new Defense Department
激光监测卫星小组 laser-equipped surveillance satellite.
打断一下 Excuse me.
如果我们要转换话题 我的话题应该有优先权 If we're changing topics, I believe I have first dibs
水豚 一种体型与河马宝宝相仿的啮齿类动物 with capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo.
恭喜你 霍华德 Congratulations, Howard.
谢了 Thanks.
听着 我必须得通过安全审核 Listen, I have to get a security clearance,
所以联邦调查局的人可能会找你们问话 so you guys might be hearing from the FBI.
我不想跟联邦调查局的人说话 I don't want to speak to the FBI.
为什么 Why not?
我是棕色人种而且口音搞笑 I'm brown and I talk funny.
他们只是为了调查一下我的背景而已 They're just doing a background check on me.
这无关紧要 他们总会设法 It doesn't matter, they'll find a reason
把我遣返回甘地城的[印度] to give me a one-way ticket back to Gandhi-ville.
顺便说一下 话虽如此 但并无冒犯之意 By the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.
别傻了 拉杰 Don't be ridiculous, Raj.
你是合法居留的 You're here legally.
没人会在乎这个 你知道我因为 Nobody cares. Do you know how long it's been
在机场安检时没出具 since I got through airport security
结肠镜检查报告而被困了多久吗 without being given a colonoscopy?
我一直很努力地 You know, I try very hard
想把我们的午餐时间变得更为科学有益 to make our lunch hours educational and informative,
但你们执着的讨论自己生活琐事的行为 but your insistence on talking about your own lives
每次都深深地阻挠了我 stymies me at every turn.
好吧 谢尔顿 跟我们谈你那个巨型啮齿类动物吧 Fine, Sheldon, tell us about your giant rodents.
不了 你浪费了我们探讨的黄金时间 No, you squandered your time with me,
而那个时刻已经一去不复返了 and the moment has now passed.
尽情回味你们的失落吧 Feast on your disappointment,
就像水豚回味自己的排泄物一样 much as the capybara feasts on its own waste.
生活大爆炸 第四季第七集
[暮色2:新月]
贝拉 你难道不明白吗 Oh, Bella, don't you see?
爱德华离开你只是因为他爱你 Edward's only pushing you away because he loves you.
来了 Coming.
库萨帕里博士吗 Dr. Koothrappali?
我是联调局探员 蓓姬 I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
我可以进来吗 May I come in?
我想跟你谈谈霍华德·沃罗威茨 I'd like to talk to you about Howard Wolowitz.
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
好吧 说说你认识沃罗威茨先生多久了 All right. Well, how long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?
朗姆酒蛋糕要吗 Rum cake?
不 谢了 No, thanks.
关于沃罗威茨先生... Now, about Mr. Wolowitz...
认识7年了 Seven years.
了解了 I see.
我在这个国家是合法的 你懂的 I'm in this country legally, you know.
我也这么想 I'm sure you are.
据你所知 Now, to your knowledge,
沃罗威茨先生曾经有过犯罪前科吗 has Mr. Wolowitz ever committed a crime?
当然没有 Of course not.
我来这用的是H-1B签证 I'm here on an H-1B visa,
（H-1B签证:外籍人士的短期非移民工作签证）
这也意味着我不可能跟任何形式的 which means I can't be associated in any way
犯罪活动扯上关系而且我也没有过 with crime or criminal activity and I'm not.
很好 Good.
据你所知 沃罗威茨先生 To your knowledge, does Mr. Wolowitz
有任何国外的联系人吗 have any foreign contacts?
没了 就只有我 No, just me.
天呐 终于来了 Oh, there it is.
开始掏家底了 Here comes a cavity search.
你说什么 Excuse me?
求你们别送我回印度去 那里太拥挤了 Please don't send me back to India, it's so crowded!
整个国家像一场无止境的动漫大会一样 It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con,
除了每个人穿着相同的装束 except everybody's wearing the same costume:
印度人装 Indian Guy.
-库萨帕里博士 我不是来... -我爱这个国家 - Dr. Koothrappali, I'm not... - I love this country!
这里有棒球 自由 The-the baseball, the freedom,
和一大堆病态的肥胖人士 the rampant morbid obesity!
从加利福尼亚到纽约 From California to the New York Island!
我都算是"洋基歌"的忠实粉丝 I'm a real Yankee Doodle boy!
（洋基歌:独立战争时士兵的流行歌）
库萨帕里博士 请你... Dr. Koothrappali, please.
我的国家充满了...* My country 'tis of thee... ?
（他唱的实际是"My Country, 'Tis of Thee", 曾经的美国国歌, 拉杰成功穿越）
...自由* ...liberty
这真棒* It's really great.
（忘词不会唱 囧）
当霍华德跟我说会有联调局的人来找我时 So, when Howard said the FBI would be contacting me,
我以为我盼来的是穆德 I was expecting Mulder.
（穆德和斯嘉丽分别为《X档案》男女主角）
没想到来了斯嘉丽 Glad to see I got Scully.
你说谁 Who?
穆德和斯嘉丽 Mulder and Scully.
《X档案》 X-Files.
"真像就在那里"... 算了当我没说 "The truth is out there." never mind.
你想了解点什么呢 Uh, so, what would you like to know?
你和沃罗威茨先生在大学里共事 对吧 You work with Mr. Wolowitz here at the university, correct?
是的 当然 是不同的部门 Yes. Of course, we're in different departments.
他是个工程师 而我是实验物理学家 He's an engineer and I'm an experimental physicist.
就好比是那种 You know, one of those guys
建筑监理师 who examines the building blocks of creation
并且总会说"你好啊 宇宙的建造者" and says, "Hello, maker of the universe.
"我看到了你的成果" "I see what you did there.
"很屌哦" Good one."
好吧 Right.
你怎么形容你和 Now, how would you characterize
沃罗威茨先生之间的关系呢 your relationship with Mr. Wolowitz?
很好 Good.
我们关系很好 It's a good relationship.
当然了 我跟多数人的关系都很好 Of course, most of my relationships are good.
也许是因为我浑身流露着自信 Probably because I exude confidence.
这点很吸引人的 你懂吗 People are drawn to that, you know?
我是说自信 不是流"露" Confidence, not exuding.
沃罗威茨先生是否有参加任何组织呢 Do you know of any groups Mr. Wolowitz is a member of?
你很美 你知道吗 You are beautiful, you know that?
你青春 奔放 热力四射 You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.
我八点钟去接你 I'm going to pick you up at 8:00,
带你度过永生难忘的一晚 show you a night you will never forget.
听上去不错 Sounds great.
真的吗 Really?
我可以带上我六尺二寸[约1.89米] Can my six-foot-two
在海豹部队服役的丈夫吗 Navy seal husband come with us?
那是 Is that...?
天啊 我摘了眼镜没看到你的戒指 Oh, my, I didn't see the ring with my glasses off, so...
瞧 这下我开始流"露"了 Look at that, I'm starting to exude.
你想去开门吗 Want to get that?
不是很想 Not particularly.
可以去开一下门吗 Could you get that?
要是有人求我去的话 也可以去的 I suppose I could if I were asked.
可不可以请你开一下门 Would you please get that?
当然可以 Of course.
你干吗非要把事情弄得这么复杂呢 Why do you have to make things so complicated?
库珀博士吗 Dr. Cooper?
是的 Yes.
我是联邦调查局探员蓓姬 I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
你说你自己是 You say you're
联邦调查局探员蓓姬 空口无凭 Special Agent Page, FBI.
这是我的证件 Here's my I.D.
这是我正义联盟的会员卡 And here is my Justice League membership card.
但是这不能证明我认识蝙蝠侠 But that doesn't prove I know Batman.
我只是想问你几个 I just want to ask you a few questions
关于霍华德·沃罗威茨的问题 about Howard Wolowitz.
好吧 Oh. All right.
我想没人会冒着 I doubt anyone would risk
假扮联邦政府探员的重罪 the stiff penalties for impersonating a federal officer
来问几个关于一个患有强烈恋母情结 just to ask questions about a minor league engineer
的小工程师的问题 with an unresolved oedipal complex.
谢谢 Thank you.
老实说 我非常支持 For the record, I truly support the FBI
联邦调查局为完成使命 in the mission which is expressed
所立下的誓言 through their motto...?
忠诚 勇敢 正直 Fidelity, bravery, and integrity.
回答正确 说正事吧 Correct. Now to business.
十八年前有人在我的门廊上 18 years ago, I sent the FBI crime lab samples
点燃了一包粪便 我从中提取了样本 from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire
寄给了联调局的罪案鉴证科 on my front porch...
为了提取指纹和化验DNA ...for fingerprinting and DNA analysis.
为什么我到现在还没收到任何回复呢 Why haven't I heard back yet?
联邦调查局的罪案鉴证科事务繁忙 Well, the FBI crime lab does have a lot on its plate.
这对于一个想要把烧焦的粪便 That's of little comfort to a nation
从鞋上刮下来的人来说可不是个好消息 attempting to scrape burning feces off its shoes.
你介不介意我们来谈一下沃罗威茨先生 Would you mind if we talked about Mr. Wolowitz now?
有点介意 不过说吧 A little, but go on.
谢谢 Thank you.
你认为他是个负责任的人吗 Would you characterize him as responsible?
我来举证回答你这个问题吧 I'm going to answer that with a visual aid.
这是我的《魔戒》三部曲 This is my nine-disc complete
九张蓝光碟版的完整收藏 Lord of the Rings trilogy blu-ray set.
沃罗威茨曾经借走过 Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it,
结果把第三张碟的塑料壳弄坏了 damaged plastic retention hub number three...
然后就这样还给我 还指望我不会发现 ...and then returned it to me, hoping I wouldn't notice.
你觉得这叫做负责任吗 Would you characterize that as responsible?
我们对这类事情不感兴趣 That's really not the sort of thing we're interested in.
你听到我说这是蓝光了吧 You heard me say blu-ray, right?
听到了 I did.
很好 Very well.
那你想不想知道 Would you be interested
沃罗威茨先生曾经偷偷登录我的 in knowing that Mr. Wolowitz once snuck onto
魔兽争霸账号 然后把我一个八十级的 my World of Warcraft account and changed the name
术士名字由谢耳朵改成了没耳朵 of a certain level-80 warlock from Sheldor to Smeldor?
这个也不感兴趣 I'm afraid not.
还有别的吗 Is there anything else?
"还有别的吗" "Is there anything else"?
你想从哪里开始说起 Where would you like to start?
我借给他的书 He refuses to pay fines
他延期不还 还拒绝缴纳罚款 when he's overdue with books I lend him.
他为了泡妞 He crashed the Mars Rover
而撞毁了火星探测器 while attempting to impress a woman.
他推荐我去看 He recommended that I go see
黑客帝国三 因为 他的原话是 the third Matrix movie because it was, and I quote,
"这部跟第一部一样精彩" "just as good as the first one".
我不知道还有谁比他更不负责任的了 If that's not irresponsible, I don't know what is.
火星探测器 The Mars Rover?
我有说火星探测器吗 Did I say Mars Rover?
说了 You did.
这个例子其实举得很烂 That was actually a poorly chosen example,
因为那跟我一点关系也没有 as it had nothing to do with me.
没关系 我们还是来谈一下吧 Yes, well, let's talk about it anyway.
我不想谈 I don't want to.
但是我不愿意谈这件事 Not that my disinclination
并不能证明 to discuss the topic should be interpreted as evidence of
是霍华德·沃罗威茨损坏了 Howard Wolowitz's culpability in the destruction
上千万美元的政府财产 of government property worth millions of dollars.
谢谢你 库珀博士 Thank you, Dr. Cooper.
我想我已经问完了 I think I have all I need.
太好了 Oh, good.
我还怕你会 I was afraid you were going to fixate
抓着火星探测器那件事不放呢 on that Mars Rover incident.
伙计们 Hey, buddies.
猜猜谁由于没通过安全审查 Guess who didn't get security clearance
所以不能参与太空激光器的工作了 to work on the giant space laser?
怎么搞的 What happened?
显然 有人在背景调查时说我坏话了呗 Apparently, the background interviews didn't go well.
这肯定跟你们几个没关系 对吧 You guys wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
实际上 我跟那个女探员谈话的时候 Well, actually, I may have gotten
可能有点喝醉了 a little tipsy when I talked to her.
我可能有点想要泡她的意思 And I may have hit on her a little bit.
我可能把朗姆蛋糕扔到她鞋上了 I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes.
我知道了 I see.
很好 每当我需要你们的时候 Well, it's good to know, when I need you guys,
我总能指望你们跳出来把事情搞砸的 I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.
我好内疚 I feel awful.
我也是 Ah, me, too.
老实说 就算有人会搞砸 To tell you the truth,
霍华德的安全审核 I thought if anyone was going to
我也觉得应该是谢尔顿的错 screw things up for Howard, it'd be Sheldon.
显然你的预期被推翻了 Well, your expectations have been subverted.
啊哈 Aha.
你怎么还不睡 What are you doing up?
睡眠弃我而去了 莱纳德 Sleep eludes me, Leonard.
是么 Really?
可能你之前遇见过他 却错过了 Maybe sleep has met you before.
这算是讽刺么 Mockery?
你就不能说些别的吗 That's all you have to offer?
不好意思 你为什么睡不着 I'm sorry. Why can't you sleep?
谁知道呢 Who knows?
我最近又没看什么惊悚片 I haven't watched any scary movies recently.
也不再纠结为什么 I'm no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass
量子真空质量的预测 of the quantum vacuum has little effect
对宇宙膨胀作用甚微 on the expansion of the universe.
我不小心喝了一小口红牛也是好几周前的事了 And it's been weeks since I took that accidental sip of Red Bull.
那今天发生了什么事让你纠结 Did something happen today that's bothering you?
我的确是对联调局探员 Well, I did mention
提到了火星探测器那件事 the Mars Rover incident to that FBI agent
也许这害得霍华德没通过安全审核 and probably cost Howard his security clearance.
-啥 -但我为什么睡不着呢 - What? - But why should that keep me up?
因为你感到愧疚么 Because you feel guilty?
有意思 Interesting.
你是说我失眠是因为愧疚感作祟 So you're saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience.
其实你没有失眠 Actually, you don't have insomnia.
你正在睡觉 You're sleeping now.
你说啥 Excuse me?
你正在一个因内疚感而生的梦境里 You're having a guilt-ridden dream.
你这么说有什么证据吗 Do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis?
看到沙发上那个戈恩人了吗[星际迷航] How about that Gorn sitting on the couch?
好吧 很有说服力 That seems fairly conclusive.
不 戈恩 No, Gorn, no.
那是我的位子 That's where I sit.
多谢你同意见我 蓓姬探员 Thank you for agreeing to see me, Agent Page.
多谢你向我上级投诉我 库珀博士 Thank you for filing a complaint with my superior, Dr. Cooper.
我明白你想要撤销 I understand you want to recant
你对霍华德·沃罗威茨的说辞 your statement about Howard Wolowitz.
-没错 -你的说辞是假的吗 - Yes. - Was your statement untrue?
是真的 No.
那我恐怕你没法撤销 Then I'm afraid you can't withdraw it.
不好意思 你可没说"不得回传" I'm sorry. I don't recall you saying "No backsies."
还有其它事吗 Is there anything else?
有 我想发表一番对霍华德 Yes. I'd like to offer a laudatory statement
许多优秀品质的赞美 about Howard's many excellent qualities that I believe
我相信这能扭转局势 will tip the scales back in his favor.
霍华德·约尔·沃罗威茨 "Howard Joel Wolowitz.
H代表诚实 他的确相当诚实 "H is for honesty, of which he has much.
O代表杰出 "O's for outstanding,
他也正是如此 "Which he is such.
W代表风趣 他的确很会讲笑话 "W's for witty, he's quick with a joke.
-A代表艺术才华 他可以... -我很抱歉 - A's for artistic, his ability..." - I'm sorry.
库珀博士 这没得谈了 Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed.
但名字的剩余部分我还没说完呢 But I still have "rd Joel Wolowitz" Left to go.
这事儿已经完结了 It's closed.
我真搞不懂你们这帮人 I don't understand why you people
要找我朋友霍华德的茬 are picking on my friend, Howard,
这个国家还面临着其它更严重的威胁 when there are much more serious security threats to pursue.
比如 我最初遇到莱纳德的时候 For instance, when I first met Leonard,
他就差点把导弹机密 he was on the verge of giving away
透露给一个朝鲜间谍 rocket secrets to a North Korean spy,
但却没有一个探员去调查这事 and not one agent ever investigated that.
你是指莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德吗 This is Leonard Hofstadter?
不 是另一个叫莱纳德的 No, it's a different Leonard.
他... He's...
他是中国人 红头发 六根手指 再见 Chinese, red hair, six fingers. Good-bye.
拉杰 Raj.
你看到霍华德了吗 Have you seen Howard?
我想他在吃饭吧 I think he's eating lunch.
谢尔顿 这位是尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森 Uh, Sheldon, I want you to meet Neil DeGrasse Tyson
纽约海登天文馆馆长 from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.
我和泰森博士挺熟呢 I'm quite familiar with Dr. Tyson.
都归功于他的一家之言 He's responsible for the demotion of Pluto
冥王星不再是行星了 from planetary status.
我喜欢冥王星 I liked Pluto.
所以我不喜欢你 Ergo I do not like you.
其实不是我的一家之言 But I actually didn't demote Pluto.
而是国际天文联合会投票决定的 That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union.
要是总拿"如果"和"但是"来糊弄我们 If "Ifs" And "Buts" Were candy and nuts,
圣诞节可不会开心的是吧 we'd all have a merry Christmas.
好好想想吧 泰森博士 Think about that, Dr. Tyson.
你和我说的就是他吗 Is that the guy you were telling me about?
没错 Oh, yeah.
霍华德 Howard.
害你没通过安全审核的人是我 The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me.
是你 You?
对 在你发飙之前 我要告诉你 Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know
我去找了联调局的人撤回我的说辞 I went to the FBI and retracted my statement.
他们同意了吗 And they were okay with that?
不 那啥 反而更糟了 No. If anything, I made it worse.
不管怎样 我充满了罪恶感 In any case, I have been riddled with guilt,
搞得戈恩人都跑进了我梦里 which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep.
所以我来对你说抱歉 So, I'm here now to say I'm sorry.
你开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
你害得我的职业发展倒退了至少两年 You've set my career back at least two years,
你觉得说句抱歉就能算了吗 and you think you can make it right with "I'm sorry"?
是的 Yes.
我遵循了社交礼仪 I followed the social protocol.
曾努力想要纠正错误 但我失败了 I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so,
所以我表示诚挚的抱歉 I delivered a heartfelt apology.
现在你得说 Now you say,
"我接受你的道歉" "Apology accepted,"
而我和你击下掌 仅此一次 and I will offer you a one-time-only high five.
我不接受你的道歉 Your apology is not accepted.
你开玩笑吧 You're tricking me.
其实你接受了吧 It really is, isn't it?
别烦我 谢尔顿 Leave me alone, Sheldon.
库珀博士 我想告诉你 Dr. Cooper, I just wanted you to know
我很抱歉我对冥王星的所作所为 I'm sorry for the role I played in the Pluto matter.
闭嘴 Oh, shut up.
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
你好 Hello.
你怎么会在这 What are you doing here?
我有麻烦了 佩妮 I have troubles, Penny.
我想来找充满同情心的 I've come to pour them out
当地酒吧酒保一吐心事 to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep.
其实橄榄园那边就有个不错的酒吧 You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.
我不喜欢橄榄园 I don't like the Olive Garden.
他们对我跟家人似的 They treat me like family.
-好吧谢尔顿 想喝点什么 -酒 - Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you? - Alcohol.
能再具体点吗 Could you be a little more specific?
乙醇 Ethyl alcohol.
40毫升 40 milliliters.
抱歉亲爱的 我不懂毫升制 I'm sorry, honey. I don't know milliliters.
那得怪詹姆斯·吉米·卡特总统 Ah. Blame President James "Jimmy" Carter.
他让美国开始实行公制体系 He started America on a path to the metric system
却又半途而废 but then just gave up.
他还想不明白自己为何不能连任总统 He wonders why he was a one-term president.
你说这里差不多是40毫升吧 Would you say that's about 40 milliliters?
-差不多 -很好 - More or less. - Great.
咱说到哪了 Now, where were we?
相信你马上就要让我点一种鸡尾酒了 I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail.
幸好 拜嗜酒的电脑通们所赐 Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics,
正好有开发这应用 there's an app for that.
看看 Let's see.
哈维撞墙 算了 Harvey Wallbanger. Eh.
海滩性爱 我可不要 Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so.
罗布罗伊 丝绸拖鞋 疯狂鞋匠 Rob Roy, silk Slipper, Mad Hatter.
给我来一杯玫瑰花水里奇 I'll have a Rosewater Ricky.
-什么酒 -需用到去核酒酿的樱桃 琴酒 - A what? - You'll need pitted,brandied cherries, gin,
玫瑰花水 安古斯图拉苦味酒和高度朗姆酒 rosewater, Angostura Bitters and overproofed rum.
首先 在樱桃上撒上糖 Now, first, dust the cherries with sugar,
然后喷上朗姆和苦味酒 then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters.
再点燃朗姆酒 将饴糖... Then ignite the rum, caramel...
给你 你的玫瑰花水里奇 Here you go -- one Rosewater Ricky.
跟照片上的不像 That's not how it looks in the picture.
是啊 不过每位酒保调法都稍有差异 Oh, yeah, you know, every bartender makes it differently.
何不试试再说 Why don't you give it a try.
好吧 All right.
敬公制体系 To the metric system.
我没尝到有樱桃味 I can't taste the cherries.
好吧 谢尔顿 你到底在烦恼什么 All right. Sheldon, what's on your mind?
我对不起霍华德 他不接受我的道歉 I wronged Howard, and he won't accept my apology.
哦那件事啊 Oh, right, that.
莱纳德跟我说了 很遗憾亲爱的 Yes, Leonard told me. Sorry, honey.
佩妮 你每天都面对着失败 Penny, you face failure on a daily basis.
你是怎么处理的 How do you cope?
我喝酒啊 I drink.
敬喝酒 To drinking.
不行 Nope.
真希望有什么能强迫霍华德接受我的道歉 If only there were some way to force Howard to accept my apology
让我逃脱这内疚的深渊 so I could escape this miasma of guilt.
有些事它注定要发生 You know, sometimes stuff just happens,
你是无能为力的 and there's nothing you can do about it.
比如 丽莎·皮特森从高二就不跟我讲话 Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade,
因为不管怎么道歉 because no matter how much you apologize,
都改变不了勾走她男友的事实 you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
我明白了 I see.
你是说我面对的是星舰学院 You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's
不可能完成的测试 小林丸号测验 unwinnable command scenario: the Kobayashi Maru.
没错 Exactly.
有时候注定你赢不了 Sometimes you can't win.
柯克船长就赢了 Captain Kirk won.
柯克作弊了 Kirk cheated.
真不敢相信你知道这个 Impressive that you know that.
难以置信我竟然跟你在讨论这些 It's hard to believe i'm actually having this conversation with you.
佩妮与你同在 Right there with you.
柯克通过改编测试程序 通过了该测试 Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru by reprogramming the simulator.
-就这么办 -什么 - That's it. - What?
-我要改编霍华德 -什么 - I'll reprogram Howard. - What...?
谢尔顿 人是没法改编的 Sheldon, you can't reprogram people.
不 是你不能改编而已 No, you can't reprogram people.
敬詹姆斯·T·柯克船长 To James Tiberius Kirk.
各位好 Hello, all.
霍华德 今天没那么生我气了 是吗 Howard, you're feeling better about me today, aren't you?
不是 Not really.
一定是的 Yes, you are.
我正用神经语言学规划法 I'm using neurolinguistic programming
修正你的思考模式 to modify your thought patterns.
滚远点 谢尔顿 Go away, Sheldon.
将近10美元买的那电子书就这么废掉了 There's a $9.95 e-book down the drain.
那袋子里是什么 What's in the bag?
是给霍华德的 It's for Howard.
谢尔顿 这事不是送个礼就能算了的 Oh. Sheldon, you can't fix this with gifts.
不管怎么说 我伤害了你 Nevertheless, I've hurt you,
不管你原不原谅我 我都要给你这个 and whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this.
你送我个沙发垫 You're giving me a couch cushion?
不是 No.
垫子只是象征性的 The cushion is merely symbolic.
我送你的是我沙发上的专座 I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
但你很爱那专座的 But you love that spot.
不 我很爱我妈妈 No. I love my mother.
而我对我专座的感情 要强烈得多 My feelings for my spot are much greater.
它是宇宙中独一无二属于我的 It is the singular location in space
环绕着它 是属于我的整个宇宙 around which revolves my entire universe.
现在它是你的了 And now it's yours.
天哪兄弟 你一定要原谅他 Oh, my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.
好吧 All right.
我接受你的道歉 Apology accepted.
击掌 High five.
别太用力 Not too hard.
谢谢 Thank you.
自《玩具总动员3》之后 我就没这么哭过了 I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.
不得不承认 I got to tell you, Sheldon,
谢尔顿 我总算明白你为何选这个专座了 I understand why you chose this spot.
温度正好 也没什么风 I mean, the temperature is good, but there's no draft.
能观赏电视 同时还能聊天... I can see the television, but I can still talk to...
我改主意了 滚出我的专座 I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.
多久 How long?
94秒 94 seconds.