水魔王 Water Demon.
冰龙 Ice Dragon.
卡哈战神 Lesser Warlord of Ka'a.
慢着 Not so fast.
无敌谢尔顿 Infinite Sheldon.
无敌谢尔顿 Infinite Sheldon?
是的 "无敌谢尔顿"能击败其他所有牌 Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards
而且没有违背自制卡牌的规则 and does not violate the rule against homemade cards
因为这规则是我在工作时发明的 because I made it at work.
你明白为何别人都不想跟你一起玩吗 Do you understand why people don't want to play with you?
不明白 No...
虽然我从幼儿园开始就一直被问这个问题 Although it's a question I've been pondering since preschool.
你的《科学》杂志寄到了我的邮箱里 Hey, your copy of Science Magazine was in my mailbox.
哦 谢了 Oh, thanks. Mm-hmm.
看啊 这期讲的都是关于星球的内容 Check it out, all about planets this month.
这是颗原子 That's an atom.
各抒己见嘛 Agree to disagree.
这就是我喜爱科学的原因 That's what I love about science.
因为总没有正确的答案 There's no one right answer.
那么... So...
你和扎克又在一起了吗 You and Zack again, huh?
是啊 我和扎克又在一起了 Yeah, yeah, me and Zack again.
我俩之前来过吗 Were we here earlier?
好吧 我看我们还是走吧 Okay, we should, we should go.
等下 Ah, not yet.
我还想和这帮捣腾科学的小子聊聊科学呢 I want to talk science with the science dudes.
好棒哦 科学小子们要和你聊科学了 Oh, and the science dudes want to talk science with you.
你想聊点啥呢 What do you want to talk about,
岩石 恐龙还是我们的好朋友海狸呢 rocks, dinosaurs, our friend the beaver?
我在探索频道看过件妙事 You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel.
原来海星一旦被杀 Turns out that if you kill a starfish,
它会立刻复活 it'll just come back to life.
那海星没穿拳击短裤吧 Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts?
也许你看的是尼克频道[儿童频道] Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
不 我比较确定看的是探索频道 No, I'm almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel.
那是个不错的节目 It was a great show.
节目还说海豚可能比人还聪明 They also said dolphins might be smarter than people.
海豚可能比某些人聪明 They might be smarter than some people.
也许我们可以做个试验看看 Maybe we can do an experiment to find out.
这很容易 That's easy enough.
我们找一缸水 找个海豚能穿过去的铁圈 We'd need a large tank of water, a hoop to jump through,
再找一桶你喜欢吃的饵料就行了 and a bucket of whatever bite-sized treats you find tasty.
我没听懂 I don't get it.
海豚可能懂 A dolphin might.
我明白了 Oh, I see.
你们是说我傻是吧 You guys are inferring that I'm stupid.
你这就错了 That's not correct.
我们是在暗喻 We were implying it.
是你自己说出来的 You then inferred it.
我们走 Let's go.
有这样一群人 You know, for a group of guys
一辈子可能都会被别人羞辱欺负着 who claim they spent most of their lives being bullied,
你们就是那羞辱人的混蛋 you can be real jerks.
为你们感到羞耻 Shame on all of you.
我什么都没做过啊 What the hell did I do?
你笑了 You laughed.
生活大爆炸 第四季第十一集
你们也认同佩妮的说法吗 Do you think Penny's right?
我们刚才是在欺负扎克吗 Were we bullying Zack?
不 我知道什么叫欺负 No, I know bullying.
他刚才走得很淡定 内裤也好端端地在屁股上呢 He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
而且也没人把鸡鸡画到他额头上啊 And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
有人画到过你额头上吗 That happened to you?
我去板球训练营的第一天 First day of cricket camp.
他们就是想拿我的俩眼睛当蛋蛋 They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.
我觉得我们还是得跟那家伙道个歉 I don't know, I think we might owe the guy an apology.
-那你去道歉呗 -为什么是我去 - So go apologize. - Why me?
你开的头 我们只是附和罢了 You started it, we just piled on.
那我该怎么说 What would I even say?
扎克 很抱歉 你太蠢了 Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid.
吃点奶球吧 Have a Milk Dud.
奶球 A Milk Dud?
是的 凭借奶球这自嘲的名字 Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name
外加温和的口味 and remarkably mild flavor,
是盒装糖果里最能表达歉意的 are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
我有个好主意 I got a better idea.
这事儿我们都有责任 We're all responsible.
所以都该去道歉 I say we all go.
拜托 谁跟我一起去一下呢 Come on, who's with me?
跟我去的我赠送漫画书 谁想去一下呢 Free comic books to anyone who comes with me.
我可能会被海扁一顿 你们不想看看吗 I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
薄荷糖也挺有道歉味道的 Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
你这是在自取其辱 You're embarrassing yourself.
佩妮 Penny.
-什么事 -我们想跟扎克说两句 扎克你还好吗 - What? - Yeah, we came to talk to Zack. Hey, Zack.
你们想怎么样 What do you want?
我们之前说的那些 Listen, the stuff we were saying before,
只不过是跟你开玩笑来着 we were just kidding around.
才不是呢 No, you weren't.
你们刚才在嘲讽我 You were making fun of me.
拜托 我们经常这样的 Come on, that's what we do.
互相找不痛快 We give each other a hard time.
喂 谢尔顿 Hey, Sheldon,
你长得像在祈祷的螳螂 you look like a praying mantis.
你这话太伤人了 That's very hurtful.
看到了吧 See?
我不知道 还是觉得很不爽 I don't know, it still wasn't very nice.
奶球要吗 Milk Dud?
爱死奶球了 Oh, I love Milk Duds.
好了 咱们和好了 Okay, we're cool.
还说薄荷糖吗 Junior Mints.
你们想进来喝杯啤酒吗 You guys want to come in and have a beer?
我们正打算去漫画书店呢 Uh, we're on our way to the comic book store.
莱纳德请客哦 Leonard's buying.
真的吗 Really?
我有整整一百万年 I haven't been to a comic book store
没去过漫画书店了 in literally a million years.
真的吗 Literally?
是字面上理解的一百万年吗 Literally a million years?
打住 Don't.
-你想和他们一起去吗 -不想 - You want to go with 'em? - No.
-哦 那就回见了 -等等 - Okay, see you later. - Wait,
等等 你为了去漫画书店就丢下我吗 w-w-w-wait, you're ditching me to go look at comic books?
你生我气了吗 Are you mad at me?
我不高兴了 I'm not happy.
奶球要吗 Milk Dud?
哇 这地方太赞了 Wow, this place is awesome.
阿奇的漫画一般在哪儿 Where do they keep the Archies?
（美国著名漫画出版商）
在十岁小姑娘的卧室里 在那儿才对 In the bedrooms of ten-year-old girls, where they belong.
你说的那是老阿奇漫画 Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie.
现在已经成熟多了 It's much more sophisticated now.
比如说 有两个宇宙 Like, there's two universes,
阿奇在一个宇宙去了贝蒂 and Archie's married to Betty in one
在另一个娶了维罗妮卡 and Veronica in the other.
（出自阿奇《New Look》系列第三期）
米吉甚至和慕思分手了 Midge is even breaking up with Moose.
不会吧 No.
早该改了 对吧 About time, right?
你们终于合伙雇了位保镖啦 Hey. You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
不是 这位是扎克 Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack.
只是朋友而已 He's a friend of ours.
扎克 这位是斯图尔特 Zack, this is Stuart.
这儿的老板 He owns the store.
哇 好福气啊 Wow, lucky you.
是啊 我每周上70小时的班 Yeah, I work 70 hours a week
平均每小时赚一块六毛五 and average $1.65 an hour.
很赞啊 Sweet.
他这是讽刺我吗 Is that sarcasm?
非也 他是在控诉无能的美国教育系统 No, it's an indictment of the American education system.
阿奇漫画都在那边呢 The Archies are over here.
好滴 Yippee.
你们几位来不来我的新年化装派对啊 So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
当然来啊 Of course.
我们要组成美国正义联盟 We're coming as the Justice League of America.
（美国DC漫画公司创作的超级英雄团队）
阵容安排得换一下 Switching it up from last year
不能和去年的重复了 when we came as the Justice League of America.
你这么一提 To that point,
让我忽然想起来 我们今年很有可能 it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity
最终赢得最佳团体服饰奖 to finally snare Best Group Costume
只要我们加强了当初的短板 if we shore up our weak link,
显然也就是莱纳德扮的超人 which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
喂 我今年新买了靴子好吧 Hey, I got new boots this year.
保证能增高三英寸 Guaranteed to add three inches.
真可悲 That's sad.
请扪心自问 Let's ask ourselves:
我们认识的人中有哪位 Is there anyone we know
能扮好更爷们更合适的氪星之子[即超人]呢 who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
比穿高跟靴的莱纳德更爷们吗 Than Leonard in high-heeled boots?
跟穿高跟靴的霍华德老妈呢 Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
我想到了那边那位 I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there
念念有词欣赏最新《贝蒂和维罗妮卡》的先生 moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
扎克吗 Zack?
他是我们认识的 唯一有真正肌肉的人 He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
你们不能让扎克代替我 You can't replace me with Zack.
为啥不行 佩妮不就这么做了 Why not? Penny did it.
对啊 她好像比以前更开心了 Yeah, she seems happier.
为啥我们不行 Why wouldn't we be?
爽啊 Score.
我找到了《高中生阿奇》 《贝蒂和维罗妮卡》 I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica,
还有《笨瓜》这册 and a Jughead.
我的周末完美了 All set for my weekend number twos.
恭喜恭喜 Congratulations.
扎克 你觉得当超人感觉如何 Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
不知道诶 听起来责任重大啊 I don't kow. Sounds like a lot of responsibility.
好吧 如果扎克当超人的话 Fine. If Zack's gonna be Superman,
那我就要当绿灯侠 I want to be Green Lantern.
可我才是绿灯侠啊 But I'm Green Lantern.
你可以去当水行侠嘛 You can be Aquaman.
我才不想当水行侠呢 I don't want to be Aquaman.
太衰了 He sucks.
在水下都衰得不行 He sucks underwater.
还得喝鱼尿 He sucks fish pee.
容我插句嘴 Excuse me,
我觉得水行侠会用他的通灵术 I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers
让鱼儿们上别处撒尿去 to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
嗨 宝贝 Hey, babe.
我还在生你的气 I'm still mad at you.
等听到这个天大的喜讯 你就不会生气了 Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
什么天大的喜讯 What great news?
我们在新年夜要去参加 We're going to a costume party
漫画店的化装派对 at the comic book store on New Year's Eve,
而你将扮成神奇女侠 and you get to be Wonder Woman.
还有防弹手镯和真理套索 Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth.
隐形飞机单独零售 Invisible plane sold separately.
慢着 为什么是我 Wait, why me?
为什么不找你女友做神奇女侠 Wh-Why can't your girlfriend be Wonder Woman?
她们实验室的人正在隔离中 She and her lab team are under quarantine.
貌似她们圣诞派对时用了 Seems at the Christmas party they were doing Jell-O shots
装黄热病毒的培养皿做果冻杯 out of petri dishes that used to contain yellow fever.
好吧 那你朋友艾米呢 Okay, what about your friend Amy?
艾米·菲拉·福勒不会接受COSPLAY的 Amy Farrah Fowler doesn't believe in wearing costumes.
她没我这么思想开放 She isn't the free spirit I am.
好吧 别妄想了 Okay, well, forget it.
我可不想在新年夜 I'm not spending my New Year's Eve
扮成神奇女侠在漫画店度过 at a comic book store wearing a Wonder Woman costume.
他说要是你当水行侠 他愿意当神奇女侠 He says he'll wear it if you'll be Aquaman.
你在做啥子 What are you doing?
我们要迟到了 We're going to be late.
我在紧张地踱步 I'm pacing nervously.
你这是在慢跑 You're jogging.
闪电侠就这么踱步的 This is how the Flash paces.
淡定点 谢尔顿 Just chill out, Sheldon.
我不是谢尔顿 我是闪电侠 I'm not Sheldon. I'm the Flash.
现在我要去大峡谷吼叫 And now I'm going to the Grand Canyon
发泄我心中的沮丧 to scream in frustration.
我回来了 I'm back.
蝙蝠侠来也 I'm Batman.
坑爹呢你 Oh, I hardly think so.
真正的蝙蝠侠要是迟到 The real caped crusader calls his crime-fighting cohorts
会打电话通知战友的 when he's running late.
我是走路过来的 I had to walk.
拉杰上不了我的小摩托车后座 I couldn't get Raj on the back of my scooter.
我说过无数次了 但我还是要说 I've said this before, and I'll say it again.
水行侠太衰了 Aquaman sucks.
仰望天空 那是只鸟 是架飞机 Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane.
后面的我忘了 I forget the rest.
（后面那句应该是"那是超人"）
好吧 我们早死早超生吧 All right. Let's get this thing over with.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
哪儿来的金发神奇女侠啊 But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?
龟毛个啥 谁会盯着她的头发看啊 Relax. No one's going to be looking at her hair.
痛啊 Ow!
应该是 I mean,
可恶 ow.
等等 那套服装里的黑色假发呢 宝贝儿 Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?
我才不要戴那个 看着逊毙了 No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
拜托 我们可是要去比赛争冠军 Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
想也别想 反正我不戴假发 Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
佩妮 正义联盟里没有"小我"之说 Penny, there's no "I" In "Justice League."
（事实上 Justice里有个"i" = =|||）
其实... Well, actually...
闭嘴 他在为我们说话呢 Don't. He's making our case.
好吧 宝贝儿 Okay, babe. Uh...
你让我在朋友面前有些难堪 Kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.
得了 告诉你 Okay. You know what?
我改主意了 我不去了 I changed my mind. I'm not going.
看来神奇女侠要换人咯 Looks like someone else is going to have to be Wonder Woman.
宝贝 开门 Babe, open up.
我不和你说话 I'm not talking to you.
那你现在在和谁说话 Then who are you talking to?
宝贝 Babe?
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny,
你到底有什么毛病 What the hell is wrong with you?
我是闪电侠 I'm the Flash.
我刚敲了三万次门 I just knocked 30,000 times.
得 你要干嘛 谢尔顿 Okay. What do you want, Sheldon?
我明白你为什么不开心 I understand why you're upset.
是吗 Really?
是的 Yes.
你担心这个装扮会让你显胖 You're afraid that costume makes you look fat.
不是 No.
怎么... Wh-What...
很显胖吗 Does it?
不用担心 Don't worry.
神奇女侠是亚马逊人 Wonder Woman was an Amazon.
亚马逊的女孩子都很高大健壮 And Amazons tend to be very beefy gals.
滚吧 谢尔顿 Good-bye, Sheldon.
但她们不是金发 快把假发戴上 But they're not blonde, so put on your wig.
听到吗 Hello?
傻逼水行侠 Stupid Aquaman.
不知道这样算不算安慰 If it makes you feel any better,
我以前和佩妮交往时 when I was dating Penny,
她也一直会生我的气 she used to flip out on me all the time.
啥 你和佩妮约会过 Whoa. You dated Penny?
她都没和你说吗 She didn't tell you?
她说和个叫莱纳德的人交往过 She told me she dated a guy named Leonard.
谁会想到那就是你 Who would have thought it was you?
那还能是谁 Who else would it be?
我也不知道 某个更壮的... I don't know. Somebody bigger and...
可不是 显然是你嘛 Yeah, sure. Why not you?
我也许失败了 I may have failed.
好吧 那我们只能不带神奇女侠去了 Okay, I guess we just go without a Wonder Woman.
佩妮不去我也不去 I don't want to go without Penny.
太好了 没有超人 没有神奇女侠 Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman?
就只有瘦骨嶙峋的闪电侠 All we've got is a skinny Flash,
印度水行侠 an Indian Aquaman,
近视的绿灯侠 a nearsighted Green Lantern,
还有个袖珍型的蝙蝠侠 and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
显然 这不能再称为正义联盟 Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League.
（指《The Muppet Show》[《大青蛙布偶秀》]）
没办法了 只能换布偶装了 We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
我要当科米蛙 Ooh, I call Kermit.
（科米蛙是该秀的导演和支持 斯库特是跑腿 剧场主人的侄子）
我才是科米蛙 你当斯库特 I'm Kermit. U're Scooter.
不要 斯库特太衰了 Oh, man. Scooter sucks.
他就是《大青蛙布偶秀》里的水行侠 He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.
不 不到最后不能放弃 No, we can still make this work.
莱纳德 你去找佩妮谈 Leonard, you talk to Penny.
你为啥觉得我能说服她 What makes you think I can convince her?
你都让她跟你上床了 You got her to have sex with you.
很明显 你的超能力就是给人洗脑 Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
好吧 看我这么说对不对 Okay, let me see if I understand this.
你想让我去说服我前女友 You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend
去跟她的新男友一起参加化装派对 to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend
就为了让我们赢那个愚蠢的奖吗 just so we can win a stupid prize?
对 记得让她戴上黑假发 好运 Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.
走开 谢尔顿 Go away, Sheldon.
我是莱纳德 It's Leonard.
走开 莱纳德 Go away, Leonard.
拜托 让我跟你谈谈 Come on, let me just talk to you.
门开着呢 It's open.
我不会去那派对的 莱纳德 I'm not going to that party, Leonard.
听我说 你不必戴那假发 Okay, listen. You don't have to wear the wig.
只要能带个女生去那派对 At this party, we're gonna win first prize
我们就等于不战而胜了 just by showing up with a girl.
不是假发的问题 It's not the wig.
那是因为我吗 Did I do something?
我想跟扎克交个朋友 I mean, I tried to be friends with Zack,
相信我 那对我并不容易 like you said, which believe me, was difficult,
鉴于你我之前... given how you and me used to be...
之前是我们 现在你和他在一起了 you know, "You and me," And now you and him are "You and him."
其实 我们并没真正在一起 Okay, look. We're not really "Me and him."
那你俩这算什么 Then what are you?
我不知道 I don't know.
我之所以重新跟扎克约会 I only started seeing Zack again
只因为我不想独自度过新年夜 so I wouldn't be alone on New Year's Eve.
多可悲啊 How pathetic is that?
没有穿成这个样子 Not as pathetic as dressing up like this
新年夜去漫画书店度过可悲 and going to a comic book store on New Year's Eve.
你扮成绿箭侠很可爱 You make a cute Green Arrow.
这是绿灯侠 Green Lantern.
又没什么区别 Like there's a difference.
有很大区别 There's a big difference.
射箭是这样的 Arrow.
提灯是这样的 Lantern.
随便吧 要是我和扎克去一个 Whatever. Look, if Zack and I had just gone
普通的夜店或派对 那就没问题 to a regular club or a party, it would have been fine,
但让我扮成这样 还有你... but this, with the costumes, and you...
我怎么了 What about me?
没什么 Nothing.
我们去派对吧 Let's go to the party.
我看起来怎样 How do I look?
我保证你会是派对上最靓的女孩 I guarantee you'll be the prettiest girl there.
好了 好消息是 我们有神奇女侠了 Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.
太好了 Oh. Yes.
坏消息呢 What's the bad news?
超人今晚不会有"性福"了 Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.
该死 Aw, damn.
获得最佳服装奖的组合是... And the award for best group costume goes to...
美国正义联盟... Justice League of America...
三号队 Number Three!
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you! Thank you so much!
好了 倒数十秒到新年 Okay. Okay, ten seconds to midnight.
十 九 八 Ten, nine, eight...
不 等等 No, wait!
我还得发言呢 I have a speech.
-七 六... -别数了 - Seven, six... - Stop counting!
-五 四 三... -这一时刻应该属于我 - Five, four, three... - This is my moment, dag nab it!
二 一 Two, one!
新年快乐 Happy New Year!
除非你们安静下来 I'm not going to say another word
不然我是不会再说话了 until you people settle down.
我等着呢 I'm waiting.
这派对真棒 That was a great party.
我们真该一直这样穿 We should dress like this all the time.
你嗑药了吗 Are you high?
现在是你在欺负他了 You're being a bully.
快看 Check it out.
那些人在砸车窗偷东西 Those guys are breaking into that car.
我们该怎么办 What should we do?
我们是美国正义联盟 We're the Justice League of America.
唯一能做的事 There's only one thing we can do.
就是转身默默走开 Turn around and slowly walk away.
算了 Nah.
等等我 Hold up.
我知道冬天恒温器要设定在 Look, I know our winter thermostat setting
华氏72度[约22摄氏度] 但我有点热 is 72 degrees, but I'm a little warm,
所以我调低点啊 so I'm going to turn it down.
帕萨迪纳[加州]
大峡谷国家公园[亚利桑那州]
天哪 你太让我失望了 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 Good Lord, how you frustrate me, Leonard Hofstadter!
好吧 Fine.