空空如也的盒子 Completely empty box.
你们可以检查一下 If you'd like to examine it...
好啊 Mm-hmm. Yep.
盒子里除了空虚的童年时光 空无一物 I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
吐槽过分了吧 学大提琴的 Little snarky there, cello Lessons.
这里还有一个十分普通的圆筒 And we have this completely ordinary cylinder.
你们也可以检查一下 If you'd like to examine it...
看似普通 不过我感觉到它 Ordinary, yet I sense it is
隐隐散发的魔力了 dripping with magical potential.
哦 真要命 Oh, dear Lord.
人家只是走开了一下 清了清肠子 A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels
顺便追一下斗篷战士[蝙蝠侠别称]的冒险之旅 and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader,
再出来就发现家里 only to emerge and discover his apartment
卡巴莱酒馆: 有歌舞表演的酒馆
赫然变成卡巴莱酒馆了 has been transformed into a cabaret.
谢尔顿 他是在为他表弟的 Sheldon, he's just practicing for
生日派对提前排练啦 his cousin's birthday party.
正如我所说 As I was saying...
空盒子 空圆筒 empty box, empty cylinder,
然后呢 and... ooh!
瞧啊 Voila.
我跟你讲 哥们 霍格沃茨特快的 I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on
车厢中 肯定有你的一席之地 the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.
你就准备用这种方式 This is how you're going to entertain
娱乐你的小表弟和他朋友吗 your little cousin and his friends?
靠蒙骗他们 By lying to them?
这怎么能是骗呢 How is this lying?
魔术表演本来就是充满了坑蒙拐骗 A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition.
"这是一顶普通的礼帽哦" "This is an ordinary top hat."
"这张牌是你随便抽的哦" "You've chosen that card freely."
"我的屁眼里可没夹着开锁工具哦" "I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister."
你就不能享受一下奇迹的瞬间吗 谢尔顿 Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon?
干吗一定要窥探揭秘呢 Why must you peek behind the curtain?
或是窥探人家的屁屁 Or up the butt?
跟小朋友说 帽子里变出了兔子 If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children
将会荼毒他们的批判性思维能力 by telling them that rabbits come out of hats,
他们成年后会相信占星术和顺势疗法 then we create adults who believe in astrology and homeopathy
导致瑞安·雷诺兹就因此比 and that Ryan Reynolds was a better choice
卖萌小混混 内森·菲利安更适合演《绿灯侠》 for Green Lantern than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion.
谢尔顿 Sheldon,
他只不过是给孩子们表演一点魔术而已 he's just gonna do a few magic tricks for some kids.
不会害那些孩子长大变成 I really don't think they're gonna end up
喜欢雷诺兹版《绿灯侠》的白痴 liking the Green Lantern movie.
别对他这么凶嘛 Don't be so hard on him.
他这么烦躁有情可原 因为他... It's natural to be a little cranky when you have...
耳朵里有25美分 a quarter in your ear!
硬币塞在别人身上一点都不好笑 Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement.
我五岁时 比利·斯巴克斯将一枚 When I was five, Billy Sparks put
墨西哥比索塞进了我的鼻子 a Mexican peso up my nose.
等一下 这哪里不好笑啊 Wait-wait-wait, how is that not amusing?
到现在还没弄出来 It's still there.
害我每次要耗费45分钟才能过机场安检 Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.
瞧 我把谢尔顿给变没了 Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
下次就用把他变不见为开场吧 Next time, you should open with that.
生活大爆炸 第五季 第十二集 By aBu 201705
哎呀 那边在约会的是谁啊 Ooh, look who's out on a date.
是帕萨迪纳市的超人气金童玉女 谢米组合 Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
她刚才回答之前的那问题了 And that is the answer to the question,
"为什么来芝士蛋糕工厂吃饭是错误的选择" what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory?
今晚是有值得特别庆祝的事情吗 So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
是的 Oh, yes.
我们的恋爱协议明确规定了 Our relationship agreement specifies
每个月的第二个星期四 that the second Thursday of every month,
如一个月有五个周四 则第三个星期四 or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays,
便是约会之夜 is date night.
好一段热情如火的感情啊 That is so hot.
好了 如无异议 上一次约会的概要记录 All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date
就算是已经阅毕并同意通过了 are considered read and agreed to.
有什么新事宜吗 Any new business?
你今天过得怎么样 How was your day?
棒极了 Superb.
今天早上我用字母麦片 This morning I made a palindrome
拼成一句回文 with my Alpha-Bits.
"宝宝帽子毛宝宝" "Nice hat, Bob Tahecin."
听起来你过得挺不错 Sounds like you hit the ground running.
我自己有一件好消息 I have a bit of good news myself.
我最近撰写的论文 My most recent paper
主题是协同性长时程增强 on how a cooperative long-term potentiation
何以找出神经元树突的记忆序列 can map memory sequences in dendritic branches
成功上了《神经元》杂志封面了 made the cover of Neuron.
哦 说到好消息 Ooh! Speaking of good news,
人家 somebody...
刚刚有了一百名推特粉丝哦 just hit 100 Twitter followers.
真好 That's nice.
总之 我一直梦想着这一天的到来 Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day
-已经很久很久了 -对啊我也是 - for a long time. - Yeah, me, too.
三位数的粉丝啊 不骗你 Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie--
这感觉太爽了 it feels pretty good.
谢尔顿 Sheldon,
我以唯一作者的身份在著名期刊上发表了 I'm the sole author on a paper being published
自己的论文 而且有可能改变 in a distinguished journal that may change
我研究的这个科学领域 the course of my field.
哎哟 101个了 Ooh, 101!
兴奋得都有些喘不过来气了 Air's getting a bit thin up here.
那么 准备好点菜了吗 So, are we ready to order?
稍等一下 Give me a minute.
我去整理一下仪容 I'm gonna go wash up.
好奇怪 Well, that's odd.
我们明明进来时就一起去了 We both washed up when we came in.
大概是排尿的委婉说法吧 It's probably a euphemism for urination.
谢尔顿 你有毛病啊 Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
没大有 当然 要说缺点的话 Not much. Although, I can be faulted
我就是太过于喜欢考拉熊了 for being overly fond of koala bears.
我也不知道怎么回事 I don't know what it is,
每当看到它们在桉树上大嚼特嚼时 when they start munching on eucalyptus,
我整个人都融化了 I just melt inside.
艾米刚告诉你一个好消息 Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news,
而你却表现得毫不在乎 and you acted like it was no big deal.
我知道你为什么会困惑 Oh, I see why you're confused.
她的消息听上去很重要 可你忘了 No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is,
那是生物学领域的成就 it was an achievement in the field of biology.
都是恶心黏黏的东西 That's all about yucky, squishy things.
亲爱的 她生气了 你是他男朋友 Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend.
你至少也该试着 You have to at least try to be excited
为她高兴的事而高兴吧 by the things she's excited by.
如果我就是高兴不起来呢 What if they simply don't excite me?
那就想想考拉 然后笑一个 Well, just smile and think about koalas.
她立马就能识破 She'd see right through that.
我们经常去动物园 We go to the zoo all the time.
她知道我看考拉的脸 She knows my koala face.
以备将来参考 就是这样 And for future reference, it's this.
你有这么多魔术道具啊 Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
对 Yeah.
我十几岁就开始玩魔术 I started when I was a teenager.
当年觉得可以先用小魔术泡妞 I thought I could show a girl a few tricks
再邀请她来房里看更多"好戏" and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
有用吗 Did it work?
这么说吧 唯一一"根" Ah, let's just say the only wand
有看到好戏的"棒子" 是这根 that ever saw any action was this one.
看我妈为我们的表演做的 Oh, look what my mom made us for the act.
这布料不错啊 I like the fabric.
她从哪得来的 Where'd she get it?
她把一条旧泳衣剪了 Well, she cut up one of her old bathing suits.
她做了这两件背心和六张餐巾 She made these two vests and half a dozen napkins.
她试了背心吗 Has she tried on the vest yet?!
我刚拿给她 I just gave it to her!
希望能合身 她身材不好量 I hope it fits-- she has a tricky figure!
跟我一样又矮又巨乳 She's short and stacked, like me!
她才不算巨乳 老妈 她不会踩到自己的胸 She's not stacked like you, Ma! She never steps on hers!
华仔 我可能不太适合 Listen, Howie, maybe I'm not the best choice
当魔术师助手 to be a magician's assistant.
你肯定行 把那些环递给我 You'll do fine. Hand me those rings?
瞧 你做得多好 See? You nailed it.
我只是不太喜欢跟小孩子在一起 You know, i-it's just that I'm not that comfortable with little kids.
那是因为你很少跟他们玩 Well, that's because you haven't been around them much.
这是练习的好机会 This is good practice. I mean,
你总有一天要做妈妈的嘛 you are gonna be a mom someday, right?
这倒是 Yeah, sure.
我好久没看过这个了 I haven't seen this trick in years.
这叫鸽子锅 It's called the dove pan.
先让观众看锅是空的 You let everyone see the pan is empty,
但其实盖子里有个暗格 but there's a secret compartment in the lid.
然后打开变出一个活的... And then you open it and produce a live...
千万别看里面 Don't look in there.
在玩死亡救赎呢 Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
对 Yes.
你怎么不做任务啊 How come you're not doing a mission?
只在那闲逛 You're just wandering around.
今晚被郁闷了 Had a rough night.
我想散散步 清静一下 I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
正常人会出门散步 Some people go outside and do that.
已经过九点了 这时候的帕萨迪纳街头 It's after 9:00-- at this hour the streets of Pasadena
到处是喝醉的水手和野猫 are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.
要不要谈一谈 You want to talk about it?
不要 No.
我还是进这家酒馆 I think I'll just go in this saloon
借酒浇愁吧 and drink my troubles away.
电子酒精是解决不了问题的 You know digital alcohol is never a solution.
出什么事了 What's going on?
说出来也没人信 Hard as this may be to believe,
我可能不是当男朋友的料 it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
幸好我是坐着听的啊 Glad I was sitting down for that.
你跟艾米吵架啦 Did you and Amy get in a fight?
艾米在吵 我可通情达理了 Amy had a fight; I was being perfectly reasonable.
我要喝杯威士忌 I'm gonna have a whiskey.
你要喝点什么吗 Do you want anything?
不行 酒后不能开车 No, I can't.
我一会儿还要玩侠盗猎车手呢 I'm playing Grand Theft Auto later.
我虽然不懂女人 Look, I'm no expert in women...
同意 I'll say.
人家好心帮你 没必要这么损我吧 That's not necessary when someone's trying to help you.
对不起 酒后胡话 你接着说 I'm sorry. It's the alcohol talking. Go on.
有时候 你得倾听女人的烦心事 Sometimes with women you want to listen to what upsets them
然后让她们知道你能成长和改变 and then show them that you can grow and change.
屁话 还有别的招吗 Nuts to that. What else you got?
我不知道怎么跟你说 I don't know what to tell you.
买礼物给她呗 Buy her something.
这有什么用 How does that work?
略过任何修复感情的手段 Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection
直接用撒钱来赢回她的爱 and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
这方法完全是我谢尔顿·库珀的作风 Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.
-不用谢我 -要谢谢你 - Glad I could help. - It's appreciated.
如果你这辈子能再找到一个女人 And if you ever manage to find a woman again,
我也很乐意回报你 I'll be glad to return the favor.
现在 所有环都 And now, all the rings are
神奇地连起来了 magically linked together.
我未婚妻也戴着一个神奇的环 My fiance's wearing a magic ring, too.
把我的钱都变没了 It made all my money disappear.
哦 对 Oh, ah, right.
昵称来自大魔术师胡迪尼
现在请看 奇妙霍迪尼的 And now, the great Howdini's
下一个神奇幻术 next miraculous illusion.
我们什么时候能吃蛋糕 When are we gonna have cake?
等你们完全被惊叹之后 After you've been thoroughly amazed.
我们现在就想吃 But we want cake now.
现在不给你们吃 懂了没 Well, you're not getting cake right now, capisce?
好了好了 Okay. Okay.
现在 我可爱的助手将递给我 Now, my lovely assistant is going to bring me
一大罐普通的牛奶 an ordinary pitcher of milk.
我知道这个魔术是怎么变的 I know how you do that trick.
那你知道怎么把嘴闭上吗 Do you know how to pipe down?
好了 现在我要把 Okay, we're going to
这张报纸卷起来 roll up this newspaper.
那个牛奶罐是假的 It's a fake pitcher.
你耳朵被耳屎堵上了是吗 You got wax in your ears?
这男人都说了这是个普通的罐子 The man said it's an ordinary pitcher.
霍迪尼 Howdini.
好的 现在我要把报纸塞进这里 Okay, we're going to stick this in here.
然后把牛奶倒进去 And then I'm going to pour in the milk.
但愿这个魔术会成功 I hope this works,
我可没带多余的裤子来换 because I didn't bring a change of pants.
你看 我谷歌过了 Look, I Googled it.
那就是个假罐子 It's a fake pitcher.
够了 That's it.
你今天没蛋糕吃了 No cake for you.
还有谁也不想吃蛋糕的 Anyone else want to join the No Cake Club?
她只是开玩笑而已的 孩子们 She's just kidding, boys and girls.
每个人都有蛋糕吃 Everyone gets cake.
他不许 Not him.
把罐子给我 Just give me the pitcher.
看好啦 Behold!
带错罐子了 Wrong pitcher.
我就说我跟小孩处不好嘛 I told you I'm not good with kids.
的确 Yes, you did.
我的裤裆好像开始结乳块了 Oh, I think my crotch is starting to curdle.
是这样的 小时候我妈工作忙 The thing is, my mother worked full-time.
弟弟妹妹们都是由我照顾 I had to take care of my brothers and sisters.
所以呢 Yeah, so?
那简直糟透了 Ugh, it was horrible!
又得给他们擦鼻涕 又得换尿布 With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers
整天听着他们扯着嗓子抱怨 and their little shrieky voices, always complaining.
我不想穿衣服 "I don't want to get dressed."
乔伊老是往我嘴里吐口水 "Joey keeps spitting in my mouth."
妈妈不是这样做华夫饼的 "This isn't the way Mom makes waffles."
好吧 那你就把手放进烤饼机里 Well, okay, put your hand in here.
看你喜不喜欢这焦手饼 Let's see how you like this waffle!
好了 冷静点 All right, settle down.
红灯 Red light.
红灯 红灯 Red light, red light!
没事儿 没撞 Okay, we're fine.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我知道这话会让我听起来像是个恶人 I know it makes me sound like a bad person,
但我真的不喜欢小孩 but I just don't like children.
不 这点我们都心知肚明 Yeah, no, we all got that.
但是你不觉得如果是亲生的孩子 But don't you think it'll be different
情况就会不一样了吗 when the child is ours?
是啊 等咱们的孩子毁了我的体型 Right, when it's our kid that's ruined my body
吵着我睡不了觉 害得我没工作没前途 and kept me up all night and I've got no career and no future
而且在未来的二十年里毫无幸福可言 and nothing to be happy about for the next 20 years,
情况当然是不一样了 sure, that'll be completely different.
是啊 Well, yeah.
这间珠宝店里的任何一件珠宝 I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store
都不可能比刚才 that Amy would appreciate more
看的那台增湿器更让艾米满心欢喜了 than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears.
天啊 我算是知道我说傻话时 Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you
你的感受了 when I say stupid stuff.
怀表 Ooh, a pocket watch.
好吧 我不认为艾米会喜欢怀表 Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch.
也许不会 但也许她会喜欢戴怀表的男人 No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.
还在说傻话 Still saying stupid stuff.
她喜欢手镯吗 Does she like bracelets?
她很喜欢她那个刻着 Well, she's very fond of her silver one
"青霉素过敏"的银手镯 that says "Allergic to penicillin."
没准他们这有差不多但是更讲究点的 Maybe they have a dressier version of that?
下午好呀 Well, how are we doing this afternoon?
你们有什么特别的需要吗 Are we looking for anything special?
没准给这位美女买个戒指 Perhaps a ring for the lady?
拜托 我们才不是情侣 Trust me, we are not a couple.
不好意思 Excuse me.
该嗤之以鼻的是我吧 哪轮得到你 I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out.
你要是泡到我这样的男人 得谢天谢地了 You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.
好吧 你说 Fine, go ahead.
拜托 我们才不是情侣 Trust me, we are not a couple.
抱歉 有什么可以帮到二位的吗 My apologies. How can I help you today?
他跟他女朋友吵架了 He's in trouble with his girlfriend
所以想给她买个礼物 and needs to buy her a present.
好的 就是靠着男人买道歉礼物 Great, trouble with girlfriends
我才供得起我女儿读大学的 is what's putting my daughter through USC.
这是真的钻石吗 Ooh, are these real diamonds?
一克拉等于一百分
是的 槽镶长钻 总重二十分 Yes. Channel set baguettes, 20 points total weight.
真神奇 Remarkable.
钻石 不过就是结晶状的碳而已 Diamonds, crystallized carbon.
人们每天去杂货店 Every day, people go to the grocery store
买回家的也是碳 and come home with sacks full of carbon
只不过是被人丢进烤炉 in the form of charcoal briquettes
当火源的炭块 that they toss in their barbeques and set on fire.
可你这只不过有几块 But just because you've got some carbon
分子排列整齐的碳 with the atoms stacked neatly,
你就指望我扔下几千美金来买 you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars.
实际上售价只有七百五十美金而已 Actually, that's only 750.
所有商品都打折 Everything's on sale.
真的吗 给我介绍一下那块怀表吧 Really. Talk to me about that pocket watch.
我还在琢磨那件事呢 I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.
我一直觉得我某天会当上爸爸的 I always thought I'd be a dad someday.
我也这么觉得 Oh, me, too.
你好有爱 You're so caring.
我脑海常浮现你把男孩抚育成男人的画面 I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.
太好了 霍华德 There you go, Howard.
看来拉杰会替你生孩子的 问题解决了 Sounds like Raj'll have your babies; problem solved.
一个男人对另一个男人表示关心 Hey, just because a man shows caring for another man
并不意味着是在向他表达 doesn't mean he's displaying the love
那种禁忌之爱 that dare not speak its name.
她明确说了不想要孩子吗 Did she definitely say she didn't want kids?
是啊 她十分不喜欢孩子 Yeah, she doesn't like them.
据我看来 孩子们也不喜欢她 And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual.
你打算怎么办 What are you gonna do?
我不知道 I don't know.
我无法想象没有孩子的人生 I can't see a life where I don't have kids.
谁都有孩子啊 I mean, people have kids.
就连大金刚都有个娃 小大金刚 I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr.
皆为经典任天堂游戏角色
有个孩子能让他教导如何绑架公主 So he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses
和怎么朝那意大利籍水管工丢木桶 and throw barrels at Italian plumbers.
绑架公主与朝水管工马里奥丢木桶 皆为大金刚经典游戏内容
但即使你有了孩子 也无法保证 You know, there's no guarantee even if you have kids
你就一定会喜欢他们啊 that you're going to like them.
太可怕了 你从哪得来这感触的 Wow, that's rough. Where'd you get that?
我妈最新著作封面上就写了这句话 It's right off the dust jacket of my mom's last book.
或许我和伯纳黛特不合适 Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.
霍华德 虽说海大何患无鱼 Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea,
可我看着你晃着鱼钩钓了这么多年 but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years.
千万别放鱼归海啊 Do not throw her back.
我也不想啊 可这事太破坏感情 I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker.
要是你妈知道你想取消婚礼会如何 What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?
她会气死的 Oh, it'll kill her.
但反过来说 她要知道以后没孙子抱 On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren,
也会气死的 that'll kill her, too.
不管怎么说 我妈会被气死这事我很有信心 So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.
你跟艾米说让她几点来 What time did you tell Amy to be here?
八点 8:00.
谢尔顿 你那挂表太可笑了 Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.
胡说 Nonsense.
我戴着就像列车长 I look like a train conductor.
你用什么借口引诱她过来的 Under what pretext did you lure her here?
我说 想过来坐坐聊聊吗 I said, "Hey, want to come over and hang out?"
很好 你要说了什么有深度的理由 Good, good, if you had said something clever,
她可能就起疑心了的 she might've gotten suspicious.
他在这干嘛 What's he doing here?
他想跟你谈谈 Okay, he wants to talk to you.
可我不想跟他谈 Well, I don't want to talk to him.
现在我对你也很失望了 And I'm pretty disappointed in you, too.
虽然我也气不了你多久 Although we both know that won't last.
谢尔顿 该你了 Sheldon, you're up.
谢谢 Thank you.
艾米 我想跟你道歉 Amy, I'd like to apologize.
你的成就非常惊人 Your accomplishment was impressive.
我以你为荣 And I'm proud of you.
-你用考拉脸想糊弄谁啊 -你看吧 -We both know that's your koala face. - I told you.
他给你买了礼物 Okay, look, he bought you this.
送我珠宝 Jewelry?
真的假的 Seriously?
谢尔顿 你是我见过最肤浅 Sheldon, you are the most shallow,
最自我中心的人 self-centered person I have ever met.
你真的以为你想操纵... Do you really think another transparently manipul...
是个皇冠 Oh, it's a tiara!
皇冠 我有了个皇冠 A tiara! I have a tiara!
给我戴上 快给我戴上 给我戴上 Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me,
给我戴上戴上戴上 put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
戴着真漂亮 You look beautiful.
当然漂亮 我是公主 这是我的皇冠 Of course I do, I'm a princess, and this is my tiara!
你说得对 送皇冠太过了 You were right, the tiara was too much.
霍华德 伯纳黛特到... Howard! Bernadette's...
她从我身边溜过去了 Oh, she slipped right by me.
我来还你的背心 Here's your vest back.
你留着吧 You should keep it.
以后说不定还有机会穿呢 You could wear it again sometime.
去哪穿啊 Where?
不知道 去打猎的时候吧 I don't know, hunting?
别忘了跟她谈谈那件疯狂的事 Don't forget to talk to her about this mishegas
就是我抱不上孙儿的事 where I don't get grandkids!
别担心 老妈 Don't worry, Ma.
我会的 只要我想出怎么 I will, as soon as I can figure out a way
跟她提出这个敏感问题 to bring up such a sensitive issue!
看来你告诉你妈妈了 I guess you talked to your mom, huh?
我当时很伤心嘛 I was upset.
我妈强壮的臂弯还是挺适合靠着哭泣的 My mom can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on,
忽略她灼伤人眼的镇痛剂味道就行了 if the smell of Bengay doesn't burn your eyes.
显然 要孩子这事对你很重要 Look, it's obvious having kids is really important to you,
我想出了一个办法 and I think I came up with a solution.
真的吗 Really?
太好了 是什么 That's great. What?
既然我赚的钱比你多得多 Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway,
让我工作而你在家照顾孩子怎样 what if I work and you stay home with the kids?
-我 -对啊 - Me? - Yeah.
陪孩子看儿童节目《小恐龙巴尼》 You know, you'll watch Barney
帮他们把卡鼻子里的麦片抠出来 and pull Cheerios out of their noses
然后带他们去跟其他孩子玩耍 and go on play dates,
而我出去工作 跟我们的同龄人 and I'll work and have conversations
一起聊天 享受我的人生 with people my own age and enjoy my life.
好啊 Yeah...
太好了 问题解决了 Yay, so we're good.
对 没问题了 Yeah, we're good.
我不知道这次算不算吵架 You know, I don't know if this counted as a fight,
不过想要来个吵后滚床单吗 but how about some make-up sex?
我喜欢 I would love that.
不过你耳朵后面是什么啊 But what is that behind your ear?
哇 是个安全套 Oh, look, it's a condom.