《生活大爆炸》 前情提要 Previously on The Big Bang Theory:
有谁会在做爱的时候说这样的话啊 Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?!
我不知道 高潮时刻 情不自禁嘛 I don't know. It was the heat of the moment!
放屁 高潮时刻应该是说 No, the heat of the moment is
"对 太爽了" "Ooh, yeah, just like that."
而不是说"你愿意嫁给我吗" Not, "Will you marry me?"
可航空航天局很想把我的望远镜装上太空站 NASA really wants my telescope up on the Space Station,
所以他们要让我提前升空 so they're putting me on an earlier launch.
什么时候 When?
下周五 A week from Friday.
什么 可咱们的婚礼就在那个周日呀 What? We're getting married that Sunday.
说的没错 You're right.
我不能去太空 I can't go to space.
我要结婚 I have to get married.
这个理由没人能反驳 No one can say that's not a good reason.
我这就打回给他 I'll call them back.
等你回来咱们再举办婚礼 We'll have the wedding when you get back.
你爸会气疯的 Your dad's going to be furious.
他不可能会同意我们延迟婚礼 There's no way he's going to let us postpone this wedding.
至少咱们努力过 Well, we tried.
我去跟他谈 I'll talk to him.
他不会拒绝他的宝贝女儿的 He won't say no to his little girl.
不 应该我去跟他谈 No! I, uh, I should talk to him.
来场男人跟男人间的对话 Man to man.
好吧 我跟你说老实话 All right, look, I'm going to level with you.
我很害怕进入太空 I'm terrified about going into space.
要是我回不来怎么办 You know, what if I don't make it back?
会没事的 女婿 It's going to be okay, son.
你真的这么想吗 You really think so?
当然 Of course.
伯纳黛特那么漂亮 A pretty girl like Bernadette,
肯定会找到新归宿 she'll find a new guy.
时至今日...
发射步骤12 显示正常
发射步骤12 收到确认
迈克 Hey, Mike?
什么事 Yeah...
我改变主意 不想去了 I changed my mind. I don't want to do this.
这个好笑 Good one.
没错 我向来幽默 Yeah, I'm a funny guy.
我还准备了个歇斯底里的段子稍后用 I also have a hysterical bit planned for later
整个发射过程我就狂哭给逗你们玩 where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.
谢尔顿 NASA电视台是哪个频道 Sheldon, what channel is NASA TV?
289台 位于288的游戏节目网络 289, right between the Game Show Network at 288
和290台的东岸迪斯尼频道之间 and the East Coast feed of the Disney Channel on 290.
我就爱他超常的记忆力 太性感了 I love his eidetic memory, it's so sexy.
谢尔顿 品客薯片的材料有哪些 Sheldon, what are the ingredients in Pringles?
干土豆 植物油 Dried potatoes, vegetable oil,
玉米 小麦淀粉 corn flower, wheat starch,
麦芽糊精 盐 maltodextrin, salt,
还有我最喜欢的材料 "一致性" and my favorite ingredient of all, uniformity.
娇躯一喘 子宫一颤啊 对吧 The uterus quivers, does it not?
那就是霍华德的火箭 哈萨克斯坦现场直播 There's Howard's rocket, live from Kazakhstan.
天啊 我好紧张 Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
我实在看不下去了 I don't think I can watch.
你有我紧张吗 我紧张得暴饮暴食四天了 You're nervous? I've been stress-eating for four days.
瞧我现在 Look at me.
只能穿我的发福裤了 I'm wearing my fat pants.
太震撼了 在半小时后 Remarkable. In just under a half hour,
霍华德屁股的正下方将有200公吨燃料被 200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion
定时爆炸装置点燃 right beneath Howard's keister.
全都由一个 All from a country
对世界经济的唯一贡献只有 whose entire contribution to the global economy,
俄罗斯方块和邮购新娘的国度所准备 has been Tetris and mail-order brides.
把该死的品客薯片给我 Give me those damn Pringles.
火箭所有系统准备就绪了吗
准备就绪
开始进入倒计时啦 Okay, we're in the final countdown.
你还行吧 How you doing over there?
很好 很好 Good! Good!
先问一下 简报当时说 Oh, quick question, I missed it in the briefing.
这身制服能容纳多少尿来着 How much urine do these suits hold?
生活大爆炸 第五季 第二十四集 By aBu 201705
果麦圈客 按一下你的风扇开关 Hey, Froot Loops, want to hit your fan switch?
完毕 Check.
果麦圈有个很基的广告 }因此被人拿来形容基
他叫你果麦圈客 是因为你那基友发型吗 He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut?
不 是因为我跟妈妈住 No, it's... 'cause I live with my mom
她有帮我弄水果麦圈早餐 and she makes me Froot Loops.
还是用你很基的原因吧 那个比较好接受 Go with gay story, people are more accepting of that.
其实 Actually,
果麦圈客刚跟一个女人结婚呢 Froot Loops just got married to a girl.
恭喜 Congratulations.
谢谢 我们决定要在发射前结婚的 Thanks, we decided to do it before the launch.
你和麦圈太太举办盛大婚礼了吗 You and Mrs. Loops have a big wedding?
还没有 两位不介意的话 Not exactly. Listen, if you don't mind,
我真的不打算聊天了 I'm not really up for chatting.
我只想静静坐在这里 I'm just going to sit here quietly
让我的人生在眼前一一闪现 and let my life flash before my eyes.
闪现得太快了 我再试一遍 That went really quick. Let me try it again.
闭上眼睛 伸出手来 Close your eyes. Put out your hand.
我有礼物要送你 I got you something special.
拜托 霍华德 我不会再上当了 Come on, Howard. I'm not falling for that again.
不 给你这个 No, here...
哦 华仔 Oh, Howie.
是颗星 A little star.
太漂亮了 It's beautiful.
帮我戴上 Put it on me.
好的 但我一会还要收回来 Okay, but I'm going to have to get it back for you
回头带到太空站里去 so I can take it to the International Space Station.
那样的话 等我回家 That way, when I come home,
你就能拥有一颗上过太空的星 you will have a star that was actually in space.
天啊 Oh... my God.
接招吧 送过你礼物的弱爆男人们 Take that, every guy who's ever bought you anything.
这是我收到的最棒的礼物 This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.
真的吗 你真这么喜欢的话 Really? Well, if you like it that much,
闭上眼睛 伸出手来 then close your eyes and put out your hand.
我要去超市给你买路上吃的零食 I'm going to the supermarket to buy snacks for your trip!
要我帮你买上你最喜欢的 Do you want me to get those little boxes of
水果麦圈吗 Froot Loops you like?!
不要 我吃水果麦圈的时候 No! When I eat Froot Loops,
别的宇航员都取笑我 the other astronauts make fun of me!
霍华德 我不想等到 Howard, I don't want to wait until
你回来再结婚 you're back to get married.
什么 What?
我想在你还没上火箭前就嫁给你 I want to be married to you before you get in that rocket.
但我过两天就要走了 But I'm leaving in two days.
谷物麦片要买吗 What about Apple Jacks?!
我不用自备麦片粥好吗 I don't need to take cereal!
你以为你在俄罗斯 What kind of breakfast do you think
他们会给你什么早饭吃啊 they're going to give you in Russia?!
他们发明了薄卷饼 饿不死我的 They invented blintzes! I'll be fine!
灯泡还是在纽泽西发明的呢 They invented the lightbulb in New Jersey!
去纽泽西也不会有人送你灯泡啊 It doesn't mean they hand them out to you when you go!
我们就跟朋友们办个小仪式就好了 We'll have a quick little ceremony with just our friends,
等你回来了 还是可以再办盛大婚礼的 we'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back.
好呀 我们结婚吧 Okay. Let's get married.
这样吧 给你买个高纤维的 You know what, I'll buy you All-Bran
免得你到时候在太空便秘 in case you get stopped up in outer space.
总之 我们决定今天下午 So anyway, we decided to go down to
去市政厅领证 City Hall this afternoon get married,
等霍华德回来之后再摆婚宴 and then have the reception when Howard gets back.
-好啊 -太好了 - Great! - That's so good!
我们知道这是临时通知 但还是希望 I mean, we know it's short notice, but we'd love you all
-大家都能出席 -不行不行不行 - to come with us. - No, no, no,
这不是我想要的婚礼 this is not the wedding I wanted!
我要的是我穿着伴娘礼服 I want to wear my maid of honor dress
在万众瞩目下 步上红毯 and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me,
弦乐四重奏演奏着《今晚的你如此美丽》 while a string quartet plays "The way you look tonight."
我们没有要用这首歌啊 That wasn't going to be our processional music.
但我要用啊 Well, it was going to be mine!
谢谢你们的邀请 但我不去了 Thank you for the invitation, but I have to decline
因为感觉挺没意思的 because it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy.
别这样 谢尔顿 会很有意思的 Come on, Sheldon, it'll be fun.
烂片《绿灯侠》你也说过有意思啊 That's what you said about The Green Lantern movie.
你大错特错了足足114分钟 You were 114 minutes of wrong.
艾米 你的答案呢 So, what do you say, Amy?
我能穿伴娘礼服去吗 Can I wear my maid of honor dress?
拜托 你真想穿着那身衣服去市政厅啊 Seriously? You're going to wear that thing to City Hall?
我就剩这点指望了 连这你也要夺走吗 It's all I have left! You're going to take that from me, too?!
-艾米 你真漂亮 -我知道 - Amy, you look great. - I know.
你上哪弄的啤酒 Where'd you get a beer?
从那边有纹身的小俩口那弄的 From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos.
可歌可泣啊 他们身处对立的贩毒团伙 Beautiful story: they're in rival drug gangs,
却要冒险来结婚 and they're getting married.
嘘 别让其他人知道 Shh, no one can know.
看看这些恋爱中的人 Look at all these people in love.
总会让你不禁思考 对吧 It kind of gets you thinking, doesn't it?
没错 确实 It does, indeed.
莱纳德 Leonard...
鉴于你最近向佩妮求婚了 is it awkward being here with Penny given that
跟她一起来是不是很尴尬 you recently proposed to her?
你向佩妮求婚了吗 You proposed to Penny?
我不想讨论这件事 I don't want to talk about it.
他在哪求婚的 Where did he pop the question?
你怎么回答 What did you say?
她不答应 能打住了么 She said, "no." Can we drop it now?
那不算正式的求婚 It wasn't a real proposal.
为什么不算正式求婚 Why wasn't it a real proposal?
他在交媾的时候问的 He asked her during coitus.
你有单膝下跪吗 还是本来就这姿势了 Did you get down on one knee or where you already there?
霍华德 婚礼的日子别这么说话 Howard, don't talk like that on your wedding day.
我错了 妈... 马... Sorry, Ma... Bernadette.
我"马"上收声 我的伯纳黛特 Ma... Burna... You're ma Bernadette.
多亏你告诉了谢尔顿 Good move telling Sheldon.
怎么 不许我求婚 也不许我跟朋友说吗 What, I can't propose? I can't talk to my friends?
还有什么事是我不许做的啊 Is there anything else I'm not allowed to do?
够了 别吵了 All right, that's enough.
今天的主角不是你们俩 Today is not about you two.
今天的主角是霍华德和伯纳黛特 Today is about Howard and Bernadette
还有我 and me.
各位请注意 Folks, can I have your attention.
现在已经五点了 It's five 0'clock ,
我们只能再注册三对新人 we're going to be able to take three more couples.
其他的人星期一再过来吧 The rest of you will have to come back on Monday.
不是吧 Oh, no.
交给我 I got this.
不好意思 Excuse me?
能不能通融一下 让我们先注册 But is there any way you could squeeze us in?
其实 我是一名宇航员 See, I'm an astronaut and
我周日就要去俄罗斯 I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so
乘坐联盟号火箭上国际空间站了 I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.
我也是呢 到时候见 Yeah, me, too. I'll see you there.
我不敢相信我们结不成婚了 I can't believe we're not going to get married.
失陪一下 我过去看看 Excuse me, I'm going to go see if the couple
排在前面的新人需不需要伴娘 at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.
我跟我老婆说 So, I tell my wife,
"买狗 或者不买狗 "get a dog, don't get a dog, I'm not walking it,
我就在这里 我就不遛狗 不喂不清" I'm not feeding it, I'm not picking up after it."
遛狗就是祸 是祸躲不过 You know you're going to wind up walking it.
我知道 I know.
你们不是该说些太空的事吗 Uh, shouldn't you guys be talking about
怎么说起狗来了 space stuff instead of dogs?
迪米特里 Dimitri,
果麦圈客说 我们谈谈 Froot Loops would be more comfortable
太空的事他会比较舒坦 if we talked about space stuff.
行啊 Okay,
我要去太空了 I'm going into space,
回来后 老子还得去捡狗屎 and when I come back, I have to pick up a poodle crap.
这样好点没 Is that better?
谢你们全家啊 Thanks.
其实我们可以开车去拉斯维加斯结婚啊 You know, we could always drive to Vegas and get married.
那也太俗气老套了吧 No, it's that kind of tacky?
我就认识很多在那里结婚的人呢 Hey, I know tons of people who got married in Vegas.
有到现在还没离婚的吗 Are any of them still married?
有啊 配偶不是同一个罢了 Yeah, I mean, not to the same people but...
天下之大 一定有能让我们结婚的特别之地 There's got to be some place special we could do it.
莱纳德 你以前想象在哪跟佩妮结婚呢 Leonard, where did you envision marrying Penny?
你别哪壶不开提哪壶 Will you shut up?
我知道怎么办比较特别 Well, I know how to make it special.
音乐之声 舞台剧/电影
我说过我们不模仿《音乐之声》 I told you we are not recreating the wedding
里面的婚礼 from The Sound of Music.
我知道 你早残忍地跟我挑明了 Yes, you made that brutally clear to me.
我想建议的是 What I was going to suggest is
如果你们愿意等到星期天早上结婚 if that you're willing to wait until Sunday morning,
谷歌的卫星会经过帕萨迪纳上空 the Google satellite will be over Pasadena.
卫星将会从太空拍下你们婚礼的照片 You can have your wedding photographed from space.
哇 酷毙了 Oh... That's so cool.
-挺有想法的嘛 拉杰 -我一直说 - Oh, way to go, Raj. - I keep telling you,
如果我没去当天体物理学家 if I wasn't an astrophysicist,
肯定会去当派对策划人 I would have been a party planner.
凡事都有两面性嘛 It was always a coin flip.
好 仪式的时间定在周日早上 Okay, so we know we're going to do it Sunday morning.
现在得找一个卫星照得到我们的好位置 Now we need to find a good place for the satellite to see us.
我们屋顶如何 How about our roof?
-我喜欢 -不错 - Oh, I like that. - That's great.
天啊 真不敢相信我的伴娘服 Oh, my gosh. I can't believe my maid of honor dress
要上谷歌地球的空照图了 is going to be on Google Earth.
地点和时间已经有了 So, we have the where and the when,
就差婚礼的证婚人了 but we still need to figure out who's going to do the ceremony.
那简单 谁都可以上网 Well, that's easy. Anyone can go online
受任当证婚牧师 and get ordained as a minister.
我知道一家刺青穿洞店 只要100块 I know a piercing parlor, where, for a hundred bucks,
他们就帮你证婚 你送你免费穿洞 they'll marry you and stick a wedding ring
想把婚戒穿入哪部位都行 through any body part you want.
不错 那谁来当证婚人呢 Great, well, who's it going to be?
我来吧 I'll do it,
前提是得让用克林贡语主持仪式 provided I can perform the ceremony in Klingon.
没门儿 No.
你是看上她哪点啊 What do you see in her?
指挥中心 请再说一次 漏的速度有多快
漏 什么漏了 Leaking? What's leaking?
当然是燃料啊 安静 Fuel. Shh.
还行
应该可以照常发射
收到 谢谢指挥中心
燃料在泄漏 我们还要照常发射啊 There's fuel leaking and we're still going to go?
别吓掉你的"圈子"[戒指]哦 果麦圈客 Don't lose your Froot Loops, Froot Loops.
这事经常发生 This happens a lot.
十次有九次都屁事没有 Nine times out of ten, no problem.
那第十次呢 What happens on the tenth time?
身后事 Problem.
伙计们 趁我还记得 Hey, guys, before I forget,
我给你们准备了伴郎小谢礼 I got you a little groomsman present.
-谢谢 -你太客气了 - Oh, thanks, man. - You didn't have to do that.
《神奇四侠》 1965年第三册 Fantastic Four, annual number three from 1965,
全新未拆封 in mint condition.
就是神奇先生和隐形女侠结婚的那集 The one where Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl get married.
哎哟喂 Oh, dear.
-我就害怕这样 -哪样 - I was afraid of this. - What?
虽然是很有心思的礼物 While a thoughtful gift,
但状态良好的这本漫画 this comic book in this condition
现在至少值100块钱呢 is worth at least a hundred dollars.
是啊 然后呢 Yeah, so?
我送给你和贝纳黛特的船形调味壶才88块 I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth $88.
这样就变成我欠你了 Which places me in your debt
而我不想欠你 and I can't be in your debt
因为哪天你可能会让我帮忙搬家 because someday you might ask me to help you move...
...或帮你去杀人 ...or to kill a man.
想杀人也不会找你帮吧 I doubt he'll ask you to kill a man.
万一他没得选了呢 Well, what if it's his only way out?
我不能冒这个险 I can't risk it.
这里是12块 Here is $12.
现在不拖不欠了 Now, we're even.
慢着 Wait...
我还有送卡片 退我2块钱 I bought a card. Give me two dollars.
所以我说嘛 我最讨厌送礼了 And for the record, this is why I hate gift-giving.
谁呀 Who is it?
新郎 It's the groom.
你不能进来 婚前见新娘会倒霉的 You can't come in. Bad luck to see the bride.
好吧 Okay, uh, fine.
妮妮 我得去接我妈 Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother!
马上就回来 I'll be right back!
她为什么不能自己开车过来 Why can't she drive herself?!
她不想坐皱她的裙子 She doesn't want to sit in her dress and wrinkle it
得让她平躺在小面包车后座才能载过来 so I'm going to lay her down in the back of my neighbor's van!
好吧 快去快回 All right, just hurry!
收到 妈... 马... Okay, I'll see you later, Ma... uh...
"马"上见哦 准新娘 lovely bride-to-be.
我真得好好注意下了 I really got to watch that.
快点 拉杰 可以开始了 Come on, Raj, we're ready to start.
什么 可不可以 What, we're ready,
得我说了才算 when I say we're ready.
好了 现在可以开始了 Okay, now we're ready.
妈 不坐过来怎么看得到啊 Ma, you want to move your chair over here so you can see?!
坐这儿就挺好 I'm fine where I am!
我可不想从屋顶上摔下去 I don't want to fall off the roof!
在你摔下去前 屋顶早被你压穿了 You'll fall through the roof before you fall off it.
佩妮 Penny.
你的新婆婆是个狠角色啊 Your new mother-in-law's a piece of work.
老爸 稍后再谈 Not now, Dad.
她的胡子比我的还"雄壮威武" She's got a bigger mustache than me.
上吧 少年 Here you go.
什么"上吧 少年" 我又不是橄榄球 "Here you go"? What am I, a football?
他这废柴要真能接到橄榄球就好了 Like that guy could catch a football.
霍华德 伯纳黛特 Howard and Bernadette,
今天我们作为你们的朋友兼牧师 the five of us stand before you as your friends
站在你们的面前 and newly ordained ministers.
大声点 Louder!
他们都有牧师资格 要一起给我们证婚 They all got ordained, they're all marrying us,
场面超有爱 it's adorable!
欲知详情 滚过来听 If you want to hear it, come closer!
两位 当我看到你们 Guys, when I look at the two of you
即将开始共度的人生旅程时 我心... starting your lives together, it fills... my heart...
我心充满... It fills my... heart...
我需要点时间平复一下 Okay, I'm going to need a minute.
还是我来致辞吧 Okay, I'll, I'll go.
霍华德与伯纳黛特 我知道 Howard and Bernadette, I know you two
这与你们计划的美妙婚宴大相径庭 planned on getting married in a big fancy wedding,
但只要彼此相爱 but when you're in love,
人间处处能成婚 形式不过锦上添花 it doesn't matter where or how these things happen.
因为拥有对方 便拥有全世界 It just matters that you have each other.
有意见吗 Problem?
没有 No.
我想牧师霍夫斯塔特是在讽刺 I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection
你对爱情的看法以及 between your statement about love and your rejection
在你房里求婚被拒的事 of his proposal in the bedroom.
-少幼稚了你 -话又不是我说的 - Oh, grow up. - Hey, I didn't say it.
够了 你们两个都收声 All right, that's enough from the both of you.
他先挑事的 Well, he started it!
那我息事可以了吧 Well, I'm ending it!
伯纳黛特 我想感谢你 Bernadette, I want to thank you
给我当你伴娘的机会 for allowing me to be your maid of honor.
我也想告诉你 I also want you to know,
如果你们以离婚告终 that I will be happy to do it again
我也愿再当你的伴娘 if this marriage craps out.
谢谢致辞 艾米 Thank you, Amy.
"感人肺腑"啊 Very touching.
霍华德 伯纳黛特 Howard and Bernadette,
能与最好的朋友彼此相爱 实乃三生有幸 you are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other.
这样的爱 情比金坚 And that's the strongest kind of love
因为你们的爱 充满着善意 because at its core, it has kindness,
耐心与尊重 patience, and respect.
这些优点在"某些人"身上偏寻不得啊 Qualities that are hard to find in people these days.
要来点芦荟修复精华吗 Would you like some aloe vera?
你被人虐得体无完肤啊 You just got burned.
好啦 轮到我了 All right, my turn.
霍华德 伯纳黛特 Howard, Bernadette...
[克林贡语]
谢尔顿 说了不许用克林贡语 Sheldon! I told you no Klingon!
好吧 我用英语说 Fine, I'll do it in English,
但祝辞会略失风味 but it loses something.
人穷尽一生追寻另一个人类 The need to find another human being
共度一生的事 to share one's life with,
我一直无法理解 has always puzzled me.
或许我自己太有意思 无需他人陪伴 Maybe because I'm so interesting all by myself.
所以 我祝你们在对方身上得到的快乐 With that being said, may you find as much happiness
与我给自己的一样多 with each other as I find on my own.
克林贡版本绝对能让你们痛哭流涕 The Klingon would have made you cry.
你们两个准备了婚誓吧 I believe you two have prepared vows?
霍华德·约尔·沃罗威茨 Howard Joel Wolowitz,
我的婚誓如同你 短小但美妙 like you, this is going to be short and sweet.
我全心全意 从灵魂深处爱着你 I love you with all my heart and soul
我愿一生一世 与你永不分离 and promise to be with you forever.
伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯滕科斯基 Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...
大声点 Speak up!
喂 现在起 Hey, from now on,
能吼我的女人只有她一个 she's the only women who can yell at me!
遇到你之前 Until I met you,
一生一爱 I couldn't imagine
共度一生对我如同天方夜谭 spending my life with just one person...
而现在 ...and now I can't imagine
分离一刻 便有如生离死别 spending one day of it without you.
以我们被加利福尼亚州所赋予的权利 By the power vested in us, by the state of California...
与克林贡最高议会 and the Klingon High Council...
我们现在宣布你们成为夫妻 ...we now pronounce you husband and wife.
开始点火了 That's ignition.
我爱死这部分了 I love this part!
我也爱 Me, too!
我内心五味杂陈啊 I have strongly mixed feelings!
天啊 要开始了 Oh, my God, it's happening.
我错过了吗 Did I miss it?
没 快来看 No, come on in. Hurry.
他是我的挚爱 I love that man.
也是我的 Me, too.
真不敢相信 I can't believe it.
之前我心里总是对这事有小小的怀疑 This whole time, a small part of me thought he was lying.
时刻已到 This is it.
勇往直前吧 霍华德·沃罗威茨 Boldly go, Howard Wolowitz.
亲娘咧 NOy vay...!