你绝对想不到我今天工作时遇上了什么事 You'll never believe what happened to me at work today.
一个老头子吃东西噎到了 我救了他一命 This old guy was choking on his food, and I saved his life.
真的吗 你对他用了海姆立克急救法吗 You're kidding. Did you Heimlich him?
没有 我说 天啊 我觉得他噎着了 No. I said, "Oh, my God, I think that old guy's choking,"
然后一个勤杂工对他用了海姆立克急救法 and then one of the busboys Heimlich'ed him.
你真是英雄 You're a hero.
我就是这意思 Yeah, that was the point of the story.
说到工作 你周四晚上 Oh, yeah, speaking of work, do you know
是不是不用上班 if you have Thursday night off?
好像是 怎么了 Um, I think so. Why?
什么叫"怎么了" 那天是情人节啊 What do you mean, why? It's Valentine's Day.
对哦 Oh, right.
我们可以约个会 Yeah, we can do something.
你可以表现得更热情一点 You could be a little more into it.
我很热情 我很热情 No, I'm into it, I'm into it.
只是要想度过一个特别之夜压力好大 Just, there's so much pressure to make the night special,
而且结果总不尽如人意 and it never works out.
今年的情人节会有所不同的 Okay, well, this time it's going to be different.
因为我就像一个浪漫忍者 Because I am like a romance ninja.
出乎你意料 突然一下 You don't see it coming, and then bam!
浪漫 注意 心形 亲亲 爱情 Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ooh-ya!
有时我以为我把你改造得 You know, sometimes I think I've made you
比以前酷多了 so much cooler than you used to be,
然后你就会闹腾两下证明我错了 and then you go and do that.
总而言之 So, in conclusion,
我认为吃完辣椒后 I believe the painful sensation felt
排泄时感受到的痛苦 after passing a meal of spicy chilies
证明了直肠的确有味觉 is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
我同意 但你改变了话题 I concur, but you changed the subject.
我们情人节有什么安排 What are we doing for Valentine's Day?
被你发现了 Oh, you caught that, did you?
生活大爆炸 第六季 第十六集
好 Okay.
行 Okay.
可以 Okay.
没问题 Okay.
好的啦 Okay!
好 Okay.
一切都还"好"吗 Everything okay?
妮妮有些暴躁 Bernie's a little cranky
因为她一天工作17个小时 since she's been working, like, 17 hours a day.
我也没闲着 因为我一直 And I've got a lot on my plate, too, because I've been
都在忙着玩《刺客信条》 busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.
斯图尔特 Hey, Stuart,
你情人节有什么安排吗 you got anything going on for Valentine's Day?
没有 Not really.
只是把这里所有尖锐的东西都藏起来 Other than hiding all the sharp objects around here
然后紧张兮兮到天明 and white-knuckling it till morning.
你打算干什么 What do you got going on?
我本打算和我的小宝贝 Oh, well, I was going to spend the night
共度今晚 但是 with my special little lady, but, uh,
它长了寄生虫 所以我得送它去看兽医 she got worms, and then I had to take her to the vet.
肯定能找到事情打发时间的 There must be something we can do.
不如你晚点关门 Well, uh, how about you keep the store open late,
我们举办一个派对 and we throw a party for all the people
邀请所有没约会的人 who don't have dates?
听起来真是个好主意 That actually sounds kind of nice.
派对主题是 一个男人所拥有的 Yeah, the theme will be that the greatest love
最伟大的爱就是对自己的爱 a man can have is the love he has with himself.
挺好 That's good.
或者换个听着不那么像打飞机的主题 Or maybe something a little less "Hand in the pants."
艾利克斯 太好了 Oh, Alex, excellent.
我有个研究问题 I have a research problem
我相信你能助我一臂之力 that I believe you can help with.
库珀博士 谢谢 Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you.
我一直在等待一个机会 I've been waiting for an opportunity
为你的科研做出贡献 to contribute to your scientific work.
不不 没那可能 绝对没 Oh, no, no. That's not going to happen, no.
我是要你为我的女朋友 What I need you to do is find a Valentine's gift
挑情人节礼物 for my girlfriend.
你知道我推掉了 You realize I passed up an opportunity
费米实验室的工作 而选择与你合作吧 to work at Fermilab to take this job with you.
美国最重要的物理学研究中心之一
看来那些小伙子们得找别人 Well, I guess those chaps will have to have
来给他们的女友买礼物了 someone else buy their girlfriends presents.
这里有 Now, here is...
瞧瞧 Let's see.
这里 This is...
这里大概是两千块 This is about $2,000.
我觉得她喜欢猴子和灰色 Um, I think she likes monkeys and the color gray.
为我的科研做出贡献 Contribute to my work.
小孩子真是会胡扯 Ah, kids say the darnedest things.
去吃中饭吗 Hey, you coming to lunch?
稍等片刻 Yeah, one second.
过来 给你看个东西 Come here. I want to show you something.
你在看什么呢 What you looking at?
我想送个非常浪漫的 Well, I was trying to come up with something
情人节礼物给伯纳黛特 really romantic to give Bernadette
因为她最近 for Valentine's Day since she's been
真的很讨厌 such a pain in the ass.
找不到上面写着"你很讨厌"的贺卡吗 You can't find a card that says that?
来看看 Check it out.
我动用了材料科学实验室的 I used the atomic force microscope
原子力显微镜 在沙粒千分之一大小的心形上 in the material science lab and wrote our initials
刻上了我俩姓名首字母 in a heart 1/1,000 the size of a grain of sand.
太帅了 Oh, that's cool.
给微生物学家准备的"微小"情人节礼物 A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
她"微小"的丈夫送的 From her micro-husband.
太棒了 That is amazing.
你花了多长时间 How long did this take you?
大概12个小时 Mmm, about 12 hours.
我忙活了整个通宵 I pulled an all-nighter.
我知道 我的游戏时间 Yeah, I know, it really took a bite
惨遭侵占 out of my video game time.
你和佩妮打算干什么 What are you and Penny doing?
我打算带她去高级餐厅共进晚餐 Oh, I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner.
还不错 但从浪漫的角度来说 Oh, that's not bad, but as far as romance goes,
我觉得我的礼物完全胜过了... I think my gift hits it right out of...
-想和我们共进晚餐吗 -带上我吧 - Want to come to dinner with us? - Yes, please.
好 Okay.
艾米马上就会到 Amy will be here shortly,
她在期待超赞的情人节礼物 所以 expecting the perfect Valentine's gift, so...
该你了丫头 you're up kid.
尽请支招吧 Dazzle me. Go.
我确实有几个妙招 Okay, I think I have some really great choices.
我到艾米的Facebook主页上 I went on Amy's Facebook page
了解了一下她的喜好 and read up on her interests.
瞧吧 我就绝对想不到这样做 Now, see, I never would have thought to do that.
很明显 把此事交给你来办 Clearly, I made a good choice
真是太英明了 farming this out to you.
你得知道 But I am telling you,
艾米找到我做男朋友可真是中了头奖 Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot.
总之 我脚上有袜子 Anyway, my socks are on.
knock socks off 给人惊喜
快快把它们吓掉吧 Let's knock them off.
我知道她喜欢弹竖琴 Well, um, I know she loves playing the harp,
所以我找到了这个精致的音乐盒 so I found this beautiful music box
弹奏的是她最喜欢的曲子 that plays one of her favorite songs.
可是艾米已经有真正的竖琴了 Now, Amy already has a real harp.
那玩意可以弹任何曲子 And it can play any song.
这一招的高明之处在哪 What are you trying to pull here?
-不 我只是觉得这个 -下一个 - No, I just thought it would be... - Next.
好吧 Okay.
我知道她很喜欢《坎特伯雷故事集》 Um, I know she's a fan of The Canterbury Tales,
英国诗人乔叟的著名诗体短篇小说集
所以我找到了 so I found...
这张很酷的地图 this cool map
上面标明了书中人物在英国的旅行路线 that illustrates the characters' journey through England.
我们可以选个漂亮的框子裱起来 I thought we could put it in a really nice frame.
但她的手机里装了谷歌地图 But she's got Google Maps on her phone.
我词穷了 I don't know how to respond to that.
我希望还有第三个不错的选择 Well, I hope it's with a third good option,
这前两个也太逊了 because these first two... blah.
好吧 Okay.
幸运的是 我把最好的留在最后了 Well, uh, luckily, I saved the best for last.
艾米是个神经学家 Since Amy's a neuroscientist,
我做了点调查 发现 I did some research and found out
圣地亚哥·拉蒙尼·卡哈尔 that Santiago Ramony Cajal,
现代神经科学之父 the father of modern neuroscience,
曾绘制过许多脑细胞的手绘图 did lots of hand drawings of brain cells.
而我想办法拿到了 And I managed to find
这幅有其签名的版本 this signed print.
这个可真了不起 Oh, this is truly remarkable.
谢谢 Thank you.
我自己收下了 I think I'll keep it for myself.
那你的女朋友呢 What about your girlfriend?
太晚了 我说了这个归我了 It's too late. I call dibs.
这家餐厅真是不错 This place is really beautiful.
浪漫忍者 Wah... romance ninja.
抱歉迟到了 Sorry we're late.
没关系 我们刚坐下 No problem. We just sat down.
想来点红酒吗 Mmm, would you like some wine?
好 给我倒上 Yeah, fill her up.
叫你停再停 I'll tell you when to stop.
一切都还好吗 Is everything okay?
好极了 没法再好了 Terrific. Couldn't be better.
你奈我何 Oh, bite me.
我们今晚还是可以开开心心的 Look, we can still have a nice night.
告诉我在哪就行了 Just tell me where it is.
你要是能说到做到 我就会告诉你了 Maybe if you did what you said you were going to do, I'd tell you.
什么东西在哪 Uh, where what is?
她像对付小孩一样 把我的游戏机藏起来了 She hid my XBOX like I'm a child.
那可是我妈妈给我的生日礼物 Yeah, and my mom got me that for my birthday,
你要是不还给我 我就告状去 so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.
我每天都工作到很晚 I've been working late every night.
我只不过是要求他 All I asked was that he
把家里收拾干净 洗一次衣服 clean the apartment and do one load of laundry.
但他做了吗 没有 But did he do it? No.
他就那么心安理得地玩那蠢游戏 He just kept on playing that stupid game.
你这么喜欢按按钮 You like pushing buttons so much,
干嘛不按按洗衣机的按钮 try pushing them on the washing machine.
我道过歉了 I said I'm sorry.
道歉可洗不了我的内裤 哥们 Sorry doesn't clean my underpants, buddy.
我跟你说过了 翻过来穿就行了 I told you, turn them inside out.
然后我说我不愿意你奈我何 And I told you to bite me.
我们还想度过美好时光呢 Trying to have a magical night here, guys.
-见鬼 -怎么了 - Oh, son of a bitch. - What?
没什么 Nothing. Nothing.
说嘛 No, tell me.
那是我的前男友 It's just this guy I used to date.
后来他背着我和我的朋友格雷琴偷腥 Until he cheated on me with my friend Gretchen,
也就是和他在一起那女的 who's here with him now.
不是吧 You're kidding.
她好像瘦了不少 可恶 And it looks like she lost a lot of weight, damn it.
我知道他们的出现让你不开心 I know it's not ideal,
但没必要让他们毁了我们的夜晚 but don't let them ruin our night.
对 你说得对 No, you're totally right.
她可能是因为快死了所以这么瘦 She could be skinny 'cause she's dying.
这么想就对了 That's the spirit.
管他们的呢 You know what, screw them.
我们的夜晚会比他们的难忘许多 Our night is going to be way more special than theirs.
对 Yeah.
怎么了 What?
逗姐玩呢是吧 Oh, you got to be kidding me.
天啊 我愿意 Oh, my God, yes.
我愿意嫁给你 Of course I'll marry you.
谁说我们不行了 Two can play this game.
-佩妮 -给我起来 - Penny... - Get up.
好 All right.
所有在情人节没有伴侣的单身人士 It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day
能来这里聚聚真好 can come here tonight and be together.
是啊 我很期待 Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
事实上 我就想待在这里 哪也不想去 In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
除非有任何人愿意和你约会 Except on a date with anybody.
真的任何人都可以 Literally anybody.
我们在一起总是很开心 You know, you and I have so much fun hanging out.
如果你是个女孩的话 If you were a girl,
我们所有问题就迎刃而解了 all our problems would be solved.
什么 What?
你仔细想想 Oh, yeah, think about it.
我们可以总在一起玩 We'd hang out,
可以一起看漫画 一起看电影 we'd read comic books, we'd see movies.
这算得上是世间最美妙的关系了 It'd be like the best relationship ever.
听起来是挺好的 That does sound nice.
然后我送你回家 脱下你的小黑裙 Then I'd take you home, slip off your little black dress
把你搞到七晕八素分不清南北 and just pile-drive you into oblivion.
什么 What?
真不敢相信 Oh, I can't believe
他要和破坏我们感情的小三结婚了 he's going to marry the girl he cheated on me with.
这不是挺美好的吗 Isn't it kind of nice?
他曾经爱上了错误的对象 I mean, he was with the wrong person,
如今终于找到他的真爱 and now he found the right person.
怎么 我成了错误的对象吗 What, so I'm the wrong person?
那你是不是也想和格雷琴在一起啊 Maybe you want to be with Gretchen, too.
他们看起来挺开心的 They do look happy.
就算是今晚开心 Yeah, maybe tonight.
但一年以后 他就会 But a year from now, he'll be
潜伏在水槽底下摸寻他的游戏机了 crawling under the sink looking for his Xbox.
他肯定会的 Well, he will.
算了吧 何不忘掉他们 You know what? Why don't we just forget about them
好好享受我们自己的情人节 and enjoy our Valentine's Day?
好的 没问题 Yes, absolutely.
现在他们居然玩那种假到爆的 Now they're doing that phony
交杯酒把戏 link-arm-drink thingy.
这一招还是我教他的呢 I totally taught him that.
我以为我们说好不管他们了 I thought we were letting it go.
当然 只是 这太不公平了 好吗 We were; it's just... it's not fair, okay?
他们不是什么好人 They're bad people.
不配拥有幸福大结局 It's not supposed to end happy for them;
明明应该是我找到最后的幸福 it's supposed to end happy for me.
你已经找到你的幸福了啊 It did end happy for you.
你现在和我在一起 You're here with me.
是 是 我知道 Yeah, yeah, I know.
你这么敷衍的样子 很难不让我受伤 Okay, this is getting a little hard to not take personally.
得了 别又扯到你身上去了 Oh, come on, don't make this about you.
不是我 这是你的问题 Oh, I'm not. It's about you.
随便怎么都好 行吗 Yeah, well, whatever, okay?
我告诉过你 情人节就没好事 I told you, Valentine's Day sucks.
这个情人节不好过 而你就是罪魁祸首 This one does, and you're the reason why.
什么 What?
和他们比起来 You know, compared to them,
我觉得我们俩还过得挺不错的 I'm feeling pretty good about us.
我也这么觉得 Me, too.
不如我们不吃甜点 早点回家 How about we blow off dessert, go home early...
然后我把衣服都洗了 I'll do that laundry.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 Love you, too.
你到底把游戏机藏哪里了 So where'd you hide it?
你永远想不到去看的地方 Where you'd never look.
见鬼 原来是藏在洗衣机里了 Damn it, it's in the washing machine.
你好 Hello.
情人节快乐 Happy Valentine's Day.
好的 Okay.
我们去吃饭吧 Shall we go to dinner?
等一下 Hang on.
你知道 我原本计划了传统式的浪漫之夜 As you know, I had planned a traditional evening
还有互赠礼物 of romance and gifts.
是的 Yes,
而你也知道 and as you know,
我计划全程假装乐在其中 I planned to pretend to enjoy it.
我已经练习这种面部表情一整天了 I've been working on this facial expression all day.
我感谢你的努力 And I appreciate your effort,
但仔细一想 but upon contemplation,
我觉得自己太自私了 I decided I was being selfish.
所以 我取消了晚餐订位 So, I canceled our dinner reservations
想到了另一个更好的办法 and came up with an even better way
来庆祝情人节 to celebrate Valentine's Day.
什么办法 What is that?
就是什么都不干 By doing none of it--
不吃什么晚餐 no dinner,
不要什么浪漫 不送任何礼物 no romance, no gifts.
我们留在家里 点个披萨外送 We stay here, order a pizza
看一部你最爱的 and watch one of your beloved
星际大战之类的片子 Star War Trek things.
你说真的吗 Really?
这才是你真心最爱的 不是吗 Well, that's what you'd love, isn't it?
胜过世上的一切 More than anything.
好吧 Well, then...
那我们就这么做吧 that's what we're going to do.
我不知该说什么了 Well... I don't know what to say.
这可是我收到过的所有礼物中 This is the most thoughtful gift
最有心的一件了 that anyone's ever given me.
比我上午送给自己的 And that's including an amazing gift
一件超级棒的礼物还要好 that I gave myself earlier today.
我是你的女朋友 这是我的责任 I'm your girlfriend. That's my job.
我知道挑礼物这事总是让你倍感压力 And I know gift-giving puts a lot of pressure on you,
所以不管你准备了什么给我 你都可以退掉它 so whatever you got me, you can return.
不行 No.
不 就因为今晚你什么都没为我做 No, after everything you didn't do for me tonight,
我希望你收下这个礼物 I want you to have it.
这是什么 What's this?
读读看 Read it.
谢尔顿·库珀 "Sheldon Cooper,
加利福尼亚理工大学员工资料 Caltech University employee information"?
读读下面 At the bottom.
一旦发生紧急情况 请与 "In case of emergency, please contact...
艾米·菲拉·福勒联系 Amy Farrah Fowler."
还有我的电话号码 And there's my phone number.
这真是你给我的最美好的礼物了 This is the most beautiful gift you could've ever given me.
反正我想 Well, I thought,
如果我中风 或者得了肾结石 if I have a stroke or a kidney stone,
我会愿意和谁分享这件事呢 who would I want to share that with?
而你选择了我 And you picked me.
就像你刚才说的 It's like you said--
你是我的女朋友 you're my girlfriend.
谢尔顿 Oh, Sheldon.
可以了 Okay.
别扫情人节的雅兴 快给我叫披萨外送 Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza.
-晚安 -好的 - Night. - Yep.
知道吗 You know what?
你刚才真够差劲的 That was pretty crappy of you.
我只想给你一个浪漫的情人之夜 I mean, all I wanted to do was give you a great night,
而你却竭尽所能地搞破坏 and it's like you-you went out of your way to destroy it.
没错 Yeah, I know.
我就是一个贱人 I'm a total bitch.
-我没这么说 -我是的 - I'm not saying that. - Well, I am.
好吧 拗不过你 你是贱人 Fine, you win. You're a bitch.
我们为什么不能好好过一个情人节 Why couldn't we just have a nice time?
我不知道 I don't know.
也许是因为最近我们进展太顺利了 Maybe 'cause things are going so well between us lately
我真的很开心 and I've been really happy.
好吧 你这解释让我更混乱了 Okay, you're gonna have to make a lot more sense than that.
显然 我有承诺恐惧症 Obviously, I have some commitment issues.
有眼睛的人都看得出来 继续说 Glaringly obvious. Go on.
只要我们继续顺利交往下去 As long as things keep going great between us,
你会不断向我求婚 you'll keep asking me to marry you,
最终我会答应 and eventually I'm gonna end up saying yes,
然后我们就会天长地久 and then we're gonna be married forever,
整件事让我想起来就头皮发麻 and the whole thing just freaks me out.
好吧 Okay.
我知道我这人有喜欢求婚的毛病 I know I propose a lot.
你看这样行不行 So how about this?
我发誓 我再也不会向你求婚 I promise I will never ask you to marry me again.
你这是什么意思 What... what do you mean?
你是要和我分手吗 Are you breaking up with me?
不 No.
不是的 No, no, no, no.
但如果有一天你想结婚 But if someday you decide you want to get married,
你得向我求婚 you have to propose to me.
-真的吗 -是的 - Really? - Yes.
主动权在你 It's all on you.
不过我得提醒你 真到了那个时候 But I got to tell you, when the time comes,
你一点也不能含糊 I want the whole nine yards.
你得给我单膝跪地 满地鲜花 I want you down on one knee, flowers.
你得把我哄得芳心犹如小鹿乱撞 I want to be swept off my feet.
没问题 Yeah, you got it.
我不反对来个惊喜 And I'm cool with surprises.
但千万别来个大屏幕求婚 But nothing on a Jumbotron.
我不想满球场的人看着我泪如雨下 I don't want to cry on a big screen like that.
好的 Okay.
知道吗 You know what?
可能酒劲上来了 This might be the wine talking,
我有个非常重要的问题问你 but I have a very important question to ask you.
是吗 You do?
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 Leonard Hofstadter...
什么事 Yes?
你愿做我今夜的情人吗 ...will you be my valentine?
抱歉 咱们明年再说吧 Sorry. Maybe next year.
开个玩笑 I'm just kidding!
浪漫忍者杀到 咱上床去吧 Romance ninja. Let's have sex!
多谢你们办这场派对 Thank you, guys, for doing this.
很高兴你能来 We're glad you could make it.
通常我在情人节这天是悲伤寂寞的 Usually I spend Valentine's Day sad and alone.
今年 我只是悲伤而已 This year, I'm just sad.
你说这个节日怎么就令大家这么不开心呢 What is it about this holiday that makes people so unhappy?
就是说啊 I know.
大多数时候 我都挺讨厌自己的 I hate myself most of the time,
但今晚 我知道其他人也好不到哪里去 but tonight's the night I know everyone else does, too.
我觉得你挺酷的 I think you're cool.
多谢你看得起 Great.
我跟你们说 I got to tell you,
我们不能再这样自我折磨了 we've got to stop beating ourselves up like this.
各位 不好意思 Excuse me, everybody.
请大家听我说几句 Can I have your attention, please?
今晚我们齐聚一堂是因为 We're all here tonight because...
我们没有另一半相陪 we have no one to be with.
但这样并不代表我们是异种 But... that doesn't make us mutants.
这里真正的异种全在漫画书里 The only mutants here are in these comic books.
我们不能再以是否有恋爱对象 We've got to stop defining our self-worth
来定义我们的自我价值 by whether or not we're in a relationship.
知道我放眼过去看到什么吗 You know what I see when I look around?
我看到一屋子了不起的人 I see a room full of great people.
我们别再跟自己过不去了 So let's give ourselves a break.
我们是一个联盟 We are a community,
只要我们团结在一起 and as long as we have each other,
我们就不是寂寞的 we're never truly alone.
真是不错 That was cool.
你说的那些话 What you said.
你真这样想吗 You really think so?
是的 Yeah, I do.
谢谢 Thank you.
你想不想 Would you like to, uh...
去喝杯咖啡 get a cup... A cup of coffee or...?
好的 Okay.
哥先走一步了 废柴联盟 Later, losers!
喂 Hello?
又是急诊 Another medical emergency?
这次他又怎么了 What's wrong with him now?
我严重怀疑他是不是真被虎纹捕鸟蛛咬了 I seriously doubt he was bitten by a Chinese bird spider.
直译名为中国鸟蜘蛛
一个肿块怎么可能有亚洲感 How exactly does a bump feel Asian?
让他接电话 Just put him on the phone.
谢尔顿 我不会再开车过去了 Sheldon, I am not driving over there again.
因为我昨天开车去了 Because I drove over there yesterday
你说得了脑瘤 结果却是 for a brain tumor that turned out to be
冰淇淋吃快了导致头痛 an ice cream headache.
是的 我依然想做你的紧急联系人 Yes, I still want to be your emergency contact.
是的 你可以吃冰淇淋吃得过快 Yes, you can eat your ice cream too fast
同时又有脑瘤 and also have a brain tumor.
我马上来 I'm on my way.
真是脑瘤很多事情就说得通了 Brain tumor would explain a lot.