你在干嘛 What you doing?
你叫我收拾嘛 You said clean up.
我就在收拾啊 I'm cleaning up.
你不能只把东西都往衣橱里扔啊 You can't just throw everything in the closet.
你可以叫我做事 Hey, you can tell me what to do
或者是教我做事 or you can tell me how to do it,
但只有做爱时 才可以边叫边教 but you can't do both; this isn't sex.
要是有人看到里面怎么办 What if someone looks in there?
他们只是来吃顿饭而已 They're just coming over for dinner.
没人会看衣橱的啦 No one's gonna look in the closet.
谁知道啊 Well, you don't know that.
万一有人找厕所 What if someone's looking for the bathroom
不小心打开了这扇门呢 and they open that door?
也行啊 Could work out.
这里面某处还真有个厕所呢 For all we know, there's a toilet in there somewhere.
好吧 但今晚过后 Fine. But after tonight,
我们就得好好整理这衣橱 we need to get a handle on this mess.
知道我们应该怎么做吗 You know what we should do?
故意让谢尔顿看到这衣橱 We should show the closet to Sheldon.
为什么 Why?
你傻啦 Are you kidding?
他简直是整理大师好吗 He's like a savant at organizing.
他公寓里所有东西都有标签注明 Everything in his apartment has a label on it.
连他的标签机上 都有个标签 Including his label maker, which has a label
写着"标签机" that says "Label Maker."
而且如果你仔细往标签机上的标签看 And if you look really close at that label maker label,
你会发现有个小小标签写着"标签" you'll see a label that says "Label."
他是客人 He's our guest;
我们怎么可以让客人整理衣橱呢 we can't just ask him to straighten our closet.
我们当然不会问他来做 No, we wouldn't ask him.
我们只要让他瞧见就行了 We'd just show him the closet
之后他脑子里的小妖精就会煽动他了 and let the goblins in his head take it from there.
大家请进 Hey, guys, come on in.
-闻起来好香啊 -谢谢 - Ooh, it smells good. - Thanks.
谢尔顿 我知道今晚是你的泰国菜之夜 And, Sheldon, I know tonight's the night you eat Thai food,
所以我去了亚洲超市 买了一切所需材料 so I went to the Asian market, got all the ingredients
从零开始学 and made it from scratch.
你不用这样大费周章 Oh, you shouldn't have.
这是我的荣幸 Oh, it's my pleasure.
不 你真的不用这样 No, you really shouldn't have.
我自己带了 I brought my own.
你中间还带他去买外卖啦 You stopped and got him takeout?
我没得选嘛 I had no choice.
他一直踢我驾驶座背后 He kept kicking the back of my seat.
谢尔顿 我花了一整天时间煮呢 Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.
好吧... 现在觉得自己蠢了吧 Well... now don't you feel silly.
带他去看衣橱 Show him the closet.
生活大爆炸 第六季 第十九集
这春卷真是太美味了 These spring rolls are amazing.
好手艺啊 伯纳黛特 Good job, Bernadette.
那是谢尔顿带来的外卖 That's the takeout that Sheldon brought.
我肯定要不是先吃了你的菜 Oh, well, I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted
这玩意肯定没那么好吃 nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first.
霍华德 你的衣服想怎么分类 Howard, did you want your clothes arranged
是按季节 还是按颜色 seasonally or by color?
按颜色就行了 Color's fine.
错误 我会按季分类 Wrong, they'll be arranged seasonally.
谢尔顿 你不坐下陪陪艾米吗 Sheldon, aren't you gonna spend a little time with Amy?
没事的 我习惯了 Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it.
那天在超市 他花了一个小时 The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an hour
最佳化起司区的排列法 optimizing the cheese aisle.
是啊 但他们都不感激 Yeah, and some thanks I got.
助理经理还用手工制意大利香肠 The assistant manager chased me out
赶我走呢 with an artisanal salami.
他的小怪癖让人更爱他 His quirks just make you love him more.
你们谁也附和我一下嘛 Someone please agree with me.
谢尔顿 好啦 Sheldon, come on.
时间晚了 回家吧 It's getting late. Time to go.
再给我五分钟 Oh, five more minutes.
你五分钟前就这么说过了 That's what you said five minutes ago.
艾米和佩妮都在车上等了 Amy and Penny are already in the car.
走吧 Let's move it.
为什么总不让我做我想做的事啊 How come I never get to do anything I want to do?
他要是真的想留下到整理完毕 You know, if he really wants to stay and finish,
我可以载他回家 I can give him a ride home.
求你了 莱纳德 他都说没关系了 Please, Leonard! He said it's okay!
谢尔顿 都... Sheldon, it's--
等等 可以不用载你回家吗 拜拜 Wait, I can go home without you? Bye!
霍华德 我有几个问题 Howard, I have a few questions.
我找到了三个保龄球瓶 I found three bowling pins.
这是抛接用的三个瓶呢 Now, do you juggle these,
还是你丢了七个 or are you missing seven?
杂耍抛接 Juggle.
小混球害我要想破头了 You health nuts kill me.
天啊 太整齐了 Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
看 他发现了我藏起来的抛接球瓶 Look, he found the juggling pins I hid.
还有几样东西 Uh, just a couple more items.
霍华德 我在盒子里找到这封你爸写的信 Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box.
根据里面的内容呢 Now, based on the content,
可以被分类去... it could either be filed...
你还打开看啦 Whoa, you opened this?
得读过才知道这是私人信件 Well, I had to find out if it was personal correspondence
还是纪念性的信件 我刚说到 or memorabilia. Now, as I was saying,
-根据内容呢... -我没兴趣知道 - based on the content... - I couldn't be less interested.
走吧 我载你回家吧 Now, come on, I'll take you home.
霍华德 你不想知道信里的内容吗 Howard, don't you want to know what's in the letter?
我要想知道 我多年前就拆开看了 If I wanted to know, I would've opened it years ago.
衣橱现在看起来超整洁 The closet looks great.
咱们走吧 Let's get out of here.
等等 我能拿上这盒 Wait, can I bring this box
备用衣服纽扣 在车上整理着玩吗 of extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride?
-你高兴就好 -谢谢 - Do whatever you want. - Thanks.
今晚派对超棒 Great party.
你知道我刚认识霍华德那会 You know, when I first met Howard,
他会把阴囊从短裤里拉出来 he would pull his scrotum out of his shorts
然后大喊 "看 我坐到口香糖上了" and say, "oh, I sat in gum."
你到底想说什么 What is your point?
如今他变得这么成熟 感觉怪怪的 Well, it's just kind of weird how grown up he is now.
婚姻美满 还会在家宴请朋友 Happily married guy throwing dinner parties.
是吗 你直接这么说不行吗 Really? You couldn't just say that?
还非得讲一遍阴囊的故事 You had to tell the scrotum story?
描述下他以前幼稚的画面嘛 Trying to paint a picture.
换个方式 不再围着咖啡桌吃外卖 Yeah, it was a nice change of pace
的确也是不错的改变 not eating takeout around a coffee table.
要知道 我们也可以宴请一下朋友们 Mm, you know, we could throw a dinner party, too.
还可以要求大家都盛装出席 Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
好呀 Sure.
不过 你所谓的盛装出席 Just, when you say "Dressed up,"
是指穿着得体的衣服 是吧 you mean nice clothes, right?
而不是指穿着斗篷紧身衣之类的玩意 Not, like, capes and tights and crap?
当然 Yeah.
-不过 -不行 - Although... - No!
华仔 你没事吧 Howie, you okay?
没事 我只是...睡不着 Yeah, I just... couldn't sleep.
都叫你晚餐后别喝浓缩咖啡了 Told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner.
我知道那些小杯子显得你人高马大 I know the little cups make you feel big,
可这实在是得不偿失呀 but it's not worth it.
都怪这份讨厌的信 It's this stupid letter.
你看了吗 Did you read it?
没有 No.
你一定很好奇 You must be curious.
我当然好奇了 Of course I'm curious.
从很小的时候 I haven't seen the man since,
我就再也没见过他了 oh, I was a little kid.
然后在我18岁生日时突然寄来一封信 And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday?
这算是什么意思 What's that about?
你为什么不读读看呢 Why don't you read it?
也许他为不辞而别做出了道歉或者解释 Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left.
他抛弃了我和我妈 He abandoned me and my mother.
他有什么资格来做解释呢 Why does he deserve a chance to explain anything?
我明白 I get that.
那你准备怎么办呢 So, what do you want to do with it?
很久以前我就应该这么做了 Something I should've done a long time ago.
-真的 你确定吗 -确定 - Really? Are you sure? - Yep.
-心里舒服点了吗 -舒服了 - Feel better? - I do.
这下好了 Great.
咱俩的身高都够不着那烟雾报警器 Neither one of us is tall enough to reach that.
我真不敢相信他烧掉了那封信 I can't believe he set it on fire.
对啊 他看到那封信就心烦 Yeah, just seeing that letter really freaked him out.
再说他那天本来就过得不开心 And he was already having a tough day
他不小心穿着我的裤子去上班了 'cause he accidentally wore my pants to work.
我真不懂他有什么不开心的 I don't know why he was upset.
他穿那裤子比我穿着还宽松呢 They were bigger on him than me.
我真好奇那信里写了什么 Boy, I'm really curious what's in that letter.
我也好奇 不过我们永远无法知道了 Me, too, but I guess now we'll never know.
你说谢尔顿读过那封信 Well, you said Sheldon read it.
何不去问问他 Why not ask him?
我不能这么做 I can't do that.
不尊重老公的隐私 What kind of wife would I be
还算什么好人妻呢 if I didn't respect my husband's privacy?
如果我去问谢尔顿的时候 What if I ask Sheldon,
你"碰巧"在场呢 you just happen to be in the room?
-这主意好 -走吧 - That works. - Okay.
就跟清理整幢大楼的脏肚脐眼似的 Like cleaning out the entire building's belly button.
-谢尔顿 -你们好 - Hey, Sheldon. - Oh, hello.
有什么能为你们效劳的吗 What can I do for you ladies?
你有我们想要的东西 You have something we want.
乖乖 Oh, dear.
我妈曾经警告过我 My mother warned me
小帅哥进了大城市 就会遇到这种事 this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.
不 我们想要知道点信息 No, we just want information.
这个我绝对能帮上忙 Oh, I've got that in spades.
用问题蹂躏我吧 Ravage me.
我们听说你读了霍华德他爸写的信 We heard you read the letter from Howard's father.
我读了 I did.
信里写了什么 What did it say?
这个 Yeah...
我可不能告诉你们 I can't tell you that.
我得遵守衣橱主人和整理者之间的保密协议 I'm bound by closet organizer/ organizee confidentiality.
谢尔顿 世上才没有那种规定呢 Sheldon, that's not a real thing.
那世上也没有规定说看电影时 Well, neither is the rule that you have to
必须紧握你女友的手呀 hold your girlfriend's hand at the movies. You know.
你还不是照样对我上下其手 That doesn't stop you from pawing at me
就像你是大狗熊 我是蜜罐子一样 like you're a bear and I'm a trash can full of sweets.
你管什么多干嘛 Why do you even care?
把信的内容告诉我们就是了 Just tell us what it says.
那封信的内容的所有权 Control over the information contained in that letter
是属于霍华德的 belongs to Howard.
我是偶尔不小心读到的 By happenstance, I came to know it.
这并不代表我可以到处散布它 That doesn't give me the right to disseminate it freely.
拜托 那封信是在伯纳黛特的衣橱找到的 Come on. Look, the letter was found in Bernadette's closet.
这好歹也意味点什么吧 Doesn't that count for something?
你是想说加州政府是 Are you pointing out that California
认同联合财产的 is a community property state,
既然霍华德和伯纳黛特已经结婚了 and since Howard and Bernadette are married,
那么那封信所含有的知识产权 the intellectual property contained in that letter
理应由夫妇俩人共享吗 is jointly owned by the two spouses?
对 就是这个意思 Yeah, obviously.
你厉害 Well played.
有时候我真是小看你了 佩妮 Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny.
老兄 你来找我商量开派对的事 Dude, you made the right choice
真是找对人了 coming to me for help with this party.
其实 我只是邀请了你而已 Actually, all I did was invite you.
好了 你就放宽心吧 Well, put your mind at ease.
有我相助 霍华德的晚宴 I'm here to make sure your dinner party
一定会被你的晚宴打得落花流水 kicks Howard's dinner party's ass.
现在我们首先需要确定一个主题 Now, the first thing we need is a theme.
我在想 I'm thinking...
19到20世纪之交时期的红磨坊 ah, turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge.
我觉得你需要贴睾酮贴片增加雄性激素了 I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch.
我和佩妮是想以低调为主 Penny and I just want to do something low-key.
就像鸡尾酒 You know, cocktails,
轻柔的爵士乐 开胃小吃 light jazz music, hors d'oeuvres.
所以你的主题是 So your theme is
"我看了一集《广告狂人》的重播 "I saw a rerun of Mad Men
然后从连锁超市买来蟹肉酥" and bought some crab puffs from Trader Joe's"?
我可不想错过 Hate to miss that.
你去哪里了 Hey, where have you been?
莱纳德 Oh, Leonard.
如果我要讥讽你的话 If I was prone to sarcasm,
我会说我刚在洗衣篮博物馆里 I'd say I was pulling off a major heist
干了一票大劫案 at the museum of laundry baskets.
一 二 三 四 五 One, two, three, four, five,
六 七 八 九 十[愤怒控制] six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
我是说 "天啊 谢尔顿 I meant, "Golly, Sheldon,
你刚去了有够久的" you've been gone a long time."
因为我被佩妮和伯纳黛特 Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by
还有艾米拦住问话了 Penny, Bernadette and Amy.
她们让我泄露霍华德父亲的 They made me reveal confidential information
机密信息 about Howard's father.
什么信息 What information?
我不能告诉你们 I can't tell you that.
我必须遵守 I am bound by closet
衣橱主人和整理者之间的保密协议 organizer/ organizee confidentiality.
拜托啦 我们不会告诉任何人的 Well, come on, we won't tell anyone.
抱歉 纠缠我也没用 Sorry, badgering me won't work.
你应该这么说 What you should have said is,
"没必要保守这个秘密 "It's pointless to keep this a secret
因为佩妮会告诉我们的" because Penny will tell us."
-那我问佩妮 -好吧 我告诉你们 - Fine, then that. - All right, I'll tell you.
天啊 今天每个人都很会找理由嘛 My goodness, everyone's on their game today.
这真的很好玩 This is really fun.
是啊 偶尔穿正装也不错 Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up once in a while.
对啊 开胃小吃令人愉悦 Yeah, and hors d'oeuvres are delightful.
就像我的女伴 As is the company.
我的衣服痒死了 真希望死了算了 My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.
大家 听着 Hey, uh, listen, everybody.
在霍华德来之前 我们统一口径 Before Howard gets here, let's all just agree
不要提起他父亲的信 to not bring up the letter from his father.
-好 -知道 - Of course. - Sure.
当然不会 Absolutely.
如果我也同意 If I say yes,
能不能关掉那拉丁的放荡音乐 can we turn off that Latin orgy music?
我们还得走这么多层楼梯 Ridiculous that we still have to walk
真是太荒谬了 up all these flights of stairs.
对啊 尤其是穿着高跟鞋 Yeah, try doing it in heels.
我就穿着呢 I am.
慢着 Wait.
我有话要对你说 There's something I have to tell you.
什么 What?
我知道那封信的内容了 I know what was in your dad's letter.
谢尔顿 我发誓我一定要杀了你 Sheldon, I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you!
是我逼他告诉我们的 I made him tell us.
"我们" What? "Us"?
谁还知道 Who else knows?
-我 -我也是 - I know. - Me, too.
还有我 Same here.
真为你们感到羞耻 Shame on all of you.
你不也知道了吗 You know, too.
非得全军覆没 就不能给他留一个朋友吗 Couldn't leave him with one friend, could you?
所以除了我 So everybody knows
大家都知道那封信的内容 what's in that letter except for me?
对 现在是六对一 Yes, it's six against one.
别轻举妄动 先生 Stand down, sir.
你怎么能这样呢 How could you do this?
对不起 I'm sorry.
如果你想知道 我们可以告诉你 If you want, we could tell you.
不 我不想知道 No, I don't want to know!
我是说 I mean,
我是想知道 但... I do, but...
我要走了 I got to go.
用我来当人肉盾牌 Used me as a human shield?
人家慌了嘛 I panicked.
他比平时看起来高大 He looked taller than usual.
-霍华德 -这里 - Howard? - In here.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我不应该多事的 I should have left it alone.
没关系 It's okay.
抱歉我就这么走了 Sorry I ran off like that.
你在看什么 What are you looking at?
我小时候跟爸爸的合照 Uh, pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid.
-那很好啊 -不得不说 - That's nice. - I got to tell you,
虽然谢尔顿泄密让我很生气 as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing,
但他的确把这个衣橱整理得很好 he did a hell of a job organizing this closet.
瞧瞧这个 Look at this.
"父亲永别前 沃罗威茨一家照片" "Photos of Wolowitz family before father left forever."
瞧九岁时满头小辫子的华仔 Check out nine-year-old Howie with cornrows.
无论黑人犹太人 看了都会不爽 Neither race was happy to see me with those.
-你想不想休息一下 -为什么 - Think you could take a break? - Why?
我有个惊喜要给你 Got a little surprise for you.
来吧 Come on.
亲爱的 Oh, honey...
我今晚没心情做爱 I am in no mood to have sex tonight.
如果你一定要做 I'll lay there if you absolutely
那我就勉强躺在下面好了 have to have it, but...
你们来这里干嘛 What are you guys doing here?
你走时并没有很明确表明 When you left, you weren't sure whether or not
自己是否想知道信上的内容 you wanted to know what was in your dad's letter,
所以我们想出了一个很酷的解决办法 so we came up with kind of a cool solution.
是吗 是什么 Oh, yeah, what's that?
很简单 It's simple, really.
我突然意识到 知道和不知道 It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing
可以通过创造量子力学叠加状态的 can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example
宏观例子来完成 of quantum superposition.
原理是 The-the principle
物理系统部分存在于 that a physical system exists partially
所有可能状态 in all its possible states at once.
我们都是这样想的 真的 We were all thinking it, really.
这就像房里的大象一样[显而易见] It was kind of the elephant in the room, so...
总之 我意识到 Anyway, um, I realize
如果我们每人对你父亲信件的内容 if we each present you with an account
作出一番陈述 of what your father wrote to you,
但只有一个是真的 only one of which is true,
我们不告诉你哪个是真的 and then we don't tell you which one it is,
你会永远 you will forever be
处于认知的矛盾状态中 in a state of epistemic ambivalence.
对 Yeah.
我说如果不是认知的 And I said if it wasn't epistemic,
咱们就干脆别忙活了 we might as well not do it.
坐下 亲爱的 Sit down, honey.
拉杰 你先来 Raj, you're up.
好的 Okay, um...
那是一张庆祝你18岁的生日卡 It was a card for your 18th birthday.
上面写着 Inside it said,
"生日快乐 霍华德 "Happy birthday, Howard.
我爱你 老爸" I love you. Dad."
而且还是一张搞笑贺卡 Oh, and it was a Far Side card,
一只青蛙的舌头粘在了 the one where the frog has its tongue
飞机的下面 stuck to the underside of an airplane.
它以为飞机是苍蝇 Thinks it's a fly.
白痴青蛙 太搞笑了 Silly frog. So funny.
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
那是一张藏宝图 可以找到著名海盗 It was a map leading to the lost treasure
独眼韦利传说中的宝藏 of famous pirate One-Eyed Willy.
亏你想的到 Nice try.
这是《七宝奇谋》的情节 That's the plot for Goonies.
-早说了 -闭嘴 -Told you. - Don't.
艾米 Amy.
你并不知道 You didn't know it,
但你高中毕业时 but your father was in the auditorium
你父亲在观众席上 at your high school graduation.
他哭了 因为他为你骄傲 And he cried because he was so proud of you.
真的吗 Really?
也有可能完全是艾米瞎编的废话 Or that's complete poppycock which Amy made up.
藏宝图才是真的 It still could be the map.
佩妮 Penny.
那封信是解释 It was a letter explaining
你父亲的真实身份 that your dad wasn't who he said he was.
当时他另一个身份的麻烦找上了他 Eventually, his other life caught up to him,
唯一保护你们母子安全的办法 and the only way to keep you and your mom safe
就是他离开 was to leave.
我想改变我的故事 I would like to change mine.
海盗的名字其实叫假腿安托万 The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine.
现在和《七宝奇谋》就完全不同了 Now it's completely different from Goonies.
-没什么区别 -闭嘴 -No, it's not. - Don't.
到我了 Okay, my turn.
你爸写的是 家庭是世界上最重要的 Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing,
希望你不要像他那样不懂珍惜 and that you should never throw it away like he did.
伯纳黛特 Bernadette.
信封里有张照片 Inside the envelope was a picture
拍的是你出生时你爸抱着你 of your dad holding you the day you were born.
照片背后他写着 On the back he wrote,
"霍华德 儿子 你是我最好的礼物" "Howard, my son, my greatest gift."
你还好吗 You okay?
没事 Yeah.
好得不得了 I'm terrific.
那么 So...?
你觉得哪一个是真的 Which one do you think it is...
好兄弟[海盗用语] matey?
事实上 我不想知道 Actually, I don't want to know.
我 I...
希望这些全是真的 want all of them to be true.
有一个是真的 Well, one of them is.
那非常好 That's pretty cool.
谢谢各位 Thank you, guys.
时间还早 Hey, it's still early.
不如回去继续开派对吧 Why don't we go back and have that party?
好的 Yeah, cool.
出人意料的是 You know, surprisingly,
你父亲的信 uh, the letter from your father
并不是我在衣橱里 wasn't the most interesting thing
看到的最有意思的东西 I read in the closet.
伯纳黛特日记的内容相当有料啊 Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages.
谢尔顿 你敢 Sheldon, don't you dare!
不用担心 Th-There's nothing to worry about.
我不会泄露你的秘密 Your secret's safe with me.
这还差不多 That's more like it.
不过版权法允许我在回忆时 Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets
引用其中的片段 in the context of a review.
我很开心你心情好些了 Glad you're feeling better.
我也是 Me, too.
如果我知道我们要跳舞 If I'd known we were gonna be dancing,
就穿平底鞋来了 would have worn my flats.
派对真不错啊 This turned out pretty well, huh?
我也这样想 Yeah, I think so.
我同意 I agree.
前提是从未参加或听说过派对 That is, if you've never been to or heard of a party before.
如果你让我在你脑袋上正确的位置 If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle
用根滚烫的针刺一下 你就会永远开心了 in the right place, you'd be happy all the time.
佩妮 Uh, Penny,
关于你的衣橱 我有几个问题 I-I have a couple of questions about your closet.
你保留这只死鱼 Is there any reason
是有原因的吗 you're keeping this dead goldfish?
见鬼 我忘记喂食了 Damn, I forgot to feed him.
也忘记我养了鱼 And that I had him.
你还养了狗吗 Well, now, did you also have a dog?
我找到了一个 Because I found what appears to be
电池驱动的咬咬玩具[震动棒] a battery-operated chew toy.
派对结束 派对结束 Party's over! Party's over!