不是吧 Oh, dear.
佩妮 你是不是又用我们的 Penny, have you been recording shows
-硬盘录像机录节目 -没有啊 - on our DVR again? - No.
说实话就行了 这又不是在审问你 Answer honestly. This is not a trial.
之后才会审问 That'll come later.
我绝对没有 Absolutely not.
快帮帮我 我不能再被他记过了 Help me out here. I can't afford another demerit.
行 Yeah.
我们可能是被黑客攻击了呢 Uh... maybe we were hacked.
中国那边最近不是在到处网络攻击吗 You know, the Chinese have been hacking everything lately.
他们为啥要黑我们的录像机来录《百货战警》 Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
我也不知道 I don't know.
看胖子骑电动代步车 哪国人都会觉得好笑 It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.
我要把它删了 I'm deleting it.
先别删啊 Well, hang on.
那中国黑客可能还没看完呢 Maybe the Chinese haven't finished watching it yet.
如果录像机空间不够 要删东西 You know, if you're trying to make space on the DVR,
你怎么不把那些 why don't you just get rid of
你看过的影片给删了啊 some of the stuff you've already watched?
比如《阿尔法战士》 Like, um... Alphas.
不行 这是它的第二季季末集呢 No, that's the season two finale.
最后留了个大悬念 That was quite the cliffhanger.
第三季开始前我要再温习一遍剧情 I'm going to re-watch it before season three starts.
不会有第三季 这剧被砍了 There is no season three. They canceled that show.
他们不能砍这个剧 Well, they can't cancel it.
季末留了大悬念呢 It ended on a cliffhanger.
-他们就是砍了 -谢尔顿 - They did. - Uh, Sheldon,
还剩两个水饺 你要吃吗 there are two dumplings left. Do you want them?
还水饺 Dumplings?
你没懂现在情况多严重吗 Don't you understand what's going on here?
想也知道 没懂 As a rule, no.
这剧季末剧情演到 全纽约居民 That show ended with all the residents of New York
全死或是全昏迷了 either dead or unconscious.
现在我没机会知道后续发展了 Now I'll never know what happened.
你怎么不自己编个后续出来呢 Well, why don't you make up your own ending?
行啊 这主意太棒了 Oh, sure, what a wonderful idea.
我编完之后 And after that,
干脆再自编个口腔卫生规矩好了 I'll make up my own rules of oral hygiene.
例如以后再也不剔牙 而是把布丁涂牙龈上 You know, instead of flossing, I'll rub pudding on my gums.
我要找出科幻台的电话 I'm going to get the number of the SyFy Channel
给他们点教训 and give them what for.
求你了 别这样 Oh, please, don't do that.
一定要 他们怎么能砍了这样的剧呢 No. They can't just cancel a show like Alphas.
他们应该帮助观众放手才对啊 You know? They have to help the viewers let go.
《萤火虫》出了电影版来收尾 Firefly did a movie to wrap things up.
《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》以漫画继续延伸了下去 Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book.
《英雄》的剧情一季比一季烂 Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season
到结尾时 观众还感到庆幸呢 till we were grateful it ended.
我替要接到他电话的人感到难过 I feel bad for whoever gets that phone call.
不需要 Ah, don't.
要是不想接到疯狂宅男粉的斥责电话 If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds,
那他们当初就不应该开这个科幻台 they shouldn't have started a Sci-Fi channel.
生活大爆炸 第六季 第二十一集
你之后一定会对这个摄像头 I think you're gonna be really happy
感到十分满意 with this security camera.
镜头很棒 The optics are great,
还有内置红外线技术 it's got infrared technology,
而且还附带备用电池 停电时也能运作 and there's even a backup battery when the power goes out.
都行啦 Whatever.
反正我能在上班时 I can see my little princess
看到我的小公主 对吧 while I'm at work, right?
你不能像个正常男人那样上班偷看黄片吗 Why can't you just watch porn like a regular guy?
把你的电脑给我 我得调试下软件 I need your laptop so I can configure the software.
等等 Wait, hold on.
奇了怪了 This is weird.
怎么了 What?
我刚在网上搜我对象的资料 I was Googling that girl I've been dating,
然后找到了她的博客 and I found her blog.
厉害 Cool.
有"有料"的内容吗 Anything juicy?
她说最近在跟一个叫罗杰的人约会 She said she recently went on a date with a guy named Roger?
他还是印度人 And he's Indian?
而且他也是个天体物理学家 And he's an astrophysicist, too?
你知道这是怎么回事吧 You know what's going on, don't you?
没错 我妈说得太对了 Yes. Mummy was right.
美国的女人全都是淫荡饥渴骚货 American girls are sexually voracious devils.
没想到我居然得跟你解释这事 I can't believe I have to explain this.
很多人都会在博客上用假名来保持隐私 People change names on blogs to protect their privacy.
罗杰就是拉杰 Roger is Raj.
我一直以为 如果我要有个白人名 I always thought, if I had a white name,
那我会叫盖伦 it would be Gavin.
继续读啊 看她都说了啥 Keep reading. What does it say?
不行不行 这不太好吧 No, no, I don't know if I should.
如果她想我知道她有博客 早就告诉我了 If she wanted me to know about her blog, she would've told me.
这就跟偷看她日记一样 It's almost like I'm reading her diary.
这就是偷看她日记啊 继续读 That's exactly what it's like. Keep reading.
不行 这太没节操了 No, this is creepy.
从我帮你安装好摄像头的那一刻起 Oh, I think we were looking at creepy in the rearview mirror
节操就已成路人了 when I put up that camera.
我们正常得很 别听他瞎说 It's not creepy. Don't listen to him.
瞧呀 哪个小姑娘的亲亲这么香啊 Oh, look who's got the sweetest kisses.
要让你们独处吗 Should I go?
在听完谢尔顿说了这么多电视剧后 With all the TV Sheldon was talking about,
我有了一个绝妙的好主意 I had the greatest idea ever.
比我要开名为 It even blows away my idea
"楚巴咖啡厅"星战主题咖啡厅的主意还棒 for a Star Wars themed coffee shop called "Brewbacca's."
楚巴卡是星球大战里的知名角色
那就是让你看《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》 You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
这剧超适合我们情侣一同观赏 It is the perfect show for the two of us.
集火爆动作与搞笑一体 It's got action and jokes
有性感吸血鬼加浪漫爱情 怎么夸都不过分 and hot vampires and romance. I cannot oversell this!
你怎么说 What do you say?
现在是清晨六点半 It's 6:30 in the morning.
你不是在农场长大的吗 I thought you grew up on a farm.
你好 科幻台吗 Hello, SyFy Network?
我是你们的节目安排副总裁 Yeah, this is your vice president of programming.
对于《阿尔法战士》 我们做了重大错误决定 Now, we have made a horrible mistake regarding Alphas.
我们要立刻反取消节目 Yeah, we need to uncancel it immediately.
总之谁负责这个 你就把电话转给谁 Well, you just put me through to the people who handle that,
告诉他们我是谁 you tell them it's me,
我不想回答一大堆关于 and I don't want to answer a lot of questions
我是不是真是我自己所说的这个人的问题 about if I really am who I say I am, you know?
我就是要把这事儿解决了 I just... I want this done.
不 我不是刚才打来电话的人 No, I am not the person who just called.
那个人很显然是个牛仔 That man was clearly a cowboy.
对 他只是单纯地关心 Yeah, who was plumb concerned
你们取消了他最喜爱的电视剧 about y'all canceling his favorite show.
他们为什么总是挂我电话 Why do they keep hanging up on me?
很遗憾你这么难过 I'm sorry you're upset.
知道吗 谢尔顿 在这种时刻 You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort
有些人会寻求身体接触带来的安慰 of physical contact in moments like this.
我才不会飞回德州 I am not flying back to Texas
就为了让我妈抱一下 just so my mom can give me a hug.
好吧 Okay.
我觉得你现在的情况是 Well, what I think is going on here
对于"结局" 你有种病态的需求 is you have a pathological need for closure.
真是胡说 Oh, that's nonsense.
你总是告诉我你的日常生活琐碎事 I mean, you tell me stories about your day all the time.
我根本不关心结局是什么 I don't care how they end.
也许我能帮你 You know, I might be able to help you with this.
在行为神经学方面有一个领域 There's a whole field of behavioral neuroscience
研究如何重新训练神经通路 that examines ways to retrain your neural pathways
然后这样的事情便不会如此困扰你了 so stuff like this bothers you less.
但我刚刚对你说了 Yeah, but I just told you,
我才没纠结要有结局的问题 I don't have a problem with closure.
你确定吗 You sure about that?
相当确定 Oh, quite sure.
这不能证明什么 That proves nothing.
可以去吃午饭了吗 Ready to go to lunch?
你觉得我这人很女性化吗 Do you think I'm feminine?
是的 我们走 Yeah. Let's go.
多谢你了 Thanks a lot.
怎么了 What's going on?
我没忍住 我看了露西的博客 I broke down, and I read Lucy's blog.
其中有一段 And in one of the entries,
她说 我们初次见面时 she said, when we first met,
她觉得我这人有一点点女性气质 I struck her as a little feminine.
才觉得一点点而已 很好啊 Just a little? That's great.
我得跟她谈谈这个 I have to talk to her about this.
老天 为什么你们女生总要谈这谈那 Oh, geez, why do you girls always want to talk about things?
听我说 Listen to me,
如果她写了你们感情方面的内容 if she's writing about your relationship,
你就好好利用啊 use it to your advantage.
操纵游戏 Rig the game.
这似乎不公平吧 Well, that doesn't seem fair.
难道女生喜欢自信正常的男生多过 Is it fair that girls like confident, normal guys
紧张古怪男 这样就公平吗 more than nervous weirdos?
这不公平 No, it's not.
我一直觉得这不公平 I've always thought that was unfair.
那就利用博客里的内容 让她宽衣解裤带 So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
为什么话从你的嘴里出来 就这样下流 Why do you have to make everything so filthy?
你为什么不能说博客就像是 Why couldn't you just say the blog is like
她给了我一把打开她心门的钥匙 her giving me the key to her heart?
"打开她心门的钥匙" "The key to her heart."
真不错 That's nice.
这话是你引用别人的 Were you quoting someone
还是你腰上的娘们纹身 or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
我在引用对女人略知一二的男人的话 I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women:
艾尔顿·约翰爵士[著名同性恋歌手] Sir Elton John.
你喜欢吗 So, did you love it?
你当然喜欢了 你怎么会不喜欢呢 Of course you loved it. How could you not love it?
告诉我你有多喜欢 Tell me how much you loved it.
很可爱 It was cute.
别说可爱啊 Oh, don't say cute.
这个词最差劲了 That's the worst.
可爱怎么不对了 What's wrong with cute?
这样一形容就觉得东西小小的 It just makes things seem small.
有种渺小的感觉 It diminishes them.
你这是要我不再说你的小屁屁可爱吗 So you want me to stop calling your little tushy cute?
你可以不说啊 不过没人会相信你 You can try, but nobody's gonna believe you.
我只是不理解 为什么看这么优秀的电视剧 I just... I don't understand how you can watch a show that great
你却一点也不激动 and not be excited by it.
我喜欢 我很激动 I liked it. I'm excited.
那你的表情就配合一下啊 Well, then, tell your face.
你想让我怎么样 What do you want from me?
这样吧 You know what?
算了 我们尝试过了 Never mind. We gave it a shot.
看看有什么其它节目吧 Let's just see what else is on.
拜托 别这样嘛 Oh, come on, don't be like that.
抱歉我说了可爱 I'm sorry I called it cute.
-我们再看一集 -真的吗 - Let's watch another one. - Really?
对 挺有意思的 Yeah, it was fun.
让我想起了高中时代 Kind of reminded me of my high school.
但我们没有吸血鬼 只有嗑药鬼 But instead of vampires, we had meth heads.
但两者都是夜晚冒出来 而且都是一口烂牙 But both came out at night and had messed up teeth.
好吧 All right, cool.
我觉得你会更喜欢下一集 I-I think you'll like the next one better.
讲的是啦啦队员们遭受邪恶诅咒之苦 All the cheerleaders are suffering from an evil curse.
这点也很像高中 Oh. Well, that's like my high school, too.
不过不是诅咒 是阴虱之苦 But instead of a curse, it was crabs.
我准备了一系列练习 I've come up with a series of exercises
帮你克服对收尾的强迫需求 to help with your compulsive need for closure.
我不喜欢"强迫"这个词 I take issue with the word "compulsive."
我的意思是 All I'm saying is,
我们生活的这个世界里 结局并不是一定... we live in a world where closure isn't always an op...
会有的 好吧 ...Tion. Okay.
为了论证这点 就先假设我是有问题 For the sake of argument, let's say I have a problem.
那你要如何证明我有问题呢 What would be your plan for addressing it?
我要重建你的大脑思路 I'm going to recondition your brain
让这种对结局的需求得以抑制 so that the need for completion isn't so overwhelming.
靠玩井字游戏吗 By playing tic-tac-toe?
对 该你了 Yep. Your turn.
艾米 Oh, Amy.
你现在知道为什么人们认为神经学 And you wonder why people think neuroscience
不过是小儿科的愚蠢游戏了吧 is nothing but a goofy game for diaper babies.
井字游戏肯定会有赢 输 或平手的结局 Tic-tac-toe can only end in win, lose or draw...
完全没办法阻止我得到结局的乐趣 none of which will deny me closure.
特别是我即将胜出的情况下 Especially since I'm about to win.
我们还没玩完呢 B-But we didn't finish.
正是 Exactly.
你对此有何感觉 How does that make you feel?
跟任何正常人一样啊 The same way any normal person would.
我想扯掉自己的脸 Feel like I want to peel off my own face
撕成两半 然后不停地撕 and tear it in two and then again and again
直到我的脸碎成渣 until I have a handful of Sheldon-face confetti.
今日的治疗针对的 And that's exactly the feeling we want to address
正是这种感觉 with this course of treatment.
或者你可以帮个忙 抓我的鼻孔 Yeah, or you could pitch in, grab a nostril
帮我把这玩意撕下来 and help me get this face off.
加油啊 你行的 Come on, you can do this.
你不能理解这种闹心的感觉是何滋味 You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated.
心中逐渐建立起了强烈的欲望 To have a-a desire build up within you
最后却只能憋着 无处释放 and be denied any opportunity for release.
听起来是很惨啊 Yeah, sounds like a drag.
帮我分析分析 Okay, help me out here.
他为什么这么喜欢这个剧 Why does he love this show so much?
片中有动作场面 也很搞笑 Well, there was action, it was funny.
你明白通常都是怪物追美女 I mean, you do get that usually the monster chases the pretty girl,
而这里是美女追怪物吧 but this time the pretty girl chases the monsters?
耶嘿 反过来啦 我明白 Yippee, it's backwards. I get it.
你为什么这么困扰这事啊 Why does this bother you so much?
不知道 I don't know.
他总是为这么多东西感到兴奋 It's just, he's so passionate about so many different things.
我就做不到那样 I just don't get that way.
你行吗 Do you?
可以啊 我对科学就很热爱 Well, sure. I'm pretty passionate about science.
我还记得第一次看显微镜下 I remember the first time I looked through a microscope
那无数微生物时的场景 and saw millions of tiny microorganisms.
简直就像另一个宇宙 It was like a whole other universe.
只要姐愿意 就可以像神一样用大拇指按死它们 If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god.
瞧 我也想找点这种热情 See? I wish I had some of that fire in my life.
我也想有特别在乎的东西 I mean, I want to care about things
像你们一样为之兴奋 and get excited like you guys.
你完全可以啊 Well, there's no reason you can't.
你这么认为吗 You think?
当然了 我们需要做的 Absolutely. All we need to do is spend
只是花点时间 找到你所热爱的东西 a little time and find something you're passionate about.
听起来好累啊 That sounds like a lot of work.
怎么啦 Hey, what's up?
露西要来 我需要点建议 Uh, Lucy's coming over. I need some advice.
不管你认为前奏该有多长 加成三倍 However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
你就说说哪件会更有男子气概吧 Just tell me which one you think is more manly.
曲棍球运动衫还是 This hockey jersey or...
橄榄球运动衫 this football jersey.
我也不知道 穿曲棍球的吧 I don't know. Go with hockey.
很好 黑色显瘦 Good-- black is more slimming.
她来了 Oh, that's her.
我要去当壮汉了 拜拜 I got to go be butch. Toodles.
请进 Come in.
瞧瞧你这可爱的小狗狗 Oh, look how cute your little doggy is.
别离它太近 Yeah, well, I wouldn't get too close.
如果我用德语给她下个命令 If I give the right command in German,
她就会把你的脸撕下来 she'll rip your face off.
* 在这自由国家 * * O'er the land of the free *
美国国歌
* 勇士的... * * And the home of the... *
完整歌词是"勇士的家乡"
下一个 Next.
这设计可真不错 对吗 That's quite an impressive layout, isn't it?
是的 Yes.
收起来吧 Let's box it up.
收起来吧 "Let's box it up."
够了 That's enough.
谢尔顿 谢尔顿 给我 Sheldon, Sheldon, give it!
好了 谢尔顿 许个愿然后吹蜡烛吧 Okay, Sheldon, make a wish and blow out the candles.
惨了 漏了一支 Oops, missed one.
现在你的愿望不能实现了 Now your wish can't come true.
你真幸运 我许的愿是你死了 Lucky for you, 'cause I wished you were dead.
我喜欢你的运动衫 I like your jersey.
谢谢夸奖 我喜欢曲棍球 Thanks. I love hockey.
真不错 我爸爸也喜欢 Oh, cool. So does my dad.
我从小就和他一起看比赛 We watched it all the time growing up.
你最喜欢的球员是谁 Who's your favorite player?
不是布莱恩·博伊塔诺就是了[美国花样滑冰冠军] Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure.
你的玉米饼好吃吗 How's your burrito?
这饼中间还有点没化冻呢 It's still a little frozen in the middle.
那是因为我没有读说明书的缘故 Probably because I didn't read the instructions.
我从来不看包装纸上的说明[饶舌歌手] No wrapper's going to tell me what to do.
除非上面写的是杰斯的饶舌 Unless his name is Jay-Z.
你有什么事吗 Is something going on?
此话怎讲 What do you mean?
你表现一直怪怪的 Well, you're acting all weird.
我自己本身就够怪的了 And I'm pretty weird,
连我觉得怪 那可是真的怪 so I think I know what I'm talking about.
我也不知道 或许是因为我最近吃的类固醇吧 I don't know. Maybe it's all those steroids I've been taking.
我看我还是走吧 I think I'm gonna go.
谢谢你的玉米饼 煎猪皮 Thank you for the burrito and the pork rinds
还有足足20分钟的 and the 20-minute lecture
关于为什么怪物卡车比普通卡车强的讲座 on why monster trucks are better than regular trucks.
等等 等一下 Wait, wait.
我看到你写的关于我的博客了 I-I found your blog where you wrote about me.
我那是写给我自己看的 Oh. I kind of just write that for myself.
我没想过会有人真来读 I didn't think anybody actually read it.
那倒是 你藏的还挺隐秘的 No kidding. You didn't make it easy to find.
我上网找了好久才找到呢 I spent hours digging around online.
顺带一提 你的信用记录挺好的 For the record, you have excellent credit scores.
还有你那个得糖尿病的阿姨 And your diabetic aunt seems
看起来也挺适应她那条新腿的 to be adjusting to her new leg just fine.
你今天怎么表现得这么奇怪呢 Why were you acting so strange tonight?
你说我这人太女性化了 You called me feminine.
所以我 And I...
我想在你面前表现得阳刚一点 I wanted you to think I was more manly.
拉杰 我说的女性化并不是坏事 Raj, I didn't say "feminine" was a bad thing.
我是指你又贴心又善解人意 I meant that you're sweet and thoughtful
还有你的皮肤就像焦糖 and your skin looks so much like caramel,
让我想用苹果沾着吃 I just want to dip an apple in your face.
我的确有一套超棒的 I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall
在保湿秘方 moisturizing regimen.
所以 你没事吧 So, are you okay?
没事 Yeah.
那就好 Good.
那你真的喜欢冰球吗 Do you even like hockey?
当然不 No.
这套衣服是我去斯台普斯球馆 Bought this at the Staples Center
看泰勒·斯威夫特演唱会时买的 when I went to see Taylor Swift.
我思考了一下你总是为 So, I was thinking how excited you get
吸血鬼猎人巴菲呀 科学呀 about stuff like Buffy or science
或你和谢尔顿为了买哪个遥控器而激动吵架 or which TV remote you and Sheldon should buy.
"和谐一号"已经很不错了 The "Harmony One" was fine.
根本没必要升级到1100型 We didn't need to upgrade to the 1100,
他知道我手太小拿不了那个型号的 which he knows is too big for my hand.
你看 你这种激情就是我所没有的 See, that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had.
但我后来意识到 我对你本人就有激情 But then I realized I'm passionate about you.
是我的可爱小翘臀起了作用吧 Oh... my cute little tushy strikes again.
不 我是说真的 No, I'm serious.
我一直觉得 Look, I've always had these plans.
我会变成电影明星 过着五光十色的生活 I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life,
而和这些无关的东西 and anything less than that
都不值得我激动 just wasn't worth getting excited about.
你说的那些还是有可能发生的 Those things can still happen.
这一切当然是会发生的 Oh, obviously it's gonna happen.
有个单身派对上的算命师已经帮我算过了 Yeah, a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so.
但我想说的是 Anyway, what I meant was...
我不该再观望下去了 懂吗 I shouldn't wait, you know?
我有你 我有谢尔顿 I've got you, I've got Sheldon,
这么多超级棒的朋友 all these wonderful friends.
我的生活已经足够精彩了 My life is exciting right now.
这的确很重要 That's a big deal.
的确如此 对不对 It is, isn't it?
这是不是就意味着我们可以开始 So, does that mean we get to do stuff
一起讨论那些好看的电视 或者穿着 like talk about cool shows or get dressed up
情侣变装制服一起去参加漫画大会了 in matching costumes and go to Comic-Con?
莱诺德 我只是顿悟 不是突然中风好吗 Leonard, I had an epiphany, not a stroke.
艾米 我得说 一开始我是抱着怀疑的态度 Amy, I must say, I was skeptical at first,
但今晚的确是充满改革性的一夜呀 but this has truly been a transformative evening.
你能有如此正面的态度 我还真有点小惊讶 I'm a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive.
你是个出色的神经学家 Well, you're an excellent neuroscientist,
也是个很棒的女朋友 还是 you're a wonderful girlfriend, and...
还是 And?
这不重要 对吧 Doesn't matter, does it?
我真为你自豪 谢尔顿 I'm proud of you, Sheldon.
还是个彻头彻尾的笨蛋 And a complete sucker.
我赢了 Oh, yeah.
出来了 There he is.
* 也是勇气的家乡 * * And the home of the brave... *
别停下 继续继续 Don't stop. Yes, keep going.
就是这样 马上就成功了 就要到头了 Just like that. Almost there, almost there.
谢尔顿 你个怪胎 Sheldon, you big weirdo,
我要你知道 我喜欢有你在我身边 I want you to know that I love that you're in my life.
我也喜欢你 I love you, too.
请问 你是阿尔法战士季终集的 Hello. Uh, is this the Bruce Miller who wrote
编剧布鲁斯·米勒吗 the season finale of Alphas?
太好了 你已经比前一个 Oh, smashing. Yeah, you already sound nicer
要我自己跟自己做爱的布鲁斯·米勒 than the last Bruce Miller who suggested
听起来友善多了 I have sexual relations with myself.
好了 现在言归正传 Yeah, now, down to business.
你这剧最后埋下了一个悬念 Um, your show ended on a cliffhanger.
你能告诉我你打算怎么解决它吗 Could you please tell me how you planned to resolve it?
我明白了 I see.
这也太烂了吧 Well, that all stinks.
怪不得你这剧被取消了呢 回见 No wonder you got canceled. Bye.