你觉得如何 So what'd you think?
还不错 It was good.
就这样吗 That's it?
"还不错" "Good"?
我看得挺开心啊 I enjoyed it.
你说要让我"体验第一次"的时候 When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity,"
我没有想到你是指 I didn't think you meant showing me
"第一次"看《夺宝奇兵》啊 Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
动作冒险电影 1981年的年度票房冠军
我的错 我用词太不准确了 My apologies. I chose my words poorly.
我应该说 "你将会 I should have said you were about
在我沙发上爽入云霄" to have your world rocked on my couch.
总之 谢谢你陪我看完 Anyway, thank you for watching it.
这是我最爱的电影之一 It's one of my all-time favorites.
这电影娱乐性非常高 It was very entertaining...
可惜情节漏洞百出 despite the glaring story problem.
情节漏洞百出 Story problem?!
你... 艾米 You-- oh, Amy...
你真是好傻好天真啊 What a dewy-eyed moon-calf you are.
《夺宝奇兵》这电影 Raiders of the Lost Ark is the love child
是斯蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格与乔治·卢卡斯 of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas,
这两位当代最有才制片人的心血结晶 two of the most gifted filmmakers of our generation.
我看了足足有36遍 I've watched it 36 times,
除了满是蛇与脸融化的那两幕 except for the snake scene and the face-melting scene,
只有天还亮的时候我才敢看 但... which I can only watch when it's still light out, but...
有本事你说出个情节漏洞我听听 I defy you to find a story problem.
让我的下巴 Here's my jaw...
吓掉吧 drop it.
行啊 All right.
主角印第安纳·琼斯的存在 Indiana Jones plays no role
对电影的结局没有任何影响 in the outcome of the story.
就算把他从故事里删掉 If he weren't in the film,
电影结局也不会有任何差别 it would turn out exactly the same.
我知道你问题在哪了 你没搞清楚 Oh, I see your confusion. You don't understand.
戴帽子拿鞭子那男的才是印第安纳·琼斯 Indiana Jones was the one in the hat with the whip.
我当然知道 No, I do,
就算电影里没他 and if he weren't in the movie,
纳粹还是会找到法柜 the Nazis would have still found the ark,
送上孤岛 打开法柜 然后死光光 taken it to the island, opened it up and all died...
跟有他的版本一样 just like they did.
我替你把下巴合上吧 Let me close that for ya.
生活大爆炸 第七季 第三集
你不都是周三才去逛漫画店的吗 I thought you went to the comic book store on Wednesdays.
但谢尔顿跟艾米今晚是约会之夜 Yeah, but Sheldon and Amy were having date night
他们不需要我来把场面弄尴尬 and they don't need me there to make it awkward.
他们靠彼此就够尴尬了 They have each other for that.
最近课上得怎么样 So, how was school?
很好啊 你看 Oh, good. Check it out.
《扶不起的阿斗》 作者是贝芙莉·霍夫斯塔德 The Disappointing Child by Beverly Hofstadter.
-你居然买我妈的书 -对啊 - You bought my mom's book? - Yeah!
这是我心理学课的推荐读物呢 It's on the recommended reading list for my psychology class.
不是吧 选其他本书啊 Come on. Not that book.
里面详细记录了我从小到大 It-It's got, like, every horrible story
每一段丢人事 from my childhood in it.
太棒了 书里有照片吗 Oh, cool. Are there pictures?
求你了 换一本书吧 Seriously, please find another book.
拜托 能把你写得多糟糕啊 Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be?
里面有章节是写训练我如厕 There-There's chapters about potty training,
写尿床 and bed-wetting and...
以及自慰 masturbation.
基本上 有东西从我体内出来 Basically, if something came out of me,
她都有写下来 she wrote about it!
这样吧 你想看就看 You know what? Do whatever you want,
但看完别来跟我谈论 just don't talk to me about it.
连"喂奶危机"那一段都不能聊吗 Not even the chapter on the breast-feeding crisis?
才不是什么危机咧 It was not a crisis.
也就是我比较喜欢吸左奶 Apparently, I favored the left one,
害她左右不平衡罢了 she got a little lopsided.
天啊 你现在还是挑左边呢 Oh, my God, you still go left!
你觉得我看起来最像哪个明星 Which celebrity would you say I look like the most?
哈莉·贝瑞 Halle Berry.
好莱坞著名黑白混血女演员 外表十分出色
问这干嘛 Why?
我跟斯图尔特要填征友网站的资料 Stuart and I are putting dating profiles online,
这是其中一道题 and it's one of the questions.
不过谢谢夸奖 她的身材骨架棒呆了 And thank you-- I'd kill for that woman's bone structure.
你为什么在读《傲慢与偏见》啊 Why are you reading Pride and Prejudice?
我告诉你为什么 I'll tell you why.
艾米把我对《夺宝奇兵》的爱给毁了 Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me,
所以我现在也要找出 so now I'm trying to find
她钟爱的事物来毁掉它 something beloved to her and ruin that.
她这一生还被毁得不够多吗 Because her life wasn't enough?
等等 Wait...
《夺宝奇兵》怎么可能会有瑕疵呢 how can, how can anyone ruin Raiders?
这可是完美杰作 It's perfect.
除了主角对于故事剧情发展 Yeah, except for the fact that Indiana Jones
没有任何存在的必要 无论电影有他没他 is completely irrelevant to the story. With or without him,
纳粹还是会找到法柜 打开 然后死光 the Nazis find the ark, open it and die.
等等 Hey, wait a minute.
不对啊 纳粹本来挖错了地点 No, the Nazis were digging in the wrong place.
他们之所以能找到法柜 The only reason they got the ark
全因主角先找到它 was because Indy found it first.
纳粹之所以会挖错地方 Actually, they were only digging in the wrong place
全因"拉雅之杆"元件在主角手里 because Indy had the medallion.
该元件是电影中 找到正确藏宝处的关键
没有主角 元件会落在纳粹手中 Without him, they would have had the medallion
他们直接就到正确地点挖宝了 and dug in the right place.
我知道你不想谈书中内容 Okay, I know you don't want to talk about it,
但我真有一个问题想问你 but can I just ask you one question about your mom's book?
不行 No.
我就想知道 I just want to know
为什么五岁男孩会拿妈的化妆品化妆 why a five-year-old boy puts on his mom's makeup
然后用气球当咪咪 and wears balloon boobies.
那些不是咪咪 是胸肌 They weren't boobies, they were muscles.
化妆是画绿妆 And the makeup was green.
我想把自己画成绿巨人浩克 I was pretending to be The Hulk.
但你戴着她胸罩 You were wearing her bra.
那是为了让我的"胸肌"不下垂 That was to keep my muscles from sagging!
我们可以不谈这话题了吗 Can we please stop talking about this?!
好啦 好啦 Okay, okay.
但作为一个心理学的学生 But you know, as a student of psychology
还是作业得到了√+评价的学生 who got a check-plus on her first homework assignment...
有时候 说出童年阴影 I think, sometimes, it's good to
也是挺不错的啊 open up about these things.
好吧 行 Okay, fine.
你想知道为什么我打扮成绿巨人吗 Do you want to know why I dressed like The Hulk?
因为我总是很气我妈 Because I was always mad at my mom
我想要一拳砸烂我家 然后逃走 and I wanted to smash my way out of that house.
你心里为什么这么多怨气呢 Well, why were you so angry?
我也不知道 Gee, I don't know.
或许因为我总是她的实验品 Maybe it's because I was always the subject of her little experiments.
你有看到"寻找复活节彩蛋"那章吗 Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter egg hunt
根本就没有彩蛋 她故意试试我能找多久 with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking?
对了 答案是 The answer, by the way:
复活节的日期大致在公历3月22日至4月25日之间
我找到六月份 June.
亲爱的 真的很对不起 Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
真希望我能做些什么 让你好过一点 I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.
我也希望 但是你不能 I do, too, but there's not.
真的吗 你确定吗 Really? Are you sure about that?
当然 我怎么能质疑√+学生呢 Of course, who am I to argue with a check-plus student?
先警告你啊 这次我挑右胸 Just warning you-- I'm gonna go right.
别小题大做问我为什么 Don't make a big deal out of it.
真的有必要化妆吗 Is makeup really necessary?
一般人们看你的征友信息 Well, when someone looks at your dating profile,
第一眼肯定是先看你的照片啊 the first thing they see is your picture.
我只是想让你看起来不那么无趣 I just want to make sure you look fun
充满生气 而不是像一具刚从河里 and full of life and not like a body
捞出来的尸体那样死气沉沉 they just pulled out of the river.
好了 开始吧 All right, here we go, and...
笑一个 smile.
好吧 刚才那张不算 Okay, uh-uh, that one's in the bank.
不如这样 How about this?
你先把头转过去 然后再转回来 Turn away, and then turn back into it.
当你回头时 But when you do,
把相机想象成你想见到的女生 imagine the camera is the girl you want to meet.
没问题 You got it.
好吧 Okay, uh,
再来一遍 let's try it again.
但这一次 你要把相机当成是你想见到 Uh, but this time, pretend the girl you want to meet
而且不会揍你的女生 doesn't want to hurt you.
这个恐怕有点难度 I don't think I can give you that.
拜托 再试一次 Come on. One more time.
好吧 这张有点模糊 Yeah, it's, it's a little blurry,
不过这应该对你有益无害 but I think that works in your favor.
-想喝啤酒吗 -好啊 - Do you want a beer? - Sure.
你的征友信息写完了吗 Hey, have you finished writing your profile yet?
差不多了 Almost.
"用一个词形容自己" Oh, what did you put
你用的是哪个词 as the one-word description of yourself?
我用了"不讨人厌" I put unobjectionable.
但是当我亲耳听到这个词时 But now that I hear it out loud,
感觉好像有点过于自信了 it just seems like I'm being cocky.
那你优点你写了什么 What did you put for your best feature?
我的父母是土豪 My parents' money.
那你的优点你写什么 Uh, what did you put for your best feature?
我写了"无" I put not applicable.
拜托 伙计 你对自己太严苛了 Come on, dude, you're being too hard on yourself.
你具备很多优秀的条件啊 You've got a lot of good stuff going on.
真的吗 比如说 Really? Like what?
你是一个有天赋的艺术家 Well, okay, you're a, you're a talented artist,
你有自己的事业 you own your own business.
但这两者未曾对我泡妞有过帮助 Neither of those things have ever helped me meet a woman.
好吧 那我们能暗示 Okay, well, can we imply
你"那方面"天赋异禀吗 that you're well-endowed?
我的确是有个特别长的... 睾丸 I do have one oddly long testicle.
现在像个有自信的男人在说话了 Okay, now you're talking like a winner!
你在干什么 Whatcha doin'?
我发现艾米喜欢的《傲慢与偏见》 Oh, it turns out Amy's beloved Pride and Prejudice
是一部毫无瑕疵的杰作 is a flawless masterpiece.
男主角的确很傲慢 He's got too much pride,
女主角的确很多偏见 she's got too much prejudice--
毫无破绽可言 it just works.
所以你为了要毁掉她喜欢的东西 So you're looking to ruin something for her
你都开始看漫画了吗 in the funny pages?
艾米喜欢看《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的连载漫画 Amy has a fondness for the comic strip Marmaduke.
《大丹麦狗马默杜克》是美国家喻户晓的一个动画人物 故事的主角是一只顽皮的巨型犬大丹麦狗
然后呢 And...?
我觉得我找到了 And I think I've got it.
想一下 Consider:
一个家庭里有一只这么大 a family possesses a dog that is so large
而且丝毫不守规矩 and poorly disciplined,
除了惹麻烦就什么都不会的巨型犬 he causes nothing but problems.
他们为什么还要养它呢 Why do they keep him?!
或许是因为他们爱上它的时候 它还只是小狗 Maybe they fell in love with him as a puppy
那家人也没想到它能长这么大 and didn't know how big he was gonna be.
有道理 Of course.
为什么她不喜欢《奇奇》 You know, why couldn't she just like Ziggy?
著名报刊连载漫画
真是的 Yeah?
那部漫画情节漏洞百出 That thing's riddled with plot holes.
真是可惜啊 伙计 Sorry, buddy.
我觉得她也喜欢《加菲猫》 I think she's a fan of Garfield as well.
靠 现在我也是加菲迷了 Oh, darn it, now so am I.
晚点见 I'll see you later.
我得陪佩妮去看一场白痴的球赛 I gotta go watch a stupid football game with Penny.
慢着 先别走 Wait-- hang on.
你跟艾米一起待过 You've spent time with Amy.
你能想到什么她喜欢的东西 Can you think of anything she's fond of
然后还有很多她没有注意到的瑕疵吗 that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?
我真得走了 I gotta go.
-准备好了吗 -好了 - You ready to go? - Yep.
对了 或许这次 Hey, and maybe this time
你别再跟那些男生讨论体育了 you don't try and talk sports with the guys.
什么破体育酒吧 Some sports bar.
他们居然从来没听说过魁地奇球赛 It's like they never even heard of Quidditch.
出自《哈利·波特》 参赛者在飞天扫帚上进行的一种虚构比赛
我们真的得去吗 Do we really have to go?
别这样嘛 每次我们 Oh, come on. Every time we're about
要去跟我的朋友玩 你都不想去 to hang out with my friends, you don't want to.
每次都说"太吵了" It's like, "It's too loud,"
"厕所太脏了" or "the bathroom's too dirty,"
"他们拿鸡翅插我耳朵" or "they put a chicken wing in my ear..." I mean...
你说得对 Well, you're-you're right.
我们走吧 Let's just go.
你到底怎么了 Hey, what's going on with you?
没事 我很好啊 Nothing, I'm fine.
好吧 先别走 All right, hang on.
是不是还是因为你妈妈的书 is this still about your mom's book?
不是 不是所有事情都跟我妈有关 No. Not everything is about my mom.
如果你还在为此而不开心 'Cause if you're still upset about that,
我们可以不用去的 we don't have to go.
不过这次真的是因为我妈 Except this is totally about my mom.
真的很对不起 I'm so sorry.
我真不应该看那本书的 I never should have read that book.
那你想去吃个晚餐 You know what? You want to just get dinner
然后回来这里看比赛吗 and watch the game here?
-这主意不错 -好 - That sounds nice. - Okay.
或者我们也可以买外卖 Or, you know, we could get take-out
然后在这里看蓝光加长附带 and watch the Blu-ray extended version
导演评论音轨版的《霍比特人》电影啊 of The Hobbit movie with commentary track.
因为我被我妈这件事弄得太难过了嘛 On account of how sad I am about my mom.
莱纳德 准备好吃饭了吗 Leonard, you ready for lunch?
稍等 One sec!
抱歉 Hey. Sorry.
-你好啊 佩妮 -好啊 - Hi, Penny. - Hi.
好啦 宝贝 All right, sweetie.
你今天要打起精神来哦 You hang in there today.
我尽量 但可能晚上我又不开心了 I'll try, but I might be sad again tonight.
好 Okay.
上班打炮 Sex at work?!
别这么说 Leave it alone.
-尊重下我女友 -抱歉 - That's my girlfriend. - Sorry.
她刚刚才跟我上班打炮呢 Who just had sex with me at work!
行啊 你怎么做到的 Damn. How'd you swing that?
只要我一谈到小时候我妈对我多坏 Well, whenever I talk about how awful my mom was,
佩妮会愿意做任何事来哄我开心 Penny will do anything to make me feel better.
-真的吗 -是啊 - Seriously? - Look, I mean...
这招是挺贱的 但超级管用 I'm not proud of it, but it does work.
我还成功让她 I-I got her to watch
陪我看了一部六段落的巨蟒剧团纪录片呢 a six-part documentary on Monty Python.
巨蟒剧团 英国的一组超现实幽默表演团体 对喜剧有十分重大的影响
我自己都看闷了 就只是想看她 Even I was bored, I just wanted to see
能不能撑到最后 if she'd make it to the end.
你听起来蛮引以为傲的嘛 You sound kind of proud of it.
我的确挺骄傲的 I am; I'm really proud.
谢尔顿 Hello, Sheldon.
一切都还好吗 Is everything okay?
当然啊 Yes.
为什么 Why?
我们上一次未事先安排就视频聊天 Well, the last time you made an unscheduled video-chat,
是因为你的薯条里有一根卷薯条 there was a curly fry in your regular fries
你当时怀疑有人想对你下迷药 and you thought someone might be trying to slip you a mickey.
4月13日 April 13...
相当黑暗的一晚 a dark night, indeed.
所以今晚又有什么事了呢 So what can I do for you?
我打来是想邀请你 I'm calling to invite you
明天晚上来一场临时约会 to a spontaneous date night tomorrow evening.
真的吗 Really?
是的 Yes.
你对我这么好 You were kind enough
陪我一起看《法柜奇兵》 to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark with me.
我也想还你这份情 So I'd like to return the favor
邀请你来看一集 by inviting you to watch an episode
你小时候最爱的电视剧 of your favorite childhood television series,
《草原小屋》 Little House on the Prairie.
一共10季 第一季首播是1974年
听起来不错 That sounds lovely.
你为什么在搓手啊 Why are you rubbing your hands together?
我是在擦护手霜啊 I'm putting on lotion.
你到底来不来 Are you in or not?
当然来 Of course I'm in.
非常好 Excellent.
那我们明天见 Then I shall see you tomorrow.
晚安 福勒博士 Good night, Dr. Fowler.
晚安 库珀博士 Good night, Dr. Cooper.
今晚[晚安]的确是很棒啊 Good night, indeed.
真是白痴 What a rube.
我这双芊芊玉手 怎么可能需要擦护手霜呢 Why would I put on lotion when I have such soft hands?
你晚餐的时候好安静 You were really quiet during dinner.
你没事吧 Is everything okay?
没事 Yeah.
我只是想起了我妈 I guess I was just thinking about my mom,
以及我悲惨的童年 and how sad my childhood was.
肯定是很惨吧 Yeah, I bet it sucked.
我要去洗澡了 你洗碗吧 I'm gonna take a bath; you do the dishes.
不如我跟你一起共浴 How about I take a bath with you
看看会有什么好事发生 and see what happens.
会发生的就是 Here's what's gonna happen:
我去洗澡 I'm gonna take a bath,
你去洗碗 and you're gonna do the dishes.
就这样吗 That's it?
不同情下我吗 No compassion?
可怜的华仔 Aw, poor Howie.
行了吗 我要去洗澡了 We good? I'm gonna take a bath.
妮妮 Bernie...
天啊 你到底是闹哪样啊 God, what is going on with you?
我是在分享我的悲痛 I'm sharing my pain.
我不信这套 说实话 And I'm not buying it. Try again.
我在学习怎么在文化环境 I'm learning to be a man in a culture
对男人越来越艰难的.... where it's increasingly difficult to know how...?
最后一次机会 Strike two.
我在学莱纳德 I'm copying Leonard.
他对佩妮使这招 When he does this to Penny,
他们就会做爱 然后一起看巨蟒剧团 they have sex and watch Monty Python.
-霍华德 -我知道 - Howard! - I know.
这种做法很贱 It was dumb,
我不应该学他 I shouldn't have done it.
现在我真的觉得难过了 And it's making me feel sad...
好难过 So sad.
你去洗澡吧 我来洗碗 You know, why don't you take a bath? I'll do the dishes.
三 二 一 Three, two, one...
好了 That's it.
我们的个人资料正式在公布在网上了 Our dating profiles are live on the Internet.
注意了 各位女顾客 Attention all shoppers:
爷的"大生意"正式对外"开张"啦 my business is open for business!
没错 女士们 That's right, ladies.
告诉你们 For all you know,
我可以充满自信和幽默十足哦 I'm confident and fun to be around.
酷 这声音告诉你 Oh, cool, it tells you
有人在阅读你的个人资料 when someone's reading your profile.
"珍妮309" "Jenny309."
我希望那个数字不是她的体重 I hope that's not her weight.
你不要的话 那我要了 If it is, I'll... I'll take her.
好兄弟 Good one.
也有人来阅读我的资料 Ooh, I got one, too.
女人正朝咱们涌来 The ladies are coming to us.
天啊 如果我早几年就这样做 Oh, man, if I'd started this years ago,
现在没准都离两三次婚了 I'd be divorced two or three times by now.
什么 又来一个 What...? Another one.
感觉有点怪怪的 You know, it... it's weird.
当她们在阅读你的个人资料时 When they're reading your profile, does it...
你有没有感觉像摊开被人检阅一样 does it make you feel exposed?
仿佛她们看到了咱们的裸体一样 Like they see you naked?
她们没有尖叫着逃开 所以还好 Well, they're not running away screaming, so, no.
我好喜欢《草原小屋》 I love Little House.
我看了后好想住在农场里 It made me want to live on a farm so much
我甚至去给我的猫挤奶 I tried to milk my cat.
结果猫奶泡麦圈臭死了 That tangy bowl of Cheerios
亏我还被猫抓到要去缝针 was not worth the stitches.
你乖乖坐好 放轻松 Well, you sit back, relax
重温下心爱的童年美好回忆 and enjoy a beloved childhood memory.
你看那个小木屋 You see that cabin there?
相关资料说 是非法侵占印第安人的土地建的 I read they were illegally squatting on Indian land.
是的 Yeah.
就个人而言 我觉得我们 Personally, I think what we did
对印第安人的所作所为是错的 to the Native Americans was wrong,
但这是你最喜欢的电视剧 不是我的 but this is your favorite show, not mine.
你瞧小劳拉·英格尔斯 Oh, look at little Laura Ingalls,
居然在吃花生酱三明治 eating that peanut butter sandwich.
花生酱 Peanut butter?!
真奇怪 因为花生酱 That's strange, since peanut butter
直到20世纪初才出现 wasn't introduced until the early 1900s.
如果早知道这是部时光穿越剧 If I knew this show was about time travel,
我想我早就看了 I would have watched it much sooner.
你是在报复我 You're trying to get back at me
说了《夺宝奇兵》的坏话 for what I said about Raiders of the Lost Ark.
这话真傻 That's silly.
傻到和贝克医生有电话一样 Almost as silly as Dr. Baker having a telephone,
因为在那个年代 since telephones only existed
只有大城市才有电话 in large cities at that time.
这部剧应该叫做《荒谬之地的小木屋》 This is more like Little House on the Preposterous.
谢尔顿 我们在谈恋爱 Sheldon, we're in a relationship.
如果你生气 告诉我就行了 When you get angry, just tell me.
你不必偷偷想办法报复 You don't need to seek revenge.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
每次我爸彻夜未归 Every time my dad stayed out all night,
我妈就会把仓鼠屎放进他的嚼用烟草里 my mom would put hamster poop in his chewing tobacco.
我们不会这样 Well, that's not how we're going to do it.
好的 Fine.
我是在生气 I'm mad at you.
你不仅毁了《夺宝奇兵》在我心中的形象 Not only did you ruin Raiders for me,
甚至可能整个系列都毁了 you may have ruined the whole franchise.
除了第四部 Except for the fourth one,
被你的脏手染指之前就是部烂片了 which was bad before you got your mitts on it.
我不应该说那些话 I-I shouldn't have said it.
对不起 I'm sorry.
谢谢 Thank you.
你心情好些了吗 Do you feel better?
是的 Yes.
不过在我告诉你 你心爱的加菲猫 But not as good as I'm going to when I tell you
没理由恨周一后 我的心情会更好 that your precious Garfield has no reason to hate Mondays.
他是只猫 他周一又不用去上班 He's a cat. He doesn't have a job.
我正好... 这是怎么回事 Hey, I was just-- what is happening?
想让你开心一下 Oh, just a little treat.
我知道你最近因为你妈妈的事 I know you've been feeling really bad
很难过 about your mom lately.
是难过 Oh, oh, I have.
的确好难过 So bad.
我想让你心情好些 And I wanted to make you feel better,
所以我为你计划了特别的安排 so I planned something very special for you.
我已经感觉到安排在起作用了 I can already feel it working.
你好 莱纳德 Hello, Leonard.
妈 Mom?!
我听说你一直在抱怨我的为母之道 I understand you have been whining about my parenting
以此在感情上来操控你的女友 in order to emotionally manipulate your girlfriend.
我... I... uh...
伯纳黛特把一切都告诉我了 Bernadette told me everything.
现在左右咪咪都没你的份了 Now you don't get the left or the right.
我们来讨论下你为什么一直将我牵扯进 Let's discuss why you continue to involve me
你的性生活中 in your sex life.
别这样 妈咪 Oh, please, Mommy.
不要啦 妈咪 No, Mommy.
你六岁时 When you were six years old,
走进房间 撞到我和你父亲光着身子 you walked in on me and your father naked.
我当时用你崭新的 I was swatting his bottom
乒乓球拍猛抽他的屁股 with your brand new Ping Pong paddle.
那原来不是我做梦吗 I didn't dream that?
那件事让你感觉如何 How did that make you feel?
佩妮 回来吧 Penny, come back!
我现在真的难过了 I'm sad for real now!
在过去两个小时内 In the last two hours,
162位女性看过了我们的个人资料 162 women have read our profiles.
其中有多少人给我们发了消息 How many of them have sent us messages?
-加起来吗 -是的 - Combined? - Yes.
零 Zero.
哥们 这真是太残忍了 Dude, this is... this is brutal.
我从未有过如此强烈的被拒绝感 I don't think I've ever felt so rejected.
我曾经救过一只流浪狗 And I had a rescue dog
它跑回收容所时 我都没这么难过 who ran back to the pound.
这真是太惨了 This is the worst.
早知道结果会这样 If we're gonna get shot down,
还不如去酒吧 we might as well just go to a bar
用老方法泡妞 and do it old school.
至少能跟她们面对面交流 And make them look us in the eye.
无论如何也比这样强 Yeah, anything is better than this.
你好 Hello.
没兴趣 Not interested.
我错了 这个更惨 I was wrong. This is worse.
等等 如果不是因为印第安纳·琼斯 Wait, wait-- if it wasn't for Indiana Jones,
法柜根本不会到仓库 the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse!
的确如此 That's true!
他找到并运送了法柜 He collected and delivered the ark
到有关当局备案 to the proper authorities for filing.
像英雄一般 Like a hero!
-就是 -太棒了 - Yeah! Yes! - Right!
不过 确切来说 Although, technically,
印第安纳·琼斯本应该把法柜 Indy was supposed to take the ark
送到博物馆做研究 to a museum to be studied.
他连这事也没办好 He couldn't even get that done.