左方参赛者领先 Advantage left-side competitor.
Xbox 体感游戏《Kinect运动大会2》
你很会玩这游戏啊 Wow, you're really good at this.
姐重心低 下盘稳 Well, I have an extremely low center of gravity.
就像个金字塔 I'm like a pyramid.
你还好吗 How you doing over there?
希望只是脚扭伤 Oh, I hope it's just a sprain.
我没脸再因为打游戏受伤 I cannot walk into that E.R.
而走进急诊室了 with another video game injury.
谢尔顿 你要下一个玩吗 Hey, Sheldon, you want to play next?
我也想 不过我得出门 Oh, I would, but I'm on my way out.
-去哪 -老家德州 - Where? - Texas.
现在去吗 Right now?
为什么 Why?
-家里有人生病吗 -对的 - Is someone sick? - Yes.
我姐的子宫要"生"小孩了 My sister's uterus came down with a baby.
她怀孕啦 那很好啊 Oh, she's pregnant? That's great.
你要成为舅舅了 谢尔顿舅舅 You're gone an uncle-- Uncle Sheldon.
不 我是库伯博士舅舅 No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.
你怎么从来没说过她怀孕了 How come you never said she was pregnant?
我也没跟你说过我哥有肾结石啊 Well, I never told you about my brother's kidney stone.
你这么想知道我全家人的 You want to hear about everything
生殖器都有啥跑出来吗 that comes out of my family's genitals?
还是恭喜你啦 Well, congrats, and it's nice
你能回去陪她真贴心 you're gonna be there for your sister.
大概吧 Yes.
我是被临时抓去的 她老公因骑摩托 I'm filling in for her husband who's recovering
出了严重的车祸 在疗养呢 from a horrible motorcycle accident.
这货运气真好 Lucky duck.
那你要去多久 Wow, so, how long will you be gone?
她预计明天生 Well, she's due tomorrow.
不过她当年高中念了六年 Although it did take her six years to finish high school,
鬼知道这次又要多久 so who knows?
我能送你去机场吗 Can I give you a ride to the airport?
不用了 谢谢 我不想麻烦你 Oh, no, thank you, I don't want to be an inconvenience.
莱纳德 麻利点 Chop-chop, Leonard.
我们十分钟后出发 We leave in ten minutes.
生活大爆炸 第七季 第十一集
来吧 这次是这样 All right, here's the deal.
谢尔顿不在 他那些装饰树的规则 Sheldon is gone, so the tree decorating rules
统统可以不用管了 are out the window.
也就表示 Yeah, which means
我们不需要按照他这个 we don't have to use his ridiculous
狗屁装饰间隔尺来摆了 ornament-spacing template.
我也很乐意为大家报告这在集资网上的 And I'm happy to report its kickstarter campaign
募款额仍坚守在0元 is holding strong at zero dollars.
等等 所以今年《星际大战》与《星际迷航》的 Wait, so Star Wars and Star Trek characters
角色可以挂同一棵树上吗 can go on the same branch?
是啊 超不敢想象吧 I know, it's crazy.
欢迎来到雷霆穹顶 Welcome to the Thunderdome, people!
出自《疯狂的麦克斯》系列电影
我第一次过圣诞节 I've never done this before.
真有意思 It's kind of fun.
如果你妈看见 Yeah, if your mom could see
她的乖犹太儿子现在在干嘛 her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now,
她一定会心脏病发的 she'd have a heart attack.
好主意 我立刻拍照 Good idea, I'll take a picture.
宝贝 我今年手头有点紧 Honey, I'm a little strapped for cash this year,
所以圣诞礼物我打算给你... so for Christmas I was thinking of giving you...
这尤物 this.
-我爱死了 -那就好 - I love it. - Okay.
但是你去年就送过我这个了 But it is what you got me last year.
还有昨晚 And last night.
大家好啊 Hello.
斯图尔特 Hi, Stuart.
太感谢你们没等我到就开始了 Oh, good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start.
虽然你们说了7点开始 Although you said 7:00
而现在正好是7点 不过没事啦 and it's-it's 7:00, but that's fine.
应该是谢尔顿打来吧 Oh, it's probably Sheldon.
谢尔顿 Hi, Sheldon.
大家都在 打个招呼吧 Everybody's here, say hi.
兄弟 Hey, buddy.
你好吗 Howdy.
你好啊 Hello.
我前脚刚离开 The second I go out of town
你们后脚就自己办起了圣诞派对吗 you throw a Christmas party without me?
算吧 Yeah, kind of.
太为我着想了 That's so thoughtful.
你们最好了 You guys are the best.
你姐姐怎么样了 Hey, how's your sister?
她一个小时前就开始分娩了 She went into labor an hour ago.
那很好啊 所以你现在在医院吗 That's wonderful. So you're at the hospital?
不是 她选择在家生 No, she chose to have a home birth...
因为她想要像原始人一样 because she wants to live in the Stone Age
而她又找不到洞穴 and a cave wasn't available.
很多人都觉得在家生产对妈妈比较好 You know, many people believe that home births are better
因为她能够在一个温暖舒适环境下生产 better because the mother is in a warm, comfortable environment
身边还有亲人给自己打气 where she can be nurtured by loved ones.
然后把浴室地板 And turn the bedroom floor
改成羊水滑水道吗 into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide.
谢利 快过来 Shelly, come on!
你姐宫口完全开了 Your sister's fully dilated
她想要在满地是血之前 and she wants a nice family picture
拍一张好看的全家福 before there's blood everywhere!
我的老天啊 Oh, boy.
我今天真不该穿我这件机器人T恤 I picked the wrong day to wear my good robot T-shirt.
如果有天你要给谢尔顿生仔 If you were having Sheldon's baby
你真的会希望他进产房陪你吗 would you really want him in the room?
如果在造人的时候 谢尔顿有进同一个房间 Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby,
我就给你十块钱 I'll give you ten dollars.
我带了《生活多美好》的碟来了 Hey, I brought over It's a Wonderful Life
等会要一起看吗 if you guys want to watch it later.
我好喜欢那部电影 Oh, I love that movie.
我从来没看过 I've never seen it.
-我也没看过 -那太好了 - Me neither. - It's great.
故事发生在圣诞时节 男主万念俱灰 It's Christmastime and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed
本来准备要跳桥自尽... and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself...
不用看了 这就是我的人生 Don't need to see it. Living it.
但上帝让他看到了 But then he gets to see what the world
如果他从未出生 世界会变得怎么样 would be like if he'd never been born.
你想过如果没有你 Hey, you ever imagine what that would be like?
世界会如何吗 Not being born?
你说呢 What do you think?
你说呢[独自面对谢尔顿] What do you think?
你们虽然取笑谢尔顿 You make jokes about Sheldon,
但如果没有他 but if it weren't for him,
我们之中的任何人 I don't think any of us
都不会在此时此刻坐在这里 would be sitting in this room right now.
真的吗 但谢尔顿不在 Really? Sheldon not being here
就是我在今天来的主要原因 is the main reason I'm in this room.
我是说真的 It's true.
你们绝对不会认识我 None of you would know me.
你不会认识伯纳黛特 You wouldn't know Bernadette.
-你也不会跟佩妮交往上 -这很难说 - You wouldn't be dating Penny. - You don't know that.
我是芝士蛋糕工厂多年的常客 I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years.
我本来就有机会泡上她 I could have picked her up.
你不是开玩笑啊 Oh, you weren't joking.
当然不是 No.
宝贝 让我告诉你 Okay, sweetie, let me tell you
当年如果只靠你自己 会怎么发展吧 exactly how that would have gone down.
我要上了 我要去约她 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her out.
巧克力奶还会从我乳头喷出来呢 I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk out of my nipples.
抱歉 我还以为我们说的是 Sorry, I thought we're saying things
永远不可能发生事 that are never gonna happen.
或许这次他真开得了口 Maybe this time he's going to do it.
希望你刚好口渴 我要喷奶啦 Hope you're thirsty, here it comes.
看好了 Watch me.
你们准备好要点菜了 还是要再等一会 Hey, you guys ready to order or you need a few minutes?
我 那个... I, uh, ah, um, I...
那就是再等一会 A few minutes it is.
虽然没成功 但也比平时多发出了点声音 You didn't ask her out, but that was a lot of sounds.
你们的存在让我觉得紧张 You guys are making me nervous.
那你自己过去跟她说话吧 Fine, then go talk to her on your own.
去就去 I will.
-打扰一下 -怎么了 - Excuse me. - Yeah?
你好 我是莱纳德 Hi, uh, um, I'm Leonard?
是吗 你好像不是很确定哦 Really? You don't sound so sure.
不 我就是他 No, I am he.
总之 Uh, any-anyway, um,
有一件事 我很久之前 there's been something I've wanted to ask you
就想问你了 for a long time. Um...
-什么事 -那个... - What's that? - Eh, uh, well,
我想知道 如果你不忙的话 I was wondering-- if you're not too busy--
你是否... um, uh, if,
是否有兴趣 if you'd be interested in...
告诉我洗手间在哪儿 ...telling me where the restroom is?
我觉得来不及了 I think you're too late.
拜托 我才不会尿裤子呢 Come on, I would not have peed my pants.
-她没说错 -你就会那样 - She nailed it. - Sounds about right.
但你忘了 在现实生活中我的确有约你出去 But, you forget, I did ask you out in real life.
如果你不住在她对面 Which couldn't have happened
这事就不会发生 if you didn't live across the hall from her,
所以说还是得谢谢谢尔顿 which couldn't have happened without Sheldon.
你们俩也一样 Same goes with you guys.
如果莱纳德不跟佩妮在一起 If Leonard wasn't with Penny,
-她就不会给你俩牵红线 -无所谓啊 - she never would have set you up. - Doesn't matter.
伯纳黛特还是会在芝士蛋糕工厂上班 Bernadette still would've been working at The Cheesecake Factory,
而我还是肌肉猛男一枚 and I still would've been working this beefcake factory.
你肯定会拜倒在我的高领衫下 You would've been all over me.
这个嘛 Well...
佩妮 我可以负责那桌吗 Hey, Penny, can I take that table?
可以啊 为什么 Sure, why?
那个穿高领衫的男生蛮帅的 The one in the turtleneck is cute.
张大嘴 Open wide,
美食火车要入山洞啦 here comes the happy train.
好吃好吃 呜呜 Mm-hmm, chug-a chug-a, yum, yum.
别动 Hang on.
你嘴角有东西 You got a... you got a little something.
还是算了吧 Never mind.
天啊 Oh, man,
真像咱俩 that is so us.
或许我们本来不会在一起 You know, maybe you and I wouldn't be together,
但没我 你肯定好不到哪儿去 but you wouldn't have done so great yourself.
-为什么 -因为我清楚知道 - Why? - Because I know exactly
你最后会跟哪种人在一起 the kind of guy you would've ended up with.
宝贝 Hey, babe.
你有记得付房租吗 Hey. Did you remember to pay the rent?
我做了件更棒的事 我把钱拿去买魔豆了 Better. I used the money to buy these magic beans.
他或许是个蠢货 Hey, he may be an idiot,
但至少他不会尿裤子 but at least he didn't pee himself.
还没说完呢 Oh, hold on.
宝贝 我尿裤子了 Aw, babe, I peed myself.
我也是 Me, too.
剧终 The end.
谢尔顿 Hi, Sheldon.
一切还好吗 Everything okay?
不好 No, it's not.
我看见了可怕的东西 I've seen things.
女人"那里" Lady things.
听我说 Listen to me.
那地方通常看上去不是那样 That is not the way they usually look.
不重要了 Doesn't matter.
这不是创造新人类的途径 This is no way to make new humans.
人从人的身体里出来 People coming out of people.
就像是下流的魔术表演 It's some kind of dirty magic show.
谢尔顿·李·库珀 Sheldon Lee Cooper.
快给我回来 You get back in this room right now.
顺便拿个拖把 And bring a mop.
你听见了吗 Did you hear that?
拿拖把 A mop.
我有两个博士学位 而现在却成了 I have two PhDs yet somehow I'm the janitor
我姐姐产道的清洁工 of my sister's birth canal.
谢尔顿给我们都发了封邮件 Hey, Sheldon sent us all an e-mail.
主题是"来自德州的节日问候" "Happy holidays from Texas."
还有图片呢 And there's pictures.
别打开 千万别打开 Don't open them. Do not open them.
拜托 Oh, come on.
分娩是一个自然而又美丽的... Childbirth is a natural, beautiful...
就像一头牛被人锯成了两半 Oh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
我爸是妇科医生 我能承受住 My father's a gynecologist, I think I can handle it.
我一秒钟被掰"弯"了 And, now, I'm gay.
我在想 如果没有谢尔顿 You know, I was thinking. Without Sheldon,
我们大部分人都不会相遇 most of us would have never met,
但佩妮还是会住在他的对面 but Penny would still live across from him.
而莱纳德只是个不相干的人 And with Leonard out of the picture,
我们都知道这意味着什么 we all know what that would mean.
是吗 We do?
谢尔顿 Hey, Sheldon.
你好 Hello.
在洗衣服吗 Doing laundry?
我当然在洗衣服啊 Of course I'm doing laundry.
周六晚上是洗衣之夜 Saturday night is laundry night,
而且我在洗衣房 and I'm in a laundry room, so...
你的推理是合理的 I believe your inference is justified.
我的推理是合理的 Oh, my inference is justified.
谢尔顿 你好幽默哦 Sheldon, you are so funny.
对了 我也要洗衣服 Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too,
因为这些衣服太脏了 because these clothes are so dirty.
就跟穿它的女孩一样脏[下流] Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's wearing them.
够了 别说了 Okay, that's enough.
-不要 -继续说 - Disagree. - Keep going.
你觉得怎么样 So, what do you think?
胸部有点不对称 A tad asymmetrical,
但无须为乳腺癌担心 but nothing to be concerned about.
拜托 谢尔顿 我要你 Please, Sheldon. I need you.
要我干嘛 To... what?
占有我[带我走] To take me.
除非你把衣服穿上 不然我哪儿也不会带你去 I'm not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt.
谢尔顿 咱俩在这里开搞 Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here.
佩妮 我再说第一千次 Penny, for the thousandth time,
我要为我的另一半守贞 I'm saving myself for someone special.
或许她是一个戴眼镜的可爱神经学家 Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist
泥土颜色的秀发 with hair the color of mud.
我知道该怎么让你改变主意 I think I know how to change your mind.
别说了 That's enough.
我不介意继续听 I was okay with it.
怎么样了 谢尔顿 How's it going, Sheldon?
老实说 好多了 Actually, much better.
太好了 孩子出生了吗 Oh, good. Is the baby born yet?
我不知道 我刚回来 I don't know. I just got back.
你去哪里了 Where'd you go?
我妈让我去弄几条毛巾 My mother asked me to get some towels.
她又没说去哪弄 于是我钻了个空子 I took advantage of the vague request
跑到连锁寝家具用品店去了 and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
小声点 我在打电话呢 Excuse me! I'm on the phone!
太没礼貌了 So rude.
还有一点 佩妮 Here's another one. Penny,
如果不是谢尔顿 if it weren't for Sheldon,
你永远也不会遇见漫画书的传奇斯坦·李 you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee.
斯坦·李 美国漫画界的元老 著名作品有《X-men》《蜘蛛侠》等 第三季第16集 佩妮带谢尔顿去斯坦·李家中索要签名
好吧 Great.
至少我和莱纳德 还有霍华德 At least Leonard, Howard and I
三个人永远都会是朋友 would have always been friends.
为什么你们仨不一起租房子呢 Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together?
我们谈过这事 但当时霍华德 We talked about it, but Howard was in
在谈一段很认真的感情 对象是他妈 a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
我跟她住是为了省钱 I lived with her to save money.
是啊 你也不用去买菜 Yeah, you didn't have to buy groceries
因为你是母乳喂养 'cause you were breast-feeding.
所以如果不是因为我 Aw, so I guess if it weren't for me,
你会还和她住在一起 对吗 you'd still be living with her, huh?
也不尽然 Not exactly.
"也不尽然"是什么意思 What do you mean, "Not exactly"?
情况还是会有些不一样 Well, things would be a little different.
霍华德 我的午饭呢 Howard, where's my lunch?!
老娘快饿死了 I'm starving!
我知道你快饿死了 I know you're starving.
邻居们都知道你快饿死了 The neighbors know you're starving.
非洲快饿死的百姓 都知道你快饿死了 There's starving people in Africa who know you're starving!
就这么点吗 怎么够我吃啊 That's it?! There's not enough food!
你已经把地球上能吃的都吃光了 Well, you cleaned out Earth!
我去哪给你找食物啊 I don't know what else to do!
这和现实有什么不一样 How is this any different?
姑且听我讲完 You didn't let me finish.
午餐来了 母亲 Here you go, Mother.
你是个好孩子 霍华德 You're a good boy, Howard!
真是个好孩子 Such a good boy!
慢着 她是自然死亡 还是被你杀了 Wait-- did she die or did you kill her?
管它寿终正寝还是死于非命 重点是她死了 Eh, tomato, tomahto. The important thing is she's dead.
那你们俩为什么不一起租房子呢 Hey, so how come you two didn't move in together?
这家伙想要独立的空间 This guy wanted a place of his own
因为他确定自己将夜夜流连花丛中 because he was sure he was gonna be a ladies' man.
但我错了 Yeah, I was wrong.
但我觉得咱俩做室友一定很开心 But I do think you and I would have had a great time.
来吧 莱纳德 晚餐好了 Come on, Leonard, dinner.
来了 Coming.
等等 Hang on.
我为什么成肥仔了 Why would I be fat?
你又没女友看你的裸体 You'd have no girlfriend to see you naked,
你想用食物填补空虚 you'd try to fill the void with food,
我的油炸煎饼为你创造了变肥的条件 and I'm an enabler who once deep-fried a pancake.
为什么你不跟着我一起肥呢 Why can't you be fat, too?
你想吃什么饭后甜点 What do you want to do for dessert?
早餐还剩下半个蛋糕呢 I think there's still half a cake from breakfast.
不 早吃完啦 No, there's not.
伙计们 Hey, guys.
斯图尔特 Stuart.
你这是做什么 What are you doing?
我 I...
只想跑个龙套 哪个故事都行 just wanted to be in anyone's story.
但为什么你也是肥仔 Yeah, but why are you fat?
因为跟着莱纳德一起肥啊 'Cause Leonard was fat.
艾米 你呢 Amy, what about you?
如果你不认识谢尔顿 生活会是怎样 What do you think you'd be doing if you never met Sheldon?
很难说 It's hard to say,
我的生活会 很不同 my life would be so... different.
你可以说"更好" 反正谢尔顿听不到 You can say "better." Sheldon can't hear you.
我不知道 I don't know.
* 祝我生日快乐 * * Happy birthday to me *
* 糖霜上泪花花 * * There's tears in the frosting *
* 祝我生日快乐 * * Happy birthday to me.*
我不乱入了 I'll stop now.
情况如何 谢尔顿 How's it going, Sheldon?
结束了 That's it.
宝宝出生了 The baby's here.
是个男孩 It's a boy.
恭喜啦 Congrats.
谢谢大家 Oh, thank you.
我本来不确定能不能挺过去 I wasn't sure I was gonna to make it.
但我妈给了我一些冰块 But my mother gave me some ice chips,
我姐姐让我大口呼吸 my sister told me to breathe.
我对自己说 "谢尔顿 And I just thought to myself, "Sheldon,
你能撑过看垃圾《绿灯侠》电影而没死 if you can make it through the Green Lantern movie,
你也能挺过这一关" you can make it through this."
好样的 兄弟 Well, good for you, buddy.
你快回去吧 We'll let you get back in there.
才不 我不会回去了 Oh no, no, I'm not going back in there.
那个宝宝太令人恼火了 That baby is so irritating.
他从一出生 整个人生就是在哭 He has literally been crying his entire life.
果然是外甥像舅 尽得谢利舅舅真传 Aw, he's already taking after Uncle Shelly.
别这样 谢尔顿 你应该回去 Come on, Sheldon, you should go.
为什么 Why?
你总是抱怨你在成长过程中 Well, you always complain that you never
没有一个智慧型的榜样 had an intelligent role model growing up,
现在你可以做你外甥的榜样了 and now you can be one for your nephew.
好吧 我去吧 Ugh, all right, I'll go.
但据我所见 他的注意力 But from what I've seen, his attention span
和他的膀胱控制力一样有限 is as limited as his bladder control.
你能让他乖乖听你的话 You actually got him to do it.
你一直在说 Yeah, you keep saying
谢尔顿对我们的影响有多大 how much Sheldon has affected all of us,
但显然 你也影响了他 but you've clearly had an impact on him.
真是这样的话 If that were true,
我就不会依然独居深闺了 I wouldn't still be living alone.
也不算独居 Well, not exactly alone.
有一个穿着谢尔顿T恤的 I do have a 50 pound sack of rice
50磅米袋子陪着我 with one of Sheldon's T-shirts on it.
听我说 谢尔顿比你想象中还要在乎你 I'm telling you, Sheldon cares for you more than you think.
我也希望能相信你的话 I wish I could believe you.
我还希望米袋谢尔顿的身体里 I also wish there wasn't a mouse
没有住着一只老鼠 living in Rice Sheldon.
稍等 我提前送你个 Hang on, I'm gonna give you a little
圣诞节小礼物 early Christmas present.
我给你看样东西 I'm gonna show you something,
但如果你告诉谢尔顿 but if you ever told Sheldon
他可能就再也不会理我了 he'd probably never speak to me again.
所以如果你想告诉他 我没意见 So, if you want to tell him, that's fine.
看 Look.
我不明白 I don't understand.
他的屏保用的是你的照片 He made you his screensaver.
我完全不知道 I had no idea.
他超级爱我的 He is so into me.
慢着 我怎么消失了 Wait, wait, where'd I go?
屏保中有你 沼泽怪 Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing,
史蒂芬·霍金 蜘蛛侠 Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man...
但想想看 你跻身经典集锦中了 but, look, you're in the mix.
我跻身经典集锦中了 I am in the mix.
而且我是最漂亮的一个 And I'm the hottest one.
这是谁 Who's that?
居里夫人 Oh, Madame Curie.
没事 死人没威胁 That's fine, she's dead.
你还好吗 You okay?
你回来了我好开心 Just really glad you're back.
我也开心 Me, too.
我有好多电视剧要补 I got a lot of TV to catch up on.
我想你 I missed you.
引用星战韩·索罗的名言 我知道 To quote Han Solo, "I know".
你想我吗 Did you miss me?
你要是能陪我一起去就好了 I would've preferred to have you there with me.
是吗 Oh.
替我去更好 Or instead of me.
你抱了宝宝吗 Did you hold the baby?
抱了 I did.
然后呢 And?
你有什么感觉 How did it make you feel?
看着这个生物 Looking into the blank, innocent eyes
空洞无知的眼睛 完全不理解我说的话 of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend
我能有啥感觉 anything I was saying?
基本上和上班时一个感觉 Basically just another day at the office.
我要出手了 I'm gonna do it.
我要约她出去 I'm gonna ask her out.
是啊 巧克力奶还会从我乳头喷出来呢 Yeah, and chocolate milk is gonna squirt out of my nipples.
要么行动要么闭嘴 你喷得出 我喝得下 Put up or shut up. You make it, I'll drink it.
你们还需要什么吗 You guys need anything else?
你的电话号码 再加一块芝士蛋糕 Your phone number and one more cheesecake.
不好意思 我有男友了 I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
其实呢 他已经来了 In fact, there he is now.
可以走了吗 小甜心 Ready to go, sweetheart?
先亲亲才行哦 Not until I get my kiss.
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