天啊 我超想尿尿 Boy, do I have to urinate.
要是有办法解决就好了 If only there were a solution to that.
真的 Seriously.
我感觉骨盆那里好像有个鱼缸 I feel like I've got a fish tank in my pelvis.
那就去上厕所啊 So go to the bathroom.
不行 I can't.
为什么 Why not?
因为人家正在做决定 Because I'm trying to decide
是买Xbox One呢 还是买PS4呢 between getting an Xbox One or a PS4.
"P"与尿尿同音 说出来更想尿尿了 Oh, "Pee." Why'd I say that?
原谅我要问一个白痴的问题 Forgive me for asking a stupid question,
但你为什么在耍白痴啊 but why are you being stupid?
我才不是耍白痴 I'm not being stupid.
我采用的是荷兰研究员米莉亚·塔克的研究 I'm employing the work of Dutch researcher, Mirjam Tuk,
她发现人们在憋尿的时候 who found that people with full bladders
能做出更好的决策 make better decisions.
我当初决定搬进来之前 真不应该去尿尿 Why did I pee before I decided to move in here?
试镜怎么样 Oh, how'd the audition go?
惊艳四座 I killed it.
我甚至在该哭的时刻 真掉了眼泪 I was even able to cry real tears right on the spot.
-太好了 -就是 - Oh, that's great. - I know.
等下次我超速 被警察拦下来罚款时 Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket,
我的"水龙头"就会哗哗流 here come the waterworks.
我的"水龙头"也要哗哗流了 Here come the waterworks!
你不问为什么吗 Aren't you gonna ask?
我第一天搬来这吗 What is this, my first day?
生
活
大
爆
炸
第七季 第十九集
今天公司有件事 我能问下你们的意见吗 Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today?
-当然可以 -没问题 - Of course. - Yeah, sure.
我做了一件事 Okay, well, I did something
可能会让我看起来像一个可爱的呆瓜 that will either make me look like a lovable goof
或一个该永生被罚下地狱的禽兽 or a horrible monster damned to spend eternity in hell.
肯定是可爱的呆瓜 I'm sure it's lovable.
我觉得会是禽兽 说吧 发生什么了 I'm gonna go with monster. What do you got?
我们办公室有位女士要退休了 Well, there's this lady in our office who's retiring,
同事们都把自己的祝语 and they were passing around one of those big cards
-写在一张大卡片里 -我懂 - for us to sign... - Okay.
但没人告诉我 But no one told me she was in
她周末出了严重的车祸 a horrible car accident over the weekend
我当时签的不是一张退休贺卡 and what I was signing was not a retirement card
而是一张"慰问"卡 but was actually a "get well" card.
我觉得我选对了 I'm liking my odds here.
所以写在卡片上的话 其实是给 So on the card, in the hospital,
一个好不容易活下来 至今仍未出院的女人看 next to the woman who's clinging to life are the words,
"薇薇安 这都是你应得[活该]的" "Hey, Vivian. You deserve this""
"至少你"走"了以后 "And at least with you gone,
没有人会偷吃我冰箱里的酸奶" no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge."
太坏了 No!
-"滚地笑 笑脸" -我听不下去了 - "LOL. Smiley face." - Oh, my gosh.
"附注 希望你一路走好" "P.S. Good luck wherever you wind up."
我一开始就该下重注赌钱 Why didn't I put money on this?
是我经纪人 如果我得到那个角色 Hey, that's my agent. If I got the part,
那也只能屈居"今日最棒"排行榜的第二位 it's still the second best thing I've heard all day.
喂 Hello?
我是不是很坏呀 Am I a terrible person?
不 那只是误会而已 No. No, it was a mistake.
我当时有想过如果她挂掉 Am I a terrible person that it crossed my mind
就不会看见那张卡片了 那这样坏不坏 that she might die and never see the card?
现在我觉得你在挑战道德底线了 Now I think you're flirting with the line.
是好消息吗 Good news?
不 我落选了 No, I didn't get it.
真可惜 I'm so sorry.
-很快会有新角色找你的 -好像是 - You'll get offered something soon.- I kind of did.
我之前拒演的那个垃圾恐怖片 The part in that awful horror movie I passed on
现在又回来找我了 came back around.
显然如果我愿意 那角色还是我的 Apparently, it's mine if I want it.
那你会接吗 Are you gonna take it?
我不知道该怎么办 I don't know what to do.
可能哪天被车撞死就不用烦了 Maybe you'll get hit by a car and die.
滚地笑 对吧 LOL, right?
你是艾米丽吧 Emily, right?
是的 Yeah...
我不知道你是否还记得我 I-I don't know if you remember me...
交友网站上的那个 From the dating Web site.
你因为不敢联系我 所以让你朋友代劳 Your friend e-mailed me because you were afraid to,
而现在却像个疯子一样跟踪我 then you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic?
没错 我是拉杰什·库萨帕里 Yes, Rajesh Koothrappali.
我只是 Look, uh, I just...
我想跟你道个歉 I wanted to say I'm sorry.
可以吗 你大概是 Okay? You were, like,
我在网上遇到的最酷的人 the coolest person I ever found online,
我当时真的好紧张 and I got really nervous
于是就搞砸了 and I-I just blew it.
都已经过去了 Uh, don't worry about it.
如果能让你好过点 And if it makes you feel any better,
你还不是我在网上遇到的最奇怪的人 you're not the weirdest guy I've met off the Internet.
给我个机会试试 你还不知道我的真本事呢 Well, give me a chance-- you don't even know me.
好吧 All right,
现在就给你机会 here's your chance.
什么 真的吗 Wha... Really?
谢谢 Thank you.
命运给了我难得的第二次机会 Fate has given me a rare second chance,
我对毗湿奴[印度神]发誓 这次我绝不搞砸 and I swear to Vishnu I'm not gonna blow it.
或是给你一个迷人的微笑 说两句正常的话 Or normal words followed by a charming smile.
最先上市的游戏机 也就是PS1 So, first there was PlayStation-- aka PS1--
然后是PS2 PS3 现在出到PS4了 then PS2, PS3 and now PS4.
这很符合常理 And that makes sense.
你就会认为在Xbox之后 会有Xbox2 You'd think after Xbox, there'd be Xbox 2.
结果不是 下一代叫Xbox360 But no, next came Xbox 360.
而在360之后 现在出的版本叫Xbox One And now, after 360, comes Xbox One.
为什么要叫"One[一]" Why "One"?
可能他们想名字的时候只花了"一"秒的时间吧 Maybe that's how many seconds of thought they put into naming it.
能帮我拿下黄油吗 Can you get the butter, please?
但是 用Xbox One You know, however, with the Xbox One,
我可以通过语音指令控制 I can control my entire entertainment system
我整个娱乐系统 using voice commands.
而到目前为止 我都是用莱纳德 Up until now, I've had to use Leonard.
那就买另外一个好了 把黄油递给我 Then get the other one. Pass the butter.
买另外...等一下 Get... Hang on.
我觉得你没把我这难题当一回事 I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously.
行 谢尔顿 Fine, Sheldon.
我现在专心听你说 You have my undivided attention.
好 PS4的外形 Okay, now, the PS4 is
有棱有角 霸气犀利 more angular and sleek-looking.
-这么帅 -是真的 - No way. - Yeah, well, it's true.
但Xbox One体型更大 But the larger size of the Xbox One
能帮助它免除过热的问题 may keep it from overheating.
谁会想要自己的游戏机过热啊 Well, you wouldn't want your gaming system to overheat.
不想 当然不想啦 No, see? Well, you absolutely would not.
而且现在Xbox One And furthermore, the Xbox One
随机附送体感控制器呢 now comes with a Kinect included.
-随机附送吗 -是啊 - Included?! - Yes!
不用额外买了 Not sold separately.
可是 PS4主机 Although...the PS4
用的是新款GDDR5内存 uses cool new GDDR5 RAM,
而Xbox One还在用旧款的DDR3内存 while the Xbox One is still using the conventional DDR3 memory.
他们为啥还用DDR3内存啊 Why would they still be using DDR3?
他们脑子坏了吗 Are they nuts?!
就是啊 我也是这么想的 See? That's what I thought.
但他们还加了嵌入式静态存储器 But then they go and throw in an eSRAM buffer.
等等 先停一下 Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
-"他们"是指谁 -Xbox啊 - Who's "they"? - Xbox.
-你在开玩笑啊 -我真的不是 - You're kidding! - No, I am not!
而这个嵌入式静态存储器应该能够 And this eSRAM buffer should totally bridge
弥补两家用的两种内存之间 the 100-gigabit-per-second bandwidth gap
每秒100G比特的带宽差距啊 between the two RAM types.
太残忍了 这让你怎么下决定啊 This is a nightmare. How will you ever make a decision?
所以我才一直举棋不定啊 You see? I don't know!
我到底该怎么做 What should I do?
快给老娘黄油 Please pass the butter!
不是我的问题 是这剧本烂爆了 Okay, it's not me, right? This script is terrible.
是啊 Yeah.
我内心对一部名叫 I had higher hopes for a movie called
《杀人恶猿2 猴见猴杀》的电影 期望可"高"了 Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill.
电影虽烂 You know, it's still possible
但你还是有机会能在里面大放异彩啊 for you to be good in a bad movie.
好吧 Okay.
"有时候我觉得我已经能控制 "Sometimes I feel like I can control
我心中杀人恶猿的凶性 the killer gorilla instinct inside of me,
但我看到这些香蕉以后 我就... but then I see these bananas and I...
超级想大快朵颐 然后大开杀戒" just want to eat them and then kill people."
我到底该怎么做啊 What am I gonna do?
首先呢 你不该吃那些香蕉 Well, for starters, I wouldn't eat the bananas.
不是啦 别闹 No...Come on!
人家很认真呢 This is serious.
那这部戏的酬劳高吗 Does it at least pay well?
比我在起司工厂打工的钱还少 Less than I was making at The Cheesecake Factory.
你的经纪人怎么看 What does your agent think?
她在考虑去起司工厂应征 She's thinking of taking a job at The Cheesecake Factory.
这样吧 你就直接去演吧 You know what, why don't you just do it?
你能去玩个几周 赚点小钱 You'll go have fun for a few weeks, make some money--
谁知道这会为你带来什么机遇呢 and who knows what it might lead to?
好了 你看 第58页 Okay, look, here, page 58.
我跟红毛猩猩在油中摔跤 穿着比基尼哦 I oil-wrestle an orangutan in a bikini.
我就确定一下 是你还是它穿比基尼 Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini?
两人都穿 Both of us.
这电影适合合家观赏啊 So it's a family film.
谢谢你今天的晚餐 Thank you again for dinner.
不客气 You're welcome.
晚安 Good night.
今晚是约会之夜 Uh, it's date night.
你是不是忘了什么事了 Aren't you, uh, forgetting something?
懂了 Oh, of course.
我有告诉你PS4的手把会发光吗 Did I mention the PS4 controllers light up?
没有 No.
它们真会发光哦 Well, they do.
喝完咖啡之后 我们俩去散步了一会 And then after coffee, we went for a walk
她跟我说她一直觉得印度人 and she told me she always thought people from India
很神秘又有异国风情 were exotic and mysterious.
虽然我嘴上说 So, with my mouth, I said,
"我们跟其他人都差不多啦" "we're just like anybody else,"
但其实我的眼神在说 but with my eyes, I said,
"上来吧 红发妞 跳上我的魔法飞毯" "Straight up, Red, hop on my flying carpet."
你们还会约会吗 So, you gonna see her again?
会啊 这周末我们就有安排 Yeah, we have plans this weekend.
而如果那晚能看到星星 And if it's a clear night,
我会对她使使出浪漫天文泡妞招 I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her.
是吗 使给本宫看看 Okay, like what? Show me.
我不能做对不起莱纳德的事 I can't do that to Leonard.
我这招数一出 女人小裤裤必定落地 This is some powerful panty-dropping stuff.
朕批准了 你尽管出招 You have my blessing. Go for it.
好吧 Okay.
佩妮 Penny,
夜空中那两颗最明亮的星星 two of the brightest stars in the night sky
是牛郎星与织女星 are Altair and Vega.
传说中他们俩深爱着对方 And it is said they were deeply in love
但却被永远地 but forever separated
分隔在银河系的天河两侧 by the celestial river of the Milky Way.
-好可怜 -是啊 - Oh, that's sad. - It is.
但每年都会有一天 But once a year,
在每年第七个月 第七天的晚上 on the seventh day of the seventh month,
织女会哭得十分惨 Vega cries so hard
这时世界上所有的喜鹊都会飞到天上 that all the magpies in the world fly up
用它们的翅膀搭一座鹊桥 and create a bridge with their wings
让这一对恋人能有机会相聚 so the two lovers can be together
虽然这激情团聚 for a single night
只有仅仅一夜 of passion.
好了 够了 Okay, that's enough.
快速投票 买PS4或Xbox One Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One?
拉杰 Raj.
-Xbox One -佩妮 - Uh, Xbox One. - Penny.
啥 Huh?
-莱纳德 -PS4 - Leonard. - PS4.
-霍洛维兹 -两个都不错 - Wolowitz. - Both great.
-博纳黛特 -我喜欢Wii - Bernadette. - I like the Wii.
多谢了 奶奶 Thanks, Grandma.
-我的天 -怎么了 - Oh, my Goodness. - What's up?
我的前女友露西给我发了一封邮件 I just got an e-mail from my ex-girlfriend Lucy.
她说...她很想我 希望和我聚一聚 She... misses me and wants to get together.
哇 一男驭二女 Two women at the same time?
厉害哦 小淫棍 Nice job, playa!
真得这么说话吗 Really?
是"驭二女"还是"小淫棍"的问题 Was it the "two women" thing or the "playa"?
看来是小淫棍 It was the "Playa".
我该怎么办 What am I supposed to do?
我该如何在艾米丽和露西之间抉择 How am I supposed to choose between Emily and Lucy?
何必费神去选 两个一起约嘛 Why do you have to choose? Date both of them.
我可不会同时和两个女生谈恋爱 I can't date two women at once.
一个女人都不剩 那才是我的长项 Zero women-- that's my sweet spot.
只要你没和她们上床 Unless you're sleeping with one of them,
跟其他人约会就没什么关系 seeing other people isn't a big deal.
可要是其中一人问起 But what if one of them asks me
昨天晚上干了什么 what I was up to the night before
而我恰好是和另一个人约会去了 and I was with the other one?
那我该怎么办 骗她吗 Then, what, do I lie?
-没错 -当然 - Yes. - Yes.
你说"没错"是什么意思 What do you mean, yes?
你的"当然"又是什么意思 What do you mean, yes?
我们约会时 你也和其他女人约会吗 Were you seeing other women when we started dating?
我没有 你有跟其他男人约会吗 No. Were you seeing other men?
我也没有 No.
你有跟其他男人约会吗 Were you seeing other men?
没有 No.
你怎么不问我 Aren't you gonna ask me?
拜托 有必要问吗 Come on, really?
多谢你抽空向我们指教 Thank you so much for letting us pick your brain.
没事 举手之劳 Yeah, happy to help.
你有什么问题 So, what's going on?
我的事业现在发展 Well, I'm having an impossible time
极其不顺 getting my career off the ground,
正好有个超级烂片找我去演 and I got offered a role in this crappy horror movie,
所以我不知道该不该接受这个角色 and I just don't know if I should take it.
我自己也接过一些让我觉得丢人的片子 Well, I have certainly taken some jobs that I've been embarrassed by.
《星际迷航》也算不上丢人吧 I wouldn't exactly call Star Trek embarrassing.
我说的不是它 I wasn't.
我也没说它 Me, either.
所以你怎么看 So, what do you think,
做这件事有什么专业上的坏处吗 is there a professional downside to doing it?
这很难讲 Well, it's tricky.
你当然希望选自己喜欢的工作来做 You want to take projects that you're excited about,
但有时你也不得不为五斗米折腰 but sometimes you also have to pay the bills.
当你在做片场演自己 When you're on the set working on something
心里觉得超烂的片子时 that you just know in your heart is bad--
我不是指《星际迷航》 not Star Trek...
把我传送上去[星际迷航台词] 我超爱这戏 Yeah, beam me up. I love it!
反正 这些工作很可能会毁掉你的信心 Anyway, those jobs can be soul-crushing.
我就是担心这个 That's what I'm afraid of.
我小时候出演过《与我同行》 Well, I was in Stand By Me when I was a kid,
这片子当时可火爆了 and it was a huge success.
在这之后我演了不少烂片 The terrible movies I did came after that.
想象一下我当时的感受 I mean, imagine how that feels.
肯定很不堪 Sounds rough.
相信我 演艺界很残酷 I'm telling you, this business is brutal.
直到今天 我还是很讨厌去试镜 To this day, I hate going on auditions.
我一走进去 就可以感受到 Okay, I walk in, and I can just
他们在想 feel them thinking...
"这孩子以前多可爱 "He was such a cute kid.
时光真是把杀猪刀啊" What happened to him?"
结果我没能接到这个角色 And then I don't get the job,
也永远不知道原因 and I can never find out why.
老实说 我深受打击 Honestly, I get so depressed,
有时候好几周 我连床都爬不起来 there are entire weeks that I can't even get out of bed.
你的话对我们帮助太大了 Okay, this was helpful.
你那位住院的同事最近如何啊 Any news on your coworker who's in the hospital?
她好可怜 动了18个小时手术 Poor thing, she was in surgery for 18 hours.
虽然活下来了 但情况仍然危急 She's alive, but she's still in critical condition.
真不幸 Oh, no.
唯一的好消息是 她还没来得及看卡片 The one bit of good news is they put her
就被医生用药物陷入昏迷状态了 in a medically induced coma before she read the card.
也算是不幸中的万幸吧 So, you know, silver linings.
你和我结婚时 就这个样子了吗 Were you like this when I married you?
别担心了 兄弟 Don't worry about it, buddy.
好的 回见 Okay, bye.
是威尔 他情绪恢复得好多了 That was Wil-- he's feeling a lot better.
他的名字出现在 Apparently, he's 12-down
《电视指南》纵横字迷的第12行 in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
他有帮你做出决定 到底要不要接那部戏吗 Did he help you make a decision about the movie?
没 那你想好 No. Did you figure out
要如何应对那两个女孩了吗 what you're gonna do about the two girls?
老实说 我想好了 As a matter of fact, I did.
这些年来我深陷恐惧之中 I've spent so many years living in fear,
不敢面对新的事物 saying no to new experiences,
但从现在起 but from now on,
我要积极接受一切 I'm gonna say yes--
接受爱 接受挑战 拥抱生活 yes to love, yes to adventure, yes to life;
不管什么事 我都会勇敢地去接受 whatever it may be, the answer's going to be yes.
这家伙绝对孤独终老 对吧 He's gonna die alone, right?
-没错 -绝对的 - Yeah. - Yes.
以你为荣 谢尔顿 I'm proud of you, Sheldon.
我也以自己为荣 You know, I'm proud of me, too.
我做了全面的研究 I've done all my research,
发起了一个非正式的民意投票 I conducted an informal poll,
所以我现在清楚明白地知道 and I've arrived at the rock-solid certainty
我做的选择是对的 I've made the right choice.
你现在心情一定非常好 Well, that's got to be a good feeling.
的确如此 Oh, it is.
-可是... -我靠 - Although... - Oh, crap.
当年我逼我爸不买录影带系统 I had the same feeling when I made my dad
而去买另一家产品时 心情也是这样 buy a Betamax instead of a VHS.
你还只是小孩而已 You were just a little kid.
对 一个选错了格式 Yeah, a little kid who picked the wrong format
录"麦克尼尔和莱尔报导"的孩子 to record The MacNeil/Lehrer Report.
PBS台的新闻节目 83年便已改名
我还曾确信 I also was certain
高清DVD会胜过蓝光呢 that HD DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
你那时候多大 How old were you then?
大到应该知道哪种更好 Old enough to know better.
现在想想 You know, and now that I think about it,
我曾经站在一箱子iPod前 I stood in front of a case of iPods
我却买了Zune and I bought a Zune.
什么是Zune What's a Zune?
就是说啊 Yeah, exactly.
是一款MP3播放器 It's an MP3 player
制造商正是生产Xbox的这家[微软] brought to us by the makers of Xbox.
不 你在做什么 What... no, what are you doing?
不 快拿回来 No, no, pick that back up.
你知道这个好 你都做足研究了 You know it's good. You did the research.
但如果我错了呢 But what if I'm wrong?
这样吧 You know what?
不如我买给你 How about I buy it for you?
不如 How about
我两个全买给你 I buy you both?
你知道我的电视上 You know I only have one slot available
只有一个槽可以用 in my entertainment center.
那我就给你买个新电视 Then I'll buy you a new entertainment center.
想得到容易 Well, yeah... okay, sure.
但买哪个牌子好呢 But which one?
这样吧 How about this?
我听说如果扔硬币 I've heard that if you flip a coin,
可以告诉你 你真正的想法 it will tell you how you actually feel.
因为结果要么让你失望 Because you'll either be disappointed
要么令你激动 or excited by the outcome.
有意思 Interesting.
正面是PS4 So, heads it's PS4,
背面是Xbox One tails it's Xbox One.
好吧 我试试 All right, I'll try.
是什么 What is it?
一枚硬币 A quarter.
你也可以还给我 Could have given it back to me.
这也是一种选择 That was a choice.
你看起来 You look...
你今晚看起来真漂亮 you look really pretty tonight.
谢谢 Thanks.
你的外套也不错 I love that jacket.
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you. Thanks, thanks.
对不起 我做不到 I'm sorry. I can't do this.
我的前女友给我发了电邮 My... my ex-girlfriend e-mailed me,
我周六会和她见面 and I'm seeing her Saturday...
我很高兴你觉得我外套好看 是克鲁牌的 And I'm glad you like it-- it's from J. Crew.
我不明白 I don't understand.
我的朋友们告诉我 My friends told me it was okay
同时和多个人约会没问题 to see more than one person at a time,
但我感觉我在欺骗你 but it-it feels like I'm being deceitful.
你会和她复合吗 Are you getting back together with her?
不 No.
我不知道 I-I... I have no idea.
如果是你会怎么做 What would you do?
通常第一次约会 我会谈谈音乐什么的 Uh, usually on first dates, I talk about music and stuff,
但既然说好了你是怪人 就谈这个吧 but I was promised weird, so let's do this.
你们之前有多认真 How serious were you two?
说实话 Well, to be honest,
我们只约会过四次 we only went on four dates,
拥抱过两次 吻过一次 hugged twice, kissed once,
还有一个充满了性暗示的握手 and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.
慢着 Wait, so...
一个你从没"睡"过的女生发了电邮给你 a girl you never slept with sent you an e-mail
让你内疚到你觉得必须告诉我吗 and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me?
是的 Yeah.
挺可爱的 That's kind of adorable.
你说真的吗 Are you... are you sure?
因为一般约会到了这个环节 Because this is the part of the night
都是我说了傻话 女生就直接走了 where I've said something stupid and the girl usually leaves.
我还没走啊 I'm still here.
但现在你让我怀疑你到底有什么毛病 Yeah, but now you make me wonder what's wrong with you.
我们刚认识 We just met.
你不必告诉我 你约会的其他人 You don't need to tell me about other people you're seeing.
真的吗 Really?
因为"我同时和两个女生约会" Because "I'm dating two women"
基本上是我唯一可吹嘘的潮男事迹 is basically the only cool thing I can say about myself.
一方面 Xbox One的摄像头更好 On the one hand, the Xbox One has a better camera...
但PS4可随意换硬盘 but the PS4 has a removable hard drive.
有何想法 Thoughts?
我的腿麻了 I can't feel my legs.
不好意思 两位 Oh... I'm sorry, guys,
商店五分钟前就关门了 but the store closed five minutes ago.
但我还没决定好买哪个 But I haven't decided yet.
那你就明天再来买 You'll have to come back tomorrow.
收银机已经关了 The registers are closed.
咱们去吃点东西吧 Let's get you some food.
吃了东西后你就会感觉好些 Y-You'll feel better after you eat.
好的 Okay.
你想吃什么 泰国菜 What-what do you want, like, Thai food?
还是汉堡 A... A burger?
人家不知道嘛 I don't know!
看 一枚硬币 Hey, look, a quarter!
感觉如何 How's that feel?
非常好 Great.
完全"不后悔" Not like regret at all.
佩妮 Penny?
我们是同事了 We're working together!
太棒了 Awesome!