我们当时准备要拍一幕戏 So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie
是杀人恶猿的DNA正慢慢占领我全身 where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
然后呢 Okay.
但我发现他们把我全身都粘上毛发 But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere,
唯独没粘我的乳沟 except my cleavage.
所以我就问导演为什么 So, I asked the director why
他说把乳沟留到最后猿化 对电影剧情 and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs
有着十分重大的意义 be the last things to turn ape.
他还觉得这电影有剧情 真可爱 It's sweet that he thinks there is a story.
而且片场居然没有厕所 Oh, and there's not even a bathroom on set.
我得走到对街的加油站去借厕所 I have to go to the gas station across the street.
而且我都已经半人半猿了 I mean, I was dressed like half an ape
却还不及那厕所里最恶心的人的一半 and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.
-莱纳德 我需要你帮个忙 -行 什么事 - Leonard, I could use your assistance. - Sure. What's up?
我现在放弃弦理论了 Well, now that I've given up string theory,
宇宙学 暗物质 中微子 质子衰变 轴子
我在纠结该选哪个新研究领域 I'm struggling to find my next area of focus.
从你的专业眼光来看 So, in your professional opinion,
你觉得这几个领域中 哪个最有发展前途 which of these areas do you think is the most promising?
我觉得暗物质领域有不少 Huh, well, I-I think there's some really innovative stuff
创新十足的发现 going on in dark matter.
感谢帮助 That's helpful.
-好 在这四个领域中... -谢尔顿 - Okay. Of these four areas... - Sheldon!
-不是教你要当个好的小伙伴了吗 -谢谢 - What did we say about being a nicer friend? - Thank you.
莱纳德 不是教你别又蠢又爱哇哇叫吗 Lenard, what did we say about being a gullible weenie?
-这真是太烦了 -那是因为你逼自己太紧 - It is just so frustrating. - 'Cause you're trying too hard.
你得做点别的事 转移下注意力 You need to do something else. Get your mind off it.
我们让"无限可能周四夜"复活如何 Hey. How about we bring back Anything Can Happen Thursdays?
行啊 你们当初为什么取消了 Hey, that's good. Why'd you guys stop doing that?
你取笑我们 说这蠢透了 You made fun of us. Said it was stupid.
听起来就像我会干的事 Yeah. Sounds like me.
来吧 谢尔顿 你觉得呢 Come on, Sheldon. What do you say?
好 All right.
我正式宣布恢复无限可能周四夜 I officially reinstate Anything Can Happen Thursday.
太棒了 你想做点什么 Great! what do you want to do?
不知道 I don't know.
那你想做点什么 What do you want to do?
-我也不知道 -那你想做点什么 - I don't know. - What do you want to do?
我开始想起 I'm starting to remember the problem with
以前无限可能周四夜的问题了 Anything Can Happen Thursdays.
生
活
大
爆
炸
第七季 第二十一集
有啥我们能做的好玩事呢 What could we do that's fun?
有啥我们能做的新鲜事呢 What could we do that's different?
有啥我们能做的免费事呢 What could we do that's free?
有了 我们可以叫披萨 Got it! We order a pizza.
你搞笑啊 你平常都这么干 Are you kidding? That's what you always do.
再努力想想 Think harder.
你说得对 你说得对 You're right. You're right.
有了 Got it!
我们叫半月乳酪馅饼 切开来 We order calzones, cut them open,
像吃披萨那样吃 eat them like pizza.
好啦 好啦 All right! All right!
我再摇摇我的大脑智慧树 看有啥果子落下 I'll shake the brain bush one more time, see what falls out.
有了 Got it!
有个实景角色扮演组织 There's a live-action role-playing group
每周四会在格里菲斯公园做活动 that meets every Thursday night in Griffith Park
重新演绎《魔戒》里的战役 and reenacts battles from Lord of the Rings.
我们再聊聊半月馅饼的点子 Uh, tell me more about this calzone idea.
这样吧 我们何不放轻松 You know what? Why don't we just ease into this.
咱们就出去溜达溜达 Let-Let's go for a walk
看能不能找到家新餐厅 and-and-and see if we find a new restaurant.
新餐厅会刚好坐落在格里菲斯公园旁吗 Any chance that restaurant is near Griffith Park?
《魔戒》角色甘道夫的招牌巫师帽
-不会 -好吧 - No. - All right.
拉杰跟霍华德在霍华德的老妈家 Raj and Howard are at Howard's mom's,
但我们要不要打电话叫上艾米跟伯纳黛特 but should we call the girls and see if they want to come?
伯纳黛特今晚要加班 No. Bernadette's working late.
艾米生病了 Amy's sick.
她是什么问题 Aw. What's wrong with her?
她话太多 Well, she talks a lot.
还整天想牵手 She always wants to hold hands.
我问的不是这个意思 That's not what I meant.
如果你是指身体出了什么问题 Well, if you were referring to her illness
那你的问题应该是"她哪病了" your question should have been, "What ails her?"
-"她哪病了" -我哪知道 - "What ails her?" - Oh. Who knows?
来嘛 无限可能 Come on, anything can happen.
我们可以把他推下楼梯啊 We can push him down the stairs!
谢谢你还过来聚聚 Hey. Thanks for coming to hang out.
小意思 你妈妈病情如何 No problem. How's your mom feeling?
还行 但如果她愿意吃药会更好吧 Okay, but she'd feel better if she took her medicine.
小桂子不愿意吃药的时候 You know, when Cinnamon won't take her medicine,
我都把药夹在一片起司里 I hide it in a piece of cheese.
好主意 我们把药夹起司里 Good idea. We can wrap the pill in cheese,
喂小桂子吃 feed it to Cinnamon,
再让我妈把小桂子吃了 and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.
今晚想干嘛 What do you feel like doing?
我们可以来看个DVD I was thinking we could watch a DVD.
我妈这里没太多DVD可选 Well, my mom doesn't have a lot to choose from.
除非你有兴趣看她的结肠镜检查纪录片 Unless you want to watch the video of her colonoscopy.
剧透警告 影片第20分钟 医生发现个西梅籽 Spoiler alert: 20 minutes in, they find a prune pit.
其实你有兴趣看电影《千尸屋》吗 Actually, how do you feel about watching House of 1000 Corpses?
你不是不看简单粗暴血腥片的吗 A straight-up gore-fest? You hate this stuff.
是啊 可是不知为何艾米丽喜欢看 I do, but for some reason, Emily loves it
还想明晚跟我一起看 and wants to watch it with me tomorrow, so...
我想如果先跟你看过 I thought if I start with you first,
明天跟她看时 我就能表现得很酷 then I could act cool about it with her.
这计划其实不错 That's actually not a bad plan.
像我现在也能平静看完结肠镜记录片了 I can sit through the colonoscopy now,
但第一次看时 but that first time I was like,
我还尖叫 "天啊 有西梅籽" "Oh, My God, a prune pit!"
-这么说你会陪我看咯 -当然 - Uh, so... you'd watch it? - Sure.
你真是个好朋友 我欠你一次人情 You're a good friend. I owe you one.
霍华德 Howard!
快把我弄出浴缸 Help me get out of the tub!
人情不还这个 Not that one.
所以我们不先在网上研究一下 So, we're just randomly choosing a restaurant
就要随便找家餐馆吃饭吗 without researching it online?
是的 Yep.
太好了 Great.
这下无限可能周四夜要变成 You know, this is how Anything Can Happen Thursday turns into
无限拉稀周五日了 It Won't Stop Coming Up Friday.
那家亚洲杂烩馆怎么样 Hey, how about that Asian fusion place?
大杂烩[聚变]与亚洲人 Fusion and Asians?
这怎么可能让我不想到科学啊 I'm trying not to think about science.
搞什么啊 What the hell?
太过分了 What...?
她根本不是加班 She's not working late!
艾米也不是生病 And Amy doesn't look sick.
她们为什么要骗我们 Why would they lie to us?
这个问题问得好 That's a good question.
艾米和伯纳黛特 Amy and Bernadette.
你们为什么要骗我们 Why did you lie to us?!
你听这DVD的介绍 Hey. Listen to this:
"谋杀 食人以及邪恶仪式 "Murder... cannibalism and satanic rituals
只是即将上演上千个恐怖事件的冰山一角" are just a few of the thousand plus horrors that await."
我刚把我妈弄出浴缸 I just helped my mom out of the tub,
所以我比你先看了滑倒恐怖事件了 so, I'm one slippery horror ahead of you.
你是一个好儿子 You're a good son.
真不知道你是怎么做到的 I don't know how you do it.
沙滩巾 朋友 Beach blankets, my friend.
诀窍就是沙滩巾 It's all about beach blankets.
好了 赶紧看完了事吧 All right, let's get this over with.
上面有根头发 好恶心哦 Ew, it's got someone's hair on it!
是啊 你肯定会"享受"看这部电影的 Oh, yeah, you're gonna do great with this movie.
你根本不是加班 为什么要骗我 You're not working late. Why did you lie to me?
艾米 你说你病了 And Amy, you told me you were sick,
可你脸色还跟平常一样苍白憔悴 but you look just as pale and tired as always.
对不起嘛 我只是想清静一会 I'm sorry. I just needed a break
不想再听你喋喋不休地说之后要研究什么 from hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory.
我们只是想清静一晚 And we kind of just wanted one night
不用再听你一直抱怨 where we didn't have to hear about
拍这部电影有多惨 how miserable you are making this movie.
但这并不意味着我们不爱你们 But none of that means we don't love you.
我才没有一直抱怨这部电影呢 I haven't been complaining that much about the movie.
有吗 Have I?
我也爱你 I also love you.
算了 You know what?
或许我才应该摆脱你们 清静一会 Maybe I need a break from all of you.
走吧 谢尔顿 Come on, Sheldon.
我们要去哪里 Where are we going?
我们要去共度无限可能周四夜 We're gonna have Anything Can Happen Thursday,
你要喋喋不休地跟我说你的科学 you're gonna tell me all about your science stuff
我要一直跟你抱怨我的电影 and I'm gonna complain about my movie,
而且我们要互相支持 and we're gonna support each other
因为朋友之间就该这样 because that's what friends do.
好吧 Okay.
如果要我现在选 'Cause if I had to pick now,
我可能会选暗物质 因为... I'd probably go with dark matter because...
闭嘴 Shut up.
怎么了 What's wrong?
我看不懂我的食物 I don't understand my food.
中国面条加韩国烤肉 Chinese noodles with Korean barbecue...
一起塞进墨西哥玉米卷 in a taco.
这就叫杂烩啊 It's fusion.
如果我老妈要开车经过 Well, my mother would lock her car doors
这样的种族大杂烩区 她肯定会把车门锁死 if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.
你觉得我有老是在抱怨我的电影吗 Think I've been complaining too much about the movie?
完全不觉得 Not at all.
多谢 Thank you.
但老实说 每次你一开口 But to be fair, when you talk,
你说的大部分对我而言就是 most of what you say sounds like,
"啦啦啦 衣服" "Wah, wah, wah, clothes".
我不懂你为什么不生艾米的气 Hey, I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.
我气啊 I am.
我气到下次约会的时候 So much so that I'm gonna bring her here
要把她带来这里吃饭 for dinner on our next date night.
好吧 Okay.
在过去的20分钟里 So, in the last 20 minutes,
我们看见一个疯女人亲吻罐子中的胎儿 we've seen a crazy woman kissing a fetus in a jar.
看到一个男人被切成两半 然后缝到一条鱼上 We've seen a guy cut in half and sewn to a fish.
我们也看见我妈 And the brutal dismemberment
残忍地肢解了一只烤鸡 of a rotisserie chicken by my mother.
往好的方面想 至少她把药吃下去了 On the bright side, she didn't even notice the pill.
为什么艾米丽会喜欢这种东西 Why does Emily like this stuff?
你觉得她心理会不会有问题啊 Do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her?
有问题又怎么样 What difference does it make?
-这话什么意思 -拜托 - What do you mean? - Oh, come on--
就算她冰箱里装满了前男友的各个身体部位 she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriend's body parts
你还是照样跟她约会 and you'd still go out with her.
不会有前男友来纠缠的确深得我心 I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.
欺骗谢尔顿让我感觉好内疚 I feel so bad about lying to Sheldon.
我怎么才能弥补过错呢 How am I gonna make it up to him?
我能教你我对付霍华德的办法 I'd tell you what I do with Howard,
可我觉得打扮成天主教女学生 but I don't think dressing up like a Catholic schoolgirl
哄不了谢尔顿开心 is gonna work with Sheldon.
他估计会给你布置家庭作业 He'd probably give you homework.
-你今晚也对霍华德说谎了吗 -当然 - Did you lie to Howard about tonight? - Of course.
那你一点也不内疚吗 And you don't feel guilty about it?
夹在佩妮的大猩猩电影 Between Penny's gorilla movie
和华仔的大猩猩老妈之间 我别无选择啊 and Howard's gorilla mother, I had no choice.
幸好我和佩妮一直是坦诚相对 Thankfully Penny and I have a relationship based on honesty.
怎么了 我可从来不骗她 What? I don't lie to her.
我们知道你是没有骗她啦 Oh, we know you don't lie to her.
谢了 Thank you.
没准你未来课题的答案 Hey, maybe the answer to your career question
就在这些幸运饼干里呢 is in one of these.
佩妮 世上只有一种饼干 Penny, there's only one cookie with something
中间夹有能解除人生烦恼的东西 in the middle that solves life's problems,
它的名字叫奥利奥 and that's an Oreo.
必要时 花生甜饼也可以 Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.
拜托 打开看看嘛 里面肯定有什么好话 Come on, open it. I bet it says something great.
我们身在一家亚洲杂烩馆 This is Asian fusion.
搞不好里面跳出来个小吉娃娃呢 For all you know, there's a tiny Chihuahua in here.
算了 我先打开吧 Fine, I'll go.
"周围的人都求助于你的智慧和开导" "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom."
这话不错 Yeah, that's a good one.
不错才怪 No, it's not.
这有什么奇怪的 How is that not good?
"求助于你的智慧" "Turn to you for wisdom"?
这饼干明显是在讽刺你 Clearly, that cookie is mocking you.
花生甜饼就从来不会对人这么无礼 You'd never hear that kind of sass from a Nutter Butter.
看在这顿饭钱是你付的份上 我就不计较了 Uh, since you're paying for dinner, I'll let that slide.
看看你的吧 Open yours.
你有曾经自己付过饭钱吗 Have you ever paid for a meal?
没用钱付过 快念 Not with money. Read.
"你温暖又欢乐的气质感染了身边的人" "Your warm and fun-loving nature delights those around you."
不准 下一个 Oh, try again.
我们来理一理 Let me get this straight.
他杀了那女孩的亲爹 So, he kills this girl's father,
剥下他的脸皮 cuts off the guy's face,
把它戴在脸上 and is wearing it as a mask
和那女孩亲热 while he makes out with her.
有句话我不得不说 I'm just gonna say it.
这样做是不对的 That's not okay.
我怎么就找不到 Why can't I be in a relationship
一个喜欢看《音乐之声》的妹子谈恋爱呢 with a girl who likes The Sound of Music?
拉杰 你就是这段恋爱里 Raj, you are the girl in the relationship
那个喜欢看《音乐之声》的妹子 who likes The Sound of Music.
佩妮 什么事 Hey, Penny. What's up?
不 妮妮今天在加班呢 No, Bernie's working late.
真的吗 Really?
谢谢你告诉我这事 Thanks for telling me.
怎么了 What?
本大爷今晚要和天主教女学生滚床单啦 I'm having sex with a Catholic schoolgirl tonight.
我找到下一站的目的地啦 Oh, I think I see our next stop.
你在开玩笑吧 You can't be serious.
如果我想用无聊事打发时间 If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense,
我早就去关注莱纳德的随手拍了 I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.
拜托 今晚我们不是要尝试新事物吗 No, come on-- tonight, we are trying new things.
好浓的焚香味啊 Oh! That's a lot of incense.
要不就是谁把嬉皮士点着了 Or someone set a hippie on fire.
亲爱的 我还在加班呢 Yeah, honey, I'm still stuck at work.
真的吗 Really?
佩妮告诉你了 Penny said that?
好吧 是真的 对不起啦 Okay, it's true. I'm sorry.
我马上就回家 I'll see you at home.
好吧好吧 我穿就是了 Yeah, yeah, I'll put it on.
我俩还从来没单独出来玩过呢 You and I never just hang out like this.
为什么呢 Why is that?
-我懂 真奇怪对不对 -对 - I know, it's weird, right? - Yeah.
我们该多出来玩一玩 We should do it more often.
不 我是说 现在这样感觉很奇怪 Oh, no. I mean, this is weird right now.
是佩妮发的 Ah, it's Penny.
她还在生气吗 Is she still mad?
貌似没生气了 Oh, doesn't seem like it.
她把谢尔顿带去见算命师了 She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.
算命师 A psychic?
他觉得算命师不光是狗屁不通 He considers them not just mumbo jumbo,
还是最狗屁不通的狗屁不通 but extra-jumbo mumbo jumbo.
佩妮挺会说服人的 Well, Penny can be pretty persuasive.
她让我做了好多平时不会做的事 She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do.
那是因为她让你跟她上床 Because she has sex with you.
这是真的 Yeah, she does.
我可以坦白一件事吗 Can I confess something?
有时候 我有点小嫉妒 Once in a while, I get a little jealous
佩妮和谢尔顿之间关系这么好 of how close Penny and Sheldon are.
真的吗 Really?
我知道他们不是暧昧 I mean, not in a romantic way.
只是 她跟谢尔顿互相颇有默契 It's just, she really has some sort of connection with him.
这个嘛 他们认识已经很久了 Well... Well, they've known each other a long time,
而且佩妮从小和马一起长大 and Penny grew up around horses,
所以她懂得如何靠近又不吓到他 so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish.
你不要误解了 我很高兴他们关系好 Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they're friends.
我只是希望他在我身边也能那么放松 I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already.
他也是花了很长时间 才能在我身边那么放松 Well, it took him a long time to get comfortable around me, too.
真的吗 你做了什么 Really? What did you do?
上辈子作恶太多吧 我也不清楚 Something terrible in a former life? I don't know.
我得走了 I gotta go.
佩妮把我出卖了 Penny ratted me out.
对了 你生日她准备送你手表 FYI, she's getting you a watch for your birthday
钱是从你钱包里拿的 with money she took out of your wallet.
我不是有意这么无礼粗鲁 I don't mean to be rude or discourteous,
但在开始前 我想说 but before we begin, I'd just like to say
绝对没有任何科学证据 there is absolutely no scientific evidence
支持任何形式的灵力 to support clairvoyance of any kind.
就是说 Which means--
再说一遍 我不是故意无礼 and again, no insult intended--
但你是个骗子 but you're a fraud...
你的职业是骗局 ...your profession is a swindle,
你的生计取决于 and, uh, your livelihood is dependent
愚蠢人类的轻易受骗程度 on the gullibility of stupid people.
再说一遍 我无意冒犯 Again, no offense.
谢尔顿 问她问题吧 All right, Sheldon, just ask your question.
我刚问了 是什么问题 Okay, I just did. What was it?
我的天 Oh, for God's sake.
他是个物理学家 他想弄清楚 Look, he's a physicist who's trying to figure out
他下一个研究领域是什么 what his next field of study should be.
我得告诉你 For your information,
我问的是下一部《星际迷航》的电影 I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.
我可以回答 《星际迷航之我会无聊死》 Okay, I can answer that one: I'll be bored.
好了 我们开始吧 All right, why don't we begin?
你的灵魂向导告诉我 Your spirit guides are telling me that
你生活中有一位女性 你俩之间有问题存在 there's a woman in your life you're having problems with.
这也太好猜了吧 That's an easy guess.
我一看就是个烦人精 I'm clearly an annoying person
无论男女都看我不爽 and have problems with both genders.
是的 你明显是 Yes, you clearly are.
但我看到一位特定的女性 But I'm seeing a specific woman
你们俩是恋爱关系 that you're in a romantic relationship with.
说到点子上了 Oh, oh, here we go.
她是深色头发吗 Does she have dark hair?
是的 你的灵魂向导太牛逼了 Yes! Yes! Your spirit guides are on fire!
大多数人类都是深色头发 The majority of people have dark hair.
你也曾经有过 Even you, at one time.
她的工作领域和你类似吗 Does she work in a similar field to you?
错了吧 正相反 Ha! The opposite.
她是神经生物学家 我是理论物理学家 She's a neurobiologist, and I'm a theoretical physicist.
我的灵魂向导可以一边玩蛋去了 My spirit guides can go suck an egg.
你的灵魂向导告诉我 They're telling me that
你在与她亲近方面有问题 you have difficulty being close with her.
是的 太对了 Oh, he does. He so does.
他应该怎么做 What should he do?
他应该全心投入到这段感情中 He should give himself to this relationship.
一旦全心投入 Once he does,
其它的所有追求 都会拨云见日 all his other pursuits will come into focus.
谢尔顿 听到了吗 Sheldon, do you hear that?
艾米是你幸福的关键 I mean, Amy is the key to your happiness.
正是 Exactly.
个人生活和职业上都是 Personally and professionally.
一旦你对她全心投入 一切都会走上正轨 Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.
你知道这算什么吗 You know what this is?
这个词不到万不得已 Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances
我是不会说的 when it's truly deserved.
放你妈个屁 This is malarkey!
你真是戳到他的痛处了 Wow, you really struck a nerve.
我以前从没听他骂过那个"妈"字 I've never heard him use the "M" word before.
开始了 Here we go:
《千尸屋》 House of a 1,000 Corpses.
告诉你 Now, just so you know,
我做过三年保姆 如果你害怕 I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared,
我可以帮你换吓尿的纸尿裤 I can totally change your diaper.
我必须跟你说件事 Actually, I have to tell you something.
这类电影我实在是不喜欢 These kind of movies really aren't my thing,
所以昨晚我看了 so, last night, I watched it
为了提前给自己做点心理准备 just to see what I was getting myself into.
好的 Okay.
我得说实话 And I have to be honest--
我觉得这电影让人心里发毛 感觉怪异 I thought it was disturbing and weird,
让我不禁怀疑 怎么会有人喜欢看这种电影呢 and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it.
我也怀疑 I wonder that, too.
那你为什么看这种电影 Then, why do you watch these things?
我跟你说件事 你别戴有色眼镜看我好吗 Can I tell you something without you judging me?
好的 Sure.
这类电影让我性趣盎然 They kind of turn me on.
马上播放 And play.
你好 Hello.
我没想到今晚你会来 I didn't expect you this evening.
那晚对你说谎 Well, I was just feeling so bad
我好内疚 about lying to you the other night,
我想补偿你 I wanted to make it up to you.
你打算怎么补偿 And how do you propose to do that?
除非你裙子下面有《地心引力》的蓝光碟 Unless you have Gravity on Blu-ray under that skirt,
不然我实在不知道你在闹哪样 I don't know where you're going with this.