《生活大爆炸》前情提要 Previously on The Big Bang Theory.
我们担心你 We were worried about you.
别这么夸张 Don't be melodramatic.
我只是准备登上火车 永远离开 I'm just getting on a train and leaving forever.
生活中有几件事不如你意 So a few things don't go your way
你就决定 and your best decision
像个流浪汉般坐火车远走高飞吗 is to ride the rails like a hobo?
莱纳德 我不知所措 Leonard, I am overwhelmed.
一切都在改变 Everything is changing,
多到让人无法接受 and it's simply too much.
我需要离开 好好想想 I need to get away and think.
谢尔顿 Sheldon...
什么事 Yes?
我会想你的 I'm gonna miss you.
这不废话吗 Of course you are.
慢走不送 You just made that easier.
45天后
打扰一下 Excuse me.
有没有可能 Is it at all possible
你现在打的是毛线裤呢 that you're knitting a pair of pants?
别走 你感到害怕是可以理解的 Oh, well, no, you're understandably terrified.
但请给我个机会解释 But, you know, allow me to explain.
45天前 我开启了一段 45 days ago, um, I embarked on
心灵疗伤铁路之旅 a railroad journey of healing
因为当时我的大学 because my university
逼我研究弦理论 was making me do string theory,
而我最喜爱的漫画店发生了火灾 and my favorite comic book store burned down,
我的室友还订婚了 and when my roommate got engaged,
而我女朋友想搬进来跟我同居 my girlfriend wanted to move in with me,
而那明显是幌子 她的目的... which was no doubt a ploy just to see my--
抱歉失礼了 是染指我小裤裤里的东西 well, excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts.
先生 能借用一下电话吗 Uh, sir, may I use your phone?
-恐怕不能 -好吧 - I don't think so. - Yeah, well,
我知道我现在是半裸的 I understand that I'm half naked,
但是我有个合理的解释 but there is a reasonable explanation.
我在火车卧铺上睡觉时 While I slept in my sleeper car,
东西全被偷走了 all my possessions were stolen.
通常来说 我都会穿睡裤 Now, typically, I wear pajamas,
但最近我习惯了流浪汉的生活方式 but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle
而睡裤是普通人穿来睡觉的 and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the man.
我告诉你 圣雄甘地也没穿裤子 I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants
全印度还不是团结起来支持他 and a nation rallied behind him!
老兄 My good man...
在你走之前 Now, before you walk away...
我想说我可能看起来像疯子 I know that I may appear deranged,
但其实我是一个世界闻名的物理学家 but I am, in fact, a world-renowned physicist.
不信你问我玻色子跟费米子的差异 Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion.
来啊 你问吧 Go ahead, ask!
玻色子自旋为整数 Bosons have integer spin,
费米子自旋为半整数 fermions have half-integer spin!
我的腿好冷 My legs are getting cold!
为什么没人帮帮我呢 Why won't anybody help me?
生
活
大
爆
炸
第八季 第一集
早安 Morning.
想跟我一起做瑜伽吗 Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
让我先喝杯咖啡 Um, let me just have some coffee first,
我才有力气告诉你 and then I'll have the strength to tell you
我超级不想做瑜伽 how much I won't be doing that.
你好 Hello?
莱纳德 是我 Hello, Leonard.
兄弟 很高兴又听到你的声音 Hey, buddy. Good to hear your voice.
我在亚利桑那州的金曼 Uh, I'm in Kingman, Arizona,
我需要你来接我一趟 and, uh, I need you to come pick me up.
我很乐意 I'd love to.
可是我得跟佩妮一起做瑜伽 I'm just about to do yoga with Penny.
莱纳德 我在警局里 Leonard, I'm at the police station.
我被人洗劫一空 I was robbed.
他们拿走了我手机 Th-They took my phone,
我的皮包 我的iPad 全被偷了 my wallet, my iPad, everything.
天啊 你没事吧 Oh, my God, are you okay?
当然有事 No, I'm not okay.
我穿着借来的裤子 I-I'm wearing borrowed pants,
身上也没证件 I-I don't have I.D.,
而这里其中一个警察 and one of the officers here
一直叫我小鸡脚 won't stop calling me Chicken Legs.
好吧 Okay.
我来接你 Uh, I'll-I'll come get you.
地址呢 What's the address?
怎么了 Hey, what's going on?
他的东西全被偷了 He got all of his stuff stolen.
好的 Okay...
快来 Hurry.
谢尔顿 撑住 Sheldon, hang tight.
你还需要我带什么东西给你吗 Hey, do you want me to bring anything?
拜托你了 Oh, yes, please.
带条裤子 A pair of pants.
我的牙刷 And my toothbrush.
我的信 Yeah, and my mail.
还有帮我想怎么回敬人家笑我小鸡脚 And a really good comeback for chicken legs,
因为我回他"你才是小鸡腿 你们全家都是小鸡腿" because "I know you are, but what am I?"
他只无语藐视我 was met with stony silence.
我会尽快过来 I'll be there as soon as I can.
他没事吧 Is he okay?
人是没事 就是有点吓着了吧 Yeah, he's fine, he's just a little rattled.
有兴趣陪我一起开车去亚利桑那吗 Oh... Feel like driving to Arizona with me?
不行 我得去面试呢 I can't, I have that job interview.
对哦 而且 Oh, right. Besides,
我也不想听六个小时的"你的发型变了 I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different.
你为什么换发型了 Why did you change your hair?
我要憋住呼吸到你头发长出来为止" I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."
好吧 行 All right, fine.
你能想到我不应该 Hey, can you think of a reason
-邀请艾米跟我一起来的理由吗 -没有 - I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me? - Nope.
靠 你想都没帮忙想 Come on, you didn't even try.
谢谢你来接我 Thanks for the lift.
你的车怎么了 What's wrong with your car?
我把车送去弄掉防晒膜了 I'm having my windows untinted.
为什么 Why?
现在有个辣妹女友 Got a hot girlfriend now.
得秀给嫉妒的屌丝们看看啊 I want the haters to know.
你在瞎说什么啊 What are you talking about?
才没人会鸟你咧 No one's paying attention to you.
嫉妒水的滋味可好 兄弟 How's that Hater-ade taste, bro?
这不是上班的路啊 Hey, this isn't the way to work.
我想经过我妈家 看看她好不好 I just want to pop in and make sure Ma's okay.
斯图尔特不是在照顾她吗 I thought Stuart was looking after her.
本来是 我妈石膏拆了后 他就搬了 He was, but now that her cast is off, he moved out.
老实说 我挺高兴的 And honestly, I'm kind of glad.
他们俩后来有点怪怪的 It was getting a little weird.
怎么怪 How so?
我不会说 他们... I don't know, they're...
很亲密 chummy.
像我们这样吗 Like us?
不 跟我们不一样 No, not like us.
是恶心的那种亲密 Creepy chummy,
就像你和你的狗 like you and your dog.
你妈妈亲自用嘴给他喂食吗 She feeds him out of her own mouth?
我是说 他叫我妈黛比 I mean, he calls her Debbie,
我妈叫他图仔 she calls him Stewie
他们整天两个人黏一起傻笑 and they're all giggly around each other.
相信我 任何食物只要一到我妈嘴里 And believe me, when food goes in that mouth,
就只进不出了 it does not come out.
所以你是担心 So are you worried
他要取代你儿子的位置 because he's replacing you as a son
还是担心他会成为你妈妈的情人 or are you worried because he's becoming her lover?
首先没人能取代我儿子的位置 First of all, no one can replace me as a son.
我是我妈的宝贝小汤丸 I'm her little matzo ball.
其次 我妈这么大年纪 And secondly, my mother is well past
早就跟性生活无缘了 having any kind of sex life.
好吧 Okay, okay.
其实有很多老年女性仍过着活力四射的... Although many older women lead vibrant, active...
我说无缘就是无缘 I said well past it!
请问一下 赫尔南德斯警官 Excuse me, Officer Hernandez?
有任何偷我东西的贼的线索了吗 Any leads on the person who stole my belongings?
还没 Not yet.
或许我可以帮忙 Well, perhaps I can help.
神探福尔摩斯曾说过 Sherlock Holmes always says
排除所有不可能因素 when you eliminate the impossible,
剩下的即使再不合理 whatever remains, however improbable,
必然是事实的真相 must be the truth.
你试过这么做吗 Now, have-have you tried doing that?
没有 Nope.
或许你该试试 Well, maybe you should.
世上有很多叫《神探福尔摩斯》的书 Th-Th-There's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes"
而却没有一本叫《神警赫尔南德斯》 and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."
谢谢你来陪我 Thanks again for coming.
我一个人开六个小时的车实在太漫长了 Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself.
我的荣幸 My pleasure.
而且我一点也不气 And I'm not angry at all
我男朋友落难时 居然打给你而不是我 that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me.
真是太好了 I love that!
好吧 这六小时一定过得"飞快" Yeah, time's gonna fly by.
我好几年没去面试了 I haven't been on a job interview in years.
我真的好紧张 I'm really nervous.
别紧张 Don't be.
你天生就是干医药销售这行的 You are built for pharmaceutical sales.
你可爱 轻浮而且... You're cute, you're flirty and...
本来以为会有三个优点说呢... Started that like there were gonna be three things.
我没有任何销售经验 I don't have any experience in sales.
除非我在高中时穿着比基尼洗车也算 Unless you count the bikini car wash I did in high school.
但你叫我把这段从我简历上删掉了 But you already made me take that off my resume?
这份工作其实跟服务生很像 This job is a lot like being a waitress,
只不过你不是给客人推销 except instead of pushing the fish tacos
快变质的鱼肉玉米卷 'cause they're about to go bad,
你是推销我们的抗抑郁药 you're just pushing our antidepressants
FDA 美国食品及药物管理局
在FDA发现这药能引起直肠出血之前赶紧卖掉 before the FDA finds out they may cause rectal bleeding.
是真的吗 They do?
或许吧 Maybe.
但就像我们律师说的 这世界上有很多东西 But like our lawyers say, the world is full of things
能导致直肠出血 that can cause a rectum to bleed.
我在丹面前帮你说了不少好话 Anyway, I talked you up to Dan.
他就是面试你的那个人 He's the guy who'll be interviewing you.
真是太谢谢你了 Oh, I really appreciate this.
我只希望我到时不会手足无措 I just hope I'm not in over my head.
没事的 就跟平时一样表现自己 You'll be fine. Just be yourself.
-我真希望我能多点自信 -佩妮 - I wish I felt more confident. - Penny,
如果我觉得你不能胜任这份工作 I wouldn't have put you up for this job
我就不会推荐你 if I didn't think you could handle it.
谢谢 但或许我该取消面试 Oh, thank you, but maybe I should cancel.
现在取消太晚了 你一定要去 It's too late to cancel. You're going.
但我对医药没有任何了解 But I don't know anything about pharmaceuticals.
我明白了 Oh, I understand.
你想从事你擅长的工作 You want to do something you're already good at.
我懂 I know.
那我何不帮你在 Why don't I get you a job at
"穿着瑜伽裤宅在家工厂"找一份工作呢 the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
那裤子真的很舒服嘛 They're comfortable.
妈 把衣服穿好 拉杰也在哦 Ma, I hope you're decent. Raj is here!
你最近才开始重新看见女人裸体 You just started seeing naked women again,
我不想让你对咪咪 and I don't want you to be confused
到底该垂到哪儿感到困惑 about where the boobs should be.
你们好啊 Oh, hey, guys.
你们怎么会来这里 What are you doing here?
那你又怎么在这里 Uh... w-what are you doing here?
我以为你搬出去了 I thought you moved out.
我本来打算搬的 Oh, yeah, I was going to,
但某天晚上 我和黛比 and then Debbie and I got to talking
在吃饭时聊到这事 over dinner the other night.
我没有住的地方 I didn't have anyplace to go,
她也喜欢我待在这里 she likes having me around,
所以我俩异口同声说"那为什么还要搬" so we both said, "Why leave?" at the same time.
无比珍贵的一段回忆啊 It was precious.
也没那么珍贵吧 It's not that precious.
我本来想支持你的 I'd like to back you up,
但听起来的确弥足珍贵 but it sounds like it was pretty precious.
图仔 我找不到眼镜了 Stewie, I can't find my glasses!
马上来 小黛黛 Be right there, Deb Deb!
眼镜可能就在她头上 They're probably on her head.
或者在她脖子的肉里 听着 Or in her neck. Listen.
你留在这里住这件事 You staying here seems like something
她应该会跟我说一声啊 she would've talked to me about.
如果你经常给你母亲打电话 你早知道了 Well, maybe if you called your mother more often, you'd know.
打电话回家又不会少块肉 It wouldn't kill you to pick up the phone.
我被偷的物品有消息了吗 Any word on my stolen items?
我们在尽一切努力帮你找 We're doing everything we can.
神探福尔摩斯 You know, Sherlock Holmes
喜欢用可卡因来让自己集中注意力 liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus.
但我确定膨化垃圾食品对你也有同样功效 But I'm sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick.
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
莱纳德 Leonard!
见到你我太高兴了 Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
-你没事吧 -没事 - Are you okay? - Oh, I'm fine.
你怎么来了 Why did you come?
你这话什么意思 What do you mean, why did I come?
你是我的男朋友 You're my boyfriend.
我们超过一个月没有见面了 I haven't seen you in over a month.
我开了六个小时的车过来接你 I just drove six hours to help you out.
你除了说"你怎么来了" Don't you have anything to say besides,
就没别的话跟我说了吗 "Why did you come?"
有是有 但... I do, but...
在这么多警察叔叔面前大声说出来 I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud
我觉得不太妥 in front of these police officers.
好 Fine.
悄悄告诉我 Whisper it.
我要坐前排[猎枪] Shotgun.
谢尔顿 跟我们说说你这段旅程吧 So, Sheldon, tell us about your trip.
你都去了哪儿啊 Where'd you go?
我哪儿都去了 Where didn't I go?
纽约 芝加哥 I went to New York, Chicago,
亚特兰大 丹佛 西雅图 Atlanta, Denver, Seattle.
好玩吗 How were they?
我不知道 Oh, I have no idea.
我从未出过火车站 I never left the train station.
等等 你跨越了整个美国 Hang on. You traveled across the entire country
却从未出过火车站吗 and never left a train station?
干嘛要出站 Why would I?
我喜欢的火车都在车站里啊 That's where all the cool trains are.
那你从来没到外面玩过吗 I'm sorry, so you never went outside?
也没吃过一片水果 Or had a single piece of fruit.
所以 So...
你觉得自己为什么 why do you think you'd make
能够胜任医药销售代表的工作呢 a good pharmaceutical sales rep?
我是个善于和人交际的人 Well, I'm a people person.
人见人爱 People like me.
我喜欢的人里好多都是人 Some of my favorite people are people.
我好像提太多"人"这个字了 I feel like I'm saying "people" a lot.
人 人类 人民 人...好我说完了 People, people, people, pe... Okay, I'm done.
你确定吗 You sure?
人人 说完了 People. Yes.
好吧 Good!
你觉得你上一份工作 So, how do you feel your previous job experience
对这个销售职业有何帮助呢 has prepared you for a career like this?
作为服务员 我的工作很大一部分就是推销 Uh, well, as a waitress, sales was a big part of my job.
相信我 我说服了很多 I mean, believe me, I convinced a lot of very large customers,
不该吃芝士蛋糕的胖子顾客 who should not be eating cheesecake,
狂吃我们的芝士蛋糕 to have more cheesecake.
而且 I mean,
其中某个胖胖还带着胰岛素泵呢 one of those chubsters even had an insulin pump!
我也有胰岛素泵[糖尿病] I have an insulin pump.
人嘛 People.
感觉很怪吧 It's weird, right?
30多岁的成年人还跟我妈住在一起 A grown man in his 30s living with my mother.
的确很奇怪 That is weird.
我以为他都45岁了 I thought he was, like, 45.
拜托 你难道不觉得这很奇怪吗 Come on, you don't think it's a little odd?
我不知道 她那么孤单 I don't know! I mean, she's lonely.
他又需要地方住 He needs a place to stay.
我想他们之间肯定没什么 I doubt there's any funny business going on.
就算有 那又怎样 And even if there was, who cares?
他们都是成年人了 They're both adults.
"那又怎样" 要是我和你妈睡了 "Who cares"?! You wouldn't care
你也不会觉得怎么样吗 if I slept with your mom?
知道吗 你是我的好基友 You know what? You're my best friend,
我妈婚姻不幸福 and she's in a bad marriage.
我祝福你们 I give you my blessing.
这样做太傻了 This is stupid.
我还是打电话给我妈 告诉她实话 I'm just gonna call my mother and be honest with her.
这才是宝贝小汤丸该做的事 'Cause that's what little matzo balls do.
我是黛比 This is Debbie!
我是斯图尔特 And this is Stuart!
开玩笑啦 Just kidding!
给我们留言哦 Leave a message!
该轮到你说话了 This is the part where you talk.
假设有个医生本来开的是 All right, let's say a physician was prescribing
我们竞争对手的药 one of our competitor's drugs.
你要如何说服他转用我们的药呢 How would you convince them to switch to ours?
他有可能需要比基尼女郎帮他洗车吗 Any chance his car needs to be washed by a girl in a bikini?
不 No...
对不起 浪费了你的时间 Okay, I'm really sorry for wasting your time.
别担心 谢谢你过来面试 Don't worry about it. Thanks for stopping by.
好吧 谢谢 Okay, thanks.
抱歉 你能帮我个忙吗 Um, I'm sor... listen, could you do me a favor
不要告诉伯纳黛特我面试情况有多差 and not tell Bernadette how badly I blew this interview?
她肯定会生气 She'll get upset.
老实说 我真有点怕她 And honestly I'm a... a little terrified of her.
等一下 你害怕伯纳黛特 Wait, wait. You're scared of Bernadette?
有那么一点 Yeah, kind of.
我以为只有我怕她呢 I thought it was just me!
每个人都觉得她特好 E-Everyone thinks she's so nice
说话声音细细的尖尖的 with that squeaky little voice.
我懂 可她其实是个恶霸 I know, but she's kind of a bully!
没有错 She is!
我本来不想见你的 I-I didn't even want to meet you,
可我不敢开口拒绝她 but, uh, I was too scared to say no to her.
我也是 Me, too!
对吧 对吧 有一次 我... Yeah, yeah! One-one time, I had...
我本来要告诉她 Oh! I had to tell her
我们要削减她正在研发的 we were cutting the-the research funding
某种药剂的经费 for one of the drugs she was developing.
结果呢 What happened?
我根本开不了口 I couldn't do it!
她现在还在研究呢 She's still working on it!
这件事你不会说出去吧 We're not gonna tell her about this, right?
-我的天 当然不会 -绝不 - Oh, my God, no! - No, no...
丹佛车站的热狗摊 用的是 At the hot dog stand in the Denver train station--
亨氏番茄酱 Heinz ketchup.
盐湖城车站的热狗摊 用的是 At the hot dog stand in the Salt Lake City train station--
亨氏番茄酱 Heinz ketchup.
那印第安纳波利斯车站的热狗摊子 用的是 At the hot dog stand in the Indianapolis train station...
我不在乎 I don't care.
答错了 是汉斯番茄酱 Wrong! Hunt's!
艾米 你觉得如何 Hey, Amy! What do you say?
准备好玩猜芥末酱的游戏了吗 You ready to move on to the mustard round?
你难道没觉察到我这两个小时 Have you not noticed that I've been sitting back here
一直默默地坐在后面吗 quietly stewing for the past two hours?
我以为你只是很不会猜呢 I just thought you were bad at the game.
我是在生你的气 I'm mad at you!
你怎么能就这样 How could you just go away like that
不告而别地走掉 without even saying good-bye,
然后打电话给莱纳德求助 却不来找我 and then call Leonard for help instead of me?
艾米 Amy?
可以让我和我的室友 May I please have a moment of privacy
说几句悄悄话吗 to speak with my roommate?
我们可是在飞驰的车上 We're in a moving car!
你想要我怎么做 What do you expect me to do?
用手指塞住耳朵吗 Stick my fingers in my ears?
我是打算让你像狗一样把头伸出窗外 Well, I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog,
但塞耳朵也行啦 but that'll work.
拜托了 很快就好 Please? This'll be quick.
莱纳德 Leonard?
我们一到家 As soon as we get home,
我就要和艾米发生性关系 I want to have coitus with Amy.
好的 看来她是听不到 Okay, she can't hear.
我之所以打电话给你 The reason I called you
是因为我不想艾米知道 is because I didn't want Amy
我无法在外独立生存 to know I couldn't make it on my own.
这有什么 What's the big deal?
当然这对你来说不算什么 Oh, of course it's no big deal to you.
你视我为偶像 你把我供在神台上 You idolize me, and nothing could ever knock me
没什么可以让我从神台上下来 off that pedestal you put me on.
没错 Well, yeah, it's true.
你对我是神一般的存在 You-you are a god to me.
我可以听了吗 Can I stop now?
告诉她吧 Just tell her.
我打电话给莱纳德是因为 I called Leonard because...
我失败了 I failed.
我不希望你因此轻视我 And I didn't want you to think less of me.
你是担心这个吗 You were worried about that?
是的 Yes.
谢尔顿 Sheldon...
你并不完美的事实 我是可以接受的 it's okay with me that you're not perfect.
我能再和莱纳德说句悄悄话吗 Can I have one more moment with Leonard?
好的 Sure.
艾米伤了我的心 我要和她分手 Amy just hurt my feelings. I want to break up with her.
我没想过我会这样说 Now, I never thought I'd say this,
但能见到谢尔顿了 我还有些小激动呢 but I'm kind of excited to see Sheldon.
我没想过我会这样说 但佩妮今天找到工作了 I never thought I'd say this, but Penny got a job today.
是吗 She did?
她成功的唯一原因 Well, the only reason she got it
是因为面试她的人爱慕我 is 'cause the guy who interviewed her loves me.
你想怎样 What do you want?
我大概感觉到 I, uh, kind of got the feeling
你对我住在你妈家有意见 you might not be okay with me staying at your mom's.
你说得对 我有意见 You're right, I'm not.
我觉得很奇怪 I think it's weird.
华仔 Howie?
本来就是 他是个成年男人 It is. He's a grown man.
他就这样不交房租住下去吗 He's just gonna live there rent-free?
这样如何让他有动力 How is that gonna motivate him
不再懒惰 去找工作 to get off his butt and get a job?
你有人生计划吗 I mean, do you even have a plan?
你又不是我爹 你管我 Hey, you're not my father, okay?
而且 你妈和我谈过了 And besides, your mother and I were talking...
"你妈和我" 你又不是我爹 "Your mother and I"? You're not my father!
-我没说我是你爹 -我也没说 - I didn't say I was your father! - Well, I didn't say
-我是你爹 -好啦 冷静 - I was your father! - Okay, calm down.
你不是他爹 他不是你爹 You're not his father, he's not your father!
谁也不是谁的爹 Nobody's anybody's father.
你看不惯我的人生选择我很遗憾 I-I'm sorry you don't like my life choices,
但这是我的人生 but it's my life!
住我的房 就得守我的规矩 Well, it's my house, it's my rules!
好吧 爹 Okay, Dad!
如果我修剪了草坪 可以给我零花钱吗 If I mow the lawn, can I have my allowance?
不准用这种挖苦的语气和他说话 Hey, don't you take that sarcastic tone with him!
我不用听你教训我 I don't have to listen to you!
别这样跟她说话 Don't talk to her like that!
这是我老妈 老婆 That is my mother... Wife!
老婆 我说的是老婆 My wife! I said my wife!
算了 You know what?
这样谈不会有结果的 This isn't getting us anywhere.
你准备好道歉时 知道在哪里找我 When you're ready to apologize, you know where to find me.
知道 我的家 Well, yeah, in my house!
没错 小婊砸 That's right, sucka!
要是我没去旅行就好了 I wish I'd never gone on that trip.
现在比起离开时 心情一点也没好转 I feel no better now than when I left.
但你还是有所成就的 But you still accomplished something.
是的 如果你告诉任何人 Yeah. If you had told anyone
你打算坐火车周游全国 that you were going away on a train by yourself across the country,
你知道人家会怎么说吗 do you know what they would have said?
-我做不到吗 -太对了 - That I couldn't do it? - Exactly.
不过他们先会欢呼一下 Right after they said, "Yay!"
但你做到了 But you did do it.
事情没有完全如你所愿又如何 So what if it didn't all go your way?
这样才是冒险啊 That's what makes it an adventure.
有道理 That's a good point.
我很像灰袍甘道夫 Yeah, I'm a lot like Gandalf the Grey.
他与炎魔战斗 He fought the Balrog and emerged
成为了更强大的白袍甘道夫 stronger than ever as Gandalf the White.
我的电话和裤子被抢了 I was robbed of my phone and pants,
我回来时变得更强大了 and I, too, came back stronger.
也更白了 And whiter, too,
因为我六周没有晒过太阳了 'cause I wasn't in direct sunlight for six weeks.
你瞧 这次旅行对你有好处 See? This trip was good for you.
的确 Indeed.
我是全世界最聪明的毛毛虫 I was the world's smartest caterpillar.
在咱们国家铁路网上化蛹后 And then after pupating in our nation's railway system,
我破茧而出 I've burst forth
变成了全世界最聪明的蝴蝶 as the world's smartest butterfly.
蝴蝶可以自己从亚利桑那州飞回家 Butterfly could've gotten himself home from Arizona.
我感觉重生了 Yeah, I feel renewed.
我准备好面对未来一切的改变 I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way.
看谁回来了 Look who's back!
你的发型不同了 你换了发型 Your hair is different. You changed your hair.
我接受无能 我走人了 I can't take this. I'm out.
你们想看看我旅行时的照片吗 Would you like to see pictures from my trip?
你的电话不是被偷了吗 I thought your phone got stolen.
是的 但幸运的是所有照片 Yeah, it did, but luckily all my photos
都在云端备份了 got backed up to the Cloud.
原以为守得云开见月明 And you thought they all had a silver lining.
看 第一天 Here-- day one.
这个是我本来要坐的座位 Uh, this was the seat I was going to sit
但我没坐 in but didn't
因为上面有饼干屑 because there were cracker crumbs on it.
因为是一等座 我怀疑是乐之饼干 As it was first class, I suspect Ritz.
这是火车上的厕所 This is the train bathroom.
这是我吃的泻立停 This is the Imodium I took
这样我不必使用火车上的厕所 so I would never have to use the train bathroom.
我真不敢相信你游遍了全国 I cannot believe you traveled the entire country
却从没离开过火车站 and never left the train station.
就是啊 I know.
我差点在得梅因的火灾中丧生 You know, I almost died in a fire in Des Moines,
但我坚持留在火车上 but I stayed put.
顺便说下 FYI--
当时泻立停的药效过了 我吓屎了 that's when the Imodium gave out.