感觉来了挡都挡不住 I was unstoppable.
我是说 我当时整个小宇宙都爆发了 I mean, I was... I was on fire.
犹如进入身心合一之境 It was like my mind and my body were totally connected,
运动员们在进入状态时 估计就是这感觉 like-like athletes must feel when they're in the zone.
刚才只是打个迷你高尔夫好吗 Again, it was miniature golf.
承认被我迷到"性"致盎然了吧 Admit it, you're a little turned on.
你凭啥这么洋洋得意 You can't be this proud.
为什么不行 Why not?
因为你被我虐爆了 Because I beat you.
太好了 你们回来了 Oh, good. You're back.
我们有一件令人高兴的事宣布 We have some exciting news.
好吧 Okay.
你们也知道 我和艾米在一起挺久了 As you know, Amy and I have been together a long time,
很多我曾经以为不可能会发生的事 and a lot of things I never thought possible
现在看来也很有可能 now seem possible.
好的 Okay...
在谨慎地审视我们这段感情后 After a careful evaluation of our relationship,
我们觉得现在是时候了 we decided that the time was right to
我们想迈出下一步 take a step forward.
好的 Okay.
你想来宣布吗 Do you want to say it?
我们一起宣布吧 Let's say it together.
我们要养只乌龟 We're getting a turtle!
这就是为啥我说要保持有冰镇好的香槟 This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
-讽刺吗 -是的 - Sarcasm? - Yes.
好吧 Okay.
这题挺有难度 因为通常跟酒相关的事 That was tricky, 'cause when it comes to alcohol,
她都是说真的 从不开玩笑 she generally means business.
-我们很为你们感到高兴 -是的 - Well, we're-we're very happy for you. - Yes.
谢谢 Thank you.
一起养一只宠物对我们而言是件大事 Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.
这是真的 No. It's true.
这代表我们在乎对方到 It means that we care so much about each other,
还能有多余的关爱 分给一只200克的爬行动物 there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile.
为什么选乌龟 Why a turtle?
在一番深思熟虑过后 我们决定乌龟 After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle
是最理想的宠物 is the ideal pet.
他们不会掉毛 不会发出声音 They don't shed fur, they don't make noise...
万圣节时还能他把打扮成一颗鹅卵石 For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobblestone.
如果哪天他发狂 我肯定也跑得比他快 And if he ever goes berserk, I know I can outrun him.
而无独有偶的是 这也是我选你当室友的理由 Coincidentally, that's also why I chose you as a roommate.
恭喜恭喜 Well, congratulations.
谁会料到我们这帮人里 Who would've thought you two would be the first
你们是第一对有儿女的人呢 in our group to start a family?
我也这么说 That's what I said!
生
活
大
爆
炸
第八季 第十七集
你的室友今晚去哪了 So, where's your roommate tonight?
我觉得她总在这里碍事 Well, I thought it was a little unfair
对你挺不公平 that she's always here,
因为你从来没有机会在这里过夜 所以... and you never get a chance to stay over, so...
我把她杀了 I killed her.
还记得我们的约定吗 But remember our agreement?
你可以开你杀了人的玩笑 You can joke about murdering people,
但是你后面得说"开玩笑的啦" but you have to say, "just kidding."
而更不该忘的一条重要约定是 And the more important thing to remember is
我永远不会伤害你 that I'd never hurt you.
真倒霉 Oh, crap.
我得赶回医院一趟 察看一个病人 I have to run over to the hospital and check on a patient.
没关系 我可以晚点再来 That's okay. I can come back later.
不用 别傻了 No. No, don't be silly.
我不会去太久 就在这待着吧 I won't be gone long. Just stay here.
好 没问题 Okay, cool.
你确定我一个人在这待着时 Oh, and you're sure your roommate's not gonna come back
你的室友不会突然回来吧 while I'm here alone, right?
因为这样会很尴尬 'Cause that'll be awkward.
不用担心 她在棕榈泉 Oh, don't worry. She's in Palm Springs.
那就好 Oh, good.
她的躯干在那里 Well, her torso is.
开玩笑的啦 Just kidding.
我把她扔进碎木机了 I put her in a wood chipper.
我的老天 我的老天啊 Oh, dear Lord. Oh, dear Lord.
没事的 It's okay.
你撑过去了 没事啦 You made it. We're fine.
那也太多小狗了 That was a lot of puppies.
别管它们了 Let's forget about them, and...
来给我们选只乌龟吧 pick ourselves out a nice turtle.
你看这只在木头上的怎么样 Oh, how about this one up on the log?
我不知道 Oh, I don't know.
他看起来像个混蛋 He kind of looks like a jerk.
你看这只如何 How about this one?
那只不太动 感觉半死不活的 Well, he's barely moving. He looks half dead.
对啊 我也喜欢他 I know. I like him, too.
小家伙 Hi, little guy.
有兴趣跟我们一起回家吗 How'd you like to come home with us?
你会跟我一起住 You'll be living with me
因为我们不住在一个家里 because we don't live in the same house.
但这不是你的错 But that's not your fault.
我们像你一样 用超龟速发展这段感情 Like you, we're taking it ridiculously slow.
他去动漫展或上班时 你会跟我待在一起 You'll stay with me when he's at Comic-Con or away for work.
如果爸比去火星住的申请通过了 你也跟她住 Or if they accept Daddy's application to live on Mars.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
有一个公司 Oh, there's this company
他们想要在火星上设立一个殖民地 that's attempting to establish a colony on Mars,
我申请了当第一批移民 and I applied to be among the first to go.
我们该给他取什么名字呢 What should we name him?
本来在路上我还打算给他取"塞斯" 可是... You know, I came in thinking "Seth," but...
他长得像个意大利人 he kind of looks Italian.
你申请要成为 You applied for a mission
另一个行星的移民者 to be a colonist on another planet,
而你都没想过告诉我一声吗 and couldn't be bothered to tell me?
事先说你会同意吗 Would you have approved?
当然不会 Of course not.
从你的反应来看 Well, based on your reaction,
我做了正确的选择 it looks like I made the right choice.
对不对呀 朱塞佩[意大利名] Isn't that right, Giuseppe?
听着 我要跟你坦白件事 Listen, I-I have a little confession to make.
哎哟 客官第一次吗 Aw, is this your first time?
不是啦 我情人节给你买了份礼物 No, I got you something for Valentine's Day,
当时觉得太难为情没敢送给你 and I was too embarrassed to give it to you.
为什么 Well, why?
因为我是从"色色"用品店里买的 Well, 'cause I got it at the dirty store.
你居然去色色用品店不带我 You went to the dirty store without me?!
我特意戴了墨镜和帽子 还把车停在两条街外 In sunglasses and a hat after I parked two blocks away.
拿来 快给我拿来 Well, get it! Get it for me!
-真的想要吗 -真的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
好吧 我希望会好玩 Okay, uh, well, I hope it's fun.
因为这玩意配有颜料 I mean, it-it comes with paints, and-and
所以富有创造力和艺术性 it's kind of creative and artistic.
你是去了色色用品店还是"着色"用品店啊 Okay, did you go to the dirty store or Michaels?
不是 No, no.
我们把人体彩绘颜料涂身上 We cover ourselves in body paint,
然后在这张大画布上"办事" and then-then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.
哇 对于一个最近刚愿意做爱时 Whoa, that's kind of a big step for a guy
把袜子脱掉的男人来说 跨出了很大一步啊 who only recently agreed to take his socks off.
你在嘲笑我 算了吧 You're making fun of me. Forget it.
不 来嘛 我想试试 No! No, come on, I want to do it.
-真的吗 -对啊 - Really? - Yeah,
让我和你 let's you, me,
还有你那对白皙的脚丫子 一起创造艺术吧 and your very, very pale feet make some art.
对了 你下次去那家店的时候 我想跟你一起去 Hey, when you got back to this store, I want to go with you.
好啊 不过有点远 Okay, but it's a drive--
我去的那家在圣地亚哥 the one I went to is in San Diego.
剧中主角住在美国加州的帕萨迪纳
报税弄得怎么样了 How are the taxes going?
还行 Okay.
但你在乐高商店消费的发票真多 But you got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
那些都是业务支出 Those are business expenses.
你可以把那些冲销 You can write those off.
价值两百美元的R2-D2机器人也是业务支出吗 A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
妮妮 Oh, Bernie,
等我们被税务局审查时 你的语气得比现在 you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident
更自信才行 when we get audited.
怎么了 Hey, what's up?
艾米丽回医院了 Eh, Emily ran back to the hospital,
所以我在她家四处转转 so I'm just hanging out at her place.
你呢 你在干什么 What are you, uh, what are you doing?
我在打电动 妮妮在报税 Just playing video games while Bernie does the taxes.
你是三岁小孩吗 What are you, a little kid?
你老婆是不是还要帮你把晚餐切成小块呀 Is she gonna cut your dinner into little pieces, too?
不用啊 我吃果冻软糖就吃饱了 She doesn't have to-- I filled up on jelly beans.
那你在玩什么电动 So, uh, what game are you...
糟糕 Crap.
怎么了 What's wrong?
我合不上艾米丽的床头柜了 I can't get Emily's nightstand to close.
所以呢 So?
她就会发现我偷翻她的抽屉啊 She's gonna know I was looking in it.
那你为什么要看呢 Why were you looking in it?
这个问题 Well, there's a question
我最好在她回来之前想好答案 I better have a good answer to before she gets back.
好吧 冷静 Okay, calm down.
很可能抽屉里面有东西卡住了 There's probably something jammed behind it.
你把它拉出来 看看是什么 Just, uh, pull it out and see what's there.
等一下 Hang on.
完了 完了 Oh... no. Oh, no.
这下完蛋了 Oh, God, no!
你听起来很忙 那我就不打扰你啦 You know what, you sound busy-- I'm gonna let you go.
伙计 前面板整个都掉下来了 Dude, the whole front came off.
这下她肯定知道我在偷翻她东西 Now she's gonna know I was snooping.
发生什么事了 What's happening?
拉杰偷翻艾米丽的抽屉 结果弄坏了一个 Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one.
分手了我会想她的 I'm gonna miss her.
你觉得怎么样 So what do you think?
我还以为会更... I thought it'd be a little more...
多点 just more.
我都不懂我们为啥喘得上气不接下气 I'm not even sure why we were out of breath.
我是说 我们有移动过一丁点吗 Uh, I mean, d-did we move at all?
可能有顺着Z轴移动 Maybe along the z-axis,
但X轴和Y轴看了让人想落泪 but x and y are looking pretty sad.
拜托 我们不是又老又无趣的人 Okay, come on. We are not old boring people.
我们可以"做"得比这更好 We can do better than this.
你说得对 Uh, th-that's true.
昨晚我们熬夜到几点 How late did we stay up last night?
将近凌晨一点吧 Almost 1:00 a.M.
太对了 将近凌晨一点呢 Damn straight, almost 1:00 a.M.
而且我们不是在看电视 And we weren't even watching TV.
我们看的是视频网站 就像小年轻那样 We were watching Netflix, like the kids do.
是啊 看的是喜剧还是普通电视剧 Yeah, is it a comedy? Is it a drama?
谁知道啊 Nobody knows.
来吧 我们要卷土重"做" Now, come on. We are gonna do this.
好的 你去拿颜料 Yeah. You get the paint,
我休息个30到40分钟 I'll rest for 30-40 minutes,
然后我们大"干"一场 and then we do this!
真不敢相信你差点就让我把 I can't believe you almost had me bring
一只野动物带回家 a wild animal into my home.
没人让你去戳乌龟的脸 No one told you to poke the turtle's face.
我跟它玩"偷走你的鼻子"游戏 I was playing "Got Your Nose."
通常想让小孩喜欢你就这么玩 That's how you get children to like you.
我很惊讶你居然会在乎他会不会喜欢你 I'm surprised you even care if he likes you,
因为只要机会来了 你第一时间就会离开这星球 since you're planning on leaving the planet the first chance you get.
又来了 Ugh, this again.
艾米 我的身体今天已经被咬了一个洞了 Amy, I've already had one new hole torn in my body today.
心上不需要再多一个 I don't need another one.
谢尔顿 我知道 Sheldon, I know the odds of you
你去火星的几率非常渺茫 even going to Mars are incredibly small,
但是一想到你自愿申请会永远离开我的项目 but it still hurts that you would volunteer for something
我还是觉得很难过 that would take you away from me forever.
所以你是说如果你有机会 So you're saying you wouldn't leave me
成为移民另一个星球的第一批人类 for the chance to be one of the first humans
你也不会离开我吗 to colonize another planet?
我至少会在提交申请前 I would at least mention it
跟你提一下这个事 before filling out the application.
莱纳德 沃罗威茨 库萨帕里 Huh, that's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz, Koothrappali,
博纳黛特和佩妮也是这么说的 Bernadette and Penny said.
再说了 你怎么可能胜任 And who says you could even survive
这种太空任务呀 an interplanetary mission, anyway?
你被乌龟咬一下都差点挂了 You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.
首先 这个伤口 First of all, this...
只会让我变得更坚强 has only made me stronger.
再说了 我只不过 But beyond that, all I did
提交了申请而已 was fill out an application.
我受够了 You know what?
滚去火星吧 谢尔顿 Go to Mars, Sheldon.
我能做点什么让你不生气吗 Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
不能 别白费力气了 No. Forget it.
我用鼻子哼哼《星际迷航》主题曲呢 What if I play the Star Trek theme on my nose?
求求你别这么做 Please don't.
哇 你真的生气了 Yep, you're mad.
让我看看损坏的程度 Okay, let me see the damage.
等一下 Hang on.
你可能把暗榫弄坏了 Well, I think you broke the dowels.
你没有时间把它粘回去了 You're not gonna have time to glue it back on--
只能用钉子钉上 you'll have to nail it.
用什么钉啊 With what?
她那里有枕头或者酒杯吗 Does she have any pillows or wine glasses?
有耶 She does.
太好了 Great.
这两样都没用 去找把锤子 Neither of those. Try a hammer!
玩我你爽了吗 Did that feel good?
你觉得自己棒棒哒了吗 You feel like a big man now?
我本想帮你泡杯红花茶 I was going to make you red zinger,
但鉴于火星也是红色的星球 but since Mars is the red planet,
我还是给你泡薄荷茶吧 I went with peppermint.
你到底为什么想参加这个项目呢 Why do you even want to do this?
其实呢 Actually...
申请中的一部分 as part of the application,
就是要我录一段短片 I was required to make a short video
回答这个问题 answering that very question.
你想看看吗 You want to see it?
你就不能直接告诉我吗 Can't you just tell me?
但是人家录了短片的呀 But I made a video.
在下是谢尔顿·库珀博士 I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
我要告诉你们为什么应该选我... and I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to...
上火星 go to Mars!
我聪明绝顶 I'm exceedingly smart.
14岁就从大学毕业了 I graduated college at 14.
我的兄弟得性病时 While my brother was getting an STD
我就已经得博士学位了 I was getting a PhD.
青霉素可消除不掉这成就哦 Penicillin can't take this away.
在狭小的空间里 保持清洁至关重要 Being in close quarters, cleanliness is important
而我的卫生习惯无懈可击 and... my hygiene is impeccable.
动物都无法信任我 In fact, animals don't trust me
因为我身上什么味都没有 because I smell like nothing.
真的 Yeah...
啥味都没有 Literally nothing.
在长达7个月的太空飞行中 During the seven-month space flight,
我可以用我独特的幽默感保持士气 I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humor.
莱纳德 Hey, Leonard...
那个罐子里还有花生糖吗 is there any peanut brittle left in that can?
你是指这个超级可疑的罐子吗 You mean this weirdly suspicious one?
是的 打开看看嘛 Yes. Open it and check.
我不明白了 I don't get it.
这里面真的有花生糖... There's actually peanut brittle in...
求求你去火星好吗 Please go to Mars.
言归正传 But on a more serious note:
我想去火星的最大原因是 The most important reason I want to go to Mars is that
我坚信 身为一位科学家 I believe, as a scientist,
突破人类认知的极限是我的天职 it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward.
我知道火星上的生活将无比艰难 Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult.
但地球上的日子也不像野餐那么好玩 But life here on Earth is no picnic.
当然 野餐本身也不好玩 Also, picnics are no picnic.
我们该去哪里吃午餐 Where should we go for lunch?
我知道 去地上吃吧 Oh, I know, the ground.
总而言之 In conclusion,
多谢你们观看我为 thank you for considering me
这段千载难逢的旅行录制的申请 for this journey of a lifetime.
上火星 To Mars!
后来 莱纳德从他的鼻子里 Afterwards, Leonard blew his nose,
擤出了派呢 and pie came out.
就是那里 就是那里 Right there, right there,
天啊 终于啊 Oh, God, that's it!
你是怎么把颜料弄到眼睛里 How did you get paint in your eye?
都是因为你不让我戴防护眼镜 Because you wouldn't let me wear safety goggles!
看上去一团糟啊 This looks terrible.
她肯定会发现 She-she's gonna know.
没关系 It's fine.
你就差两个钉而已了 You just need two more nails.
好的 应该钉在哪里 Okay, where should I put them?
钉在艾米丽的眼睛里 In Emily's eyes.
你真是帮倒忙 You're not helping.
所以这就是你偷翻人东西的报应 Well, maybe this is what you get for snooping.
我要处理这一摊事就已经够烦了... You know, it-it's bad enough that I have to deal with this...
拉杰 我回来了 Raj? I'm back.
死了 Oh, no.
医院情况还好吗 How was the hospital?
很好 Fine.
你在里面干什么呢 What were you doing in there?
那个...我... Uh... w-well...
我不想对你撒谎 Okay, look, I-I don't want to lie to you.
我很好奇 于是我到处看了看 I-I got curious, I was looking around...
然后我就弄坏了你的床头柜抽屉 and I broke the drawer on your night stand.
你翻看了我的床头柜抽屉吗 You were looking in my night stand?
是的 Yeah.
所以我第一次让你单独留在家里 So, the first time I leave you alone,
你就开始到处偷翻 you snoop on me?
你从来没偷翻过我的公寓吗 You've never snooped around my apartment?
没有 No!
快 好好想想 Come on, think back.
你要是有过前科会很有帮助哟 It would really help if you had!
真没想到你这么不相信我 I can't believe you don't trust me!
她听起来很火大啊 She sounds really mad.
我们应该挂掉 We should hang up.
对 是应该 Yeah, we should.
但我们不会这么做 对不对 But we're not going to, are we?
门都没有 Not a chance.
不是说"偷翻是不对的"吗 What happened to "snooping is wrong"?
反正你本来就要因为税收欺诈去坐牢了 Howard, you're going to jail for tax fraud.
这有啥所谓 Who cares?
我们"做"到了 Well, we did it.
确实"做"到了 We sure did.
我整个小宇宙都爆发了 I mean, I was on fire!
我超在状态 像运动员一样 I-I was in the zone, like an athlete.
亲爱的 这次你也是被我虐爆了 Sweetie, I beat you at this, too.
那我们把它挂哪儿 So, where do we want to hang it?
什么 你开什么玩笑 What? Are you kidding?
才不要挂起来 We're not hanging it!
但这是我们爱情的展示 But it's an expression of our love.
也是我们的屁股 不挂 And our butts! Not hanging it!
扔了怪可惜的 Seems a shame to throw it away.
是啊 Yeah.
我们可以送给谢尔顿 We could give it to Sheldon,
告诉他是威廉·夏特纳画的 and tell him William Shatner painted it.
电视剧《星际旅行：初代》中饰演星舰舰长詹姆斯·T·寇克
天 我爱你 我爱死你了 God, I love you. I love you so much.
我要回家了 I think I'm gonna go home.
为什么 Why?
我真不理解这是什么情况 I really don't understand what's happening here.
谢尔顿 如果是任何其他时候 You know, Sheldon, at any other time,
知道你计划要去火星上住 learning that you had plans to go live on Mars
那这事只是你太晚告诉我而已 would be a slow news day.
但几个小时前 But a couple of hours ago,
我们还要一起养乌龟 we were getting a turtle.
虽然说起来有点傻 And silly as it sounds,
但我以为那代表着什么 I thought that meant something.
艾米 Amy!
我为什么没给她喝睡觉觉茶 Oh, why didn't I give her Sleepy Time tea?
艾米 等等 Amy, wait!
要养乌龟对我来说也是意义重大 Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me, too.
当然 Sure.
除非有更好的事发生嘛 Unless something better comes along.
你想让我撤销我的申请吗 Do you want me to withdraw my application?
我想要的是 What I want is for us
我们一起计划共同的未来 to be planning our future together.
在你说的未来 And in that future,
我们是在同一星球上吗 are we on the same planet?
因为我也看过远距离异地恋成功的例子 Yeah, because I've seen people make the long-distance thing work.
我们是在同一星球上 We're on the same planet!
知道了 Okay!
一定要在地球这颗星球吗 Does that planet have to be Earth?
你是在邀请我和你一起去火星吗 Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
我是 I am.
如果我要前往一个贫瘠无生命 Yeah, if I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment,
生存几率接近于零的地方时 where the chances of survival are slim to none,
我希望你在我身旁 I want you there with me.
要不要跟我回家 Why don't we go back to the apartment,
把你的申请填了 and fill out your application?
要 Okay.
我想能成为第一批 I suppose being the first people
在新星球居住的居民 应该挺刺激的 on a new planet would be incredibly exciting.
我知道 Oh, I know.
我们可以成为第一批在火星插旗的人 We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars.
成为第一批在火星上看《火星入侵》电影的人 We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks! On Mars.
我们也可以是第一批 We could be the first to say
"天了噜 你说的什么火星话啊" "Good Lord, what on Mars are you talking about?"
你知道吗 You know,
我们也可以成为第一批 we could also be the first people
在火星生育的人 to procreate on Mars.
你的太空裤就是系不严 是不是 You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?
你想想 Think about it.
如果我们在那里成家 If we had a family there,
我们的孩子就是火星人了 our kids would be Martians.
他们还真会是 对不对 They would, wouldn't they?
我们可以给他们取酷酷的火星人名字 We could give them cool Martian names.
教他们火星人的历史 And we could teach them about Martian history.
比如这些个旗子都是谁插的 Like, who planted those flags?
还有《火星入侵》影带是谁带来的 And, uh, where did that copy of Mars Attacks! Come from?
也许我们需要以情侣身份录个新视频了 I guess we'll have to make a new video together, as a couple.
好主意 Good idea.
既然今天你这么不开心 And since you've had such a rough day,
我愿意让你用馅饼呼莱纳德一脸 I'm gonna let you throw the pie in Leonard's face.
谢谢你原谅我 Thank you for forgiving me.
不客气 It's okay.
恋爱后的第一次争吵 早晚都会发生呀 At some point, we were bound to have our first fight.
你说我的脆皮苹果派不脆又没味时 Well, it almost happened when you called
就差点发生了 my apple pie crust "Doughy."
事实是你当时说得对 The truth is you were right.
我只是气自己罢了 And I was just angry at myself.
我能问你件事吗 Can I ask you one thing?
当然 什么事 Of course. What?
你看没看过我的衣柜 Did you look in my closet?
没有 只有抽屉 No. Just the drawer.
你发誓你没看过吗 You promise you didn't look in the closet?
我发誓 I promise.
为什么 里面有什么 Why, what's in there?
你别管了 Don't worry about it.
晚安 Good night.