这款是市面上最棒的一台了 It's, like, the best one they make,
可怎么弄都飞不起来 I just can't get it to work.
我来弄吧 I'll figure it out.
这玩意能边飞边串流高清影片到你手机上 It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying.
赞 Nice.
我单身的时候 这小宝贝在哪呢 Where were you when I was single?
我们一小时内就得出发 你东西收拾好了吗 Okay, we should leave in about an hour. You all packed?
差不多 出发前再加几件东西进去就行 Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things--
就化妆品 内衣裤 衣服那些 you know, makeup, underwear, clothes.
如果你的浴室地板能算手提行李 If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on,
那你算收拾完毕了 you're packed.
莱纳德 你以前有在高中毕业典礼致辞过吗 Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
没有 挺让人激动的 Nope. It's pretty exciting.
你不怕被弄瞎吗 Aren't you afraid of being blinded?
我为什么会被弄瞎 How would I be blinded?
在毕业典礼的最后 At the end of the ceremony,
学生都会把四方尖角帽抛上天空 all the students throw those pointy hats in the air.
场面还会挺有气势 直到有人被戳瞎眼 It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye.
我乐意赌一把 I'll take my chances.
随你 Fine.
你说有没有卖"我早说了"的点字版卡片 I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in braille.
毕业典礼演讲最大的问题是 Look, the problem with commencement speeches
都很无聊 is that they're boring.
你有能发射T恤的T恤大炮吗 Ooh, do you own a T-shirt cannon?
他没事为啥会有T恤大炮 Why would he own a T-shirt cannon?
不知道啊 但为啥我有咧 I don't know. Why do I own one?
我觉得你很贴心 I think it's really nice
愿意带佩妮分享这样的机会 that you're sharing this experience with Penny.
我觉得带她去 Mm, I thought it'd be fun
我的母校地盘看看 应该蛮有意思 to show her my old stomping grounds.
我还记得我是在哪块"地盘"被人踩呢 I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.
但现在你能以成功科学家身份衣锦还乡啊 Well, now you get to go back as a successful scientist.
手里搂着美女 With a beautiful girl on your arm.
眼里还插着一顶四方尖角帽 And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball.
生
活
大
爆
炸
第八季 第二十二集
你怎么能这么快就准备好呢 How'd you get ready so fast?
我轻装上阵嘛 Oh, I pack light.
有一年的春假 Once, I got through an entire spring break
我回家就带了一件长T恤跟腰带 with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
你为啥会需要腰带 Why did you need a belt?
那叫晚装好吗 It's called an evening look.
我从来没去过新泽西呢 I've never been to New Jersey before.
电视节目把它名声搞臭了 It gets a bad rap from shows
比如《泽西海滩》或《贵妇的真实生活》 like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
《泽西海滩》讲八名男女去泽西海岸打工 玩乐 《泽西贵妇的真实生活》就是有钱人在秀下限
所以实情不是那样吗 So it's not really like that?
没 还真的就像那样 No, it's like that.
但还是很期待能带你到处看看 Well, I'm excited to show you around.
你觉得我们会有时间去探望你妈吗 You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
有啊 Yes.
还时间把我的鸡鸡放进压蒜器呢 We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press,
但我也不会因为有时间就做啊 but I'm not doing that either.
刚收到短信提醒 I just got an alert.
我们的班机被取消了 Our flight's been canceled.
什么 What?
东海岸这里好像有个很大的台风 Yeah, looks like there's a big storm all up the East Coast.
能换别家的班机吗 Well, can we get on another airline?
貌似不行 I don't think so.
所以就这样 不去了吗 So, that's it? We're not going?
看来是 I guess not.
-也太衰了吧 -是啊 - Well, that sucks. - Yeah.
我可是非常认真准备这段致辞呢 I worked hard on that speech, too.
你可以念给我听啊 Oh. You could tell it to me.
谢谢啊 不过不用啦 Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
我可以假装我是高中拉拉队长 I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader
对成功的校友没有任何抵抗力哦 who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.
杰出的拉拉队员们 你们好吗 Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.
无线网扩展器开启了 摄像机也开启了 Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on,
而且两者都连到了同个网 they're both on the same network;
我们应该能收到画面了啊 we should be getting an image.
我只能看到黑色的屏幕 All I see is a black screen.
以及我自己的倒影 And my own reflection.
我看起来好伤心 I look sad.
可能我们得重新校准一下 Maybe we should recalibrate it.
好吧 All right.
第一步: 快速扳动校准开关 Step one: rapidly flip the calibration switch
从最上方扳到最下方 from the fully up to the fully down
此动作最少重复十次 positions for at least ten times.
上面真写了"最少"吗 It actually says "at least"?
对啊 Yeah.
它为啥会写"最少"啊 Why would they say "at least"?
那到底是扳十次 Is it ten toggles?
还是扳一百次呢 Is it 100 toggles? You know?
还是扳一千次 Is it 1,000 toggles?
一万次呢 10,000 toggles?
-还是十万次 -谢尔顿 - 100,000 toggles? - Sheldon!
你懂我接下来要说的是什么 You see where I'm going with this.
你就快点扳就是了 Just flip the switch
直到无人机的灯变成长亮的黄色 until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.
好吧 这步看起来不难 All right, that seems simple enough.
启动校准程序 Initiating calibration sequence.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four,
五 六 七 八 九 十 five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
看来技术上来说 十等于"最少十下" Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten."
但他们"最少"会收到一封愤怒的投诉信 But they're still getting at least one angry letter.
现在沿着中轴 Now I rotate it horizontally
水平旋转它 直到灯号变成绿色 on its center axis until the lights turn green.
启动旋转程序 Initiating rotation sequence.
看我干嘛 启动啊 Don't look at me, initiate.
这红跟黄灯代表什么意思 What does red and yellow mean?
代表校准失败 It means the calibration failed.
我们得从头再来 We have to start over.
好吧 Oh. Very well.
重新启动校准程序 Reinitiating calibration sequence.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four,
五 六 七 八 九 十 five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
十一 ...eleven.
还好那封信我没有寄出 It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.
老爸 最近还好吗 Hello, Daddy. What's up?
还行 就想看看我儿子最近好不好 Not much, just wanted to see how my son's doing.
很好啊 谢谢关心 Very well, thank you.
你还在跟那位皮肤科医生约会吗 Are you still dating that dermatologist?
如果你能摸到我的皮肤多柔嫩 If you could feel how soft my skin is,
你就不会问了 you wouldn't have to ask.
我还有另一件事想问你 Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you.
你为啥把一个月的房租钱拿去买玩具飞机 Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter?!
原来那张账单是寄给你了啊 Oh, you're where that bill goes.
我受够了纵容你的白痴生活 I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle.
是时候让你学会负起责任了 It's time you learned responsibility.
而唯一能教会你这事的方法 And the only way to teach you that
不再给你零用钱 is to cut off your allowance.
不行 爸 不行 No, Daddy, no!
能让我学会负责任的方法多了去了 There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility.
比如你可以给我颗鸡蛋 I know, you can give me an egg
让我照顾好它整整一周啊 and make me take care of it for a week!
不必了 我已经决定了 No, my mind is made up.
从现在开始 你自食其力吧 Starting now, you're on your own.
可是爸比 我好想家人 But, Daddy, I-I miss my family so much,
你跟妈咪又离婚了 and with you and Mummy getting a divorce,
我好不开心又好空虚 I feel sad and empty.
偶尔买个小玩具 Buying a little toy every now and then
能帮助我填满心中的空虚 helps me fill that void.
所以尽管我不能天天拥抱你 So while I can't hug you every day,
飞那台直升机... flying that helicopter...
我要断了你 I'm cutting you off.
我确认一下 是断钱 还是挂断电话 Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?
别跳红黄灯啊 No red and yellow,
别跳黄红灯啊 no red and yellow.
-变绿了 -我们成功了 - It's green! - Yay! We did it!
天啊 光捧着转就这么有意思 God, if it's this much fun to rotate,
等飞起来还得了 imagine when we fly it.
好了 现在我只需垂直旋转机体 Okay, now all I have to do is rotate it vertically
直到绿灯熄灭 until the lights turn off.
不 Oh, no!
好了 娱乐时间结束 All right, playtime's over.
咱们把这宝贝拆开吧 Let's open this baby up.
拆开就不能保修了 Won't that void the warranty?
谢尔顿 我有一个工程学硕士学位 Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering.
保修卡只配给我擦屁股 I wipe my bottom with warranties.
苹果的保修除外 Except for AppleCare.
从长远来看 维修费很快会回本 That pays for itself in the long run.
你去哪儿了 Hey, where'd you go?
我给你买了点东西 让你开心开心 I got you a little something to cheer you up.
真的吗 Really?
昨晚的爱爱 今早的饼饼 Sex last night, pancakes this morning--
我这是要死的节奏吗 Am I dying?
快打开看看 Just open it.
四方帽和长袍 A cap and gown?
我为什么会需要这俩玩意 Why do I need a cap and gown?
因为你要在毕业典礼上致辞 Because you are giving your commencement speech.
你在说什么呀 What are you talking about?
我打给你以前的高中 I called your old high school
说服他们让你通过视频聊天在典礼上致辞 and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.
真的吗 Really?
太棒了 That's amazing!
你还特意买了长袍让我致辞时穿 And you gave me the robes to give it in.
谢谢 Thank you.
对哦 关于长袍我有话说 Yeah, now about those--
这是我在一家道具店买的 uh, they came from a costume shop,
店里只剩下性感毕业生装束了 and all they had left was sexy graduate,
所以长袍... so they...
可能会有点短 might be a little short.
-又短[矮]又性感 我的强项嘛 -没错 - Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse. - Yeah!
哎呀呀 零件还真多呀 Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces.
你都知道是干嘛的 对吧 You know what they all do, right?
当然 那还用说 Yes, of course.
那这个是干嘛的 What about this one?
这个嘛...你熟不熟 Well, I... how familiar are you
小型集成逻辑电路呢 with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?
不太熟 Not very.
那你手里拿着的正是这玩意 That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit.
那你能修好它吗 So, can you get it working?
我可是麻省理工毕业的工程师 I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
我还为太空站出过一份力呢 I've built components for the space station.
我还以为那个零重力厕所不能用呢 I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
能用好吗 It worked fine,
只不过设计不适合俄罗斯宇航员 it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts
以及他们的全是马铃薯的饮食 and their potato-based diet.
你好啊 Hey, guys.
你来啦 Hello.
我得把直升飞机退了 我爸... I have to return the helicopter. My father...
你俩干了什么好事 What did you do?!
别担心 Well, don't worry.
他是麻省理工毕业的 He went to MIT.
他可以解决任何问题 He can solve any problem,
只要不是来自俄罗斯人的结肠就行 as long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.
真他妈不敢相信 I don't freaking believe this!
别紧张 能装回去 Relax, it'll be fine.
不是 你现在必须装回去 No, you have to put this back together right now,
我才能拿去退 so I can return it!
你退不了了 You can't return it.
霍华德用保修卡擦屁股了 Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty.
什么 What?!
我猜他可能只是打个比方 I think metaphorically.
但他刚真进了厕所好一会呢 But he was in the bathroom for a while.
霍华德 我爸不给我零用钱花了 Howard, my father cut me off.
我得把这玩意退了 把钱拿回来 I have to get my money back for this!
冷静 Calm down.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 你是对的 Okay, you're right.
我是时候站出来 It's time for me to step up
为自己的人生负责了 and take responsibility for my life.
当个爷们 Be a man.
妈咪是我啊 Hello, Mummy.
拉杰什呀 Hello, Rajesh.
这通电话真让我惊喜 What a nice surprise.
我一直很想你 Well, I've been thinking about you.
你好吗 你快乐吗 妈咪 How are you doing? Are you happy, Mummy?
乖儿子 真关心我 Such a sweet boy for asking.
真不敢相信你是来自你父亲的毒种 Can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.
我觉得我比较随你 Well, I like to think I take mostly after you.
对了 说起爸爸 Anyway, speaking of Daddy,
我们刚进行了一次非常奇怪的通话 I had a very strange conversation with him.
他说以后没钱打生活费给我了 He said he couldn't afford to send me money anymore
因为他有活跃的社交生活 because of his active social life.
这话什么意思 "活跃的社交生活" What does that mean, "active social life"?
好啦 咱们别聊他了 Well, let's not talk about him
谁在乎他有没有在密谋什么诡计啊 or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to.
咱们来聊聊你吧 Let's talk about you.
拉杰什 你爸是不是跟人约会了 Rajesh, is your father seeing someone?
妈咪 我只知道他是一个单身多金的医生 All I know, Mummy, is that he's a single wealthy doctor,
而现在出于某种原因 and now, for some reason,
突然没钱给你的宝贝儿子了 there's no money for your little boy.
好 不管你老爸之前给你多少钱 Well, however much money your father was giving you,
我给你更多 I'll give you more.
谢谢妈咪 我爱你 Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
一人一台直升机 Helicopters for everybody!
怎么这么久啊 What's taking so long?
我觉得这么穿不行 I don't think this is gonna work.
出来给我看看 Just let me see.
亲爱的 毕业长袍里 Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes
应该穿上衣服 underneath a graduation gown.
首先 我很惊讶你知道这点 A: surprised you know that.
其次 我想让你觉得我是一个性感毕业生 B: I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.
你成功了 Well, you do.
-谢谢 -好啦 - Thank you. - Yeah.
反正你是视频语聊 他们也看不到你的腿 You're gonna be on Skype; they're not gonna see your legs.
以防万一 我还是穿上裤子吧 Well, I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case.
但我要说一句 这样穿真的好"解放" But I have to say, this is very freeing.
系条腰带 我就带你去个好地方 Add a belt and I'll take you someplace nice.
没问题 Done and done.
好了 我已经把故障缩小到 Okay, I think I've narrowed it down
飞机通讯芯片上一个错误的针脚 to a faulty pin on the onboard communication chip.
真厉害 Very impressive.
等你修完那台 You know, when you're done with that,
可以看下这台吗 can you look at this?
它不会冒烟了 It doesn't make smoke anymore.
一个个来 One toy at a time.
抱歉 Mm. Sorry.
或许这样最好 Ah, maybe it's for the best.
我听说火车头的烟 I hear locomotive smoke
是火车宅们第二大死因 is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados.
第一大死因是什么 What's the first one?
自杀 Suicide.
错 Wrong.
肥胖 Obesity.
我把你要的工具拿来了 I have the tool you wanted.
谢谢 Thank you.
你们其实不必这么费劲 You guys don't have to go to the trouble.
哥现在又有钱了 I'm back in the money now;
再买一台就好啦 I can just buy another helicopter.
重点不是钱 It's not about the money.
而是解决问题 It's about solving a problem.
这是我当工程师的初衷 It's why I became an engineer.
我喜欢做这个 我学的也是这个 It's what I like to do, it's what I'm trained to do.
这就是我 It's who I am.
瞧你 小工程师做到了 Oh, look at you-- the little engineer that could.
源自童书《小引擎做到了》
为什么不找技术支持呢 Why don't you just call tech support?
-说啥呢 -太逊了 - Hey! - Not cool!
怎么了 What?
这个世上有两种人 There's two kinds of people in this world:
打给技术支持求助的人 those who call tech support
与嘲笑前者的那种人 and those who make fun of the people who call tech support.
我就每次都打给技术支持啊 I call tech support all the time.
-你居然找技术支持 -真没用 - You call tech support! - What a baby!
现在 我们的毕业典礼演讲 And now, for our commencement address,
邀请到了我们最杰出的校友之一 one of our most distinguished alumni,
加州理工名物理学家莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 noted Caltech physicist Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
各位教员 各位同学 Members of the faculty, students,
我今天很高兴能为大家致辞 I'm excited to speak to you today.
我脑海中一直想起上次来这礼堂的情景 I can't help but remember the last time I was in this auditorium.
两个长曲棍球队的人 Two guys from the lacrosse team
拿我的气喘药吸入器当球打 不让我接 played keep-away with my asthma inhaler.
我毕业十年同学会的事就不讲了 But enough about my ten-year reunion.
我也想再花点时间 I'd also like to take a moment
感谢我美丽的未婚妻 to thank my beautiful fiancee
即使在天气不允许的情况下 for to helping make this speech possible,
仍将不可能变成现实 even though weather nearly prevented it.
大家好啊 Oh. Hello.
我不知道他会把镜头转过来 I-I didn't know he was gonna point it at me,
所以... so...
别吸毒 别辍学哦 don't do drugs and stay in school.
他们要毕业了 They're graduating.
好吧 再见 Okay, bye!
好了 电源供给重新连接上了 All right, the power supply is reconnected.
我觉得我们能出征啦 I think we're back in business.
在出征前 先做几个测试 Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside.
谢尔顿 网连上了吗 Sheldon, we got WiFi?
已连上 Check.
全球定位系统呢 GPS?
已定位 Check.
电池充满了吗 Battery charged?
已充满 Check.
四小时的生命浪费掉了吗 已浪费 Four hours of our lives gone? Check.
好的 各系统准备工作就绪 All right. All systems go.
倒数五秒 In five...
四 三 二 一 ...four, three, two, one.
我的小火车以前也能这样 That's what my train used to do.
准备好打给技术支持了吗 Ready to call tech support?
电话给我 Give me the number.
打了估计也是某个咖喱国的客服 Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy
看着同样的说明书机械化地回答问题 who's reading from the same manual I have.
我爸打来了 都怪你们俩混蛋 It's my father, you jerks.
爸比 怎么了 Hello, Daddy.
你跟你妈妈说了什么 What did you say to your mother?
没有啊 Nothing.
我就打给她问个好 I was just calling to check in,
看看她最近怎么样啊 make sure she's doing okay.
她跟你说完电话后 Well, after talking to you,
她貌似觉得我是个风流浪子 she seems to think I'm some sort of playboy.
真的吗 Really?
我不知道她怎么会产生这种想法 I don't know where she'd get an idea like that.
你也懂妈咪这人 还有她常会乱想 You know mummy and her crazy imagination.
我觉得我能随你真是太幸运了 I'm so lucky I take after you.
你觉得你是随我吗 You think you take after me?
我尽量这么想啊 Well, I try to.
如果不是有你做榜样 I certainly wouldn't be a scientist
我也不会去当科学家 if you hadn't been my role model.
谁想坐真的直升飞机去拉斯维加斯 Who wants to go to Vegas in a real helicopter?!
弗兰克·鲍姆曾说过 It was L. Frank Baum who said,
"多厉害的小偷 都无法偷走别人脑中的知识 "No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge,
所以知识是最棒最安全的宝藏" and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure."
我自己听了都觉得无聊 Wow, I'm boring myself.
抱歉 我现在看不到你们的表情 Sorry, I can't see any of your faces right now,
但我猜大概是这样 but I bet they look like this.
其实 我写了整篇致辞 Uh, you know, I-I wrote an entire speech
要说高中让你准备好面对未来 to say how high school prepares you
以及高中有多美好 and what a wonderful place it is,
但其实我超讨厌高中 but I hated it.
或许有人高中过得很开心 前提是你长这样... Maybe high school's great if you look like this...
但其实我当年觉得自己超没存在感 ...but I didn't even feel like I existed at that school.
现在我仔细一想 And now that I think about it,
我猜你们很多人也有这种感觉 I bet a lot of you feel the same way.
所以我接下来的致辞 So, for the remainder of my speech,
要献给没有存在感的孩子们 this is for the invisible kids.
或许你在学校格格不入 Uh, maybe you never fit in.
或许你是学校里最矮小 Or maybe you're the smallest kid in the school,
最胖的 或最怪的孩子 or the heaviest or the weirdest.
或许你都要毕业了 Maybe you're graduating
可到现在初吻还在 and you still haven't had your first kiss.
比如我是到19岁 By the way, 19;
洁拉尔丁·珂珂 无论此时你在哪 谢谢你 and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you.
或许你没有任何朋友 Maybe you don't have any friends.
其实 这根本无所谓 And guess what? That's okay.
尽管那些人缘好的孩子们都去干... While all the popular kids are off doing--
其实我也不知道他们去干嘛了 whatever, I don't know what they were doing
因为我没机会去 'cause I was never there...
我 我等会告诉你 I'll-I'll tell you later.
但我的重点是 My point is,
那些你独自一人度过的时间 while you're spending all this time on your own,
比如组装电脑 或练习大提琴 building computers or practicing your cello,
其实你真正在做的是 what you're really doing
让自己变有趣 is becoming interesting.
等有天别人终于注意到你时 And when people finally do notice you,
他们会发现一个比他们想象中更酷的人 they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought.
至于那些高中人缘好玩得开的同学 And for those of you who were popular in high school,
好日子到头了 抱歉 it's over, sorry.
谢谢各位 恭喜你们毕业 Thank you and congratulations.
你们的来电对我们十分重要 Your call is important to us.
目前我们所有的技术人员都在忙 All our technicians are busy helping other customers.
请稍作等待 Please stay on the line
很快就有人来为你们服务 and someone will be with you shortly.
我这是怎么了 What happened to me?
我什么时候变成了老人 When did I become an old man
被现代科技所困惑 baffled by modern technology?
接下来 Next thing you know,
我估计就要穿高到我腋下的高腰裤 I'll be hitching my pants up to my armpits
然后骂骂咧咧 and complaining about
现在小孩听的音乐有多难听了 the awful music the kids are listening to.
的确是很难听啊 对吧 It is awful, isn't it?
你们听听这噪音 Listen to that noise.
等等 等等 Hang on, hang on.
它好了 我成功了 It's working! I did it!
你怎么做到的 How'd you do that?
不知道啊 但我成功了 No idea, but I did it!
不应该在室内飞吧 Maybe you shouldn't be flying it inside.
不是我控制它 Well, I'm not flying it!
那谁在控制 Then who is?
我不知道 I don't know!
肯定是从别的地方接收到了无线信号 Must be getting a WiFi signal from somewhere else!
启动降落程序 启动降落程序 Initiate landing sequence! Initiate landing sequence!
摄像机也能用了呢 Hey, the camera's working!
看 是我呢 Oh, look, it's me.
这里是技术支持部 有何能为您效劳 Tech support, can I help you?
机器人起义了 快打给警察 Yes, it's a robot uprising! Call the police!
你真觉得他们喜欢我的致辞吗 So you really think they liked it?
亲爱的 这是我这辈子听过最棒的... Oh, sweetie, it was the best speech I...
不用担心 我们里面的人都安然无恙 Don't worry, everyone in here is safe.