莱纳德 你妈妈的飞机什么时候到 Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in?
不知道 明天早上的某个时候吧 I don't know-- some time tomorrow morning.
你不去确定下确切时间吗 Don't you want to know for sure?
不必 No need to.
只要她的飞机一进入加州领空 As soon as she flies into California airspace,
我就能感觉到原力一阵扰动 I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
真好 你们两个人的母亲 It's so nice both of your moms are coming in
都专程飞过来看你们领奖 to see you guys get an award.
每次得奖我妈妈都会陪在我身边 Well, my mother's been there for every honor I've won
这个传统从我打败双胞胎姐姐 since I beat out my twin sister
赢得"学会用便盆"就开始了 for the "Did it on the potty" trophy.
这看起来怎么样 How does this look?
很好看 她一定会喜欢 Aw, it's so nice. She's gonna love it.
是啊 他妈妈就能有玫瑰 Sure, his mom gets roses.
我说我想要玫瑰 When I want them,
他说玫瑰是"一束被砍下来的植物性器官" they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."
你说得好像情人节 You act like I didn't get you
我没送过你蘑菇养殖木一样 that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
他说得对 He's right.
玫瑰会枯萎 但一段潮湿腐烂的木头能让 Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms
蘑菇长个美好的两三年呢 for two or three magical years.
你妈妈一直对我们的感情不太感冒 You know, your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship.
或许我该给她点什么 让她能慢慢接受我 Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me.
如果你能出去弄个博士学位 If you could run out and get a PhD,
她说不定就会喜欢你啦 that might make her like you.
是吗 你这个博士也没赢得她的欢心啊 Really? It didn't work for you.
你们觉得两位妈妈处得来吗 Do you think the moms will get along?
不知道 她们两人差别挺大 Uh, I don't know. They're pretty different.
说不定能成为挚友啊 Maybe they'll be best friends.
她们一人聪明绝顶 一人善良单纯 One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple.
有没有种熟悉的感觉 Sound familiar?
生
活
大
爆
炸
第八季 第二十三集
谢利 你跟莱纳德得到这个奖让我十分骄傲 Shelly, I'm so proud of you and Leonard for getting this award.
谢谢你 母亲 Oh, thank you, Mother.
我有试着读你的论文 但是太深了 I tried to read your paper, but it was very hard
我读不懂 for me to understand.
其实还挺好理解的啦 Oh, it's quite straightforward, actually.
它描述了一种新的宇宙模型 It describes a new model of the universe
将宇宙构想成 that conceptualizes it as the surface
n维超流体的表面 of an n-dimensional superfluid.
有意思 Interesting.
你相信这个 You can believe that,
却不信上帝在方舟上雌雄各一地装了各种动物 but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense.
母亲 那他们用什么喂狮子呢 What did they feed the lions, Mother?
被大洪水淹死 漂来漂去的罪人尸体啊 The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.
听我说 莱纳德的母亲是一位知名心理学家 Listen, Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist
与一名女科学家 and woman of science.
能不能请你把你那些圣经碎话收着 Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself
别在她面前说 while she's here?
你觉得我让你丢人了吗 Are you ashamed of me?
当然不是啦 我最爱你了 Of course not. I love you.
我只对你的信仰 行为和话语感到丢人 I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.
好吧 我也爱你 Well, I love you, too.
我那喂狮子的小宝贝 My little bowl of lion chow.
你跟佩妮定下婚礼的日子了吗 So, have you and Penny set a wedding date?
没呢 我们打算慢慢来 No, we're kind of taking it slow.
呵呵 I see.
你这是什么意思 What does that mean?
你跟这个女人分分合合七年了 You've been on and off with this woman for seven years
然后也订婚一年了 and engaged for one year.
让人不禁疑惑 One has to wonder if there's a problem.
你们俩性生活还行吗 Are you having satisfactory intercourse?
是的 母亲 Yes, Mother.
所以只是还行 呵呵 Only satisfactory. I see.
我换下答案 I change my answer.
是很棒 超热辣 It-it's amazing. It's hot.
一看到对方就天雷勾动地火 We can barely keep our hands off each other.
试图靠炫耀床上功夫 Seems odd to try and impress your mother
来取悦你的母亲有些怪吧 with your sexual prowess.
不过你也的确一直有恋母情结 But then, you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex.
你看 就是你现在这样 See, this right here, what you're doing,
能不能求你别在谢尔顿他妈妈面前这样 can you please not do that around Sheldon's mom?
为什么 你也恋上她了吗 Why? Are you attracted to her, too?
当然没有啦 Of course not.
她就只是个很善良很虔诚的女士 She's-she's just a very sweet and God-fearing lady,
所以请你对她的信仰表达尊重 and you have to be respectful of her beliefs.
莱纳德 我是个成人 Leonard, I'm an adult.
我知道如何在各式各样的人面前 I know how to conduct myself around people
保持风度 from different walks of life.
谢谢 Thank you.
她是哪里人来着 Where is she from again?
德州东部 East Texas.
看看谁来啦 Hey, look who's here.
霍夫斯塔德博士 真高兴再见到你 Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, it's so good to see you again.
我也是 Likewise.
我读了你的论文 非常棒 I read your paper; it was very impressive.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我们刚开了两小时的车回来 We just spent two hours in traffic.
在路上你怎么没想过要说你喜欢我们的论文呢 Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper?
我当然想过 但一位母亲的职责 Of course I did, but it's a mother's job
就是得确保自己孩子的自尊 to make sure her child's self-esteem
不是建立靠得到他人肯定上 is not dependent on anyone's approval.
真好 你觉得我还有自尊心 That's so sweet, you think I have self-esteem.
霍夫斯塔德博士 这位是我的母亲玛丽 Dr. Hofstadter, I want you to meet my mother, Mary.
很高兴见到你 So nice to meet you.
幸会幸会 飞得还顺利吗 Nice to meet you, too. How was your flight?
很好 你的呢 Very pleasant. And yours?
非常好 仿佛某位... Lovely. Almost as if someone--
不说是谁了 从飞机上方庇佑着我们 not saying who-- was watching over the plane.
你是在开玩笑的吧 You're kidding, right?
妈 你真是一点都不明显啊 Subtle, Mom, real subtle.
斯图尔特 Stuart.
早安 Morning.
我们谈过这事了 We talked about this.
我不介意你继续住在这里 I don't mind you still living here,
但我们必须要有些规矩 but we got to have some rules.
而第一条规矩就是 穿裤子 And rule number one is pants.
你一定很引你儿子为豪吧 You must be very proud of your son.
是啊 Oh, yes.
他最近在最高法院为一件案子辩护 He recently argued a case before the Supreme Court.
他去了吗 He did?
你是说这个儿子啊 Oh, you mean this son.
是啦 他很不错 Uh, sure, he's terrific.
贝弗莉 你想不想看下我为验证我们的假设 Uh, Beverly, would you like to see the math I worked out
所做的计算 to support our hypothesis?
你是说我的假设吗 Uh, you mean, my hypothesis.
这全部假设都是我做出来的 I hypothesized it all by myself.
冷静 亲爱的 Calm down, dear.
玛丽 我很好奇 Mary, I'm curious.
你第一次发现 When did you first realize
你儿子有着如此非凡的脑子是什么时候呢 that your son had such a remarkable mind?
好问题 Ooh, good question.
大家都喜欢天才小子谢尔顿·库珀的故事 Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius.
大概是他十三岁的时候吧 Well, I would have to say when he was 13
他试着在工具房里造一个核反应堆 and tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed.
这是个好故事 Ooh, this is a good one.
首先 你需要知道的是 Now, the first thing you have to know about Shelly is
谢利从小开始 ever since he was a little boy,
就打从心底为别人着想 he was always concerned with the well-being of others.
而他觉得要人们付电费 And he didn't think that it was fair
这事情太不公平了 for people to pay for electricity,
所以他想要为全镇提供免费电力 so he was gonna power the entire town for free.
告诉她铀的事 Tell her about the uranium!
快告诉她铀的事 Tell her about the uranium.
好 Oh, well!
这事还挺好玩的 Oh, this is adorable.
当他说要从乍得那里弄来黄饼[核反应燃料]时 When he arranged to get some yellowcake from Chad,
我还以为他是要从朋友那里 I thought he was talking about Twinkies
弄个夹馅面包之类的 from one of his friends.
但其实不是 But I wasn't.
因为那时我没有任何朋友 'Cause I didn't have any friends.
没有 No.
后来才发现这个小混蛋 It turns out that this little scallywag was trying
是要用我的信用卡 to use my Visa card to buy uranium
去跟非洲国家"乍得"的军阀买铀 from an African warlord in the country of Chad!
听起来谢尔顿小时候是麻烦精啊 Sounds like Sheldon was a handful.
是啊 他小时候可麻烦了 Oh, he was a handful.
我小时候是麻烦精 I was a handful.
现在还是 You still are.
妈 告诉玛丽那个 Uh, Mom, hey, tell Mary the story
我用家里的吸尘器来做出 about how I made a Van de Graaff generator
范德格拉夫起电机的事 out of our vacuum cleaner.
好啊 All right.
他把吸尘器弄坏了 He broke the vacuum cleaner.
曾有一阵子 全都是吸血鬼 I mean, for a while, everything was vampires.
现在全换成了僵尸了 Now it's all zombies.
真不知道下一个潮流怪物会是什么 I wonder what the next monster fad will be.
貌似有段时间没看过隐形人了 We haven't had a good invisible man in a while.
显然你是从未看过我跟女人说话 Clearly, you've never seen me try to talk to a woman.
先生们 Guys.
在你们坐在这里打电动的时间里 In the time you've been sitting here playing video games,
我把车开去洗了 买了清洁用品 I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies
还去了趟银行 and went to the bank.
我把裤子穿上啦 I put on pants.
马屁精 Kiss-ass.
我不知道我从什么时候开始 Okay, I don't know when I became
变成了三个懒鬼少年的妈妈 the mother to three lazy teenagers,
但一切到此为止 but it stops today.
你们去把厨房打扫了 从上到下里里外外 You guys are cleaning the kitchen, top to bottom.
人家根本不住这里啊 Hey, I don't even live here.
那你回答我 我家洗衣房里有没有你的衣服 Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
有 I do.
其中有些是羊毛的 And some of it's wool,
尽量平摊晾干 so dry flat if possible.
这张是我拿到学士学位时拍的照片 Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
你看起来不是很开心啊 You don't look very happy.
当时才刚开始进入青春期 Well, I had just begun puberty.
所以无论从实际或比喻上来说 It was figuratively and literally
那都是我最"毛"孩子的一段日子 one of the hairiest moments of my life.
谢利不喜欢改变 Shelly does not like change.
是的 Oh, true.
无论你再怎么缩腹 But all the clenching in the world will not keep
蛋蛋还是会垂下去[长大] testicles in your abdomen.
抱歉 工作有点耽搁了 Hey, sorry, got caught up at work.
-贝弗利你来啦 -你好啊 - Hi, Beverly! - Hello.
好吧 Oh, okay.
抱歉 我忘了 Sorry, I forgot.
还记得我母亲吗 You remember my mother.
记得 你好吗 玛丽 Oh, yes. Hi, Mary!
亲爱的 很高兴又见到你 Good to see you again, dear.
这才是我想要的 Ah, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.
妈 我跟佩妮订婚后你还没见过她呢 So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged.
对了 给你看看我的戒指 Oh, yeah, let me show you the ring.
很漂亮 Oh, lovely.
肯定很贵吧 Must have been very expensive.
不 一点都不贵 Oh, no, not at all.
我们在网上找到一家店 No, we, uh, found a place online
能将金刚石钻头改成钻石 that, uh, repurposes diamond drill bits.
才不是呢 他乱说 We did not. That's not true.
我能跟你单独谈一下吗 Can I speak to you alone for a second?
当然 Oh, sure.
这是从蒂芬妮买的 It came from Tiffany's.
你说的是盒子对吧 You mean the box, right?
继续走你的 Keep walking!
我一点都不在乎他在戒指上花了多少钱 Really doesn't matter to me how much he spent on the ring.
大概吧 I think.
关于戒指的事我说错话了吗 Did I misspeak about the ring?
是的 那个我们等会再说 Yes, and we'll get back to that.
你自己的妈妈就在这儿 But, uh, even with your mother here,
你却在故意霸占我妈全部的注意力 you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom.
你就像象海豹的幼崽 You're like one of those elephant seal pups
从两个妈妈那里抢奶喝 that steals the milk from two mothers!
你指的是海洋生物学家 Do you mean what marine biologists
所说的"超断人奶机"吧 refer to as "super weaning"?
对 你就是超"机吧" Yes, you are a super weaner!
这我就要纠正你了 Well, now I have to correct you.
作为象海豹的小小爱好者 A-As a bit of an elephant seal buff,
更准确的比喻 the more accurate comparison
应该是当两只海豹妈妈 would be when two mother seals
都抢着给一只海豹幼崽喂奶 actively seek to nourish the same pup.
所以我觉得你想说的是 So I believe the term you're looking for
双吸母奶婴 is a double mother suckler.
你说得没错 Yeah, you're right.
我想说的就是这个词 That is the term I'm looking for.
你这个肮脏的双吸母奶婴 You are a dirty double mother suckler!
好吧 现在我们找到正确的名词了 Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out.
你好大的胆子 How dare you!
我们不着急 We're not in a rush.
等时机到了再定日子吧 We'll set a date when the time is right.
没关系 亲爱的 It doesn't matter, sweetie.
只要一个男人跟女人上床 The moment a man lays with a woman,
在上帝眼里他们就已经结婚了 they are married in the eyes of the Lord.
你对圣经就是这个态度吗 The bible is "uch" to you?
不 抱歉 我态度不对 No, I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.
作为一名精神病学家 As a psychiatrist,
我明白迷信对人们的重要性 I know how important people's superstitions can be to them.
你想聊迷信吗 You want to talk about superstitions?
谢尔顿给我看了你写的书 Sheldon sent me the books you wrote--
全都是关于超我和本我的鬼话 all that nonsense about superegos and ids.
这都是谁提出的歪理邪说 What bull dropped that on the barn floor?
他叫西格蒙德·弗洛伊德 His name is Sigmund Freud.
你们看 Hey, look at that!
你们都相信有胡子的犹太人 You both believe in Jewish bearded guys.
别瞎掺和 Stay out of this.
至少我相信的胡子男 At least the bearded man that I believe in
传播爱与怜悯 preaches love and compassion.
而你相信的那个说的都是 All yours talks about is
为何人们憋着心里的便便 why you hold in your poop
以及想爬回自己妈妈的肚子里 and want to crawl back inside your mama.
真是太精彩了 It's fascinating.
像谢尔顿这么开明的孩子 How can someone as enlightened as Sheldon
怎么会有你这样的母亲 come from someone like you?
我知道答案 I know the answer.
你不会喜欢的 You're not gonna like it.
你说啊 Try me.
我怀着谢利的时候开车去教堂 When I was pregnant with Shelly, I was driving to church,
向上帝祈祷 and I was praying to the Lord
给我一个比他那个傻逼老爸聪明的儿子 to give me a son smarter than his dumb-ass daddy.
然后我看到旁边那辆斯巴鲁里的耶稣娃娃 And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead
冲我点头说好 in the Subaru next to me nodding yes.
那是什么意思 What is that supposed to mean?
意思是 It means...
不敢相信我们居然在聊这个 I can't believe we're having this conversation.
多拍几遍吧 Well, do it some more.
说不定能把你自己拍灵光点 Maybe you can knock some sense into yourself.
我们还是不要伤害自己了 I hope we all stops hitting ourselves
聊点安全的话题吧 and talk about something safe, you know,
比如鞋子啊 中国婴儿有多萌之类的 like shoes or how cute little Chinese babies are.
或许你妈妈喜欢我比喜欢你多 Maybe it is not my fault that your mother likes me
不是我的错 better than she likes you!
少往自己脸上贴金了 Oh, don't flatter yourself!
她喜欢任何人都比喜欢我多 She likes everybody better than she likes me!
这团果冻放了多久了 How old is this Jell-O?
那是胡萝卜 所以应该很久了 Well, it's carrots, so gonna say very.
抱歉我们得清理厨房 Sorry we have to do this.
伯纳黛特没有错 Bernadette's not wrong.
她一直都很辛苦 She does work hard around here.
她不再把你当娃娃一样照顾 Yeah, maybe it's a good thing
也许是一件好事 if she stops babying you so much.
她没有把我当娃娃 She doesn't baby me.
我看见她用小推车拉你回家 I saw her pull you home in a wagon.
解释一下 For your information,
我去追冰淇淋车的时候把脚扭了 I twisted my ankle chasing the ice cream truck.
面对现实吧 Face it, dude,
伯纳黛特对你就跟你妈对你一样 Bernadette treats you the same way your mother used to,
这种关系很不健康 and that was not a healthy relationship.
你说得对 You're right.
我是时候 It's time for me
在婚姻里表现得成熟点了 to act like an adult in this marriage.
履行我做丈夫的职责 从倒垃圾开始 Starting with my husbandly duty of taking out the trash.
妮妮 我闯祸了 Bernie, I made a mess!
非常抱歉惹你母亲不高兴了 I'm terribly sorry that I upset your mother.
没事 她会原谅你的 Oh, it's all right. She'll forgive you.
她必须原谅 否则就得下地狱了 She has to or she goes to hell.
我注意到 I can't help but notice
她对你无条件的爱 how her unconditional love for you
与我为人母的教子之方恰恰相反 is diametrically opposed to my own parenting strategies.
你将少量关爱 Well, you doled out affection
作为奖励发放在他们取得成就时 as a reward for achievement--
这种教子之方已被证实有效 a proven way to raise a child.
训练老鼠也有效 Or train a rat.
看你出落得多么优秀 But look how well you turned out.
此刻我本应表现出谦逊 可谁信啊 I'd feign modesty at this point, but who would believe me?
可你也要考虑到 Still, you need to consider
莱纳德的兄弟姐妹多成功啊 how successful Leonard's brother and sister are.
也是 I suppose.
而我的兄弟姐妹都是只会用嘴呼吸的笨蛋 While my brother and sister are mouth-breathing idiots.
你认为如果你成长在一个 Do you suppose you would've flourished more
奖励机制的环境下 会更成功吗 in a reward-based environment?
大概吧 Perhaps.
可只要我想吃 But my mom made me spaghetti
我妈随时都会给我做热狗肠碎意面 with chopped-up hot dogs whenever I wanted,
所以随便啦 so who cares?
我妈从来没有在我做自己的情况下 Not once did my mother ever give me any love
给我爱或者关怀 or affection for just being myself;
我总是得赢得她的爱 I always had to earn it.
莱纳德 我肯定她非常爱你 Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much.
用她冷酷又无神论的方式 In her own cold godless way.
我对你的爱你是不用赢得的[挣得] Yeah, and you certainly don't have to earn my love.
谢谢 Thank you.
当然了 这点早在你给我买 Of course, you already knew that
这枚公主型钻头戒时 就悟透了 when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit.
不是那样的 That's not what it is.
我懂 我懂 I know, I know.
等你母亲回来 When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need
我得为我说话的方式跟她道歉 to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
不用啊 反正也是她先挑的事 Well, come on now, she did kind of start it.
不重要 好信徒被打脸会把另一边脸送上 Doesn't matter; a good Christian would've turned the other cheek.
另一方面 On the other hand,
好德州人会开枪打死她 a good Texan would've shot her, so...
我选了个折衷的方式 I just kind of split the difference.
有人想吃热狗肠碎意面吗 Hey, who's in the mood for spaghetti and hot dogs?
我想 Oh, me!
我也想吃 Yeah, me, too!
马上开饭 Coming up.
我感觉自己不配吃 I don't really feel I deserve it.
看来这坨黏糊糊的垃圾 That was a big sticky mess,
已经被我搞定了 but... I think I got it.
看着挺干净 Looks good.
瞧瞧 Look at that.
你自己把垃圾打扫干净了 You cleaned it up all by yourself.
是的 你自己把垃圾打扫干净了 Yes, I cleaned it up all by myself.
真是 不懂你没事抱怨个什么... Honestly, I don't know why you complain so...
可能就那地方没擦干净 Okay, maybe I missed one spot.
退下吧 Just leave.
很高兴我俩能冰释前嫌 I'm so glad that you and I were able to bury the hatchet.
我也是 Me, too.
我也尊重你信仰的权利 And I respect your right to your beliefs.
我会为你祈祷的 And I will pray for you.
妈 趁着大家都还没再说错话时 Okay, Mom, let's get you back to your hotel
我赶紧送你回酒店吧 before anyone says anything else.
等一下 One moment.
有些话我得跟你说 There's something I need to say to you.
真的吗 这样不好吧 Oh, really? That's too bad.
莱纳德 我总是逼你去争取我的关爱 Leonard, I always made you earn my affection,
但今天我意识到 but today I realize that
教育孩子不只有一种方法 there's more than one way to raise a child.
这可是我教她的呢 I taught her that!
于是我 Therefore, I would like
要实施新方案 就是... to initiate a new protocol wherein I...
要让你沐浴在 我无条件的爱中 shower you with unconditional love.
什么时候开始啊 When does that start?
真缺爱 So needy.
妈咪抱抱 Come to Mommy.
没事 去吧 It's okay, go ahead.
我的儿啊 Oh, my son.
我的娘啊 Oh, my mother.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
* 这艰难的生活 * * It's a hard-knock life *
讲述一名孤儿故事的音乐剧《安妮》中的歌曲
* 这是我们艰难的生活 * * It's the hard-knock life for us *
* 善待不见 只剩哄骗 * * 'Stead of treated, we get tricked *
* 亲吻不得 屁股挨踹 * * 'Stead of kisses, we get kicked *
* 这艰难的生活 * * It's the hard-knock life *
* 无人可诉 * * Got no folks to speak of so *
* 我们在这艰难的生活中煎熬 * * It's the hard-knock row we hoe *
* 毛毯没有 棉毯凑 * * Cotton blankets... 'stead of wool *
* 没饭可吃 肚子空 * * Empty bellies... 'stead of full *
* 这艰难的生活 * * It's a hard-knock life. *