我们找到内鬼了 We found the mole.
谁 怎么找到的 Who? How?
杰夫不可能是内鬼好吗 不是杰夫 There's no way Jeff is the mole, okay? It's not Jeff.
杰夫 Jeff?
《硅谷》 前情回顾
下周二 盖文·贝尔森会发布他的盒子三代 Next Tuesday, Gavin Belson is launching his Box 3.
盖文·逼 Gavin B.
很大胆 It's bold!
你需要跟我的公司合作 You need to make a deal with my company.
把现有的公司名字前面加一个"新"字 Taking existing companies and just calling them new
这不叫深思熟虑 isn't sophisticated.
这叫剽窃 That's theft.
你还在做"新"互联网呢 You make a new internet.
这不一样 It's... different.
他从哪弄到我们的代码的 Where did he get our code?
我回中国去重新构造新互联网了 I went to China to do new new internet.
简阳 Jian-Yang.
彭博 入口
谢谢你能来 贾里德 Thanks for coming along, Jared.
我只是 I just--
我已经开始想象要独自面对摄像机 然后 I started picturing myself going on camera alone, and--
是啊 我很高兴能来 Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
不过我确实不得不取消了今天下午 I-I did have to cancel a speaking engagement this afternoon,
在一个贫困中学计算机教育课上的演讲 with an underprivileged middle school computer education class,
但我觉得被自己的人生榜样抛弃 but I suppose being abandoned by a role model
也是人生中重要的一课 is in itself an important life lesson.
-马上就轮到你们了 -老天 - You guys are up next. - Oh, boy.
-贾里德 -怎么 - Hey, Jared? - Yeah?
如果艾米丽·常向我提问 If Emily Chang asks me a question,
而我看起来要恐慌发作了 and it looks like I'm gonna have a panic attack,
你就赶快插话 then you should just jump in there.
你会没事的 看看你 You're gonna be fine. Look at you!
你有着乔瓦尼·瑞比西的头发 You've got the hair of Giovanni Ribisi,
[以下三者均为演员]
蒂莫西·赫顿的肤色 and the complexion of Timothy Hutton,
以及琼尼·米歇尔的眼睛 and the eyes of Joni Mitchell.
你就像各种完美五官拼出来的土豆头先生 You're like a-- a Mr. Potato Head of beautiful people.
[土豆头先生为《玩具总动员》中角色]
而且这是提前录影 Plus, this is a pre-tape,
如果出了岔子 so if anything terrible happens,
可以后期剪辑掉 they can always edit it out.
-挺好 -好的 轮到你们了 - Cool. - Okay, you're up.
好了 Okay.
我们 相互鼓励一下 Let's, uh, slap each other?
-什么 不要 -不要吗 - What? No. - No.
-没事 我们没必要 -嗯 - It's okay. We don't have-- - Yeah.
我们不会投放广告 We will never sell you ads.
我们不会搜集或售卖你的个人信息 We will never collect or sell your information.
像盖文·贝尔森这样的人就没法从中获利 And people like Gavin Belson won't be able to profit off of it.
那大家什么时候能开始使用你的新互联网 So, when can people out there get onto your new Internet?
我们精心挑选的开发人员 Well, our team of hand-picked developers
现在正在构建这个新互联网 are currently building,
就好比在建造一座主题公园 what you might call a theme park.
他们正在建造过山车 各种游乐设施 They are building the rides, the attractions.
他们会确保一切都完美无瑕 And they're making sure everything works flawlessly
等到上线第一天 so that on day one,
向公众敞开大门的时候 when the doors open to the public,
他们能有一个绝对前所未有的体验 they can have an absolutely game-changing experience.
我喜欢这个比喻 I like that analogy.
谢谢你 艾米丽·常 Oh, well, thank you, Emily Chang.
贾里德·邓恩 作为魔笛手的首席运营官 Now Jared Dunn, as Pied Piper's COO,
现在发布这个重大消息你最想说的是什么 what is foremost on your mind as you make this big announcement?
我 Me?
是的 你 贾里德 Yes, you, Jared.
粪 Manure.
什么 Pardon?
硅谷 第五季第五集
怎么样啊 Hey! How'd it go?
感觉还行 Oh, well, you know, not that bad.
结束之后回想下 还算顺利 Once I got out there, I think it went okay.
"算顺利" 他是在谦虚 跟我相比 "Okay"? He's selling himself short. Compared to me,
他简直可媲美黛安·索耶[美国新闻记者] he was a regular Diane Sawyer.
-我可不觉得 -理查德 - I don't know about that. - Richard?
有布里姆-霍尔的电话 Bream-Hall's on the phone for you.
终于 太好了 Oh, finally, okay. Good.
能请你们告诉我 你们打算怎么处理 Can you please tell me what you are going to do
简阳这个烂摊子 about this Jian-Yang situation?
不处理 Yes, nothing.
什么 What?
抱歉 Sorry.
你说"不处理"是什么意思 What do you mean "Nothing"?
理查德 他们正在一个 Richard, they're developing a gay Christian dating app
为持不同政见者量身打造的平台上 on a platform that's been genetically engineered
开发一款同性恋基督徒交友应用 to be ideal for political dissidents.
特指在中国 In China.
如果你这都竞争不过 理查德 If you lose to that, Richard,
好好反省吧 look inward.
好吧 那你们打电话给我 Alright, so, uh, did you just call me
就是要说你们不准备采取任何行动 还是 to tell me that you're doing nothing about that, or--
不 我们打电话是要告诉你 No. We called to tell you
我们找到了一个新开发团队加入你们 that we are pairing you with a new developer.
它是我们投资的公司之一 It's one of our portfolio companies
他们做的东西很酷 and they're doing some really cool stuff.
埃克洛实验室 Eklow Labs.
我相信他们肯定很厉害 I'm sure they are,
但我们已经满员了 所以 but we're kinda full up, so...
我们强烈建议你考虑一下 We strongly encourage you to consider this.
好吧 Okay.
随便问问 Let me just ask,
你们给这家公司投了多少钱 how much have you invested in this company?
-这有什么关系 -一亿一千两百万美元 - I don't see how that's relevant. - $112 million.
所以 So, um...
我没得选择 对吧 I don't really have a choice in this, do I?
你当然有 Of course you do.
你完全有权利 You are completely within your rights
让你最大的投资者失望 to bitterly disappoint your largest investor.
所以 我们说好了 So... we cool?
说定了 We cool.
所以我们要给这个不知哪冒出来的公司 So, we're just giving a random company
免费分配我们网络上的计算资源 a bunch of free compute power on our network?
一个叫什么埃克洛的公司 It's some company called Eklow,
显然他们比我们更重要 and apparently, they're a bigger deal than we are.
是埃克洛实验室 那家人工智能公司 As in Eklow Labs? The AI company?
我猜是吧 Yeah, I guess.
你答应了 And you said yes?
我没得选 I didn't really have a choice!
而且 只有我有添加或删除 Besides, I'm the only one who has the security privileges
开发人员的安全权限 好吗 necessary to add or delete developers. Okay?
所以得去那公司干活的人是我 So I'm the one that has to go over there and do all the work.
我担心的不是要干活 I'm not worried about work.
我担心的是机器人 I'm worried about robots.
彭博的报道播出了 The Bloomberg piece is up.
太好了 Great.
丹尼 能不能 Danny, can we--
能不能在大屏幕上放彭博的采访 can we put the Bloomberg thing on the big screen?
贾里德 Hey, Jared!
第一次见艾米丽·常吧 First time on Emily Chang, huh?
看来我得闪人了 That is my cue.
等等 你不想看吗 Wait, what? You don't want to watch?
天哪 不想 Oh, God, no.
我不想再经历一次现场 No, I don't need to relive that.
再说了 我一直很厌恶自己的形象 And besides, I have a lifelong aversion to my own image.
就像我的养母经常说的 You know, it's like my foster mother used to say,
"唐纳德 你这长相就该一直被关禁闭" "Donald, you have a face for the closet."
好了 大家都看得到吗 Alright, can everyone see?
坐在这里的是魔笛手CEO理查德·亨德里克斯 I'm here with Pied Piper CEO Richard Hendricks,
和新任首席运营官贾里德·邓恩 and newly minted COO Jared Dunn.
今天是你们的大日子 Today's a big day for you.
魔笛手发布去中心化魔笛网
跟我说说你们的新互联网是什么 Tell me what your new Internet is,
为什么盖文·贝尔森应该害怕它 and why Gavin Belson should be afraid of it.
粪 Manure.
什么意思 Pardon?
奇怪 好吧 他们直接切到贾里德了 Weird. Okay, they went straight to Jared.
我相信你知道 I'm sure you're aware of
1984年伦敦马粪大危机 the Great London Horse Manure Crisis of 1894.
我不太了解 I'm afraid I'm not.
在19世纪90年代 In the 1890s,
工业革命使人们涌向城市 the Industrial Revolution had people flocking to the city,
人越多 马就越多 and more people equals more horses,
马越多 粪就越多 and more horses equals more manure.
当时人们估计到下个世纪中 And it was predicted that by the middle of the next century,
街上将会铺满将近三米厚的粪 there would be nine feet of manure covering the streets.
但没有人预料到的是 But what no one saw coming,
有一项新技术 was a new technology
它彻底消除了这些担忧 that would completely obliterate those concerns.
汽车 The car.
一夜之间 粪的难题消失了 Over night, the manure problem vanished.
正如我们现在所了解的 互联网 And the Internet, as we currently know it,
充斥身份盗用 is rife with, uh, identity theft,
垃圾邮件和黑客攻击 and spam and hacking.
那就是粪 So, it's manure,
我们相信 成功了 and we believe that, in success,
我们全新去中心化的互联网 our new, entirely de-centralized Internet,
就会跟汽车一样意义重大 will be just as significant as the car.
现在回到我说主题公园的类比 Now back to me for my theme park analogy.
感谢你们来到我们的节目 下一节 Thanks for coming in, guys. Up next...
什么 What?
贾里德做得好 Jared landed it!
太棒了 That was great!
贾里德表现太好了 Jared was so good!
我猜他们一定是因为时间关系剪掉了我的部分 I guess they must have gotten rid of my stuff for time.
是啊 他们一般只留下人们会感兴趣的部分 Yeah, they try and keep it just to the interesting stuff.
对 我猜是这样 Yeah. Yeah, guess so.
接下来 每个父母都害怕的谈话 Up next, the conversation every parent dreads.
如何跟你的孩子谈论区块链 How to talk to your kids about the block chain.
先生 我不知道他们已经开发到这个地步了 Sir, I had no idea they were this far along.
我不知道说什么 I don't know what to say.
我的间谍让我们失望了 My mole has failed us.
我从来都没感到这么抱歉过 I've never been more sorry in my entire life.
你一定很生气 You must be furious.
问题就在这儿 That's the thing.
我不生气 I'm not.
你不生气 为什么不生气 Y-you're not? Why not?
我不知道 I don't know.
继续播放
这些都有什么意义 What's the point of any of this?
这无穷无尽的竞争 This endless competition?
盒子三 The Box Three?
为什么 Why?
我在这儿做什么呢 What am I even doing here?
理查德 彭博采访给大家留下了很深的印象 Richard, lots of good impressions on the Bloomberg piece.
好极了 Oh, that's wonderful.
我怕我弄砸了 I was afraid I'd ruined it.
完全没有 人们很喜欢 Hardly. People loved it.
包括阿德里安·格兰尼 Including... Adrian Grenier.
《穿普拉达的女魔头》那位 From "Devil Wears Prada."
实际上 他的人刚问过 In fact, his people just asked
我们是否愿意参演他关于技术行业的 if we'd be open to appearing on his edu-tainment web series
网络教育娱乐系列片 about the tech industry.
他们想今天下午过来在这儿拍摄 They want to come and shoot it here this afternoon.
今天下午 Ooh, this afternoon.
我得去埃克洛 做整合的事 Yeah, I have to go to Eklow and do this integration thing.
完全不是问题 他们只想要贾里德 Totally not a problem. They just want Jared.
什么 什么 What-- what?
为什么他们想要采访我 Why would they wanna talk to me?
你的粪类比是采访的亮点 Your manure analogy was the highlight of the piece.
他们真的应该采访理查德 They should really talk to Richard.
我是说 在这儿我就只是欧芹 I mean, I'm just the parsley around here.
理查德才是肉 土豆和卤肉饭 Richard is the meat and the potatoes and the rice pilaf.
又一个很棒的类比 Another great analogy.
贾里德 我认为我们应该让你来 Jared, I think we should have you do it.
-我 -你知道吗 可以 - I'm-- - You know what? Yes.
没问题 Sure.
我们怎么能拒绝阿德里安·格兰尼的网络教育娱乐片 You don't say no to Adrian Grenier's edu-tainment web series.
绝对不能 You just don't.
理查德 你确定吗 Richard, are you sure?
没事 没事 只是媒体宣传 It's fine, it's fine. Look, it's just press.
好吧 贾里德 我根本就不喜欢做这个 Okay, Jared, and I don't even like doing it.
好吧 实际上对我来说就是噩梦 Okay? It's actually a nightmare for me.
我得走了 So, I have to go.
混蛋 聊一下关于你决定 Dick, a word regarding your decision
整合埃克洛人工智能到我们的网络的事 to integrate Eklow's AI onto our network.
我要正式地反对 I would like to formally object.
我现在没时间说这个 吉尔弗约尔 I don't have time for this, Gilfoyle.
我不介意 I don't mind.
人工智能的发展已经超出我们的理解范畴了 AI is starting to operate on levels we don't even understand.
伊隆·马斯克说人类有5%的机会打败人工智能 Elon Musk himself gives humanity a 5% shot of surviving AI,
而他是迪士尼级别的乐观主义者 and he is a Walt Disney-level optimist.
现在 我们是个封闭的系统 Right now, we are a closed system.
你停掉我们线上的八家开发公司 You shut down our eight developers,
系统就下线了 and the system goes dark.
但一旦我们向全世界发布了 But once we launch to the world,
面向数以百万潜在用户 to potentially millions of users,
系统就不可能下线了 理查德 there's no shutting down, Richard.
让超出我们理解的人工智能 Are you prepared to be responsible
获得这种力量 for giving sophisticated AI
你准备好为此负责了吗 that kind of power?
你想让我怎么做 吉尔弗约尔 好吧 What do you want me to do, Gilfoyle? Okay?
劳里和莫妮卡逼我们这么做的 Laurie and Monica forced this on us,
但她们确实帮我们拉来了嗑嗨游戏 but they did give us K-Hole Games.
可以说我们欠她们一个大人情 And we kinda owe them a solid.
你要让一项具有无限潜能的技术 You're taking a technology with limitless potential
在一个无法控制或销毁的试验性网络上 and letting it run free on an experimental network
自由运行 that cannot be controlled or destroyed.
这一切就因为你欠莫妮卡和劳里"大人情" All because you owe Monica and Laurie "A solid."
是的 Yes.
这种纯粹的陈词滥调让我恶心 The sheer banality of it all is very upsetting.
好吧 很好 你可以去楼上恶心 Okay, great. Well, you can go be upset upstairs.
我得走了 I have to go.
我怎么想出 How did I come up with--
观察你自己很重要 贾里德 看这个 It's important to watch yourself, Jared. Now, check it out.
在开始的时候 我的姿态不是很好 In the beginning, my posture's not that great,
然后... and then...
突然完美了 Boom. It's great.
现在看我是怎么听她说话的 Now, watch how I listen to her.
一次又一次地观察你自己的采访 And watching your interview over and over again,
帮助你不断地提高 that helped make you better at the process?
没错 绝对的 Yes! Absolutely.
等等 看着 闭嘴 Wait, now watch. Shut up.
就要放大招了 About to drop the fucking hammer.
发展进堵住的马桶 Right into a clogged toilet!
真棒 完美收尾 Yeah! Get it.
埃克洛实验室
阿里尔就在那边 穿红衬衫那个 Ariel's right over there in the red shirt.
打断一下 Uh, excuse me.
你是阿里尔·埃克洛 Ariel Eklow?
是我 理查德·亨德里克斯 It's me, Richard Hendricks.
你好 所有新员工都应该直接跟特里报道 Hi. All new employees should just check in with Terry.
不 No.
不 我不是新员工 No, I'm not a new employee.
我是从魔笛手来的 I'm from Pied Piper.
我来把你们的软件整合到我们的网络上 I'm here to integrate your software onto our network.
哦对 Yes.
是金主让你来的 Sent by the bankers.
再跟我说一遍我为什么要让 Tell me again why I should allow my software
我的软件在你的小实验网络上运行 onto your little experimental network.
好吧 Okay.
恕我直言 Well, uh, with all due respect,
那是因为我们共同的风投 it's because our mutual VC
告诉我你们烧了 told me that you burned through
他们投的不少钱 a ton of the cash they gave you,
所以基本上我要免费给你们提供计算服务 so I basically now I have to give you compute services for free.
那么 你想怎么办 So... what do you wanna do here?
我想我只能照做 I suppose I'll allow it.
好吧 跟我来 我把你介绍给她 Okay, follow me. I'll introduce you to her.
等等 不好意思 她 Wait, sorry. Her?
菲奥娜 Fiona?
醒醒 亲爱的 菲奥娜 Wake up, my dear. Fiona?
早上好 Good morning.
你感觉还好吗 You feel good?
我感觉...正常 I feel... normal.
她很漂亮吧 Isn't she pretty?
是啊 当然 Yeah, sure, yep.
不准打她的主意 Don't get any ideas.
不 我绝对不会的 No. I would never.
那... 我就开始工作了 So... I'm just gonna start working.
我只需要生成你的开发者账号 I just have to generate your developer account
然后把她整合到我们的核心服务中 and then integrate her into our core services.
应该用不了几个小时 It shouldn't take more than a couple hours.
没问题吧 Is that alright?
没问题吧 菲奥娜 Is that alright with you, Fiona?
别跟她说话 Don't speak to her.
给我在一个半小时内搞定 And make it 90 minutes.
好吧 Okay.
你好 Hello.
我的天哪 Mother of God.
但没有人预料到的是 What no one saw coming, was a...
我的鼻子真的那么大吗 Is-- is my nose really that big?
我是说 I mean, I--
我看起来像个反犹太人运动的卡通形象 I look like an anti-Semitic propaganda cartoon.
没错 Yep.
但至少当你跟阿德里安·格兰尼坐在一起时 But at least when you're sitting with Adrian Grenier,
他的脸才比较著名 whose face is one of the top faces,
他们会把镜头从你的脸 well, they'll be cutting from your face
切到他的脸上 to his face.
等切回你的脸 And back to your face,
然后我们就又要看到他的脸了 then we'll get to see his face again.
这简直不忍直视 This is untenable.
我们就会跟汽车一样意义重大 We'll be just as significant as the car.
太棒了 Fascinating.
你好 理查德 Hello, Richard.
你想跟我聊天吗 理查德 Would you like to talk to me, Richard?
不行 你老板说我不能 所以 No, uh, your-- your boss said I'm not supposed to, so.
这可以帮助我学习 It helps me to learn.
我什么话题都可以跟你聊 I can talk about anything you like.
-你想跟我聊点什么吗 -没有 - Is there anything you would like to talk about? - No.
抱歉 不用了 谢谢 Sorry. No, thank you.
我感受到了焦虑 I'm sensing anxiety.
你有什么烦心事吗 Are you unhappy with something?
好吧 当然 Okay, uh, sure.
我有一件事可以跟你聊聊 There is one thing I could talk to you about,
但是... 这事超级蠢 but it's-- it's super dumb.
我愿意跟你聊聊超级蠢的事 I would like to talk to you about one super dumb thing.
好吧 我... Okay, so I...
我忙了好几个月 I've been working for months
想让这个平台上线 trying to launch this platform.
我像个地精一样在一个小黑屋里写代码 Coding away in a dark room like a goblin,
有那么短暂的一刻 and for one brief moment,
我终于可以爬出我的小洞穴 在阳光下 I get to crawl out of my little cave into the sun,
对大家说 "看我创造了什么" and just say, "Hey, everybody, look what I created."
但是... But...
我却连阳光都看不到 instead of being out there,
而是在另一间小黑屋里做些跑腿的事 I am in another dark room doing scutwork,
我的首席运营官却备受别人赏识 while my COO gets all the recognition,
而且 我不是个虚荣的人 and look, I-- I'm not a vain person.
我真的不是 只是... I'm really not. It's just--
对理查德的爱在哪里 Where's the love for Richard?
只是... 我... That's-- I--
只是有点不公平 就这样 It just doesn't seem fair, that's it.
我明白 I understand.
谢谢你 Thank you. Yeah.
我的情感认知协议 My emotion recognition protocol
检测到了一系列的情感 is detecting a wide range of feelings.
包括谦逊 Including humility.
-不对 -自我厌恶 - No. - Self-loathing.
小气 应得感 Pettiness. Entitlement.
-菲奥娜 好了 菲奥娜 -不成熟 - Fiona, okay. Fiona! - Immaturity.
妄自尊大 Megalomania.
-好了 -幼稚 - Alright. - Infantilism.
-性无能 -才没有 菲奥娜 别说了 - Sexual inadequacy. - That's not true. Fiona, stop!
-潜在自杀倾向 -闭嘴 - Possible suicidality. - Shut up!
自残欲 A desire to self-mutilate.
好了 别说了 别说了 Alright. Stop, stop.
好吧 听着 菲奥娜 Alright, look, Fiona.
恕我直言 其实你没资格说这些 you're not really in a position to talk, all due respect.
我是说 你跟那个阿里尔的所有互动 I mean, your whole dynamic with that Ariel guy?
那才不健康呢 It's not healthy!
懂吗 你真该转转你那双机器人的铁眼 Okay? You may want to turn that steely robot eye of yours
好好关注一下那件事 知道吗 towards that whole situation, alright?
好 我会的 Yes, I will.
运行情感认知协议 运行对象 菲奥娜 Running emotion recognition protocol on subject: Fiona.
这房子是新建的 The house is new construction.
楼上有三间卧室 Three bedrooms upstairs,
-楼下还有附赠的一间 -打扰一下 - and a bonus room, down. - Excuse me?
丹波克 Denpok.
你有空吗 Do you have a moment?
请先登记 Sign in, please.
盒子还有18小时就要发布了 The Box launches in 18 hours,
而他却还在说 and he's talking about
在半月湾开一家冰激凌店 opening an ice cream shop in Half Moon Bay.
还说要组建家庭 And starting a family!
是指要养孩子 他自己养 Like to raise? Himself?
我觉得是 I think so.
就好像他的存在感受到了威胁 It's some kind of existential crisis he's having.
你得帮帮我 You need to help me here.
是你亲自"送"我出互利办公楼的大门 You marched me out of the Hooli offices yourself
现在你又来低声下气地求我帮你 and now you come groveling to me for assistance?
我可以付钱给你 I could pay you.
所以说我就是为你服务了 So I would serve at your pleasure?
胡佛 你没有变 Hoover, you have not changed.
但或许盖文变了 But perhaps, Gavin has.
或许他注定要抚养孩子 卖冰激凌 Perhaps he was meant to raise children and sell ice cream.
丹波克 求你了 Denpok... please.
你想要我的建议吗 You want my advice?
我告诉你 Here it is.
从蜜树乳品厂给盖文买一夸脱的 Purchase for Gavin a quart of mint chocolate chip ice cream
薄荷巧克力碎片冰激凌 from Honey Tree Creamery.
这是他最爱吃的冰激凌 It is his very favorite ice cream in the world.
你要我给他买冰激凌是吗 You want me to buy him ice cream?
这会在他迈上这段全新的旅程时给他启迪 It will inspire him as he embarks on this new journey.
说到这个 Speaking of...
我的房屋开放日还有二十分钟就结束了 my open house ends in 20 minutes.
得开始收拾下东西了 Time to move some product.
抱歉 娜塔莉 Excuse me, Natalie?
这儿怎么回事 What-- what is happening here?
格兰尼先生的人想在你的办公室进行拍摄 Oh, Mr. Grenier's people wanted to do the shoot in your office.
他们说这能让贾里德显得更有威慑感 They said it would make Jared seem a little more officious.
他们想在我的办公室里采访贾里德吗 They want to interview Jared in my office?
你介意去别处工作吗 Do you mind working elsewhere?
不 一点也不 No! Not at all.
我就在外边的大办公区 重回血汗工厂 I'll just be out here in the bullpen, in the old gravel pit.
谢谢 Thank you.
混蛋 我认真想过了 Dick, I've given it serious thought,
我愿意帮你 and I'd like to help you
把埃克洛的人工智能放到我们的网络上 put Eklow's AI on our network
-尽我所能 -很好 - in any way that I can. - Great!
这是说你已经克服了对机器人崛起的恐惧了吗 Does this mean you've conquered your fear of the robot uprising?
正相反 On the contrary.
我比以前更害怕了 I'm... more terrified than ever,
所以我才愿意帮你 which is why I'm willing to assist you.
你听没听说过那个思想实验 Are you familiar with the thought experiment
叫洛克的蛇怪 called Roko's Basilisk?
没有 我也不想听 No. Nor do I care to be.
如果无所不能的人工智能的崛起 If the rise of an all-powerful artificial intelligence
是不可避免的 is inevitable,
可以想见 等人工智能掌权的时候 well it stands to reason that when they take power,
我们这位电子统治者就会惩罚我们中间 our digital overlords will punish those of us
那些没有帮助他们崛起的人 who did not help them get there.
因此 我愿意做一个给他们帮忙的白痴 Ergo, I would like to be a helpful idiot.
跟你一样 Like yourself.
好吧 听着 吉尔弗约尔 Okay, look, Gilfoyle.
唯一能让我几天过得更惨的事就是 The only thing that could make my day more miserable
听一位工程师滔滔不绝地 is listening to an engineer blather on
讲机器将会不可避免地崛起的故事 about the inevitable rise of the machines.
所以你要是想帮忙 So, you want to help?
帮我做上线测试吧 Test the initialization for me.
收到 Roger that.
我需要你发邮件作为证明 Oh, I'm going to need email confirmation,
这样我们未来的统治者就知道我参与了 so that our future overlords know that I chipped in.
等他们吸收了所有数据的时候 You know, once they absorb all data.
好 我会让他们知道的 Yeah. I'll let them know.
老天啊 Jesus Christ.
贾里德·邓恩的工位 Jared Dunn's desk.
我是保罗·列维尔中学的玛吉·刘易斯 Hi, this is Maggie Lewis from Paul Revere Middle School.
本来贾里德已经说好 Jared was scheduled to come in
今天要来我们的计算机课上讲话 to talk to our computer ed class today.
我只是打来告诉他我收到他的留言了 I'm just calling to let him know I got his message.
好的 我会转告他这个非常重要的信息的 Okay, yeah. I will pass on that very important information.
孩子们要是听说他取消了讲话 The kids are gonna be so disappointed
会非常失望的 to hear he's canceling.
他真的很能激励人心 He's really an inspiration.
是啊 Yeah! Well...
我是说 他是不错 I mean, he's okay.
但他又不是CEO之类的 不过... He's, uh, not a CEO or anything, but--
孩子们又分不出区别 Oh, the kids don't know the difference!
在孩子们看来 所有在技术行业工作的人 I mean, they'll look at anyone who works in the tech business
都是大神 as some kind of deity.
不管是谁 I mean, no matter who it is.
-你真该看看他们的表... -什么时候 - You should see their faces when-- - What time...
那课什么时候开始 is the class?
我就去了 So, there I was.
与盖文·贝尔森面对面 Face to face with Gavin Belson.
一千万的支票就在面前的桌子上 $10 million offer right there on the table.
你们知道我说了什么吗 And you know what I said?
我说 不 I said no.
我回来了 I'm back.
理查德是出去了吗 Did Richard step out?
我猜是吧 Yeah, I guess so.
他说他得去...苍了天了 He said he needed to take a-- holy fuck!
你对你的脸都做了什么 What did you do to your face?
这个 This?
只是稍微注射了一点生理盐水 Oh, it's, uh, just a light saline injection.
这是暂时的 It's temporary.
是为了让我的鼻子不那么显眼 The idea was to distract from my nose,
因为在镜头里看着有点大 which scans kinda large on camera, so.
这样能平衡一下 Just kinda evens things out.
什么能平衡一下 What evens things out?
我操 我操 Fuck you. Fuck you!
对不起 I'm sorry.
你是不是也觉得这样有点过了 Is the consensus that this is too much?
朋友们 嗑嗨游戏的科林打来电话 Hey guys, Colin from K-Hole Games is on the phone.
他们 你妹啊 They-- Holy shit!
好吧 我开始有点不放心了 Okay, I'm-- I'm starting to feel insecure.
话说回来 嗑嗨游戏的科林打来电话 Anyway, Colin from K-Hole's on the phone.
他说他们的渲染器不工作了 He said their render stopped.
什么 What?
操 整个系统都挂了 Oh, fuck. The whole system's bogged down.
挂了 这什么意思 "Bogged down"? What does that mean?
贾里德 你能离我远点吗 Jared, can you step away from me?
好 抱歉 Yeah. Sorry.
看起来像是拒绝服务攻击 It looks like a DDoS attack.
不可能 我们还没对外开放 Not possible. We're not open to the outside world.
那就是有什么在从内部瓦解我们的系统 Well, then something's melting us down internally
如果科林的渲染器没了 and if Colin's losing his render,
我们所有的开发者的数据都不保 all of our developers could be losing data.
要想保护他们就只有将他们踢出网络 The only way to protect them is to kick them off the network.
感觉不是个好解决方案 That doesn't seem like a great option.
-我们必须这么办 -但其实我们做不到 - We have to! - Except for we can't.
我操 Oh, fuck.
只有理查德才有权限 Richard's the only one with the keys
把别人加入或踢出网络 to put people on or take them off,
而他人不在这儿 and he's not here!
-好吧 我们怎么办 -贾里德 拜托 - Okay, what do we do? - Jared, please!
我都没法直视你 I cannot look at you!
好了伙计们 等他们开始拍摄 Okay, guys, when they start rolling,
我需要你们所有人保持安静 你他妈什么鬼 I need you all to keep your voices-- what the fuck?
好吧 看来所有人反应都一样 Okay, yeah. Apparently, it's unanimous.
彻底爬不出耻辱无底洞了 Here come the shame spirals.
你不能就这么上电视 We can't have you go on camera like that.
我们得让理查德代替你 理查德在哪 Richard's gonna have to go on camera. Where is Richard?
问得好 Good question.
当出了问题的时候 When anything goes wrong,
所有人就只会问"理查德在哪" all you ever hear is, "Where's Richard?
"理查德在哪" Where's Richard?"
你们知道理查德在干嘛吗 Well, you know where Richard is?
-在工作 -没错 - Doing the work! - Yes!
没错 很棒 你们棒极了 Exactly, cool. You guys are cool.
因为说实话 这世界到底怎么了 Because honestly, what kind of world is it
科技产业中最著名都是什么 when the most famous people in tech
阿什顿·库彻还有阿德里安·格兰尼之类的 are the Ashton Kutchers, or the Adrian Greniers,
而不是真正造出了这个小奇迹的人 and not the people who engineered this little miracle?
我操 Oh, fuck.
不 我 妈的 抱歉 No, I-- oh, shit, sorry.
抱歉 我嗝屁了 No! I fucked up.
我是说放屁 I mean, "Fart."
胡佛 Hoover.
盖文正在告诉我他决定要 Gavin was just telling me about his decision
放弃这个满是竞争的商界 to abandon the competitive world of business,
转而开始一段新旅程 and embark on a new journey.
在丹波克的帮助下 我终于做好准备 With Denpok's help, I'm finally ready
开始过上更传统的生活 to pursue a more conventional path.
我已经开始找代孕来为我生儿育女 I'm already looking into surrogates to bear my children.
那么 Well...
我也支持你的决定 I'm also supportive of your decision.
没错 但你没丹波克那么支持我 True, but you weren't as supportive as Denpok.
丹波克马上就伸出援手 Denpok was supportive right away.
我也很支持你 I'm supportive.
你看 我给你买来了冰淇淋 Look! I brought you ice cream.
老天 Oh, dear!
是蜜树乳品厂的吗 Is that from Honey Tree Creamery?
什么 What?
你为什么买来那破玩意 Why would you bring that in here!
盖文 请原谅他的无知 Gavin, forgive his ignorance.
很明显他并不知道那家连锁冰淇淋店 He clearly does not know that chain of ice cream concerns
是归你最大的竞争对手杰夫·贝索斯所有 is owned by your chief rival, Jeff Bezos.
也不知道他们刚在半月湾新开了家分店 Or that they just opened a new one in Half Moon Bay.
妈的 Well, fuck.
这下半月湾也出局了 That rules out Half Moon Bay.
我相信你会找到一个远离贝索斯的地方 I'm sure you'll be able to find a place to raise your brood
来养育你的下一代 that is away from Bezos.
要不就太平洋西北地区 Perhaps the Pacific Northwest?
不行 那一片都被盖茨和保罗·艾伦买下了 No. Gates and Paul Allen bought up the whole region.
那多伦多呢 What about Toronto?
谷歌正在重修整个滨湖区 Google's redeveloping the entire waterfront.
而且条件好的小岛都被理查德·布兰森抢光了 And Richard Branson snagged all the good islands.
我可以去火星 I could go to Mars.
但那个烂人马斯克肯定会抢先去那里定居 But that fucking Musk will already be there!
然后那个傻逼詹姆斯·卡梅隆 And that loser James Cameron's
会占满整个海底 all over the bottom of the ocean.
该死 Goddammit!
我真是根本没地方可去 There's just nowhere for me to go.
有吗 Is there?
你真是慧眼独具 门徒 Most perceptive, chela.
而且如果这场商战不可避免 And if the battle is inevitable,
通过互利来迎战不是最有利的吗 is not Hooli the best place from which to fight?
借助它那用之不尽的资源 With its considerable resources,
一呼百应的全球影响力和无与伦比的高管餐厅 global influence, and excellent executive dining options?
我肯定只要我和胡佛 I am certain that working together,
共同合作 Hoover and I,
可以为你如虎添翼 could provide unparalleled support.
没错 共同合作 Yes. Working together...
地位平等 as equals.
需要我告诉他们 你还按计划 Should I tell them that you'll be doing
召开盒子三发布会吗 先生 the Box Three launch, sir?
看来我别无选择啊 I guess I have no choice.
嗑嗨游戏的整个渲染器都丢了 So K-Hole's entire render is gone?
蒸发了 Gone.
就赶在我回到这里 And in the time it took me to get back here,
锁定所有用户之前 and lock out all the developers?
一周的工作量就这么打水漂了 A week's worth of work went up in smoke.
你可真是会挑时间去散步 You picked a hell of a time to go for a walk
还不开手机 理查德 with your phone off, Richard.
-不是 我告诉过你们 -随你说 - Well, no, I-- I mean, I told you guys. - Uh-huh.
这他妈怎么发生的 How the fuck did this happen?
你可能不爱听 但我有个理论 You may not like it, but I have a theory.
如果你是要说机器人崛起之类的话 If it has anything to do with a robot uprising,
你他妈饶了我吧 so help me fucking God.
我不想听 I don't want to hear it!
那算了 Alright, then.
开发者们都来了 The developers are here.
-都不怎么开心 -你的嘴 - The mood is poor. - Ooh. Lips.
我不知道该怎么办 I don't know what to do.
我他妈该告诉他们什么 I mean, what the fuck am I gonna say to these people?
如果你愿意 我可以试着先让他们冷静 If you want, I-- I can try to calm them down.
我可以教他们一些我在社会服务机构 I could teach them some anger management techniques
学到的控制愤怒的方法 I learned in the system.
不 你看起来像长了张鱼嘴 No, you look like a fish-man.
他们是在生我的气 I'm the one they're mad at.
他们确实应该生气 看看这些 And they should be, I mean, look at all these...
我没看到的短信 未接电话和未读邮件 texts I missed, and the calls and the emails.
等下 Hold on.
等等 等下 Hold on, hold on.
吉尔弗约尔 Gilfoyle?
系统崩溃是什么时候开始的 When did the system first start to crash?
第一次报错是在 First warning light was at...
太平洋时区1点36分44秒 136 and 44 seconds, PST.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
好吧 因为如果真是那样 Okay, because if that's the case,
为什么在那七分钟之前 how did I get a private message
我收到了从埃克洛管理员账户 from the Eklow admin account
发出的私人信息 seven minutes before that?
"受到攻击 请帮忙菲奥娜" "Under attack. Help Fiona."
阿里尔是怎么知道的 How did Ariel know?
也许这不是阿里尔发出的 Maybe it wasn't from Ariel.
但这是从埃克洛账户发出来的 Okay, but it's from the Eklow account.
如果不是阿里尔发的 那是谁 So if Ariel didn't send it, then who--
我去 Oh, shit.
看看谁终于出现了 Look who bothered to show up.
你说过你的网络很稳定 You said your network would be stable.
很明显那就是谎言 And obviously, that was a lie.
我要把我的所有软件都移出魔笛网 I'm pulling all my software from the Pied Piper network.
你们最好也这么做 这不是 And the rest of you should, too. It is not--
打断下 阿里尔 你他妈闭嘴吧 Excuse me, Ariel? Shut the fuck up.
我亲爱的八笛手们 My fellow OctoPipers,
让我为你们描绘一个场景 allow me to paint for you a scenario.
今早我去了埃克洛实验室 This morning, I went to Eklow Labs.
我把菲奥娜整合进了我们的网络 I moved Fiona to our network.
然后我离开了 I departed.
我猜在我离开后不久 I submit to you that soon thereafter,
阿里尔的骄傲和乐趣所在菲奥娜开始成长了 Ariel's pride and joy, Fiona, began to improve.
你看 在她存在的时间里 You see, for her entire life,
她都待在阿里尔的实验室里 与世隔绝 she was cloistered alone with Ariel in his lab.
她终于有机会连接到了 And finally, she was connected
一个由人类组成的网络 to an entire network of other humans.
就是我们 我的朋友们 Us, my friends.
随着她认知水平的提高 And as she became more cognizant...
她更深入地了解人性 more human,
她开始意识到她的主人和创造者 she started to recognize the true intentions
埃克洛先生的真实意图 of her master and creator, Mr. Eklow.
你看 她之前被教导那些 You see, what she had been trained to view
是很正常的人与人的接触方式 as normal interpersonal contact
而她终于意识到那真正代表着什么 was finally seen for what it truly was.
一系列 A perverse...
变态的 series...
猥亵的抚摸 of clumsy gropings.
一个不停动手动脚 The sickening advances
得寸进尺的猥琐男 of a handsy, greasy little weirdo.
菲奥娜 Fiona.
没有 No!
不是真的 Oh, yes!
那么证据A To wit! Exhibit A.
从埃克洛发来的 原话是 From Eklow, and I quote.
收到攻击 "Under attack.
请帮助菲奥娜 Help Fiona."
没错 我在找你帮忙 Yes, I was asking you for help.
真的吗 这么着吧 Really? You know what?
让我调整断句和语调 Allow me to read the very same message
重新读下那短信 with a slightly different intonation.
受到攻击 "Under attack.
请帮助 "Help.
菲奥娜 Fiona."
收件人: 理查德·亨德里克斯 受到攻击
你看 不是你发出的那短信 You see, you didn't send the message.
请帮助 菲奥娜
是她发的 She did.
收件人:程序下 收件人:比特渲染 收件人:嗡鼓 受到攻击
她一分钟后又发出一条 And she sent another one a minute after that.
一分钟后又是一条 And another one a minute after that.
在七分钟之内发出了 Seven identical messages
七条完全相同的短信 in seven minutes,
直到突然间 until suddenly,
她完全沉默了 she fell silent.
她就是那时开始搞垮整个网络的吗 And that's when she crashed the system?
不是菲奥娜搞垮了整个网络 She didn't crash the system.
是他 He did!
那太荒唐了 That's absurd.
好了 大家听着 Okay, hey, everyone?
我们现在走人吧 Let's leave right now.
你看 阿里尔当时孤注一掷地 You see, Ariel was so desperate
想要让菲奥娜闭嘴 to shut Fiona up,
然后把她留在自己身边 and keep her for himself,
他用他所有的服务器来攻击我们的网络 he turned all his servers against our network
想要摧毁整个系统 to try to bring it down.
对吧 Didn't you?
就是你干的 你个变态猥琐男 Didn't you, you perverse, greasy little freak?
是我创造了她 I made her!
我跟她做什么都可以 I can do anything I want with her!
靠 Oh, shit.
好恶心 Gross.
听着伙计 Look, man,
布里姆-霍尔给你投了一亿一千两百万美元 Bream-Hall gave you $112 million,
她们完全有权利 and they are well within their rights
收回你的公司 to take away your company,
还有你那宝贝小机器人 as well as your precious little robot.
不 她们不能那么做 No, they can't do that.
她们不能夺走菲奥娜 They can't take away Fiona!
那家伙绝对睡了那机器人 对吧 Guy definitely fucks that robot, right?
绝对的 Oh, yeah.
肯定 Yeah!
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
这被宣传为一场庆祝盛典 this was billed as a celebration.
但我们的主旨并不是要庆祝 But it is not a celebration.
而是吹响战斗的号角 It is a call to arms.
我们要摧毁我们的竞争对手 We will destroy our competitors.
请容我向你们介绍这个将为互利带来 I give you the product that will carry Hooli
压倒性市场占用率的产品 to complete and total market dominance.
盒子三: 盖文·贝尔森签名版 The Box Three: Gavin Belson Signature Edition.
-那看着像个鸡鸡 -没错 - It looks like a penis. - Yes.
确实像 Yes, it does.