不 不… 够了 No, no, we're done. We're done, man.
斯娃婶婶 别喊了 Aunt Silv, stop yelling.
如果你告诉过我你要素面条 All I'm saying is, if you had told me vegetarian lasagna...
我就会给你做素的了 ...I would've made vegetarian lasagna.
好吧 肉都在第三层 Well, the meat's only every third layer.
也许你能把它们刮下来 Maybe you could scrape.
罗斯 你真的把所有婴儿书都读了？ Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
嗯 你可以把我塞到子宫里的任何地方 Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus...
用不着指南针 ...no compass...
我都能从里面爬出来… ...and I could find my way out like that.
噢 太棒了… Ooh, this is cool.
书上说在有些地方 人们真的吃胎盘 It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.
这酸奶算是吃不下去了 And we're done with the yogurt.
对不起 Sorry.
我是为了帮你 我可不是承包宴席的 Aunt Silv, I did this as a favor. I am not a caterer.
那你让我拿这一打面怎么办？ What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?
说话真好听 斯娃婶婶 Nice talk, Aunt Silv.
你用这张嘴亲弗莱蒂叔叔吗？ You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
嗨 罗斯 Hey, Ross, listen.
你现在知道了 你的宝贝就这么大？ Do you know that right now your baby is only this big?
- 这是你孩子 - 嘿 - This is your baby. - Heh.
你好 爸爸 Hi, Daddy.
你好 Hello.
为什么你不和妈咪一起住？ How come you don't live with Mommy?
为什么妈咪和另一个女人一起住？ How come Mommy lives with that other lady?
什么是女同性恋？ What's a lesbian?
亲爱的 你能说的 泊科农斯 Honey, you can say it. It's Poconos. Poconos.
就像 泊科-阿-农斯 It's like "poke a nose."
啊 Ah.
戳一下鼻子 Poke a nose.
啵 啵 啵 Blah, blah, blah.
-那么 我听见泊科农斯了吗？ -是的 - So did I hear "Poconos"? - Yes.
我妹妹让我们去她那度周末 My sister's giving us her place for the weekend.
呜呼 第一次周末结伴出游 Woo-hoo. First weekend away together.
-是啊 进展了一大步 -我知道… - Yeah, it's a big step. - I know.
啊 就是个周末 没什么 It's just a weekend. Big deal.
不是说就玩玩不认真的吗？ Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh?
这… 该 Shouldn't it be...
玩完了吧 现在？ ...flung by now?
我想 我们已远远超出玩的范围了 I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing.
我现在的感觉只有在 I'm feeling things I've only read about...
丹尼尔•斯仃的书里才找得到 ...in Danielle Steel books, you know?
我是说 当我和他在一起的时候 我完全 完全地… I mean, when I'm with him, I'm just totally, totally...
恶心 我本能的恶心 Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.
我该怎么办？打电话给移民局？ What am I supposed to do, huh? Call lmmigration?
我可以打电话给移民局 I could call lmmigration.
我喜欢孩子 他们的小鞋 I love babies with their little baby shoes...
小脚指头 小手… ...and their little baby toes and their little hands...
好了 你别再这样了 Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...
永远不要 ...forever.
需要新桌子了 Need a new table.
你这么想？ You think?
- 嗨 嗨 进来 - 你好 - Hey, hey, hey. Come on in. - Hey. Hello.
我把书都拿回来了 I brought the books...
摩尼卡送爱心 送你这些面条 ...and Monica sends her love along with this lasagna.
哦 太好了 Oh, great.
是素的吗 苏珊不吃肉 Is it vegetarian? Because Susan doesn't eat meat.
我肯定是素的… I'm pretty sure that it is. Yeah.
我拿到超声波结果了 So I got the results of the amnio today.
告诉我 都还… Oh, tell me. Is everything?
完全彻底的健康 Totally and completely healthy.
- 太棒了 太棒了 - 哈哈 - Oh, that's great. That is great. - Ha, ha.
你和苏珊什么时候认识的休伊•路易斯？ Hey. When did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
那是我们的朋友塔尼亚 Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
当然是你们的朋友塔尼亚 Of course it's your friend Tanya.
你不想知道性别吗？ Don't you wanna know about the sex?
性？ The sex?
光想你和苏珊一起的样子 我就够呛了 Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together.
你要再把塔尼亚加进来 呃… But when you throw in Tanya...
孩子的性别 罗斯 The sex of the baby, Ross.
你知道孩子的性别了？ Oh. You know the sex of the baby?
- 嗯哼 - 噢… - Uh-huh. - Oh, oh, oh!
- 想知道吗？ - 不 - Do you want to know? - No, no, no.
我不想 绝对不想 No, I don't want to know. Absolutely not.
我想你知道 你应该到时侯低头一看 No, I think you shouldn't know until you look down there...
然后说 "哦 带那个的" ...and see, "Oh, there it is."
或不带的… Or isn't.
- 你好 罗斯 - 苏珊 - Oh. Hello, Ross. - Susan.
那么？ So?
你知道了吗？ So did you hear?
是的 我们知道了 一切OK Yes, we did. Everything's A-okay.
噢 那太… Oh, that's so cool.
真的是… It really is. Ha, ha.
我们知道那个…？ Do we know?
- 是的 当然知道了 它是个… - 嘿… - We certainly do. It's going to be a... - Hey, hey!
你好？ Ho, ho! Hello?
这有人不想知道 就站在这呢 See, a guy who doesn't wanna know standing right here.
噢 那么 我们猜的对吗？ Oh. Ha, ha. Uh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
- 唔 - 啊 - Mm-hm. - Aah!
什么？ What?
我们以为是男是女？ Okay, what did we think it' was gonna be? No, no, no.
我不想知道 不想 I don't want to know. Don't want to know. Okay.
我想我大概该走了 You know, I should probably just go.
- 好的 谢谢你的书 - 没问题 - Well, thanks for the books. - No problem. Okay.
苏珊 Susan.
好吧 我们该先告诉谁 你家人 还是黛比和罗娜？ All right, who should we call first? Your folks or Deb and Rhona?
你好 Hello?
嗯… Uh...
没事 我不想知道 Never mind. I don't wanna know.
那么就因为这是我的桌子 就得让我买新的？ Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
规则上讲是的 That's the rule.
什么规则？没有什么规则 What rule? There's no rule.
如果有 就是你欠我个桌子 If anything, you owe me a table.
- 你从哪得的这个结论？ - 这个桌子一直很结实… - How did you get there? - I believe this piece of furniture was fine...
直到你开始在早餐时蹂躏黄油 ...until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.
你知道这事？ You knew about that?
这么说吧 看到那罐黄油的惨相 The impressions you made in the butter...
根本连想象都省了 ...left little to the imagination.
那我们合买怎么样？ Okay, okay. How about if we split it?
你什么意思 一起买？ What do you mean, like, buy it together?
是啊 Yeah.
你认为我们到了做这样事的程度了吗？ Do you think we're ready for something like that?
- 为什么不？ - 这可是个很大的承诺 - Why not? - Well, it's just a big commitment.
我意思是 要是有人想搬出去呢？ I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
- 为什么 你要搬吗？ - 我不搬呐 - Why, are you moving out? - I'm not moving out.
你要是搬的话 得告诉我 好吗？ You'd tell me if you were moving out, right?
- 好 好 只是我上个室友… - 我知道提普所有的事 - Yes, it's just that, with my last roommate... - Oh, I know all about Kip.
我们一起买了个日式古桌 后来 他要结婚走人 We bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married...
结果事情搞得很糟 ...and things got pretty ugly.
好吧 我问你点事 So let me ask you something.
作为室友 提普比我好吗？ Was Kip a better roommate than me?
哦 别这样 Oh, don't do that.
你的日程有些变化 You've got a couple changes in your schedule.
你四点的香蕈按摩推迟到四点半 Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30.
还有尚穆 福德太太取消了五点半的日式指压 And Ms. Summerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
噢 你三点的顾客来了 Oh. Here comes your 3:00.
我不想表现的不专业 但是 诱人呃… I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum.
巴洛 你来这干什么？ Oh. Paolo. Hi. What are you doing here?
瑞秋告诉我你… Uh, Rachella tell me you...
按摩？ ...massage?
是的 瑞秋说得对 Yeah, well, Rachella's right. Yeah.
哦 Oh.
好吧 我不知道你刚才说什么 我们开始吧 Okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's just start.
我… Uh, I am, uh...
需要裸体？ ...being naked?
你说了算 Um, that's really your decision.
我是说 有的人喜欢… I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...
噢 你光着身子 Ooh, oops! Being naked.
我不能相信你不想知道 我意思是 我可不能不知道 I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I could not know.
如果医生知道 卡萝和苏珊都知道 I mean, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows...
摩尼卡也知道 And Monica knows.
你怎么知道的？我都不知道 Heh. How could you? I don't even know.
卡萝因为面条打电话道谢 我问了 她告诉我了 Carol called to thank me for the lasagna. I asked. She told me.
那么孩子是？ So, what's it going to be?
哇 Whoa.
哦 太好了现在他都知道了 我还不知道 Huh? Oh, great. Now he knows and I don't know.
对不起 当了姑姑 我太兴奋了 I'm sorry. I'm just excited about being an aunt.
还有叔叔… Or an uncle.
嗨 菲比 Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.
很好 Fine.
- 怎么了？ - 对不起 - Phoebe, what's the matter? - Nothing. I'm sorry.
我就是 我不舒服 I'm just... I'm out of sorts.
我们能要点热牛奶咖啡吗？ Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here?
噢 对了 是叫我 Oh, right. That's me.
那个卖桌子的地方七点就关了 走吧 Hey, Chandler. That table place closes at 7. Come on.
好吧 Fine.
怎么了？ Phoebe. What is it?
- 好吧 你知道巴洛？ - 我了解他那点把戏的 是的… - You know Paolo? - I'm familiar with his work, yes.
他调戏我 Look, he made a move on me.
- 商店明天还会开 - 再来点咖啡 - Whoa. The store will be open tomorrow. - More coffee over here, please.
到底怎么回事？ Well, what happened?
他来按摩 Well, he came in for a massage...
本来挺好的直到… ...and everything was fine until...
- 天哪 - 你确定？ - My God. - Are you sure?
噢 是的 我确定 Oh, yeah. I'm sure.
然后突然间 他的手就不算什么问题了 And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
他那儿…？ Was it?
童子军都能在那扎营了 Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.
噢 Ooh.
- "噢" 什么？ - 马•瑟曼 - "Ooh," what? - Ma Thurman.
- 噢 - 那个女演员 - Oh. - The actress.
乌玛•瑟曼 Uma Thurman!
谢了 瑞秋 Thanks, Rach.
- 那么你打算怎么办？ - 你必须告诉她 - What are you gonna you do? - You have to tell her.
这是道德上的义务 作为朋友… You have to tell her. It's your moral obligation as a friend...
女人 我认为这涉及到女权问题 伙计们？ ...as a woman. I think it's a feminist issue. Guys? Guys?
你必须告诉她 Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
女权问题 这是我的观点 Feminist issue? That's where I went.
她会恨我的 She is gonna hate me.
这样啊 Yeah, well.
你挑一个 挑一个 Will you pick one? Just pick one.
那个怎么样？ Here, how about that one?
那是放在院子里用的 That's patio furniture.
那有什么？难道人们进屋后会想 "哦吼 我又出去了" So what? Like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again."
当然 Fine.
那鸟桌怎么样？ What about the birds?
不知道 鸟桌不会对你说 I don't know. Birds just don't say:
"你好 坐这 吃点什么 " "Hello, sit here. Eat something."
那你选吧 You pick one.
好吧 那瓢虫桌怎么样？ How about the ladybugs?
这样 忘了鸟和红昆虫 建议点有品位的餐桌 Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining?
好 你想要鸟 就要鸟吧 Fine. Do you want the birds? Get the birds.
不是这样 我不要 Not like that, I won't.
提普会喜欢鸟桌的 Kip would've liked the birds.
- 嘿 - 嗨 菲比 - Hey. - Hi, Pheebs.
你要搬出去吗？ Are you moving out?
这不全是我的行李 No, these aren't all of my suitcases.
这个是巴洛的 This one's Paolo's.
嗯… Um...
瑞秋 我们能谈谈吗？ Um, Rachel, can we talk for a sec?
好的 当然… Well, sure. Just for a sec, though...
- 就一会 巴洛正在来的路上 - 哦 - ...because Paolo's on his way over. - Oh.
好吧 嗯… Okay. Um...
好吧 Okay.
呃… Um...
- 菲比 - 嗯 好吧 - Oh, Pheebs... - Um, okay.
我们认识还不久 Um, ahem. We haven't known each other for that long a time.
我有三件事你应该知道 And, um, there are three things that you should know about me.
一 朋友是我生命中最重要的 One, my friends are the most important thing in my life.
二 我从不说谎 Two, I never lie.
三 我做的提子燕麦饼干是最好的 And three, I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.
谢谢 菲比 Okay. Thanks, Pheebs.
上帝啊 Mm, my God.
为什么我从来没吃过这些？ Why have I never tasted these before?
我不经常做 因为我想... Oh, I don't make them a lot...
这对别的饼干来说不太公平 ...because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
天呐 Ahem, God.
好吧 你是对的 这是我吃过的最好的提子燕麦饼干 Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had.
- 这也证明了我不说谎 - 我想是的 - Which proves that I never lie. - I guess you don't.
巴洛调戏我 Paolo made a pass at me.
你们看怎么样？ So, what do you think?
我想这是我见过的最漂亮的桌子 I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
我知道 I know.
你得把盘子平衡在这些小人头上吗？ So how does this work? Gonna balance the plates on these little heads?
管他呢 我们在水槽边吃饭 来吧 Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on.
闪开你的小人 罗斯 Heads up, Ross.
得分 你们真臭 Score! You suck.
你没事吧？ Are you okay?
我需要牛奶 I need some milk.
我有牛奶 I've got milk.
给你… Here you go.
好点了吗？ Better?
没有 No.
我真太蠢了 Ugh! I feel so stupid.
我想起来那天… I think about the other day, with you guys, you know.
我还是 "哦 巴洛 他真好" And I was all, "Oh, Paolo. He's so great.
"他让我觉得真…" He makes me feel so..." Ugh!
天哪 God.
我真觉得尴尬 I'm so embarrassed.
我是他调戏的那个 I'm the one he hit on.
如果我没遇见他 I unleashed him on you. If I'd never met him...
事情就不会发生 ...this would've never happened.
- 真对不起 - 不 我对不起你 - I'm so sorry. - No, I'm sorry.
是我对不起 No, I'm sorry.
应该是我 等等 Oh, wait. Oh.
- 我们道什么歉？ - 不知道… - What are we sorry about? - I don't know.
对 他才是猪 Right. He's the pig.
- 真是猪 - 哦 天哪 他真是头猪 - Such a pig. - Oh, God, he's such a pig.
- 他就像一个… 恶心猪 - 对 就像是… - Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig... - Yeah, like a...
- 猪人 - 是的 不错 - Pig man. - Yes, good. Okay.
但他是我的猪人 Oh, but he was my pig man.
为什么我看不出来？ How did I not see this?
噢 我知道 Oh, I know!
是因为… Because...
他太帅了 ...he's gorgeous.
他太迷人 And he's charming.
- 当他看你的时候… - 好的 菲比 - And when he looks at you... - Okay. Okay, Pheebs.
结束 The end.
天啊 Ugh. God.
我应该瞒着你吗？ Should I not have told you?
相信我 让我知道是对的 No, trust me, it's much better that I know.
只是我更喜欢以前那样 不知道的时候更好过一些 Uh, I just liked it better before. It was better.
她只是把事情想的太好了 I think she took it pretty well.
巴洛现在就在那边 所以… You know, Paolo's over there right now, so...
我们应该过去 看看她有没有事 Yeah, we should get over there and see if she's okay.
稍等片刻 Just one second.
- 得分 - 比赛 - Whoo! Score. - Game. Us.
不错 Yes.
来吧 菲比 Come on, Pheebs.
哇 Whoo.
那么 看起来 我们打得你们屁滚尿流 Well, it looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
不 她打得我们屁滚尿流 No, no. She kicked our butts.
你可以参加奥林匹克的"站一边看"之队 You could be on the Olympic "Standing There" team.
得了吧 二对一 Come on. Two on one.
你还在这干什么？她刚和那男的分手 What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy.
该你趁虚而入啦 It's time for you to swoop in.
什么？现在？ What? Now?
是的 现在正是时候 Yes. Now is when you swoop.
你得确保巴洛走出屋子后 You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out...
你是瑞秋见到的第一个男人 ...the first guy Rachel sees is you.
得让她知道你是那么好 而他一无是处 She's got to know that you're everything he's not.
你就像 像反面的巴洛 You're like... Like the anti-Paolo.
我这天主教朋友说的对 My Catholic friend is right.
她现在很烦恼 你就在那陪伴她 She's distraught. You're there for her.
你帮她承担所有烦恼 You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in:
然后你就走向了罗斯时代 The Age of Ross.
看到了吧？ See this? See?
- 怎么样了？ - 别盯着看 - How's it going? - Don't stare.
现在她刚把他的衣服从阳台上 扔下去 She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony.
现在是他们比比画画的 Now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving.
要么是 "你怎么能？" 或 "大胸脯" Okay, that is either, "How could you?" Or "Enormous breasts."
他过来了 Here he comes.
我… Uh, I am, uh...
说再见 ...to say goodbye.
好的 再见 Oh, okay, bye-bye.
巴洛 Paolo.
我非常憎恨你对瑞秋做的事 但我还有五个面条没处理掉 I really hate you for what you did to Rachel. But I still have five of these...
在烤箱里用375度烤到奶酪冒泡就行了 ...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
我只想告诉你 Paolo, I just wanna tell you...
我要代大家说 当我说… ...and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say...
哦 看看她呀… Oh. Just look at her.
伙计们 我认为最好我们中只去一个 Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us should go out there...
- 这样她就不会被压垮… - 你对 - ...so she's not overwhelmed. - Oh, right.
而且那个人应该是我 And I really think it should be me.
嘿 Hey.
你没事吧？ You all right?
我好点了… Oh. I've been better.
过来 Come here.
听着 Listen...
他远远配不上你… ...you deserve so much better than him.
我意思是 你… You know? I mean, you...
你应该找一个能明白拥有你是多么幸福的人 You should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
罗斯 Ross...
什么？ What?
我讨厌死男人了 I'm so sick of guys.
我都不想看见男的 I don't want to look at another guy.
我也不想考虑别的男人 I don't want to think about another guy.
我甚至不想靠近任何一个男人 I don't even want to be near another guy.
哈 Huh.
- 罗斯 你真太好了 - 哦 哈… - Ross, you're so great. - Oh, ha, ha.
- 你怎么样？ - 你没事？ - Are you all right? - Are you okay?
一般吧 Medium. Heh.
- 还有饼干吗？ - 有 - Any cookies left? - Yeah.
看 瑞秋 Heh. See, Rach, um...
我不认为发誓再不要男人是个好答案 See, I don't think swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't.
我认为你需要建立一个先进的筛选程序 I think what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
我只想先单身一阵 No. No. I just need to be by myself for a while.
我得先弄明白我想要什么样的 You know? I just gotta figure out what I want.
不 不 No, no.
因为不是所有人都像巴洛 See, because not all guys out there are gonna be a Paolo.
不 我知道 我知道 No, I know. I know.
而且我肯定 你的小儿子不会长成他那样 And I'm sure your little boy's not gonna grow up to be one.
-什么？ -什么？ - What? - What?
我有了个儿子？ I'm having a boy?
不 Uh, no.
不 事实上 你没有儿子 No. In fact, you're not having a boy.
我有了儿子 I'm having a boy.
我是有了儿子吗？ Am I having a boy?
- 是 你有儿子了 - 啊 - You're having a boy. - Aah!
- 我有儿子了 - 是的 - I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy. - Yes!
- 什么？ - 怎么了？ - What? - What is it?
我有儿子了 我有儿子了 I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.
嘿 Hey.
我们已经知道了 We already knew that.
我有儿子了 I'm having a son.
嗯 Um...
好的 这样一局又就结束了 Yes. And that would be a shutdown.
闭嘴吧 Shutout!
你们去哪？来呀 再来一局 Where you guys going? Come on, one more game.
- 现在是凌晨两点半 - 对 出去 - Oh. It's 2:30 in the morning. - Yeah. Get out.
你们可老是到我那屋去泡着 You guys are always hanging out in my apartment.
来吧 我就用左手 Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh?
来吧 软蛋 Come on, wussies.
- 好吧 我得走了 - 嗯 - All right. Okay. I gotta go. - Mm-hm.
我走了 I'm going.
我已经走了 And I'm gone.
- 再来一局？ - 哦 好的 - One more game? - Oh, yeah.