真的啦 罗斯 她要你 I'm telling you, Ross, she wants you.
她一点也不认识我 只是刚好是邻居 She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
- 有来往吗？ - 有次借我颗鸡蛋 - Any contact? - She lent me an egg once.
那就算数了 You're in.
是喔 Oh, right.
- 罗斯 - 你好 - Hey, Ross. - Hey.
别这样 你该回到情场来 Come on, Ross. You gotta get back in the game here.
跟瑞秋的恋情不成 前妻爱女人 The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian, you...
不用我再说第三位了吧 I don't think we need a third.
打扰了 可以给颗全蛋吗 有壳的那种 Excuse me. Could we get an egg over here, still in the shell?
蛋？ An egg?
对 你就上前跟她说 "蛋还你"| Yeah. Go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg."
这样很有魅力啊 I think it's winning.
- 明明就很瞎 - 她会喜欢 - I think it's insane. - She'll love it.
- 谢谢 - 谢谢 拿去 - Thank you. - Thank you. Here.
带着蛋去吧 Go with the egg, my friend.
去啊 Go, go, go.
- 你想会成功吗？ - 是自杀 他携有鸡蛋 - Think it'll work? - It's suicide. The man's got an egg.
- 不可以这样 - 怎样？不可以怎样？ - You cannot do this. - What? Do what?
罗杰明晚要约她出去 Roger wants to take her out.
菲比 不行 你难道忘了当初为什么甩掉他的？ No. Pheebs. Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?
因为他让人毛骨悚然 Because he was creepy.
刻薄 又让人有点害怕 And mean. And a little frightening.
但情人节有人约 总比没的好 Still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day.
- 大家好 - 好 - Hi. - Hi.
菲比 想约毛骨悚然男 随时都可以 You can go out with a creep any night of the year.
至少我就这样 I know I do.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
明晚你们有什么打算？ What are you doing tomorrow night?
那要看今晚的发展 Actually, tomorrow night depends on how tonight goes.
- 今晚呢 - 不行 不准反悔 - Oh. Uh, listen, about tonight... - No, no, don't you dare bail on me.
她答应跟我约会 就是因为我答应帮她朋友找伴 She's only going out with me because I'm bringing a friend for her friend.
但她朋友听来似乎是… But her friend sounds like such a...
悲惨又很糟 这我知道 但… Pathetic mess. I know, but...
别这样啦 老兄 她很渴望 很脆弱 我想呢 Come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinking:
谢了 Thanks.
跟珍妮丝分手后就没约会过 今晚你一定要去 You haven't been out with a woman since Janice. You're doing this.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
- 她答应了 - 啊 - She said yes. - Ahem.
太好了 老兄 Yes! Way to go, man.
- 蛋你没还人家？ - 对 - Still got the egg, huh? - Yeah.
- 我样子如何？ - 哦 - How do I look? - Oh, um...
才不在乎 ...I don't care.
洛莲来了 There's Lorraine.
记住喔 不能跟我换 Now, remember, no trading.
漂亮的给你 悲惨的给我 You get the pretty one. I get the mess.
- 乔伊 - 好 - Hi, Joey. - Hey.
瞧瞧 Well, well.
看看这是谁 Look what you brought.
很棒喔 Very nice.
看看你带了谁？ And what did you bring?
她还在寄放外套 She's checking her coat.
乔伊 我去洗手 把计程车味道洗掉 Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off of my hands.
帮我叫白葡萄酒 帮珍妮丝叫杯红葡萄酒好吗？ Will you get me a white zinfandel and a glass of red for Janice?
珍妮丝？ Janice?
喔 Oh...
我的… ...my...
天啊 ...God.
是珍妮丝 Hey, it's Janice.
我要逃走了 从窗户出去 Okay, I'm making a break for it. I'm going out the window.
别走啦 拜托 我想约洛莲好久了 No, don't, please. I've been waiting for forever to go out with Lorraine.
- 冷静点 - 冷静？ - Just calm down. - Calm down? Calm down?
一个五个月内被我甩过两次的女人 你硬把我们凑成对 You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice in the last five months.
喂 Hey.
别对我吼好吗？这让我好紧张 Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous...
我一紧张就尿不出来 ...and I can't go when I'm nervous.
抱歉 你说的没错 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right.
快点 快尿 快尿 Come on! Do it, do it, do it! Come on!
好啦 罗杰是很怪 但跟皮特•卡尼比起来不算什么 Okay, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.
- 皮特•卡尼谁？ - 爱哭鬼皮特？ - Which one was he? - Pete the Weeper?
每次做爱都会哭的家伙 还记得吗？ Remember the guy that used to cry every time we had sex?
"你也舒服吗？" "Oh, was it good for you?"
小哭一下何妨 总比不服输霍华 "强" Well, I'd take a little crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy.
"我赢了 我赢了" "I win. I win."
跟他约会两个月 都没赢过 I went out with him for two months. I didn't get to win once.
我们人这么好 怎会找到这些混蛋呢？ How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.
不知道 可能是因为 我们拥有特别磁力 I don't know. I think we're like some kind of magnets.
我确定我有 所以我才不能戴数位手表 I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
你那瓶酒比较多 对吧？ There's more beer, right?
记得我那个把头理光的朋友艾比吗？ Oh. You know my friend Abby who shaves her head?
她说如果想破除恶男交友魔咒 She says to break the bad-boyfriend cycle...
可以进行净身仪式 ...you can do a cleansing ritual.
菲比 这女人志愿变秃耶 Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.
是啊 Yeah.
就选明晚来做啊 So we can do it tomorrow night, you guys.
情人节 很适合 It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
怎样的仪式？ Okay, well, what kind of ritual?
像是把他们送的东西烧掉 Okay, we can, um, burn the stuff they gave us.
或者？ Or?
或者可以脱光了又唱又跳 拿根木棍 Or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
- 烧东西比较好 - 烧东西比较好 - Burning's good. - Burning's good.
我有可以烧的东西 I've got stuff to burn.
这个呢 You know...
打从我小时候 我就有办法用脚趾捡硬币 ...ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
是吗？好了不起 Yeah? Good for you.
几枚硬币 还是整捆硬币？ Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
顺道一提 钱德 照片上有你的都被我剪了 By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures.
如果你想要的话 有一整袋子都是你的头 So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
不用了 That's okay.
真的吗？因为可以拿来作成小玩偶 Are you sure? Because you could make little puppets out of them.
然后放在残酷剧场演戏 And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty.
不能这样 We can't do that.
哈？不能怎样？ What? What can't you do?
可以和你聊一聊？到那边？ Uh, can I talk to you for a second? Over there?
我们想走了 Uh, we might be leaving now.
你是说我跟你的"我们" Tell me it's you and me "we."
她说想在我全身涂抹东西 再舔掉 She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off.
但我连涂抹是什么意思都不懂 I'm not even sure what slathering is.
但我很想试试 But I definitely want to be a part of it.
你不可以这样对我 Okay, you cannot do this to me.
没错 抱歉 没错 You're right. I'm sorry. You're right.
麻烦三个巧克力慕丝外带 Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please?
我要走了 I'm out of here.
信用卡给你 晚餐我请 抱歉喔 Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
希望她吐在你身上 I hope she throws up on you.
谢了 Thanks.
- 那么 - 剩我们俩了 - So... - Just us.
好烂的一晚 Ugh, what a crappy night.
但我还满高兴从你上完厕所后 你的衬衫就从… Although I have enjoyed the fact that your shirt's been sticking out...
裤子拉链跑出来 ...of your zipper since you came back from the bathroom.
不好意思 Excuse me.
你好 How you doing?
我们这算是误交损友吗？ So do we have the best friends, or what?
乔伊算不上朋友 他是… Joey's not a friend. He's...
把信用卡留给我们用的笨蛋 ...a stupid man who left us his credit card.
再来一杯？点心？大屏幕电视机？ Another drink? Some dessert? A big-screen TV?
就再来一杯吧 I will go for that drink.
没问题 小姐 You got it. Good woman.
最贵的香槟 来一瓶 A bottle of your most overpriced champagne.
- 每人一瓶 - 没错 每人一瓶 - Each. - That's right. Each.
还有一瓶罗伯•洛伊 Oh. And a, uh, Rob Roy.
我一直很好奇那是什么 I've always wanted to know.
情人节快乐 Happy Valentine's Day.
我已经开始想你了 Oh, I miss you already.
你能相信会这样吗？ Can you believe this happened?
不 不 No, no.
但却真的发生了 And yet it did.
- 再见了 珍妮丝 - 亲一下啊 - Goodbye, Janice. - Kiss me.
钱德 抱歉 Oh, Chandler. Sorry.
- 珍妮丝 - 摩妮卡 - Hey, Janice. - Hi, Monica.
这真的很特别 Okay. Well, this was very special.
瑞秋 快来看外头是谁 Rach, come see who's out here.
怎么…？天啊 What's going on...? Oh, my God.
珍妮丝 你好 Janice. Hi.
珍妮丝正要走 Janice is gonna go away now.
去去就回 I'll be right back.
乔伊 看谁来了 Oh. Joey. Look who it is.
哇 Whoa.
好耶 乔伊回家了 Oh, good. Joey's home now.
好有趣喔 This is so much fun.
就像在走廊重逢 This is like a reunion in the hall.
罗斯 来打个招呼 Hi, Ross. There's someone I want you to say hi to.
刚好他打来 He just happened to call.
罗斯 对 是我 你怎么猜到的？ Hello, Ross. Yes, that's right. It's me. How did you know?
东京红花铁板烧
我只是说如果狗会有时差 I'm just saying if dogs do experience jet lag, then...
那人一岁等于狗七岁的说法 ...because of the whole seven-dog- years-to-one-human-year thing...
在遇到狗从纽约飞到洛杉矶时 ...that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles...
他可不只要往返三小时 而是一个半礼拜 ...he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses, like, a week and a half.
- 真有趣 - 对 - That's funny. - Yeah.
哈？ What?
这些人是谁？ Who are they?
金发是我前妻 The, uh, blond is my ex-wife.
摸她的人是她… And the woman touching her is her...
密友 ...close personal friend.
是说她们是爱人吗？ You mean they're lovers?
硬要给人标签的话 就是了 If you want to put a label on it.
喔 嘿 Wow. Heh.
- 还有什么没告诉我的 - 没了 就这么多 - Anything else I should know? - Nope. That's it.
喔 还有她怀了我的孩子 Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.
这我老是忘掉 I always forget that part.
你们好 Hello.
好 现在要艾草枝 还有圣酒 Okay. So now we need, um, sage branches and the sacramental wine.
我只有牛至叶和饮料 All I had is oregano and a Fresca.
这也可以 Um, that's okay.
- 哦 - 好 - Ooh. - Okay.
好 接着要有正派男性的精子 All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
要是找得到这种人 Huh. Okay, Pheebs, if we had that...
也用不着这仪式了 ...we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
- 可以开始丢东西了吗？ - 嗯 可以了 - Can we start throwing things in? - Um, yeah, okay.
好 Oh. Okay. Um...
巴瑞的信 Okay. Barry's letters.
亚当•瑞特的四角内裤 Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
跟这个人晚餐的收据 And I have the receipt from my dinner with:
- 史考特•贾瑞的裸照 - 我看一下 - A picture of Scotty Jared, naked. - Let me see.
他有穿毛衣 He's wearing a sweater.
- 没有 - 呃 - No. - Ew!
好 这里巴洛剩下来的意大利白兰地酒 Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.
等等 这是不是酒精浓度很… Wait. Isn't it almost pure...?
我怎么可以在情人节甩了她？ How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?
不知道 你新年就甩过她啊 I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
老兄 我下辈子一定会转世投胎为马桶刷 Oh, man. In my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
有趣的情人 你好 Hello, funny valentine.
珍妮丝 Hi, just Janice.
乔伊 小媒人 Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.
我要好好亲亲你 I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.
哦 好的 哈… Oh. Okay, heh. Ha, ha, okay.
要是你不做 那就我来 If you don't do it, I will.
你的工作是什么？ So, um, what do you do for a living?
过去几年我… Well, um for the past few years...
我还以为你答应他们可以单独拍照 不用等你 Oh, no. You said they could shoot the spot without you.
本来是这么说 I thought they could.
跟小朋友很充实 Working with children, which is really fulfilling.
我尽快回来 I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry.
大半时间是在教科学 So I'm spending most of my time teaching science, heh...
很有趣 因为我大学主修不是科学 ...which is funny because that wasn't even my major.
真有趣 Now, that is funny.
你觉得 Hey, do you think...?
我邀卡萝过来一起吃 好吗？ Would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us?
因为她落单了 Because she's alone now.
又怀有身孕 又心情不好 And pregnant. And sad.
- 应该可以吧 - 确定？ - I guess. - Are you sure?
谢谢 卡萝 Thanks. Carol.
要一起坐吗？ Wanna come over and join us?
不用 Oh, no. I'm fine.
来啦 大家可以挪一下 Come on, stand up. These people will scooch down. Come on.
过来坐 你们会过去一点 对吧 Come over here. You guys will scooch, won't you?
请挪一下位置 Let's try scooching. Come on.
- 过来啊 - 谢谢 - Come on. - Thank you.
克莉丝汀•丽格 这位是卡萝•威利克 Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willet.
- 卡萝 克莉丝汀 - 你好 - Carol, Kristen. - How do you do?
卡萝教六年级 Um... Oh, uh, Carol teaches sixth grade.
克莉丝汀… And, uh, Kristen...
的工作… Kristen does something...
有趣的是… ...that, funnily enough...
不是她的主修 ...wasn't even her major.
查到什么？ What do we got there?
一件丝质男性四角内裤 A piece of silk boxer shorts...
一些明信片 ...some greeting cards...
好像是烧剩下的照片 ...what looks like a half-charred picture of...
这家伙比队长还多毛 Wow, that guy's hairier than the chief.
事情原委很荒谬啦 You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
没关系 不用多说 It's all right. Don't explain.
这又不是我们第一桩营救的男友营火晚会 It's not the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control.
- 这已是今晚第三桩了 - 真的吗？ - You're our third call tonight. - Really?
是啊 情人节一向是一年里最忙的日子 Sure. Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
有东西送你 I brought you something.
有装子弹吗？ Is it loaded?
心形糖果 Oh, little candy hearts.
"永远的钱与珍" "Chan and Jan forever."
特别订制的喔 I had them made special.
好了 珍妮丝 Okay, Janice.
珍妮丝 Janice.
珍妮丝 Hey, Janice.
我没办法跟你说 Look, there's no way for me to tell you this.
至少没有新的办法来跟你说 At least, there's no new way for me to tell you this.
我想我们不适合 I just don't think things are gonna work out.
没关系 That's fine.
- 真的吗？ - 嗯 - It is? - Mm-hm.
因为我知道还没完 Because I know that this isn't the end.
事实上 是完了 Oh, no. You see, actually, it is.
不 才没有 因为你不会允许的 No, it isn't. Because you won't let that happen.
你到现在还不明白吗？ Don't you know it yet?
你是爱我的 钱德•宾 You love me, Chandler Bing.
不 我不爱 Oh, no, I don't.
你问问你自己 我们怎么会老是碰到一起？ Then why do you think we keep ending up together?
新年 是谁邀谁？ New Year's, who invited who?
情人节 是谁邀谁上谁的床？ Valentine's, who asked who into whose bed?
- 都是我开口的 - 都是你找上我的 - I did, but... - You seek me out.
你内心深处呼唤我前来 就像雾中号角一样引航 Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn.
珍妮丝 Janice. Janice.
你要我的 你需要我 You want me. You need me.
没有我 你活不下去 You can't live without me.
而且你心知肚明 And you know it.
只是你不清楚自己很明白 You just don't know you know it.
再见啰 See you.
打电话给我 Call me.
这不是真的 我从没说你妈妈是狼权 It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
你有 我发誓 真的有 You did so. I swear. I swear to...
她去厕所多久了？ How long has she been in the bathroom?
我猜她应该不在厕所 她外套都拿走了 Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
可能是因为里头冷 Well, maybe it's cold in there.
看来我毁了九年来第一次有的约会 Maybe I screwed up the first date I had in nine years.
- 可能就是这样 - 天啊 - That could be it. - Oh, God.
铁板还是很烫 You know, this is still pretty hot.
磨结 Mushroom.
微笑 Smile.
你不会都遇到这样的人的 可能有人肯用过餐再走 They won't all be like this. Some might even stay through dinner.
- 抱歉 不好笑 - 只是... - I'm sorry. That's not funny. - No, it's just...
真的一定要像人家说的 抛开过去迎向未来那样吗？ Well, you know the whole getting-on-with-your-life thing?
一定要这样吗？ Well, do I have to?
我身旁坐着漂亮女子 I mean, well, I'm sitting here with this cute woman...
人又很好 ...and she's perfectly nice, you know?
但… But there's...
就没了 That's it.
但跟你聊天 却那么轻松有趣 And, uh, then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun.
不用… And I don't have to...
- 我懂 - 你懂？ - I know. - You know?
我有个变态提议 Here's a wacky thought. Um, ahem.
- 何不我们再试试看 - 罗斯 - Let's say you and I give it another shot. - Ross.
我知道你想说什么 你爱女生 No, no, I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian.
但暂时把那搁下来如何？ But what do you say we just put that aside for now, you know?
把它先放在一旁好吗？ Let's just stick a pin in it, okay?
因为我们很处得来 Because we're great together, you know?
这你不否认吧 You can't deny it.
何况你肚里还有我的小孩 And besides, you're carrying my baby.
- 这不是很完美吗？ - 罗斯 - I mean, how perfect is that? - Ross...
你一直这样说 但有件事却老是没变 You keep saying that, but there's something right here.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you too.
- 但… - 别说但是 - But... - No "but." No "but."
你知道这件我们搁下的事 怎么样了吗？ You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it?
迟早会浮现的 It's time to take the pin out.
是 Yeah.
你会找到合适的人的 一定会有个人在等着你 You'll find someone. I know you will. The right woman is waiting for you.
说的简单 因为你有人了 It's easy for you to say. You found one already.
只要有个喜欢男人的女人就好了 All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
不是她 Not her.
我们午夜结束 过来接你们如何？ We get off around midnight. Why don't we pick you up then?
- 好 - 好 - Okay. - Great.
那你要开消防车来吗？ So, um, will you bring the truck?
- 还会让你拉消防铃 - 哇哦 - I'll even let you ring the bell. - Wohoo!
- 晚点见 - 晚点见 - We'll see you later. - Bye. See you later.
谢谢 再见 Thanks. See you.
天啊 Oh, my God.
瞧 不就有了吗？ See, there you go.
- 仪式奏效了 - 真的 - The cleansing worked. - You're right.
他们都是好人 They're nice guys.
是消防队员 They're firemen guys.
- 有跟她们说你们结婚了吗？ - 怎么能说 - You tell them you're married? - No way.
我女朋友都不知道 我才不会说 My girlfriend doesn't know. I'm not gonna tell them.