怎么会有人知道你的信用卡号码？ How'd someone get your credit card number?
我也不知道 看看他们花了多少钱 I have no idea. Look how much they spent!
摩妮卡 冷静点 Monica, Calm down.
信用卡公司说 你只要付你有买东西的钱 You only have to pay for the stuff you bought.
但这真的是挥霍无度 Still, it's just such reckless spending.
我想他们偷你的信用卡时… When somebody steals your credit card...
早就将王法抛诸脑后了 ...they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
哇 真是怪人 花了美金69.95元买神奇拖把 Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
是我买的 That's me.
噢 恶心 Oh! Oh, the yuck.
他又来了 He's doing it again!
马塞尔 别再侵犯那盏灯了 Marcel, stop humping the lamp!
不要这样 马塞尔 回来 Stop humping! Now, Marcel, come back!
过来这里 马塞尔 Come here, Marcel!
不要 别去我房间 我去抓他 Oh, no, no! Not in my room! I'll get him.
罗斯 你得想想办法 You've got to do something about the humping.
干嘛？只是阶段性而已 What? It's just a phase.
我们也是那样说乔伊的 Well, that's what we said about Joey.
放轻松点好吗？没什么大不了的 Hey, would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
马塞尔 给我停止 马塞尔 你这个坏猴子 Marcel, stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
- 怎么了？ - 呃 - What? - Ugh!
就说我的好奇娃娃 已经不再好奇了吧 Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
摩妮卡 你不会还在看那个东西吧 Ugh, Monica, you are not still going over that thing.
- 这个女人过着我的生活 - 什么？ - This woman's living my life. - What?
她在过我的生活 而且过得比我好 She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me.
你看看这个 看 Look at this. Look.
她买票去看我想看的戏 She buys tickets to plays I want to see.
她买的衣服是我早就想买的 She shops at stores that I'm intimidated by the salespeople.
她花三百美金在美术用品上 She spent $300 on art supplies.
你又不是艺术家 You're not an artist.
如果我有那些东西 或许就可以了 Yeah, well, I might be if I had the supplies.
这些我都可以做啊 只是我都没做 I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
摩妮卡 别这样 你也做很多很棒的事情啊 Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things.
是吗？来比较一下吧 Oh, really? Let's compare, shall we?
现在做比较 会不会太晚了？ Oh, it's so late for "shall we?"
我会去公园骑马吗？ Do I go horseback riding in the park, hmm?
我会在新学院大学上课吗？ Do I take classes at The New School?
- 不会 - 不会 - No. - No.
太不公平了 This is so unfair.
她有所有我要的东西 而且不用应付我妈妈 She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
乔伊•帕帕尼如何？ How about Joey Paponi?
不行 太有种族意味了 No, still too ethnic.
我的经纪人觉得要取中立一点的名字 My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
乔伊•瑞士？ Joey Switzerland?
而且我觉得叫乔就好 乔伊听起来好像我只有… Plus I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm...
这么大而已 ...this big.
但我并不是 Which I'm not!
乔 乔 乔… 史达林？ Joe, Joe, Joe... Stalin?
史达林 Stalin.
我听过那个名字吗？好耳熟 Do I know that name? That sounds familiar.
- 我没印象 - 唔 - Well, it does not ring a bell with me. - Huh.
乔•史达林 Joe Stalin.
还挺不错的 You know, that's pretty good.
- 还可以试试乔瑟夫 - 啊 - You might want to try Joseph. - Ah!
乔瑟夫•史达林 Joseph Stalin!
- 大家一定会记得 - 当然啦 - I think you'd remember that! - Oh, yes!
《别了 鸟儿》由乔瑟夫•史达林主演 Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin.
乔瑟夫•史达林是《屋顶上的提琴手》 Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
嗨 Hi.
嗨 我是摩妮卡•盖勒 Hi. Uh, yes, this is Monica Geller.
我在你们那边上课 我想知道是什么课程 Um, I'm taking classes with you, and I was wondering what they were.
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
好 太好了 All right, great.
好 谢谢了 Great. Thanks a lot.
我要去上踢踏舞课了 I'm going to tap class.
好让你跟偷了你信用的女人一起跳舞吗？ So you can dance with the woman that stole your card?
她偷了我的人生 我想知道她是谁 She's got my life. I want to see who she is.
那就去邮局啊 我相信里面有张贴她的照片 Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up!
亲爱的 你快失控了 Honey, you're kind of losing it here.
这已经变成怪异的执迷 This is really becoming a weird obsession.
这太疯狂了 我告诉你 This is madness, I tell you.
上帝保佑 摩妮卡 别这么做 For the love of God, Monica, don't do it!
谢谢 Thank you.
你们怎么想？ What do you think?
想很多事情 Lots of things.
你觉得她是哪一个？ Which one do you think she is?
- 有我可以效劳的地方吗？ - 不用了 谢谢 - May I help you? - Oh, no, thanks.
我们只是来参观的 We're just here to observe.
舞蹈课不是用来参观的 要用跳的 You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class!
那边有鞋子 Spare shoes are over there.
什么意思？ What does she mean?
我想她是说 "舞蹈课…" I think she means, "You dance...
"要用跳的 " ...a dance class!"
来吧… Come on, come on, come on!
真的吗？ Really?
嘿 你有看到我的分身吗？ Hey, do you see anybody you think could be me?
各位 上次下课后 有人留下优格空瓶 People, last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class.
不要再让这种事发生了 Let's not have that happen again!
她可以当你的分身 She could be you.
开始吧 Let's get started.
五 六 五 六 七 八 Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight.
好 我完全不会 Okay, I'm not getting this!
我超会的 I'm totally getting it!
你会觉得自己超不协调的吗？ Do you ever just feel like you're so unbelievably uncoordinated?
干嘛？他们踢的时候 跟着踢就是了 What? You just click when they click.
好吧 各位 找个舞伴 All right. Now everyone grab a partner.
噢… Oh! Oh.
我死去的母亲说 就是你 我跟瑞秋是舞伴 All right. And my dead mother said you are it! I'm with Rachel.
太好了 体育课的旧事又重演了 Great, it's gym class all over again.
啊 Aww.
没关系 你可以来前面 跟我搭档 That's all right. You can come up to the front and dance with me.
我还不如脱掉衣服 做个恶梦算了？ Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?
没关系了 我来了 很抱歉我迟到了 It's okay, it's okay! I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late.
好 我到了 Okay, here I am.
这位紧张的新人是谁？ So who's the new tense girl?
她是你的舞伴 She's your partner.
- 嗨 我是摩妮卡 - 嗨 - Hi, I'm Monica. - Hi.
哦… Oh, ha.
摩妮卡 Monica.
嗨 我是摩… Hi, I'm Mon...
娜娜 Nana.
- 摩娜娜？ - 是的 - Monana? - Yeah.
是荷兰语 It's Dutch.
开玩笑吧 我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年 You're kidding. I spent three years in Amsterdam.
我是宾州的荷兰人 Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
要跳舞了 And we're dancing!
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
嗨 Hi.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 你去哪了？ - 我刚从兽医那里回来 - Where have you been? - I just got back from the vet.
她不会叫你戴那些塑胶头套吧？ She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she?
她说马塞尔乱性不是暂时的 She says Marcel's humping thing is not a phase.
显然他已经性成熟了 Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
嘿 他比你还快耶 Hey, he beat you!
她说他会愈来愈暴力 侵略性愈来愈强 She says, as time goes on, he'll start getting aggressive and violent.
什么意思？ What does this mean?
我得放弃他 I have to give him up.
中央咖啡厅
我不敢相信 罗斯 这太扯了 I can't believe it, Rose. This sucks!
我不懂 你才刚养他 怎么可能已经成年了？ You just got him. How could he be an adult already?
我知道 前一天才小小只的… I know, I know. One day he's this little thing...
不知不觉中就变成… ...and before you know it, he's this little thing...
紧抓我的腿不放的小东西 ...I can't get off my leg.
没有办法能让你留下他吗？ Isn't there any way you can keep him?
没有 No. No.
兽医说除非有个地方… The vet said that unless he's in a place where he has regular access...
让他获得正常的猴爱 ...to some monkey loving...
否则他会愈来愈残暴 ...he's just gonna get vicious.
我得把他送到动物园 I just gotta get him into a zoo.
- 要怎么把猴子送到动物园？ - 我知道 - How do you get a monkey into a zoo? - I know that one!
不 那是教宗进入福斯汽车 No, that's popes into a Volkswagen.
我们申请了很多动物园 首要选择当然是州立动物园 We're applying to a lot of them. Our first choice would be a state zoo.
像是圣地亚哥 You know, like, uh, San Diego.
对吧？ Right?
但那可能是遥不可及的梦想 因为他来自州外 But that may just be a pipe dream because he's out-of-state.
我的兽医在迈阿密有认识人 所以有可能去那里 My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
但那里离海滩只有两条街 一定是轰趴动物园 But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 嗨 - 我们找到那个女生了 - Hi. - We found the girl!
- 什么？ - 有打电话给警察吗？ - What? - Did you call the cops?
没有 我们请她吃午餐 Nope. We took her to lunch.
你们自己的私自执法方式 Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
你疯了吗？这个女人偷了你的东西 Are you insane? This woman stole from you!
她偷东西 是小偷耶 She stole! She's a stealer!
跟她相处十分钟之后 你就会忘掉这些了 After you're with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget all that.
她真的是个奇女子… I mean, she's this astounding person...
振奋人心 ...with this amazing spirit!
是啊 可能是从啦啦队员那里偷来的 Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader!
- 把帽子脱掉 - 福斯车里的教宗 - Take off their hats. - Popes in a Volkswagen!
唔 Mm-hm.
我超爱那个笑话 I love that joke.
- 不可能 你不可能这么做 - 摩娜娜很勇敢 - No way! No way did you do this! - Monana was very brave.
超狂野的 It was so wild.
我们跟他们说我们是 615号房的刚氏姐妹… We told them we were the Gunnersons in room 615...
才知道波士顿的《塞尔蒂克队》包下整个六楼 ...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire sixth floor!
当他们发现我们很矮而且有胸部后 So when they caught on to the fact that we're short and have breasts...
就把我们轰出去 我被饭店赶出去 我耶 They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
好样的 摩娜娜 Go, Monana!
不是只有你们活在梦想中 Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream.
我得去为我不认识的人倒咖啡了 不用等我了 I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up.
噢 还有一件事… Oh, by the way...
我们明天要去参加百老汇的试镜 ...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
什么？ Excuse me?
《猫》剧有一个缺额 There's an open call for Cats.
我想说我们可以去演唱《回忆》… I'm thinking we go down there, sing "Memories"...
把自己当成傻子 你觉得如何？ ...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
要记得我是什么样的人 Remember who you're dealing with here. Ha.
我不像你 我连站在踢踏舞教室前面都有困难 I'm not like you. I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
那大概是因为你有孟诺教派的背景 That's because of your Amish background.
- 什么？ - 你是宾州的荷兰人 对吧？ - What? - Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
对 Right.
直到我买了吹风机 就被逐出村里 Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned.
我以前就跟你一样 I was just like you.
然后有一天 我看了一部改变我一生的电影 And then one day, I saw a movie that changed my life.
- 你有看过《死亡诗社》吗？ - 嗯 - Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? - Uh-huh.
我觉得那部电影超级… I thought that movie was so incredibly...
无聊的 ...boring!
最后那个孩子自杀… I mean, that thing at the end where the kid...
只因为不能参与话剧演出？ ...kills himself because he can't be in the play?
搞什么？ What was that?
拜托 等个一年 离家参与社区话团演出不就行了 It's like, "Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater!"
我走出戏院后心想… I walked out of there, and I thought:
"我浪费了永远拿不回来的两小时生命" "Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back!"
那个想法震撼了我 让我及时行乐 And that scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
哇 Wow.
那我绝对不推荐你看《窈窕奶爸》 Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
天啊 Oh, God.
我们进不了斯克兰顿 We didn't get into Scranton.
那是我们的保障动物园 That was our safety zoo.
他们连狗和牛都收 They take, like, dogs and cows.
看吧 See?
我不懂是我还是他 比较难受 I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
我想是那张椅子最难受 I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it.
马塞尔 马塞尔 Marcel. Marcel.
马塞尔 不要弄了 Marcel, no.
好孩子 Good boy!
看到了吗？怎么可能没人要他？ See? How can nobody want him?
会有人要的 Somebody will.
你们知道已经有位乔瑟夫•史达林了吗？ You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
你在开玩笑吧 You're kidding!
显然他是个俄国独裁者 屠杀过很多人 Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people!
- 你会想说这种事应该知道的 - 你会想说我该知道的 - You'd think you would've known that! - You'd think I would've.
菲比 你觉得什么艺名适合我？ Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
火焰男孩 Flame Boy!
你的动物园在哪里？ Where exactly is your zoo?
严格来说 它不能算是动物园 Well, it's technically not a zoo per se.
它比较像是互动的野生体验 It's, uh, more of an interactive wildlife experience.
让我问问你几个问题 他叫做马塞尔对吧？ Let me ask you some questions about... Is it, uh, Marcel?
- 对 - 对… - Yes. - Yes. Uh...
他会和其他动物打架吗？ Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
不会 他非常温驯 No, no. He's very docile.
即使被逼到角落去也一样吗？ Hmm. Even if he were cornered?
嗯 我不太清楚 为什么问？ Well, I don't know. Why?
他掌控小东西的能力为何？ Um, how is he at handling small objects?
他可以握住香蕉 如果你是这个意思的话 He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean.
铁槌或小刀呢？ What about a hammer or a small blade?
他为什么会需要小刀？ Why would he need a blade?
如果他得面对猎豹或有角的动物… If he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns...
总得给他点东西自我防卫吧 ...you got to give the little guy something.
不然就太残忍了 Otherwise, it's just cruel!
他能去圣地亚哥了 He got into San Diego!
- 什么？ - 对 - What? - Yeah.
我们散步回来后 电话响起 We were coming back from our walk, and the phone was ringing...
- 他进了 - 他进了？ - He's in! - He's in? Ah!
你有听到吗 马塞尔？ Did you hear that, Marcel?
是圣地亚哥耶 太棒了 San Diego! San Diego! Yeah!
你真的犯下大错 圣地亚哥的环境是很不错… You're making a mistake. San Diego's well and good...
但如果你把他交给我 我会训练他对抗瞎眼的兔子… ...but if you give him to me, I'll start him against a blind rabbit...
还给你百分之二十的门票收入 ...and give you 20 percent of the gate.
哟嚯 Yo-ho!
你去哪里了？ Where have you been?
摩妮卡和我跑去大使馆派对 Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
你喝醉了吗？ Are you drunk?
才没有 No!
我说谎 I'm lying.
我超醉的 I am so drunk!
天啊 Oh, God!
太好了 你该打通电话回来的 Ugh. Great. You know what? You could have called.
我一直在家里担心你 I've been up here. I've been worried...
摩妮卡 Monica.
摩妮卡？ Monica?
水超棒的 Water rules!
是的 没错 Yes. Yes, it does.
餐厅今天又打来了 他们想知道你会不会去上班 The restaurant called. They want to know if you're showing up.
不会 Nope!
我今天要去看大苹果马戏团 I'm going to the Big Apple Circus today.
你在干嘛？你会失去你的工作 这一点都不像你 What are you doing? You're gonna lose your job. This is not you!
不 这正是我 No, it is me!
我不只是那种必须拍松枕头… I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows...
帐单一来就立刻缴钱的人 ...and pay the bills as soon as they come in!
我跟她在一起时 就不再是那样的人 You know, when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that!
我是… I'm...
我是摩娜娜 I'm Monana!
喂？ Ahem, hello?
她在 请稍等 Yes, she is. Hold on a second, please.
摩娜娜 找你的 Ahem, Monana, it's for you.
信用卡公司打来的 The credit card people.
喂？ Hello?
是 Yes?
天啊 Oh, my God!
谢了 Thanks.
怎么了？ What?
他们逮捕摩妮卡了 They've arrested Monica.
纽约市矫正所
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
你还好吗？ How are you?
还可以 幸好我喜欢蓝色 I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my color.
你怎么知道我在这里的？ How did you know I was here?
因为… Because...
我是摩妮卡•盖勒 ...I'm Monica Geller.
你之前用的是我的信用卡 It was my credit card you were using.
这点我完全没料到 That I was not expecting.
我想让你知道 报案的人不是我 I want you to know, I didn't turn you in.
噢 Oh.
- 谢了 - 不 我才要谢谢你 - Thanks. - No, thank you.
你带给我太多东西了 You have given me so much.
如果不是你 我永远无法… If it wasn't for you, I'd never have gotten...
在冬花园剧院演唱《回忆》 ...to sing "Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater.
其实你只开口唱了"回"而已 Actually, you only got to sing "Memo..."
我不敢相信你在这里 没有你我该怎么办？ I can't believe you're in here. What am I gonna do without you?
谁会跟我混进大使馆宴会？ Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me?
谁要带我去看大苹果马戏团？ Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
摩妮卡 我每天早上都得在25个人面前尿尿… Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women...
你却担心谁要带你去看大苹果马戏团？ ...and you're worried about who will take you to the Big Apple Circus?
也不是担心 我只是纳闷而已 Well, not worried, you know, just wondering.
没什么好纳闷的 There's nothing to wonder about.
你就回去过以前的生活 因为那才是真正的你 You'll go back to being who you were because that's who you are.
- 也不尽然 - 就是这样 - Not necessarily. - Yes, necessarily.
我不知道是为什么 I don't know what it is.
或许和你是孟诺教派的人有关 Maybe it's the Amish thing.
我其实不是孟诺教派的人 Um, I'm not actually Amish.
真的吗？那你为何那么像？ Really? Then why are you like that?
站在门边的那个 要不要加入？ You by the door, in or out?
要 In!
后面的那个 你全都跳错了 You in the back, you're getting it wrong!
至少我有在跳 At least I'm doing it!
这是飞往圣地亚哥 67航班的最后登机通知 This is the final boarding call for Flight 67 to San Diego...
登机门为42A ...boarding at Gate 42A.
好 再见了 小家伙 Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy.
- 我替你写了一首诗 - 啊 - I wrote you this poem. - Aw.
但是上了飞机才能吃 Okay, but don't eat it till you get on the plane.
- 谢谢你 菲比阿姨 - 啊 - Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. - Aww.
好 再见了 好小子 Okay, bye, champ.
我知道圣地亚哥有很多美眉… There's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego...
但是记得要学的事情还很多 ...but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
罗斯 我不知道该说些什么 他是只猴子 I don't know what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
说出心里的感受就行了 Just say what you feel, Joey.
马塞尔 我饿了 Marcel, I'm hungry.
那很好啊 That was good.
- 马塞尔 这是给你的 - 哦 - Marcel, this is for you. - Oh.
这是… 你知道 让你… It's, uh, just, you know, something to, um...
在飞机上有事情做 ...do on the plane.
如果你们不介意的话 我想跟他独处一下 If you don't mind, I'd like a moment, just me and him.
- 好 - 当然可以 - Sure. - Of course. Absolutely.
哦 Oh.
马塞尔 过来这边 Marcel, come here. Come here.
来吧 Come here.
小子… Well, buddy...
就这样了 ...this is it.
我想说几件事 There's just a couple of things I wanted to say.
我会很想念你的 I'm really gonna miss you.
我永远不会忘记你 You know? And I'm never gonna forget about you.
你对我而言 一直不只是只宠物 You've been more than just a pet to me.
你更像是… You've been more like a...
好 马塞尔 你可以…？ Okay. Marcel, would you...?
马塞尔 你可以不要弄我的脚吗？ Marcel, would you leave my leg alone?
你能暂时不要乱来吗？马塞…？ Would you just stop humping me for two seconds? Marc... Would you...?
好 麻烦把他带走 带他走吧 Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him.
喔 希望我是你手上的手套… O! That I were a glove upon that hand...
这样就能抚摸你的脸颊 ...that I might touch thy cheek.
行了 谢谢 That's fine. Thank you.
下一位 Next.
嗨 我来试演马丘修的角色 Hi. Uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
- 你的名字？ - 豪顿•麦鼠蹊 - Name? - Holden McGroin.