谁是乖宝宝啊？ Who the winny-binny boy?
乖宝宝就是你 Oh, you the winny-winny-binny-binny boy!
好的 Yes.
别哭 Don't cry.
别哭 Don't cry, huh?
他为什么还哭？ Why is he still crying?
让我抱一下 Let me hold him for a sec.
来吧 Here we go. Huh?
好 不哭了 Huh. There we are.
或许是我的缘故 Maybe it's me.
别傻了 小班爱你 他今天是闹别扭先生 Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Cranky Pants.
我从前和一个爱闹别扭小姐交往过 You know, I once dated a Miss Cranky Pants.
挺可爱的 就是比较情绪化 Lovely girl. Kind of moody.
好了 他不哭了 There we go, all better.
可爱小乖宝 There's my little boy. Eh.
让我看一下好吗？ Can I, uh, see something?
- 好酷 - 他恨我 - Cool! - He hates me.
- 我侄子讨厌我 - 别这么说 - My nephew hates me! - Come on, don't do this.
万一我的孩子讨厌我呢？ 我该怎么办？ What if my own baby hates me, huh? What do I do then?
摩妮卡 别这样 Monica, stop! This is nuts.
你可知道你得等多久 才会烦恼那问题？ Do you know how long it'll be before you have to deal with this?
你现在连男朋友都没有 You don't even have a boyfriend yet.
乔伊 她看起来并不胖 Joey, she does not look fat.
没有人告诉你活着有多累 ∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 ∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 ∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
日复一日 年复一年 ∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
时运不济 活着受罪 ∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
纵有狂风暴雨 ∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
支持一如往昔 ∮ Like I've been there before ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我相偎相依 ∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
拿去吧 Here you go.
嘿 摩妮卡 Oh, hey, Mon.
咕 咕 咕 Goo, goo, goo!
真好笑 让我看一下 That is so funny! Let me see that a sec. Ha-ha-ha.
哇 Whoa.
你还好吧 罗斯？ You okay?
我不知道 I don't know.
派里面有什么东西？ What's in this pie?
奶油 蛋 面粉 莱姆和奇异果… I don't know. Um, butter and eggs and flour and lime and kiwi...
奇异果？奇异果？ Kiwi? Kiwi?!
你说这是柠檬派 You said it was a key lime pie.
不 我说是奇异果柠檬派 那便是它与众不同之处 No, I didn't. I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
那便是它害我嗝屁的原因 That's what's gonna kill me.
我对奇异果过敏 Ahem. I'm allergic to kiwi.
不 你过敏的东西是龙虾 花生 和… No, you're not. You're allergic to lobster and peanuts and...
- 天啊 - 愈来愈严重了 - Oh, my God! - Uh. It's definitely getting worse.
你舌头肿起来了吗？ All right. Is your tongue swelling up?
要不是那样 就是我的嘴变小了 Either that or my mouth is getting smaller!
- 去穿外套 我们去医院 - 嗯 - Get your coat. We'll to the hospital. - Uh.
- 他会没事吗？ - 他得打针 - Will he be okay? - He's gotta get a shot.
事实上 我已经慢慢好起来了 真的 Uh, you know, actually, it's getting better. It is.
我们不必去 谁想玩猜字游戏？ Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?
快去穿外套 Jacket, now!
那小班呢？ 我们不能带小婴儿去医院 What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to the hospital.
我们可以照顾他 We'll watch him.
不行 Uh. Ha, I don't think so.
怎么？我有七个天主教姊妹 我照顾过上百个孩子 What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids.
拜托 我们愿意帮忙 对吧？ Come on, we want to do it. Don't we?
我原本想打篮球 I was gonna play basketball...
但现在球没了 打不成了 but I guess that's out the window.
你们若带他出去散步 记得带他的帽子 If you take him out for a walk, remember to bring his hat.
牛奶在冰箱里 尿布在袋子里 There's milk in the refrigerator and diapers in the bag.
帽子 牛奶…了 Hat, milk... Got it!
- 咱们走 - 好的 - Let's go. - Okay.
包在我们身上 Consider it done!
你听懂他讲的话？ You understood?
我舅舅萨尔是大舌头 My uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
老婆很辣的那个舅舅？ Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
(中央咖徘厅)
瑞秋 Hey, Rach.
你想听我今天下午要表演的歌吗？ You want to hear the song I'm singing this afternoon?
- 我今天早上洗澡时写的 - 好的 - I wrote it this morning in the shower. - Okay.
我在洗澡 我写一首歌 I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
你若已听过 请提醒我 Stop me if you've heard it
我全身都是泡泡 我的头发湿透 My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
秀发倒过来写是发秀 And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget
瑞秋 你可以过来一下吗？ Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see you for a minute?
- 什么事？ - 呃 - What's up? - Uh...
我要告诉你… FYl:
我决定每个星期天下午 付钱请专业歌手驻唱 I've decided to pay a professional musician to play here on Sundays.
她叫史黛芬妮 听说她很出色 Her name is Stephanie something. Uh, she's supposed to be very good.
那菲比呢？ But what about Phoebe?
瑞秋 我不是说你朋友唱得很烂 Rachel, uh, it's not that your friend is bad.
事实上是 她烂到… It's that she's so bad...
让我想用手指戳进眼睛 穿透我的脑子… she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain...
在脑子里搅拌 and swirl it around.
好的 她的歌不合你胃口 Okay, so you're not a fan.
但是 拜托 你不能这样对她 But, I mean, come on. You cannot do this to her.
呃 Uh.
喔 不行… Oh, no, no, no.
- 得由我告诉她？ - 嗯 - I have to do this to her? - Mm-hm.
揉搓起泡 冲洗 重覆 Lather, rinse, repeat And lather, rinse, repeat
视个人需要而定 As needed
我们东西没带齐全 We didn't bring enough stuff.
你是不是忘了带宝宝的铁钻？ Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
我跟你说 这是值得的 I'm telling you, it'll be worth it.
女人都喜欢小宝宝 好吧？ It's a known fact that women love babies, all right?
女人喜欢爱小孩的男人 这是感性的问题 Women love guys who love babies. It's the sensitive thing.
把宝宝朝向那群美眉 搞不好其中一个会上钩 Aim him at that pack of babes. Maybe one of them will break away.
等等 别管她们 这里有一个 正左方 Wait, forget them. We got one. Hard left.
- 宝宝给我 - 不 我抱就好 - Give me the baby. - No, I got him.
别这样 我说真的 Come on, seriously.
你是真的想抱他？ Oh, seriously, you want him?
- 哈罗 - 哈罗 - Hello. - Hello.
这小可爱是谁呀？ Who is this little cutie-pie?
别认为我不够谦虚 你是指… Well, don't think me immodest, but...
我？ me.
你想闻闻他吗？ Want to smell him?
你是指闻宝宝吧？ I assume we're talking about the baby?
喔 是的 Oh, yeah. Ha, ha.
他身上有种很棒的宝宝味道 你闻他的头 He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
我的子宫突然痉挛了一下 My uterus just skipped a beat.
我就说吧 What'd I tell you?
你们这么做真好 It's great you're doing this.
我们是好男人 Well, we are great guys.
我弟弟和他男朋友 一直想领养孩子 My brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt.
你们是透过哪个领养中介机构？ What agency did you two go through?
但那是我的节目 But this is my gig.
我一直在这里表演 This is where I play.
我的名字用粉笔写在外面黑板上 My name is written out there in chalk.
粉笔不能那么轻易…抹掉 You know, you can't just erase chalk.
亲爱的 我很抱歉 Honey, I'm sorry.
他打算付钱给那女人？ And he's going to be paying this woman?
他干嘛不直接送她一个宝座和皇冠？ Why doesn't he just give her a throne and a crown?
还有一把黄金棍子 上面有一颗大球的？ And, like, you know, a gold stick with a ball on top?
泰利超烂 所以我们才一直都骂 "泰利是大烂人 " Terry is a jerk! That's why we always say, "Terry's a jerk!"
那句话便是那么来的 That's where that came from.
好吧 Yeah, okay.
你大概已尽力为我争取了 You probably did everything you could.
我去看是否还能够再商量一下 You know what? Let me just see what else I can do.
听着 All right, look, look.
你可以让她在史黛什么妮的表演完之后上场啦 Just let her go on after Stephanie whatever her name is.
你到时不会在场 你又不付她钱 You won't be here. You don't pay her.
我不知道… I don't know.
我会清洗卡布奇诺机器 I'll clean the cappuccino machine!
你平常都不清洗卡布奇诺机器？ You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
我当然都有清洗 Of course I clean it.
我是说 我会清洗的 I mean, I will clean it.
我会清洗的 I will clean it.
好吧 好啦 All right, fine, fine, fine!
噢 Oh.
- 谈好了 - 真的吗？ - Done. - Really?
谁替你撑腰卖命啊？ Who's working for you, babe?
- 老天 太棒了 - 是啊 - Oh, my God! This is so exciting! - I know.
我可以拿多少钱？ How much am I gonna get?
什么？ What?
他说他付钱给在这里表演的人 He's paying the people who were playing.
不是的… Oh, no, no, no.
他付钱给那女人因为她是职业歌手 I meant, he's paying that other woman because she's a professional.
我才不要当这里唯一没拿钱的歌手 I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
可是 菲比… But, Pheebs...
很抱歉 我不接受 Uh-uh, I'm sorry, no!
我才不是什么次级慈善乐团 No, I'm not some sloppy second, you know, charity band.
这城里有成上千家店… There are thousands of places in this city...
有人愿意付钱听我唱歌 where people would pay to hear me play.
我只为我自己弹唱 When I play, I play for me
我才不需要你的怜悯 I don't need your charity
谢谢 Thank you!
我不要打针 或许他们可以把针筒… I'm not getting a shot. Maybe they can take the needle...
对准我的嘴巴喷射 就像玩喷水枪 and squirt it into my mouth. Like a squirt gun.
哈罗 我是卡林医生 Hello there. I'm Dr. Carlin.
今天有人过敏唷 I see someone's having a little allergic reaction.
医生 我可以借一步说话吗？ Doctor, can I see you for just a moment?
我哥哥有一点针头恐惧症 My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
你告诉他我的喷水枪点子？ Did you tell him about my squirt gun idea?
我这个博士哥哥想知道… My brother, the Ph.D., would like to know...
你是否能够以口服剂进行治疗？ if there's any way to treat this orally?
不行 No.
在这种情况下 必须施以注射 而且必须立即进行 Under these circumstances, it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
怎么样？ So?
噢 Oh.
坐下来 医生说必须打针注射 Go and have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's got to be a needle.
你得勇敢一点 你可以为我勇敢一点吗？ You're just going to have to be brave. Can you do that for me?
- 好吧 - 好的 - Okay. - Okay.
好乖 你真听话 Oh, boy! You are doing so good.
- 你要捏我的手吗？ - 要 - You want to squeeze my hand? - Yes.
罗斯 别捏太紧 Ross, don't squeeze it so hard.
亲爱的 我说真的 别捏太紧 Honey, really. Don't squeeze it so hard!
快放手 Let go of my hand!
真是好点子 下次咱们若要把妹… Good plan. Next time we want to pick up women...
可以去公园亲亲抱抱 we should go to the park and make out.
计程车 Taxi! Taxi!
瞧那两个辣妹 Look at that talent.
我们练习叫车 没事 Just practicing. You're good.
继续开吧 Carry on.
等一下 Wait, wait, wait!
小宝宝 他好可爱 Hey, you. He's just adorable.
你可以直接告诉他吗？ 他觉得自己脸色太粉 Can you tell him that? Because he thinks he looks too pink.
- 你们今天出来做什么？ - 我们不是… - What are you guys out doing today? - We're not out.
不是的 No, no. No.
我们只是两个异性恋男子… We're two heterosexual guys hanging with the son...
照顾我们另一个异性恋朋友的儿子 做些异性恋男子做的事 of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.
- 你讲完了吗？ - 讲完了 - You done? - Yeah.
我们的站到了 Oh, there's our stop.
不会吧 我们也在这站下车 Get out of here! This is our stop.
- 你们也住在这附近？ - 是的 当然 - You guys live around here too? - Yeah, sure.
我们就住在人行道旁那栋大楼 We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk.
你们知道？ You know it?
既然我们是邻居 我们何不去喝一杯？ Ha, ha. Since we're neighbors, what do you say we, uh, get together for a drink?
你们想去麦考餐厅吗？ So, uh, you want to go to Markel's?
当然 他们特别欢迎我们 Oh, sure, they love us over there.
你们的宝宝呢？ Where's your baby?
小班 小班 Ben! Ben!
太好了 或许他会听到你喊拉铃下车 That's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord!
快停车 喂 Stop the bus! Hey!
- 车上有个宝宝 - 等等 - Hey, there's a baby! - Wait, wait, wait!
你确定他没弄断？真的很痛 Are you sure he didn't break it? It hurts.
没 只是骨头瘀青 No, it's just a good bone bruise.
这是你戒指造成的割伤口 And right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
- 我真的很抱歉 - 没关系 - I'm really sorry. - It's okay.
抱歉 Sorry.
抱歉 我又能发嘶嘶声了 Hmm, sorry! I got my S's back! Ha, ha.
我们晚点再庆祝吧 Which we can celebrate later.
庆祝 庆祝 Celebrate. Celebrate...
他是一个双重 双重… He was a double, double
双重关节的男孩 Double-jointed boy
嗨 Hey.
你就是那个专业吉他歌手？ So, um, are you the professional guitar player?
是的 我是史黛芬妮 Yeah, I'm Stephanie.
是啊 我的名字原本也在上面 现在被换成胡萝卜蚤糕 Oh, right. My name was on there, but now it just says carrot cake.
好的 Okay.
你会几个音调？ So, um, how many chords do you know?
- 我会所有音调 - 你会D大调罗？ - All of them. - So you know D?
- 会 - 你会A小调吗？ - Yeah. - Do you know A-minor?
- 会 - 好的 - Yeah. - Okay.
那你会从D大调转A小调吗？ Do you know how to go from D to A-minor?
- 会啊 - 好的 - Yeah. - Okay.
那你的吉它有背带吗？ Um, so does your guitar have a strap?
- 没有 - 我的有 - No. - Oh. Mine does.
史黛芬妮什么音调都懂 Stephanie knows all the chords
快点接电话 Come on! Pick up, pick up!
哈罗 Hello. Ahem.
巴士运输中心？是的 哈罗 Transit Authority? Yes, hello.
我正在做写书研究 I'm doing research for a book.
我想知道如果有人把宝宝遗留在巴士上 应该怎么办 I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus.
是的 我知道那真的很愚蠢 Yes, I realize that would be a stupid character.
是这样的 我们把婴儿座椅遗留在巴士上 Here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus.
它是白色塑胶 能放进推车里 It's white plastic and it fits onto a stroller.
对了 里面有一个宝宝 Oh, and there was a baby in it.
他想和你说 He wants to talk to you.
请大家为中央咖啡厅欢迎… Everybody, let's give a warm Central Perk welcome to...
泰利是个烂人 他不肯让我演唱 Terry's a jerk and he won't let me work
我痛恨中央咖啡厅 And I hate Central Perk
史黛芬妮·席佛 Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer!
哇 Whoo!
首先我要演唱一首我为我的初恋爱人写的歌 I'd like to start with a song I wrote for the first man I ever loved.
查克端… Zachary...
都去死吧 Are all invited to bite me
(纽约市卫生局)
我们刚才打电话来询问宝宝的事 他在这里吗？ We're the guys that called about the baby! Is he here?!
- 他在这里 - 哦 - He's here. - Aah!
你们其中一个是宝宝父亲吧 I assume one of you is the father.
- 就是我 - 是我 - That's me. - I'm him.
事实上 我们俩都是孩子的父亲 Actually, uh, ahem, we're both the father.
喔 小班 嘿 小鬼 Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy.
请告诉我你知道哪个是我们的宝宝 Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
那个衣服上有鸭子 这个上面是小丑 That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns.
小班的衣服图案是鸭子 And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
或小丑 Or clowns.
等等 Oh, wait.
那个是小班 记得他嘴巴旁有颗可爱的小痣？ That one's Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth!
- 是吗？ - 是的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
嘿 小班 记得我们吗？ Hey, Ben! Remember us?
痣掉下去了 Okay, the mole came off.
- 我们该怎么办？ - 呃 - What are we gonna do? - Uh.
我们丢铜板决定 鸭子或小丑 We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
- 丢铜板决定哪个宝宝？ - 你有更好的点子？ - Flip for the baby? - You got a better idea?
好吧 丢上去就喊 All right, call it in the air.
正面 Heads.
- 正面 - 万岁 - Heads, it is. - Yes.
我们得先决定正面代表什么 We have to assign heads to something!
对 好的 Right! Okay.
好的… Okay, uh...
鸭子代表正面 因为鸭子有头 Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
你小时候过生日是什么鬼怪小丑去闹场？ What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
叫我清晨天使 Just call me angel Of the morning, angel
在离开我之前 轻触我的脸颊 Just touch my cheek Before you leave me, baby
叫我清晨天使 Just call me angel Of the morning, angel
然后转身离去 Then slowly turn away
我不会求你留下来 I won't beg you to stay
陪我 With me
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey - Oh, hi.
来 我想你一定冷了 Here. I thought you might be cold.
谢谢 Thank you.
噢 Oh.
瞧瞧你 你收获不少 Oh, look at you! You did pretty well.
八块二毛七 $8.27.
不完全是 因为我一开始放了两块钱 But not really, because I put in the first two.
只是让钱滚滚来 还有让自己舒服一点 Just to get the ball rolling and to make myself feel better.
你有好过些吗？ Do you?
没有 No.
我真的不是卖唱的料子 You know, this whole playing for money thing is so not good for me.
我唱《我要自杀》那首歌时… I don't know, when I sang "Su-su-suicide"...
赚到一块七毛五 I got, like, $1.75.
可是《臭猫》呢？ But then "Smelly Cat"? Oh.
我只赚到两毛五和一个保险套 I got 25 cents and a condom.
我替《臭猫》觉得很难过 So, you know, now I just feel really bad for "Smelly Cat."
你知道… Well, you know.
不是每个人都懂《臭猫》 Honey, I don't think everybody gets "Smelly Cat."
如果他们只养过健康宠物 八成完全听不懂 I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then whoosh!
不光只是那样 But it's not even that, you know?
我一向唱我写的歌 因为那让我很开心 I used to do my songs because it made me happy.
但现在却搞得向钱看齐 Now it's just all about the money, you know?
店里有人想念你 Well, people missed you in there.
事实上 有人点唱《臭猫》 In fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat."
真的吗？谁？ Really? From who?
我 Well, me.
我知道那不是你最卖座的歌 但那是我最喜欢的歌 And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
嗨 Hi.
我刚才是否不小心 把保险套掉在箱子里？ Uh. Did I accidentally drop a condom in your case?
我有紧急情况 It's kind of an emergency.
是的 Yeah.
- 拿去吧 - 多谢 - Here you go. - Thanks a lot.
克莉丝汀 我拿到了 Hey, Christine! I got it!
谢谢你陪我去看医生 I want to thank you for being there for me.
很抱歉我差点捏断你的手 And I'm sorry I almost broke your hand. Ha, ha.
没关系 很抱歉我害你中毒 That's okay. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
唔 Mm.
记得我从前用铅笔刺你的手？ Remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
记得？你想这是什么？雀斑吗？ Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
噢 Oh.
记得我曾经把西薇亚的南瓜往你脸上丢？ What about the time I hit you in the face with Sylvian's pumpkin?
你记得我把扫帚插进你的脚踏车轮… Remember when I stuck that broom in your spokes...
害你的头撞上人行道？ and you hit your head on the curb?
不记得 No.
不过我记得大家老是告诉我那件事 But I remember people telling me about it.
噢 Oh.
真希望小班有个妹妹 I hope Ben has a little sister.
是啊 Yeah.
我希望她能好好管教他 And I hope she can kick his ass.
我去换新绷带 I'm gonna get a new Band-Aid.
还有记得我曾经把你的马利布男娃娃脚剪掉吗？ How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
是你干的？ That was you?
呃 Uh.
他的脚感染很严重 不剪掉不行 They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
噢 Aw.
我的小侄子 My little nephew.
过来 小宝贝 Come here, little one!
我的小宝贝 小班 Oh. There's my little baby, Ben!
我的小乖乖 Hey, my little boy. Oh.
他没哭耶 Hey, he's not crying!
万岁 Yes.
还有派 There's still pie! Ha-ha-ha.
我来了 I'm here. I'm here.
我的小宝贝好吗？ Uh. How's my little boy, huh?
你要爸爸替你换尿布吗？ 我知道… You want Daddy to change your diaper? I know, I know.
你今天和乔伊叔叔 钱德叔叔玩得开心吗？ Did you have fun with, uh, Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
开心啊 Oh, yeah.
- 他今天搭公车呢 - 哦 - He rode the bus today. - Ooh.
这个… Well.
大男孩搭公车… Big boy riding the bus...
我有个问题… Hey, I have a question.
为什么这上面写着 "公众服务财产"？ How come it says, "Property of Human Services"?
你… You...
你一定会喜欢这故事 You are gonna love this.
你可以抱一下小班吗？ Can you hold Ben for a sec?
过来… Come here. Come here.
退后 我手上有奇异果 快跑 乔伊 快跑 Stay back! I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!
臭猫 臭猫 Smelly cat, smelly cat
他们喂你吃了什么？ What are they feeding you?
不 很抱歉 应该是… No, no. I'm sorry, it's, ahem:
臭猫 臭猫 Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 好多了 - 是吗？ - Better! - Yeah?
好多了 很好 Much better. Good.
别难过 因为这首歌挺难的 Don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
是啊 Yeah.
- 要再来一次吗？ - 从头？ - You want to try it again? - From the top?
没有"从头" 好吧？ There is no "top," all right?
那便是《臭猫》美妙之处 That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat."
你跟我唱好了 Um. Ahem. Why don't you just follow me?
- 好吧 - 嗯 - Okay. - Mm-hm.
臭猫 臭猫 Smelly cat, smelly cat
他们喂你吃了什么？ What are they feeding you?
臭猫 臭猫 Smelly cat, smelly cat
这不是你的错 It's not your fault
那太多了 抱歉 That's too much. Sorry.