好 别偷看 All right, no peeking. No peeking.
别偷看 No peeking. No peeking!
好吧 我张开眼睛时 你最好是有穿衣服的 All right, all right, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
好 张开眼睛 All right. Open your eyes!
我的老天爷啊 Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
《我们的日子》跟我续约了 Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option!
- 恭喜 - 对啊 - Congratulations! - I know! Ha-ha-ha.
现在我们总算 能好好看《绿色田野》了 Now we can watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
哪张沙发是我的？ So, uh, which one is mine?
你爱坐哪一张都可以 Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want!
那张不行 Not that one.
太棒了 Oh, yes!
太棒了 这才是人生 Oh, yeah! That's the stuff.
噢 Oh.
- 要来吗？ - 当然 - Do we dare? - We dare.
噢 Oh.
噢 Oh!
没有人告诉你活着有多累 ∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 ∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 ∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
日复一日 年复一年 ∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
时运不济 活着受罪 ∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
纵有狂风暴雨 ∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
支持一如往昔 ∮ Like I've been there before ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我相偎相依 ∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
我不敢相信 两头牛做出这么大的牺牲 I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice...
只是为了让你们能抬腿看电视 so you could watch TV with your feet up.
不 它们是椅子形状的牛 No, they were chair-shaped cows.
反正他们在大自然是活不了的 They never would have survived in the wild.
这个萤慕太棒了 This screen is amazing.
- 迪克·凡戴克大小跟真人一样 - 呃 - Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size. - Uh-huh.
萝丝·玛丽比较适合小荧幕 对吧？ Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
- 大家好 - 嘿 - Hi, you guys. - Hey.
嘿 Hey.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hey, you. - Hey, you.
- 喂 喂 - 噢 - Whoa, hey, whoa. - Oh.
今天你还好吗？ So, uh, how was your day?
和平常差不多 Oh, you know, pretty much the usual.
阳光闪耀 鸟在歌唱 Uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
真的吗？我也是 Really? Mine too.
酷啊 我也是 Hey, cool! Mine too!
知道了 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我得回博物馆 所以… I gotta get to the museum. So, um...
- 晚上见？ - 好的 - I'll see you tonight? - Okay.
噢 Oh.
大家再见 Bye, guys!
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye.
- 今晚见？ - 喂 喂 - Tonight? - Hey, whoa.
- 今晚有什么事吗？ - 我们的第一次正式约会 - What's tonight? - It is our first official date.
我们第一次约会 Our first date.
哈罗 Uh, ha, ha. Hello?
嗨 Hi.
今晚？你该帮我当服务生？我的餐饮服务？ Tonight? You're supposed to waitress for me? My catering thing?
- 你想起来了吗？ - 天啊 摩妮卡 我忘了 - Any of that trigger anything? - Oh, God, Monica. I forgot!
这是我们第一次约会 This is our first date.
- 对 但我妈帮我找到这个客人 - 我可以当服务生 - Yes, but my mom got me this job. - I can be a waitress!
谢谢你 谢谢你 看吧 菲比 Thank you, thank you. See? Phoebe! Phoebe!
- 真的吗？菲比 - 呃 - Really, Pheebs? - Uh-huh.
你得当真的服务生 You'd have to be an actual waitress.
跟当小熊宝宝是不一样的 This can't be like your "I can be a bear cub" thing.
我可以当服务生 好 看我的 I can be a waitress. Okay, watch this.
给我两份一号餐 不要培根 Um, give me two number ones, 86 the bacon...
还有一份炒蛋吐司 one Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck them!
是詹姆斯·庞德 It's James Bond!
- 抱歉我们迟到了 - 没关系 请进 - Sorry we're late. - That's okay. Come on in.
对不起 摩妮卡·盖勒会来吗？我听说她会来 Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
柏克医生 我就是 Dr. Burke, it's me.
摩妮卡？ Monica?
天啊 你以前好… My God! You used to be so...
我是说你一定减了… I mean, you've... You must have lost like...
- 你看起来很漂亮 - 谢谢 - You look great. - Thank you.
这位是菲比 她来帮我忙 This is Phoebe. She'll be helping me.
菲比 幸会 Hi, Phoebe. Nice to meet you.
- 你还好吗？ - 我很好 你呢？ - So how you been? - Great. How have you been?
你显然知道芭芭拉跟我分开了 Oh, obviously you know Barbara and I split up...
不然你不会歪着头 or you wouldn't do the head tilt.
歪着头？ The head tilt?
自从我离婚后 每个人跟我问好时 Since the divorce, everybody asks how I am...
都会同情地歪着头 "你还好吧？还可以吧？" with a sympathetic head tilt. "How you doing? You okay?"
噢 Oh.
- 对不起 - 不会 - I'm sorry. - No, no.
没关系的 相信我 我也是一样 It's fine. Believe me, I do it too.
我都会点头说"我还好" I always answer with the "I'm okay" head bob. "I'm okay."
"你确定？" "对 我很好" "You're sure?" "Yeah, I'm fine."
我得去准备音乐了 我买了新CD换片器 I gotta set up the music. I got a new CD changer.
当然 离婚后我只剩四张CD可换 Of course, the divorce only left me with four CDs to change.
那真的太糟糕了 Oh, that's too bad.
我会撑下来的 I'll survive.
沃德 反身上篮 Ward. With a reverse.
两份大的 都要多加起司 Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both.
听着 But listen...
不要按19号门铃 don't ring the buzzer for 19.
按20号盖勒与葛林的门铃 Ring 20. Geller/Green.
她们会让你进来的 好吗？ They'll let you in, okay?
如果你按我们的门铃 就拿不到小费 If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you.
好 谢谢 Okay, thanks.
披萨马上就送到 我说过我们根本不必站起来 Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
如果我们想尿尿呢？ What if we have to pee?
我会叫他们别送汽水过来 I'll cancel the sodas.
你得出去 这是你的派对 Get back out there. It's your party!
但他们都好无聊 一堆眼科医生 But they're so dull. They're all ophthalmologists.
你就是眼科医生 You're an ophthalmologist.
那是因为我爸妈要我当医生 我想当警长 Because my parents wanted me to be. I wanted to be a sheriff.
那好好笑 凯迪拉克 白内障 我懂了 Ha, ha. That's funny. Cadillac, cataract. I get it.
别过来 But you stay out there!
- 看到了没？ - 好吧 听我说 - You see? - All right, I tell you what.
五分钟后我就去救你出来 就说烤肉串出了问题 I'll come get you in five minutes with some sort of, um, kebob emergency.
好吧 Okay.
那样子好多了 Ah. Better.
天啊 来了 Oh, God, here we go.
想看他们抓狂吗？ Hey, want to see them go nuts?
看好了 Watch this.
谁需要杯子？ Who needs glasses?
- 你好神魂颠倒哦 - 我才没有 - You are so smitten. - I am not!
哦 你简直是只神魂颠倒的小猫咪 Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten.
噢 Oh.
- 你该约他出去 - 柏克医生？ - You should ask him out. - Dr. Burke?
怎么可以 他是大人 I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown-up.
所以呢？你们俩对彼此超有好感的 So? You two are totally into each other.
菲比 他是我爸妈的朋友 他比我大二十岁吧 He's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
那你不会再跟他见面？ So you're never gonna see him again?
也不能那么说 Not never.
我约他明天帮我检查眼睛 I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
- 你不是刚检查过眼睛吗？ - 对 但你知道的 - Didn't you just get your eyes checked? - Yeah, but, you know, uh...
27岁的人很容易眼睛发生病变 27 is a dangerous eye age.
我不是说那部电影不好看 我只是说那有一点… I'm not saying it was a bad movie. I'm just saying it was a little...
难以理解 hard to follow.
我说过那是有字慕的电影 I told you there'd be subtitles.
我知道 I know.
我只是不想 跟你第一次约会就戴眼镜 I just didn't want to wear my glasses on our first date.
噢 Oh.
摩妮卡 Monica?
我希望我吻你时 你叫的不是我妹妹的名字 It would help when I'm kissing if you didn't shout my sister's name.
- 甜心 我去看一下 - 噢 - Honey, I'm just checking. - Oh.
- 摩妮卡 - 摩妮卡 - Ahem. Monica? - Mon?
- 摩尼卡？ - 摩？ - Monica? - Mon?
摩妮卡 Monica?
什么事？ What?
- 怎么了？ - 对不起 - What? - I'm sorry.
对不起 但你伸手摸我屁股时… I'm sorry. It's just, when you moved your hands down to my butt...
我只想到 "罗斯在摸我的屁股 " it was like, "Whoa, Ross' hands are on my butt!"
抱歉 Sorry.
那很好笑 为什么？ And that's funny why?
不是好笑 Well, it's not. Uh...
抱歉 我想我很紧张 I mean, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just nervous.
毕竟我面对的人是你 I mean, it's you.
- 我们在一起了 - 嗯 - You know, it's us. - Mm.
我们越过那条线 这真的很重要 I mean, we're crossing that line. It's sort of a big thing.
我知道这很重要 我只是不知道它很好笑 Well, I know it's big. I just didn't know it was ha-ha big.
好吧 Okay.
好 我没有摸你屁股 Okay, my hands were nowhere near your butt.
我知道 I know, I know, I know!
我只是在想 你刚刚摸了我的屁股 I was thinking about when they were there the last time.
对不起 好吧 听着 我保证 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, look! Whoa, I promise.
我准备好了 我不会再笑 把你的手放回去 I'm good. I won't laugh anymore. Put your hands back there.
不 你看 现在我没办法了 因为 No, see, now I can't, because, uh...
我会很清楚的意识到 I'm feeling too self-conscious.
- 摸一边就好 - 不了 - Just one cheek. - No. Ha.
感觉没了 The moment's gone.
- 我可以背对你 让你摸 - 那还真是浪漫 - I'll back up into your hands. - That's romantic.
- 摸一下 - 不要 - Touch it. - No.
- 来吧 捏一下 - 不要 - Oh, come on, squeeze it. - No!
- 揉一下 - 不要 - Rub it? - No.
快点 快抓我的屁股 Oh, come on! Would you just grab my ass?
看 车子起火了 Wow, look at that. The car is on fire...
但上面昂贵的烤漆… yet somehow its expensive paint job...
在奇迹蜡的保护下完好无缺 is protected by the Miracle Wax.
你的脸上黏了起司条 You've got a Cheeto on your face, man.
谢了 Thanks.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
啊 Ah.
你来这里干嘛？你不是要跟瑞秋出去吗？ Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
那是14小时前的事 That was 14 hours ago.
- 结果如何？ - 嗯… - So how'd it go? - Well...
你们跟女生亲热时… Have you ever been, you know, fooling around with a girl...
对方会笑个不停吗？ and, uh, she started laughing?
会 但那是1982年… Yeah, but, uh, it was 1982...
我的瀑布发型对着她的下巴搔痒 and my Flock of Seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.
- 她对着你猛笑？ - 对 - She laughed at you? - Yeah.
我从九年级开始 一直在等待这一刻 I've been wanting this since ninth grade typing.
我只是希望很完美 You know, I just want it to be perfect...
一切顺利 还有… and right and...
为什么雷射无法切穿烤漆？ Why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
- 那是奇迹蜡 - 真的是个奇迹 - It's the Miracle Wax! - It certainly is a miracle.
- 大家好 - 嘿 - Hi, you guys. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
听着 我一直在想… Listen, I was, um, thinking about...
听着 你们能大声一点吗？ Listen, can you guys speak up?
你们那么小声 真的很难听清楚 It's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
好吧 听我说 Okay, listen.
昨晚的事我很抱歉 我真的想弥补 I'm sorry about last night. I really want to make it up to you.
你不需要弥补 你打算怎么做？ No. You know, there's no need to make it up... How?
我想来顿浪漫晚餐 Well, I was thinking maybe a, um... Ahem, a romantic dinner...
有烛光跟酒 with, um, candles and wine.
或许我们可以回我房间 And then, uh, ahem, maybe going back to my place...
吃甜点 for, um, dessert.
唔 Hmm.
那听起来… That sounds...
很完美？ perfect? Heh.
- 这是怎么一回事？ - 你能帮我们拿啤酒来吗？ - What's this? - Would you get us a couple of beers?
现在我会看着你的眼睛 I'm going to look into your eyes now.
真的吗？ Really?
对 那是我的工作 Yeah, that's my job.
好 看上面 All right. Look up.
看下面 Look down.
张开眼睛 看下面 Now, open your eyes and look down.
对了 That's right.
看着光 Look into the light.
看着我 Now look at me.
好的 Okay.
你的眼睛看起来不错 非常健康 Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
很好 感觉不错 Good. They feel good.
它们都还在 In my head.
好… Um, so...
- 很高兴能见到你 - 我也很高兴 - It was great to see you. - You too.
我也是 You too.
好吧 Okay, um...
再见 Goodbye. Ha, ha.
- 眼药水 - 什么？ - Drops! - What?
眼药水 拿去 免费的 Drops. Here, they're free.
谢谢 那么… Thanks. Uh, so...
我想我该走了 I guess I better be going.
好吧 后会有期 Oh, okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
- 谢谢 - 噢 - Thanks again. - Oh.
噢 Oh.
我们得让你们两个懒鬼站起来 We have to get you lazy boys out of these chairs.
- 喂喂喂 - 喂喂喂 - Hey, whoa, hey, whoa. - Oh, oh.
你们该到外面去接触三维的人 You should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
不 家里很好 No. Inside good.
外面太逊了 Outside bad.
你们太可悲了 You guys are so pathetic.
《仙纳杜》 Oh, Xanadu!
噢 Oh!
她变成我们的一员了 She's one of us now.
- 大家好 - 嘿 - Hi, you guys. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我们只是想顺便过来说晚安 We just wanted to stop by and, uh, say good night.
晚安 Good night.
他们甚至没转头 They won't even turn their heads.
好 各位 我要脱掉上衣了 All right, you guys. I'm taking off my shirt.
她在说谎 No, she's lying.
别再把食物送到我家了 Stop sending food to our apartment!
你为什么打扮得这么漂亮？ Why are you dressed up?
不只你们有约会 You're not the only one who has a date.
- 什么？你有约会？跟谁？ - 你不认识 - What? You have a date? Who with? - No one.
- 少来了 他叫什么名字？ - 你不认识 - Come on, what's his name? - Nothing.
少来了 告诉我 Come on, tell me.
好吧 但我真的很期待这次约会 All right, but I'm very excited about this, okay?
你得答应 不能拿出哥哥那一套来教训我 So promise you won't get big-brothery and judgmental.
我答应 什么？ I promise. What?
- 他是理查·柏克 - 理查·柏克是谁？ - It's Richard Burke. - Who's Richard Burke?
是柏克医生？ Is that Dr...? Dr. Burke?
你跟柏克医生约会 为什么？为什么？为什么… You have a date with Dr. Burke? Why? Why? Why...
我该觉得困扰？ should that bother me?
我喜欢他 他像是… I love that man. He's like, uh...
爸爸的亲兄弟 a brother to Dad.
我得告诉你 Well, for your information...
他是我见过最聪明 最优雅跟性感的男人 he is the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest man I've ever been with.
柏克医生很性感？ Dr. Burke is sexy?
天啊 Oh, God!
当然罗 Absolutely!
该死 Damn!
又是博物馆 我能… It's the museum again. Can I...? Oh.
- 柏克医生吻过我一次 - 什么时候？ - You know, Dr. Burke kissed me once. - When?
我7岁时 骑脚踏车在他家门口跌倒 When I was, um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house...
为了安抚我别再哭 他亲了我这里一下 and to stop me from crying, he kissed me right here.
- 你真是幸运 - 对啊 - Oh, you are so lucky! - I know. Ha-ha-ha.
南方古猿不该放在那个展示区 Australopithecus isn't supposed to be in that display.
不 不 No, no.
不 直立猿人可以直立 南方古猿无法完全立起来 No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.
或许是因为他很紧张 Well, maybe he was nervous.
你看 我不敢相信 Oh, look! I can't believe this!
直立猿人还不会使用工具 他们还把他跟陶壶放在一起？ Homo habilis can't use tools yet, and they've got him with clay pots?
他们何不给他微波炉呢？ Why don't they just give him a microwave? Heh.
抱歉耽误了这么久 I'm sorry this is taking so long.
这比我预期中还花时间 我们还是可以去吃晚餐 You know, I... It's longer than I expected. We will have dinner.
- 没关系的 - 卡尔 - That's okay. It's fine. - Karl!
天啊 Oh, God.
- 那是蜜雪儿？ - 对 - Wow! Is that Michelle? - Yep.
高中毕业后我就没跟她见过面 I've not seen her since high-school graduation.
天啊 那晚她真的喝… Oh, my God, that night she got so dru...
非常激动 Emotional.
- 她又要生了 - 嗯 - You know, she's having another baby. - Mm.
- 我以为她刚刚才生完孩子 - 不 亨利快满两岁了 - I thought she just had one. - No, no. Henry's almost 2.
他会说话跟到处乱跑 看吧 And he's talking and everything. Here.
啊 Aw.
有天他跟我说 他喜欢我胜过喜欢他爷爷 The other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa.
老实说他爷爷是个酒鬼 但是… In all fairness, his other grandpa's a drunk, but still...
你当外公了 Whoa. You're a grandpa.
对 Yeah.
我们疯了吗？ Are we nuts here?
不知道 或许吧 I don't know. Maybe.
我是说 我和一个我曾经在他的泳池里尿尿的男人约会 I mean, I'm dating a man whose pool I once peed in.
我不需要知道那么多 I didn't need to know that.
我想 21岁是很大的差距 I guess 21 years is a lot.
我是说 我比你老了整整一个允许饮酒的年龄 I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
对啊 Yeah.
那么… So...
- 或许我们该… - 对 - So maybe we should just... - Yeah.
对 Yeah.
或许吧 Maybe...
哇 Wow.
这样感觉很糟 This really sucks.
对 一点都没错 Yeah, it sure does.
啊 Ah.
我们不必现在做决定吧？ Uh, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we?
不 真的不急 No, there's no rush or anything.
- 披萨送来了 - 我要杀了那些家伙 - Pizza delivery! - Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys!
- 瑞秋？ - 喔 - Rach? - Oh.
- 我都弄好了 - 嗯 - I'm done. Ah. - Ahem.
对 你知道吗？索端汀诺也关门了 Yeah, well, you know what? So is, uh, Sorentino's.
抱歉 我们… 我们找别的地方吃饭吧？ I'm sorry. Let's, uh... Why don't we find someplace else?
已经很晚 餐厅全都打烊了 我们可以改天再一起吃饭 It's late. Everything will be closed. We'll do it another night.
不 我们不必那样 No, no, we won't.
是吗？ We won't?
跟我来 Come on.
好 那已经死了吧？ Okay, that's dead, right?
- 这是怎么一回事？我们要做什么？ - 嘘 - What is this? What are we doing? - Shh.
- 你要蔓越莓加苹果或葡萄？ - 葡萄 - Do you want Cran-Apple or Cran-Grape? - Grape.
好… Okay, now...
请坐 sit.
好吧 Okay.
天啊 Oh, my God!
数十亿年前 地球只是… Billions ofyears ago, Earth was...
抱歉 Sorry.
我们在看什么？ Ah. So, what are we looking at?
你看到那个大星云 旁边的小星云了吗？ Well, uh, you see that little cluster of stars next to the big one?
那是大熊座 That is Ursa Major.
- 真的吗？ - 不知道 有可能 - Really? - No idea. It could be. Could be.
听着 很抱歉今晚我必须工作 Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
没关系 Oh, that's okay.
- 你值得我等待 - 喔 - You were worth the wait. - Oh.
我不只是指今晚 And I don't just mean tonight.
∮ I never dreamed That I'd meet somebody like you ∮
哇 Whoa.
你没有笑 You're not laughing.
这次一点都不好笑 This time it's not so funny.
∮ No, I don't want to fall in love ∮
∮ This love is only gonna break your heart ∮
- 啊 - 噢 - Aah! - Oh!
好 先把领带解开 Okay, loosen the knot. Loosen the knot.
抱歉 Sorry, sorry.
∮ What a wicked game you play ∮
天啊 Aah! Oh, God! Oh.
甜心 Honey?
没关系的 Oh, that's okay.
什么？ What?
你只是压到果汁盒了 Oh, no. You just rolled over the juice box.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God!
∮ No, I don't want to fall in love ∮
∮ This love is only gonna break your heart ∮
嘿 Hey.
早 Hey, you.
真不敢相信我会在你身边醒过来 I can't believe I'm waking up next to you.
是啊 真的很不可… I know. It is pretty unbel...
- 什么？ - 还有别人在 - What? - We're not alone.
- 那是火灾警报吗？ - 对 - Is that the fire alarm? - Yeah.
地板是冷的 我们还有时间 Oh, it's not warm yet. We still have time.
- 酷啊 - 对 酷啊 - Cool. - Yeah, yeah. Cool!