拿去吧 菲比 Here you go, Pheebs.
谁要吃我的特殊自制布朗尼蛋糕 Who wants one of my special home-baked brownies?
我要吃一块 I'll have one.
- 没关系 - 我不吃了 - That's okay. - I'm not having one.
不 我是牙齿痛 No, no. It's just my tooth.
- 好吧 - 我要吃一块 - All right. - I'll have one.
你需要牙医吗 我的牙医很不错 So you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
谢谢 我的牙医也很不错 但我没办法去看他 Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him.
看吧 那就是隐形牙医的问题 See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.
为什么你不能去看他 Why can't you go to him?
因为每次我去看牙医 都会有人死掉 Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
那真的很奇怪 因为每次我去看牙医 That's so weird. Every time I go to the dentist...
我都会看助理的胸部 ...I look down the hygienist's blouse.
菲比 你说… Phoebe, what, um?
什么 What?
首先是我的玛丽阿姨 First, it was my Aunt Mary.
然后是我的邮差约翰 And then there was, um, John, my mailman.
我的牛仔朋友艾比诺•巴伯 And then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.
这些人真的死了 Ahem. And all these people actually died?
对 我去看牙医的时候 Yes. While I was in the chair.
所以我很保护我的牙齿 这跟口腔卫生无关 That's why I take care of my teeth. It's not about oral hygiene.
我使用牙线是为了救人一命 I floss to save lives.
少来了 你没有害死任何人 Come on, you didn't kill anybody.
这些人只是刚好 在你去看牙医时死掉了 These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist.
那是个巧合 It's just a coincidence.
去跟他们说吧 不行 他们死了 Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 # # When the rain starts to pour #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 支持一如往昔 # # Like I've been there before #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
（中央咖啡厅）
谢谢你 阿甘 Thanks, Gunther.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
能给我一张纸巾吗 Um, can I get a napkin too?
你已经什么都有了 Oh, like you don't already have everything.
你痛得要命 你该去看牙医 快去吧 You're in pain. Would you just go to the dentist? Just go.
好吧 如果你是我下一个受害者 Fine. But if you're my next victim...
别化身为厉鬼回来找我 把我吸进电视机里 ...don't come back as a poltergeist who sucks me into the TV set.
我保证绝对不会 I promise.
别以为你就能不来看我了 Although, don't feel like you can't visit.
钱德在吗 Hey, is Chandler here?
不 他不在 No. No, he's not.
大伙们 乔伊看到珍妮丝吻她的前夫 You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
什么 What?
你打算怎么办 你怎么跟钱德说 What are you gonna do? How are you gonna tell Chandler?
我正在想那一点 我认为最好的方法就是… I was thinking about that. I think the best way would be...
不要说 ...to not.
乔伊 你知道这件事就一定要告诉他 Joey, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
这会要了他的命 It'll kill him. It'll just kill him.
等我去看牙医后再说 或许我会先要了他的命 Wait till I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him.
丑八怪裸男躺在吊床上 那像是黏土肥油工厂 Ugly Naked Guy's using a hammock. It's like a Play-Doh fat factory.
我要去看牙医 听我说 I'm going to the dentist. So listen...
小心别跌倒了 ...just be on the lookout for anything that you could fall into...
或是别被东西砸到 ...or that can fall on you...
或是… ...or...
好吧 小心一点就对了 All right, just look out!
好吗 我只是想… Okay? And, um, I also just want to...
我只是想告诉大家… I just want to tell you all that, um...
我有个问题 我得去工作几小时 I have a problem. I have to go into work for a few hours.
有些小鬼搞乱了智人展示品 Some kids messed up the Homo sapien display.
他们做了什么 What did they do?
他们把招牌上的"智"涂掉了 They painted over the word "sapien," for one thing.
还把人偶重新排列 我真的不想说太多 Then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.
你要我帮你照顾小班吗 Do you want me to watch Ben for you?
对 我正想问你 谢谢 Yes, that's what I was gonna ask. Thank you.
等一下 我呢 Woah, wait, hello! Heh, what about me?
你 你想照顾小班 You. You want to watch Ben?
那真的太棒了 我正要问摩妮卡 That would be great! I just asked Monica...
因为我知道她的生活有多么空虚 ...because I know how empty her life is.
- 罗斯 我要问你一个科学问题 - 对 - Hey, Ross? I got a science question. - Yeah. Mm-hm.
如果智人真的是同性恋 If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens...
那是他们灭绝的原因吗 ...is that why they're extinct?
乔伊 智人就是人 Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
我不是在批评他们 Hey, I'm not judging.
看吧 小班 汤匙 Look, Benny! Spoon!
汤匙 Spoon!
来吧 好了 你知道吗 我想他很无聊 Come on. All right, you know what? I think he's bored.
你要玩飞机游戏吗 Here. You wanna play the airplane game?
你要玩给瑞秋看吗 来吧 You wanna show Rachel? Come here.
你要做些有趣的事吗 好吧 You wanna do something fun? Okay.
你好勇敢 没错 You're so brave. You're so brave! Yes, you are.
- 你好勇敢 - 你很不错 - You're so brave. - You're okay.
他没事的 把他放下来 He's fine. Let's just put him down.
过来 宝贝 你是个好孩子 Come here, babe. Yes, you're such a good boy.
你怎么能那么做 罗斯相信我 他会怎么说 How could you do that to him? Ross trusted me! What's he gonna say?
没事的 因为我们不会告诉他 Nothing, because we're not telling him.
- 是吗 - 没错 - We're not? - No.
- 好吧 我喜欢那样 - 好吧 - All right, I like that. - Okay.
没事了 对吧 So we're okay. We're okay, aren't we?
不 问题大了 他的头肿了起来 No, we're not okay. There's a bump.
- 他的头肿了起来 - 在哪里 - There's a bump. - What bump?
天啊 把它压回去 Oh, my God! Well, push it in! Push it in!
我没办法把它压回去 I can not push it in!
- 好吧 我们需要分散注意力 - 好的 - Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. - Okay.
- 没错 - 好的 - That's it. - Okay.
- 我知道了 - 好的 - I got it! - Okay.
- 罗斯一进门 - 对 - The second Ross walks in... - Yeah.
带他到你的房间 不论你要做什么 让他开心大叫 ...take him to your bedroom and do whatever you do that makes him go:
或是… Or...
我们可以帮他戴帽子 ...we could put a hat on his head.
帽子 没错 我们需要帽子 我们去哪里找顶小帽子 A hat! Yes! We need a hat! Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
我有雨天小熊 Oh, oh, oh! I'll get Rainy Day Bear!
它知道该怎么做 Because he'll know what to do?
天啊 你是个天才 Oh, my God. You're a genius!
天啊 帽子缝死了 Oh, God. It's kind of sewn on.
- 快给我 - 好吧 - Give it. Give it. - Okay.
今天就跟一场血战一样 Agh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today!
等一下 Hey, hold on a second. Hold on a second.
你觉得这条珍珠项链漂亮吗 Do you think these pearls are nice?
我比较喜欢登山自行车 I'd prefer a mountain bike.
珍妮丝的生日快到了 我要送她一样特别的礼物 Janice's birthday's coming. I wanna get her something special.
- 跟我一起进去 - 等一下 - Come in here with me. - Woah, woah, whoa, wait. Woah.
你要送她特别的礼物 送她花 You wanna get her something special? Get her flowers.
送她糖果 送她口香糖 女生喜欢口香糖 Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum.
那是个好点子 亲爱的珍妮丝 祝你生日吹泡泡快乐 That's a good idea. "Dear Janice: Have a Hubba-Bubba birthday."
我要送她认真一点的礼物 I'd like to get her something serious.
你要认真一点的礼物 Oh, you want something serious.
你知道你该怎么办吗 你该送她… You know what you should do? You should get her one of those, um...
灌肠剂 ...barium enemas.
那保证认真 Those are dead serious.
听着 我要进去了 千万别买礼物送我 Look, I'm gonna go in here. And you don't buy me anything, ever!
你不能送她珍珠项链 You can't! You can't. You can't buy her pearls.
你就是不能那么做 You just can't, you can't, you can't!
为什么不能 Why not?
天啊 好吧 Oh, God. Uh, okay.
事情是这样的 Here's the thing. Ahem.
事情是这样的 好吧 问题是… This is the thing. Okay, the thing is...
- 到底怎么了 - 好吧 - What is the thing? - Okay.
我在床垫大王卖场 I went down to the Mattress King's showroom...
看到珍妮丝吻她的前夫 ...and I saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
什么 What?
他们在他的办公室里 They were in his office.
她不会那么做 她跟我在一起 Well, she... She wouldn't do that. She's with me.
我跟你说真的 我看到了 I'm telling you, I saw it.
你看错了 好吗 Well, you're wrong. Okay? You're wrong.
我没看错 I'm not wrong.
我也希望我看错了 I wish I was.
我很遗憾 I'm sorry.
灌肠剂是个不错的点子吧 Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
整套穿上比较逼真 他不会注意到帽子的部分 It makes more sense as an ensemble. And it takes the focus off the hat.
你们还活着 Oh! You're alive! You're alive!
看吧 我保证过不会有人死掉 对吧 See? I promised you no one would die, didn't I?
走着瞧吧 我能借用你的电话 问一下我认识的所有人吗 We'll see about that. Can I use your phone to call everyone I know?
当然 我们没有钱 请便 Sure. We have no money. Go ahead.
你没事 好吧 再见 Hey, you're not dead! Okay, see you.
摩妮卡 Monica.
天啊 他会说我的名字 Oh, my God! He just said my name!
- 你听到了吗 - 对 - Did you hear that? - Yeah.
摩妮卡撞到了 Monica bang!
好吧 我听到了 Ahem. Okay, I heard that.
他说"摩妮卡撞到了" Did he just say, "Monica bang"?
天啊 他要告我的密 Oh, my God! He's gonna rat me out!
摩妮卡撞到了 Monica bang!
甜心 你不能再那么说 Sweetie, you need to stop saying that now.
那没什么大不了的 根本不值一提 It's no big deal. It's not even worth mentioning.
看吧 我们常那么做 You see? We all do it all the time.
看到了吗 看我的 See? Watch this.
小班 Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow.
摩妮卡撞到了 大家撞到了 Monica bang! Everybody bang!
班撞到了 Ben bang!
瑞秋撞到了 Rachel bang!
撞 瑞秋 撞 Bang, Rachel! Bang!
- 很好玩吧 - 看我的 - Oh, isn't it fun? - Look at that! Look at that!
我们都会那么做 We all do it!
- 好吧 我不再撞了 - 你没事吧 - Okay, I'm stopping now. - Are you okay?
对 如果不是撞床头板 真的不值得这么做 Oh, yeah. You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.
我的小宝贝还好吧 How's my Bing-a-ling?
我不知道 I don't know.
你来告诉我吧 You tell me.
你有事要跟我说吗 Anything you, uh, want to tell me?
因为如果你…你该… Because if you, uh... You should...
你会告诉我的 You would tell me.
你干嘛睁大了眼睛 Why are your eyes so wide?
你来告诉我吧 You tell me.
或许那是因为我跟我前女友胡来 Maybe it's because I was just fooling around with my ex.
不 是你跟前夫胡来 Oh, no. No, no, no. That was you!
天啊 Oh, my God!
- 好吧 - 你怎么知道 - All right! - How did you know?
乔伊跟我说的 他看到你们两个在接吻 Joey told me. He saw you two kissing.
在公园里 In the park?
不 他的办公室里 你们接吻过几次 No. In his office. How many kisses were there?
- 只有那两次 - 为什么 - Just those two! - Wh...? Why? Why?
为什么你们要接吻 你们不该接吻的 Why was there kissing? There should be no kissing!
对不起 甜心 我真的… Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'm so, so...
我真的很抱歉 我是… I'm so, so sorry. I just...
事实是我…我无法呼吸 What happened was I... I can't breathe.
你能帮我拿个袋子过来吗 Can you get me a bag or something? Aah.
拿去 Here. Here.
好了 There.
- 这是收据 - 我来处理 - It's the receipt. - I'll take it.
听着 我得知道 Look, I've got to know.
你要跟我分手吗 Are you finished with me?
你要跟他分手吗 Are you finished with him?
你还爱他 Do you still love him?
你还爱我 Do you still love me?
好吧 听着 All right, look...
我要真的答案 好吗 ...I'm gonna need an actual answer here, okay?
到底你要哪一个 So which is it?
他或我 Him or me?
我不知道 I don't know.
好吧 如果你还活着 你该接电话的 Okay, if you're alive, you answer your phone!
小班 我不会跟你爸说你在晚餐前吃冰淇淋 Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream before dinner...
只要你不跟他说我们撞到头的小意外 ...if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident.
第一 我想小班不了解贿赂的概念 Number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery.
第二 我… And number two, I...
什么 What?
你说"第二" You said "number two."
我还说了"第一" I also said "number one."
我知道 Ha-ha-ha, I know.
- 大家好 - 嗨 - Hey, everyone! - Hi!
我儿子还好吗 How's my little boy?
他很好 对吧 小班 He's perfect. Aren't you, Ben?
- 他再好不过了 - 你们做了什么 带他去赏鲸 - He's never been better. - What did you do, take him whaling?
摩妮卡 Monica.
天啊 他会叫你的名字 太棒了 做得好 小班 Oh, my God! He just said your name! That's great! Good job, Ben!
摩妮卡撞到了 Monica bang!
没错 Ha-ha-ha. That's right.
我会一副要爆炸的模样 That's what I'd sound like if I exploded.
诅咒被打破了 我打电话给我认识的所有人 Woo-hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know...
大家都活着 ...and everyone is alive!
什么 What?
丑八怪裸男一动都不动 Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
天啊 我又杀人了 Oh, my God, I killed another one!
诅咒越来越强 连那么胖的人都会死 The curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
或许他只是在睡午觉 Maybe he's just taking a nap.
我得说他从今天早上开始就一动都不动的 I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning.
或许我们该报警 We should call somebody.
跟他们说我们偷窥的裸男一动都不动 Tell them the naked guy we stare at isn't moving?
我们得知道他是不是还活着 We've got to find out if he's alive.
我们该怎么办那是不可能的 How are we gonna do that? There's no way.
有个办法 Well, there is one way.
他的窗户没关 我是说… His window's open. I say...
我们可以戳戳他 ...we poke him.
嘿 Hey!
我们吃中国菜时 You know how we, uh, save all those chopsticks...
不是会把筷子留下来吗 ...for no reason when we get Chinese food?
怎么了 Yeah?
现在能派上用场了 Well, now we got a reason.
什么 What?
我们要做非常长的戳人棒 Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.
好吧 All right.
怎么了 Hey, uh, what's the matter?
我跟珍妮丝谈过 I talked to Janice.
天啊 她要跟他复合吗 Oh, my God. Is she going back to him?
她不知道 She doesn't know.
她说她爱我们两个 Says she loves us both.
今天早上醒来时 我沉溺在爱河里 I woke up this morning, I was in love.
我很幸福 I was happy!
所以我去买了12包保险套 It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms.
现在我没办法退货 因为她把收据吞了下去 And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!
你打算怎么办 What are you, uh...? What are you gonna do?
我不知道 I don't know.
你会怎么做呢 You know? What would you do?
我会怎么做并不重要 Uh, it doesn't matter what I'd do.
来吧 快告诉我 Come on. Come on. Tell me.
好吧 你… All right, you, uh...
或许你不想听 可是… ...you probably won't want to hear this, but, uh...
换作是我 这是我的做法 我会… ...if it was me, and this is just me, I would, uh...
- 我会自己闪人 - 什么 - I would bow out. - What?
你在胡说什么 What are you talking about?
他们有个孩子 They have a kid together...
你知道吗 他们是… ...you know? They're like...
他们是一家人 They're, like, a family.
如果…我不知道 And if, I don't know...
如果他们有机会复合 ...if there's a chance they can make that work...
我不想变成破坏他们家庭的人 ...I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way.
你没事吧 You okay?
你… You, uh?
你要去戳裸男吗 You wanna come poke a nude guy?
他终于睡着了 Well, he's finally asleep.
他的头肿了起来 About that, uh, bump on his head...
你确定那是新伤口吗 Are you, uh, sure it's a new bump?
我没有恶意 但我觉得小班是头鼓鼓的小孩 No offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.
他撞到头不是大事 小孩子常撞到头 It's okay if he bumps his head. Kids bump their heads all the time.
这是你第一次当褓姆 你尽力了 It was your first time babysitting. You did your best.
- 我尽力了 - 我知道 - I did! - I know.
你得无时无刻看着他 You just have to watch them all the time.
我有啊 我有看着他 I did! I watched! I watched!
我看到摩妮卡撞到他的头 I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
那是摩妮卡撞的 Monica did it?
- 摩妮卡 - 什么 - Monica? Um... - Yeah.
今天你注意到有点小班怪怪的吗 Did you notice anything weird about Ben today?
没有啊 怎么了 No, why?
我跟他玩 我们在唱字母歌 I was just playing with him, and we were doing the "Alphabet Song"...
那是他的拿手歌曲 但他忘了唱E跟F ...which he's good at. But he left out "E" and "F."
就像是…我不知道 他完全忘得精光 It's like they just, uh, I don't know, fell out of his head.
真的吗 Really?
还有他走路的样子 Oh, and also, he's walking...
有点怪怪的 ...kind of funny.
他的左脚比右脚迈步快 It's like his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg.
对 他在房里会这么做 Yeah, he's in there, just sort of, you know...
天啊 我把你儿子弄坏了 Oh, my God! I wrecked your baby!
我希望你下地狱后还会觉得很好笑 I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.
你这个混蛋 You jerk!
- 你知道我爱那个孩子 - 摩妮卡撞到了 - You know I love that kid! - Monica bang! Monica bang!
我去拿帽子 I'll get the hat.
珍妮丝 我有事要跟你说 I have something to tell you.
我要你听我说完 And I want you to let me get through it...
因为… ...because...
这不是件容易启齿的事 ...it's not gonna be easy.
好的 Okay.
我想你该跟盖瑞复合 I think you should go back with Gary.
我不想拆散你们一家人 I don't want to be the guy that breaks up a family.
我爸妈因为那个男人分手 You know, when my parents split up, it was because of that guy.
每次见到他 我都会想 Whenever I'd see him, I'd always think:
就是你害的 你让他们无法在一起 "You're the reason. You are why they're not together."
我恨那个男人 And I hated that guy.
不论他人多好 他让我爸多么开心 And it didn't matter how nice he was or how happy he made my dad.
没错 Yeah, wow.
这么做才是对的 It's the right thing to do.
你说的对 You're right.
天啊 在我跟你道别前 Oh, God. But before I can say goodbye...
我有件事得跟你说 ...there's something I really need you to know.
我对你的感觉 The way I feel about you...
我终于能体会 ...it's like I finally understand...
莱诺•李奇唱的那首歌 ...what Lionel Richie's been singing about.
你知道吗 我们拥有的一切 You know? I mean, what we have...
像是电影里的爱情故事 ...it's like movie love.
你是我的灵魂伴侣 You're my soul mate.
我不敢相信我们无法共度一生 I can't believe we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives together.
那就别离开我 Then don't leave me.
什么 What?
忘了我说过的话 我在胡说八道 挑我吧 Forget what I said! I was babbling! Pick me!
不 你说的对 我得再给我的婚姻一次机会 No, you were right! I gotta give my marriage another chance.
不 你不能那么做 Pssh! No, you don't!
不 我是说 你得给你的离婚手续一次机会 No, I say you have to give your divorce another chance!
对不起 I'm sorry.
别走 Oh, don't go.
不 我非走不可 No, I gotta go.
不 No. No. No, no.
甜心 Honey. Honey. Ha, ha.
- 大家都在看 - 我不在乎 - People are looking. - I don't care.
我不在乎 I don't care!
对 好吧 我… Yeah, um, okay. I'm...
我要走了 I'm leaving now.
你走不了 我把你的鞋子拿走了 You can't leave! I have your shoe!
再见 钱德宾 Goodbye, Chandler Bing.
瑞秋也有一双紫红色的 Rachel has those in burgundy.
记得 像这样又粗又长的东西操作起来会非常困难 Remember, something this big and long will be very difficult to maneuver.
还好在那方面我的经验丰富 Fortunately, I have experience in that area.
我们能专心一点吗 这跟裸男的死活有关 Can we please focus here? A naked man's life hangs in the balance.
我赌他死了 I'm telling you, he's dead.
我们会发现插了一根棍子的死胖子 What we're about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick!
好了 各位先生女士 开始戳 All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke.
稳住 Steady.
好的 高一点 Okay, a little higher.
注意角度 Careful of the angle.
好的 已经到窗边了 Okay, okay. We're approaching the window.
穿过去 Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
他还活着 He's alive! He's alive!
对 我们还在戳他 And yet we're still poking him.
好吧 收工了 Okay, retract the device! Retract the device!
他似乎不太开心 He does not look happy.
他露出他戳人的东西了 Now he's showing us his poking device.
那是戳不到这里来的 兄弟 Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy! Ha.
# 我紧拥你在怀中 # # I'll hold you close in my arms #
# 无法抵挡你的魅力 # # I can't resist your charms #
# 爱情 # # And love #
# 爱情 # # Love #
# 为你 我会变成一个傻瓜 # # I'll be a fool for you #
# 是的 我确定 # # I'm sure #
# 但你知道我不会介意 # # You know I don't mind #
# 噢 你知道我不会介意# # Oh, you know I don't mind #
# 没错 # # Yes #
# 对我而言你就是全世界 # # You mean the world to me #
# - 我知道 - 我知道 # # - Oh, I know - I know #
# - 我找到 - 我找到 # # - I've found - I've found #
# 在你身上 # # In you #
# 我找到了无尽的爱 # # My endless love #
# 爱情 # # Love #
# - 爱情 - 爱情 # # - Lo... Love - Love #