什么事那么好笑 What's so funny?
没事 我在练习演戏 我只是在练习假笑 Oh, nothing. It's an acting exercise. I'm practicing my fake laugh.
怎么了 什么事那么好笑 What? What's so funny?
喔 不… Oh, no, no.
不 这里禁烟 No, no. There's none of that in here.
少来了 至少让我抽完最后一根 Oh, come on. At least let me finish this last one.
好吧 除非你让我抽一口 Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
好吧 Okay.
该死 我又屈服在自己的欲望下 Oh, dark mother, once again I suckle at your smoky teat.
那根就给你抽了 Why don't you hold on to that one.
那是最不好玩的游戏 That's, like, the least fun game ever.
我厌倦了你的抽烟习惯 所以我带了一样东西 I'm sick of your smoking, so I brought something...
可以帮助你戒烟 ...that is going to help you quit.
这个戒烟贴片没有用 That patch is no good.
这是催眠录音带 It's a hypnosis tape.
我的女同事听了两星期 再也没抽过烟 A woman at work used it for two weeks and hasn't smoked since.
你有什么问题 What's your problem?
没事 我只是觉得催眠完全是在胡扯 Nothing. It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
罗斯 我看过你在大西洋城被催眠 I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
那家伙没有催眠我 好吗 That guy did not hypnotize me, okay?
原来你常常脱掉裤子表演擦屁股 You always pull your pants down and play "Wipe Out" on your butt.
别提催眠了 Forget hypnosis.
想戒烟就得在石南田里裸舞 The way to quit smoking is to dance naked in a field of heather...
跟六名健康年轻男子 一起畅快地流汗 ...and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy young men.
或是我爸打电话到"周四夜" Or what my father calls "Thursday night."
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 # # When the rain starts to pour #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 支持一如往昔 # # Like I've been there before #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
- 拿去吧 - 我不要加肉桂 - Here you go. - I didn't want cinnamon on this.
抱歉 Sorry.
- 嗨… - 天啊 法兰克 - Hi. Hi. - Oh, my God! Frank!
你好吗 Ha, ha. Hi. How are you?
你来这里做什么 What are you doing here?
我该打电话给你的 但我把你的电话号码搞丢了 I would've called, but I lost your number.
我妈把我锁在屋外 所以我没办法去找电话号码 And then, uh, my mom locked me out of the house, so I couldn't find it.
我试着找公用电话 但话筒被切断了 And, uh, then I tried to find a pay phone, and the receiver was cut off.
发生了什么事 What happened?
有人破坏公物 Uh, oh. Vandalism.
还有 就是你跟你妈怎么了 But also, what happened between you and your mom?
我们大吵一架 因为她说我太幼雅 不该结婚 We got in a fight. She said that I was too immature to get married.
- 你要结婚了 - 对 - You're getting married? - Oh, yeah.
我弟弟要结婚了 My little brother's getting married! Ha, ha.
我就知道你会很开心 你要跟她见面吗 I knew you'd be so cool about this. Uh, hey, do you wanna meet her?
我要吗 Do I?
你要吗 Do you?
我当然要 Yeah, I do.
酷啊 好吧 她正在停车 Cool, all right. She's just parking the truck.
我去叫我未婚妻进来 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go get my, uh, fiancee, man!
我赌他是我们之中第一个结婚的人 I'd have bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married.
那真的很棒吧 Isn't it fantastic?
对 但你不觉得他还太小 不该结婚吗 Yeah, but don't you think he's a little young to get married?
- 什么他18岁了 - 他在自己的单身派对上喝酒 - What? He's 18. - It'll be illegal for him to drink...
是犯法的 ...at his own bachelor party.
对 也不能召妓 Yeah, or to get a hooker.
那本来就是犯法的 乔伊 Always illegal, Joe.
嘿 Hey! Hey!
她是我的未婚妻 This is, uh, my fiancee...
奈特老师 ...Mrs. Knight.
- 她是我姊姊 - 这真的很有趣 - That's my sister. - You know, it's funny.
法兰克常跟我提起你 但你跟我想像中完全不一样 Frank told me so much about you, but you're not how I pictured you at all.
对 我非常讶异 Yeah, I'm a big surprise.
请坐 来吧 坐下 Here you go. Here, grab a seat.
你们是怎么认识的 So how did you guys meet?
我在奈特老师的… Well, um, I was in Mrs. Knight's...
我是说爱丽丝 抱歉 我常那么做 I mean, Alice. Sorry. I always do that. Ha, ha.
我上她的家政课 I was in her Home Ec class.
他是我最好的学生 He was my best student.
她是我最好的老师 She was my best teacher.
如果这无法让孩子们待在学校里 还有什么办法呢 If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?
所以你们要结婚了 And so now you guys are gonna be married?
对 Yeah. Ha, ha.
我们谈到要同居 We talked about just living together, but, um...
但我们想快点生小孩 ...we wanna have kids right away.
天啊 Oh, my God!
太棒了 Great!
哇 生小孩 法兰克 你确定你准备好了吗 Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that?
那会有多难呢 How hard can it be?
我是说宝宝 谁不想要宝宝 对吧 You know, I mean, you know, babies. Who doesn't want babies? Right?
而且我一直没有父亲陪我 And besides, I never had a dad around.
现在我有个父亲了 那就是我 And now I always will, because it'll be me.
我们知道我们的年龄有点差距 Really, we do realize that there's an age difference between us.
太好了 因为你一副你不知道的样子 Good. Because you were acting like you didn't.
但在爱情的世界里 年龄又有什么关系呢 But when it comes to love, what does age matter?
你很快就睡着了 You are falling fast asleep.
睡得很熟 Deeper, deeper, deeper.
现在你完全睡着了 You are now completely asleep.
你不需要抽烟 You don't need to smoke.
香烟无法控制你 Cigarettes don't control you.
你是坚强有自信的女人 You are a strong, confident woman...
完全不需要抽烟 ...who does not need to smoke.
坚强有自信的女人 A strong, confident woman.
（月光餐馆）
你知道吗 我发现去年我只跟理查及胡立欧约过会 You know what? I realized in the last year I've only gone out with Richard and Julio.
你得帮帮我 帮我介绍男人 让我重享爱情的滋味 You gotta help me out. Set me up. Get me back in the game.
那应该不是问题 我在时尚界工作 常遇见单身异性恋男人 Shouldn't be a problem. I work in fashion, and all I meet are eligible straight men.
还需要什么服务吗 Can I get you something else?
我要起司蛋糕 还有你能跟我约会 Cheesecake and a date, if you're giving them out.
我们不是谈过那一点吗 Heh. Haven't we covered that topic?
- 你刚刚才跟她说… - 你想跟我约会 - You just said to her... - You wanna go out with me...
因为我的假发 大胸部 我还会帮你上菜 ...because of my wig, the big boobs, and I serve you food.
如果那是真的 我该跟我的萝丝阿姨约会 If that were true, I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth.
我们出去过两次 那真的很怪 And the two times we went out, it was plain awkward.
你觉得她该跟我去约会 对吧 You think she should go out with me, don't you?
我是说… Well, I mean...
你确定你要跟她约会吗 ...are you sure you wanna go out with her?
早上不会太好看 你知道我的意思吗 That ain't a pretty picture in the morning, know what I mean?
假发都乱了 胸部挂在床头柜上 That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.
真的 好好考虑一下 Really. Think about it.
我会的 Oh, I will. Ha-ha-ha.
不 我知道这是法兰克的人生 No, I know. I know that this is Frank's life.
你们知道吗 You know?
我不想批评别人 但这太变态了 也是不对的 I don't wanna be judgmental, but it's sick. It's sick and wrong!
什么因为年龄的关系吗 What, is it the age thing?
不 我能接受年龄差距 No, I'm fine with the age thing...
直到她把舌头伸进我弟弟的喉咙里 ...until it sticks its tongue down my brother's throat.
菲比 他似乎很喜欢 Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
你们觉得他会喜欢忙着换尿布吗 You think he'll enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in diapers...
因为他们必须立刻生孩子 ...of all the babies they have to have right away?
这对法兰克及宝宝都不公平 This is not fair to Frank, and it's not fair to the babies.
你知道吗 这不是很棒的家政教育 You know what? It's not good home economics.
你跟他谈过你的感觉吗 Have you told him how you feel?
是的 但我没有直说 Yes. Not out loud.
菲比 如果你不跟他说 很快地他就会结婚 而你就会自责 If you don't tell him, soon he'll be married, then you'll hate yourself.
对 如果我跟他说 他就会恨我 Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself.
看看他跟他妈 我说不出口 Look at him and his mom. I can't.
但是你们可以跟他谈 你们得说服他放弃这个念头 But you guys can. You talk him out of it.
不… No, no, no, no, no, no.
别这样 你们两个 Come on, you guys.
你们没什么好损失的 我会失去一切 You have nothing to lose. I have everything to lose.
你们要我失去一切吗 Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?
- 不要 - 不要 - No. - No.
好吧 我得去找法兰克 Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank.
我们走在街上 我转头跟你说 We're walking down the street, and I turn to you and say:
"我们去泡脱衣酒吧" 还记得吗 "Let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes." Remember?
然后你说"我们还是去你家吧" And then, heh, you say, "Let's just hang out at your place."
那真的很聪明 大傻瓜 Well, that was a nice move, dumb-ass.
我想你该跟这家伙约会 I think you should go out with this guy.
不 他跟我完全不配 No, he doesn't do anything for me.
上星期六晚上 "德州骑警"演到哪里了 Last Saturday night, what happened on Walker, Texas Ranger?
德州骑警在找一整车的孩子 Well, um, Walker was looking for this big busload of kids. Heh.
好吧 我了解你的意思 All right, I get your point.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
一年前我忘了手提包的密码 I forgot the combination to this about a year ago.
我只是抬着装样子 I just carry it around.
- 你有护唇膏吗 - 当然有 - You got any Chap Stick? - Uh, yeah.
录音带有用吗 Hey, how are those tapes working out?
非常有用 今天我还没有抽烟 Pretty good. Good. I haven't smoked yet today.
我觉得非常棒 自信满满 那件上衣好漂亮 I feel great and confident. That is a stunning blouse.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 拿去吧 - 谢谢 - Here you go. - Thanks.
好吧 摩妮卡 给彼特一个机会 他非常风趣 似乎是个好男人 Okay, Mon. Let's give Pete a chance. He was funny. He seems really nice.
开支票的事真的很可爱 That check thing was adorable.
什么支票 What check thing?
那是开玩笑的 这个客人暗恋我 他给我两万块小费 As a joke, this customer who has a crush on me, gave me a $20,000 tip.
他的电话号码在支票上 他那么做是要我打电话给他 His number's on the check. He did it so I'd call.
彼特•贝克 彼特… Pete Becker. Pete...
是他吗 Is this him?
那是柯林顿总统 That's Bill Clinton.
他在拥抱谁 Who's he hugging?
天啊 那是彼特 为什么总统要拥抱彼特 Oh, my God. That's Pete. Why is Bill hugging Pete?
那家伙发明了摩斯865 This guy invented Moss 865.
全世界所有办公室都在使用那套程式 Every office in the world uses that program.
- 我们就有用 - 没错 - We use it! - There you go!
天啊 摩妮卡要跟百万富翁约会 Oh, my God. Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire.
- 不 我不要跟他约会 - 天啊 - No, I'm not gonna go out with him. - Oh, my God.
我不敢相信这是两万块支票 太令人兴奋了 I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check. This is so exciting.
那是一种侮辱 Or incredibly offensive.
当然 你说的对 Yeah, sure. That too.
怎样 What?
我们只是说你不需要那么急 All we're saying is, don't rush into anything.
没错 好好想一想 你18岁 她是44岁 Come on, think about it. You're 18, okay? She's 44.
你36岁时 她会是88岁 When you're 36, she's gonna be 88.
你以为我不知道吗 You don't think I know that?
听着 重点是 Look, the point is...
很多女人还没有跟你上过床 ...there's a lot of women you haven't had sex with yet.
对 他说的对 你的时代来了 你懂吗 Yeah, he's right. He's right. This is your time, you know?
你年轻古怪 女人喜欢那样的男人 You're young. You're weird. Chicks dig that.
但跟你真正关心的人上床 性爱会更加美满吧 But isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really care about?
对 在诗里的确是的 Yeah, in a poem, maybe.
不 他说的对 以前我跟瑞秋就是那样 No, the man's right. That's what I had with Rachel.
现在不一样了 You don't have it anymore?
不 我跟别人上床 No, I, uh... I slept with someone else.
等一下 为什么那样让生活变得更美好 So wait. So how did that make things better?
的确是没有 It didn't.
以前你跟瑞秋的关系就是现在我跟爱丽丝的关系 What you used to have with Rachel is what I got with Alice.
那是什么样的关系 Now what is that like?
那真的很酷 It's so cool, man.
因为跟她在一起比没有她的日子好多了 It's because being with her is so much better than not being with her.
没错 Yeah. Yeah.
- 为什么我不能那么做 - 我有过机会 却搞砸了 - Why can't I find that? - I had it and I blew it.
- 我也要 - 你可以那么做 - Well, I want it! - You can have it.
或许我办不到 或许我有问题 Maybe I can't. Maybe there's something wrong with me.
不 真爱的确存在 我找到了 也得到了 No, it's out there, man. I've seen it! I got it!
- 那你得好好把握 - 好的 - Then you hold on to it! - All right, man!
太棒了 恭喜 你这个幸运的混蛋 All right! Congratulations, you lucky bastard!
你是法兰克的伴郎 You're Frank's best man?
我没办法拒绝 他们的爱是那么纯洁 I couldn't help it. Their love is so pure.
你呢 What about you, huh?
我负责拿婚戒 I'm the ring bearer.
爱丽丝 谢谢 Hi! Oh, Alice, hi. Thanks.
我很高兴你能赶过来 我有紧急家政状况 I'm so glad you could come. I've got a real, um, Home Ec emergency.
- 天啊 谁死在这上面了 - 对 我知道 - Oh, my God. Who died on this? - Yeah, I know.
这是真正的芥末酱灾难 It's a real "mustard-tastrophe."
- 你能帮帮我吗 - 没问题 - Can you help me? - Absolutely.
好吧 首先我们需要苏打水跟盐 Okay, first, we'll start with a little club soda and salt.
- 如果还不行的话… - 你知道吗算了 它已经毁了 - Then if that doesn't work... - You know what? Forget it. It's ruined.
不 千万别那么做 洗不掉的话就把它剪掉 Oh, no, never say that. If you can't get it out, cut around the stain...
缝上蕾丝就能做出漂亮抱枕 ...add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
或是你别跟我弟弟法兰克结婚 Or instead, maybe you could just not marry my brother, Frank?
可以小一点吗 让它从针头穿过去 Can we make it smaller? Make it fit on the head of a pin?
我喜欢做出能穿过针头的东西 I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
- 知道了 - 好吧 - Got it, yeah. - Yeah, okay.
摩妮卡•盖勒来了 You have Monica Geller here.
好的 请她进来 Uh, absolutely. Yeah, send her in.
嗨 Hi.
这是什么东西 What the hell is this?
等一下 明天早上再谈 Hang on for a sec. I'll talk to you in the morning?
没问题 You got it.
- 对不起 什么 - 这到底是什么意思 - I'm sorry. What? - What's this supposed to mean?
我从来都搞不清楚该付多少小费 Well, you know, I never know how much to tip.
小费是消费税的两倍 不是罗马尼亚国税的两倍 You double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania.
这到底是怎么一回事 你想收买我吗 I mean, what's the deal? Are you trying to buy me?
你都用这招要女人跟你约会 Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
我还在 Uh, I'm still here.
你误会了 如果我不给你小费 You're taking this wrong. If I didn't leave you that tip...
你不会来 我们不会吵架 ...you wouldn't have come, we wouldn't have this argument...
我们之间就不会有火花 ...and there wouldn't be this, uh, heat between us.
- 什么 - 少来了 - What? - Come on.
你得承认我们的关系迈向新境界 You gotta admit that our relationship is hitting a new level now.
你是大厨 我是客人 You were the chef, and I was the customer.
现在我们是在吵嘴的情侣 But now we're this couple that fights.
好吧 Okay, um...
你是个疯子 ...you're a loon.
听着 忘了支票的事 好吗 我喜欢你 Look, forget the check, okay? I like you.
我觉得你很棒 I think you're great.
来吧 你觉得呢 Come on, what do you say?
我不知道 I don't know.
为什么 Why not?
我不想鼓励这种行为 I don't wanna encourage this behavior.
一顿饭 那是我唯一的要求 拜托 One meal. That's all I'm asking for. Please?
我们出去吃饭 We go out, we eat.
如果你玩得不开心 我给你一万块 我们就扯平了 If you don't have a good time, I'll give you 10 grand, we're even.
- 嗨 - 不 - Hi. - Aah! No!
等一下 放下邮件 是我 Wait, no. Just put the mail down. It's me.
抱歉 为什么你不开灯呢 Sorry. Why were you just all in the dark?
你的衣服闻起来好香 我只想窝在里面 Well, um, your laundry smelled so good that I thought I'd curl up in it.
- 可以吗 - 没问题 - Is that all right? - Yeah, sure.
今天你过得还好吗 So how was your day?
这可能是我一生中最糟糕的一天 It's just probably the worst one since I've been alive.
什么发生了什么事 What, um...? What happened?
爱丽丝… Um, Alice, uh...
她跟我分手 She, uh, called it off.
喔 不 Oh, no.
她有说为什么吗 Did, um... Did she say why?
她没说 她只说我太年轻 Uh, no, not really. Just that I was too young.
我不懂为什么突然间我会太年轻 I don't see how I could suddenly be too young...
我比我们刚在一起时还老 ...because I'm older than I was when we first got together.
对 不 我不… Yeah, yeah, no, I don't...
我不知道 你知道吗 或许这样子也好 I don't know. But you know what? Maybe it's just all for the best.
对 如果那代表我会超心痛的 Well, yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain.
甜心 Oh, sweetie.
我终于找到幸福 You know, I was just finally happy.
我人生中的第一次 For the first time in my life...
在我爸离开我后 ...after my dad left me...
因为偷鸟被捕 ...and then getting arrested for stealing those birds...
还有肺部崩塌的事之后 ...and then the whole punctured-lung thing.
天气冷时我还是很难深呼吸 It's still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather...
但有了爱丽丝后 那些痛苦都不见了 ...but with Alice, all that stuff kind of went away.
现在她走了 我不知道为什么 And now it's gone, and I don't know why.
我来告诉你为什么 都是我害的 Ugh. Well, I can tell you why. It's because of me.
你知道吗 我会那么做是因为我爱你 好吗 But you know what? I only did it because I love you, okay?
- 什么 - 我跟爱丽丝谈了一下 - What? - Um, I kind of had a little chat with Alice...
让她了解为什么你们不能在一起 ...and I sort of made her see why you two shouldn't be together.
有一天你也会明白 真的 And you'll see it too, one day. You really, really will.
等一下 这都是你搞的鬼 Wait a minute. This is because of you?
好吧 Okay...
等一下 不 我妈妈不要我们在一起 Wait, no. My mother didn't want us to be together...
但她也只是把我绑在门廊上 ...but the worst thing she did was tie me to the porch.
好吧 可是… Okay, but...
我来找你 因为我以为你能了解 I came to you because I thought you'd understand.
喔 不 Oh, no!
我该冲出这里 I would storm out of here...
如果我有钱或有地方可去的话 ...if I had some money or a place to go.
天啊 百万富翁来了 Oh, my God! The millionaire's here!
天啊 Oh, my God!
各位 拜托 我只是要跟他去吃晚餐 Guys, please. I'm just gonna have dinner with him.
好吧 他请你吃晚餐 不代表你欠他任何东西 Okay, just because he buys you dinner does not mean you owe him anything.
我知道 I know.
好吧 记得点龙虾 Okay, then get the lobster.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
哈罗 Hello.
你的口袋里装了多少现金 Hey, how much cash you got in your pocket right now?
这正是我不请你进来喝一杯的原因 再见 And that's why I'm not inviting you in for a drink. Bye.
有何不可 进来喝一杯吧 Why not? Hey, come in for drink.
- 你要去哪里 - 你喜欢比萨吗 - Where do you wanna go? - You like pizza?
- 听起来很棒 - 我知道有家小店很不错 - Oh, that sounds great. - I know a great little place.
（卡诺瓦餐厅）
你不必付比萨钱 You're not paying for the pizza.
少来了 这样才公平 你付了机票钱 Come on, it's only fair. You paid for the flight.
够了吗 Is that enough lira?
我会再加一千里拉 Uh, I'd throw another 1000 on that.
- 那等于多少 - 大约美金六毛钱 - How much is that? - That's about 60 cents.
每晚都这样 Every night!
你不需要抽烟 You don't need to smoke.
香烟无法控制你 Cigarettes don't control you.
你是坚强有自信的女人 You are a strong, confident woman...
完全不需要抽烟 ...who does not need to smoke.
坚强有自信的女人 A strong, confident woman...
完全不需要抽烟 ...who does not need to smoke.
我也可以 So can I.
法兰克 Hey, Frank.
听着 我知道你认为我做了坏事 Look, I know that you think I did this totally evil thing.
但我真的没有 But I so didn't.
有人能解释得比我清楚 Someone's here who can explain this better than I can.
我们可以去看一下 We can go look.
嗨 法兰克 Hi, Frank.
奈特老师 Hi, Mrs. Knight.
菲比说的对 法兰克 Phoebe's right, Frank.
这让人很难接受 但我们真的那么做是不对的 It's hard to hear, but it would've been wrong to go through with it.
我太自私了 I was being selfish.
即使现在我们的目标一样 Even though we want the same things right now...
未来可能不是那样的 ...in the future, we may not.
- 对吧 - 对 但不只是那样 - Is that what it is? - Yes, but not just that.
对 但不只是那样 Right, not just that.
虽然我们深爱彼此 Even though we love each other as much as we do...
可是… ...nonetheless...
- 可是… - 可是… - Nonetheless. - Nonetheless.
你太年轻 You're too young...
还不知道你要什么 ...to really know what you want.
没错 That's right, exactly.
那是道别亲吻 太棒了 That's a goodbye kiss. That's good.
再见 Bye-bye.
重点是你了解我的意思 The important thing is, is that you see what I'm saying.
很显然 这样是不对的 This is clearly wrong.
我决定要让你们继续做下去 I've decided I'm gonna let this happen.
好吧 我能拿一下皮包吗 Okay, can I just get my purse?
好吧 我走了 Okay, all right, good.
香烟无法控制你 Cigarettes don't control you.
你是坚强有自信的女人 You are a strong, confident woman...
完全不需要抽烟 ...who does not need to smoke.
乔伊是你最好的朋友 Joey's your best friend.
每天你都要做起司三明治给他吃 You wanna make him a cheese sandwich every day.
你还要送他价值数百块美金的裤子 And you also wanna buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.