密苏里州会不会有个城镇… Do you think there's a town in Missouri or someplace...
名叫样本 ...called Sample?
当你开车去那里 标志上会写着… And as you're driving into the town, there's a sign and it says:
"你在样本里" "You're in Sample."
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 你跟彼特怎样了 - 快说 - How did it go with Pete? - Tell us.
你们一定不会相信的 我去… You're not gonna believe this. So I go...
很抱歉 I'm sorry. Excuse us.
- 店里有点挤 可以一起坐吗 - 挪一下 - It's a little crowded. Do you mind? - Could you skooch?
稍微挪一下 Move over just a little bit.
再挤一挤 Keep on skooching.
谢谢 Thank you.
总之呢 我去找他 然后… So, guys, listen. I go over there and, you know, I'm...
为什么 我怎么了 Why? What is wrong with me?
- 怎么了 - 提姆… - What's the matter? - Tim...
我有一种感觉 ...I have a feeling...
我老婆和她的妇科医生有一腿 ...my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
- 他是近水楼台先得月 - 我知道 - He's got access. - I know.
我就是感觉得到 It's a feeling you get.
就像穿到别人的保龄球鞋 Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes?
没错 That's the one.
- 你去了彼特家 - 发生什么事 - So you went to Pete's. - What happened?
我为什么这么背 Why is this happening to me?
也许是我的伤口害的 Maybe it's my wound.
算了 Forget it.
你的伤还没好 It's not healed yet?
它一直在渗血 It's oozing!
请把奶精给我 在那边 Would you pass the cream? There's the cream.
谢谢 Thank you very much.
汤玛斯 这很难说出口 但我想亲口告诉你 Tomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me.
- 什么事 - 是我跟你老婆有一腿 - What is it? - I've been sleeping with your wife.
你是那个妇科医生 You're the gynecologist?
不好意思 我在谈私事 I'm trying to have a private conversation.
我要纸巾 请拿给我 Can I have a napkin? Could you please hand me a napkin?
全都拿来啦 Just give me the thing, all right?
够了 Enough!
你不再是我的朋友了 And you are no longer my friend!
我们断交 一刀两断 We are finished! Nada! No more!
你这个龟孙子竟然做这种事 You are a bastard for doing that!
离我远一点 Stay away from me!
你回来 Come back!
你刚才要说什么 So what were you gonna tell us?
我忘了 I have no idea.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 # # When the rain starts to pour #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 支持一如往昔 # # Like I've been there before #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
（中央咖啡厅）
彼特想告诉你什么消息 What was the big news Pete wanted to tell you?
还是我该改叫你 摩妮卡•贝克太太 Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?
保留你的姓 不要用他的姓 Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name.
他没有向我求婚 He didn't ask me to marry him.
那绝对不要用他的姓 Then definitely don't take his name!
他要参加一个什么… He wanted to tell me he's going to compete in some Ultimate...
终极格斗比赛 ...Fighting Competition thingy.
- 彼特 - 那是什么 - Pete? - Why? What is it?
我也不清楚 有点像摔跤 I don't know exactly. It's sort of like wrestling.
但不用穿表演服 But without the costumes.
那是玩真的 非常野蛮 And it's not fake. It's totally brutal.
两个人在场中厮杀 规则是"没有规则" It's two guys in the ring and the rules are, "There are no rules"!
所以可以咬人 扯别人的头发 You can bite and pull people's hair and stuff?
都可以 除了戳眼睛和鱼钩手 Anything goes except eye-gouging and fish-hooking.
- 什么是鱼钩手 - 就是… - What's fish-hooking? - What's fish-hook...
谢了 不然还真难形容 Thanks. That would have been hard to describe.
那是什么味道 What is that taste?
我的手很干净 我刚帮鸭子洗完澡 My hands are totally clean. I just gave the duck a bath.
谢谢各位的热烈欢迎 Thanks for the warm welcome.
很高兴有各位的加入 我要大展身手 希望你们也是 It's good to have you guys on my team. I come to play. I hope you do too.
去给他们好看吧 记住… Let's go out there and get them! And remember:
团队当中没有小我 There is no I in "team."
但喝了酒就不是那么回事了 回我那里去吧 Yes, but there's two in "martini." So, everybody, back to my office.
那个嬉皮笑脸的 你叫什么名字 You! Chuckles. What's your name?
我姓宾 很抱歉 我只是… It's Bing, sir. I'm sorry. I was just...
我听到你说的话了 很有趣 我喜欢 No, no. I heard what you said. Funny. I like funny.
我们要努力 也要尽兴 This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun.
很高兴有你加入 宾 Good to have you aboard, Bing!
对 瑞德 That's right. Ryder.
薇诺娜•瑞德要订六个位子 Winona Ryder for six.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 订到位子了 - 对 - Yeah. We have the reservations. - Yes!
好厉害 All right, buddy! Way to go!
老兄 你干什么 Dude, what are you doing?
说得好 我上司今天一直拍我屁股 还一脸不在乎 Thank you. My boss keeps slapping my butt and acting like it's no big deal.
那你怎么做 What'd you do about it?
什么都没做 我不想当… I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy...
对上司拍屁股有意见的人 ...who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
我觉得当那个人无所谓 I gotta tell you, I think it's okay to be that guy.
也许像体育比赛时 Maybe it's that jock thing.
美式足球员达阵之后都会拍来拍去 You know, how football players pat each other after touchdowns.
我实在不了解男人 You know, I don't understand guys.
我称赞摩妮卡煮的炖肉好吃时… I mean, I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew...
也不会抓她的胸部 ...by, you know, grabbing her boob.
如果炖肉真的很好吃 I know. For a really great stew, you'd just...
应该直接把脸埋进去 ...stick your head in between them.
可以吃饭了吗 Can we please go eat?
- 要吃什么 - 不要吃炖肉就好 - Yeah, what are we getting? - Anything but stew.
从今以后 别让你的上司逮到机会 So from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you.
别把背部对着他 Don't turn your back to him.
你也可以给他一个教训 Or you could teach him a lesson, you know?
你可以在屁股上涂很臭的东西 What you do is rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right?
他拍了你之后 手就会很臭 Then when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell.
有什么很臭的东西可以拿来涂 Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
如果乔伊是总统该怎么办 What if Joey was President?
瑞秋 能不能问你一件事 Can I ask you something?
- 当然 - 前提是你可以反对… - Yeah. - Okay, you can totally say no...
我可以帮罗斯介绍女朋友吗 ...but would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
跟谁 Oh. Uh, with who?
我的朋友邦妮 她一直觉得罗斯很可爱 My friend Bonnie. She always thought Ross was cute...
你们既然分手了 她问我能不能牵线 ...and she asked if I could set it up.
- 如果你会在意… - 邦妮是哪一个 - But if that's not cool... - Which one is Bonnie?
她两年前来参加过我的庆生会 You remember her from my birthday party?
不高不矮 Average height...
不瘦不胖 光头… ...medium build, bald...
没关系 That's fine.
太棒了 很好 Great! Okay! Good for you! All right!
你是铁 你是钢 You are iron! You are steel!
我问你 为何我打去你的电脑客服部 Let me ask you, how come when I call your computer support line...
得等上一个半小时 ...I have to wait an hour and a half?
我们有加派接线生 专心训练 好吗 We're adding operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
想到有邮件却收不到 我就心烦 It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get.
- 嗨 - 摩妮卡 - Hi. - Monica!
亲爱的 Hi, honey.
趴在桌子上 On the table. On the table, please.
我的朋友跟我谈到… Hey, um, so listen, my friends were telling me a little bit about...
终极格斗的事 ...this Ultimate Fighting thing.
听起来很危险 It sounds really dangerous.
我不希望你受伤 因为我蛮喜欢你的 I don't want you to get hurt, because I kind of like you.
我也不想受伤 我很精明 I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this.
看看这些人 他们是世界顶尖的教练 See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world.
霍奇以前是职业杀手 Hoshi was a paid assassin.
粉刷工人 他以前是粉刷工人 A housepainter! He used to be a housepainter!
- 答应我一定要小心 - 我答应你 - Promise me you'll be careful. - I promise.
- 今晚照旧吗 - 那好 因为… Are we still on for tonight? Good. Because...
我们也可以来运动一下 ...maybe we could have a little workout of our own.
大赛之前不准炒饭 No! No boom-boom before big fight!
能不能炒面 How about just a boom?
真今人沮丧 刚才卖椒盐脆饼给我的 That was depressing. I just bought a pretzel...
是"名扬四海"的演员 ...from one of the kids from Fame.
- 可以去看电影了吗 - 噢 这是邦妮 - Ready to go to the movies? - Mm-hm. Oh, this is Bonnie!
嗨 Hi.
这是邦妮 This is Bonnie?
这是邦妮 你是邦妮 This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?
我可以拿身份证给你看 I can show you an I.D. If you want.
不是 你跟上次 我见到你时不太一样 Oh, no. You look a lot different than the last time I saw you.
是啊 我又开始戴胸罩了 Oh, yeah. Well, I just started wearing bras again.
一定是这个原因 Oh, that must be it.
祝你们玩得愉快 Have fun tonight.
谢了 你们也是 Thanks. You too.
你说她是光头 You said she was bald.
以前是 现在不是 She was bald. She's not now.
你怎么没说她有长头发 How could you not tell me she has hair?
我很少提到别人有长头发 I don't know. I hardly ever say that about people.
怎么会这样 Oh, well this is just perfect!
对不起 你不是说没关系吗 Well, I'm sorry. I thought you said it was okay.
因为我以为她是个光头怪女人 I said it was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick.
她满头都是头发 That girl has got hair all over her head!
- 也许罗斯不会喜欢她的个性 - 她的个性不好吗 - Maybe Ross won't like her personality. - Does she have a bad personality?
不 邦妮性格最好了 Oh, no, Bonnie's the best!
宾 Bing!
我看过你的企划案了 非常精彩 Read your CompuTek proposal. Real home run.
没有打中 站过来 Ooh. Barely got you that time. Get over here!
快点 Come on.
干得好 Oh, yeah! Good one.
这次表现得很好 保持下去 That was a good one. Keep at it, team!
- 他是怎么回事 - 怎么回事 - What is with him? - "With him"?
你是他最喜欢的下属 You're his favorite. You're his guy!
我们从来没有被打过 We never get smacked.
才不是 他打过你一次 That's not true. He smacked you once.
那是巧合 他打完你之后弹到我 Not on purpose. He ricocheted off you and got me.
告诉你 我需要被打 I'm telling you, I need some smacks.
我有个小孩要上达特茅斯学院 I got a kid starting Dartmouth.
达特茅斯 谁上达特茅斯 那里差劲透了 Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks!
- 你念达特茅斯吗 宾 - 不是 - You go to Dartmouth? - No, sir.
那就好 There you go! Ha-ha-ha.
嘿 Hey.
天啊 罗斯 那是什么 God, Ross! What is that?
终极格斗套餐 The Ultimate Fighting Combo.
省三毛 还可以收藏杯子 I saved 30 cents. Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!
来自纽约州纽约市 AFrom New York City, New York...
首次参加终极格斗冠军赛 ...appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut...
他在商场上以强硬著称 ...he's known for his confrontational business style!
各位先生 女士 让我们欢迎… Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...
彼特•贝克 ...Pete Becker!
彼特 我爱你 I love you, Pete!
他的对手来自加州亨廷顿海滩 And his opponent from Huntington Beach, California...
重达三百磅的街头搏击好手 ...he's a 300-pound street fighter...
坦克•艾博特 ...Tank Abbott!
彼特 彼特 Pete? Pete?
- 那家伙好魁梧 - 放心 - That guy's pretty huge. - Don't worry.
我会用他的力量和体重反击他 I'll use his strength and weight against him.
那他的麻烦就大了 Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
打倒他 加油 You go get him. Let's go!
两位 来吧 Here we go, gentlemen.
准备好了吗 Are you ready?
准备好了吗 开战 Are you ready? Then let's get it on!
是我 It's me.
摩妮卡 Monica.
我真的很以你为荣 Can I just tell you how proud I am of you?
真窝心啊 刚才有两万人喊我逊 It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant, "You suck!"
我原本觉得你疯了 I thought you were nuts at first...
但是你做到了 ...but you did it.
现在你回首往事 可以毫无遗憾了 Now you can just look back at this with no regrets.
回首往事 Look back?
你不是还要打吧 You're not gonna keep going?
我问你一件事 我是终极格斗冠军吗 Let me ask you a question: Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
不是 但是… Well, no. But...
不当上冠军 我绝不罢休 I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
那家伙踩着你的脖子把你踩昏 That guy stood on your neck until you passed out.
我告诉你一个故事 Let me tell you a story.
我着手研发的摩斯865 你以为是一夕成功吗 When I set out to create MOSS 865, do you think it happened overnight?
不是 摩斯一代烧毁我爸的车库 No. There was MOSS 1 that burned down my dad's garage.
摩斯二代只能排一月的行程表 There was MOSS 2 that would only schedule appointments in January.
此外还有862次的失败经验 And 862 others that I learned from.
我从这场比赛就学到绝不能让对手踩我的脖子 Just like I learned from this fight never to let a guy stand on my neck.
你之前不知道 You didn't know that already?
我会越来越强 Look, I'm gonna get better.
好吗 我保证 Okay? I promise you.
好 Okay.
要强很多 Just get a lot better.
而且要快 Fast.
还有一件事 One other thing.
霍奇认为你在场边会影响我的注意力 Hoshi thinks you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
是啊 Yeah.
对 问题就在这里 That was the problem.
- 彼特的比赛几点开始 - 还有五分钟 - How long until Pete's fight? - About five minutes.
现在他们在访问他的对手 They're interviewing his opponent.
他的训练方式是去伊朗拔断小偷的手臂 Apparently, he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
- 热狗 - 麻烦拿四根 - Wow. Ha, ha. Hot dog? - Four, please.
我很紧张 I'm really nervous.
谢谢 Thank you.
你跟邦妮怎么样了 So how did it go with Bonnie?
这个我得告诉你 我没想到我会喜欢她 Oh, I gotta tell you, I wasn't expecting to like her at all.
我目前根本没打算要喜欢别人 I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now.
但她真的很棒 But she's really terrific.
真糟糕 It's too bad.
我是说我喜欢她 No, I'm saying I liked her.
你不必为一颗树放弃整片森林 There are other fish in the sea.
菲比 我觉得她很棒 我们要再约会 I think she's great, okay? We're going out again.
我听到了 你可以谈点别的吗 I hear you. Are you capable of talking about anything else?
我的火鸡汉堡在哪里 Which one's my turkey burger?
在我脚边 抱歉 The one next to my foot. Sorry.
- 比赛开始了 - 我们马上进去 - Fight's starting! - We'll be right in.
你的上司今天又打你屁屁了吗 So did your boss try to slap you again today?
九次 Nine times.
害我得擦护肤液 I had to put on lotion.
不过没关系 我明天要做个实验 But it'll be okay. Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.
要是顺利 我的屁股就没人会拍了 And if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack-free.
比赛结束 Fight's over!
不好意思 道格 Excuse me, Doug?
超级体育迷 Hey there, sports fan!
宾 数据做好了吗 Bing! You got those numbers for me?
没有 我没做 No. I didn't do them.
你忘了 Oh. You forgot?
不是 我就是没做 No, I just didn't do them.
我跟朋友出去喝了两杯 Instead, I hung out with some friends and had a couple of beers.
所以我不值得表扬 不管是言语上… So I certainly don't deserve praise. Verbal...
或其他方式 ...or otherwise.
我昨晚也醉了 是某个美女载我回家的 I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home.
塔本吉桥变得好小 Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller. Ha, ha.
没关系 你还是我头号爱将 宾 That's okay. You're still my number one guy! Bing!
道格 Doug!
我对你表达自我的方式感觉有点不舒服 I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the way that you express yourself.
你是说我经常骂脏话吗 Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing?
如果是的话 你可以去死吧 Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!
不是骂脏话的事 而是… No. It's not about the swearing. It's more about...
你偶尔会… ...the way that you occasionally...
把热情集中在… ...concentrate your enthusiasm...
我的屁股上 ...on my buttocks.
别误会 我了解你的情绪 Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment.
只不过我的臀部很敏感 It's just that I have a rather sensitive posterior.
而且别人都在嫉妒 And besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.
别再说了 你讲这些话 确实很有种 Well, say no more. You know, it takes guts to bring this up.
宾 很好 Bing, you're okay.
好 Okay.
你要住在满身大汗的巨人的上衣口袋 Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant...
还是他的排水管里 ...or inside his shower drain?
天哪 Oh, my God.
你看 是罗斯和那个女的 Look. It's Ross and that girl.
- 看 有一排蚂蚁 它们在同心协力 - 菲比 Look at that! It's a line of ants! They're working as a team!
噢 对 罗斯好像要跟她分手了 Right. Oh, yeah. It looks like Ross is breaking up with her.
希望他不要太狠 I hope he lets her down easy.
你看 他们没有要分手 看看他们 Look at that! They are not breaking up! Look at them!
那是第二次约会 You know what that is? A second date, that's what that is.
你看 她把手放到他的大腿上 Look, she just put her hand on his thigh.
小意思 她在性方面很主动 That's nothing. She's very sexually aggressive.
天哪 Oh, God!
都是你不好 他爱上她了 他会娶她 都是你的错 It's your fault. Now he loves her. He'll marry her. It's all your fault.
你自己说没关系的 You said it was okay.
你说她以前是光头 You said she was bald!
是以前… Was! Was, was, was!
我们得想个办法 我们得拆散他们 We can't let it happen. We have to do something. We have to break them up.
进去帮她剃光头 你欠我一个光头女 Just go in there and shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!
你先深呼吸 Okay, first of all, breathe.
再来 我实在不懂 Second of all, I don't get it.
不是你决定要跟罗斯分手的吗 Aren't you the one that decided you didn't want to be with Ross?
是的 Yes.
他不是你的朋友吗 你不希望他快乐吗 Well, isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy?
希望 Yes.
所以呢 So?
但是我没想到这么快他就这么开心了 It's just, you know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon.
- 完了 - 怎么了 - Oh, no. - What?
蚂蚁被我们压死了 We killed them all!
没这么严重 这是以防万一 It's not as bad as it looks. It's a precaution.
我的脊椎骨不能动 I'm not supposed to move my spine.
你要放弃了吧 Please tell me you're stopping now.
我没事 今晚要我上场都行 I'm fine. I'd fight tonight if they'd let me.
你看这个圆 Now, see this circle I'm marking off here?
这是我的恐怖区 This is my Zone of Terror.
你疯了 你一定要放弃 You are insane! You've got to give this up!
除非我拿到格斗冠军 我才会放弃 I can't until I'm the Ultimate Fighter.
我会成功的 I will do it.
总有一天 小朋友会争辩我和超人… The day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight...
谁会打赢 ...me or Superman.
我赢不过超人 不过小孩子都很笨 Not that I could beat Superman, but kids are stupid.
你先坐下 Just sit down.
听我说 Please listen to me.
你打得很烂 你是史上最烂的终极格斗手 You are terrible at this, okay? You are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever.
最烂的 Ever!
我的肌腱套破裂 右前臂有轻微骨折 I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm...
喉结严重瘀伤 但你的话最伤人 ...and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.
你知道吗 Well, then you know what?
我关心你 没办法看你这样伤害自己 I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself like this.
要是你非打不可 我就不能在你身边陪你 So if you have to do this, you'll have to do it without me.
如果你要我放弃 If you're asking me to quit...
就是要我违背本性 ...then you're asking me to be someone I'm not.
我非打不可 I've got to do this.
那我要走了 Then I've gotta go.
再见 Bye.
- 摩妮卡 - 是的 - Monica? - Yes?
你可以留张字条吗 我服了止痛药 Could you leave a note? I'm on painkillers...
明天可能会忘记这件事 ...and I might not remember this tomorrow.
总而言之 曲线节节上升 我很满意 So, in conclusion, the lines all go up, so I'm happy.
做得好 明天八点半见 Great job, team! Tomorrow at 8:30.
菲尔 干得好 史蒂芬 漂亮 Phil, nice job! Stevens, way to go!
戈博 你这个疯子 Goldberg, you maniac!
我爱你 I love you!
- 宾 没有你可不行 - 谢谢 - Bing, couldn't have done it without you. - Thank you, sir.
抱歉 Oh, excuse me.
我忘了拿公事包 不小心的 I forgot my briefcase, you know, by accident.
当然是不小心的 你还忘了一件事 Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!
你呢 Well, what about you?
不会觉得被冷落了吧 You're not feeling left out, are you?
一点也不会 别闹了 No, not at all. That's ridiculous.
大家都有 你也想来一下 对吧 Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you?
没错 Yes, I do.
给我滚吧 Now, get on out of here, you!
彼特•贝克绕着格斗场 Pete Becker circles the ring.
似乎想弄清楚自己的情势 Looks like he's just trying to feel him out.
重伤害进攻了 Bruiser is charging!
快逃啊 你这有钱佬的怪胎疯子 Run, you crazy, rich freak!
我不敢看 I can't watch this.
你看 彼特要赢了 Check it out! Pete's winning!
- 真的吗 - 才怪 - Really? - No!
彪形大汉把贝克打倒在地 向他最喜欢的部位进攻 Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favorite area!
既然是最喜欢的部位 为何要下这种毒手 Wait! If that's his favorite area, why is he being so mean to it?
真是讽刺 This is ironic.
你的前任男友理查不想生小孩 Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids.
现在看情况 彼特是不能生 And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.