我们跑去海边 因为菲比找到一个女人 Okay, so we went to the beach because Phoebe found out about this lady...
她认识她的父母 ...who knew her mom and dad...
然后我就不知道了 ...and I don't really know what happened with that.
- 我是你的母亲 - 哦 - I'm your mother. - Huh?
摩妮卡开玩笑说 她不会跟钱德这种人约会 Monica joked that she wouldn't go out with a guy like Chandler.
- 你好啊 - 他一直很在意 - Hi there. - He couldn't let it go.
然后我也不知道了 然后罗斯的新女朋友邦妮跑来 I don't really know what happened with that. And then Ross' new girlfriend shows up...
瑞秋说服她理了个大光头 ...and Rachel convinced her to shave her head.
然后罗斯和瑞秋接吻了 And then Ross and Rachel kiss.
现在他得在瑞秋和光头女之问二选一 And now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl.
然后我还是不知道 And I don't know what happened there either.
等一下 我去找钱德来 You know what? Hold on. Let me go get Chandler.
嘿 Hi.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
瑞秋在帮我擦头 我的头晒伤了 Rachel was just helping me out. My head got all sunburned.
噢 Aw.
- 感激不尽 - 不用客气 - Thanks a million. - Oh, you're welcome a million.
- 我先回房去 - 哦 - Okay, I'll be in our room. - Uh.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我知道 I know.
- 好 我走了 - 什么？为什么？ - Okay, I gotta go. - Whoa. What? Why?
我得跟邦妮分手 Uh, I gotta go break up with Bonnie.
在这里？现在？ Here? Now?
我不能整晚留在这里 Well, yeah, I can't stay here all night.
要是我回房 她会想… And if I go in there, she's gonna want to...
嘿咻 ...do stuff.
你不能说你没心情吗？ Can't you just tell here that you are not in the mood?
她喜欢那样 No, she likes that.
装睡也没用 Ha, ha. Yeah, faking sleep doesn't work either.
我经常早上醒来 发现她在… I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
- 哦 - 哦 好的 - Oh. - Oh, okay.
- 我说这个干什么？ - 我不知道 - Ha, ha. Yeah, why am I telling you? - I don't know. Ha, ha.
呃… Uh, uh...
- 并不是每天早上都… - 愈描愈黑 - It wasn't every morning... - Oh, making it worse.
好吧 Okay.
你大概想知道前因后果 So I guess you'd like to know how it all happened.
我猜想得到 I mean, well, I think I can figure it out.
我想 你知道的 我出生之后 I guess, you know, I was born...
大家开始卯起来撒谎 ...and then everyone started lying their asses off.
不是那样的 No, no, it wasn't like that.
我不是说过 莉莉 法兰克和我很要好吗？ I mean, remember how I told you how Lily and Frank and I, we were close?
我们非常要好 Well, we were very close.
怎么说？ How close?
我们三个是一对 Well, the three of us, we were kind of a, um... A couple.
- 三个怎么会是一对？ - 我们… - I don't even know how that would work. - Well, we...
我不是在问你 I'm not asking.
总之 我不知怎么怀孕了 Well, anyhow, somehow I got pregnant...
我很… ...and I was...
害怕 我愚昧又自私… ...scared. I was stupid and selfish and...
我才十八岁 I was 18 years old.
还记得你的十八岁吗？ I mean, you remember what it was like to be 18 years old, don't you?
记得 妈自杀 爸跑掉 Yeah. Let's see, my mom had killed herself and my dad had run off.
我跟一个叫山迪的人住在一起 他会跟他的手说话 And I was living in a gremlin with a guy named Cindy, who talked to his hand.
对不起 Oh, I'm so sorry.
我以为他们是世上最好的父母 I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world.
直到几年前 我才听说他们的事 I didn't even hear about your mom and dad till a couple of years ago.
当时你已经长大了 And by then, you were already grown up.
既然你来了 I don't know. You're here and I would really...
我也想多认识你 I would like to get to know you.
每个人都想认识我 Yeah, well, everybody does. Ha, ha.
我是个很酷的人 I'm a really cool person.
你有二十九年的时间可以查 And you know, you had 29 years to find that out...
却连试都没试 ...but you didn't even try.
你扔下我不管 现在我也要对你这么做 You know what? You walked out on me, and I'm gonna do the same to you.
- 等一下 - 我不想再见到你 - Wait. - Okay? I don't ever want to see you again.
我的皮包呢？ Where's my purse?
讨厌 没有汽水了 Shoot. We're out of soda.
我去帮你买 Oh, I'll go out and get you some.
- 真的吗？ - 才怪 我又不是你的男朋友 - Really? - No, because I'm not your boyfriend.
菲比 怎么样了？ Hey, Pheebs, how'd it go?
嗯… Huh. Well, ahem...
我妈的朋友 菲比 其实是我的亲生母亲 My mom's friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth mom.
我捡到一个干掉的海马 I found a dried up seahorse.
什么意思？ Sweetie, what are you talking about?
我的新妈妈当年抛弃了我 Oh, my new mom, who's a big fat abandoner.
菲比 等等 Oh, wait, Pheebs.
稍等一下 你不想坐下来聊一聊吗？ Wait a second. Don't you want to stay here and talk about it?
不了 No. I just... I wanna...
我想静一静 I need to be alone.
- 摩妮卡 - 哦 - Monica. - Oh.
结束了 It's over.
- 很惨吗？ - 很久 - Oh. Was it awful? - Well, it was long.
我没意识到那么晚了 I didn't even realize how late it was...
直到她头上出现五点钟的日影 ...till I noticed the five o'clock shadow on her head.
她不想留下来 我帮她叫了车 她刚走 Anyway, she didn't want to stay. I called a cab. She just left.
我写了封信给你 I wrote you a letter.
谢谢 Oh, thank you. Ha, ha.
我喜欢收信 I like mail.
我想了一些关于我们的事 There's just some things I've been thinking about.
你知道的 关于我们的事情 You know, things about us.
在我们考虑复合之前 And before we can even think about the two of us getting back together...
我得知道你对这封信的想法 ...I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
- 好 - 好 - Okay. Heh. - Okay.
嗯 这是… Well, it's...
现在是早上五点半 It's 5:30 in the morning. Heh.
我最好赶快看完 So I'd better get cracking on this baby.
我等你 看完就上来 So I'll be waiting for you. Just come up when you're done.
好 我要花… Okay. I'll be up...
十八页的时间 ...in 18 pages.
双面都有 Front and back.
好兴奋喔 Very exciting.
哦 Oh, oh.
嘿 Hey.
怎么了？你怎么没上来？ What happened to you? Why didn't you come up?
看完了 Done.
- 你才刚看完？ - 我想看仔细一点 - You just finished? - Well, I wanted to be thorough.
这对你… 对我们显然很重要 I mean, this is clearly very, very important to you. To us.
我想一字一句用心斟酌 And so I wanted to read every word carefully.
斟酌两次 Twice.
所以… So, um...
行吗？ Does it?
什么？ I'm sorry?
行吗？ Does it?
我想再瞄一眼"行吗"的部分 Yeah, I wanted to give that whole "Does it?" part just another glance.
什么意思？你说你看了两次 What are you talking about, Ross? You just said that you read it twice.
行不行一句话 如果你还要考虑… Look, you know what? It either does or doesn't. And if you have to think...
不 我不用考虑 不用 No, Rach. No, I don't have to think about it. I don't.
事实上… Uh, in fact...
我已经决定了 我决定… ...I've decided. I have decided...
这件事… ...that it...
行 ...does.
- 你确定？ - 确定 - Are you sure? - Oh, sure, I'm sure.
好 发生核爆灾难 我是世上仅存的男人 All right. There's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on earth.
你会跟我约会吗？ Would you go out with me?
哦 Ehh.
我有罐头喔 I've got canned goods.
喂 你们看 Hey, you guys, take a look at this.
你们瞧瞧 我挖了个洞 Check this baby out. Dug me a hole.
好棒的洞啊 Excellent hole, Joe.
噢 不 我的洞 Oh, no, no. My hole.
我的脚 Ow! My foot. Ow!
怎么了？ What? What is it?
我被水母咬了 好痛… Jellyfish sting. Ow, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
要不要扶你回去？ Well, can we help you, take you back to the house?
两英里耶 Oh, it's, like, two miles.
而且我挖洞挖得好累 Yeah, and I'm a little tired from digging the hole.
死水母 Damn the jellyfish.
所有的水母都去死 Damn all the jellyfish.
得想个办法 We've gotta do something.
只有一个办法 There's only one thing you can do.
什么办法？ What? What is it?
在伤口上撒尿 You're gonna have to pee on it.
什么？嗯 What? Gross.
别怪我 我是在《探索频道》上看到的 Don't blame me. I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
他没唬你 尿液里有气 You know what? He's right. There's something like ammonia in that...
可以止痛 ...that kills the pain.
我不要 其实没… 那么痛 Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that bad!
需要隐私的话 可以躲进我的洞里 If you want some privacy, you can use my hole.
我准备好要走了 Well, I'm ready to get the hell out of here.
哦 Oh.
你们… ？ Are you...?
真的？ Are you?
太棒了 Oh, that's so great.
邦妮好可怜 Ooh, not for Bonnie.
但恭喜你们了 But for you, yay, aah.
- 嘿 - 海边好玩吗？ How was the beach?
- 我不知道 - 不怎么样 - Nothing. I don't know. - Uh, let's not worry about it.
- 怎么了？ - 没事 - What happened? - Nothing.
- 我要去冲澡 - 我也是 - I'm gonna take a shower. - Me too.
我也是 Me too.
我把袋子拿到车上 Okay, I'm gonna put this in the car.
我得去收东西 Oh, I have to go pack. Oh!
- 真的行吗？ - 行 - And it really does? - It does.
真的 真的行 It really and truly does.
哦 Oh.
行你个头 It so does not.
她要我对我们的失和 She wants me to take responsibility...
负起全部的责任 ...for everything that went wrong in our relationship.
她写了整整五页 说我如何不忠 I mean, she goes on for five pages about how I was unfaithful to her.
我们当时分手了 We were on a break!
天哪 你再说一次 我就跟你分手 Oh, my God. If you say that one more time, I'm gonna break up with you.
好 很好 All right, fine.
分手不是我一个人的错 她写说 But this breakup was not all my fault. And she says here:
"要是你负起全部的责任" 全部的责任 "If you accept full responsibility..." Full responsibility.
"我就能再次信任你 "...I can begin to trust you again.
你想你办得到吗？行吗？" Does that seem like something you can do? Does it?"
不行吗？ No?
罗斯 你得偿所愿 跟她复合了 Look, Ross, you have what you want. You're back with Rachel.
现在提出来 会毁了你一生中最美好的事 You're gonna wreck the best thing that ever happened to you.
我知道 你说得对 Yeah, I know. I know, you're right.
我会就此打住 Yeah, I guess I'll let it go.
但你们了解这件事很难忘记吧 But you understand how hard it is to forget about this?
当然很难 Sure, it's hard to forget...
但你不必拿出来谈 ...but that doesn't mean you have to talk about it.
这次度假有很多事 A lot of things happened on that trip...
都该从此绝口不提 ...that we should never, ever talk about.
在海边到底怎么了？ What the hell happened on that beach?
那是我们和大海的秘密 It's between us and the sea, Ross.
- 嗨 乌苏拉 - 嘿 - Hi, Ursula. - Hey.
我知道我们很久没联络了 Okay, well, um, I know that we haven't talked in a long time.
但我们的妈妈不是亲妈妈 But, um, okay, our mom is not our birth mom.
另一个女的才是 This other lady is our birth mom.
对 住在蒙塔克的那个 Right, okay, the one that lives in Montauk. Mm-hm.
你认识她？ You know her?
不认识 但妈的遗书里有提到 No. I, um... I read about her in Mom's suicide note.
妈有留遗书？ There was a suicide note?
还在吗？ Well, do you still have it?
等一下 Hang on.
你居然没告诉我有遗书 I can't believe you didn't tell me there was a suicide note.
是啊 你最近好吗？ Yeah, so how have you been doing?
我… 闭嘴 I... Shut up.
"别了 菲比与乌苏拉 我会想念你们 "Goodbye, Phoebe and Ursula. I'll miss you.
注:你们的母亲住在蒙塔克" P.S: Your mom lives in Montauk."
这是你刚才写的 You just wrote this.
差不多是这个意思嘛 Well, it's pretty much the gist.
只差那首诗 你读过那首诗吧？ Except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
没有 No.
等一下 All right. Hang on.
请把起司传给我 Pass the cheese, please.
哦 Ugh.
你连看都不敢看我 对吧？ My God, you can't even look at me, can you?
对 No.
是菲比 我们可以跟菲比说话 Yay, it's Phoebe. We can talk to Phoebe.
我很沮丧 不想说话 No, I'm too depressed to talk.
我给你一千元开口费 I'll give you $1000 to talk to us.
嘿 Hey, you guys...
我们要不要每年都去海滩玩？ ...what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
不要 No.
够了 到底出了什么事？ All right, that's it, you guys. What happened out there?
干嘛？我们只是去散步 没什么 What? We took a walk. Nothing happened.
我身上什么都没沾到 I came back with nothing all over me.
- 拜托 到底是… 乔伊？ - 这是什么意思？ - Come on, what happened? Joey? - What does that mean?
- 好吧 - 不行 - All right. - No.
我们发誓要死守秘密的 Joey, we swore we'd never tell.
他们不会了解的 They'll never understand.
我们得说出来 But we have to say something.
我快被逼疯了 We have to get it out. It's eating me alive.
- 摩妮卡被水母咬到 - 好吧 - Monica got stung by a jellyfish. - All right.
好吧 All right.
我被咬到 I got stung.
咬得很严重 Stung bad.
站都站不直 I couldn't stand. I...
走也走不动 I couldn't walk.
我们离屋子两英里远 We were two miles from the house.
既孤单又害怕 We were scared and alone.
我们还以为死定了 We didn't think we could make it.
我痛得要命 I was in too much pain.
我刚挖完洞好累 And I was tired from digging the huge hole.
然后乔伊想起一件事 And then Joey remembered something.
是在《探索频道》上看到的 I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
慢着 我也看过 Wait a minute, I saw that.
是《探索频道》没错 它说要是你被水母… On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you...
哦 Ew.
你在自己身上撒尿？ You peed on yourself?
哦 Ew.
你不能这么说 你根本不了解 You can't say that. You don't know.
我都快痛昏了 I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.
总之我试了 但没办法… Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't...
弯成那个姿势 ...bend that way.
所以… So...
哦 Ew.
没错 我挺身而出 That's right. I stepped up.
她是我的朋友 她需要帮助 She's my friend and she needed help.
如果有必要 我也会在你们身上撒尿 If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
只不过… 我尿不出来 Only, uh, I couldn't.
我怯场了 I got the stage fright.
我很想帮忙 但压力太大了 I wanted to help, but there was just too much pressure...
所以我找钱德 ...so I, uh... I turned to Chandler.
乔伊一直对我大叫 "快尿 快点尿 " Joey kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do it. Do it. Do it now."
有时在深夜里 我还会听到那吼叫声 Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear the screaming.
那是我在隔壁吓你 That's because, sometimes, I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
还有紫红色和淡紫色 And fuchsia and mauve
这就是我房里的六十六种颜色 Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom
谢谢 Thank you. Thank you.
大家都回去算算房里的颜色吧 Oh, and I invite all of you to count the colors in your bedroom.
你除外 你给我滚 Except for you. You go away.
我 马上就走 I'll go in a second.
我只想告诉你… I just want to tell you...
我每天都在后悔把你送人 ...that there hasn't been a day when I didn't regret giving you up.
好 再见 Okay, bye.
我还没说完 No, I'm not done.
我之所以没找过你 是因为… I just want you to know, the reason I never looked you up was because...
我很怕你的反应… ...well, I was afraid that you'd react...
会跟现在一样 ...just, well, like the way you're reacting now.
我们不能重新开始吗？ Can't we just, you know, start from here? Please?
不行 No.
好吧 Okay.
抱歉 Sorry.
最后一件事 But just one last thing.
你来找你的家人 You know, you came looking for family.
我就是了 I'm family.
没别人了 I'm it.
我说完了 Well, now I'm done.
我们又没什么损失 Yeah, but it's not like we're losing anything, you know?
你说得对 Yeah, I guess you're right.
我们又不熟 也没什么共同点 It's not like we know each other or anything or that have anything in common.
我不晓得 我们不见得没有共同点 Oh, I don't know. I mean, it's not like we don't have anything in common.
像我喜欢披萨 I mean, I like, uh, pizza.
我… 也喜欢披萨 I... I like pizza.
是吗？ You do?
等等 我喜欢披头士 Wait, I like, um, the Beatles.
天哪 我也是 Oh, my God. So do I!
我就知道 I knew it. Wow.
等等 小狗狗可不可爱？ Wait, wait, wait. Puppies. Cute or ugly?
- 可爱死了 - 哦 - Oh, so cute. - Oh!
- 对吧？ - 看吧 - Well? Ha, ha. - You see?
但我还是很气你 But I'm still... I'm mad at you.
我知道 I know.
我也很气自己 I'm mad at me too.
你想吃东西吗？ Well, um, do you want to get something to eat?
我有点饿 Because I'm kind of hungry.
嘿 我也是耶 Hey. Me too.
够了 你现在只是想吓我 All right, stop it. Now you're just doing it to freak me out.
我好想你 Aw, I missed you.
我也很想你 I missed you too.
我对那封信好紧张 Oh, I was so nervous about that letter.
但是你这么坦然认错 But the way you owned up to everything...
证明你真的成长不少 ...it just showed me how much you've grown, you know?
大概吧 I suppose.
真的有 罗斯 你不该妄自菲薄 No. You have, Ross. You have. You should give yourself credit.
我妈一直觉得我们无法复合 I mean, my mom never thought this would work out.
她一直说"狗改不了吃屎" Heh. She was all, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
- 嗯哼 - 哦 - Mm-hm. - Oh.
真希望没有这四个月的空白 I just wish we hadn't lost those four months.
但要是时间能让你看清楚一点 But if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
我们当时分手了 We were on a break!
- 要去咖啡厅吗？ - 好 - Coffeehouse? - You bet.
这段感情会破裂是两个人的错 And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship.
对 你和影印店那个女的 Yeah, you and that girl from the copy place...
你昨天表明愿意负责 ...which yesterday you took full responsibility for.
我不知道我负的是什么责任 I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay?
我没把信看完 I didn't finish the whole letter.
- 什么？ - 我睡着了 - What? - I fell asleep.
你睡着了？ You fell asleep?
当时是早上五点半 Yeah, it was 5:30 in the morning.
你一废话就废话了十八页 And you had rambled on for 18 pages.
双面都有 Front and back!
还有… Oh, oh, oh. And by the way.
"你得"是指"你必须" "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E" means "you are."
"你的"是代表所有格 "Y-O-U-R" means "your."
我居然会想跟你复合 I can't believe I even thought of getting back together with you.
我们根本就完了 We are so over.
无所谓 Fine by me!
哦 嘿嘿… Oh, and hey, hey, hey.
你星期六晚上 跟摩妮卡玩拼字游戏时 Those spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights...
一定不会写错字 ...playing Scrabble with Monica.
- 嘿 - 对不起 - Hey. - Sorry.
我只可怜你会想我想到失眠 I just feel bad about all that sleep you're gonna miss, wishing you were with me.
别怕我会睡不着 Oh, no, no. Don't you worry about me falling asleep.
我还有你的信 I still have your letter!
顺便告诉你 这种事并不常见 And hey, just so you know, it's not that common.
并非男人都会这样 这是很严重的 It doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal!
我就知道 I knew it!
我赢了 Gin.
我们在玩金罗美牌？ We were playing gin?
如果我们交往 就可以光着身体玩 You know, if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
- 别再说了 - 好吧 - Ha, ha. Would you stop? - Okay.
好啦 All right.
好啦 我觉得你很棒 Okay, all right. I think you're great.
我觉得你人很好 很聪明 I think you're sweet and you're smart...
而且我爱你 ...and I love you.
但你永远是在我身上撒尿的人 But you will always be the guy who peed on me.