- 谢谢你的美味晚餐 - 不客气 - Thanks for the tasty dinner. - You're welcome for a tasty dinner.
你们在看什么？ What are you guys looking at?
罗斯和宇宙无敌第一美女 Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
好骚的娘儿们 Yeah, come to Papa!
我知道 I know!
这实在不像我会说的话 Probably the only time I'll say this...
但你们看到她的屁股了吗？ ...but did you see the ass on her?
你是… 你是… What did you? When did you?
你怎么… 你怎么把到那种货色的？ How did you? How did you get a girl like that?
她是谁 代言模特儿？有氧舞蹈教练？ So what is she, like a spokesmodel? An aerobics instructor?
她是古生物学博士候选人 Actually, she's a paleontology doctoral candidate...
专攻新生代 ...specializing in the Cenozoic Era.
不过那是最简单的时代 But that's, like, the easiest era.
我在馆里见过她 但总觉得… I've seen her at work, but I always figured...
总之我做饭给她吃 But, uh, I made her dinner.
我们聊得很愉快 明天还要见面 We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
也许她跟朋友打赌 谁能钓到最怪的怪胎 Maybe her friends are betting to see who gets the biggest geek.
我无所谓 祝她胜利 Fine by me. Hope she wins.
嘿 Hey!
有包装纸吗？ You have any wrapping paper?
你要包我的生日礼物？ Is it for my birthday present?
你生日都过了1个月 It was your birthday months ago.
对 但你说订了特别的东西 还没送来 You said you ordered something special and it just hadn't come yet.
我有接到电话 I have a call in about that.
好的 Oh. Okay.
这是给凯西的生日礼物 是她最喜欢的书的早期版本 It's for Kathy. It's an early copy of her favorite book.
《天鹅绒兔宝宝》 Oh! The Velveteen Rabbit!
天哪 当男孩的爱让他变成真兔子… When the boy's love makes the rabbit real...
好 别模 你的手有油污 Don't touch it, because your fingers have destructive oils.
那你最好别靠近罗斯的头发 Then you'd better keep it away from Ross' hair.
这很珍贵 你是怎么找到的？ This is pretty rare. How did you get that?
没什么 我只是跑了几家书店 问了几个书商 No big deal. I just went to some bookstores...
联络了几个作者的孙子 ...talked to some dealers, called some of the author's grandchildren.
真是太贴心了 Honey, that's so sweet.
完全宣告了 "室友的马子 我在暗恋你" What a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend."
哪会啊… It doesn't say that.
会吗？ Does it?
你自己看嘛 你送的礼物别具意义又昂贵 How will it look when you get her something incredibly meaningful...
她的男朋友却送她一个柳橙 ...and expensive, and her boyfriend, Joey, gives her an orange?
好 我会叫乔伊送她很好的礼物 I'll make sure Joey gets her something really great.
可得比那本书还好 It's got to be better than that book.
像十字弓啦 Ooh! Like a crossbow!
真的很抱歉 Once again, I am sorry.
谢谢 再见 Thank you. Bye.
我推掉一个60人的丧礼外烩 I had to turn down a job catering a funeral for 60 people.
天哪 出了什么事？ Oh, my God! What happened?
是60个"客人" Sixty guests.
你为什么要推掉？ Why'd you have to turn it down?
因为我没有钱和用具 I don't have the money or equipment...
不可能临时接这种大生意 ...to handle something that big on such short notice.
这么消极是怎样？ Wow, what is with all the negativity?
你好像"摩妮不可" 而不是"摩妮可" You sound like "Moni-can't," not "Moni-can"!
摩妮"卡" Moni-ca.
你办外烩都3年多了 You've been playing around with this catering for years.
- 你到底想不想当外烩厨师？ - 我不知道 - Do you want to be a caterer? - I don't know.
这就对了 There you go! That's the spirit!
你需要钱我借你 你就接吧 If you need money, I will lend you money. Just get moving!
真的？我需要5百元来采买 Really? I'd need $500 for all the food and supplies.
好 能让你接就值得 你好几个月没工作了 It's worth it if it'll get you moving. You haven't worked in months!
你也是 Neither have you.
但我正在资助你 Yes, but I'm doing this.
太好了 谢谢 That would be great! Thank you.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey! - Hey!
你家的钥匙借我 Can I borrow your apartment keys?
为什么？ Why?
你可以在这里尿啊 You can pee here.
也对 不好意思 Ha-ha-ha. Yes, I can, of course. Excuse me.
反正正好鸭子也在用浴室 It's okay. The duck's using our bathroom anyway.
你要送她什么生日礼物？ What are you getting for her birthday?
我们才交往2星期也要送吗？ We've been dating a couple weeks. I got to get her something?
要啊 Yes!
不但要送 还要送得很好 Yes! You have to get her something really nice.
- 有了 - 1小时的… - I know! - And not one of your coupons...
"乔伊猛男体验券"不算 ...for an hour of "Joey Love."
填字游戏 我可以帮忙吗？ Ooh! A crossword! Can I help?
不行 No!
对不起 可是上星期我几乎全答对了 Last week I got all but three answers...
我很想独力完成一次 ...and I want to finish one without any help.
好 Fine.
那你也不能帮我研发新宇宙语 But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
- 嘿 - 怎么样？ - Hey! - How'd it go?
天哪 这个葬礼太棒了 Oh, my God! It was the best funeral ever!
每个人都说好吃 还有 Everyone loved the food.
我还接了明天的另一场葬礼 I even got another funeral for tomorrow.
是今天的死者的死党 The dead guy from today's best friend.
我成了那场事故的指定外绘 It's like I am the official caterer for that accident.
我真替你高兴 Mon, I'm so happy for you!
谢了 你看我的新用具 Thanks. Check out my new catering stuff.
看 我可以去卖蛋卷 Look! I'm an omelet station!
要特制蛋卷吗？ - Omelet? Made to order? - Ha!
请给我一份 还有我的钱 I'll have one, please. Plus my money.
哦 Oh...
我不晓得你 马上就要 I didn't realize you needed it right away.
你叫我去当外烩厨师 我就去了 You told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I be'd.
我把钱都花掉了 I used it to buy all this stuff.
我明天还有生意 到时就能还你 I got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back then.
好 抱歉刚才一副银行嘴脸 Oh! Okay. Sorry I acted like a bank.
你要进来吗？ Um, would you like to come in?
直立人是用木器打猎吗？ Did Homo erectus hunt with wooden tools?
最新证据显示是的 According to recent findings.
蜜琪 来 来 蜜琪 Here, Mitzi! Here, Mitzi!
蜜琪是… Uh, Mitzi is?
我的仓鼠 My hamster.
但愿他没事 好久没见到他了 I hope she's okay. I haven't seen her in a while.
请坐 Have a seat.
坐哪里？ Where?
对了 你… Uh, oh! Do you, uh...?
你有肉桂水果烤吐司吗？ Do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?
- 什么？ - 我有 - What? - Well, I do.
我们回我家去 点几根蜡烛 Let's go back to my place, light a couple candles...
开一盒肉桂水果烤吐司 ...break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?
- 还是不要好了 - 为什么？ - I'd rather not. - Oh, yeah? Why not?
我没有恶意 Okay, um... Don't take this the wrong way...
但是你家有一股怪味 ...but your place kind of has a weird smell.
- 东西都上车了？ - 对 钱拿到了吗？ - Is everything in the car? - Did you settle the bill?
还没 我最讨厌要钱了 No. I hate this part.
差点忘了这个 Ooh! Oh! Look what we almost left!
- 那不是我的 - 噢 - That's not mine. - Oh.
差点偷了这个 Ooh. Look what we almost took!
柏卡特太太？ Excuse me, Ms. Burkart?
厨房都收拾好了 Well, we're all cleaned up.
很好 谢谢你 Oh. Good. Thank you.
嗯… Um, ahem...
还有一件小事… And, well, there's this small matter of the, um...
- 什么事？ - 就是… - Dear? - The matter of...
费用的事 ...payment.
钱都是杰克在管 Jack used to handle the finances.
你知道吗？ You know what we should all do?
我们应该去看歌舞剧 Go see a musical.
是的 Sure.
你知道应该看哪一部？ You know which one?
1996年东尼奖得奖作品 The 1996 Tony Award winner.
你知道它的名字吗？ Do you know the name of that one?
不晓得《火爆浪子》？ I don't know, um, Grease?
不是 No.
《吉屋出租》？ Rent?
对 《吉屋出租》 Yes! Rent!
好 什么时候去？ So when do you want to go?
什么？我不行 我很忙 What? I'm sorry. I can't, I'm busy.
嘿 Hey...
天哪 女孩子的礼物真难买 Man, it is so hard to shop for girls. Ugh!
的确很难… 文具店？ Yes, it is, at Office Max!
你买了什么？ What did you get her?
一支笔 A pen.
这是二合一 是笔 也是时钟 It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock. Huh?
- 你不能送这个 - 为什么？ - Ha, ha. You can't give her that. - Why not?
她不是小孩子 She's not 11!
这也不是光明节结束前夕 And it's not the seventh night of Chanukah.
他的意思是 这个礼物虽然好 What he means by that is, while this is a very nice gift...
却不适合送给女朋友 ...maybe it's not something a boyfriend gives.
当然适合 Sure, it is.
她上班要用到笔 She needs a pen for work.
写到一半转过来一看 "哇 该去跟乔伊约会了" She's writing. She turns it over. "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
好 你送安琪拉什么生日礼物？ All right. What did you get for Angela Del Veccio's birthday?
我们交柱时没碰上生日 She didn't have one.
整整3年？ For three years?
已经来不及了 我还要试镜 Look, it's too late, and I got an audition.
我不能再找了 I can't shop anymore.
我去帮你找 好吗？ I will go out and try to find something for her.
谢了 Thanks, man.
你能不能顺便买张卡片？ While you're at it, could you get her a card?
要不要我顺便写一首小诗？ Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
或是买张印了诗的卡片 Or just get a card that has a poem already in it.
- 你得把钱要到 - 但是她哭个不停 - Oh! You have to get our money. - She couldn't stop crying.
眼泪还被眼镜放大了 With those thick glasses, her tears look giant.
我知道很难 I know, it's tough.
你知道我妈一下葬我做了什么 You know what the first thing I did after my mom's funeral was?
- 什么？ - 付钱给外烩厨师 - What? - Pay the caterer!
我做过很多工作 I've had a lot of jobs.
有些人总是想赖帐 And there are some people who always try to get out of paying.
不是"按摩时间不够长" It's either "That massage wasn't long enough"...
就是"我没听过这几首歌" ...or "I don't know any of those songs"...
或"这些墨西哥草帽不够大" "坏心眼的白妞" ...or "These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
好的 Okay.
你觉得她在装？ So you think she's faking?
你拿出帐单前她根本没哭 There weren't any tears till you showed her the bill.
她听起来很难过 She sounded pretty upset to me.
你是一个古老而绚丽的旗帜 You're a grand old flag
你是一个野心勃勃的国旗 永远在为和平努力 You're a high -flying flag And forever in peace may you wave
现在似乎没事了 She seems fine now.
所以你就走了？她家真的那么脏？ So you just left? Her place was really that bad?
我们下班回家 会把外套扔到椅子上 You throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day.
在她家是扔到一堆垃圾上 Like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage.
那也不是外套 而是一堆垃圾 And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage.
那也不是下班回家 而是世界末日 And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time...
只有垃圾存留下来 ...and garbage is all that has survived.
- 拿去 - 谢了 - Here. - Wow. Thanks.
然后呢？ So, uh, what happened?
哪有然后 我逃之夭夭 Nothing. I had to get out of there.
下次你就带她去你家 Next time, you take her to your place.
我试过了 她说我家有怪味 I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
- 什么怪味？ - 不晓得 香皂味？ - What kind of smell? - I don't know. Soap?
- 听着 你喜欢她对吧？ - 对 - Listen, you like this girl, right? - Yeah.
- 你想再跟她见面？ - 对 - You want to see her again? - Yeah.
那你就得在垃圾里跟她做 So you're going to have to do it in the mess!
好吧 你说得对 Yeah, okay. You're right.
稍微乱一点又怎样？ I mean, uh, who cares about a little sloppiness?
耶 Yeah.
- 其实蛮可爱的 - 很好 - It's endearing, really. - All right!
去搏倒那只美丽的猪吧 Now you go get that beautiful pig!
我花了一下午替凯西找一件 I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present...
比这只兔子好的礼物 ...for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
有找到吗？ Any luck?
有 我找到一家店 叫"送给凯西的隐形礼物" Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible Things for Kathy."
你能不能帮我搬一这些礼物？ Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
你就把书退回去 让乔伊送她那支时钟笔 Just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen...
你送个更差的东西 例如… ...and you get her something worse than that...
一支普通的笔 ...like a regular pen.
她会很喜欢这本书 She's really going to love this, you know?
我希望她拥有这本书 The bottom line is, I want her to have it...
就算不是我送的也行 ...even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
好贴心喔 Aw, honey, that's so sweet.
你不觉得很可悲吗？ Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
是"可悲" Oh, "pathetic"!
我要去见凯西了 我到处找你 Hey! I've been looking all over for you.
- 在哪里找？ - 家里啦 大厅啦 - Where? - Our place. The hall.
我找到礼物了 I got something.
是一本书 It's a book.
书？ A book?
是书也是保险盒？ Is it a book that's also a safe?
它就是一本书 It's a book that's just a book.
是她小时候最喜欢的书 《天鹅绒兔宝宝》的珍本 It's The Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite as a kid.
让我知道她喜不喜欢 好吗？ So, uh, just let me know if she likes it, okay?
没问题 You got it.
谢谢你 我欠你一次 Thanks for doing this. I owe you one.
那20块没有找钱是吧？ There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
没有 刚好20块 No, it came out to an even twenty.
哇 跟新书差不多贵 Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
惊心食人族 Jeepers Creepers
你从哪里找到这些私家侦探的? Where'd you get those peepers?
惊心食人族哪里来的那些眼睛? Jeepers Creepers Where'd you get those eyes?
还是没要到 对吧？ You didn't get the money?
等她暂停再去好了 Maybe I can try at intermission?
我们就走吧 You know what? Let's just go.
不行 钱没拿到不能走 No! Hey! We're not leaving till we get paid!
她以为她是谁啊 I don't know who she thinks she is.
好 我受够了 Enough is enough!
喂 未亡人 Hey, widow?
死老公的 打扰一下 Widow? Excuse me? Excuse me!
谢了 你现在当然十分难过 Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you.
但我们提供服务 就该领到费用 Um, but we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid...
因为你吃都吃了 ...because you ate that service.
钱没付清我们不会走 We are not leaving here until we are paid every penny, because...
因为我们是兼职的 不必赶场 ...we're part-time caterers and we have no place else to go.
好 我去拿皮包 All right. I'll get my bag.
很好 Good.
我留几张名片 I'm going to leave some cards here.
下次有需要请考虑我们 Please think of us for your next event.
你想进来吗？ You want to come inside?
想 Yes.
我想 Yes, I do.
我马上回来 你随便坐 I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.
猜精我是谁？ - Guess who. - Uh...
卫生稽查人员？ Department of Sanitation?
- 是我 - 噢 - It's me. - Ha, oh!
呃 Aw!
怎么了？ What?
- 喔 雪柔 - 喔 罗斯 - Oh, Cheryl! - Oh, Ross!
噢 噢 Oh! Oh!
噢 上帝 Oh! God!
噢 我的上帝 Aah! Oh, my God!
不 不 No! No!
那是我的仓鼠 是蜜琪 It's my hamster! It's Mitzi!
天哪 对不起 我吓到了 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. I must have freaked out.
幸好不是蜜琪 Thank God it's not Mitzi!
只是一只老鼠 It's just a rat.
完成了 I did it! Aah!
我填完了 我一个人把它填完了 I finished it! I did it all by myself!
却没有人可抱 And there's nobody to hug.
你们 Hey! Hey, you guys!
我一个人把字谜填完了 抱我 I finished it all by myself! Hug me.
太棒了 Yay! So good!
- 恭喜 - 谢谢 - Congratulations. - Thank you.
外烩办得怎样？ How did it go?
那个寡妇不肯付钱 菲比就骂到她付钱为止 The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her till she did.
没错 我是狠角色 I'm a hard-ass.
而我是软脚虾 我们应该联手 And I'm a wuss. We should be partners.
是啊 狠角色和软脚虾打击犯罪 Hard-ass and wuss. We could fight crime.
等一下 Wait a minute, Phoebe.
我们是该联手 We should be partners.
我们应该合伙办外烩 We should be catering partners.
你想嘛 你现在没工作 我们又合作无间 You're not working now, and we have a great time together.
- 好 - 我下厨 你管钱 - Okay. - I cook and you take care of the money.
我就像娶了个很传统的老婆 Oh! Lt'll be like I have a wife in the '50s!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey!
怎样？她喜欢吗？ How did she like the gift?
她爱死了 她拿去隔壁给女生们看 She loved it. She's showing the girls right now.
是吗？太好了 Yeah? That's great.
老实说 I got to tell you...
占了这个功劳我很过意不去 ...I feel bad taking credit for this, because...
我可有得爽了 ...am I going to get a lot of credit for this!
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
生日快乐 Hey. Happy birthday.
谢谢 Thank you.
钱德也有礼物要送你 You know, uh, Chandler got you a gift too.
他没有 No, he didn't.
他有 看 就在餐台上 Yeah, he did. Look, it's right there on the counter. Ho, ho!
生日快乐… Happy birthday.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
你何必破费 You really didn't have to.
- 哇 - 看呐 - Wow! - See...
你以为这是一支笔 其实转过来还有时钟 You think it's just a pen, but you turn it over and it's also a clock.
好棒的礼物 Really? No, this is great!
- 谢谢你 钱德 - 不客气 - Thank you, Chandler. - Oh. Yeah.
哦 Aw. Heh.
要睡觉了吗？ Want to go to bed?
我马上就来 I'll be in, in a minute.
别忘了带"猛男体验券" Oh, uh... Don't forget your coupon.
晚安 Good night.
谢谢你的礼物 Um, thank you for the gift.
我只是想有时你写字时 Oh, uh, I just knew that sometimes when you're writing...
不一定知道确切时间 ...you don't always know the exact time.
我不是说这支笔 谢谢你那本书 No, I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book.
书？ Uh, the book?
《天鹅绒兔宝宝》 The Velveteen Rabbit?
我觉得跟你有关 I have a feeling you had something to do with it.
什么意思？ What do you mean?
乔伊送我的时候说 When Joey gave it to me he said:
"因为我知道你喜欢兔子 也喜欢起司" "This is because I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese."
谢谢 我好喜欢 Thanks. I love it.
你一定花了很多功夫 I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
如果你没听到 我的意思是"还好啦" In case you missed that, that sound was, "Oh, well."
你一定很喜欢乔伊 才会这么费心 You must really like Joey to go to all that trouble.
是啊 他是… Oh, yeah. He's my...
他是我最要好的朋友 He's my best friend.
- 嗯… - 晚安 - Well... - Good night.
那可是限时体验券 Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
你不认识我 我是摩妮卡盖勒 罗斯的妹妹 Hi, uh, you don't know me. I'm Monica Geller, Ross' sister.
你知道 我们合不来的 You know, it's too bad that didn't work out.
总之他提到你家的情况 Anyway, he told me about your apartment.
我想得睡不着 Well, I couldn't sleep thinking about it.
我可以帮你打扫吗？ So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
不行吗？ No?