你居然没告诉我 我们还是夫妻 Oh, I cannot believe that you didn't tell me we are still married.
我有打算告诉你 Look, I was going to tell you.
什么时候？第一个小孩偷偷出生后？ When? After the birth of our first secret child?
罗斯没办注销 我们还是夫妻 Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.
- 什么？ - 我的天哪 - You're kidding? - Oh, my God.
罗斯 Ross.
或许这个决定不好 Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision...
但我无法面对另一次失败婚姻 but I couldn't face another failed marriage.
我插个嘴 Let me just jump in and ask.
你觉得这段婚姻哪里成功？ At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
别这样 其实想想还蛮好笑的 Rach, come on. If you think about it, it's actually kind of funny.
还是不要想好了 Okay, maybe it's best not to think about it.
这真是不可原谅 我真是震惊到了极点 Oh, this is inexcusable. I'm shocked to my very core.
菲比 我已经说你知道了 Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
又在骗人 你真的有病 Another lie. You have a sickness.
罗斯 我想... Ross, just for my own peace of mind...
你没娶我们其他人吧？ you're not married to any more of us, are you?
老友记 第六季 第五集
有人掉了钥匙... Oh, hey, someone left their keys.
是保时捷 Ooh, to a Porsche.
- 阿甘 这是你的吗？ - 是啊 我开保时捷 - Hey, Gunther, are these yours? - Yeah. That's what I drive.
我时薪4块钱 存了350年 I make 4 bucks an hour. I saved up for 350 years.
唔 Uh-uh.
有人掉了钥匙吗？ Hey, did anybody lose their keys?
你可以放进失物招领箱 Why don't you put them in the lost and found?
这里有失物招领箱？ There's a lost and found?
我的鞋子 My shoe!
你掉了一只鞋在这里？ You left a shoe here?
我回到家才发现 Well, I didn't realize till I got home.
我才不要光着一只脚再回来 I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe.
我要去找那辆车 然后留言 I'm gonna go find that guy's car and leave a note on the windshield.
等他来了我会把你的鞋子给他 Oh, good. When he comes back for his keys, I'll be sure to give him your shoe.
太好了 谢谢 Great. Thanks.
太好了 你们在这里 Oh, good, good. You guys are here. Listen.
明天要不要一起照顾 How would you like to spend tomorrow...
三只超可爱的小狗？ taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?
好棒喔 听起来好好玩 Oh, my God. What a fun day. That sounds great.
好吧 Yeah, all right.
好 我明早带他们过来 Okay, well, I'll bring them by tomorrow morning.
对了 其实不是小狗 Okay, and by the way, they're not actually puppies.
是法兰克的三胞胎 好 再见 They're Frank and Alice's triplets. Okay, see you.
什么？ Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
拜托... Please, please, please? Frank and Alice...
他们托我带小孩 我好紧张 我没有一个人带过小孩 asked me to babysit the triplets. I'm nervous. I've never done that by myself.
放心 我们一定会帮忙 Don't worry about it, Phoebe. We'll do it.
我就不了 是狗狗时我就很犹豫了 Yeah, I'm gonna pass, because I was kind of iffy when it was puppies.
好啦 这是练习的好机会... Come on, Chandler. Come on, it'll give us great practice for when...
总会有客人带小孩来 people with babies come to visit.
好车 Nice car.
不是我的 Yeah, it's, uh... It's not mine.
- 我喜欢你的车 - 它是... 我的 - I love your car. - Yeah. It's mine.
- 一定很能跑 - 我想也是 - I bet it's fast. - Me too. Yeah.
而且很舒服 And comfortable.
- 你喜欢皮椅吗？ - 喜欢 - Do you, uh, like leather seats? - Yeah.
它有皮椅 It's got them.
这里还有我的东西 So I still have boxes here.
罗斯家也有我的东西 I still have boxes at Ross'.
而我却没地方住 And I have nowhere to live.
我现在应该要抓狂才对 Wow, I could so easily freak out right now.
那我呢？ What about me?
我刚发现 狄妮丝要出远门 我没室友了 I just found out Denise is leaving town for a while. I don't have a roommate.
也许我可以当你的室友 Well, maybe I could be your roommate, Pheebs.
也许你可以当我的室友 Maybe you could be my roommate.
- 有办法了 - 没错 - Well, there's an idea. - Yeah.
- 太好了 - 哦 - That would be great. - Oh.
- 狄妮丝要去多久？ - 她说她12月26日回来 - Wait, how long is Denise gone for? - Um, she said she'd be back December 26th.
12月26日 Oh! December 26th.
也许她是圣诞老公公 Heh, maybe she's Santa Claus.
看 是我老公 我的心肝宝贝 Oh, look who it is. My husband, the apple of my eye.
我已经约好明天2点出庭 Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2...
表格也都拿了 and I picked up all the forms.
我会搞定 I'll take care of everything.
当然 既然你说你会搞定 Sure, if you say you're gonna take care of everything...
我当然没理由怀疑你 I have no reason to doubt you.
拿来啦 Give me those forms.
我要照我的方式去做 你不准叽叽歪歪 All right, now, I'm gonna do this my way, and I don't wanna hear a peep out of you.
- 好 但是... - 你在叽叽歪歪喔 - Okay, Rach, but... - Ah, you're peeping.
你知道吗？我实在是... Ross, you know what? I just got...
- 你为什么要这样？ - 我说过... - Why? Why did you do this? - Look, I told you...
我不想听三次失败的婚姻 I don't wanna hear "three failed marriages."
如果你失败过两次就会了解了 Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand.
多亏你 我现在只差一次 Well, you know what? Thanks to you, I'm halfway there.
哦 Oh.
我快气死了 我从来没有这么气过 Oh, I am so mad, Ross. I don't think I've ever been this angry.
我说我们分手了那次呢？ What about the time I said we were on a break?
哦 Oh.
菲比 你那边怎样？ Pheebs, how's it going?
还好 蛮不错的 你觉得他们开心吗？我讲话太快了吗？ I'm doing okay. Do you think they're having fun? Am I talking too fast?
不会 跟我差不多 No. You sound like me.
一切都很好 你看钱德和小女生钱德 It's going great. Look at Chandler with Little Baby Girl Chandler.
小女生钱德 我在哪里听过？对了 鲁本教练 Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have I heard that before? Oh, right, Coach Rubin.
菲比 You know what, Pheebs?
等你那边忙完 我们这里也有状况 When you're done over there, we've got a kind of situation over here too.
不行 自己的小孩自己顾 Uh-uh. No. We are all responsible for our own babies.
那你就错了 我们一直采取人盯人战术 See, that's where I think you're wrong. We've been playing them man-to-man.
但我们应该打区域联防 We should really be playing a zone defense.
什么意思？ What do you mean?
我觉得分工会比较顺畅 I just think things will go smoother...
菲比 你可以负责擦屁屁 if we each have our own zone, you know? Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping.
摩妮卡 你负责包尿布 And, Mon, you can be in charge of diapering.
我就负责看他们捉着我的手... And I can be in charge of looking at how cute they are when they put their hands...
好主意 也许你才应该擦屁屁 That sounds really great, but you should be in charge of wiping.
我是菜鸟 不该守球门区 Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
真好 Wow, this is so great.
餐厅都这样准备餐点的 This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
是吗？我可不是点这个 Yeah? Well, this is not what I ordered.
- 大家好 - 嘿 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
宝宝们好 Hey, babies.
早上真过瘾 I'm having the best morning.
那辆保时捷还在 That, uh, Porsche I've got the keys to? Still there.
不会吧 毕竟钥匙在你手上 Shocking, since you still have the keys.
你应该看看大家对我的态度 You should see the treatment I get when I'm with that car.
每个人都很友善 找我聊天 而且不只是聊车子 People are friendly. They wanna talk. And not just about the car.
还有人教我投资策略 One guy advised me on my equity investments.
什么投资？ What equity investments?
赚到保时捷的股票投资 你跟上好吗？ The ones that got me the Porsche. Will you keep up?
但要是我光杵在那里 I figured, if people keep seeing me just standing there...
别人会觉得那不是我的车 they're gonna start to think I don't own it.
所以我要洗车 摩妮卡 你有水桶和肥皂吗？ So I figure I'll wash it, right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap?
有 我有肥皂 海绵 Oh, yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags...
抹布 亮光腊和打腊工具组 and carnauba wax and polishing compound.
你根本没有车 You don't even have a car.
对 但楼下停过一辆很脏的车 I know. But one time there was this dirty car parked in front of the building...
我就把它给洗了 so I washed it.
- 还有呢？ - 还有另外六辆 - And? - And six others.
这就对了 There you are.
- 它可以飚到130 - 哇 - Yeah, she tops out at 130. - Wow.
这还是市内 到了城外可以开到160 And that's just in the city. I get her up to 160 upstate.
是吗？你在城外有房子？ Really? You got a place upstate?
当然 Sure.
- 改天见 - 好 慢走 - Well, I'll see you later. - Okay. Take it easy.
喂？那是我的车 Hey. That's my car.
是吗？ Really? Oh, uh...
再给我五分钟 Just give me five more minutes.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
我捡到钥匙 现在在帮它打腊 Well, I found the keys, and now I'm just polishing her up.
- 但这是我的车 - 这是我的腊 - But it's my car. - Yeah, but it's my wax.
听着 我很少进市区 Listen, I don't come to the city much.
我不知道你是疯子 还是在演街头剧 And I don't know if you're crazy or if this is some kind of street theater...
但请把钥匙还给我 but could I have my keys?
拿去 我帮你占车位 Sure. Yeah. I'll save your parking spot.
我不回来了 I'm not coming back.
- 为什么？ - 我住在城外 - Why not? - I live upstate.
是啊 我本来也是 Yeah, so did I.
我之前不晓得在紧张什么 I don't know why I was so nervous about this...
法兰克他们为什么会抱怨 带孩子太容易了 and I don't know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is easy.
是啊 两小时和一辈子一样 Yeah, two hours, a lifetime, that's the same.
你们看 宝宝醒来后... Check it out. Check it out. When the babies wake up...
可以认识克洛格 they can meet Krog.
你在干什么？那个东西会害人 What are you doing? That thing could put someone's eye out.
不只 他还能毁灭宇宙 He can do more than that. He can destroy the universe.
不 宝宝可能会误食那些零件 No, Chandler, they could swallow one of those little parts.
而且那个光滑的部位 会误导他们 And also, look at his smooth area. That's just gonna mess them up.
他们才不会误食什么 你们这叫保护过度 They're not gonna swallow anything. You're too overprotective.
我小时候 我妈都把我扔在碎玻璃堆里 When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass.
- 什么？ - 玻璃 沙子 还不都一样嘛 - What? - Glass, sand, whatever.
小莱丝莉边睡边伸懒腰 Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
好可爱喔 Oh, it's so cute.
不知道要到几岁 才没办法把腿举到头上 I wonder what age it is when you stop putting both legs behind your head.
我现在还是可以 Oh, I can still do that.
你怎么会还没结婚？ How are you still single?
好吧 我想或许你们说得对 All right, ahem. I thought about it, and maybe you're right.
或许克洛格不够安全 Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
- 你为什么改口了？ - 我吞了音波死光枪 - Good. What made you change your mind? - I swallowed his sonic blaster gun.
怎么会这样？ How did that happen?
我想证明我是对的 Well, I was trying to prove that I was right, you know?
结果我错了 And it turns out I was wrong...
现在它卡在我的喉咙里 and now it's lodged in my throat.
真是的 我们光顾着带小孩 Damn it, this whole time we were concentrating on the babies...
都忘了要看着钱德 and no one was watching Chandler.
两位要申请注销婚姻？ Okay, you two are asking the court for an annulment?
是的 申请表都填好了 Yes, Your Honor. And here are our forms, all filled out.
根据申请书所言 So based on your petition...
你申请注销的理由是 you are seeking an annulment on the grounds...
盖勒先生的精神状况不稳定 that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable."
好 我精神状况不稳定 Fine. I'm mentally unstable.
而且他使用静脉注射毒品 And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller is an intravenous drug user."
- 什么？ - 是的 海洛因与快克 - What? - Uh, yes. Heroin and crack.
快克根本不是静脉注射毒品 Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.
你当然知道 Well, you would know.
这上面还说... Now, it also says here that you:
你在婚前隐瞒性向 "Lied about your sexual preference before marriage."
- 拜托 - 罗斯 我发现那些杂志了 - Oh, come on. - Ross, please. I found the magazines.
还有你无法履行夫妻间的义务 And, finally, that you were "unable to consummate the marriage."
这也难怪 你是同志 又打海洛因 Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin.
很抱歉 这太夸张了 Okay, you know, I'm sorry, this is insane.
我没有打海洛因 我不是同志 I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem...
我履行什么都没问题 with my ability to consummate anything.
我现在就可以在这里履行 Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now.
没有这个必要 That won't be necessary.
我们交往时简直跟兔子有得拼 And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies.
如果你们曾经认真交往 Now, if you two were involved in a serious relationship,
那就有问题了 that really creates a problem.
大人 我们两年前就分手了 Your Honor, rest assured, that relationship ended two years ago.
可以删掉"跟兔子有得拼"吗 And can you please strike "consummated like bunnies" from the record.
这份申请书有任何实言吗？ Is there anything in this record that is actually true?
有 我们确实在赌城结婚 Uh, well, yes. We got married in Vegas.
名字应该也没错 And, uh, the names, I think.
从刚才的话听来 Well, based on what I've heard...
两位不符合注销资格 you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment.
如果你们不想在一起 就必须办理离婚 If you don't wanna be together, you'll have to file for divorce.
太好了 你高兴了吗？都是你的搞笑表格害的 That's great. You happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form.
我？你那句跟兔子有得拼呢？ What? Me? What about you and your "consummated like bunnies" nonsense?
那... 你打什么打？ And what...? What are you typing that for?
你听到没？我们不能办注销了 She already said we don't get the annulment.
不要打 Don't type that. What...?
别再打了 Stop typing. Hey.
别再打了 Stop typing.
别打了 别打了 Stop typing, "stop typing."
你看你让我嫁的是什么人？ Okay, okay, do you see what you're keeping me married to?
请两位离开我的办公室 You need to get out of my chambers.
好 你给我听着 All right, lady, here's the deal.
我是来办注销的 没办成我绝对不走 I came here for an annulment, and I'm not leaving here until I get one.
- 你们想在牢里过夜吗？ - 耽误您了 - Would you like to spend the night in jail? - Thank you for your time.
保时捷的主人把车开走了 That Porsche guy took his car back.
但你捡到他的衣橱钥匙？ But you found the keys to his clothes?
不是 我只是喜欢 No, I just, uh...
大家以为我有保时捷的感觉 I love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
你穿这样别人就会以为你有？ People would think you own a Porsche because of the clothes?
那当然 Of course.
白痴才会没车还穿成这样 Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car.
那倒是 That is true.
不过只有天才 才会误食音波死光枪 Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
我也误食过 Oh, I've been there.
我要去开我的保时捷了 I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
乔伊 你知道你没有保时捷吧 Joey, you know you don't actually have one.
拜托 你搞什么？我正在入戏 你说说她 好吗 Come on. What are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her?
它动了 现在真的好刺 Ah, I think it just moved. It's really poking me.
够了 我们去挂急诊 That's it. We're going to the emergency room.
什么？你们不能把我扔给他们 我们正在带孩子 What? No, you can't leave me here with them. We're babysitting.
宝宝都睡了 你撑一下一定没问题 The babies are asleep. I'm sure you'll be okay on your own.
但你们不能把我扔给他们 But you can't leave me with them. We're a team.
我们是一队的 在打区域联防 他们会以三打一 We're playing a zone. They're gonna triple-team me.
他的喉咙卡了个塑胶玩具 我们非去医院不可 He's got something plastic in his throat. We gotta go to the hospital.
但医生也帮不了他 But, no, because a doctor won't be able to help him. And it's just gonna, you know...
反正过个7年就会自动排出 naturally pass through his system in, like, seven years.
- 那是口香糖 - 我确定是死光枪 - I think that's gum. - I'm pretty sure it's gun.
真的很痛 我们走吧 Okay, listen, this really hurts. Let's go.
男子汉才不会冲去医院 But no. A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital.
克洛格会怎么做？ No. What would Krog do?
泊车小弟怎么还没 把我的保时捷开来？ Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
因为钥匙在你手上吗？ Maybe because you've got the keys?
- 都是你的错 - 我的错？你威胁法官 - That was totally your fault. - My fault? You threatened the judge.
你把书记员的打字纸撕下来 Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine.
那样才能阻止他打下去 That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
哦 Oh.
盖勒夫妇好吗？ Hi. How are the Gellers?
不准那样叫我们 Don't call us that.
法官不准我们办注销 我们得去办离婚 The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment. Now we gotta get a divorce.
你被保捷附身了吗？ Did a Porsche throw up on you?
嘿 Hey.
是保时捷 It's "Porsche."
我完全可以照顾你们对吧？ Me taking care of you is no problem, huh?
你们觉得很安心吧？ You guys feel safe, right?
吐泡泡就表示"安心" Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as a "Yeah, I do."
我扔了脏尿布 就帮你换一块干净的 Let's get rid of this dirty diaper, Leslie. I'll set you up with a nice clean one.
抱歉 我不是故意的 我得先清理一下 Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up, okay?
这是摩妮卡的家 Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's.
破了 反正东西迟早都会坏 I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way things go.
好 就这样 Okay. Good.
为什么只剩两个？ Why are there only two of you?
莱丝莉呢？ Where's Leslie?
你们不会说话 莱丝莉？你在哪里？ Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you, Leslie?
莱丝莉 现在是开口说话的好时机 Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words.
你看看你 Well, look at you.
嘿 Hey.
你真是个小顽皮 You are a little bit mischievous. My gosh.
是非常皮 Oh, you're a lot mischievous.
反正会干 Well, it'll dry.
去跟哥哥妹妹躺在一起... Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now...
他们不在 who aren't there.
- 嘿 - 你还好吗？ - Hey. - How do you feel?
再过12到14小时 Well, let's just say that Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again...
克洛格就又能毁灭宇宙了 in 12 to 14 hours.
我一个人把孩子都带好了 Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself.
喂奶 洗澡 哄他们睡觉 I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed.
还保护他们躲过龙卷风？ And protected them from a tornado?
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
对啊 宝宝都睡了 I know. The babies are asleep.
菲比 家里是怎么了？ Phoebe, what happened here?
我做到了 我一个人照顾宝宝 I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself.
- 但是我的房子 - 是菲比胜利的战场 - But my apartment. - Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
但是这儿乱的 But the mess.
比起菲比的辛劳实在不算什么 Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
你说得对 我不该大惊小怪 You're right. You're right, I shouldn't freak out.
等我们有了孩子也会这样 This is what it's gonna be like when we have babies.
那是什么时候呢？ When will that be?
菲比 你看你弄得多乱 Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess?
亲爱的 你总算回来了 我都开始担心了 Oh, honey, thank God you're home. I was getting worried.
我去领了离婚证书 I picked up the divorce papers.
该签的我都签了 Uh, I've already signed everything.
你要签的地方我也打了勾 And I put little X's where you need to sign.
打勾 真好 这样就前嫌尽释了 Oh, little X's. Great. That makes up for everything.
我... 你也干过很多蠢事好吗 You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too, okay?
有哪一件跟这次一样蠢 Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one.
你飞去伦敦阻止我结婚怎么说 Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding?
我已经结婚了 你还说你爱我 How about you told me you loved me after I was married?
慢着 那不一样 Wait a minute, that was different.
我做那些事是因为我爱你 I did those things because I was in love with you.
正是 Yeah. Right.
你说得对 的确很不一样 You're right. That's very different.
总之赶快签吧 So let's just sign the papers.
- 怎样？ - 没事 - What? - Nothing.
请签名 Okay, can we just sign, please?
嗯 Mm-hm.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
罗斯 等一下 Okay, wait, Ross. Wait a minute. Um...
我有件事要坦白 I, uh, kind of have a little confession.
什么事？ What?
结婚这件事 Uh, well, you know, this whole marriage thing.
算是我的主意 Kind of my idea.
什么？ Excuse me?
我们不是醉到... Remember how we were too drunk to remember anything...
什么都想不起来？ the night we were married?
怎样？ Yeah?
我很不想说 And yeah, I didn't really wanna say anything...
但是我的记忆回来了 but it just kind of kept coming back to me.
记不记得我们在赌场 Um, remember, we were in the casino...
你突然觉得狂吃葡萄会很好玩 and for some reason, you thought it'd be funny to eat a lot of grapes.
然后我觉得我们结婚会更好玩 And I thought it would be funnier if we got married.
于是我们折衷 先去结婚 So, ahem, as a compromise, we decided first to get married and then...
- 再去吃很多葡萄 - 再去吃很多葡萄 - to eat a lot of grapes. - To eat a lot of grapes.
所以... So, um...
抱歉惹出这些麻烦 Sorry I got us into this whole thing.
所以仔细想想 So then, I mean, if you think about it...
这一切都是你的错 this is all your fault.
不要得寸进尺 Yeah, don't push it, though.
我知道... I gotta say...
我跟很多人离过婚 I know I divorce a lot of women.
却从来没想过会跟你离婚 Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
是啊 I know.
我总觉得要是我们结婚 一定会天长地久 I always thought if you and I got married, that would be the one that stuck.
不会是秘密结婚 And it wouldn't be a secret...
也不会在必胜客吃酒席 and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut.
我有请客吗？ Did I even treat?
没有 那是免费的 新婚夫妇特权 No, it was on the house. It was a newlywed special.
我没听过这么令人沮丧的事 That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life.
我去律师那里送件 Well, I should probably get these to my lawyer's office.
谢谢你把事情都办妥 Hey, thanks, Ross, for taking care of all this.
- 不客气 - 是啊 - Ah, no problem. - Yeah.
- 我要份副本 - 没问题 - I'm gonna need a copy of those. - Totally.
好 Yeah.
别在我的保时捷旁边乱跑 Hey, hey, hey. Careful around my Porsche.
- 乔伊 - 嘿 - Hi, Joey. - Hey.
你们好吗？ How you doing?
他有一辆最拉风的保时捷 He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
我很想给你们看 但我刚哄到她睡着 I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.
要不要去喝杯酒？ Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?