你们猜怎样？ Hey, you guys, guess what?
巴瑞和敏蒂要离婚了 Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.
天哪 你是怎么搞的？ What is the matter with you?
不 是巴瑞和敏蒂 No. Barry and Mindy.
对不起 我一听到离婚就觉得是罗斯 Oh, sorry. I hear "divorce," I immediately go to Ross. Heh.
谁是巴瑞和敏蒂？ Who's Barry and Mindy?
巴瑞是我差点要嫁的人 敏蒂是我最要好的朋友 Barry was the guy I almost married, and Mindy was my best friend.
他们不是有一腿？ Wasn't he cheating on you with her?
对 但那只表示他做到一半 会在她身上睡着 That just means he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
要是我真的嫁给他 我的人生会多么不同 Can you imagine if I'd married him? How different would my life be?
我懂你的意思 我总是在想 I know. I've always wondered how different life would be...
要是我没有离婚会怎样 if I'd never gotten divorced.
- 哪次？ - 第一次啦 - Which time? - The first time!
真的 要是卡萝没发现 她是同性恋 Imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian.
我无法想像 我老是往好的方面去想 I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.
那我一定还在练控手道 I bet I'd still be doing my karate.
后来我经常练控手道 Towards the end of our marriage, I did karate as a way of releasing the tension...
好发泄缺乏肉体运动的精力 from, you know, not doing anything else physical.
也许你不把空手道 念成控手道就没事了 Maybe the problem was pronouncing it "ka-ra-tay."
如果我还是很胖呢？ What if I was still fat?
你一定不会跟我交往 You wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure.
当然会 少来了 Sure I would.
你们真的觉得我那么肤浅？ What? You guys think I'm that shallow?
不 我只是觉得摩妮卡太胖 No, I think Monica was that fat.
要是我没被 《我们的日子》开除呢？ Hey, imagine if I'd never gotten fired off Days of Our Lives.
卡萝又出现了 Hey. Hey, there's Carol again.
要是我有勇气辞职呢？ What if I had had the guts to quit my job?
我可能在帮《纽约客》写稿 拿钱搞笑 I'd probably be writing for The New Yorker, being paid to be funny.
现在的工作也很有趣 But my job's fun too. I mean, tomorrow...
明天我不必打领带 I don't have to wear a tie.
要是我去美林证券上班呢？ What if I'd taken that job at Merrill Lynch?
- 什么？ - 美林证券？ - What? - Merrill Lynch?
对 我有个客人在那里上班 他说我有炒股票的头脑 A massage client who worked there said I had a knack for stocks.
那你怎么不去？ Why didn't you take it?
因为当时我很相信押韵这回事 At that time, you see, I thought that everything that rhymed was true.
我觉得要是我去做股票 就得住地窖 So I thought if I worked with stocks...
只能吃安眠药 养三脚猫 I'd have to live in a box and only eat lox and have a pet fox.
你们觉得如果有这些事 我们还会在一起吗？ Do you think if all those things happened, we'd still hang out?
老友记 第六季 第十五集
天哪 瑞秋葛林？ Oh, my God. Rachel Green?
劳勃提尔曼 Aah! Rob Tilman!
不对 是我 罗斯 No, heh, no, it's me. Ross.
对不起 罗斯提尔曼 Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.
- 不是 是罗斯盖勒 - 也对 摩妮卡的哥哥 - No. No, no. Ross Geller. - Of course! Monica's brother.
- 没错 - 你好吗 - Yeah. Right. - Wow! How are you?
- 很好 我结婚了 - 我也是 - Good. Good, I'm married. - Oh! Me too! Ha, ha.
- 结婚真好不是吗？ - 就是啊 - Isn't it the best? - Oh, it's the best. Heh.
- 摩妮卡好吗？ - 非常好 - So, um, how's Monica? - Really, really great.
事实上她就在前面 你应该过去打个招呼 Actually, she's right down the street. Um, you should stop by and say hi.
- 好啊 - 她会很高兴 - Oh, I would love to. - Yeah, she'd be so excited.
- 好 - 走吧 - Oh, okay. - Come on.
等等 你不是要买... Wait, don't you have to pay for...
《巨乳女郎》？ Busty Ladies?
没关系 有个小孩托我帮他买 No, that's okay. Some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I...
（中央咖啡厅）
摩妮卡 你还在跟无聊医生交往？ So, Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring, huh?
他才不无聊 他只是... He's not boring. He's just...
只是比较低调 He's just low-key.
- 你的榛果拿铁 - 谢谢 - Here you go, one hazelnut latte. - Thank you.
其实榛果不是果实 You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut.
而是种籽 It's a seed.
哇 Wow.
还有谁能说出一种 假装是果实的常见种籽？ Can anyone else name a well-known seed that's been masquerading as a nut?
天哪 我想想看 Oh, dear God. Let me think.
嘿 Hey.
你怎么了？ Oh, no. What's the matter?
我又被退稿了 I got another rejection letter.
他们说我的东西很有趣 只是不符合《阿奇漫画》风 They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
亲爱的 我得回医院了 I gotta get back to the hospital.
- 好 - 好 - All right. - Okay.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye-bye.
对了 答案是巴西果 Oh, uh, by the way, the answer is the Brazil nut.
他的问题比他的人更无趣 Was his question, "What's more boring than him?"
老兄 退稿的事真可惜 Hey, man. Sorry about that Archie thing.
你要我给你一些钱吗？ You, uh, need me to give you some money?
我穷归穷 还是有骨气 Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
是吗？ Really?
嗯 Eh.
也许乔伊不必给你钱 Joey doesn't have to give you money.
- 电视明星都有助理对吧？ - 可行喔 - TV stars have assistants, right? - That's an idea.
要是我请助理转交 你会收吗？ If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her?
不是啦 钱德可以当你的助理 No, Joey. Chandler could be your assistant.
他可以帮你回信给影迷 He could answer your fan mail and stuff.
太好了 好主意 就这么办吧 That would be great! Let's do that!
我有钱领 还有时间写作 I could use the money. Give me time to write.
- 漂亮 欢迎加入 - 感谢 - Great! Welcome aboard. - Okay!
我现在要去上厕所 All right. I need to use the bathroom.
我上厕所不用人帮 你就休息吧 Since I don't need assistance in there, take a break!
好 All right.
- 嘿 - 嘿 菲比 - Hey. - Hey, Phoebe.
- 你猜怎样？ - 怎样？ - Guess what? - What?
乔伊找钱德当他的助理 Joey just hired Chandler.
真好 Oh, that's so sweet.
等一下 Oh! Hang on!
等我一下 Hang on!
说 Go!
不对 不对 我是说一到50点就卖 No. No, no. I said sell when it hits 50!
50是一个数字 在49后面 Five-oh! It's a number! It comes after four-nine!
没关系 一次错误可以接受 No, it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed one mistake.
开玩笑的 你当然被开除了 Just kidding. You are of course fired.
呃 Ugh.
- 嘿 摩妮卡 - 嘿 - Hey, Mon? - Hey.
摩妮卡 你看我遇见谁 Mon, look who I ran into.
天哪 瑞秋 Oh, my God, Rachel!
- 你好漂亮 - 你也是 - God, you look terrific! - Oh, so do you!
谢谢 Thanks.
- 你是不是瘦了？ - 你居然注意到了 - Did you lose weight? - You are so sweet to notice.
没错 我瘦了三磅半 Yes, I lost 3 and a half pounds.
啊 Ah!
- 记得我的朋友钱德吧 - 嗨 - You remember my friend Chandler? - Hi.
- 那位是菲比 - 嗨 - And that's Phoebe. - Hi.
天哪 快坐下 我们多久没见面了？ Sit down. Sit down. How long's it been since we've seen each other?
1987年 圣诞节第二天 西 巴麦克曼的派对 1987, the day after Christmas. Uh, Sean McMahan's party.
我弹了我的创作曲给你听 《星际求爱仪式》 I played you one of my songs. "Interplanetary Courtship Ritual."
喔 对 Oh, yeah. Right.
- 你还在玩音乐吗？ - 偶尔 - So, now, do you still do music? - Well, sometimes.
- 你应该来我家 我弹... - 天啊 - Sometime I'll play you... - Oh, my God!
《我们的日子》的乔伊崔比亚尼刚刚走进来 Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives just walked in here!
瑞秋 他是我们的朋友 Rach, he's a friend of ours.
你们是雷莫瑞医生的朋友？ You are friends with Dr. Drake Ramoray?
要跟他交朋友有点难 因为他很忙 It's hard to be friends with Drake...
又是个虚构人物 because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real.
我也可以把键盘带来 Hey, or I could bring my keyboard here sometime.
- 他过来了 - 乔伊 - He's coming over. - Joey?
好啦 拿去 I know. Here, here.
不是啦 Oh.
不是啦 这是我朋友瑞秋 我们是高中同学 No. This is my friend Rachel. We went to high school together.
- 哈 哈 嗨 - 嗨 - Ha, ha, hi. - Hi.
我 I...
我好喜欢你演的戏 I love you on that show.
- 哦 - 我每天都看 - Oh. - I watch you every day.
你的前妻明明想杀你 When you took out your kidney to save your ex-wife...
你还捐肾救她... even though she tried to kill you...
遇见影迷总是很开心 It's always nice to meet fans.
- 她不会很神经吧？ - 不会 - She's not crazy, is she? - No.
所以...你好吗？ So, uh, how you doing?
等等... Hang on.
等等 等一下 Hang on. Hang on.
说 Go!
谁？ Who's this?
好 你要替我工作 你叫什么名字？ Oh, you're gonna like working for me.
布伦蒂是什么鸟名字？ What's your name? What kind of name is Brindy?
我...随便... I... Uh, whatever.
闭嘴 Stop talking.
好 以后你就叫琼安 All right, from now on your name is Joan.
姓你自己选 You can pick your own last name.
- 你在这里 - 是老板大人 - Hey, there you are. - Uh-oh, it's my boss.
这是你今天的工作项目 All right, here's a list of things for you to do today.
太好了 谢谢你 This is gonna be so great. Thank you so much.
我要去接生双胞胎了 但只有一个是我的骨肉 I gotta go to work. I'm delivering twins, but only one of them is mine.
"把衣服送去干洗 去拿我的维他命" "Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins."
教我怎么写维他命 Teach me how to spell vitamins.
把我的新牛仔裤穿软 "Wear in my new jeans."
- 你知道你的角色吧？ - 什么角色？ - You realize what you are, don't you? - What?
你是他的喽罗 You're his bitch.
不 不 No, no! No!
你不是压坏了我的巧克力酥吧 Wait! You didn't sit on my Kit Kats did you?
不是 市场出了点变化 No, there was a little, little dip in the market...
我损失了1千3百万 and I lost $13 million.
不过巧克力酥没事吧？ But the Kit Kats are all right?
怎么办？怎么办？通知公司我会被砍死 What am I gonna do? I can't call my office, they'll kill me.
通知客户 他们会砍自己 I can't call my clients, they'll kill themselves!
- 好吧 现在又胸口痛 - 什么？ - All right, now my chest hurts. - What?
我的胸口在痛 My chest hurts. Ugh.
- 现在是喘不过气来 - 菲比 你是心脏病发作吗？ - Ugh! And now, I can't breathe. - Are you having a heart attack?
如果是 左臂会来回抽痛吗？ If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
- 会 - 那就是了 - Yes. - Then, yes. That is what I'm having.
我的天哪 Oh, my God!
别这样 没那么严重 Come on, Pheebs, it's not that bad.
一般人如果可以休息两星期 会放鞭炮庆祝 Most people'd be excited if they didn't work for a couple weeks.
一般人不喜欢他们的工作 我喜欢我的工作 Most people don't like their jobs. I love my job.
我才休息3小时就快疯掉了 I've been not working for three hours, and I'm already going crazy.
我想念琼安 I miss Joan.
心脏病发就表示你该放慢脚步 Honey, a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
我一直以为心脏病发 就表示你要死了 I always thought it was nature's way of telling you to die. Heh.
但是你不会死 You're not gonna die.
你迟早会死 但不是今天 I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today.
我去死算了 I wish I was dead.
我们去走走 Let's take a walk.
你应该考虑去替"讲话不经大脑"杂志写稿 You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.
你最近怎么样？ So what's going on with you?
我练控手道练得更勤了 Well, um, I've been doing a lot more of my karate.
- 跟卡萝还是爱理不理？ - 对 - Still a dry spell with Carol? - Yeah.
你们多久没上床了？ How long has it been since you've had sex?
- 到上个周末... - 那还好嘛 - Well, last weekend... - That's not so bad.
就已经2个月... will be two months...
放弃尝试了 since I stopped trying.
也许你应该玩点刺激的 You need to spice things up.
- 怎么说？ - 不晓得 - What do you mean? - I don't know.
你们可以绑住对方 可以在对方身上吃东西 You could tie her up. You could eat stuff off each other.
噢 Oh.
- 淫言秽语 3P 辅助工具 - 哇 - Dirty talk, menage a trois, toys. - Wow.
角色扮演 你当典狱长她当囚犯 Role-playing. You're warden, she's prisoner.
- 你当海盗她当村姑 - 好 我懂了 - You're the pirate, she's the wench. - Okay, I think I got it.
或者你们都当股票经纪人 裸体 在交易大厅的地板上翻滚 You could be two stockbrokers, rolling naked on the trading floor...
给大家看 and everybody's watching.
我没干过 It never happened.
那里是布瑞帝酒吧 And over there is Brady's Pub...
我行完医喜欢去轻松一下 where I unwind after a long day of "surgeoning."
好棒喔 还有呢？ Wow! This is so amazing. What else?
那是一个大型电视台设备 Well, that is a large piece of television equipment.
那是一个老男人 And, uh, that is an old man.
- 老男人 - 你好 - Hey, old man! - Hey.
我们要不要回我家去？ Alrighty. What do you say we head back to my place?
我很想去 但是不行 Well, wow. Um, you know, I would really love to, but I shouldn't.
为什么？为什么世界不能停止转动 Why? Why can't the world stop turning?
只要一下下 只为了我们？ Just for a moment. Just for us.
那不是戏里的台词吗？ Isn't that a line from the show?
对 不过 Uh, yeah, but, uh...
我或许说过同样的话 但是... I may have said those things before, but...
只有这一刻 我才是真心的 I never truly meant them until now.
那也是戏里的台词 That's a line from the show too!
你看太多电视了 Okay, you watch too much TV.
乔伊 现榨的柳橙汁来了 Joe, here's the freshly-squeezed orange juice you asked for.
- 谢谢 - 嗨 - Thanks. - Hi.
里面有果肉 Yeah, there's pulp in that.
- 怎样？ - 嗯 - Yeah? - Heh.
我们不是讲过了 我不喜欢果肉 I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp.
不要果肉 果肉不是果汁 我要纯果汁 No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice. Okay?
对不起 我就是喜欢果肉 I'm sorry. I guess I just like the pulp.
天哪 抱歉 我太不客气了 God, I'm sorry. I am being so rude.
瑞秋 你要喝汽水什么的吗？ Rachel, would you like a soda or something?
钱德会马上去帮你买 Because Chandler will run right out and get it.
好啊 就冰红茶吧 Yeah, well, sure, iced tea would be great.
冰红茶 Iced tea.
好 那您要什么？ Okay. Anything for you, sir?
我刚才不是说了吗？ Did I not just tell him?
钱德 你想替我工作 Okay, look, Chandler, if this is gonna work...
就要专心听我说话 you have got to listen.
你要拿果汁泼我对不对？ You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't you?
这不是纯果汁 It's not all juice.
老婆 早上我在淋浴间扑向你 Honey, this morning was fun, huh?
很有意思吧？ Me hopping in on you in the shower there?
是啊 也许以后可以换一栋 有两间浴室的房子 Yeah, maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
卡萝 我在想 或许 Look, Carol, um, I was thinking maybe...
或许我们可以玩一点刺激的 maybe we can spice things up a little.
- 怎么说？ - 卡萝 我们的性生活不美... - What do you mean? - Carol, our sex life. It's just not...
- 爸 - 小鬼头 - Dad! - Hey there, little fella!
你要不要去穿鞋鞋？ Hey, why don't we get some shoes on you?
自己去房里穿鞋鞋给爸爸看 Show Dad how you put your shoes on in your room.
说真的 我们的性生活... Seriously, our sex life.
我想说或许... I was thinking maybe, I don't know...
我们可以换个新花样玩玩 we could try some new things, you know, for fun.
- 像什么？ - 我不知道 - Like what? - Well, I don't know. Um...
互相把对方 What if we, uh, were to...
绑起来如何？ tie each other up?
有些人会在对方身上吃东西 Um, some people eat stuff off one another.
不好 Yeah.
我们可以说脏话助长情趣 Um, you know, we could try dirty talk. Uh, heh.
- 我们可以玩3P - 这个我喜欢 - Um, we could have a threesome. - I love that idea!
谁的故事 被《阿奇漫画》采用了？ Who sold a story to Archie Comics?
天哪 太棒了 Oh, my God, that's so great. Oh, wow!
你有著作了 真想送你贺礼 You're a published writer. I wish I had a present.
- 啊 - 等等 - Aw. - Wait a minute.
我的最后一个巧克力酥 My last Kit Kat bar.
- 要不要跟我分？ - 好啊 - You want to share it? - Okay!
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
钱德 我知道你很生气 我想跟你道歉 Chandler, I know you're mad. I'm sorry.
我太混蛋 太超过了 I was a total jerk. Completely over the line.
但我就是讨厌果肉 I just... I hate pulp.
就像摩妮卡 对低脂美乃滋的成觉 You know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise?
那不是美乃滋 It's not mayonnaise!
总之我只想说对不起 这个给你 Okay, uh, anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and here.
- 什么东西？ - 现榨的柳橙汁 有你喜欢的果肉 - What's this? - Fresh-squeezed orange juice, with pulp.
- 就是你喜欢的 - 谢了 - Just the way you like. - Aw, thanks, man.
乔伊 钱德的故事 被《阿奇漫画》采用了 Hey, Joey? Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics.
天哪 太棒了 恭喜 是什么故事？ Oh, my God, that's great! Congratulations! What's the story?
也没什么 只是个白痴的漫画故事 Oh, you wouldn't care. It's just a stupid comic book story.
开什么玩笑 我最爱阿奇那票人了 Are you kidding me? I love Archie and the whole gang.
阿奇需要钱修他的老爷车 Well, um, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy.
但他不想跟瑞吉拿钱 Uh, but he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money.
所以瑞吉就找他当助... So Reggie hires him as his assist...
当管家 As his butler.
然后叫他做一堆无聊事 And makes him do crazy things...
例如叫他买不能有结块的奶昔 like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps.
等等 有点耳熟喔 Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar.
这个故事画过了吧 我觉得我看过 Did they already do that? I think I read it!
（中央咖啡厅）
摩妮卡 我一定要问 Monica, listen. I have to ask.
乔伊崔比亚尼找我去他家 Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment.
- 他经常找女人去他家吗？ - 对 经常 经常的经常 - Does he do this with a lot of girls? - Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot.
而我是其中之一 Ah! And I'm one of them.
哇 Wow.
我真不敢相信 乔伊崔比亚尼啊 I just cannot believe this. I mean, Joey Tribbiani.
虽然与我无关 但你不是结婚了？ It's none of my business, but aren't you married?
对啊 Yeah.
真希望我们能不结婚一下 I wish we could just not be married for a little bit.
真希望我们能分开一下 You know, I just wish we could be, like, on a break.
你们没有 Well, you're not.
你当然轻松 你又没结婚 爱跟谁上床就跟谁上床 It's easy for you. You get to have sex with whoever you want.
没错 Yeah, I can. Ha.
别以为我没有 Don't think I don't. I do.
我一天到晚都有 I mean, all the time. You bet!
- 摩妮卡 - 嗯？ - Monica? - Hmm?
你有经验了吧？ You've done it, right?
当然有 你以为我是30岁的老处女吗 Of course I have. What do you think, I'm like some 30-year-old virgin?
天哪 你是30岁的老处女 Oh, my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin.
再大声一点 后面那个人应该没听到 Louder. I don't think the guy in the back heard.
我听到了 Yeah, I heard it.
我不是没有机会 It's not like I haven't had the opportunity.
- 我只是在等完美的对象 - 嗯 - I'm waiting for the perfect guy. - Mm-hm.
我正在跟罗杰交往 他并不完美 I'm seeing this guy Roger. He's not perfect...
但是... 或许我应该将就一下 but, uh, I'm thinking maybe I should get it over with.
把我的花芯给他 You know, give him my flower.
天哪 那就给吧 你等得够久了 Oh, my God, do it! Honey, you've waited long enough.
- 你知道吗？你说得对 - 没错 没必要看得那么严重 - You know what? You are right. - Sex does not have to be a big deal.
性爱不该有任何规则和限制 There shouldn't be all these rules and restrictions.
人应该随时随地 想跟谁上... People should be able to sleep with whoever, whenever...
瑞秋 我觉得你不该背叛老公 Rachel. I'm never gonna think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband.
你懂什么 处女 Oh, what do you know, virgin?
菲比 Phoebe?
厕所怎么有烟冒出来？ Why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?
医生说可能会有这种副作用 Oh, yeah. The doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
菲比 把烟熄掉 Put the cigarette out.
不 那不是香烟 烟是从我身上冒出来的 No, it's not a cigarette. The smoke is coming out of me!
- 熄掉 - 好啦 好啦 - Put it out. - Okay, okay!
- 真高兴有你们在 - 躺好 - I'm so glad you're here. - Come on.
- 我来接 - 给我 给我 - I got it. I got it. - Give it to me! Give it!
喂？ Hello?
她现在不方便接电话 No, she can't come to the phone now.
好 没问题 再见 Oh, right. No problem. Okay, bye-bye.
是公司吗？他们生气吗？是杰克吗？他有大呼小叫吗？ Was it work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?
别紧张 没有人大呼小叫 No, just relax. Nobody yelled.
杰克只是打来问你有没有好转 Jack was making sure you were getting better.
谢天谢地 Thank God.
她被开除了 Yeah, she's fired.
你已经尽力了 You've done all you can, Dr. Wesley.
该放手了 You've got to let her go.
别了 好好安息吧 Goodbye and Godspeed, Hope Brady.
且慢 卫斯理 Not so fast, Wesley.
- 雷莫瑞 - 没错 卫斯理 - Ramoray. - That's right, Wesley.
我只是来说 你是个冒牌医生 I just stopped by to say that you're not a real doctor.
那个女人的脑部好得很 And that woman's brain is fine.
太好了 Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God.
- 霍普 霍普 - 是你 - Hope? Hope? - Drake.
霍普 你不会死 You're not dying, Hope.
你会跟我过着幸福快乐的日子 You're gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
哦 德雷克 Oh, Drake.
好 Okay.
我决定了 Here we go.
好 嗯哼 Okay. Ahem.
嗯 Mm.
乔伊 我是瑞秋 Hi, Joey? It's Rachel.
我明天晚上有空 Um, I am free tomorrow night.
没问题 我可以带三明治去 Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.