谢谢你们赶过来 So thanks for coming by, guys.
我们希望你们能帮我们 想一些婚礼上用的点子 We wanted to bounce some ideas off of you about the wedding ceremony.
哦 Oh.
- 怎么了？你还好吗？ - 那只是因为… - What's the matter? Are you okay? - Yeah, it's just...
摩妮卡说了"婚礼" Monica said "wedding."
我们希望你们之中 有人能上台念些感性的文章 Uh, so we wanted to know if one of you would like to read something.
好吧 我想我应该也能胜任 Okay, yeah, I guess I can do that too.
也能胜任？ Too?
我自己想了一个点子 来庆祝你们的婚礼 Yeah, I kind of, ahem, have something else planned for you guys.
- 你能告诉我们是什么点子吗？ - 抱歉 - Do you mind telling us what it is? - Sorry.
我想把它当成是高度机密 I'm kind of keeping this one on the QT.
不管你是指哪个 我希望会有眨眼睛 Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我跟《我日》的编剧谈过… So I talked to one of the DOOL writers...
- 什么是《我日》？ - 《我们的日子》 - What is DOOL? - Days Of Our Lives.
你们一定不相信 我演的角色就要醒过来了 You're not gonna believe it. My character is coming out of his coma!
- 那真的是太棒了 - 哇 乔伊 - That's wonderful. - Wow, Joey.
不只是那个 我会有个新脑子 And not only that. I'm getting a new brain!
你的工作跟私生活 都有了很棒的进展 So great things are happening at work and in your personal life.
你要换个新脑子？ What do you mean you're getting a new brain?
他们要踢走剧中一个角色… They're killing off one of the characters, and when she dies...
将她的脑子移植到我的身体里 ...and her brain is being transplanted into my body.
什么？脑部移植手术？ Heh, what? A brain transplant?
这太可笑了 It's ridiculous.
可笑的是你三个半月没有做过爱 I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months.
现在是冬天 街上的人少了很多 It's winter. There are fewer people on the street.
他们要踢走谁？ Who are they killing off?
西西雅梦露 她饰演洁西卡拉哈特 Uh, Cecilia Monroe. She plays Jessica Lockhart.
-不 - 不 - No! - No!
她最擅长将饮料泼到别人脸上 She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces.
我从来没看过她喝完一杯饮料 I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage.
还有她打人巴掌的样子 你不想那么做吗？ The way she slaps people. Wouldn't you love to do that?
别那么做 Don't do it.
她参与这出戏的演出很久了 And she's been on the show forever.
-要代替她一定很难 - 嗯 - It's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes. - Yeah.
你得帮帮我 Help me out here. When you...
当你做过脑部移植手术后… When you come out of the "brain transplant"...
你要变成她？ ...you are going to be her?
对 她被困在德瑞克的身体里 Yes, but in Drake Ramoray's body.
你为什么就是搞不懂？ 我还以为你是科学家 Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist.
瑞秋 那边那个男的… Rach, so that guy there:
是异性恋还是同性恋？ Straight or gay?
噢 Oh.
他太帅了 不可能是异性恋 Oh, yeah, he's too cute to be straight. Ha, ha.
大波霸小姐会帮我们查个清楚 Ooh, Knockers will help us figure it out.
好了 他是异性恋 All right, straight.
而且一眼就看得出来 And not subtle.
- 他忘了拿手机 - 哦？ - He left his cell phone. - Oh?
我们得把它交给阿甘 放在失物招领处 We could hand it to Gunther, he'll put it in lost and found.
或是用它打电话到中国 看看那些人在做什么 Or we could use it to call China, see how those guys are doing.
如果他打电话来找手机 我接了电话… What if, uh, he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it, and I answer...
我们开始聊天 之后坠入爱河呢？ ...and we start talking and we fell in love?
那是个很棒的故事吧？ Wouldn't that be a great story?
- 就像是数字时代的童话故事 - 耶 - Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age. - Yeah.
那听起来很棒 我要去拿手机 That does sound great. I'm gonna get the phone.
什么？等一下 为什么你会成为故事的女主角？ What? Wait. Why do you get the story?
我已经很久没有约会了 I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
菲比 三天前你才约过会 Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
那不是约会 那只是 朋友聚会 然后做爱 That wasn't a date. That was friends getting together and having sex.
好吧 我去拿手机 Okay. Great. See, I get the phone.
不行 一星期前你才跟泰格分手 No way. You just broke up with Tag a week ago.
对 直到现在 我才明白 我能再爱一次 Yeah, and until now, I didn't think I would love again.
- 说的好 - 等一下 - Nice try. - Hey, wait.
我们该怎么公平地决定 谁能拿走手机呢？ How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
我不知道 I don't know.
好吧 Well, um...
或许我们可以… Maybe we could, uh...
你动作太慢了 Ah-ha! Too slow! Ha-ha-ha.
你太自大了 Ah-ha! Too cocky.
(银杯片厂)
我在跟他约会 你管不了 I'm going to date him. There's nothing you can do.
不 我管得了 Yes, there is.
你打算怎么做？杀了他吗？ 就像你杀了查尔斯？ What, are you going to kill him like you did Charles?
我的宝贝 Oh, my baby.
卡 Cut!
你演得太好了 刚刚那一巴掌 很逼真 你怎么办到的？ That was a great scene. And that slap looked so real. How do you do that?
- 那只是多年的经验 - 快拿冰块过来给我 - Oh, just years of experience. - Can I get some ice here?
我只想说我觉得你的演技很棒 Anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
你该不会是那个快死掉的影迷吧？ You're not the fan who's dying, are you?
我是乔伊崔比亚尼 昨天我们合拍过一场戏 No, uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani. We did a scene together yesterday.
- 我就是那个昏迷的人 - 那是真人？ - I'm the guy in the coma. - Oh, that was a real person?
因为你离开后我要移植你的脑子… I wanted to say, since I'm getting your brain when you leave the show...
- 我在想如果… - 我要离开？ - ...I was wondering if there was any tips... - I'm leaving the show?
我不知道 为什么？你听到了什么？ I don't know, why? Did you hear something?
- 是谁告诉你的？- 那个… - Who told you that? - Oh, uh...
- 编剧之一 - 哪个编剧？是秃头佬还是高个子？ - One of the writers. - Which? Was it bald or was it tall?
那不重要 因为那不是真的 You know, it doesn't matter, because it is not true.
好吧 Okay. Whoo, eh.
如果那是真的 你竟然敢来叫我教你… And if it were true, how dare you come to me and ask me for tips...
该如何饰演我演了二十年的角色 ...about a character I've been playing for 20 years!
梦露小姐…喔 你真的那么做了 Miss Monroe... Oh, there you go.
好吧 听着 我有个点子 Okay, look, I have an idea.
我们为什么不看看 他的速拨键记录了哪些电话号码… Why don't we see what kind of numbers he has on his speed dial?
跟他有最多共通点的人 And then from that, we can tell who has more in common with him...
就可以把手机拿走 ...and whoever does gets the phone.
- 好吧 - 好吧 - Fine. All right. - All right.
- 速拨键的第一个名字是"妈妈" - 哦 - First name on the speed dial is "Mom." - Oh.
喔 我妈妈自杀死了 I lost my mom to suicide.
不行 你不能利用那一点 Okay, no way.
抢走帅哥跟最后一块蓝莓松饼 You can't use that to get the cute guy and the last muffin.
今天我已经用过那个借口了？对不起 Did I use that already today? I'm sorry.
班 卡洛斯 大卫… "Ben, Carlos, David..."
我赢了 他在速拨键里记下了巴尼斯 Oh, I win. He's got Barney's on his speed dial.
你不知道他指的是不是巴尼斯服饰店 So? You don't know that it's Barney's the store.
那可能是他朋友家或是酒吧的电话… That could be his friend's house, or a bar, or...
谁会把巴尼斯服饰店的电话 记录成速拨键？ Who has Barney's the store on their speed dial?
他的新女朋友 His new girlfriend.
那是什么声音？ What is that?
我想是快死掉的猫在举行游行 I think it's the Dying Cat Parade.
听起来是从对街传来的 Sounds like it's coming from across the street.
- 我的天啊 - 什么？ - Oh, my God. - What?
还记得罗斯说他要在 婚礼上给我们惊喜吗？ The thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?
他跟我出去混时说 "你有苏格兰的血统吧？" He was hanging out with me yesterday and he said, "You're half Scottish, right?"
不 不可能 不可能是罗斯 No. There is no way. It cannot be Ross.
不可思议 为什么你有苏格兰血统？ Unbelievable. Why is your family Scottish?
为什么罗斯是你哥哥？ Why is your family Ross?
他不能在婚礼上演奏 大家都会跑光的 He cannot play at our wedding. Everyone will leave.
别这样 那只是噪音 I mean, come on. That is just noise!
那根本不算是歌 It's not even a song.
等一下 如果你仔细听… Wait. If you listen very carefully, I think...
我想它是库尔 与伙伴合唱团唱的《庆祝》 ...it's "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.
你说的对 他们要将我踢出这出戏 You're absolutely right. They are writing me out of the show.
他们还没有决定 什么时候 但应该很快… They don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but apparently it's soon...
就是这样了 ...and then that's it.
我真的很抱歉 如果我可以决定 你永远都不会离开这出戏 I'm sorry. If it was up to me, you would never leave the show.
- 谢谢你 - 我是认真的 - Yeah, thanks. - No, I mean it.
我不敢相信他们会对你这么做 还有你的影迷 I can't believe they'd do this to you. And to your fans.
他们一定会崩溃伤心 他们是那么地爱你 They're gonna be devastated. Heartbroken. They love you so much.
你说的对 Oh, you're right.
谢谢 Thank you.
你说你叫什么名字？ What's your name again?
- 乔伊 - 谢谢你 - Joey. - Joey. Well, thank you.
那真的太贴心了 That is so sweet. Oh.
听着 之前我会来找你 The... The only reason I came up to you before...
是因为… ...was because, well...
因为要饰演你我真的很紧张 ...because I'm really nervous about being you.
请你帮我抓住角色的精髓 You know, if you could help me capture the essence of the character.
帮助我让洁西卡 继续活下去 可以吗？ Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
好吧 乔伊 我会帮你 All right, Joey, I will help you.
不是因为我对这出蠢戏有亏欠… Not because I owe it to this stupid show...
而是因为我亏欠洁西卡 ...but because I owe it to Jessica.
- 那真的是太棒了 谢谢你 - 别客气 - Oh, that's great. Thank you so much. - You're so welcome.
我一直在观摩录影带 你觉得这招如何？ I've been watching some tapes. How's this?
洁西卡拉哈特 永远都不会再踏入这里 Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again!
永远都不会 Ever!
但洁西卡没有英国腔 Oh, but, Jessica doesn't have an English accent.
我有英国腔？ I can do an English accent?
我要把这点写在我的履历表里 That baby's going on my resume.
- 嗨 你好吗？ - 我很好 - Hi, Pheebs. How are you? - Good.
还记得我们在咖啡厅时… Um, Phoebe, remember when we were in the coffeehouse...
我们决定我可以 拿走那个帅哥的手机吗？ ...we decided I was gonna keep the cute guy's phone?
- 嗯 - 我要把它放在我的皮包里 - Yeah. - And I was gonna keep it in my purse...
如果它响了 我就能立刻接听？ ...so if it rang, I could just pick it up?
你还记得你从我的皮包 把手机偷走了吗？ And then do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?
我听不懂你在说什么 Ooh, now you lost me.
- 你偷走了手机 - 不 我没有 - You stole the phone. - No, I didn't.
如果我拨号过去它不会响吗？ No? So you're saying that if I called it, it wouldn't ring?
- 不会 - 好吧 - No. - Hmm. Okay.
既然你要拨号了 我要让你看看 我刚买的响铃皮包 But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag.
额 Mm.
喔 它真的有用 Oh, it does work.
- 菲比 - 那是另一只手机 - Phoebe. - That is a different phone.
是吗？喂 对 你好 瑞秋在吗？ Oh, is it? Hello. Yes, hi. Is Rachel there?
她在 请稍等 是找我的 Yes, she is. Just one moment, please. It's for me!
那是铁证 That is damning evidence.
我的天啊 我敢说是他打来的 Oh, my God. I bet that's him.
我的数字童话故事就要开始了 My digital fairy tale's about to begin.
你是… It's ri...
你能不能别再那么做了？ Would you stop doing that?
喂 对 我就是捡到你手机的人 Hello? Yes, I'm the one who found your phone.
- 菲比 你不能… - 我在讲电话 - Phoebe, you can't do th... - Shh, I'm on a call.
对 今晚你能过来拿 就八点半吧？ Well, yeah, I mean, you could pick it up tonight. Say, 8:30?
到我家来 At my apartment. It's, um...
摩顿街五号 十四号房 It's, um, 5 Morton Street, apartment 14.
或许之后我们可以去吃点东西 And then maybe, you know, after, we could grab a bite to eat or whatever.
好的 到时候见 再见 Okay. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.
你知道他来的时候我会在这里 You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
你怎么知道他什么时候会来？ Oh, and how will you know what time to come over?
你刚刚说出来了 You just said it.
哦 Oh.
这个角色的精髓源自于她的自信 Joey, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence.
譬如说 当洁西卡走进一个房间时… So when Jessica enters a room, for instance...
她拥有那个房间里… ...she owns everything...
所有事物跟所有人 ...and every person in that room.
- 你来试试看 - 好吧 - You try it. - Okay.
他没有对这个房间生气 Right. Well, he's not mad at the room.
再试一次 他拥有它 他拥有这个房间 Try it again. He owns it. He owns the room.
这是他的 他拥有 这个房间 他拥有它 It is his. He owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!
这有点奇怪 但已经好多了 It's a little weird, but it's getting better.
我一定会很想念这个女人 我不知道我该怎么办 Oh, I'm gonna miss this woman so much. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我演这出戏二十年了 It's been 20 years of my life.
或许 或许… 这是件好事 Hey, hey. Maybe... Maybe, uh... Maybe this is a good thing.
它给你机会做改变 扮演不一样的角色 You know? Lt'll give you a chance to shake things up. Play different characters.
你才华洋溢 You're so talented.
或许我该在几年前离开 那时很多人要我接戏… Probably should've just left years ago when the offers were pouring in...
但我在这里过得太舒服… ...but, you know, I just got so comfy here and...
我拒绝了一些大好机会 Ugh, I turned down some amazing work.
- 譬如说呢？- 呃 - Like what? - Well...
就说如果我在十五年前离开… ...let's just say if I'd left 15 years ago...
现在的墨西哥影坛会完全不一样 ...the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today.
哇 Wow.
但现在…现在时机不一样了 But, well, now... Now's a different time for me.
嘿 别这样 Oh, hey, come on. Don't, uh... Don't do this.
听我说句话 好吗？ Let me tell you something, okay?
当我看到你演戏时 我想"天啊 她是个很棒的演员" When I watch you do a scene, I'm thinking, "Boy, she is a great actress."
但我也会想"她好辣" But... But I'm also thinking, "She is hot."
你觉得我很辣？ You think I'm hot?
你拥有这个房间 You own the room.
或许我们应该… We... We should probably get the...
对 我们应该… Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should get...
当洁西卡吻男人时… So when Jessica kisses a man...
她通常会把… ...she usually puts, um...
双手放在那个男人脸上 ...both her hands on the man's face.
我注意到了 那是因为她 充满了热情吗？ Yeah, I notice that. Is that because she's so passionate?
不 那是因为 那样子摄影机只能拍到她 No, it's because that way the camera only sees her.
你想试试看吗？ You want to try it?
好的 Yeah, okay.
太棒了 真的很不错 That was good. That was really good.
但我想你手的位置不对 But I think that maybe your hands are just a little off.
- 它们应该… - 呃 - They should be, maybe... Like, right... - Mm.
我想吃点点心 Well, I feel like a snack.
你要吃点脆饼吗？ 它是你故乡苏格兰的点心 Do you want some shortbread? It's Scottish, like you are.
不 谢谢 我不喜欢苏格兰的东西 Oh, no, thanks. I don't like anything from my Scottish heritage.
什么？ What?
因为我的家族被赶出苏格兰… Well, it's just that my entire family was run out of Scotland by...
是维京人干的 ...Vikings.
听起来你家人 准备要恢复苏格兰传统 It sounds to me like your family's ready to, uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
你不能在婚礼上吹风笛 You can't play bagpipes at the wedding!
你们怎么知道？ How did you know about that?
我们听到你在家里吹风笛 We heard you play all the way from your apartment.
是你们去报警的？ Were you the ones who called the cops?
现在那真的不重要 That's not really important right now. Ahem.
重要的是 我们谢谢你的好意… What is important is, while we appreciate the gesture...
我们只是觉得 我们的婚礼上不适合吹风笛 ...we just don't feel that bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
- 为什么？ - 因为我们讨厌风笛 - Why not? - Because we hate them.
给我机会为你们表演 再做最后的决定 Just give me a chance to perform for you, and then decide whatever you want.
我也不会告诉你们 我要吹哪首曲子 I'm not gonna tell you what song I'm gonna play, either. But, uh...
就说当表演结束后… ...let's just say when it's over...
我们一定会庆祝一下 ...I'll bet there'll be a wee bit o' celebration.
嘿 Hey, hey!
是谁？ Who is it?
我是汤姆 Hi, It's Tom.
- 我来拿手机的 - 哦 - I'm here to pick up the phone. - Ah!
为什么要由你去开门？ Whoa, why do you get to answer the door?
- 为什么不行？ - 因为这里是我家 - Why shouldn't I? - Because it's my apartment.
那么由我来把手机交给他 Well, then I get to give him the phone.
好吧 希望你能好好 跟他解释那些打到中国的电话 Okay. Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
嗨 Hi.
我们争执了多久？ Wow, how long were we arguing for?
哈哈 Um, ha, ha.
你不是那个忘了拿手机的人 You're not the man who left the cell phone.
- 对 他是我的助理 - 他会来吗？ - No, that's my assistant. - Is he coming?
不会 Um, no.
你能让我们谈一下吗？ Could you, uh, give us one second?
- 没问题 - 我们马上回来 - Sure. - We'll be right back, sir.
- 我们该怎么办？ - 我不知道 - Well, what do we do? - I don't know.
你能相信吗？ Can you believe this?
我们在等一个帅哥 结果来了一个超级大帅哥 We were waiting for a hot guy and an even hotter one shows up.
我知道 I know...
什么？ What?
瑞秋 听我说… Rachel, listen...
如果你能把他让给我 我真的欠你一个大人情 ...if you let me have him, then I will really owe you one.
好吧 All right.
好吧 我把他让给你 All right, Phoebe, I will let you have him.
但你欠我一个大人情 But you owe me. You owe me big.
哪一位漂亮的小姐要陪我去吃晚餐？ So which one of you lovely ladies am I gonna take to dinner, huh?
是我 Oh, that'd be me, sir.
- 请 - 哦 谢谢 - After you. - Okay, thank you.
太棒了 Nice.
你的确拥有那个房间 Well, you certainly own that room.
事实上我租下整间公寓 Actually, I rent the whole place.
我了解你的意思 谢谢夸奖 And I just got what you meant. Thank you.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
洁西卡拉哈特 在我家里面 Aah! Jessica Lockhart! In my apartment!
我是你的头号大影迷 我是你的头号大影迷 I am such a huge fan. I am such a huge fan.
很高兴能知道… Well, it's nice to know that...
摩妮卡 Monica! Monica!
她是我的室友瑞秋 That, uh... That's my roommate, Rachel.
难怪你家会有女人内衣 Oh, that explains all the women's underwear.
没错 Sure. Yeah.
我的天啊 是真的 Oh, my God, it's true!
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我能请你帮我… 一个忙吗？ Can I just ask you to do me... Aw... . Just one favor?
当然可以 Certainly.
你能打我一巴掌吗？ Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?
我很愿意 但我的律师说 我不能再那么做了 I'd love to, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore.
- 好了 我们走吧 - 好 - All right, here we go. - Okay.
不 等等 No, wait. Just one moment. Um...
- 你个蠢贱人 - 我真的恨不得一巴掌打死你 - You're a stupid bitch. - I really can't slap you.
- 我的天 你真了不起 - 多谢阻止 再见 - My God, you're great. - Thanks for stopping by. See you.
- 我真的很抱歉 - 不 - I am so sorry about that. - Oh, no, no, no.
我习惯被影迷包围 别担心 Being adored, I'm used to it. Don't worry about it.
- 我的天啊 - 什么？ - Oh, my God. - What?
他们寄了今天的剧本来给我 他们从来没有寄剧本给过我 They sent me today's script. They never send me the script.
- 是吗？ - 我一直都昏迷不醒 - They don't? - Well, no, I'm in a coma.
这代表我有台词了 This must mean I have lines.
哦 Oh.
我是怎么死的？ How does it happen?
喔 Ooh.
你摔下马 然后撞到电篱笆 You get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
什么？洁西卡讨厌马 A what? Jessica hates horses.
经过这件事 她也不会喜欢电 I'm guessing after this she's not gonna be crazy about electricity, either.
在妈妈的马鞍上动手脚 是个超级好点子 佛莱德克 Loosening the saddle on Mother's horse was brilliant, Fredrick.
电篱笆那个点子太妙了 And the electric fence, inspired.
谢谢你 亲爱的 Thank you, sweetheart.
我不敢相信她真的死了 I can't believe she's really gone.
看看你的四周 一切都是你的 Look around you. All of this is ours.
我可不那么认为 I don't think so.
你是谁？ Who are you?
怎么了？笛娜 What's the matter, Dina?
你不认得你自己的… Don't you recognize your own...
妈妈吗？ ...mother?
卡 大家都演得很好 谢谢 Cut! That was great, everybody. Thank you.
那真的是太棒了 That was so wonderful!
我想你比我更适合演洁西卡 Oh, I think that you're a better Jessica than I ever was.
- 喔 不 - 当然不是 但你真的很棒 - Oh, no. - Of course not, but you were very good.
谢谢 Heh, thanks.
好消息 我找到新工作了 Guess what? Good news. I got another job.
太棒了 是什么样的工作 Great. Hey, all right! What is it?
我要到瓜达拉哈拉拍电影 A film in Guadalajara.
你是指那个机场？ The airport?
不 那是拉瓜迪亚机场 No, that's LaGuardia.
- 我要去墨西哥 - 哇 - This is Mexico. - Oh, wow.
你会去多久？ Well, how long will you be gone?
八个月 Eight months.
- 那真的很久 - 对 但你可以来看我 - That's a really long time. - Yeah, but you could come and visit me.
我敢说你能在那里拥有几个地方 I bet that you could, uh, own a few places down there.
你知道的 或许我该先在纽约买房子 Oh, you know, I should probably buy a place in the city first.
我刚了解你的意思 那… And I just got what you meant. That is a...
- 那真的有难度 - 真的很难 - I'll tell you, that's a tricky one. - It's a tricky one.
那 Well...
祝你好运 Good luck.
你也是 You too.
请记住 我还在学吹风笛 Ahem. Okay, now, uh, remember, I'm still learning.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four!
你们都知道这首歌 一起唱吧 You know the song. Sing along.
怎么样？ So?
- 不 - 不 - No! - No!