喔 嘿 试镜如何？ Oh, hey! How was your audition?
对不起 我认识你吗？ I'm sorry, do I know you?
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
练习假装不认识你 因为我要成为电影明星了 Practicing blowing you off. I'm gonna be a big movie star!
你得到那个角色了？ Oh, you got it?
- 还没 但试镜很成功 - 什么样的角色？ - Not yet, but the audition went great! - What's it for?
大成本制作 关于三个意大利兄弟… A big-budget period movie about three Italian brothers...
在世纪之初来到美国 是个经典故事 ...who come to America at the turn of the century. It's classy.
导演被认为是 下下个马丁史柯西斯 The director's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese.
"下下个"？ The "next-next"?
来自芝加哥的那个家伙被认为是 下一个马丁史柯西斯 A guy from Chicago's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese.
这个导演在他之后 This guy's right after him.
喂？ Hello?
乔伊 是伊斯特 刚和选角的谈过 他们很喜欢你 Joey, it's Estelle. I just talked to the casting people. They loved you!
他们很喜欢我 They loved me!
对 他们明天要再见你一次 They want to see you again tomorrow.
- 我的天 - 只有一个问题 - Oh, my God. - Just one thing.
你对正面全裸有问题吗？ Do you have a problem with full-frontal nudity?
你开玩笑吗？我从没租过 一部没有正面全裸的电影 Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it!
哦 Oh.
好 我再回你电话 Uh, okay, let me call you back.
- 怎么回事？ - 电影里需要我全裸 - What's the matter? - They want me naked in the movie.
- 哇 - 是啊 - Wow. -I know.
- 我祖母会看到的 - 祖母还得排队咧 - My grandmother's gonna see this. - Grandma's gonna have to get in line.
婚礼就快到了 你紧张吗？ The wedding's so close. Are you nervous?
是啊 我等不及赶紧结束 Yeah, but I also can't wait till it's over.
钱德和我决定婚礼前不做爱的 We have a pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
无性"条约" 嗯？ A "no sex" pact, huh?
我和全美每位女性 都有一份这个合约 I have one of those with every woman in America.
菲比 你能帮我整理客房吗？ Will you give me a hand making up the guest bedroom?
表妹凯西要来和我们住几天 Cousin Cassie's staying with us for a few days.
凯西？我很久没看到她了 Cassie? I haven't seen her in, like, forever.
她是不是还带着 芭比娃娃到处跑？ I wonder if she still carries a Barbie everywhere?
- 罗斯 她25岁了 - 所以呢？我还是… - She's 25 years old. - So? I still...
不 你大概是对的 You're probably right.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
菲比 我可以和你说句话吗？ Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
好啊 Yeah.
要低调一点 Subtle, guys.
什么？ What?
我知道你们在计划 我的惊喜告别单身女子派对 I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower.
好吧 别毁了它 至少假装不知道 Ha, okay, well, don't ruin it. Just play along, at least.
- 好 对不起 - 好 - Okay. Sorry. - Okay.
天啊 我们要替她办告别单身女子派对？ Oh, my God. We have to throw her a shower?
嘿 你决定那部电影该怎么办了吗？ What'd you decide to do about the movie?
我不知道 我是说… I don't know.
那不是一部色情电影 这是一部严肃 正当的电影 It's not like it's porn. This is a serious, legitimate movie.
这个故事里的裸戏很重要 Nudity's really important to the story.
你也是这么说色情电影的 That's what you say about porn.
对 也许别去参加第二次试镜 Maybe I shouldn't go on the callback.
不 你应该去 很多大明星都有裸戏演出 No, you should. A lot of major actors do nude scenes.
在电影里演出的机会？别这样 The chance to star in a movie? Come on!
是真的 我只有一场裸戏 听起来真的很不错 That's true. And I'm only naked in one scene. It sounds really great.
我的角色是个天主教徒 和一位犹太女孩恋爱了 My character's Catholic. He falls in love with a Jewish girl.
我们逃家而被陷在大雨中 We run away and get caught in a big rainstorm.
躲到了谷仓里 脱掉彼此衣服 抱在一起 We go into a barn, undress each other and hold each other.
真的很甜蜜而温柔 It's really sweet and tender.
还有 每个人都看到你那活儿 Plus, everyone is gonna see your thing.
我们何时能开这个告别单身女子派对？ When can we have this shower?
她有这么多事要做 我们只有两个选择 She has so much going on, we have only two options.
- 星期五 - 那只剩两天了 - We have Friday. - That's just two days away.
- 另一个选择是什么？ - 昨天 - What is the other option? - Yesterday.
如果我们昨天就办了 问题解决了 Well, if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo, we're done.
不可能 我们不可能在星期五办 It's impossible. We can't do this by Friday.
要找到一个地点 邀请客人 买好食物 We have to find a place, invite people, get food.
太多事要做 There's too much to do.
- 办不到… - 瑞秋 镇静下来 - We cannot do it! - Calm down!
好 抱歉 你是对的 抱歉 Okay. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry.
镇静下来 女人 Just calm down, woman!
菲比 我已经镇静下来了 Phoebe, I already did.
- 好 那我需要镇静 - 好 - All right, then I need to calm down. - Okay.
有系统一点就能办这件事 I think we can do this if we just get organized.
- 额 - 有两天来计划这个派对 - Uh-huh. - We have two days to plan this party.
- 做决定要快 - 嗯 - We just need to make fast decisions. - Mm-hm.
好 要在哪里办？ Where will we have it?
- 在这里 什么时间？ - 4点整 食物？ - Um, here. What time? - Four o'clock. Food?
- 小三明治和茶 - 好极了 很摩妮卡 - Finger sandwiches and tea. - Ooh, great. Very Monica.
- 还有辣椒 - 太过头了 - And chili. - Ah, you went one too far.
- 花还是气球？ - 两个都要 - Uh, flowers or balloons? - Both.
- 我们要付钱的 - 两个都不要 - We're paying for this. Okay. - Neither.
- 主题要什么呢？ - 肌肤之爱 - Um, what should we do for the theme? - "Lusts of the Flesh."
- 什么？ - 我不知道 牛仔风？ - What? - I don't know. Cowboy theme?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我很高兴我们决定婚礼前不上床 I'm glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.
我也是 Oh, boy. Me too.
我在想 如果我们大吵一架 You know, I was thinking, if we had a big fight...
分手几个小时 Mm-hm. ...and, uh, we broke up for a few hours.
- 耶 - 技术上来说 我们就可以上床 - Yeah. - Technically, we could have sex again.
你说呢 颐指气使的人？ What do you think, bossy and domineering?
婚礼取消了 不成熟的邋遢人 The wedding's off, sloppy and immature.
- 我正是如此 走吧 - 好 - That's me. Come on. - Okay.
等一下 凯西在客房 我们要一起出去吃午餐 Wait. Cassie's in the guest room. We're going to lunch.
甩掉她 执拗尖锐的人 Get rid of her, obsessive and shrill!
尖锐？婚礼照常 Shrill? The wedding is back on.
我听到有人讲话 你一定是钱德 I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
- 嗨 很高兴认识你 - 很高兴认识你 - Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
- 要走了吗？ - 好 - So, ready to go? - Yeah.
- 钱德？ - 等一下 - Chandler? - I'll be right with you.
- 凯西必须去住你家 - 为什么？ - Cassie needs to stay at your place. - Why?
因为这位"变态人" 一直瞪着她看 Because "Pervie Perverson" here can't stop staring at her.
钱德 她是我们的表妹 Chandler, she's our cousin!
我没有瞪着她看 我是很专心地听她说话 I wasn't staring. I was listening intently.
做一位好的聊天者 看着 It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch.
说话 Say something.
你看着南面8英寸以外的地方 You were staring about eight inches south of there.
好 她可以来住我家 Fine. She can stay at my place.
凯西现在长的什么样子？ What does Cassie look like now?
- 就像玛丽莲阿姨 - 哈 - She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn. - Huh.
玛丽莲阿姨会来参加婚礼吗？ So this Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding?
你快上我的黑名单了 Wafer-thin ice.
嘿 我回来了 Hey, I'm back.
嗨 乔伊 Hi, Joey.
我又要演同一场戏吗？ Uh, so, will I be reading the same scene again?
我试着打电话给你 你今天不用来这儿 I tried to call you. You didn't need to come today.
太好了 Oh, great.
我会是这个角色的最佳人选 I'd have been perfect for this part.
不过随你便 你错误的决定 会毁了你的电影 再见 You made a bad decision and ruined your movie. Good day!
等等 乔伊 你不需要来这儿 因为导演看了你的带子非常喜欢 You didn't need to come, because the director saw your tape and loved it.
下台鞠躬 And scene.
很好玩吧？ Huh? Wasn't that fun?
MJ的即席表演耶 We did a little improv there. Yeah!
你在说？ So, you... You were saying?
导演们认为你很适合 明天想见你 The director wants to meet you tomorrow.
哇 当然 太好了 Wow. Sure. That's great.
你经纪人说你对裸戏没问题 Your agent said you're okay with nudity.
是 只要很有格调地表现 Yeah, sure. As long as it's handled tastefully.
谷仓不要太冷 And that barn is not too cold.
好极了 还有一件事 Terrific. Well, uh, there's one more thing.
导演希望电影里 每一样事物都很正宗 Uh... Uh, it's important to the director that everything in the movie is authentic.
所以你和莎拉的性爱场面… In your love scene with Sarah...
她说她从没见过 不是犹太人的裸体男子 ...she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish.
所以… So...
所以…怎样？ So, what?
导演坚持演出这个角色的人… So, uh, well, the director is insisting that whoever play that part...
是正宗的 身体组织上… ...be authentically, uh, anatomically...
不是犹太人 你知道我在说什么？ ...not Jewish. You know what I'm saying?
是 Yes!
不 是什么？ No. What?
在那时的意大利 天主教移民不会是… An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be...
行过受诫礼的？ Bar mitzvah-ed?
- 要得到这个角色 你不能是… - 不能 - To get this part, you can't be... - No.
- 可是你是？ - 耶 - But you are? - Yep.
- 你告诉他们你不是？ - 对 - You told them you weren't? - That's right.
哇哦 Wow. Wow.
真的完全都没有了？ 没剩下一点可努力的余地？ It's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with?
- 你在想什么？ - 我不知道 我想得到这个角色 - What were you thinking? - I don't know. I just want this part.
他们说不管试镜时问什么 都回答是 They say no matter what you're asked during an audition, say yes.
如果要你骑马 说你会 They want you to ride a horse, say you can.
之后再解决 You figure out how to do it later.
乔伊 这和学会骑马不一样 这就像是学会… This is not like learning to ride a horse. This is like learning to...
长出长脖子 ...grow a turtleneck.
我知道 好吗？ 明天我去见导演时… I know, okay? Tomorrow, when I go meet the director...
我必须脱掉衣服 让他们看我的身体 ...I have to take my clothes off so they can see what my body looks like.
我的天 你要怎么办？ Oh, my God. What are you gonna do?
必须打给我的经纪人 告诉她我不能接这个角色 I have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part.
除非… Unless...
除非怎么？ Unless what?
听起来可能很疯狂 不过我们可能可以做点… This may sound crazy, but there may be something we could...
造型 ...fashion.
- 像什么？ - 我还不知道 - Like what? - Well, I'm not sure yet, but, um...
随便想想 我在想… ...off the top of my head, I'm thinking...
双面胶和某种午餐肉 ...double-sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
嘿 我有个派对主题的好主意 I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower.
用一个红木箱 刻上每个人的名字 We get mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them.
在里面放着每个人的出生石 Then inside is each person's individual birthstone.
好 好 Okay. Okay.
- 那由你来弄 - 好 - All right, you take care of that. - Okay.
同时 派对就在明天 我们还没有宾客名单 Meanwhile, the party's tomorrow and we don't have a guest list.
好 我们知道要来的有谁？ 有我 你要来吗？ Okay. Who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you?
- 嘿 - 怎么样啊？ - Hey. - Hey, what's up?
我在替乔伊弄点东西 可以搜一下你的冰箱吗？ I'm making something for Joey. Can I raid your fridge?
请便 Have at it.
好 火鸡肉？没有用 All right. Turkey? Mm, that won't work.
起司？没有用 Cheese? That won't work.
橄榄面包 希望这没用 Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.
你在替他做三明治吗？ Are you making him a sandwich?
不 比较像是鸡肉卷 No, it's, um, more like a wrap.
好 我要走了 Okay, so, um, I'm gonna go, guys.
你们可以继续讨论 要送我什么礼物 So you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present!
我们要送她礼物？ We have to get her a present?
好吧 看我拿到什么 Okay, but look. Look at what I got.
她的通讯录 我们有宾客名单了 It's her address book. We have a guest list.
啊 Ah.
天啊 你好厉害 你从她皮包拿的？ You're amazing. Did you pull that out of her purse?
嗯 还有派对的种子钱 Uh-huh. And a little seed money for the party.
漂亮 Oh, nice.
凯西？ Cassie?
- 嘿 罗斯 - 嗨 哈哈 - Hey, Ross. - Hi. Ha, ha.
好久不见 It's been so long!
上一次我看到你时… Last time I saw you...
你正搭着帐篷 等待绝地武士的归来 ...you were setting up your tent in line for Return of the Jedi.
对 Oh, uh, that's right.
所以那天你有看到我 看起来像没看到的样子 So you did see me that day. Because it seemed like you didn't.
- 对不起 - 没关系 请进 - Yeah, sorry about that. - It's okay. Come on in.
谢谢你让我住在这儿 摩妮卡那儿不错 Thanks for letting me stay here. Monica's place was nice.
但她的未婚夫一直瞪着人看 But her fiancé sure stares a lot.
哦 Oh.
我的天 你学钱德学得真像 Oh, my God! You do a great Chandler!
额 Uh-huh.
我很会做表情的 Yeah, I have a knack for impressions.
等我们熟一点 你也可以学我 Well, maybe after we get re-acquainted, uh, you could do me.
好 不 Yeah. No!
凯西 你的… Cassie, how you...? How you doing on that...
热狗好吃吗？ ...hot dog?
- 我吃完了 - 感谢上帝 - I'm all done. - Thank God.
我想上次见面是我们父母 租下海边小屋那时 The last time we hung out was when our parents rented that beach house.
记得我按住你 Oh, right, right. Ooh, remember the time...
搔你痒直到你哭了？ ...l, uh, pinned you down and tickled you until you cried?
我们现在大了 不能这么做了 We're probably too old to do that now.
我一直都记得那个夏天 我就是那时长了这些雀斑的 I'll always remember that summer. It's when I got all these freckles.
额 额 Uh-huh, Uh-huh.
我一直都记得那个夏天… And... And I'll always remember that summer...
因为那时我才知道我们是亲戚 ...because that's when I realized that we are related.
你花了那么久才发现？ It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
我是有点反应迟缓 Um, I'm a little slow.
就如我们的孩子也可能会这样子 Just as our children would be.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
你好吗？好 嗨 谢谢大家来 How are you? Good. Hi. Thanks for coming.
- 谢谢 - 很高兴见到你 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. So nice to see you.
- 不 谢谢 - 好 瑞秋？ - No, thanks. - Okay. Hey, Rach?
- 是？ - 这些是什么人啊？ - Yeah? - Who the hell are all these people?
我不知道 我打给她本子里的每一个人 I don't know. I called everybody in her book.
这些是在24小时内通知还能来的 These are the ones that could show up on 24 hours' notice.
有另一个词可以来形容这种人: 输家 There's a word for people like that: Losers.
嗨 我是瑞秋 这是菲比 我是伴娘 Hi, I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor.
你怎么认识摩妮卡的？ How do you know Monica?
- 我是她四年前的会计师 - 哦 - I was her accountant four years ago. - Oh...
我很想知道 这过去四年是谁替她报税的 I'm interested to find out who's been doing her taxes the last four years.
很好 That's great.
- 摩妮卡何时会到？ - 我不知道 - When is Monica supposed to get here? - I don't know.
借一步说话 Excuse us.
- 你没告诉她？ - 是你该通知她的 - You didn't tell her? - You were supposed to.
才不是我 是你该通知她来的 而我要带蛋糕 You were supposed to tell her to come! I was bringing the cake!
- 好 我打电话给她 - 对 然后要她带蛋糕来 - Fine, I'll go call her. - And please tell her to bring a cake!
好 我们有很多选择 有几个雏型可以试穿 We have a lot of options. A number of prototypes for you to try on.
看起来很好 Wow, those look great.
这个有磨结做的头 这个是意大利香肠做的 Okay, this one's a mushroom cap. Uh, this one is made of bologna.
- 牙签呢？ - 只是撑着等胶水干掉 - And... And the toothpicks? - Just until the glue dries.
成谢上帝 Thank God.
这些比较逼真 但会腐烂 These are more realistic, but perishable.
这儿 粉红色的鞣皮 很不错 Over here, we have pink suede, which is nice.
但湿了会缩水 But if it gets wet, it'll shrink.
把这个拿走好了 Maybe we'll just take that one away.
我也做了一个有毛的 不过那是给我自己的 I also did a little something in fur, but, uh, that's really just for me.
不如你去房间试试这些？ 我们就知道哪些有用 Why don't you try these on? We'll get a better idea of what works.
谢谢 你真是位好朋友 这真是奇怪透顶 Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
噢 Ow.
- 牙签？ - 对 - Toothpick? - Yeah.
- 你现在在试那个？ - 水果卷 - What are you trying now? - The Fruit Roll-up.
- 然后呢？ - 很好吃 - And? - Delicious.
乔伊 Joey.
等一下 等一下 冠军出现了 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We have a winner!
怎样？哪一个？ What? Which one?
不要再那么笨了 The Silly Putty. Not so silly anymore!
她是你表妹 她是你表妹 She's your cousin. She's your cousin.
如果她知道你脑袋里在想什么 她会以为你有病 If she knew what was going on in your head, she'd think you were sick.
她会吗？ 回想一下 Or would she? Let's back up for a second.
是她提议开红酒的 She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine.
是她把灯光调暗的 She was the one who turned down the lights.
是她要租《二十三世纪大逃亡》的… She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run...
有史以来最性感的电影 ...the sexiest movie ever.
我知道这眼神 I know that look.
不管了 我想要 她想要 Forget it. I want it. She wants it.
我要行动了 I'm going in.
你在干什么？ What the hell are you doing?
说点机智的 Say something clever.
好吧 不必机智的 Okay, doesn't have to be clever.
只要说点什么 说话 Just has to be words. Say some words.
什么话都好 Any words will do.
我的天 这是有史以来… Oh, my God, this is the longest...
最长的沉默 ...that anyone has not talked ever!
说什么都不可能让情形更糟… There is nothing you could say to make this worse...
就说点什么 ...so just say something!
我很久没做爱了 I haven't had sex in a very long time.
你真的不该说话的 Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.
菲比？瑞秋？是摩妮卡 Phoebe? Rachel? It's Monica.
什么事这么急着找我来呢？ I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice?
喔 Oh.
- 摩妮卡 我们很抱歉 - 为什么？ - Oh, Monica. We are so sorry. - For what?
第一 忘了替你办告别单身女子派对 First, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
然后忘了邀请你 Then, forgetting to invite you to it.
你们已经办完了？ You already had it?
我们打电话给你通讯录里每一个人 来了很多人 We called everyone in your phone book. A bunch of people came.
但花了太多时间找到你 客人都走了 It took us so long to get you here that they had to leave.
我们想给你一个大惊喜 替你办一个大的告别单身女子派对 We wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower.
现在两个都没了 Now you don't have either.
- 我们毁了一切 - 额 - We ruined everything. - Ugh.
不 等一下 没有毁了一切 你们真的很好心 No, wait a minute, that's not true. What you did was really sweet.
- 其实这样子最好 - 什么意思？ - It kind of works out for the best, heh. - What do you mean?
现在我可以和我真正喜欢的人 一起共渡我的告别单身女子派对 Now I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love.
我收了所有的礼物 而不必和我不喜欢的人说话 I get all those presents without talking to people I don't even like!
- 惊喜 - 惊喜 摩妮卡 - Surprise. - Surprise, Monica.
最酷的是 这个角色是从尼泊尔来的 What's cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
- 耶 - 我全家都是从尼泊尔来的 - Yeah. - My whole family's from Naples.
太好了 我听得差不多了… That's great. Okay. I've heard everything I need to hear...
我们只需要… We just need to, uh...
莱斯莉？ Leslie?
- 乔伊 这有点怪怪的 - 是 没有问题 - Uh, Joey, this is the awkward part. - Oh, hey, right. Not a problem.
我完全了解… I totally understand you need to...
你们需要能确定 我没有可怕的疤痕或刺青 ...make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos.
不用担心 Don't you worry.
我没什么要隐藏的 I have nothing to hide.
这儿 这就是我 So, there you go. That's me.
百分之百纯天然 One hundred-percent natural.
这从来没发生过 I tell you, that has never happened before.
凯西 一切都还好吗？ Cassie, are you finding everything okay?
谢谢你让我住这儿 是 Yeah. Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
没问题 喔 Oh, it's no problem. I've...
怎么了？ What?
说话 随便说什么 Say something. Say anything.
约她出去 她不是你表妹 Ask her out! She's not your cousin!