- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
我在填"肥皂剧文摘"的字谜游戏 So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle...
你猜谁是三下的字谜提示 ...and guess who is the clue for three down?
三下 " "我们的日子"的大明星 空格 崔比亚尼 " Three down. "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani."
就是我 我是空格 That's me! I'm blank! Hey.
太酷了 我们认识三下 我在碰三下 How cool is. We know three down. I'm touching three down.
没错 宝贝 Yeah, you are, baby.
三下知道我结婚了 Three down knows I'm married.
- 三下在做什么 - 抱歉 - What's three down doing? - Sorry.
他们有通知你上了杂志吗 So do they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?
不 他们很喜欢我 No. They really liked me there.
他们想做人物专访 我拒绝了 They wanted to do a profile on me. I said no.
为什么 Why'd you say no?
还记得我上次接受采访的结果吗 Remember what happened the last time I did an interview?
我说我自己写台词 编剧抓狂 I said I write a lot of my own lines, then the writers got mad...
让我的角色摔下电梯间 ...and made my character fell down the elevator shaft.
谁知道这次我会说什么 So who knows what I might say this time?
你得控制自己说的每一句话 If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.
少来了 乔伊 这次你会表现得很好 Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time.
这样会对你的事业有帮助 And plus, you know, the publicity would be really good for your career.
你应得的 And you deserve that.
在专访里你可以提到 And if you do the interview, you could mention...
我不知道 女性朋友瑞秋·葛林 ...oh, I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green.
"女性朋友"的意思是失败者吗 Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?
好吧 别听他的 拜托 Okay, don't listen to him. Please?
好吧 我会做的 Fine, all right, I'll do it.
你们得在场 But, hey. You guys have to be at the next table...
阻止我说出蠢话 ...so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.
你只指专访时还是一辈子 因为我们还得去上班 Just then or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?
我们会在场的 但你得记住 Come on, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember:
女性朋友瑞秋·葛林 Gal pal, Rachel Green.
我要上"肥皂剧文摘"了 I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest.
不只是上愚蠢的字谜游戏 And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle.
- 我真的以你为荣 - 是啊 - Seriously, proud of you. - Yeah.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
（中央咖啡厅）
谢谢你抽空接受访问 I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
别客气 我很乐意 Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
你觉得我们很明显吗 You think we're being obvious?
不 我们只是四个脖子有问题 会这样子说话的人 No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.
约在这里见面是个好主意 I think it's great that you wanted to meet here.
大家听说杂志社会付钱 When most people hear that the magazine's paying for it...
都会约到高级大餐厅 ...they want a big, fancy restaurant.
我真的不知道杂志社会付钱 Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying.
那不重要 Wouldn't have mattered.
我这么做是为了影迷 不是为了白吃 I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food. Ha, ha.
- 你们要点些什么 - 咖啡 - Can I get you anything? - I'll have a cup of coffee.
各种松饼通通来一份 Yeah, and I'll have all the muffins.
- 嘿 - 我们不能说话 - Hey. - Shh. We're not talking.
终于 Oh, finally. Ugh.
根据你的个人资料 以前你做过很多工作 So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives.
有哪个工作是你觉得很骄傲的 Anything that you're particularly proud of?
# 你只要一个小山谷 # # All you want is a dingle #
# 你的嫉妒是不需要的 # # What you envy's a shwang #
# 一个可以让你引以为傲的东西 # # A thing through which you can tinkle #
# 或是玩弄挂在身上的东西 # # Or play with, or simply let hang #
有可能吗 你想喝杯牛奶 Folks, this ever happen to you? You go to the fridge to get a glass of milk...
但纸盒很难打开 ...but these darn cartons are so fringing-flanging hard to open.
天啊 你说的对 麦克 Boy, you said it, Mike. I don't...
- 一定有更棒的办法 - 没错 凯文 - There's gotta be a better way. - And there is, Kevin.
这是他第一次使用它 He's never used this product before.
很简单的 试试看 You're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead.
- 这适用于所有牛奶纸盒 - 很简单 - This works in any milk carton. - Wow, it is easy.
现在我每天都能喝牛奶 - Now I can have milk every day. - Ah.
就这样 维多 So this is it, Victor?
我猜是吧 所以… Yeah, I guess it is. And so...
我要搭上这艘太空船 ...I'm gonna get on this spaceship...
到巴拉根七号星 寻找另类能源 ...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.
但两百年后我再回来 你早已经不在 But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone.
我却一点都不会变老 But I won't have aged at all.
你得要你的曾曾孙女来找我 So you tell your great-great- granddaughter to look me up.
因为 艾德莉恩 Because, Adrian...
宝贝 ."baby".
我想见见她 ...I'm gonna want to meet her.
我要出现了 我要来修影印机 Shh, shh. Okay, here I come. Here I come. See, I'm coming to fix the copier.
我没办法靠近影印机 心想"我该怎么办" I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
我看着他们做爱 然后我说…等一下 这是我的台词 So I just watch them have sex. And then I say... Wait, here's my line:
你知道吗 那会把送纸夹弄坏 You know, that's bad for the paper tray.
- 做的好 - 等一下 我的朋友 我又出现了 - Nice work, my friend. - Wait, wait, wait, you see me again.
等一下 那家伙的屁股挡到我了 Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
我出现了 我出现了 我出现了 There I am. There I am. There I am.
我做过太多工作 要选一个真的很难 Well, there are so many things, you know, it's hard to pickjust one.
- 我要去拿咖啡 你们需要什么吗 - 好啊 - I'm gonna get some coffee. Want anything? - Oh, yeah.
- 我要蓝莓松饼跟甘菊茶 - 双份拿铁 多点泡沫 - A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea. - Double latte, extra foam.
- 我要贝果加… - 我只是礼貌性问一下 - And a bagel with only... - I was just being polite.
你不工作的时候呢 Okay. How about when you're not working?
你有空时都在做什么 What do you do in your spare time?
看看这个小丑 大船… Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat...
就以为整条河都是他的 ...he thinks he can take up the whole river.
别挡路 混蛋 Get out of the way, jackass!
谁会把自己的船取名为"海岸防卫队"呢 Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
他们就是海岸防卫队 That is the Coast Guard.
他们在这里做什么 海岸在那边 What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.
- 嗨 - 你瞧 这太不可思议了 - Hi. - Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable.
乔伊已经息气快四分钟了 Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes.
你想害死我吗 Dude, are you trying to kill me?
看来今天你真的很忙 Well, I see you've had a very productive day.
这顶牛仔帽太花了吧 Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
来吧 真的很好玩 Come on, it's fun.
好吧 All right.
这不是女人的帽子吗 Isn't this a woman's hat?
别说傻话了 快去帮我们泡茶 Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.
你知道吗 我们得把A片关掉 You know what? We have to turn off the porn.
我想你说的对 I think you're right.
- 好吧 准备好了吗 - 一 - All right, ready? - One.
- 二 三 - 三 - Two, three. - Three.
那真的很棒 That's kind of nice.
- 我松了一口气 - 对 - Yeah, it's kind of a relief. - Yeah.
- 你想看我们还能不能看到它吗 - 好吧 - You wanna see if we still have it? - Yeah.
- 我们有免费的A片 - 好耶 - Free porn! We have free porn here! - Yeah.
我有空时会念书给盲人听 In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind.
我还是孩子们的曼陀珠 And I'm also a mento for kids.
- 曼陀珠 - 曼陀珠 我是他们的榜样 - A mento? - You know, a mento. A role model.
- 曼陀珠 - 对 - A mento? - Right.
- 吃的曼陀珠 - 事实上没错 - Like the candy? - As a matter of fact, I do.
读者也想知道… Well, um, another thing that our readers always want to know...
肥皂剧明星是怎么维持身材的 ...is how soap stars stay in such great shape.
你有健身妙方吗 Do you have some kind of a fitness regime?
明星们会正确地饮食 大量运动 Uh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
你知道我们已经丢了一小时的球 球都没掉吗 Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for an hour?
真的吗 Are you serious?
半小时前就发现了 但我没说话… I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't want to say anything...
因为我不想破坏它 ...because I didn't want to jinx it.
- 我们真的很厉害 - 对 - Wow, we are pretty good at this. - Yeah.
我们忘了吃午餐 Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
这是我第一次忘了吃饭 Oh. I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal.
我的裤子都松了 Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.
你怎么了 What's wrong with you?
我举哑铃时觉得胃好痛 Oh, I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before.
后来我昏了过去 And then I, uh, passed out.
我没办法站起来 但我想应该没关系 I haven't been able to stand up since. Ha, ha. But I don't think it's serious.
听起来像是疝气 快去看医生吧 This sounds like a hernia. You have to... Go to the doctor.
不行 No way.
如果我去看医生 Look, if I go to the doctor for anything...
就得把这玩意夹出我的胃 ...it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach.
我为什么要恢复健身的习惯呢 Why'd I have to start working out again?
该死的15磅哑铃 Damn you, 15's.
- 它是什么 - 蛋糕布丁 它有好几层 - What is it? - It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers.
一层手指饼干 然后一层果酱 First, there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam.
然后是甜冻 我自己做的 Then custard, which I made from scratch.
然后是覆盆子 更多手指饼干 Then raspberries, more ladyfingers...
加了豆子跟洋葱的烩牛肉 ...then beef sauteed with peas and onions.
再加一层甜冻 Then a little bit more custard.
它的味道好像臭脚丫 It tastes like feet.
我喜欢 I like it.
- 你在开玩笑吗 - 它有什么不好的 甜冻 好吃 - Are you kidding? - What's not to like? Custard, good.
果酱 好吃 肉 好吃 Jam, good. Meat, good.
你的脸色不太好 乔伊 Well, you don't look good, Joe.
冰箱坏了 我得把所有东西吃掉 Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.
冷盘 冰淇淋 莱姆 Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
那个棕色罐子里装了什么 Hey, what was in that brown jar?
- 它还在 - 现在不在了 - That's still in there? - Not anymore.
这一块没有沾到地板 Oh, look. There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it.
- 别越界 - 少来了 - Stick to your side. - Hey, come on, now.
好吧 我们要吃什么 All right, what are we having?
我不相信疯狂的节食法 只要正常饮食就行了 Uh, I don't believe in these crazy diets. You know, just everything in moderation.
你的松饼来了 - Your muffins. - Uh...
我要外带 I'll take those to go.
给孩子们吃 For the kids.
我知道我想问什么 Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.
多年前他们安排你的角色死掉 You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off.
发生了什么事 What happened there?
很愚蠢 Oh, it's so stupid.
我在一次访问中说了我不该说的话 I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said.
但今天我不会那么做 But believe me, that is not gonna happen today.
了解 那时你说了什么 Understood. So, what did you say back then?
我说我… Oh, I said that I...
嘿 乔伊 你好吗 Hey, Joey! How you doing?
她是雪丽 她代表"肥皂剧文摘"访问我 You guys, this is Shelly. She's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest.
- 嗨 - 雪丽 他们是我的朋友 - Hi. - Shelly, these are my friends.
嗨 我是女性朋友瑞秋·葛林 Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.
你想知道八卦消息就来找我 Um, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to.
这可能是乔伊的孩子 谁知道呢 This might be Joey's baby, who knows?
我只是在开玩笑 我只是女性朋友瑞秋·葛林 I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
她刚刚丢够了她还没有出世的孩子的脸 Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
- 我得去加点热水 - 好 - I'm gonna go get this warmed up. - Okay.
- 乔伊 你表现得很好 - 到目前为止没有说傻话 - Joey, you're doing great. - So far, nothing stupid.
- 曼陀珠 - 不 谢谢 - Mento? - No, thanks.
身为乔伊的朋友 So as Joey's friends...
有什么事是读者应该知道的吗 ...is there anything you think our readers ought to know?
不 他是个大好人 Uh, no, just that he is a great guy.
这话可以让你上 "肥皂剧文摘"才怪呢 Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest.
我… Well, I...
我想说乔伊 I would just like to say that Joey...
真的丰富了我们的生活 ...truly has enriched the days of our lives.
你应该没想到这么性感的男人会那么体贴 Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
- 我喜欢 你叫什么名字 - 菲比·布非 - Oh, I like that. What's your name? - Phoebe Buffay.
要怎么拼 How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
菲比的P 希比的H Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie.
欧比的0 艾比的E O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.
比比的B "哈罗 朋友"的E B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate."
太棒了 很高兴能认识你们 Great. Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
- 对 我也是 - 谢谢 - Yeah, you too. - Thanks, you guys.
再见 Bye.
你似乎有很多朋友 So it seems like you have a lot of friends.
- 对 - 谁是你最好的朋友 - Yeah. - Who would you say is your best friend?
你为什么会有两个 How come you have two?
这个是送你的 Well, this one's for you.
- 不可能 - 对 不可能 - Get out. - No, I can't.
我知道这对你来说意义重大 No, no. Listen, I know how much this means to you.
这不只是首饰而已 And I also know this is about more than jewelry.
它代表了你跟我是最好的朋友 It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.
这是友谊吗 我想是的 Wow. Is this friendship? I think so.
你看 我们是手镯兄弟 Check it out. We're bracelet buddies.
他们是那样子叫我们的 That's what they'll call us.
- 乔伊 对不起 - 没关系 别担心 - Oh, Joey. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Don't worry about it.
你看 它会留下印子 No, but look. Oh, that's gonna leave a stain.
瑞秋 没关系 你在乔伊家 Rach, hey, it's fine. You're at Joey's.
- 真的吗 - 对 你看 - Really? - Yeah, look.
对 Yeah.
- 我没有过过这种生活 - 我知道 - I've never lived like this before. - I know.
别浪费它 它还是食物 天啊 Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez.
我觉得有罪恶感 我想当个好朋友 I've been feeling guilty about this. I wanna be a good friend...
该死 我是个好朋友 闭上你的嘴巴跟眼睛 ...and damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.
好… Yeah, uh...
你是个好朋友 You are a good friend.
我今天早上去试镜 但我失败了 Of course, the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it.
那个吻真的很棒 瑞秋是个幸运的女孩 But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
请参赛者离开隔离区 Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths.
他们出发了 And they're off. Oh.
别挡住我的选手 裁判 Get your foot off my contestant. Judge.
裁判判决没有犯规 Judge rules: No violation.
- 鸭子踩到奶油了 - 不 等一下 那不是奶油 - The duck gets the Nutter Butter. - No. Wait, that's not a Nutter Butter.
- 那是以前掉的馄饨 - 裁判判决是奶油 - That's an old wonton. - Judge rules: Nutter Butter.
- 真的很难决定 - 是啊 - Oh. Tough call. - Yeah.
我在探索频道看过 I had seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
等一下 我看过它 在探索频道上 Wait a minute. I saw that. On the Discovery Channel.
对 关于水母 如果你… Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you...
你尿在自己身上 Ew. You peed on yourself?
别那么说 你不了解那有多痛 ou can't say that. You don't know.
我以为我会痛得昏过去 I mean, I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.
总之我试过了 但我没办法那样子弯曲身子 Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way.
所以 So...
没错 我帮了她一个大忙 That's right, I stepped up.
她是我的朋友 她需要帮忙 She's my friend and she needed help.
有必要的话 我会尿在你们身上 If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
不 我没有最好的朋友 Uh, nope. No best friend.
我只有很多密友 No, just a lot of close friends. Yeah.
现在言归正传 So, uh, now back to the show.
有那么多男同志支持你 你有什么感觉 How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
真的吗 我 Really? Me?
我不认识任何男同志 Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
我真的觉得心好痛 It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
这是我们的私下谈话 你不是… Now, off the record, you're not...
什么 你指我的男包包吗 What? Are you referring to my man's bag?
刚开始它看起来不错 但它真的很实用 At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out.
它有很多放东西的小袋子 你可以放皮夹 钥匙 电话簿 It's got compartments for all your stuff: your wallet, your keys, your address book.
化妆品 Your makeup.
我要从你的正面爬下 让我们面对面 Now, should I climb down your front so we're face to face...
还是从你的背面爬下 屁股对脸 ...or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face?
- 我想面对面比较好 - 对 面对面 - I think face is best. - Yeah, face to face.
- 好吧 我来了 - 好吧 - Okay, here I come. - All right.
天啊… 你有多重 罗斯 Oh, my... How much do you weigh, Ross?
我不想回答那个问题 假日结束后我胖了不少 I'd prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
我们说面对面时… You know, when we talked about face to face...
我们没有想清楚 ...I don't think we thought it all the way through.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
你看 Check it out.
我很有男子气概吧 How much of a man am I?
太棒了 你是男子汉也是个荡妇 Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.
你变成女人了 You're turning into a woman.
不 你为什么会那么说 那太伤人了 No, I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.
我惹毛你了 我说了什么 Now I've upset you? What did I say?
不是你说的话 是你的语气 Not what you said, it's just the way you said it.
天啊 我是个女人 Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
- 我睡得很熟 - 没错 - Great nap. - It really was.
我 男同志 不 Me? Gay? No. No. No.
但我有很多密友是男同志 Uh, but I have a number of close friends who are.
我们来谈谈女人 So let's talk about women.
我相信女性读者对你的爱情生活很有兴趣 I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
我会看着女人 跟她说 Oh, what I do is, I look a woman up and down and I say:
"嘿 你好吗 " "Hey. How you doing?"
拜托 Oh, please.
嘿 你好吗 Hey. How you doing?
他有一辆很棒的保时捷 He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
我很乐意让你们参观 但我才刚把它停好 它在休息 I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.
你们两个想去喝一杯吗 Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
- 瑞秋在吗 我是她妹妹 - 天啊 吉儿 - Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. - Oh, my God. Jill.
- 天啊 瑞秋 - 嗨 - Oh, my God. Rachel. - Oh, hi.
- 天啊 快帮我们介绍 - 他是钱德 - Oh, my God. Introduce us. - Well, this is Chandler.
- 嗨 - 你认识摩妮卡跟罗斯 - Hi. - You know Monica and Ross.
- 嗨 - 她是菲比 他是乔伊 - Hi. - And that's Phoebe. And that's Joey.
- 嘿 你好吗 - 不要 - Hey, how you doing? - Don't!
你是个好人 You're a really nice guy...
我喜欢当你的室友跟朋友 ...and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend.
我只是…你知道的 我对你没有那种感觉 I'm just... You know, I just don't feel that way about you.
我知道发生了什么事 Oh, I see what happened. Ha, ha.
那是因为我试着抗拒你 对吧 It's because I was trying to repel you. Right?
相信我 我发动攻势后 你会有不同的感觉 Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
- 我不那么认为 - 我那么认为 - I don't think so. - Oh, I do.
你好吗 How you doing?
我很好 I'm okay.
什么 天啊 What? Oh, dear God.
没什么好说的 我真的很害羞 Not much to tell there. I'm really shy.
好了 我猜我已经问完了 So that's it. I guess that's all I need.
谢谢你 Thank you so much.
我想应该下一期就会刊出 I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
太棒了 谢谢你 Oh, great. Great. Thank you.
- 再见 - 拜拜 - Bye. - Bye-bye.
- 我办到了 - 太棒了 - I did it. - Amazing.
等一下 我差点忘了 我们得问每个人这个问题 Oh, wait, I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this:
除了"我们的日子"以外 你最喜欢哪出肥皂剧 Other than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera?
我不看肥皂剧 抱歉 我的生活没那么无聊 Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?
谢谢你 "肥皂剧文摘"的读者… Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest...
知道那一点一定会很高兴 ...will be happy to learn that.
非常好 Oh. Good enough.
只差一点而已 So close.
我不敢相信 他们没登出… Wow, I can't believe they didn't put in the part...
你说你不看肥皂剧那一段 ...where you said you didn't watch soap operas.
我打电话告诉那个女记者 我是在开玩笑 Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was joking.
她接受了 She was pretty nice about it.
- 你跟她上床了 对吧 - 可以那么说 - You slept with her, didn't you? - A little bit. Yeah.
你这张照片蛮性感的 Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.
那是为了配合我的男同志影迷的喜好 Oh, yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
你在跟我眨眼睛吗 Did you just wink at me?
你喜欢那张照片 Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.