(梅西百货感恩节游行)
亲爱的 你可以帮我把盘子拿下来吗？ Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down?
嘿 我有个主意 我们今天用我们的结婚瓷盘好不好？ Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china today?
或者我们可以等到很特别的场合再用 No, I think we should save our china for something really special.
像是英国女皇来访的时候 Like if the queen of England comes over.
亲爱的 她一直取消跟我们的约 你还不懂那是什么意思吗？ Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint.
打破了怎么办呢？它们可是很贵的 What if something breaks? They're expensive.
东西摆着不用的意义何在呢？ What is the point of having them if we never use them?
好吧 但是如果打破了 然后女王又要来访… Okay. But if something breaks and then the queen comes over...
- 我会跟她解释 - 你以为我会让你跟她说话啊 - I will explain it to her. - Like I'd let you talk to the queen.
今年的游行真是棒 The parade is really good this year.
天啊 那些马还真能拉屎 Man, those horses can crap.
下一个游行队伍是来自 奥克拉荷马州的马斯科吉 Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma.
马斯科吉？离土尔沙 才四小时车程 Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa!
接下来是日间肥皂剧… Here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap...
《我们的日子》的众星们 Days of our Lives.
喔 我的天 Oh, my God!
你不是日间肥皂剧 《我们的日子》的众星之一吗？ Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days ofour Lives?
我忘了 我应该要参加游行的 I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!
我不敢相信我忘了 我通常会写在手臂上的 I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm!
烂长袖衣服 Stupid long sleeves!
- 你要怎么办呢？ - 我得找个好借口说明… - What are you gonna do? - I'll come up with a good reason...
我为什么没有到 why I wasn't there.
制作人一定会很生气 他们昨天把我们全都叫进去然后说… The producers are gonna be mad. They sat us down and said:
大家都要在早上六点整到 尤其是你 崔比亚尼 "Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp. That means you, Tribbiani."
好像我是什么笨蛋似的 Like I was some kind of idiot.
- 嗯 你刚好证明了他们是错的 - 是的 - Well, you proved them wrong. - Yeah.
喔 艾玛 Oh, Emma.
这是你第一个感恩节 This is your first Thanksgiving.
你要感谢什么呢？ What are you thankful for?
妈咪的胸部吗？ Mommy's boobies?
很多人都会感谢那东西的 A lot of people are thankful for those.
哈罗？瑞秋？ Hello? Rachel?
是谁？ Who is it?
是你最喜欢的妹妹 It's your favorite sister.
- 吉儿？ - 艾美 - Jill? - Amy!
把我的戒指藏起来 Hide my rings.
艾美 感恩节快乐 Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.
你有没有直发器呢？ Do you have a hair straightener?
嗨 Um... Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨 直发器 - Hi. - Hi.Hair straightener.
- 我有一年没见到你了 - 我知道 我知道 我忙翻了 - I haven't seen you in, like, a year. - I know. I've just been crazed.
喔 我也是 我生了小孩 Well, me too. I had a baby.
我把爸的办公室重新装修了一次 I decorated Dad's office.
是吗？除非你有把桌子从阴道挤出去 否则那可是不同的事 Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.
关于直发器的事 亲爱的 我真的需要 About that hair straightener, honey, I really need one.
我要到我男朋友家用晚餐 I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
- 喔 我的天 - 额 - Oh, my God. - Uh-huh.
这是爱门吗？ Is this Emmett?
是艾玛 It's Emma.
是个女生？ It's a girl?
- 嗨 艾美 - 艾美 你记得罗斯吧？ - Hey, Amy. - Amy, you remember Ross?
不太记得 Not really.
但是你比她之前的呆头鹅男友可爱多了 But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.
那个人就是我 That was me.
不 他是高中时代的怪男生 从好像是九年级… No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her...
就很喜欢她的 since, like, the ninth grade.
那还是我 Still me.
不 我不是在说你 No, I'm not talking about you.
那是你那个胖朋友的哥哥 留着可笑的圆蓬头 It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro.
好了 艾美 让我节省你的时间 都是我 Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!
小心 小心 Careful. Careful.
小心 Careful!
这样子好了 我们这一辈子… I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives...
我都会很小心 除非你要我做别的 I'll be careful until told otherwise.
- 这不是我们选的瓷盘 - 我知道 - This isn't the china we picked out. MONICA: I know.
在你离开店里之后 我选了别的 After you left the store, I chose different ones.
- 为什么？ - 你的品味对我而言太女性化了 - Why? - Your taste is a little feminine for me.
花朵什么时候变成女性化的象征了？ Suddenly flowers are feminine?
嘿 大家好 感恩节快乐 Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
- 感恩节快乐 菲比 - 怎么了 乔伊？ - Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs! - What's going on, Joe?
听着 我需要编个天衣无缝的谎 Listen, I need a good lie.
好的 Okay.
"人类走在月球上"那个谎言如何？ How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing, you know?
根本就可以看到线 真是的 You can see the strings, people!
不 不 我需要一个谎言来解释 为何我今天错过了工作的事 No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
- 亲爱的 你根本不会说谎 - 我会的 - Honey, you stink at lying. - I do not.
真的？让我问你 昨天发生在咖啡厅的事 Really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse...
我去上厕所 回来的时候我的松饼 就不见了 是谁拿走的？ I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
有人打开咖啡厅的大门… Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse...
然后一只小熊就跑进来 直接拿走你的松饼 我说… and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said:
"嘿 不能吃 那是菲比的" 然后他说… "Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" And he said...
他说"乔伊 你根本不会说谎" 我该怎么办呢？ He said, "Joey, you stink at lying." What am I gonna do?
别担心 我们会想个谎的 我会帮你的 Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie. I'll help you.
- 好 太棒了 谢谢你 - 真的 你错过了什么工作？ - Great. That'd be great. Thank you. - Sure. What was the work thing?
嗯 Uh...
- "到机场接奶奶" - 喔 天啊 - "Pick up Grandma at the airport." - Oh, man!
她真是个心肝宝贝 She's precious.
你会不会担心 她会遗传到你真正的鼻子？ Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?
艾美… Amy...
是的 我会 我真的会 Yes, I do. I really do.
喂？ Hello?
是 等一下 我可以到楼上讲吗？ Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
当然 我们不住在楼上 但是… Sure. We don't live there, but...
真的吗？只有这几间房间？ Seriously? It's just these rooms?
- 我以为你是医生 - 不 罗斯有博士学位 - I thought you were a doctor. - Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.
哦 Ew!
天啊 她真是不可思议 God, she is unbelievable.
对啊 博士学位就跟医学学位一样好啊 I know. I mean, a Ph.D. Is just as good as an MD.
是喔 罗斯 对啊 Sure, Ross, yeah!
如果我在餐厅时心脏病发 我会希望你跟你的化石刷子就在一旁 If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
- 烂感恩节 - 怎么了？ - Stupid Thanksgiving. - What?
- 怎么了？发生什么事？ - 我男朋友跟我取消约会了 - What? What happened? - My boyfriend canceled on me.
我好不容易才找到一段真感情 I mean, I finally find a real relationship.
一个可以跟我共度今天的人 然后他老婆竟然回来了 Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town!
我发誓 跟已婚男人约会真是不值得 I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.
别这样说 Don't say that.
天啊 我本来很期待今天的 God, I was so looking forward to this.
本来会是很美好的感恩节的 It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving.
我们本来要吃寿司的 We were gonna have sushi.
艾美 别哭 Amy, don't cry.
罗斯 我可以私下跟你谈谈吗？ Ross, can I talk to you in private?
当然 你想要去楼上或是…？ Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?
听着 我想如果摩妮卡不介意的话… Look, I was thinking, if it's okay with Monica...
我想要邀请艾美跟我们共度威恩节 I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
我认为这是个好主意 就像清教徒 I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims
把梅毒带来美国给印地安人一样 bringing the Indians syphilis.
听着 我知道她有点难搞 Look, I know she's a little tough to take.
但是她没有其他地方可以去了 而且她是我妹妹 是艾玛的阿姨 But she has nowhere else to go, and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt.
- 而我想要让她们相处融洽 - 我不要她们相处太融洽 - And I would like them to bond. - I don't want them bonding too much.
我不要她告诉艾玛说 她需要整形 I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
罗斯 她很可能会需要的 我们也只能接受了 Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that!
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi! - Hey.
嘿 大伙儿 这是我妹妹艾美 Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy.
这是钱德 乔伊 菲比 还有你认识的摩妮卡 This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and you know Mon.
- 嗨 - 喔 我的天 - Hi. - Oh, my God.
你有演《我们的日子》 You're on Days of our Lives!
是的 Yeah.
哇 他们一定是帮你画很浓的妆 Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you.
感恩节快乐 Happy Thanksgiving.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey - Hi.
欢迎 这是你第一次见到艾玛吗？ So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?
是的 我想是的 很高兴认识你 艾玛 Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma.
- 菲比 - 那声音真好玩 - Phoebe. - That's a funny noise.
- 菲比？我还需要你帮我 - 好的 - Pheebs? I still need some help here. - Right. Okay.
不止是你说的谎官本身 你说的方式也很重要 例如… So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example...
如果你说的时候看着地上 人们就知道你在说谎 if you look at the ground when you talk, people know you're lying.
我不知道为什么这对我如此困难 说谎基本上就跟演戏一样 I don't know why this is so hard for me. Lying is basically just acting...
- 而我可是演技精湛的演员 - 你是演技精湛的演员 - and I am a terrific actor. - You are a terrific actor.
- 嘿 婴儿在哪里呢？ - 我们刚把她抱去睡了 - Hey. Where's the baby? - We just put her down for a nap.
听着 我刚刚在想 你们知道什么事会很棒吗？ Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible?
就是如果你们死了 If you guys died!
谢谢你 艾美 Thank you, Amy.
不是 不是 这样子我就可以得到婴儿 No, no, then I would get the baby.
就像是电影情节一样刚开始我会全无头绪 It would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her.
然后时机来临时 我会完全改变 然后结婚去 And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married.
很棒的电影 That's a great movie!
听着 反正你们也不能阻止我… Yeah. Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything...
因为你们已经死了 because, you know, you'd be dead.
但是我想要帮她改名字 But I was thinking about changing her name.
我就是不大喜欢艾蜜莉 I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
艾玛 Emma.
艾玛？罗斯在叫你 Emma? Ross wants you.
菲比 Phoebe!
她为什么一直发出那种怪声呢？ Why does she keep making that noise?
亲爱的 我不知道要如何告诉你 Honey, I don't know how to tell you this...
但是如果我跟罗斯发生了什么事 but if something were to happen to Ross or myself...
- 你不会得到婴儿的 - 那 谁会呢？ - you wouldn't get the baby. - Well, who would?
嗯 我们还没有正式问过他们 Well, we haven't officially asked them yet...
但是我们会希望是摩妮卡跟钱德 but we would want Monica and Chandler.
我不敢相信你们要我们抚养艾玛 I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
喔 我的天 我真是太感动了 Oh, my God, I'm so moved.
我不敢相信 等一下 你们死了… I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die...
然后婴儿不是我的？ and I don't get your baby?
艾美 我们跟摩妮卡跟钱德比较亲近 Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler.
我们每天都见面 而且老实说 你好像也不太亲近婴儿 We see them every day. And truthfully, you don't seem connected to the baby.
亲近？亲近什么？她只是一堆肉 Connected? To what? She's a lump.
我必须要跟你们说 这对我意义重大 You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me.
我是说 你们肯托负 你们的孩子给我 I mean, that you would trust me with your child.
大家都知道摩妮卡跟我一直试着… I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been...
想要生小孩 trying to have a baby of our own.
我也有怀疑过 自己当父亲的能力 但是… You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but...
你们两个… That you two...
- 你们两个… - 这个人吗？ - That you two... - This guy?
真的吗？ Seriously?
好了 晚餐时间到了 Okay, it's time for dinner.
各位 我们将使用我们的精致瓷盘 Everyone, we're using our fancy china...
它们是很贵的 所以请小心 and it's very expensive, so please be careful.
啊 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa...
好了 再说明一次 不要拿这些盘子开玩笑 Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received.
嘿 Hey!
为什么我的盘子不如别人的精致？ How come my plate's less fancy than everyone else's?
你不信任我 不让我用你的精致养盘吗？ Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
不 亲爱的 那是特别的盘子 No, honey. That's a special plate.
这是一个游戏 拿到那盘子的人就是赢家 See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins.
我不敢相信我赢了 I can't believe I won!
这真的很侮辱 我是你妹妹… You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister...
你却可以把婴儿给这些陌生人而不给我 and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
摩妮卡是罗斯的妹妹 Monica is Ross' sister.
不 罗斯的妹妹很胖的 No, Ross' sister was really fat.
那就是我 That was me.
不 她是个蠢蠢的女生 在学校时就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋 No, she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy...
艾美 我不许你再这样了 Amy, you've got to stop doing that!
好了 我知道你现在正在经历家庭危机 Okay, listen, I know you're having a bit of a family crisis...
但是你不需要把气出在盘子身上 but you don't have to take it out on the plates.
其实我认为每个人… I mean, in fact, I think that everyone...
都应该这样切食物 should cut their food like this:
现在 看到了吗？这样不只可以保护盘子… Now, see? This way, you protect the plates...
而且还挺好玩的 and let's face it, you have fun.
好吧 要是这样呢？如果你们死了… Okay, how about this? If you guys die...
而且疯狂盘子女士也死了… and the crazy plate lady dies...
- 那我可以得到婴儿吗？ - 不 如果疯狂盘子女… - then do I get the baby? - No, if crazy plate lady...
如果摩妮卡死了 那艾玛就是我的了 对吗？ If Monica dies, then I would get Emma. Right?
- 嗯 其实… - 怎样？ - Well, actually... - Actually what?
只是… 如果是那样的话… It's just... It's just that in that case...
那艾玛就会去跟我父母亲住 then Emma would go to my parents.
- 什么？ - 很伤你的心 对不对？ - What? - Hurts, doesn't it?
我要等谁死了才能得到她？ Who has to die for me to get her?
所以如果摩妮卡不在了 我就没有资格抚养艾玛了？ So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
不 我们不是这个意思 No, that is not what we're saying.
他在说谎 他看了地上 Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.
那我有什么不好的呢？我无能吗？ Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent?
因为无论是什么东西杀了你们三个 我都存活了下来 Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
你反应过度了 我们认为你会是很好的父亲 You're taking this the wrong way. We think you'll be a wonderful parent.
只是…你是比较风趣的父亲 It's just... You're more the, you know, fun parent.
是的 我们想要确定艾玛也有像 摩妮卡这样的人照顾 Yeah, and we wanna make sure Emma also has someone like Monica...
比较有纪律的人 who's more of a disciplinarian.
比较坚定严格的人 Someone who can be firm and strict.
你们对我的感觉不是真的那样吧？ That's not how you see me, is it?
不 你真的很好玩 No, you're all about the fun.
我或许不是很了解婴儿 但是你们真的认为我没有能力吗？ I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
不 你们两个能力相当 No. You both are equally capable.
只不过你们在一起的时候是最强的 It's just you're strongest when you're together.
好的 如果我们有艾玛 然后我死了… Okay. So if we both had Emma, and I died...
她也不能拥有她 she'd have to give her up.
当然 摩妮卡也必须把她让出来 Sure. Monica would have to give her up.
我说谎说的至少比他好 对吧？ I lie better than that, right?
让我搞清楚 如果我的两个朋友死了 我得到艾玛 Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma.
然后我老婆死了 那我生命中剩下的 唯一一小块希望 艾玛… Then my wife dies. Then Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life...
- 也会从我身边被带走？ - 演的好精彩哦 - gets taken away from me? - There's your movie.
嘿 你在这里 Hey, there you are.
- 你在晚餐之后就消失了 - 有人想念我吗？ - You disappeared after dinner. - Did somebody miss me?
有婴儿需要被无能的父亲抚养长大吗？ Was there a child to raise poorly?
罗斯跟瑞秋根本什么都不懂 Ross and Rachel don't know what they're saying.
他们自己也不是多有责任感 It's not like they're so responsible.
艾玛只不过是一瓶红酒 跟一个过期保险套的产品 Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom.
不 他们是对的 我不是强悍的父亲 我永远都不会是 No, but they're right. I'm not a strong father figure, and I never will be.
不 这些是要学习的 你会逐渐学会的 No, you learn these things. You grow into it.
是的 但那就不是我了 Yeah, but it's not who I am.
他们说的一切 都是我担心有小孩之后 会面对的问题 是真的 Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true.
- 而且 大家都知道 - 我并不知道 - And look, everybody knows it. - I don't know it.
我要跟你生小孩因为我认为 你会是很棒的父亲 I wanna have a kid with you because I think you'll be an amazing dad.
不管是风趣还是有纪律 At the fun parts and at the hard parts.
那你可以想像我说 "回房去 你被禁足了"吗？ Well, can you picture me saying, "Go to your room, you're grounded"?
你可以想像我说"你被禁足了"吗？ Can you hear me say, "You're grounded"?
你上星期才那样对我说 You said that to me last week.
我叫你不要穿着鞋子踏在家具上 到底有多难呢？ How hard is it? "No shoes on the furniture!"
制作人刚刚留言 问我为什么没有参加游行 The producer from Days left a message asking why I wasn't at the parade.
他说大家都对我很不爽 而且他们都有见到圣诞老公公 They said everybody's really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa!
没关系 我帮你想了一个完美谎盲 It's okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you.
很容易记 而且不会引来更多的问题 It's easy to remember, and it doesn't invite a lot of questions.
你没有参加游行 因为家里出了紧急状况 You weren't at the parade, because you had a family emergency.
我喜欢 耶 I like that! Yeah!
我没有参加游行 因为家里出了紧急状况 I wasn't at the parade, because I had a family emergency.
发生什么事？ What happened?
- 我姐的浣熊… - 不 别提浣熊 - My sister's raccoon came... - No, nothing with a raccoon!
- 等等 你们在做什么？ - 摆餐具 - Wait, what are you doing? - Setting the table.
我们觉得用这些精致餐盘来吃甜点 应该也很不错 We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
很不错 或许等一下我们可以 去拿我的结婚礼服来换鼻涕 How nice. Maybe later we can all blow our noses on my wedding dress.
嘿 兄弟 你还好吗？刚刚的事我很抱歉 Hey, dude, you okay? Sorry about before.
没关系 你完全是对的 我根本就不知道如何管教孩子 That's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child.
但是我还是很伤心 而且我要你知道 如果我死了… But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die...
你别想得到乔伊 you don't get Joey.
如果你还没注意到 我现在不会跟你说话的 In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
真的是… 这是典型的瑞秋 You know, this is just... This is classic Rachel.
对喔 记得在高中我死的时候 也没有把我的婴儿给你吗？ Right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
这或许是我唯一拥有小孩的机会 瑞秋 This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel.
你知道我一直忙于我的事业… I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career...
- 什么事业？ - 我是室内设计师 - What career? - I'm a decorator.
你装修了爸的办公室 就是设计师了吗？ You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator?
好的 我昨天去了动物园 现在我就是无尾熊了 Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.
- 你为什么不能多支持我一点？ - 你要谈支持吗？ - Why can't you ever be supportive? - You want to talk supportive?
我在医院生小孩时你可没有来看过我 You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby!
我在医院整形嘴唇时你也没有来看我 You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done!
我第一次有去 I did the first time.
你想知道我为什么不要 把艾蜜莉给你吗？ You know what? You want to know why I am not giving Emily to you?
- 是艾玛 - 你是站谁那边的？ - Emma. - Whose side are you on?!
我不给你艾玛 是因为你无法扛起 照顾小孩子的责任 I'm not giving you Emma, because you can't handle the responsibility of a child.
那有多难呢？你都做得到 Well, how hard could it be? You do it.
哦呵 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
你知道你为什么 不想让我得到婴儿吗？ You wanna know why you don't want me to have the baby?
因为你不想看到我快乐 Because you don't want me to be happy.
- 你总是在忌妒我 - 忌妒你什么？ - You have always been jealous of me. - Jealous of what?
忌妒你没有责任感吗？还是你的不成熟？ Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity?
你那种完全忽略别人感受的作为吗？ Your total disregard for other people's feelings?
这只是其中几项 To name a few.
你总是这样 You've always been like this.
你总是要所有的东西 而我什么都得不到 You had to have everything, and I couldn't have anything.
就像在国中的时候 你抢走我的提米 Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me.
你知道那伤我有多深吗？ I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
提米是我的男朋友 而你跟他偷亲热 Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him!
别这样 那已经是二十年前的事了 别太记恨 Come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.
我不敢相信我在今天邀请了你 I cannot believe that I invited you here today!
是喔 你知道我不能相信什么吗？我所谓的姐姐… Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister...
有罗夫罗兰七折的折扣优惠 而我却要付零售价 gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail?
是五五折 It's 45.
你这个贱人 You bitch.
你就是认为你很完美… You just think you're so perfect...
拥有你的新生儿 还有你的小公寓 with your new baby and your small apartment.
让我告诉你一件事 你的婴儿并不怎么可爱 Well, let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
太过分了 艾美 太过分了 Too far, Amy. Too far.
- 你收回那句话 - 不 - You take that back. - No.
- 收回那句话 - 不 你能怎样呢？强迫我吗？ - Take it back! - No. What are you gonna do? Make me?
嘿 我有上健身房 Hey, man, I work out!
- 我也有 - 我有做彼拉提斯 - So do I. - I do Pilates.
- 我有做瑜珈 - 放 马过来 - I do yoga. - Bring it on!
盘子放到箱子里 盘子放到箱子里 Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes!
- 你刚刚谁了我吗？ - 是的 没错 - Did you just push me? - Yeah, I think I did.
好了 够了 All right, that's it.
别管气泡垫了 没有时间了 Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time!
卷 卷 卷 Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!
- 我们应该阻止她们吗？ - 你疯了吗？ - Shouldn't we stop this? - Are you out of your mind?
我们应该倒一些果冻到她们身上 Let's throw some Jell-O on them!
恶心 Gross!
好了 到此为止 这是我们家 你们不可以有这种行为 All right, that is it! This is our apartment, and you cannot behave this way!
如果你们不能表现得像成人 你们就不应该在这里 If you can't act your age, you shouldn't be here at all.
那些瓷盘或许没有像我挑的那些粉红色瓷盘好看… Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out...
但是它们对摩妮卡很重要 而我要你们现在就跟她道歉 but they're important to Monica. And I want you to apologize to her now.
- 我很抱歉 - 摩妮卡 我很抱歉 - I'm sorry. - Mon, I'm so sorry.
好了 这样好多了 Okay. That's better.
现在 我要你们诚心地跟彼此道歉 Now, I want you to apologize to each other and mean it.
- 对不起 - 对不起 - Sorry. - Sorry.
对了 刚才那场架真是让人情欲高涨 By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
干的好 Dude, well done.
如果我跟瑞秋还有摩妮卡死了 你可以照顾艾玛 If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies, you can totally take care of Emma.
是吗？谢谢 Yeah? Well, thanks.
那… 那我可以得到乔伊吗？ So... So now do I get Joey?
好的 但是你得知道他一天吃五餐 而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里 Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose.
你还好吗 摩妮卡？ - Are you okay, Mon? - Uh-huh.
这种事常发生的 只不过是盘子而已 I mean, these things happen. I mean, it's just a plate.
- 又不像是有人死了 - 没关系的 你可以哀悼的 - It's not like somebody died. - It's all right. You can mourn.
谢谢你 这些本来都很漂亮的 Thank you. It was so beautiful!
我要去乔伊家拿几个派 I'm gonna go to Joey's and get the pies.
事实上 不是几个派 是一个派 Actually, not pies. It's just pie.
我不在乎 I don't care.
天啊 我已经失去唠叨的力气了 Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold.
听着 艾美… Look, Amy...
我们有一点… we got a little...
失去了理智 a little out-of-control over there.
我很抱歉 And I'm sorry.
你是我妹妹… You're my sister...
如果你真的很在乎… and if it really means that much to you...
- 那你要给我你的婴儿了吗？ - 不 我只是… - So you're gonna give me the baby? - No, I was...
我只是要让你用我的罗夫罗兰折和 I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
你不会后悔的 You are not gonna regret this.
- 她要换尿布了 - 不 不 不 让我去 - She needs changing. - No, no, no. I'll get her.
我超级有自信 完全有责任感 而且是扶养艾玛第四顺位的人 I am super confident, totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma.
我马上就来 艾玛 先让我拿一下我的尿片袋子 I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here.
人算不如天算 我想我将是第一个死的人 Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first.
- 摩妮卡知道瓷盘的事吗？ - 不知道 - Does Monica know about her plates? CHANDLER: Nope.
- 全都打破了 是吗？ - 是的 - Broke them all, huh? - Yep.
- 你要告诉她吗？ - 不想 - You gonna tell her? - Nope.
嘿 我要把这些盘子放回去 Hey. So I'm gonna put the plates back.
我想你是对的 我们近期内不应该 再用这些盘子 I think you're right. We shouldn't use these plates for a long time.
- 只有女皇来的时候才用吗？ - 或许那也不是时候 - Like only if the queen comes? - Maybe not even then.
嘿 我办到了 Hey. I did it.
我告诉我的制作人说 我家里发生紧急事件 他完全相信我 I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it.
- 谢谢你教我如何说谎 - 不用客气 下星期教你偷窃 - Thanks for teaching me how to lie. - No problem. Next week, stealing.
- 再见 盘子 - 你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？ - Bye, plates. - You told her you broke all the plates?
什么？盘子发生什么事了吗？ What?! Something happened with the plates?
是啊 一只浣熊跑进来… Yeah, this raccoon came in...