我是丽莎克姆林 很高兴和格雷厄姆保罗 Lisa Cramlin here with Graham Paul,
为您分析今天下午 里士满对阵阿森纳的比赛 breaking down this afternoon's Richmond-Arsenal match.
-欢迎 格雷厄姆 -很高兴来到这个节目 丽莎 -Welcome, Graham. -Pleasure to be here, Lisa.
今天对于罗伊肯特而言 是连续几次失利后的另一个艰难的日子 So today was another tough day for Roy Kent in a stretch of bad days.
在他过去的九场比赛中 肯特已经... In his last nine games, Kent has had...
...而他的失误率几乎翻倍 ...while his turnovers have nearly doubled.
今天 这个丢脸的乌龙球... And today, it was an ignominious own goal...
你在这儿啊 There you are.
大家都走了吗? Everyone gone?
是的 除了罗哈斯 Yes, sir. Well, except Rojas.
那孩子还在球场上做练习呢 Darn kid's out on the practice pitch still doing drills.
真要命 What a fucking asshole.
-是啊 -对 -Right? -Yeah.
有人点了罗伊加冰块吗? Somebody order a Roy on the rocks, huh?
感觉如何? How we doing in here?
太凉了 伙计 That is cold, man.
光是看着你泡在水里我都要打哆嗦了 Just looking at you in there is making me all chilly inside.
你能直接说我搞砸了然后离开吗? Can you just tell me I fucked up and then go?
我不会这么做的 伙计 Not gonna do that, bud.
我害我们输了比赛 我是个废物 I lost us the game. I'm a piece of shit.
冷静点 你今天很难熬 没什么大不了的 Easy now. You had a bad day. Big whoop.
“没什么大不了”? "Big whoop"?
是的 没什么大不了的 Yeah, big whoop.
你自责的样子像是 伍迪艾伦吹了单簧管一样 You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet.
我不想听 好吗? I don't wanna hear it. All right?
所以 别这样了 别太苛责自己了 好吗? So just, you know, knock it off. Go easy on yourself. Okay?
嘿 我永远支持你 任何事都不会改变这一点 Hey. I got your back. Ain't nothing gonna change that.
看看你这样子 简直像是棕头发的“怨妇奥斯卡” Look at you in there, looking like a brunette Oscar the Grouch.
-开灯还是关掉? -关掉 -On or off? -Off.
你别再这样了 拜托了罗伊 为了我们 为你自己 You gotta stop holding on, Roy, please, for us, for you.
翻过这篇吧 Let it go.
-这就对了 -你好 罗伊 -There you go. -Hola, Roy.
我们休息一下 稍候 We're taking a break. When we return,
我们来看一下杰米塔特在曼城的优秀表现 we'll take a look at Jamie Tartt's brilliant day for Manchester City.
(从前有一个老人叫肯特...)
很好 就这样 美极了 That's it. Right there. Yep. Beautiful.
糟糕 你要小心点了 凯特摩丝 Oh, snap. Watch your back, Kate Moss.
英国模特界出现了一位新星 There's a new bad girl on the British modeling scene.
-是吧? -好的 我想可以了 -Huh? Yeah? -Okay, I think we've got it.
我给你带了这个 以防你需要一点饼干助力 Brought these in case you need a little biscuit boost. Yeah?
天啊 你做这些事会紧张吗? Man, oh, man. You get nervous doing this kind of stuff?
就是一个描写足球界的女性的文章 没什么大不了的 It's a profile on women in football. It's not a big deal.
我们四个人 我、凯伦、迪莉娅 和辣妹维多利亚 There's, like, four of us: me, Karen, Delia and Posh Spice.
作为一个偶像可是责任重大的 Come on, now. Being a role model's a huge deal.
也许某个角落里会有一个小女孩 Don't you realize that there's probably a little girl out there somewhere
穿着小号的茄子色的有权力意味的套装 rocking a tiny eggplant-colored power suit,
梦想着某一天会成为体育高管 and she's just dreaming about becoming a sports executive someday.
她会读到这篇文章 她会想 She's gonna read this article and she's gonna think,
“天呀 我的梦想是可以实现的” "Holy smokes. My dreams are possible."
在你设想的情境里 小女孩会读 《足球金融周刊》? In this scenario of yours, little girls read The Football Financial Quarterly?
谁知道呢?小女孩的心思猜不透 Well, who knows? Little girls are mysterious.
而且愚蠢、充满力量 我很多年前 就放弃猜测她们的心思了 And silly and powerful. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago.
我希望希金斯能看到这一幕 Tell you what, I wish Higgins was here to see this,
因为他肯定也会为你高兴的 'cause he'd be real happy for you too.
这可不一定 泰德 I don't know about that, Ted.
希金斯决定辞职的时候 他明确表达了 When Higgins decided to quit, he made it quite clear
对我的看法 并不是很正面 what he thought about me, and it wasn't supportive.
不是的 你这种想法很消极 好吗? Nope. I'm filing that under stinkin' thinkin' right there. Okay?
我向你保证 他会回心转意的 I guarantee you, he'll come around.
-好吧 我要换个话题了 -好的 -Right. I'm changing the subject. -Go ahead.
进入决赛周了 团队的士气如何? How's the team morale going into the final weekend?
上一次输球 我还很伤心呢 I mean, I'm still heartbroken about the last loss.
你有吗? Are you?
当然了 Of course.
-嗨 基莉 -嗨 泰德 -Hey, Keeley. -Hi, Ted.
汤姆福德市场部的人有联系你吗? Hey, did those marketing folks from Tom Ford ever get back to you?
嗯 他们联系我了 Yeah, they did.
他们说会继续用现有的模特 They said they're gonna stick with the models they already have.
真可惜 Nuts.
我知道 但他们也说了 I know. But they did say
如果他们做素人广告或是讽刺性的广告 that if they ever do an everyman campaign or something satirical,
会考虑你的 your name's on their list.
好哎 可以嘛 还不赖 All right. There you go. That's not bad.
我能跟你单独聊几句吗 瑞贝卡? Can I borrow you for a second, Rebecca?
进来 Come on.
我的天呀 这里一股臭脚丫子味 My God, it smells of feet in here.
味道太冲了 I mean, it just hits you immediately, doesn't it?
一股热气 脚臭味直往鼻子里钻 你闻到了吗? It's hot. Like feet funk, right up your nose. Can you smell it?
你真是一个言而无信的混蛋 瑞贝卡 You're being a right floppy cock, Rebecca.
你为什么还没告诉泰德? Why haven't you told Ted yet?
我打算说的 I'm going to.
什么时候? When?
想象一下 你对某个无辜的人 做了不可饶恕的事 Imagine doing something unforgivable to someone who doesn't deserve it
然后你要看着对方的眼睛 坦白自己所做的一切 and then having to look them in the eye and tell them what you've done.
我不需要想象 我干过这种事 I don't have to imagine. I've done it.
八年级的时候 我在乔安娜威灵顿的储物柜里拉了屎 Year Eight, I took a shit in Joanna Wellington's locker.
我道歉了 I apologized,
她邀请我参加她的生日派对 一周后我们就和好如初了 I was uninvited to her birthday party, and then we patched it up a week later.
快点告诉他 Just fucking tell him.
抱歉 你为什么要在她的储物柜里拉屎? Sorry, why did you do a shit in her locker?
我不知道 我当时13岁 I don't know. I was 13.
干嘛?青春期的女孩就是又神秘又黑暗 又危险啊 What? Teenage girls are, like, mysterious and dark and dangerous.
-好吧 -这不是重点! -All right. -That is not the point!
-好吧 -天啊 -Okay. -Oh, God.
抱歉 哇 Sorry. Wow.
我知道女人喜欢鞋 但是 姑娘们 拜托 这太蠢了 I know women like shoes, but, girls, come on, this is silly.
抱歉 我这句是性别歧视 Sorry, that was really sexist.
我只是没料到这里会有人 I just wasn't expecting there to be anyone in here.
但你们在 好极了 But you are in here, and that's great.
你们继续 我走了 抱歉 Take as long as you need. Yeah. I'll go. Sorry.
现在告诉泰德有什么意义呢? I mean, what would be the point of telling Ted now?
什么都不会改变 It doesn't change anything.
会改变我对你的看法 It would change how I feel about you.
大卫 我们本赛季还有最后一场 对阵曼城的比赛 You know, David, we got one final game this season against Man City,
我们的目标是像威利奈尔森一样 让大家”嗨”到 and our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high.
好吗? Yeah?
特伦特克里姆 请问吧 How about Trent Crimm?
如果我没记错的话 你是《星球日报》的 对吗? And if memory serves, you're from the Daily Planet, yeah?
特伦特克里姆 《独立报》的 Trent Crimm, The Independent.
啊 对 好吧 你有什么问题 特伦特? Yes. That's the one. Okay. What's your question, Trent?
很多年轻球员在您执教期间都有所提升 Many of your young players have improved during your tenure.
但是路易肯特 Then there's Roy Kent.
他在上一场比赛中表现欠佳 您对此有什么看法? He played dismally last match. Thoughts?
我觉得你可以问罗伊本人 他会告诉你他只是状态不好 Well, I think you could ask Roy himself. He'd tell you it wasn't his best day.
但我现在可以告诉你的是 But I'll let you know right now
罗伊肯特是这个队伍的支柱 that Roy Kent is the backbone of this team.
好了 我们换个方式吧 All right, let's mix it up in here a little.
如果你们是内向型的 请举手 If you're an introvert, I want y'all to raise your hand.
下一个问题由你们来问 You guys get the next few questions.
上当了吧! That was a trick!
如果你们都是内向型 那你们此时 肯定像教堂里的老鼠一样安静 If y'all were really introverts, you would've been quiet as a church mouse.
除非是韦斯特博罗浸信会教堂 那些土耳其人总是喋喋不休 Unless that church was Westboro Baptist. Those turkeys won't shut up.
嗨 伙计们 怎么了? Hi, guys. What's up?
请坐 Please have a seat.
好的 Okay.
你们这样子像是要表演即兴喜剧 I feel like y'all are about to do some improv comedy
或是告诉我你们要约会了 or tell me that you're dating each other.
不管是哪种 我都没意见 因为我们是同盟 Either one's cool with me. 'Cause your suggestion is ally.
我们要把罗伊从首发阵容中除名 We have to take Roy out of the starting lineup.
这样啊 好的 I see. Okay.
那不仅是一次比赛失利 教练 It wasn't just one bad game, Coach.
他年纪大了 He's showing his age,
过去的五场比赛中 他都犯了严重的错误 and he's made significant mistakes in each of the last five matches.
我们只是还没有被这些错误“咬到屁股” We just haven't been bitten in the ass by them yet.
但昨天我们的屁股上已经有牙印了 But yesterday our butts had teeth marks.
很深的那种 你通常需要付钱的那种 Deep ones. The kind you usually have to pay for.
(瑞贝卡 即“老板” 我需要跟你谈谈)
伙计们...我不会让罗伊坐冷板凳 Guys... I'm not benching Roy.
他是我们的队长 He's our captain.
但我希望你们知道 我在乎每一个人的意见 But I want you to know that I value each of your opinions.
即便是错误的意见 Even when they're wrong.
我刚才真心期待这是即兴喜剧的 I was really hoping it was going to be improv.
我得走了 I'm Audi 5000.
-你花钱让人咬你? -不 当然不是了 -You paid someone to bite you? -No, of course not.
抱歉 我... Sorry. I...
我是收钱的那个 Been paid.
在哪? Where?
嘿 你好吗? Hey. What's up?
我有件事要告诉你 I have something I need to tell you.
洗耳恭听 I'm all ears.
好吧 我就不拐弯抹角了 Right, I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
我会...直截了当 I'm just gonna... get straight to the point.
不扯那些有的没的 因为很招人烦 No faffing around, 'cause that's just annoying,
也绝对不会拖延时间 and definitely no procrastinating.
拖延...这个词挺不错的 是吧? Procrast-- Procrast-- That's a good word, isn't it?
拖延 Procrastinating. Procrastinating.
我想知道这个词的词源是什么 I wonder what the etymology of that word is.
显然 “Pro”意思是“赞同” 但“crast”?Crast... Obviously, "pro," very good, but "crast"? Crast...
我不知道 嘿!我们查查好了 I have no idea. Hey! Why don't we look it up?
-你有字典吗? -我身上没有 你还好吗? -Have you got a dictionary? -Not on me. Are you doing okay?
-我? -对 -Me? -Yeah.
我好极了! I'm brilliant!
是的 我好得不能再好了 Yeah, I am top of the pops.
泰德 你能晚点再来吗? Ted, do you think you could do this later?
当然 没问题 我就按一下快退按钮 Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll just hit the rewind button.
天啊 Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
告诉他啊 我是个大人了 Just do it. Just do it. I'm a big girl.
我可以的...振作起来 I can fucking just-- Just tidy up your mess.
振作起来 好了 天啊 Tidy up your mess. Right. Oh, God.
惊喜 Surprise.
-鲁伯特 -你看上去很紧张 -Rupert. -You seem anxious.
希金斯去哪了? Where's Higgins?
我把他炒了 I fired him.
为什么?希金斯可是一流的员工 Why? Higgins is first class.
他唯一的缺点是 Except the only negative about the man
每次他跟我借了一支笔 was that whenever he borrowed a pen from me,
他都会像一只好动的小狗崽一样啃笔头 he would nibble the top like some anxious little puppy.
乖狗狗 Good boy.
他已经不在了 Yeah, well, he's gone.
真可惜 也许他现在会接住我的橄榄枝 Shame. Oh, well. Maybe he'll accept my offer now.
听着 鲁伯特 你来这里 是打算买下俱乐部还是... Look, Rupert, are you here to try and buy back the club or--
不是 我想亲自告诉你一件事 免得你从其他人那里听到 No, I wanted to tell you something before you heard it somewhere else.
我和贝克丝要有孩子了 Bex and I are having a baby.
又是一个惊喜 Surprise, again.
-但你不是说... -我以为我们可以成熟地看待这件事 -But you always said that-- -I thought we could be mature about this.
你够成熟了 好吧 You're mature enough, all right.
你都快70了 你还要生孩子? You're nearly 70, and you're having a baby?
你是什么 活在《圣经》里的人物吗? I mean, what are you, a character from the fucking Bible?
等你的孩子到了青春期 When your kid hits puberty,
你就只剩下一堆灰了 外加一张运通黑卡 you'll be nothing but a pile of dust and a black Amex card.
亲爱的 Now, now, darling.
别这么叫我 Don't call me that.
人是会变的 我想要孩子了 People change. I do want a child.
我想我只是不愿意跟... I just suppose I didn't want one with...
之前不想 Before.
说到底 最重要的是 和对的人在一起 不是吗? I mean, in the end, it's just about being with the right person, isn't it?
当然了 Of course.
我真开心能当面告诉你这个消息 I'm so glad I got to tell you this in person.
我不希望你从媒体上得知 I would have hated for you to read it in the press.
祝你们和曼城的比赛好运 Good luck against Man City.
我有件事要告诉你 I have something I need to tell you.
似曾相识 Déjà vu.
我就是个贱人 I'm a fucking bitch.
好吧 这是头一遭 Nope, that's new.
泰德 我骗了你 Ted, I lied to you.
我雇你是因为我希望这支球队输 I hired you because I wanted this team to lose.
我想让你失败 I wanted you to fail,
而且只要有机会 我就会搞破坏 and I sabotaged you every chance I've had.
是我找了摄影师偷拍你和基莉 It was me who hired that photographer to take the photo of you and Keeley.
我安排了特伦特克里姆采访你 希望他能够羞辱你 I set up the interview with Trent Crimm, hoping that he would humiliate you.
我还唆使了杰米塔特的转会 And I instigated the transfer of Jamie Tartt,
尽管你要我别那么做 even though you'd asked me not to.
这个俱乐部是鲁伯特唯一在乎的东西 我想毁掉它 This club is all that Rupert has ever cared about, and I wanted to destroy it.
把他带给我的伤害和痛苦如数奉还 To cause him as much pain and suffering as he has caused me.
我不在乎利用了谁 或是伤害了谁 And I didn't care who I used or who I hurt.
你们这些好人只是一门心思地想做出改变 All you good people just trying to make a difference.
泰德 我真的很抱歉 Ted, I'm so sorry.
如果你想辞职或是告诉媒体 我完全理解 If you want to quit or call the press, I'll completely understand.
我原谅你了 I forgive you.
你...什么?为什么? You-- What? Why?
离婚是很难过的 Divorce is hard.
不论你是离开的人 It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving
还是被抛弃的人 or if... you're the one who got left.
离婚会让人做出疯狂的事 It makes folks do crazy things.
天 我现在给足球队当教练 在伦敦 Hell, I'm coaching soccer for heaven's sake. In London.
这够疯狂的了 I mean, that's nuts.
是啊 Yeah.
但你给我的这份工作改变了我的人生 But this job you gave me has changed my life.
给了我足够远的距离 让来让我审视 我的生活究竟发生了什么 It gave me the distance I needed to see what was really going on.
是的 但是你和我... Yeah, but you and me...
我们之间没事 We're okay.
泰德 Ted.
来嘛 握个手 我胳膊都酸了 Come on, just shake this hand. My arm's starting to get--
我一直认为如果你还有在乎的人 You know, I think that if you care about someone
那说明你的心中依然有爱 and you got a little love in your heart,
只要心在一起就没有过不去的坎 there ain't nothing you can't get through together.
你明白我的意思吗? You know what I'm saying?
你不仅在说我们俩的事 对吗? You're not just talking about us now, are you?
也许是 也许不是 Maybe. Maybe not.
好吧 Okay.
我要换衣服去训练了 不对 是练习 I'm gonna go change for practice-- training.
随便了 管他呢? Whatever. Who cares?
很高兴看到你 老板 Nice seeing you down here, boss.
你让这里蓬荜生辉 You liven up the place.
好了 我们开始吧 All right, let's get it going, huh?
过来 集合 快点 Let's go. Gather up. Come on, now.
好了 伙计们 你们要记住 你们的身体就像隔夜的米饭 All right, fellas, you gotta remember, your body is like day-old rice.
如果没好好加热 就会出现严重后果 If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen.
食物中毒可不是开玩笑的 Food poisoning is no joke.
有一次 我呕吐不止 One time, I was being sick,
与此同时 我还拉肚子 and at the same time, I was having diarrhea.
是啊 是会有这种情况 还有人想分享吗? Yep. That'll happen. Anybody else wanna share?
人可以同时呕吐和拉稀吗? To be able to do both those things at the same time?
人类的身体真是个奇迹 The body is a miracle.
是啊 很好的视角 谢谢 Yeah. Good perspective. I appreciate that.
伙计们 我们都知道速度很关键 So, fellas, we all know speed is important.
但能够迅速停下并转换方向呢? But being able to stop and change directions quickly?
那就像是肯伊的专辑《808秒和心碎》 Well, that's like Kanye's 808s & Heartbreak.
完全被低估了 It don't get nearly enough credit.
好了 大家在内特放置锥形桶 的位置站好 快点 Okay, so let's line up on these cones Nate put out. Let's go.
好了 我们这么做 All right, here's the deal.
最后一个完成往返跑的人是烂番茄 开始 Last one to start, stop, then start again is a rotten egg. Let's do it.
教练 我今早洗澡的时候想到了一个笑话 Hey, Coach, I thought of a joke this morning in the shower.
英国猫头鹰会说什么? What does a British owl say?
教练 英国猫头鹰会... Coach, what does a British owl--
我刚才说... I was saying earlier that--
你这样子好像我拿着鼻屎 在追你一样 You're acting like I'm chasing you with a booger or something.
好吧 我知道怎么回事了 Okay. All right. I see what's going on here.
是因为罗伊吧? This is about Roy, ain't it?
所以你打算不理我 对我冷处理 这是一个套餐啊 So you gonna give me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. That's a combo.
送不送中杯饮料? Does it come with a medium drink?
好吧 Fine.
嘿 内特 英国猫头鹰说什么? Hey, Nate, what does a British owl say?
你要假装你没听见我说话 You gonna do that move where you act like you don't hear me
然后走开 是吗? and then you just walk away, huh?
好吧 Yeah.
你至于跑那么远吗? It's like that now, huh?
我可去你们的吧 我要专注于训练 Heck with both of you guys. I'm just gonna focus up here on practice.
很好 丹尼 坚持住 加油 There you go, Dani. Dig in, baby. Come on.
-该死 -没关系 罗伊 -Fuck. -It's all right, Roy.
-该死! -跟上 罗伊! -Fuck! -Keep up, Roy!
-你可以的 罗伊 -该死! -You got this, Roy. -Fuck!
就是这样 都发泄出来 罗伊 发泄出来 That's it. Swear it out, Roy. Swear it out.
该死 Shoot.
好吧 Okay.
耶 Yeah.
你在这儿啊 There you are.
(里士满)
嘿 Hey.
这里有这么多椅子呢 There's a lot of other seats.
是啊 但我买的是这个座位的票 Well, yeah, this is what my ticket says.
你还好吗 罗伊? How you doing, Roy?
还好 你呢? Fine. You?
挺好的 Good, good, yeah.
我在网上看了一个视频 I saw this video online
一只小猫和一只小鸡成了朋友 of a kitten and a little baby chicken becoming friends
一起玩的视频 and just hanging out together.
挺逗的...我给你看 我存在手机里了 It was-- Well, here, let me show it to you. I got it right here.
你到底想说什么? What's this about?
挺好笑的 因为我妈每次有什么 难以启齿的话要对我说 It's funny, 'cause whenever my mom has something tough to talk about with me,
她都会...先说些其他的 she'll... you know, she'll start it off saying something
一些奇怪的 平常不会说的好话 about, I don't know, something weird, something overtly nice.
我刚想到 And, yeah, I just thought the idea
猫和鸟成为朋友这个想法挺好的 of a cat and a bird being all simpatico was nice.
听着 罗伊 我们最近在讨论 对阵曼城的首发阵容... Look, Roy, we've been talking about the starting lineup against Man City--
你敢 你不准让我坐冷板凳 Don't you dare. You're not fucking benching me.
-不是 我就是跟你聊聊 罗伊 我... -是啊 聊聊 你就只会这个 -Well, no. I'm just talking here, Roy. I-- -Yeah, talking. That's all you do is talk.
说你永远支持我的屁话 Talking all that bullshit about how you've got my back.
-嘿 我是支持你的 -胡说! -No. Hey, I do have your back. -Bullshit!
你假装是一个守信的人 其实你谎话连篇 You pretended to be a man of your word. You're fucking full of shit.
你去死吧 去你大爷的! You can go fuck yourself. Fuck you!
我在你身上看到了很多惊喜的变化 There are a lot of surprises happening here.
比如说你的小胡子 Like that tiny little beard.
这叫凡戴克山羊胡 以那个十七世纪的弗拉芒画家命名的 It's called a Van Dyke after the 17th century Flemish painter.
-好的 -我认为这能代表我现在的感受 -Right. -And I think it makes me look how I feel.
淡定 Chill.
希金斯夫人是什么感受? How does Mrs. Higgins feel about it?
她讨厌死了 She hates it with a white-hot intensity.
好吧 听着... Right. Look...
我跟泰德坦白了 我全都告诉他了 I came clean to Ted. I told him everything.
结果如何? How did that go?
你知道那家伙做了什么吗?他原谅我了 You know what the little shit did? He forgave me.
-真是个混蛋 -是啊 -Fucking asshole. -I know.
但我不是为这个来的 But that's not actually why I'm here.
我想跟你道歉... I wanted to apologize to you for...
我对你的态度太恶劣了 treating you so poorly
我还强迫你参与我那愚蠢幼稚的把戏 and forcing you to be an accomplice in my moronically childish scheme.
我真的很抱歉 希金斯 I am truly sorry, Higgins.
哇 Wow.
谢谢你 瑞贝卡 Thank you, Rebecca.
我迷失了一阵子 I lost my way for a minute.
是啊 Yeah.
但我已经回到正轨上了 But I'm on the road back.
我看得出来 这很适合你 I can tell. You know what, it suits you.
不像你的胡子 Unlike that beard.
抱歉 没忍住 Sorry. Had to.
我家里从来没有过小孩 I don't think I've ever had a child in my house before.
杰米呢? What about Jamie?
不过 我们不能让她随意乱翻 We can't let her go snooping around though.
我可不想让她找到我的震动棒 I don't want her to find my vibrator.
是啊 那是个问题 她妈说不准碰电子产品 Yeah, that's gonna be a problem. Her mum said no electronics.
你最近还好吗? So, how are you doing?
挺好的 Fine.
我觉得小孩子挺神奇的 I do kind of think kids are pretty incredible.
她的新牙齿会把旧牙齿顶掉 I mean, she's got new teeth that push out her old teeth.
人类身体是个奇迹 The body is a miracle.
我上次坐冷板凳的时候... You know, the last time I was on the bench...
你准备好谈论重要的事了 You are ready to talk about real stuff.
太好了 That's great.
稍等一下 Wait one second.
坐这里 Come sit here.
抱着这个 Take this.
好了 咱俩都准备好了 说吧 Okay, we're both ready. Lay it on me.
罗伊肯特从小到大一直是每个队伍里 Roy Kent has been the best player on every team he's been on
最优秀的球员 since he was a kid.
我喜欢成为罗伊肯特 I like being Roy Kent.
我不知道能不能接受自己 只是一个叫“肯特”的废物 I don't know if I can handle just being some loser has-been called Roy.
“你好吗 罗伊” 挺好的 “你最近在忙什么?” 无所事事 "All right, Roy?" Yeah. "What you been up to?" Fuck all.
天啊 顾影自怜的男人太性感了 God. I think men who feel sorry for themselves are so sexy.
-别闹了 -不 我是认真的 -Stop it. -No, seriously. I do.
如果你开始跟我讲 以打比赛为生有多难的话 And if you start telling me how hard it is playing a game for a living,
我可能会高潮哦 I think I might come.
这对我而言不仅是比赛 It's not just a game to me.
我只会做这个 It's all I've ever known.
这就是我 It's who I am.
这是我的全部 It's all I am.
菲比? Phoebe? Phoebe?
你能过来一下吗? Can you come here for a second?
你说得对 齐柏林飞船乐队太棒了 You were right. Zeppelin is amazing.
等你听了奶油乐队再说吧 Wait till you hear Cream.
但是首先 我需要你闭上眼睛 好吗? But first, I need you to close your eyes for me, yeah?
好的 你能描述一下你的罗伊叔叔吗? Okay. Can you describe your Uncle Roy?
任何你能想到的事情 开始 Everything that you can think of. Go.
他是我叔叔 他的胡子很扎人 Well, he's my uncle. His beard is scratchy.
他给我买冰淇淋 He buys me ice cream.
他经常骂人 He swears a lot.
他真的很好笑 He's really funny.
我爱他 And I love him.
做得好 菲比 Well done, Phoebe.
看到了吗?我没听到任何 与足球运动员相关的描述 See? I didn't hear anything about being a footballer.
谁在乎她怎么说啊?她才六岁 Who gives a shit what she has to say? She's six.
关键是 你根本不知道 人们是怎么看待罗伊肯特的 The point is, you don't know what people think about Roy Kent.
其次 罗伊肯特 重要的是 你是如何看待罗伊的 Secondly, all that matters, Roy Kent, is what you think about Roy.
你的前男友在跟别的男人下棋? That your old girl playing chess with some other bloke?
-是的 -太残忍了 -Yep. -That's fucking brutal.
她只是在玩游戏 She's just playing her game.
你要坚强 听到了吗? You stay strong, you hear?
你是一个帅气的男人 You're a beautiful man.
嘿 伙计们 Hey, fellas.
就咱俩喝有点多了吧 Well, that's a lot of pints just for us.
我以为你跟罗伊之间不会太愉快 I thought you might've had a tough time with Roy.
教练 你天生就这么善解人意 就像《飞越疯人院》里那个院长 Coach, you are a natural-born caregiver. Like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest.
我更像是泰伯 I was always more of a Taber guy.
但是说实话 我其实没跟罗伊说 But if I'm being honest, I actually never got around to telling Roy.
别这么看我 他自己猜出来了 Now, don't give me those eyes. He figured it out all on his own.
我看出来你现在高兴了 但是先别高兴 I can see you're happy now, but don't be.
因为我仔细想了一下... 'Cause I've been thinking about it and...
我决定让罗伊作为对阵曼城的首发球员 well, I'm starting Roy against Man City and that's that.
听着 让他坐冷板凳不仅是对他的侮辱 Look, putting him on the bench wouldn't just be humiliating to him,
这其实会影响到他的生计 it could actually affect his livelihood.
你比任何人都清楚 对我来说 输赢不是最重要的 And you know better than anyone that all this ain't about winning to me.
因为那并不能决定成功与否 对吗? 'Cause that ain't how we measure success, right?
该死的 当然是了! Damn it, it is!
嘿 谁把爆竹塞你屁股里然后点炸了? Hey. Who put a firecracker up your butt and lit it?
你!我受够了 You did! And I'm sick of it.
听着 我们在堪萨斯的时候 我理解你的这种使命 Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas.
但那些只是孩子 而这些是职业球员 But those were kids and these are professionals
输赢对他们很重要 and winning does matter to them.
对我也很重要 这没什么不妥的 And it matters to me. And that's okay.
-对吗 梅? -没错 -Ain't that right, Mae? -A-fucking-men it is.
你怎么不明白呢?输球会引发一系列后果 How do you not get it? Losing has repercussions.
我们输了就会被降级 We lose, we get relegated.
被降级了 那一切就结束了 我们什么成就都没有 We get relegated, this is over and we will have built nothing.
而且你选择顾及一个球员的感受 而不是履行教练的职责... And if you wanna pick a player's feelings over a coach's duty to make a point...
我不想跟这么自私的人喝酒 I don't wanna drink with someone that selfish.
这是我这辈子见过的最性感的画面了 That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
拿好东西 Get your things.
她玩你呢 She's been toying with you.
将军 伙计 Checkmate, mate.
-不用了 -你对坚果过敏? -I'm good. -You got a nut allergy?
我对手指过敏 I got a finger allergy.
我看看还有什么 有红酒 What else have I got to offer you here? We got red wine.
有茶 We got tea.
两天前的煮面水 Two-day-old pasta water.
我喝茶吧 Tea's fine.
听着 我很抱歉叫你去死 Look, I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself.
我通常更善于隐藏自己的愤怒 I'm usually better at hiding my anger.
你这么认为? You think so, huh?
了解自己 Know thyself.
安息吧 苏格拉底 Rest in peace, Socrates.
我跟我侄女说 我可能不会再踢球了 Told my niece I might not be playing.
她问我能不能给她买冰淇淋 She asked if we could go get ice cream.
嘿 至少你有可以聊聊天的人 对吧? Well, hey, at least you had someone you could talk to, right?
冰淇淋好吃吗? How was the ice cream?
好吃 很美味的冰淇淋 Good. It's fucking ice cream.
是吧?冰淇淋最好了 Yeah, right? Ice cream's the best.
就像看比利乔的现场 你知道吗? It's kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live, you know?
永远不会失望 It never disappoints.
不过我会胃胀气 It does give me the toots though.
我是说冰淇淋 不是比利乔 The ice cream, not Billy Joel.
我问她如果我不踢球了 她还会不会看比赛 I asked her if she was still gonna watch the match if I wasn't playing.
她怎么说? Yeah?
小混蛋说会看 眼睛都没眨一下 就看着我说的 Little shit said yes. Didn't even blink. Just straight into my face.
嘿 演艺圈就这样 不是吗? Well, hey. That's showbiz, ain't it?
《茶煲表哥》里维芙姨妈换人的时候 I promised myself I was never gonna watch Fresh Prince again
我发誓绝对不会再看这部电视剧 when they swapped out Aunt Vivs.
但老实说 只要他们还留着卡尔顿 But truth be told, as long as they let Carlton do his thing,
我还会抽时间坐下来的 I was always gonna take a minute and just sit right there.
花絮:阿方索里贝罗 Sidebar: Alfonso Ribeiro,
19世纪、20世纪、21世纪 最伟大的肢体喜剧演员 the greatest physical comedian of the 19th, 20th and 21st century.
恰当举例 Case in point right here.
很经典的动作 是吧? Iconic, yeah?
我从来不知道一个成年人在我面前 学卡尔顿我该作何反应 I never know how to react when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.
你光是看到影子就应该在干嘛了 You could see a silhouette doing this, you know exactly what it is,
你知道这是谁的招牌动作 这是绝无仅有的阿方索... you know exactly who's doing it. It is the one, the only, Alfonso--
-别吵了! -抱歉 希普利夫人! -Knock it off! -Sorry, Ms. Shipley!
我们因为这事吵了一周了 It has been a whole thing this last week.
总之 你知道我们能怎么做吗? Anyway. You know what we could do?
你这个赛季大伤小伤不断 You've been hurt off and on all season.
不如我们就说你受伤了不能上场怎么样? 没必要觉得丢脸 Why don't we just say you're injured, you can't play? No shame in that.
如果我还想进入下个赛季的话 这能保护我的价值 That would help protect my stock if I wanna move next season.
也许可以去一个愿意首发我的俱乐部 Maybe to a club that actually wants to start me.
拜托 Come on.
如果我最终只能去该死的美国踢球 What if, God forbid, I end up having to play in fucking America,
顺便一说 我肯定是一枝独秀了 where I'd dominate, by the way.
他们会说:“噢 这就是足球?” They'd be like, "Oh, is this football then?"
显然 我是希望你上场的 Well, obviously, my preference would be to have you there.
不论是明天的训练 还是比赛 At practice tomorrow and the game.
但是 你要做正确的事 But hey, you gotta do what's right for you.
我能考虑一下吗? Can I think about it?
如果你不考虑的话 我会说你是一个傻瓜 I'd call you a big dummy, poo-poo face if you didn't.
跟我说实话 这是恶作剧吧?我是说茶 Be honest with me. It's a prank, right? The tea.
等我们这些游客不在的时候 你们都知道这玩意难喝得要死 Like, when us tourist folks aren't around, y'all know this tastes like garbage.
不是 我很喜欢 No. I love it.
你才不爱呢 这是鸽子汗液 You don't love it. It's pigeon sweat.
太可怕了 Horrible. Horrible.
是啊 Yeah.
不要小的 把大的加回来 他手小 No, get rid of the small one and bring back the tall one. He's got bigger hands.
饼干时间到了 It's biscuits o'clock.
-希金斯!你回来了! -是啊! -Higgins! You're back! -Yeah!
太好了 我知道我可能 对一些人而言太守旧了 All right. Well, hey, I know I may be a little too old-school for some folks,
但我还是要说 噢耶 but I'm gonna say it anyway. Hell to the yeah.
-很高兴见到你 -我也很高兴见到你 -Good to see you. -Nice to see you too.
-给你 老板 这是你的 -谢谢 泰德 -Here you go, boss. Those are yours. -Thank you, Ted.
你一定要尝尝 You've got to try one of these.
他才不要 分享是美德 但我给希金斯带了一份 No, he does not. Caring is sharing, but I brought Higgins his own.
什么? What?
你怎么知道我会回来? How did you know?
我有预感会看到你 Well, I had a hunch you were gonna be here.
-是的 -哇 -Yeah. -Wow.
其实 这是给特伦特克里姆女儿的 她今天三岁了 Actually, those were for Trent Crimm's daughter. She turns three today.
-但如果你能收下 对我而言意义更重大 -什么?不行 -But it means more to me if you had 'em. -What? No. No, no. Come on.
没关系 她不会记得 No. It's okay. She won't remember.
泰德 你已经告诉她了? Ted, you've already told her?
嗯 几周之前就说了 她一直很期待 Yeah, weeks ago. She's been looking forward to it.
但她才三岁 她不会记挂太久的 没事 But she's three. She'll bounce right back. It'll be fine.
-不行 -不 我坚持让你收下 -No way. -No, no. I insist. I insist.
我逗你呢 我开玩笑的 I'm screwing with you. I'm just messing around.
我预料到你会回来 我亲自为你做的 I predicted this whole thing, and I made those myself for you.
谢谢 Thank you.
好吧 两位 一会见 好吗? 加油 灰狗 Okay, y'all. I'll see you in a little bit, okay? Let's go, Greyhounds.
这绝对是给小女孩的 Yeah, these are definitely for a little girl.
也许他认为你又傻又爱玩又神秘呢 Maybe he thinks you're silly and playful and mysterious.
当然了 Oh, sure.
(肯特)
好了 伙计们!大家都听好 Okay, fellas! Need y'all to listen up.
教练 Coach.
-现在... -我知道现在可能不是时候 教练 -Now-- -I know now's not the best time, Coach,
但那天我丢下你走开后 一直觉得身体不舒服 but I have been feeling physically sick since walking away from you the other day.
而且昨天晚上 我做了一个可怕的噩梦 Plus last night, I had a horrible nightmare
我梦见我像乌鸦一样把你啄死了 that I was pecking you to death like a crow.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
没关系 内特 我们没事了 好吗? It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right?
-好 -但是 嘿 帮我个忙 -Yeah. -But hey, but do me a favor.
记得在梦里跟我道歉 这样两边都和解了 Try to apologize to me in your dream so we're good on that side of things too.
-好的 当然 -谢谢 -Yeah. Of course. -Thank you.
伙计们 我们面临一场艰难的比赛 Now, fellas, we got ourselves a heck of a match comin' up, yeah?
我需要你们... And what I'm gonna need from all of y'all--
抱歉 伙计 Sorry, mate.
我六岁的侄女找到了我女朋友的震动棒 My six-year-old niece found my girlfriend's vibrator.
所以我得带她去扎个耳洞 So I had to take her to get her ears pierced
来删掉这段记忆 in an attempt to erase the memory.
我也经历过 Been there.
我能说两句吗? Can I say something?
舞台是你的 队长 Floor is yours, Captain.
二级球队今天要踢爆一级球队的屁股 Second team's gonna kick first team's fucking asses today.
好了 伙计们!做好准备 然后我们就照队长说的做 All right, fellas! Finish getting ready, and then we'll do what the man says.
我们球场见分晓 出发 We'll settle this out on the pitch. Let's go.
(相信)