上一次在床上躺这么久 还是因为我拉伤了腿筋 The last time I spent this long in bed, was because I strained a hamstring.
我们要不要… Should we…
把我们的事公开 tell people about us?
我享受地下情的感觉 I'm enjoying the secrecy.
在上班时偷偷摸摸 Sneaking around at work.
不觉得既可耻又有趣吗 Doesn't it feel scandalous and fun?
不 压力太大了 No. It's so stressful.
我已经长白发了 I'm going gray.
我没看到你有白发 I have not seen one gray hair anywhere.
不在我头上 It's not on my head.
也不在下面 在我的腋窝 看到没 It's not down there. It's in my armpits. See?
问题解决 Problem solved.
如果把我们的事告诉别人 You know, if we told people about us,
我就可以这样 then I could do this…
在公共场合 in public.
你要一直纠结这件事了 对吧 You are not gonna let this one go, are you?
对 No, I am not.
我们这周末放假 You know, we have the weekend off.
我可以陪你 Then I'm in.
-我们去哪 -希腊如何 -Where are we going? -How about Greece?
天啊 妈妈 Oh, my God, Mother!
真好 我把备用钥匙放进去了 Excellent, that's where my spare keys went.
山姆 你还记得我母亲吧 Sam, you remember my mother?
很荣幸能与你正式见面 黛博拉 It's a pleasure to formally meet you, Deborah.
我真心希望此刻我不是只穿着平角内裤 I sincerely wish I wasn't in my boxers right now.
不 是平角紧身内裤 Boxer briefs.
与文笔糟糕的描述文一样 And like clunky exposition,
它们几乎没给人留下任何想象空间 they leave very little to the imagination.
真抱歉 I am so sorry.
好的 寒暄结束 Right, okay, that's all the pleasantries out of the way.
告诉我吧 妈妈 So come on, Mother.
我爸这次做了什么 What's my father done this time?
他死了 He died.
你们认为她父亲此刻在哪里 So where do you think her father is right now?
在殡仪馆的柜子里 In the drawer of a funeral home.
不 我是说灵魂 No. I mean, like, spiritually.
在殡仪馆的柜子里 In the drawer of a funeral home.
小时候我曾相信 You know, growing up, I used to believe that
做好事就上天堂 if you did good things, you went to heaven.
做坏事就下地狱 You did bad things, you went to hell.
如今我明白大家好事坏事都做过 所以无论他在哪里 我希望他开心 Nowadays, I know we all just do both. So wherever he is, I hope he's happy.
我心中的天堂是一个动物管事的地方 I like to imagine a heaven where animals are in charge,
而人类是宠物 and humans are the pets.
我愿意永生永世蜷缩在炉火前 I'd like to spend eternity curled up in front of a fire
依偎在辛迪爪爪福德的脚边 at Cindy Clawford's feet.
是 Yeah.
我希望转世成为一只老虎 I'd like to be reincarnated as a tiger…
干掉所有对我没有好脸色的人 and then ravage anyone who looked at me wrong.
如果在一个人死后立即秤他的体重 You know, if you weigh a person's body right after death,
会比生前要轻21.3克 it's 21.3 grams lighter,
有人说那是灵魂的重量 and some say that's the weight of the soul.
无论是谁得出这个结论 Whoever figured that out
这人显然是先给某个人秤重 谋杀后再秤一次 clearly weighed someone, murdered them, then weighed them again.
生活、死去、结束 You live, you die, you're done.
晚安 Good night.
-他来月经了 -是的… -He's on his period. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
喂 我们大家作为一个团队参加葬礼 Oi, so we're all going to this funeral as a team.
所以这意味着打领带、穿衬衫 So that means ties, shirts…
-不能穿运动鞋 -什么 -and no trainers. -What?
听着 Okay.
如果是非常好看的椰子鞋呢 Well, what if they're, like, really nice Yeezys?
-对 -什么颜色 -Yeah. -What color?
亮红色 Bright red.
好吧 我会穿正装鞋的 Okay, I'll wear some dress shoes.
哪里能买到正装鞋 Where do you get dress shoes?
我没时间半夜排队 I don't have time to stand in line at midnight
等到早晨 只为了买新鞋 and wait till morning to buy new shoes.
买这种鞋不需要排队 哥们 You don't have to do that for shoes like these, mate.
不会有人抢着买的 Nobody wants them.
天啊 这首该死的歌 Oh, my God! This fucking song!
妈妈 快关掉 Mother, turn it off!
等等 小香肠 Hang on! Hang on, sausage.
等等 我听不见你说话 I can't hear you.
你当然听不见我说话 Of course you can't fucking hear me.
-你想要什么 -你为什么要播那首歌 -What did you want? -Why are you playing that song?
抱歉 我喜欢起床时在每个房间放那首歌 I'm sorry. I like to have it playing in every room in the house when I wake up.
让我心情很好 It just makes me feel happy.
你今天心情不应该好 Well, you shouldn't feel happy today.
天天都应该心情好 瑞贝卡 You should feel happy every day, Rebecca.
你想聊聊吗 Do you want to talk about that?
不…我心情很好 No-- I am happy.
我不需要聊任何事 I don't need to talk about anything.
以前的瑞贝卡很爱这首歌 You know, the old Rebecca used to love that song.
以前全世界都很爱这首歌 Yeah, well, the whole world used to love that song.
然后我们不厌其烦地反复听 现在我们已经听腻了 Then we heard it ad nauseam, and now we're over it.
我不是这样 Well, I don't work that way.
一旦爱上什么 我会一直爱下去 Once I love something, I love it forever.
你可以把这房间改成你喜欢的样子 You know, you can change this room to whatever you want.
不用为了我保持原样的 You don't need to keep it like this for me.
不 这让我想起我们曾经亲密无间的时候 No, it reminds me of when we were close.
我喜欢这样 I want it that way.
我知道下一首歌该播什么了 Now I know what song I want to play next.
不 Oh, no!
早上好 讨厌鬼 Good morning, Stinky.
你在想什么 What the hell are you thinking?
只是想看看我还能不能成功 Just wanted to see if I could still do it.
看来特蕾西安德森健身很有效 Those Tracy Anderson workouts are having the right effect.
诺拉 快点 Nora, hurry up!
我要不紧不慢、小心谨慎 I'm taking my time and being careful.
在你这么大时 我只需要几秒 When I was your age, I could do this in seconds.
那倒是真的 That's true.
而且还是喝醉的状态 While drunk, by the way.
弗洛伦斯 亲爱的 好久不见 Florence, darling, it's been ages.
-黛博拉 -多谢你今天赶来 -Deborah. -Thank you for coming.
需要什么尽管找诺拉和我 好吗 Nora and I are here for anything you need, okay?
对吗 诺拉 Isn't that right, Nora?
-诺拉 -天啊 -Nora! -Oh, God.
我没事 I'm okay.
葬礼都很奇怪 对吧 Funerals are weird, aren't they?
是 Yeah.
是啊 Yeah.
葬礼很像派对 They're like a party,
只不过参加的人都很悲伤 but for sad people.
大家都知道要去这个地方 一起悲伤 Like where everyone knows they have to go and be sad.
也许你不觉得悲伤 Maybe you're not sad,
但你还是得去 然后表现得悲伤 but you have to go and be sad.
我觉得这很奇怪 I think that's weird.
对 糟透了 Yeah, they're horrible.
罗伊 如果你死了 你想要土葬还是火葬 Roy, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated?
如果今天你被巴士撞死 我该怎么做 Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
追上巴士司机 让他为自己的行为付出代价 Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me.
为我复仇 基莉 Avenge me, Keeley.
为我复仇 Avenge me!
葬礼的事真的让你感到疑惑 是吗 This funeral is really messing with your head, innit?
我发现了一家公司 I found this company,
他们把你装在可生物降解的袋子里下葬 and they bury you in a biodegradable sack.
这样当你的身体腐烂时 So when your body decomposes,
会成为果树种子的肥料 it fertilizes the seeds of a fruit tree.
我想要这样 That's what I want.
因为这样你和所有爱我的人 Because then you and all the people that love me
可以吃我树上的果实 can eat the fruit from my tree.
这太疯狂 That is fucking mental.
是谁说要我毁了某个巴士司机的人生 Coming from the guy that wants me to ruin a bus driver's life
只因为他为了避开小孩而撞死你 just 'cause he killed you swerving to avoid a child.
我又不知道小孩的事 I didn't know about the fucking child.
我只是喜欢我的死亡能滋养他人这个概念 I just like the idea that my death can nourish people.
用从你腐烂的尸体中长出来的水果 With fruit made from your rotting corpse?
我可不会吃那个 I wouldn't eat that.
但你在烤肉串上发现头发后还是照吃不误 But you'll eat a kebab that you find a hair in?
如果知道头发是谁的就没事 It's fine if you know who the hair is from.
那很正常 他是个很好的人 That's part of the deal. He's a lovely bloke.
-你不是真的生气了吧 -是真的 -You're not really angry, are you? -Yes, I actually am.
而我们现在要去葬礼 假装悲伤 And now we have to go to a funeral and act sad.
我现在确实感到悲伤 Well, now I am sad.
（泰德 谢谢你为我做的一切 内森）
该死 Shit.
请节哀 We're so sorry for your loss.
天啊 我不敢相信你们来了 Oh, my goodness. I can't believe you made it.
-当然的 -爸爸生前一直很爱你们二位 -Of course. -Dad always loved you both.
他们是谁 Who are they?
不知道 I've no idea.
亲爱的黛博拉 My darling, Deborah.
鲁伯特 Rupert.
我向你们表达最真挚的哀悼 My sincerest condolences.
没想到你会来 Didn't think you were coming.
瑞贝卡 保罗是我的家人 Rebecca, Paul was family.
不 我的意思是并没有邀请你 No, I mean because you weren't invited.
见到你很高兴 鲁伯特 It's lovely to see you, Rupie.
这位是黛安 And introducing Diane.
好可爱的胖宝宝 What a chubby baby.
恭喜你 妈妈 你羞辱了婴儿的身材 把人家弄哭了 Congratulations, Mother. You've just fat-shamed a baby to tears.
我来抱 Come here.
瞧 这就是魔力之手 Et voilà, the magic touch.
这才不是魔力 It's not magic.
我吃了生的胎盘 她很清楚 I ate the placenta raw, and she knows it.
对 我把家里的电视都收起来了 Yeah, I had all the TVs in the house removed.
我每天只需要坐着看她们就好 I just sit around and watch them all day.
真幸福 How lovely.
失陪 Excuse me.
（#我们是里士满）
-节哀 -谢谢你 莱斯莉 -My condolences. -Thank you, Leslie.
节哀 韦尔顿女士 Sorry, Ms. Welton.
节哀顺变 Sorry for your loss.
-来了多少人 -全都来了 -How many of them came? -All of them.
而且没有人穿运动鞋 And none of them are wearing trainers.
他们就是这么在乎你 That's how much they care about you.
-我的脚疼死了 -我们马上就坐下 哥们 -My feet are killing me, man. -We'll sit down in a minute, mate.
深呼吸 哥们 Deep breaths, mate.
-瑞贝卡 -山姆 -Rebecca. -Sam.
科林、艾萨克和内森 And Colin, and Isaac, and Nathan.
大家 谢谢你们前来 Everyone. Thank you all so much for coming.
请节哀 I'm sorry for your loss.
是 节哀顺变 Yeah, sorry for your loss.
对… Yes--
父亲就如脚踏车上的训练轮… Fathers are the training wheels on the bikes of…
抱歉 我只是不想重复他们的话 所以… Sorry-- I just didn't want to say what they said, so I--
请节哀 Sorry for your loss.
靓女 Sassy.
老混蛋 Oh, decrepit shitbag.
别这样 靓女 过去的事就让它过去吧 Oh, come on, Sass. Let's let bygones be bygones, eh?
我现在有了一个女儿 我已经变了 I've got a daughter now. I've changed.
得了吧 Oh, right.
生了女儿就能抹去 Having a daughter erases
你这辈子对女人做出的所有恶劣行径 all the shitty things you've done to women in your lifetime.
想得美 Cool.
鲁伯特 我每一天都惦记着你的死 Rupert, I think about your death every single day.
那天快来吧 I can't wait.
我会穿着大红色参加你的葬礼 I'm gonna wear red to your funeral.
我会成为其他三位出席者的开心果 I will be a beacon of joy to the other three people there.
见到你总是很开心 靓女 Always a pleasure, Sassy.
滚一边去死吧 鲁伯特 Fuck off and die, Rupert.
（拉索教练来电）
早上好 泰德 Good morning, Ted.
好的 Okay.
泰德 你…别紧张 Ted, you're-- Ted, you're okay.
保持呼吸 Just breathe.
专心做四七八呼吸法 Just focus on your 4-7-8 breathing.
你可以做到的 来 保持呼吸 You can. Come on. Just breathe.
我这就过来 I'm on my way.
那个宝宝太糟了 That baby sucks.
你不用为了我说这种话的 You don't have to say that for me.
我不是说说而已 我是认真的 I'm not just saying it. I'm serious.
那宝宝真垃圾 我好讨厌她 That baby's whack. I hate it.
-我爱你 -我也爱你 -I love you. -I love you too.
-无论你需要什么 我就在这 -我知道 -I'm here for you, whatever you need. -I know.
我不会离开你身边的 I won't leave your side.
-琼斯 -靓女 天啊 -Jones! -Sassy! Oh, my God!
嗨 Hi!
我已经习惯了 I'm used to it.
请节哀 Sorry for your loss.
-你真美 -见到你真开心 谢谢 -You look amazing! -Good to see you. Thank you.
没事 继续走啊 You're fine. Keep walking.
老天 God.
我们应该表现得悲伤 I guess we're supposed to be sad.
对的 Yeah, yeah.
葬礼都好奇怪啊 Funerals are so weird.
我之前就在说这点 I was literally talking about that earlier.
-你死后也希望成为树吗 -当然 -Do you also wanna be a tree when you die? -Hell yeah.
或是一只很蠢的狗 Or a really stupid dog.
两种生活都很美好 Either one is a great life.
对 Yeah.
泰德去哪了 So where's Ted?
-靓女和泰德 排排坐树上 -老天 -Sassy and Ted, sitting in a tree. -Oh, God.
-翻云又覆雨 -闭嘴 小捣蛋鬼 -F-U-C-K-I-N-G. -Shut up, you little troll.
抱歉 我总爱对美女说刻薄话 I'm sorry. I say mean things to beautiful women.
多谢夸奖 靓女 Thanks, Sass.
对了 听我说 By the way, record scratch,
我觉得瑞贝卡在秘密交往某人 but I think Rebecca is secretly dating someone.
-什么 -已经有几周了 -What? -For, like, weeks.
今天这个场合适不适合 Now, is today an inappropriate day
逼问她或诱导她 让她告诉我们交往对象是谁 to inquire/badger her into telling us who?
不试一试怎么知道 We'll never know unless we try.
-基莉 -杰米 -Keeley. -Jamie.
哇 西装很帅 Wow, nice suit.
你们都很帅 瞧瞧你们 All of you. Look at you.
看 嘿 过来 Look. Hey. Come here.
这是泰德送你的西装吗 Is this-- Is this the suit that Ted got you?
-什么 这套 -对 -What, this? -Yeah.
我不记得… I can't remember--
是的 对… Yes. Yeah, yeah.
对 没错 Yeah, it's-- Yeah.
-好看 真不错 -谢谢 -Nice, it's really nice. -Thank you.
另一个男人送你衣服 显得你挺幼稚的嘛 Another man buying you clothes is infantilizing, yes?
有必要吗 Fuck's sake.
不 他并没有给我买所有衣服 Well, no. He doesn't buy all of my clothes.
大部分都是我妈送的 Most of them are gifts from my mum. You know.
走吧 Let's go.
你手里拿的是苹果吗 Is that a fucking apple?
对 Yeah.
我在外面的树上摘的 I got it from a tree outside.
吃起来像死人的味道 Tastes like dead people.
这不好笑 罗伊 That's not funny, Roy.
对 但意外地好吃 No, but it's surprisingly delicious.
开心一点嘛 基莉 这可是葬礼 Cheer up, Keeley. It's a funeral.
我真讨厌正装鞋 杰米 I hate dress shoes so much, Jamie.
我知道 兄弟 I know, muchacho.
要记得 这种鞋 不是为了我们这种人设计的 'Cause remember, they ain't made for people like us.
是为了没个性的人设计的 They're made for sheep.
为了麻瓜设计的 They're made for Muggles.
为了混蛋设计的 They're made for twats.
我回家后一定要烧了这鞋 关于它的记忆将在地狱燃烧 When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell.
我的上帝啊 丹尼 Jesus, Dani.
聊这该死的鞋时别提上帝的名字 Jesús has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes.
你感觉如何 泰德 How you feeling, Ted?
好些了 I'm better, you know?
不算很好 但比刚才好 Not great, but better.
那就好 Good.
因为某人感觉不太好时 Because when someone's not great,
我就可以趁机介入 做我的本职工作 that allows me to get in there and do my thing.
是 Yeah.
我可以坐下吗 May I sit down?
医生请坐吧 I wish the doctor would, yeah.
需要喝点什么吗 来杯茶 You want something to drink? A cup of tea or something?
不用了 谢谢 我讨厌茶 No, thank you. I hate tea.
味道像湿纸袋 Tastes like a wet paper bag.
我什么都会告诉你 I'll tell you anything.
我从没去过一个真正的 I don't think I've ever been in a properly…
圣公会教堂 Anglican house of worship before, and…
身处这里让我很想念你 我真希望你也在这里 it makes me miss you, and I just wish you were here.
我也是 我最爱葬礼了 Me too. I love funerals.
是开棺吗 Is it an open casket?
天啊 希望是 我很想看看 God, I hope so. I like to see.
我也是 Me too.
这样好了
没错… Yeah, yeah. You know what?
-你不是认真的 -我认真得要死 -You can't be serious. -I'm dead serious!
怎么 我是说真的 What? I mean it.
小时候 教堂让我唯一喜欢的一点是忏悔 When I was a kid, the only thing I liked about church was confession.
太解放了 It was so freeing.
坐在那里 承认自己脑中最邪恶的想法 I'd just sit there and admit all the sickest shit inside of my brain.
天啊 有次我说得牧师同时脸红和呕吐 Oh, my God. One time, I made the priest blush and barf at the same time.
真的 Yeah.
有人让我进来告诉你们小声点 I have been told to come in to ask you to lower your voices.
但我也带了这个 But I also brought this.
-做得好 -真棒 -Oh, good work. -Oh, nice.
从一个穿白袍子的小男孩那里偷的 Stole it from a little boy in a white robe.
不是吧 靓女 No, Sass.
那么 讨厌鬼 So, Stinky.
-你的秘密炮友是谁 -什么 -Who are you secretly shagging? -What?
我们跳过你假装没有炮友的环节吧 Let's skip the part where you pretend you're not, yeah?
你们在说什么 What are you even talking about?
你在约会后的那条敷衍人的短信 How about the bullshit text after the date,
我已经有两周没在下班后见过你 the fact I have not seen you outside of work for two weeks,
还有即使今天出席你父亲的葬礼 and that even though today is your father's funeral,
你笑得就像一个刚享受“性福”的女孩 you are glowing like a girl that just got properly plowed.
老天 God.
糟糕 Shit.
-我就知道… -天啊 你猜对了 -I knew it! I knew it! -Oh, my God! You're right!
有人让我进来告诉你们小声点 I've been asked to come in and tell you to lower your voices.
牧师看上去都想骂脏话了 The vicar looked like he wanted to swear.
一切可好 Is everything all right?
当然 Yeah, of course.
我们在猜瑞贝卡最近在和谁上床 We're just trying to figure out who Rebecca is shagging.
我知道是谁 Oh, I know.
答案很精彩 And it's good.
妈妈 Mother.
拜托 等等… Come on-- Hang on. Hang on.
好 我们来玩问答20题 Okay, let's play 20 questions.
-对 -天啊 好激动 -Yes! Yes. -Oh, my-- This is thrilling.
他高吗 Is he tall?
是 Yes.
-是山姆吗 -你怎么知道的 -Is it Sam? -How the fuck did you know that?
-天啊 我就知道 -不是吧 -Oh, my God! I fucking did! -No!
失陪一下 Excuse me for one moment, please.
什么 What?
-我就知道 -天啊 -I did! -Oh, my God!
够了 That's it!
我的天… Oh, my Go--
任何不是直系亲属的人员都请离开 Everyone out except immediate family, please.
你真调皮 You're so bad.
你才是 You are.
抱歉 Sorry.
帅气女老大 Boss-ass bitch.
请原谅我 牧师 Forgive me, Father.
抱歉 我们的行为太不妥当了 Sorry, it's terrible behavior.
泰德 怪不得你恐慌症发作 Ted, it's not surprising that you had a panic attack.
也许参加这场葬礼 It's possible that going to this funeral
会触发关于你父亲葬礼的回忆 would trigger memories of going to your own father's funeral.
不对… Nope. Nope, nope.
我没参加我爸的葬礼 I didn't go to my dad's funeral.
好的 为什么 Okay, why not?
因为他放弃了 'Cause he quit.
他放弃了他的家庭 You know, he quit on his family.
他放弃了自己 He quit on himself.
我为此恨他 And I hated him for that.
我觉得我仍然为此恨他 I think I still hate him for it.
我也觉得 泰德 I think you do too, Ted.
而这没关系 And that's okay.
发生在你父亲身上的事 What happened with your father is
对于任何人来说都很难理解 a difficult thing for anyone to make sense of,
尤其是处在青春期的儿子 especially his teenage son.
你同意吗 Do you agree?
是 Yeah, okay.
好的 Okay, good.
可以告诉我发生了什么吗 Why don't you share with me what happened?
你的悼词中将讲什么 Do you know what you're going to say in your eulogy?
我不想说悼词 I don't want to do a eulogy.
瑞贝卡 Rebecca.
如果你不在自己父亲的葬礼上说点什么 那看上去太糟了 It would look awful if you didn't say anything at your own father's funeral.
我不在乎 I don't care.
我没有什么好话可说 I've got nothing nice to say.
你是怎么了 What's got into you?
他是一位很好的父亲、丈夫 He was a good father, a wonderful husband.
是吗 Was he?
你为什么如此生气啊 What are you so angry about?
我不想谈这个 尤其是今天 I don't want to talk about it. Not today.
别像个孩子似的 Stop behaving like a child.
好吧 你真的想知道 Fine, you really want to know?
因为我已经受够了保守秘密 Because I am so sick of keeping secrets.
爸爸背着你出轨 我看到了 Dad cheated on you, and I saw it.
那时你不在家 When you were away,
我本要去靓女家过夜 and I was meant to be staying the night with Sassy.
我连日期都记得 那是13号星期五 199… I even remember the date. It was Friday the 13th, 199--
1991年9月 …one, in September.
我记得日期 因为我和我的一群高中朋友 I remember the date 'cause me and a bunch of high school buddies
那天晚上打算来一场 《13号星期五》电影马拉松 were gonna do a marathon of all them Jason movies that night.
所以我像往常一样放学回家 So I, you know, came home from school as usual
去我的房间… and went up to my room to…
从你们的酒柜偷一瓶葡萄酒 …nick a bottle of wine from your drinks cabinet,
我们打开门时 and as we opened the door,
我听见… I heard--
砰 Bang!
所以我们去看看怎么回事 So we went to investigate.
我打开门 然后… I opened up the door, and…
他就在那 there he was.
兴奋得不得了 屁股朝天 雷诺兹太太尖声叫着他的名字 In all his glory with his arse in the air with Mrs. Reynolds screaming his name.
靓女什么都没说 And Sassy didn't say anything
她这辈子第一次无话可说 而我… for the first time in her life, and I just--
喊叫、噎气、哭泣 Screamed and choked. Cried.
他穿着睡袍追上我 And he came running after me in his dressing gown,
求我别走 但我… begging me to stop, but I just--
跑上楼 打电话报警 Ran upstairs, called 911.
去冰箱拿了一瓶他的淡啤酒 Went to the fridge, grabbed one of his Coors Lights.
喝掉 Drank that.
然后打电话给在工作的妈妈 让她回家 Then I called my mom at work and let her know she needed to come home.
第二天 我回家后 And the next day, when I came back,
他对此事闭口不谈 he said nothing about it.
这就是我如此生气的原因 好吗 And that is why I'm so fucking angry, okay?
这是我一直恨他的原因 It's why I've always hated him.
我仍然恨他 And I still hate him.
我知道 I know.
不 你不知道我的感受 No, you don't know how I feel.
我是说我知道他出轨了 I mean, I know about his cheating.
都知道 All of it.
你知道却什么都没做 You knew, and you did nothing?
我当然知道 我什么都知道 Of course I knew. I know everything.
那我也恨你 Then I hate you too.
我恨你纵容他那样对待你 I hate you for letting him treat you like that.
很遗憾你经历了这件事 泰德 I'm sorry that happened to you, Ted.
我也是 Yeah, me too.
我明白你为什么对他生气 And I understand why you're angry with him.
他让你失去了许多东西 He took a lot away from you.
还有我妈 And my mom.
是的 还有你妈 And your mum, yes.
我对一件事好奇 I'm curious about something.
他是个什么样的人 What was he like?
他是一个好人 He was a good man, you know.
很健谈 信不信由你 Real chatterbox, believe it or not.
也许有时候应该更注意聆听 Probably could have been a little bit better listening box at times.
你爱他的哪一点 What did you love about him?
为什么这么问 Why?
你告诉了我你恨他什么 You told me what you hate about him.
我很想听听你记得的那些让你开心的事 I'd love to hear something you remember that made you feel good.
在我五、六年级时有本书 书名是《约翰尼特瑞美》 When I was in fifth or sixth grade, there was this book called Johnny Tremain,
有一个月 我们的作业是读这本书 and our homework for, like, a month was to read this book.
到那个月结束时 我还没碰过那本书 At the end of the month, I hadn't read a lick of it, you know.
我们有个考试 And we had a test,
很重要的考试 在第二天 big test, like, the next day.
考前的晚上 我很焦虑 And the night before, I was anxious as all heck,
睡不着觉 and I couldn't sleep,
我爸开始训我 and my dad starts getting after me about that.
我哭了 And I start crying.
他说：“哇 怎么了 ” And he's like, "Whoa, buddy. What's wrong? What's wrong?"
我把这事告诉他 And I tell him what's up.
他说：“嘿 别担心 And he says, "Hey, don't worry about it, okay.
回你的房间 头放在枕头上 Just go up to your room, lay your head on your pillow
想一件让你期待的事” and think about something you're looking forward to."
于是我这么做了 So that's what I did.
第二天早上 我醒来 他说：“嘿 Next morning, I wake up, and he says, "Hey,
你今天别骑车上学 我开车送你” you ain't gonna ride your bike to school. I'm gonna drive you."
我说：“好吧” And I'm like, "All right."
在上学路上 他给我讲了整本书的内容 And on the way to school, he talks me through the entire book,
就像讲睡前故事那样 like it's a bedtime story or something.
因为他一整晚都没睡 'Cause he stayed up all night, the whole night,
把一整本书读完了 reading the whole damn thing,
因为他不希望自己的儿子 因为某个愚蠢的考试感到压力过大 'cause he didn't want his little boy stressed out over some stupid, silly test.
我最后得了A And I ended up getting an A.
成功 Boom.
他是个好爸爸 He was a good dad.
我觉得他不知道这点 And I don't think he knew that.
我觉得如果他知道自己有多擅长 I think if he would've known how good he was
那些他并不在意能做得好的事 那他… at stuff he didn't really care about being good at, he--
我觉得他不会做出… I don't think he would've done what he--
我要是告诉了他就好了 And I wish I would've told him.
我要是多夸夸他就好了 I wish I would've told him more.
我只是对他很生气 I was just so angry at him.
因为他总是在工作 'Cause he was always going to work
出门和朋友玩之类的 and just out with friends or something like that,
然后他就离开了 and then he was gone.
就是在那时起我知道 我决不能忽视身边的任何人 And I knew right then and there that I was never gonna let anybody get by me
因为他们可能内心怀有悲伤 without understanding they might be hurting inside, you know.
因为人生很艰难 'Cause life, it's hard.
真的很艰难 It's real hard.
谢谢你 泰德 Thank you, Ted.
我不知道这是不是非法行为 I don't know if this is illegal or something,
但能给我个拥抱吗 but can I have a hug?
当然 Sure.
没事的 It's okay.
这次咨询你会收费吗 Are you going to charge me for this session?
当然 Of course I am.
-好吧 -按上门出诊收费 -Okay. -For the house call.
多谢你的诚实 I appreciate your integrity.
不客气 You're welcome.
对不起 瑞贝卡 但… I'm sorry, Rebecca, but--
我不像你一样强大 I'm not as strong as you.
我不敢永远离开他 I was too scared to leave him for good.
你觉得离开鲁伯特我不怕吗 You don't think I was scared leaving Rupert?
我怕极了 I was terrified.
理应如此 因为让我告诉你 孤身一人 And rightly so because let me tell you, being alone
感觉糟透了 is fucking horrible.
但那是必须作出的选择 But it's been necessary.
因为如今生活开始美好了 'Cause it's actually started to feel rather wonderful.
我很高兴听到你这么说 Well, I'm glad to hear that.
而且鲁伯特是个自以为是的混蛋 Besides, Rupert was a self-righteous shit.
那你为什么总对他那么友好 Then why are you always so nice to him?
亲爱的 因为对付那种人的最佳方式 Because, my darling, the best way to deal with people like that
是让他们明白他们无法影响你 is to make sure they know they can't get to you.
无论如何 说到底 Anyway, when all's said and done,
重要的是什么 是爱还是正确 what's more important, being loving or being right?
你离开他时 我真为你感到自豪 I was so proud of you when you left him.
你知道你值得遇见更好的人 You knew you deserved better.
而我虽然有许多情感负担 Now, I've got a whole lot of baggage,
但我一旦爱上什么 就会一直爱下去 but when I love something, I love it forever.
我爱你的父亲 And I loved your father.
即使他那样对待你 Even though he treated you like that?
是啊 Yeah.
他不完美 我不需要他完美 He wasn't perfect. I didn't need him to be.
但他总是会回家 He always came back.
其实我很高兴你说恨我 You know, I'm actually glad to hear that you hate me.
这么多年来 我一直认为 你对我没有任何感觉 All these years, I've thought you didn't feel anything for me.
和冷漠比起来 我愿意承受你的愤怒 I'll take your anger over your indifference any day.
时间到了 It's time.
谢谢你们把声音放低 And thank you for keeping your voices down.
走吧 Come on, then.
请大家祈祷 Let us pray.
我们在天上的父 Our Father…
愿人都尊你的名为圣 …who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
美妙的恩典 Amazing grace
声音多甜美 How sweet the sound
“耶和华是我的牧者 "The Lord is my shepherd.
我必不致缺乏 There is nothing I shall want.
他使我躺卧在青草地上” Fresh and green are the pastures."
谢谢 Thank you.
通常而言 我不得不撒个小谎 Now, normally I would have to fib
讲自己与亡故者如何熟悉 about how well I knew the deceased.
但这一次 我确实很了解保罗 But in this case, I did know Paul very well.
他每周末都来教堂 He came to church every weekend,
坐在那边 sitting right over there,
全神贯注地聆听 paying attention to every single word
他手机上播放的里士满球赛 of the Richmond match he was listening to on his phone.
-但我从未觉得有必要 -上帝之母啊 -But I would never have felt the need… -…mother of Jesus Christ.
因此而责备保罗 …to chide Paul about this.
-那象征着他的热情 -真要命 -It was a sign of his passion… -Oh, my God.
他热爱这项运动 …for his beloved sport
并对于自己所爱球队保有忠诚 and the commitment he showed to his team.
这一种热爱和忠诚 They're the same passion and commitment
也体现在他为人夫、人父的角色上 which he showed both as a husband and a father
对家人一心不二 to his family as well.
接下来保罗的女儿瑞贝卡将致悼词 And now we will hear a eulogy from Paul's daughter, Rebecca.
拜拜 Bye-bye.
其实我不知道该说什么 I don't really know what to say.
我的父亲… My father…
是一个… was…
对于爱 我们并不陌生 We're no strangers to love.
你很清楚规则 You know the rules…
而我也是 And so do I
我想给予完整承诺 A full commitment's What I'm thinking of
你不会从其他任何人那里得到答案 You wouldn't get this From any other guy
我… I…
只想告诉你我的感受 Just want to tell you how I'm feeling
让你能够了解 Try to make you understand
决不放弃你 Never gonna give you up
决不让你失望 Never gonna let you down
决不到处乱跑 Never gonna run around
抛弃你 And desert you
决不会让你哭泣 Never gonna make you cry
决不会说… Never gonna say…
决不会说再见 Never gonna say goodbye
决不会欺骗和伤害你 Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
决不放弃你 Never gonna give you up
决不让你失望 Never gonna let you down
决不到处乱跑 抛弃你 Never gonna run around and desert you
决不会让你哭泣 Never gonna make you cry
决不会说再见 Never gonna say goodbye
决不会欺骗和伤害你 Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
决不放… Never gonna give, never gonna give
放弃你 Give you up
决不放… Never gonna give, never gonna give
放弃你 Give you up
谢谢 Thank you.
鲁伯特 真感谢你来 Rupert, thank you so much for coming.
爸爸一定会很开心你来参加的 Dad would've loved you being here.
鲁伯特 要不要去家里坐坐 Do you want to pop by at the house, Rupie?
我们请了一些人做客 We're having some people over,
我知道如果不邀请你 瑞贝卡会恨我的 and I know Rebecca would hate me if I didn't invite you.
谢谢你们二位的好意… Thank you, both--
但恐怕我们得走了 Well, I'm afraid we have to go.
现在是午睡时间 It's nap time.
是你还是宝宝要睡 砰 For you or the baby? Boom!
其实是母亲和宝宝 Yeah, for mother and child, actually.
如果我不陪在身边 她就不愿在婴儿床里睡 Yeah, she won't sleep in the crib unless I'm in there with her.
-这样啊 -好甜 -Oh, won't she? -So sweet.
保重 Take care.
瑞贝卡 我想和你说一声 Rebecca, I meant to say.
我说服贝克丝放弃她在里士满的持股了 I've convinced Bex to give up her shares in Richmond.
现在真的没时间管足球的事 I mean, there's just no time for footie these days.
所以请你收下吧 So, we'd love you to have them.
当作葬礼的礼物 Like a funeral present?
我认为你这么做非常体贴 鲁伯特 I think that's very thoughtful of you, Rupie.
是 真谢谢你 鲁伯特 Yes, yes. Thank you so much, Rupert.
-是 没错 -对 -Yeah, you're right. -Yes.
我觉得我需要和山姆分手 I think I need to break it off with Sam.
-什么 -为什么 -What? -Why?
-不是因为年龄吧 -不 我… -It's not the age thing, right? -No. I'm--
我甚至不确定我… I'm not even sure I--
-等等 你是担心媒体的反应 -也许吧 -Wait, are you worried about press stuff? -Maybe.
我知道了 I know.
老二太大 Penis is too big.
弄疼你小小的私处了 Hurts your tiny little vagina.
对 是因为这个 Yes, that's it.
确保里面有空气 …make sure they got air in 'em.
说到这个 Speaking of which.
-嗨 -嗨 -Hey. -Hi.
我和比利正打算去那边 Me and Billy were just going over here…
-好吧 -聊一聊1966年的事 -Okay. -…to talk about 1966.
你好吗 How you doing?
他在那里 There he is.
好 祝我好运吧 Right, wish me luck.
你能行的 You got this.
不会有事啦 It'll be all right.
不过对他温柔点 好吗 Be gentle though, yeah?
天啊 他在笑 我不想看到他这个样子 Oh, God, he's smiling. I hate to see him like this.
瑞贝卡 非常感谢 我的脚趾恢复感觉了 Rebecca, muchísimas gracias. I can feel my toes again.
真高兴我们的鞋码相同 I am so happy we wear the same size.
很好 我也很高兴 Good. Me too.
这双你可以留着 You keep those.
你太慷慨了 Your generosity knows no boundaries.
嗨 杰米 你想喝点什么吗 Hi, Jamie. Do you want a drink?
说实话 不知道该从何说起 我有点… Don't really know where to start, to be honest.
迷茫 I'm a bit all over the place.
先来杯啤酒吧 You wanna start with a beer?
不用 谢谢 听我说 基莉 No, thank you. Listen, Keeley.
我知道你现在和罗伊在一起 而且很幸福 I know that you're with Roy and that you're happy,
但今天让我意识到 如果我不说出来 我会恨自己 but today's made me realize that I'd hate myself if I didn't say…
我回到里士满不仅是为了远离我父亲 I didn't just come back to Richmond to get away from my dad.
我回来也是因为你 I also came back 'cause of you.
我觉得我终于正在成为最好的自己 I finally think that I'm becoming the best version of myself,
你一直以来知道我能够成为的那个男人 the kind of man that you always knew that I could be.
我知道这样做疯狂又糟糕 但… And I know that this is a mad, shitty thing to do, but…
我爱你 基莉 I love you, Keeley.
抱歉 Sorry.
喂 Oi.
听着 今天我表现得像个混蛋 开各种愚蠢的玩笑 Listen, I was a prick today, making dumb fucking jokes.
这是因为死亡让我感到不适 It's, just, death makes me uncomfortable
因为我祖父去世时 'cause when my granddad died,
整整一年 我每天晚上都会祈祷 I spent every single night for a whole year praying
只希望自己能再和他说一次话 或再见他一面 that I could just talk to him just once, or see him just one more time
仿佛他是欧比旺肯诺比一样 like he was Obi-Wan Kenobi or some shit.
结果我什么都没得到 And I got fuck all.
但那确实让我意识到 But it did make me realize,
人生只有一次 we only got this one life,
我不想浪费哪怕一秒 and I don't wanna waste a second of it.
我爱你 基莉 I love you, Keeley.
对不起 I'm sorry.
抱歉 Sorry.
我今天一天都想这么做 但一直没机会 I've wanted to do this all day, but I haven't had the chance.
山姆 Sam,
你很善良 内心充满爱 you're so kind and loving
而且…很有智慧 and… wise.
-但… -不好 -But-- -Oh, no.
我讨厌“但是” 我无法说谎 I hate big buts, and I cannot lie.
只是有一个问题… There's just this one issue that--
只有一个问题我无法释怀 There's just one thing I can't get past.
什么 What is it?
你太棒了 You're wonderful.
这为什么是坏事 Why is that a bad thing?
因为你真的可能会伤我的心 Because you could really hurt me.
但你也可能伤我的心 But you can hurt me too.
这点不让你害怕吗 Well, doesn't that scare you?
不 No.
-你害怕吗 -是 -Does it scare you? -Yes.
我觉得我必须弄清为什么 And I think I need to figure out why.
靠我自己弄清 On my own.
我理解 I understand.
你需要多长时间都行 Take as long as you need.
没关系 It's okay.
谢谢 Thank you.
但是瑞贝卡 我要提醒你一点 But, Rebecca, there's something I should warn you of.
什么 Yes?
我只会越来越棒 I'm only gonna get more wonderful.
我知道 I know.
-餐点真棒 真谢谢你 -多谢你来 提埃里 -Food was amazing. Thank you very much. -Thank you for coming, Thierry.
是 Yeah.
-拜拜 艾萨克 -谢谢 艾萨克 -Bye, Isaac. -Thanks, Isaac.
女士们 再见 Ladies.
请节哀 我很遗憾 Sorry for your loss, ladies.
别这么觉得 泰德 Don't be, Ted.
又不是你杀死他的 对吧 You didn't kill him, did you?
妈妈 Mum.
那我为今天迟到道歉 这样行吗 Well, I'm sorry that I was late today. How about that?
好 一切都好吧 Yeah, is everything okay?
一切 那不可能 Everything? Heck, no. No.
但我个人 是 我还行 But me? Yeah, I'm doing okay.
-好的 -是 -Okay. -Yeah.
嘿 我知道我只见过韦尔顿先生一面 And, hey, I know I only got to meet Mr. Welton that one time,
但是像他那个年纪的人还能跳 but, well, the fact that a fella his age could still do every move
唐纳德欧康纳 在《雨中曲》中的每一个舞步 from Donald O'Connor's big old dance scene from Singin' in the Rain,
让我对变老这件事更有信心了 it just gave me a lot of hope for getting older, you know.
保罗最爱两样东西 Paul loved two things:
众人的目光和逗她笑 attention and making her laugh.
我都忘了 谢谢你 泰德 You know, I'd forgotten that. Thank you, Ted.
晚安 Well, good night.
走吗 Shall we?
弗洛伦斯真的偏爱受伤的灵魂啊 Florence does like wounded birds, doesn't she?
这边吧 Let's go this way.
可不是嘛 Yes, she does.
这鞋可棒了 哥们 …they're great, bro.
你和山姆暂时分手了 You and Sam taking a break?
你怎么知道 How did you know that?
我是你母亲 我什么都知道 I'm your mother. I know everything.
而且我看到他满脸悲伤地走出壁橱 Besides, I saw him coming out of the cupboard looking sad.
好吧 Right.
酒精时间到 Drink, please.
那走吧 Come on, then.
瞧 你就像个小男孩 Look. You look like a little boy there.
是你给我剪的头发 Well, you cut my hair.
对 我一直都想要个儿子 Yeah, I always wanted a boy.
-这里还有什么 -瞧我的头发多长 -What else have we got in here? -Look how long my hair was.
（1979年夏）
-家庭录像带 -我已经抹掉原来的录像了 -Home videos. -I've probably taped over that.
我希望你没有 I bloody well hope you haven't.
看你的颧骨 真惊艳 Look at your cheekbones there. My gosh.
我为什么坐在碗里 Why am I sitting in a bowl?
不 你把那个当成我们的泳池 No, you made that our pool.
家里有泳池的邻居小孩 All the other neighborhood kids who had pools,
都会专门过来 只为了在你的碗里游泳 they'd come specially over so they could swim in your bowl.
-那是个很棒的碗 -是的 -It's a good bowl. -It is.
-你仍是我的小女孩 -妈妈 -You're still my little girl. -Oh, Mother.
你是我的小女孩 You are my little girl.
我觉得你对理查德艾斯利有好感 妈妈 I think you had a bit of a thing for Rick Astley, Mother.
可能吧 但那不是他吧 Well, maybe I did. But that's not him, is it?
那就是他 Yeah, of course it is.
不会吧 我以为他是黑人 No, I thought he was Black.
那是理查德艾斯利 That's Rick Astley?
对 Yes.
字幕翻译：易晗