加油 山姆奥比桑亚… Go, Sam Obisanya. Go, Sam Obisanya.
今天全场的焦点都在一个人身上 Today has been all about one man.
太厉害了 山姆奥比桑亚 足球生涯中的第一个帽子戏法 Take a bow, Sam Obisanya. The first hat trick of his career.
奥比桑亚三个进球 Three goals for Obisanya.
为里士满夺得三分 延续了他们耀眼的表现 Three points for Richmond as their incredible run of form continues.
接下来他们将进入本赛季最后一场比赛 They will now enter the final match of the season
再赢一场就能回到英超联赛 one win away from promotion back to the Premier League.
令人惊叹的大翻身 An incredible turnaround.
太棒了 山姆 Thataway, Sam!
这位尼日利亚小伙子 表现太出色了 克里斯 What a performance by the young Nigerian, Chris.
看到这么年轻的球员 发挥潜力 令人激动 阿尔洛 It's exciting to see a young player realizing his potential, Arlo.
-再来一个… -好 哥们 回头见 -One more, one more. One more. -All right, bro. See you later.
回头见 好的 再见 See you later. All right. Peace.
好耶 Yeah.
-太棒了 山姆 -三个进球 -Bravo, Sam. -Three goals.
-好 回头见 -真厉害 哥们 -All right. See you later. -That's gold. That's it, dude.
-恭喜 山姆 干得好 -谢谢 莱萨 -Congratulations, Sam. Well done. -Thank you, Liza.
回头见 See you later.
（瑞贝卡：帽子戏法 太精彩了）
（真为你感到高兴）
（祝你今晚愉快 亲亲）
干得好 哥们 Well done, matey.
祝我好运吧 Wish me luck.
小心点 Watch out!
不敢相信这是真的 I can't believe it's happening.
这整件事让我想要这样… The whole idea of it has got me going like…
停下 你变得… Oh, stop. You getting all…
这纯粹是恐惧阻止你拥有你应得的认可 is just fear getting in the way of what you deserve.
你是在嘲笑我的… Are you making fun of me with my…
当然不是 Of course not.
只是你这样… 我觉得我没有更好的办法表达这种状态 It's just, you went… And I thought I can't improve on that.
所以只能照你的样子模仿 I'm just gonna have to replicate it.
多谢 Thank you.
乒乓 小傻瓜们 Bing-bong, you ding-dongs.
-泰德 -怎么 -Ted. -Yeah?
猜猜谁是《名利场》商务版的专题人物 Guess who is going to be featured in Vanity Fair's business issue
作为冉冉升起的商界女强人 as a powerful woman on the rise.
终于轮到我了 太好了 I finally got it? This is incredible!
-泰德 -怎么 -Ted. -Yeah?
不是你 是基莉 Not you. Keeley.
这比较合理 嘿 恭喜你 基莉 Oh, that makes more sense. Hey, congrats, Keeley.
那是一场值得纪念的《名利场》 That's gonna be a Vanity Fair to remember.
作为貌美如花又事业有成的人 我感到很荣幸 Oh, it's just an honor to be mad fit and successful.
是啊 Yeah.
那么 女士们 我来这既要赠予也要索取 So, ladies, I'm here both to give and receive.
莎伦医生明天就离职了 Dr. Sharon's last day is tomorrow,
大家凑钱为她买礼物 and we're all chipping in to get her something special.
-你决定买什么了吗 -一信封的钞票 -What did you decide on? -An envelope of cash.
既然她已知道 我们所有人内心最深处的秘密 You know, I figured she already has all our deep, dark secrets.
这份礼物已经够大了 围巾 蜡烛什么相比之下太逊色 Kinda tough to top that with a scarf and a candle, you know?
是 Right.
-对 给多少都可以 -让我瞧瞧 -Yeah. Whatever you got. -Let's see.
这样吧 给 Oh, you know what? Here you go.
很好 谢谢 Lovely. Thank you.
好 Yeah.
是 花起来都一样 Yeah. It all spends the same.
好的 谢谢 All right. Appreciate you.
-各位好 -希金斯 -Hello, people. -Higgins!
莱斯莉 Leslie.
我刚才收到艾德文阿库佛的电邮 I just received an email from Edwin Akufo,
他想和你聊聊 瑞贝卡 and he wants to speak with you, Rebecca.
好吧 Okay.
艾德文阿库佛是谁 Who is Edwin Akufo?
他的父亲拥有加纳最大的科技公司 His father owns the largest tech firm in Ghana.
等等 我还以为我才是 Wait a second. I thought I did.
但他上个月去世了 Until he died last month.
我的笑话欠妥 抱歉 I apologize for my joke.
艾德文刚继承了十二亿英镑 而他热爱足球 Edwin just inherited £1.2 billion and loves football.
然后呢 And?
我认为他想买下俱乐部 And I think he wants to buy the club.
嗨 我把泰德给你买的西服 从干洗店那取回来了 Hi. Got the suit Ted bought you back from the dry cleaners.
是我的西服 Oh, it's my suit.
泰德给我的那一秒起 The second Ted gave it to me,
拥有权就转手了 它现在是我的西服 威尔 ownership transferred, and it became my suit, Will.
好吧 Right.
喂 我的眉毛很狂野吗 Oi, are my eyebrows crazy?
我今晚要和基莉拍照 I've gotta do a photo shoot with Keeley tonight,
摄影协调人说我的眉毛太狂野 and the photo shoot coordinator told me my eyebrows are crazy.
老天 我的眉毛算狂野吗 Jesus, are my eyebrows crazy?
他们想要拍一张 “和足球明星男友在家”的照片 They wanna do a "at home with the footballer boyfriend" shot.
我打赌他们最后都不会登这张 Bet they won't even use it.
她也说我要穿一身黑 好衬托基莉 She also told me I've gotta wear all black so that Keeley pops.
-你一直都穿黑色衣服 -这不是黑的 -You're always wearing black. -This isn't black.
这是深炭灰色 This is dark heather charcoal.
我喜欢男性们辩论时尚话题 谁赢了 I love hearing fellas debate fashion. Who's winning?
泰德 我能和你说说新的战术吗 Oh, Ted, can I run a new tactic by you?
是 你可以说 走 甩给我都行 我不在乎 Yeah, you can run it, walk it, cartwheel it to me. I don't care.
叫我小飞象 因为我竖着大耳朵听 Call me Dumbo, 'cause I'm all ears.
-这是同意吗 -是 -Is that a yes? -Yes.
好的 我们对战布伦特福德时 应该用伪九号战术 Okay. When we play Brentford, we should play with a false nine.
-非常同意 那是什么 -不让前锋上场 -Couldn't agree more. What is that? -Play without strikers.
好的 所以杰米和丹尼不上场 Okay. Wait, so Jamie and Dani ain't gonna play?
上 但是他们踢中场 这样没有人会预料到 They do, but they play in midfield where no one expects them to be.
-是 -懂了 -Yeah. -I see.
所以把两张王牌都收起来 Okay, so we got both our aces tucked up our sleeves, huh?
我喜欢 有趣 Love that. That's fun.
好的 今天我们试试你的假九号战术 Okay, today let's go ahead and try out your fake nine.
伪九号 False nine.
-嘿 看起来很帅 -谢谢 -Hey, this looks very nice. -Thank you.
又来了 Here we go again.
又给泰德一个将被他据为己有的主意 Give Ted yet another idea he'll take all the credit for.
工作就是如此 孩子 That's the job, son.
你们想过做负责人吗 Do you guys ever wanna be in charge?
做老大 Be the boss?
功劳都归自己 Get all the credit?
我们以前以为树与树之间会争夺阳光 You know, we used to believe that trees competed with each other for light.
苏珊席马德的田野工作对这观点提出质疑 Suzanne Simard's field work challenged that perception,
如今我们意识到森林是社会主义社区 and we now realize that the forest is a socialist community.
树木和谐共生 共享阳光 Trees work in harmony to share the sunlight.
你就不能给我一个直截了当的回答吗 Can't you just give me a straight answer for once?
我觉得他挺直接的 I think he just did.
好吧 如果这战术有用 一定会有用的 Right. When this works, which it will,
我会告诉所有人那是我的想法 那本来就是 I'm telling everyone it was my idea, which it was.
你的眉毛不狂野 Your eyebrows aren't crazy.
谢谢 Thank you.
而是很变态 They're psychotic.
多谢夸奖 I appreciate that.
他们的队列不整齐 They can't maintain their lines.
-这些家伙无法将动作同步 -没事的 -These guys are just not in sync. -It's okay.
不行 不对 嘿… Oh, hell no. No, no. Hey, hey.
不对 各位 拜托 这样不行 No. No, no. Guys, come on. That ain't gonna cut it.
你们必须保持一致 好吗 像这样 Y'all gotta be together on this, all right? It's like this.
也许你恨我 但那不是谎言 好吗 You may hate me, but it ain't no lie. Yeah?
然后是手势 拜 拜 拜 好吗 Then the hands. Bye, bye, bye. All right?
看我的舞步 不是谎言 And watch my jumps. Ain't no lie.
看到我是怎么跳的吗 就像木偶 See how I'm jumping? Like I'm a marionette.
所以这首歌是《振翅高飞》专辑里的 That's why this song is on the album No Strings Attached, all right?
对 好的 Yes. Okay, good.
听着 各位 在大夫的离职派对上 表演这首歌 Now, look, fellas, performing this at Doc's going-away party
不会有任何意义 ain't gonna mean Bo Jackson diddly squat
除非她能看出来我们排练得多努力 unless she can tell how hard we worked on it.
明白了吗 You know what I mean?
不在于结果 那不是礼物 重要的是用心 It ain't the execution. That ain't the gift. It's the effort.
好吗 懂我的意思吗 Yeah? Okay? You see what I mean?
不好了 Uh-oh.
（阿库佛）
好 Okay.
我真心道歉 My most sincere apologies.
我听说你们的训练应该已结束了 I was told your training would be finished by now.
没事 哈库呐玛塔塔 对吧 Oh, that's okay. Hakuna matata, right?
对不起 这有点种族歧视的意味吧 Oh, I'm sorry. That was kind of racist, wasn't it?
丁满和彭彭只是卡通角色 Oh, you know, Timon and Pumbaa are cartoons.
-所以我就不揪着不放了 -嘿 谢谢 -So I'll let it slide. -Hey, I appreciate you.
你一定是艾德文阿库佛 So, you must be Edwin Akufo, huh?
-是的 -我是泰德拉索 -Yeah, I am. -I'm Ted Lasso.
我不和人握手 I don't shake hands.
但我请了专人负责 弗兰西斯 But I have someone who does. Francis.
-嗨 -是 -Oh. Hi. -Yes.
这是我经历过最棒的握手之一了 That is one of the best handshakes I've ever hand shook right there.
坚定但令人感到舒适 就像专为手指做的重力毯 Firm yet comforting, you know, like a weighted blanket for my hand toes.
那么 我猜你是想和韦尔顿女士谈话 So, I bet you're looking to chop it up with Miss Welton, yeah?
希望可以 If that's not impossible.
你说“可以” 但我只听成“我可以” Well, you say impossible, but all I hear is "I'm possible."
这笑话写下来更好懂 Makes more sense when written down.
-明白 -是 -Okay. -Yeah.
-请这边走 -谢谢 -Right this way, fellas. -Thank you.
-帮忙接手 -如果非要找我 -Take it from here? -If it's gotta be me.
好的 灰狗们 排好队列 Okay, Greyhounds, now let's get in formation!
威尔 快点 Will, here we go!
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
加油 Come on.
很好 Good.
跳 Hit this.
就是这样 That was it!
太好了 Yes!
我非常钦佩你的俱乐部 它在本赛季的表现太出众了 I cannot tell you how much I admire what your club has done this season.
降级通常会毁了一些球队 Relegation destroys some teams,
但似乎却让你们越挫越勇 but it's only seemed to have made yours stronger.
那全是因为你面前的这位老板 也许涓滴经济很糟糕 That's all 'cause of the boss right here. Trickle-down economics may stink,
但涓滴支持的味道如同披萨 but trickle-down support smells like pizza,
玫瑰 我想还有维奥拉戴维斯 roses and, I assume, Viola Davis.
我确实很在乎这家俱乐部 阿库佛先生 I do care about this club, Mr. Akufo.
非常在乎 Very much.
所以我就有话直说了 That's why I'll cut straight to the point
我没有兴趣出售俱乐部 and tell you that I'm not interested in selling.
我不是想买下你的俱乐部 Oh, I'm not trying to buy your club.
我想买下你们的一位球员 I'm interested in buying one of your players.
山姆奥比桑亚 Sam Obisanya.
但瑞贝卡爱山姆 But Rebecca loves Sam.
是 我们都爱山姆 Yeah, we all love Sam.
没错 Exactly.
而且山姆和我们的合约还有三年才到期 Also, Sam is under contract with us for another three years.
是 我理解 Yes, I understand.
因此 我向你们提供一笔大额转会费 Therefore, I would offer you a generous transfer fee
金额之高 人们会认为我疯了 of so much money that people would think I'm crazy,
而你会占我的便宜 and you've taken advantage of me,
当然 是金钱上的便宜 不是性 in a financial, non-sexual way, of course.
我觉得他是在给你一个你无法拒绝的出价 I believe he's making you an offer you can't refuse.
《教父》 懂了 Oh, Godfather, I see you.
我则要拒绝一个他无法开出的价 Well, I'm refusing an offer he can't make.
那是《教父3》的台词吗 Is that a quote from the third movie?
我只有一个问题 I just have one question.
你的俱乐部是什么 What club is it that you actually own?
我没有 Oh, I don't.
至少现在还不能谈论 At least, not one I can talk about yet.
但那是一个非洲的俱乐部 But it is a team in Africa,
我觉得山姆也许愿意 在离家人近的地方踢球 and I figured that Sam might appreciate the opportunity to play near his family.
离家乡近 You know, his home.
真该死啊 要是有两个山姆就好了 Well, gosh dang it. Now I wish we had two Sams, you know?
你一个 我们一个 One for y'all and one for us.
对了 目前的克隆技术进展如何 Where are we at with cloning these days, by the way?
苏格兰人似乎很久没提这件事了 Them Scottish folks have been mighty quiet on that front for a while,
所以意味着快成功了 which means we gotta be close, right?
正如我父亲过去常说的 白人就算悲伤难过 但依旧是白人 Yeah, well, like my father used to say, a sad white man is still a white man.
有道理 Word.
我只希望有机会可以和山姆聊聊 All I'm asking is for an opportunity to speak to Sam.
让他自己决定如何 Maybe let him decide for himself, yes?
好 Yes.
希望我没打扰你们 Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting.
时机正好 Perfect timing.
山姆 这是艾德文阿库佛 Sam, this is Edwin Akufo.
他不喜欢握… Oh, he doesn't like to shake--
阿库佛先生想和你聊聊 Mr. Akufo would like to speak with you.
我们可以去博物馆 I figure we could maybe go to a museum,
吃点东西 have something to eat.
好 Sure.
太好了 请 Wonderful. After you.
好的 Okay.
见到你们很开心 It's lovely to meet you all.
-拜拜 -你也是 -Bye. -You too.
真奇怪 So strange.
我曾经写过一部舞台剧 讲的是一个亿万富翁 I once wrote a play about a billionaire
带一个足球员参观博物馆 然后去吃饭 who took a footballer to a museum and then dinner.
剧里发生了什么 What happens in the play?
他们获得一顿免费的饭 Well, they get their meal for free
因为在意面里发现了玻璃渣 because they found a little bit of glass in the pasta.
天啊 真希望我会写小说 God, I wish I could write fiction.
谢谢 基莉 其实我应该修订那个作品 Oh, thank you, Keeley. You know, I should revisit that work.
是 Yeah.
嗨 不 Hi. No.
抱歉 你吓到我了 Sorry. You got me.
哇 没想到你在这里 Wow, I didn't expect you to be here.
我也没想到 No, me neither.
有什么能帮你的吗 What can I do for you?
你能不能帮我挑一套高档西服 Well, I just wondered if you'd mind helping me pick out a fancy suit?
没问题 时机正好 Abso-fucking-lutely. Perfect timing, actually.
我得为拍照挑几身衣服 I've gotta pick up some outfits for this photo shoot I'm doing.
一起去吧 Come with.
-现在吗 -现在 -What, now? -Now.
我们可以一石二鸟 Let's go kill two birds with one stone.
对 我们去用石头砸死几只鸟 All right, yeah. Let's go… murder some birds with a rock.
很好笑 That was good.
-是吗 -是啊 -Yeah? -Yeah!
-我曾被一只鸟袭击过 -是吗 -I got attacked by a bird once. -Did you?
年轻人 你似乎来晚了 Young man, I think you're late for class
晚了25年左右 by about 25 years.
你要来一支棒棒糖吗 Would you like a lollipop?
不 No.
肯特教练来了 这只有一个解释 It's Coach Kent, which can only mean
那就是没人告诉他今天放半天假 菲比的妈妈几小时前接走她了 nobody told him it's a half-day and Phoebe's mom picked her up hours ago.
真… Fu…
好 …n.
真好 对吗 That's fun, innit?
好吧 回头见 Okay. See you later.
我一直都猜 我们回家后老师会喝酒 I always thought this was what the teachers did when we went home.
今晚的艺术筹款会 Art fundraiser tonight.
20英镑可以买一幅孩子的作品 For 20 quid, you can buy a kid's art.
40英镑 我会把丢弃作品的垃圾桶 一起寄到你家里 For 40, I'll send it home with you already in a rubbish bin.
这个生意模式很合理 That's a solid business model.
哪一幅是菲比的 Which one of these is Phoebe's?
我无法展出菲比的画 Oh, I won't be able to display Phoebe's artwork.
为什么 Why not?
糟糕 Oh, no.
她画胸… She draws ti--
精确得令人不安的乳房炭笔画 对 Unnervingly accurate charcoal sketches of breasts, yes.
还有几幅 但被几位男生偷走了 There were more, but some of the boys stole them
我认为他们将画当作货币流通 and I think are using them as currency.
老天爷 Bloody hell.
不错 Nice.
-需要帮忙吗 -是 -Do you need a hand? -Yep.
（基莉：带内特买新西服）
（今晚见 多谢你做这件事 亲亲）
除非你有事得走 Unless you need to go.
（我很高兴这么做 回头见 亲亲）
不 我有时间 No, I got time.
今天是物品展示描述日 It's show-and-tell today.
我应该带杰米塔特的球衣 还是乐高霍格沃茨城堡 Should I bring my Jamie Tartt jersey or my LEGO Hogwarts?
我会选择杰米塔特球衣 I gotta go with the Jamie Tartt jersey
因为霍格沃茨城堡不容易搬运 for fear of how Hogwarts might travel, you know?
有道理 好主意 Good thinkin', Abe Lincoln.
嘿 伙计 我得挂了 祝你今天在学校开心 我爱你 Hey, buddy, I gotta let you go, okay? Have a great day at school. I love you.
爱你 Love you.
嗨 老大 有什么事 Hey, boss. What's up?
是 我就直接说了 Right, I'm just gonna come out and say it.
我和山姆曾有一段热恋 I had a torrid affair with Sam.
爸爸 我还在线 Dad, I'm still on.
嘿 抱歉 Hey, sorry about that.
-好的 回头聊 -拜拜 爸爸 -Okay, I'll talk to you later. -Bye, Dad.
好了 Yeah.
好的 让我想想 Okay, so let's see.
-你和… -山姆 -You and-- -Sam.
塞缪尔杰克逊 …uel L. Jackson?
-奥比桑亚 -是 好吧 只是确定一下 -Obisanya. -Right, okay. Just checking.
好的 我觉得这很棒 Okay, well, you know, I think that's great.
等等 Hold on.
等等 不 Wait. No--
对 我确实这么认为 没问题 Yes. Yeah, I do. No, I think that's fine.
-我觉得我应该结束这段关系 -当然 我明白 -I think I need to end it. -Sure, I can see that.
我让他给我一点时间想清楚 I asked him for a bit of time to figure things out.
我们目前处于充满悬念的状态 And now we're in a bit of a limbo situation.
充满悬念在侦探小说里不错 但作为恋爱关系很糟 Great party game, horrible relationship status.
然后艾德文阿库佛突然出现 要带走他 And then Edwin Akufo swoops in to take him away,
我失去了任何客观判断能力 and I've lost all objectivity.
山姆是很棒的球员 Sam's a really great player.
我们最出色的球员之一 One of the best we got.
但我要因为自己的感情而让他留下吗 But do I want him to stay because of my feelings for him?
问得好 Good question.
-我们在一起确实很快乐 -拜托 -We really were great together. -I mean, come on.
山姆和瑞贝卡已经是 我最爱的电视情侣之一 Sam and Rebecca are already one of my all-time favorite TV couples.
如果现实生活中也有一对 支持 谢谢 To have one of them in real life? Yes, please.
但如果他想走 我不该挡道 But if he wants to go, I shouldn't stand in his way.
我很同意 I could not agree more.
但如果我放他走 也许这辈子我都会后悔 But if I let him go, I might regret it for the rest of my life.
我更同意了 Turns out, I could agree more.
瑞贝卡 Well, Rebecca.
听我说 Listen to me.
别听我说 Don't listen to me.
别听艾德文阿库佛说 Don't listen to Edwin Akufo.
甚至别听山姆说 Don't even listen to Sam.
你听从你的直觉 好吗 You just listen to your gut, okay?
在寻找直觉的途中 顺便问问自己的心 And on your way down to your gut, check in with your heart.
这两样东西将告诉你如何做 Between those two things, they'll let you know what's what.
它们合作无间 They make good harmony,
就像骨头帮的三分之二成员一样 like two-thirds of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, you know what I mean?
谢谢 泰德 Thank you, Ted.
其实 老大 你开始形成了某种习惯 You know, boss, you're starting to develop a bit of a habit.
-有吗 -是的 -Am I? -Oh, yeah.
去年的同一时间 同一地点 你也对我说出了一个惊人的真相 Same time, same place last year, you dropped another truth bomb on me.
-那么明年不见不散 -我等不及了 -See you next year. -I can't wait.
天啊 太美了 我都不敢看你 Oh, my God. That's so good, I can't even look at you.
谢谢 雅克欧 Thanks, Jacques-o.
喂 你在里面还好吗 宝贝 Oi, how you doing in there, babe?
天啊 这地方好高档 God, this place is so posh.
感觉我不该来这里 Feel like I'm not supposed to be here.
这地方是给愚蠢的有钱人准备的 This place is for rich twats
他们把钱挥霍在只穿一次的衣服上 who piss away all their money on an outfit they only wear once.
但是 内特 今天你也是他们的一员 But, Nate, today you are one of those twats.
我挺喜欢 I quite like that.
-这真有趣 -是 -Oh, this is so much fun. -Yeah.
罗伊从不和我逛街 Roy never does this stuff with me.
他总说：“我是罗伊肯特” He's always like, "I'm Roy Kent."
“我为什么要逛街 "Why do I need to go shopping?
我已经有黑色T恤衫和牛仔裤了” I already own a black T-shirt and jeans."
这件可以 This is yes.
但我担心裆部 But I'm worried about the crotch.
裆部是不是太松了 看起来有点松 Does the crotch feel loose? The crotch looks loose.
基莉 你觉得裆部如何 Keeley, thoughts on the crotch?
天… Oh, my Go--
我觉得裆部看起来很好 I think the crotch looks great.
可以将裆部改小一点 We can have the crotch taken in.
裆部紧一点比松要好 It's better to have a tight crotch than a loose crotch, you know?
但这身西服很棒 对吗 But we love the suit, yes?
我…你觉得怎么样 I-- What do you think?
我觉得这件不太好 No, I don't think this is it.
-是的 -立即脱掉 -No. -Take it off immediately.
你们要喝点什么吗 Would you guys like a drink?
好的 Oh, yeah, go on.
一杯香槟 Glass of champagne?
我不用了 谢谢 I'm all right, thanks.
喂 是免费的 Oi, it's free.
而且 And…
看一眼价格你就会希望多喝几口了 when you see the prices, you're gonna wish you'd drank more of it.
老天 是的 Oh, my God. Yeah.
一杯威士忌 谢谢 拜托了 A whiskey, thank you. Please.
敲敲门 大夫在吗 Knock knock, Doc Doc.
别告诉我现在你要占我的办公室了 Oh, please don't tell me you're taking my office now.
什么…不…我只是来 What. No, no. I just came up
邀请莎伦医生参加明晚科林的生日派对 to invite Doctor Sharon to Colin's birthday party tomorrow night.
科林的生日是8月21日 Colin's birthday is August the 21st.
你记得这个 真棒 I love that you know that.
我知道所有人的生日 Yeah, I know everybody's birthday.
真的 Really?
-连姆尼森 -6月7日 -Liam Neeson. -June 7th.
-蒂娜特纳 -11月26日 -Tina Turner. -November 26th.
查克诺里斯 莎朗斯通和奥萨马本拉登 Chuck Norris, Sharon Stone, and Osama Bin Laden.
全部都是3月10日 All March the 10th.
你真厉害 而且你说得对 You are good. And you're right.
科林的派对只是一个借口 其实是莎伦的欢送派对 Colin's party was just a cover story for Sharon's going-away party.
不赖吧 Not bad, huh?
真抱歉要由我转告你 泰德 但莎伦已经离开了 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Ted, but Sharon's already gone.
我不同意 希金星尘 莎伦明天才离职 Beg to differ, Higgy Stardust. Sharon's last day is mañana.
对 但发生了一件急事 她必须今晚离开 Yes, but an emergency came up, and she has to leave tonight.
她不辞而别了 Wait, she left without saying goodbye?
她给每个人都写了一封信 She wrote everybody a letter.
我的信很棒 Mine was very nice.
这是你的 Here's yours.
不 No.
别放过她 泰德 Don't let her get away with it, Ted!
是 Yes.
-哇 -了不起吧 -Wow. -I know, right?
柯烈奇瓦内利 Kelechi Nwaneri.
对 他的画作太惊人了 Yeah, his work is incredible.
他是尼日利亚人 Well, he's Nigerian.
我刚买下了 I just bought it.
我会将它赠予加纳的海岸角城堡博物馆 So I can donate it to the Cape Coast Castle Museum in Ghana.
这幅画属于非洲 This piece belongs in Africa.
真棒 It's amazing.
就算以尼日利亚的标准也很棒 Even for a Nigerian.
山姆 我是一个充满矛盾的人 Sam, I'm a walking confliction.
我是亿万富翁 I am a billionaire,
但我认为世界上不应该存在亿万富翁 yet I don't believe billionaires should exist.
所以我打算拆分我父亲的王国 That's why I'm breaking up my father's empire.
我会用那些钱做更好的事 I'm using the money to make better things
希望能让世界变得更好 and hopefully make things better.
你和我想的完全不同 You are not at all what I expected.
你甚至没有保镖 You don't even have a security detail.
好的 Okay.
那是因为我把整个博物馆买下了 That's because I bought out the entire museum
这里的人都是演员 and filled it with actors.
我就说在《我可以毁掉你》看过他 Oh, I thought I recognized him from I May Destroy You.
你饿吗 Are you hungry?
饿极了 Starving.
我知道一个完美的餐厅 I know a perfect place.
-艾德文 -见到你很开心 -Edwin. -It's good to see you.
-这是我朋友山姆 -嗨 你好吗 -This is my friend, Sam. -Hey, you all right?
很高兴认识你 Lovely to meet you.
恭喜 你们俩都认识了一位很酷的人 Congratulations. You both just met a cool person.
再见 Cheers.
再见 See you.
-挺酷吧 -什么 -Pretty cool, eh? -What?
-那是班克斯 -班克斯 -That was Banksy. -Banksy?
是的 Yeah.
-那位… -对 -The-- -Yes.
我的天 Oh, my God.
抱歉 Sorry.
来吧 谢谢你 宝贝 Yeah, let's do it. Thanks, babe.
我的天 Fuck me!
-不错 -不错 -Yeah? -Yeah.
你看起来真性感 You look so hot.
我给你快速调整一下领带 I just wanna fix your tie really quick.
过来 好 Come here. Okay.
对了 真谢谢你 Thank you so much, by the way.
你擅长一切事 You're so good at everything,
你总是在帮助他人 让生活变得更好 and you're always helping people and making things better.
就和你一样 Just like you.
-抱歉 -没事 -Sorry. -It's all right.
你有没有… Do you ever--
你会不会想过自己当老板 Do you ever feel like you wanna be the boss?
-会啊 -是 -Yeah. -Yeah.
我以前担心自己会变成我妈妈 I mean, I did used to worry that I was gonna end up like my mum.
她在同一间公司勤勤恳恳做了许多年 She spent years working at the same company tirelessly
最后功劳都被一个男人抢走 just for a man to take all the credit.
她没有勇气做更大的梦 She wasn't brave enough to dream big.
所以我决定与她走完全不同的路 So, I decided to do things very differently.
然后我遇到瑞贝卡 And then I met Rebecca,
她激励了我 让我想成为老板 and she inspired me to wanna be a boss.
像你我这样的人 我们总是志向高远 People like you and I, we can't help but dream big.
没有人会像我们这样 为了梦想不懈努力 对吗 And no one is gonna fight harder for their dreams than us, right?
是 Right.
最可怕的部分是决定行动 The scariest part of all of it is making the decision to just go for it.
因为一旦行动 其余一切都会水到… 'Cause once you do that, then everything just sort of falls in--
天啊 对不起 我不是… God. I'm so sorry. I didn't--
-没关系 -不 有关系 -That's okay. -No, it's not.
-真的没关系 别紧张 -不 没事… -Yes, it is. Don't worry about it. -No. No, it's fine--
-没… -不 这… -It was-- -No, it was--
-这种事谁都可能会遇到 -这不是… -It happens sometimes to the best of us. -It's not--
-我只是… -我… -I just-- -I--
天啊 我还是离开… God, I'm gonna get outta this--
-别担心 -我确实担心 -Don't worry about it. -I do worry about it.
别担心 Don't.
该死 Shit.
那是低年级的作品吗 Is that a younger year?
不 同年级的 Nope, same year.
那为什么他们的画这么难看 Then why are their pictures shit,
而你们班的…不难看 and yours are… not shit?
我在孩子们把画毁了之前就把画拿走 Well, I take the pictures before they can fuck them up.
他们讨厌这样 但我知道这个办法最好 They hate it, but I know it's for the best.
所以你是刻薄的博文老师 So you're Ms. Bowen, the mean teacher.
菲比喜欢你 Well, Phoebe likes you.
她很聪明 大部分孩子很讨厌我 She's smart. Most of them hate me.
他们给我起了20来个难听的外号 They have, like, 20 different mean nicknames for me.
说吧 Go on.
我不知道有哪些 I don't know any of them.
罗圈腿老师 无聊老师 呆瓜老师 龟头老师 大船脸老师 Ms. Bowlegs, Ms. Boring, Ms. Bonehead, Ms. Bellend, Boaty Ms. Boatface
有个小男孩起的外号简单明了：死巫婆 and then there's one little boy who simply calls me Fuck-witch,
我承认那是我最爱的一个 which is admittedly my favorite.
最好的老师总是那些最严厉的老师 Well, best teachers are the toughest ones.
我的第一位教练会骑摩托车 追着我绕球场跑 My first coach used to chase me round the pitch on a motorbike
就像在演《疯狂麦克斯》 like we were in fucking Mad Max.
那太可怕了 That's terrifying.
对 但那也让我速度变快了 Yeah, but it made me fast.
半小时倒数开始 The half-hour countdown begins.
没什么比家长会更糟的了 Nothing worse than parents' mixers.
他们有免费的霞多丽酒喝 我则要抵御那些单亲爸爸们 They get free chardonnay, and I get to ward off all the single dads.
-还有一些不是单亲的爸爸 -是 -And not-so-single dads. -Right.
你结婚了吗 Are you married?
没有 No.
（提醒事项 该出发去拍照了）
-我得走了 -你不留下来参加艺术展 -I've gotta go. -You're not gonna stay for the art show?
不了 抱歉 No, sorry.
多谢你的帮忙 Thanks for all your help.
凯伦 看在老天份上 快长大吧 Karen, for God's sake, grow the fuck up.
哎哟 瞧瞧谁骑着奇怪的脚踏车来了 Well, well, well. Look what the weird bike rode in.
泰德 你在这里站了多久 Ted, how long have you been standing out here?
很久 A long time.
我很需要去一趟厕所 And I really gotta use the john too,
但我打算再憋一会儿 因为我对你太生气了 but I'm gonna hold it a bit longer, 'cause I'm so dang ticked off at you.
我是对的 这样通过走廊容易多了 I was right. It's a lot easier to navigate that hallway
脚踏车可以折叠起来 with this thing all folded up.
谢谢你帮忙搬上来 Thank you for carrying it up.
你怎么能不辞而别 How could you just leave?
抱歉 我不擅长道别 Sorry, I'm not good with goodbyes.
在我的婴儿时期 我不擅长走路和说话 Well, when I was a baby, I wasn't good at walking and talking,
但我坚持练习 瞧瞧我的进步 but I stuck with it and look at me now.
-你拿到我的信了吗 -拿到了 -Did you get my letter? -Yes.
-你读了吗 -没有 -Did you read it? -No!
我们为你策划了一场盛大的活动 We had a whole thing planned for you.
你知道让一群成年男人学舞蹈有多难吗 You know how hard it is to get grown men to learn choreography?
几乎是不可能的任务 老天 我们甚至给你准备了礼物 Almost impossible. Heck, we even got you a gift.
剧透警告 礼物是一包现金 Spoiler alert, it's a bunch of cash.
-谢谢 -不客气 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
但是 泰德 你知道我要离开 But, Ted, you knew I was leaving.
没错 但我以为我有机会和你告别 I did, but I thought I was gonna get a chance to say goodbye to you.
我的妻子离开我 我爸爸离开我 My wife left me, my dad left me,
你比世界上任何人都更清楚 被人抛下会让我有什么感觉 and you, more than anyone in the world, knows how I feel when I get abandoned,
但你却这样离开了 and you just left.
我在留给你的信里写了这件事 I wrote about that. It's all in the letter I left for you.
等等 好的 你是说这个 这封信 Wait a minute. Okay. You mean this? This right here?
你猜如何 我永远不会读你的信 Guess what. I'm not gonna read your letter, ever, okay?
如果你有话要对我说 那就当面说 You got something to say to me, just say it to my face.
我以为我们有进展了 I thought we had a breakthrough.
你确实有进展 你直面那些过去无法… You did. You confronted things you had--
不…我不是说我 我说的是我们 No, no, no. Not me. I'm talking about us.
-我们是有进展 泰德 -是 -We did, Ted. -Yeah.
多亏了你 我明白了 Thanks to you, I've learned that
表达我的脆弱能帮助病人 应对他们自身的脆弱 expressing my vulnerabilities can help my patients with theirs.
你帮助我成为了更好的治疗师 You helped me become a better therapist.
这是很了不起的 因为我已经那么优秀了 And that's saying something, because I was already fucking brilliant.
多谢你的夸奖 That's nice of you to say.
但是你却打算这样离开 而不让我知道这些 And yet, you were gonna leave without letting me know any of that.
-泰德 信里都写了 -都在信里 -Ted, it's all in the letter. -It's all in the letter!
都在你的信…好吧 行 我来读读你这封愚蠢的信 It's all in your-- Okay, well, fine. I'll read your stupid-ass letter.
真令人火大 Unbelievable.
你的“最爱”拼错了 You spelled "favorite" wrong.
这封信写得很好 It's a very good letter.
我更喜欢写下告别的话 而不是说出来 对不起 I feel more comfortable writing goodbye than saying it. I'm sorry.
没关系 我懂 It's okay. I understand.
去罗伊斯顿的火车午夜才发车 My train to Royston doesn't leave till midnight.
一起喝一杯吗 Wanna grab a drink?
我请客 I'm buying.
好吧 这很好 Yeah, okay. That'd be nice. Yeah.
-但我真的需要先去小便 我得… -左边的门 -But I really gotta pee first. I gotta-- -Door to the left.
我从没在伦敦吃过这么美味的西非餐 I've never had West African food this good in London.
我竟然不知道这家餐厅的存在 I can't believe I didn't know this place existed.
其实不存在 Well, it doesn't.
这是我为了我们开设的 I had it created for us.
我带来了自家的厨师 I brought in my own chefs.
我经常出差 I travel often,
我知道想念家乡的味道是什么感觉 and I know what it's like to miss the food from home.
演员 Actors?
朋友 Friends.
听着 我想对你实话实说 Listen. I wanna be honest with you.
我觉得自己不会离开里士满 I don't see myself leaving Richmond to play for…
加入你以后拥有的某支球队 well, whatever team you end up owning one day.
山姆 你是第四个知道这件事的人 Sam, you are the fourth person to know this.
我将买下摩洛克的拉贾卡萨布兰卡 I'm buying Raja Casablanca in Morocco.
我人生的唯一重心 就是让我们变成世界上最大的俱乐部 My only focus in life will be to make us one of the biggest clubs in the world.
拜仁 曼联 巴黎圣日耳曼 巴塞罗那 Bayern, United, PSG, Barcelona…
卡萨布兰卡 Casablanca.
全球最优秀的非洲球员将回家 The greatest African players around the world will come home
加入我们 to play for us.
相信我 20年后 一支非洲球队将赢得世界杯 Mark my words, in 20 years, an African team will win the World Cup.
山姆 你激励全世界关注祖国的问题 Sam, you inspired the world to care about what's happening at home.
所以我希望你为我们踢球 That's why I want you to come play for me.
我看上了你出色的人品 而不是你球员的那一面 I want the incredible man you are, not the footballer.
虽然球员的那一面也很棒 Although the footballer too is incredible.
谢谢 Thank you.
这…看来我需要好好考虑一下了 I mean… You've given me a lot to think about.
拜托了 慢慢来 不用急 Please. Take all the time you need.
你有72个小时考虑 You have 72 hours.
嘿 把加罗夫饭吃完吧 Hey, please. Finish the jollof. Huh?
千万别客气 I insist.
谢谢 你知道 我很欣赏你用尼日利亚的方式烹调 Thank you. You know, I appreciate that you had it made the Nigerian way.
我觉得你会喜欢这样 虽然加纳的方式明显更好 Well, I thought you'd prefer it, even though the Ghanaian way is better.
我知道我们相处得很不错 但我会为了这个和你据理力争 Oh, I know we've been getting along, but I will fight you on this one.
那就放马过来吧 Let us fight then.
太好了 肯特先生 Oh, wonderful, Mr. Kent.
你在楼上准备 先穿黑西服拍 We've got you upstairs. You'll start in the black suit,
然后最好让尼基给你修一下眉毛 and then we'd love for Nicky to take a pass at your eyebrows.
嘿 抱歉我迟了 Hey. I'm sorry I'm late.
你没迟 宝贝 你的服装在柜子里 You're not late, babe. Your outfit's in the closet.
你看起来好酷 You look cool as fuck.
谢谢 Thank you.
你和内特西装买的怎么样 How was suit shopping with Nate?
挺好的 Yeah, it was fine.
我知道你讨厌这种事 宝贝 但是会很棒的 好吗 I know that you hate this stuff, babe, but it's gonna be good, yeah?
请说会很棒 因为我要崩溃了 Please say that it's gonna be good 'cause I'm really losing it.
我好紧张 I'm so nervous.
宝贝 你为一千本杂志拍过照了 Babe, you've done a thousand magazines.
你曾为服务站拍广告 You did an advert for a service station
要从飞机上裸着上身跳下 还一边吃汉堡 where you jumped out of an airplane topless eating a hamburger.
你不可能比那次还紧张 You can't be more nervous than that.
但这次不同 But this isn't that.
那次的重点是我的外表 It was about how I looked.
这次是关于我 This is about me.
我接受了采访 真正的采访 I had to do an interview, like a real interview.
但他们问我关于我的想法和感受的事 They asked me about my thoughts and my feelings
还有我的未来目标 and my goals for the future.
人们读这篇文章后就会了解我 When people read this article, they're gonna see me.
了解真正的我 See the real me.
真正的你棒极了 The real you is fucking amazing.
而现在全世界都会看到那个你 And now the whole world is gonna get to see that.
你是闪闪发光的基莉琼斯 You are Keeley fucking Jones,
独立女性 the independent woman.
你会大放光彩的 You're gonna kill it.
那我就不裸上身了吧 So I should keep my top on?
可以拍一张 Maybe for one shot.
谢谢 Thank you.
你好 爸爸 Hello, Dad.
对 Yeah.
棒极了 It was incredible.
对 他带我参观博物馆 然后我们吃了尼日利亚菜 Yeah, yeah, he took me to a museum. And then we had Nigerian food.
很不错 接下来互相对视 Okay, great. And now look at one another.
来吧 Come on then.
真棒 能给我85毫米的镜头吗 That's wonderful. Can I get the 85, please?
更换镜头 稍等片刻 Switching lenses. Will only be a second.
好的 Yeah.
好的 我之前和内特逛街挑西服时 All right, so, earlier when I was suit shopping with Nate,
发生了一点小误会 there was a little misunderstanding.
他试图吻我 He tried to kiss me.
那没什么要紧的 It wasn't a big deal,
但我觉得应该让你知道 but I just thought you should know.
真惨 一定很尴尬 Shit. That must've been awkward.
谢谢你告诉我 Thank you for telling me.
我之前和菲比的老师聊了三小时 I was talking to Phoebe's teacher earlier for three hours.
结束时她问我是否已婚 我只是说没有 And at the end she asked me if I was married, and I just said no,
没有说别的 nothing else.
我不知道为什么 I don't know why.
在葬礼上 At the funeral,
杰米说他仍爱着我 Jamie told me he still loves me.
好了 可以了 Okay. Here we go.
转向我吧 Turn to me.
哎哟 谁是弹珠机高手啊 Well, well, well. Look who knows her way around a pinball machine, huh?
-我爱弹珠机 -是 -I love pinball. -Yeah.
这是最有意思的冥想方式之一 It's one of the most entertaining forms of meditation.
你的唯一对手是你自己和重力 Your only opponent is yourself and gravity.
对 我们无法摆脱的两样东西 Yeah, two things we're stuck with.
至少直至那个伊隆马斯克 不再在推特上和人吵架 At least until that Elon Musk fella stops messing about on Twitter
开始专心开发喷气背包 and starts focusing on jet packs.
“SMF” "SMF," huh?
我猜一下 Oh, let me guess.
莎伦米尔德里得菲尔德斯通 Sharon Mildred Fieldstone?
性感高手 Sexy motherfucker.
安息吧 内尔森先生 Rest in peace, Mr. Nelson.
-再来一轮 -好的 来吧 -Another round? -Oh, yeah. Come on.
这就来 Come on now.
这轮我请 其实 这样吧 不 This one's gonna be on me. Actually, you know what? No.
还是你请 钱袋医生 Still gonna be on you, Dr. Moneybags.
不好意思 我得去一个 由我最爱的英国词语命名的地方 If you excuse me, I'm gonna go hit one of my favorite British words,
同时也是我最爱的 戴门德菲利普斯的名字 厕所 and my absolute favorite Diamond Phillips, the loo.
再来两杯 谢谢 梅 Another two, please, Mae.
-好的 -谢谢 -Okey dokey. -Thank you.
你是球队的心理医生 对吗 You're the shrink for the team, yeah?
说吧 问她 Go on. Ask her.
我怕蛇 I'm scared of snakes.
真的很怕蛇 就连我花园里的小蛇都怕 Like, really scared of snakes, even the tiny ones in my garden.
这有什么含义吗 Does that mean anything?
你希望它有什么含义吗 Do you want it to mean something?
我只是不想在照料番茄时心里感到害怕 I just don't wanna be afraid when I'm tending to my tomatoes.
因为花园是你的安全场所 Because the garden is your safe space.
原因在于蛇 Is it about the snakes,
还是恐惧和焦虑潜入你的意识 or is it about the fear and anxiety slithering into your consciousness?
就是这个 That's it.
最后那个 那就是原因 The last one! That's it!
魔法师 Sorceress.
-我一直重复做一个梦 -天啊 -I have a recurring dream… -Oh, God.
我在梦中漂浮 …where I'm floating.
不是飞 而是漂 Not flying, floating.
你们三个快滚一边去 Piss off, you three.
如果需要心理帮助 打我给你们的电话 You want psychiatric help, call the number I gave you.
思考一下 Think about it.
谢谢 Thanks.
-谢谢 梅 -给 亲爱的 -Thanks, Mae. -There you go, love.
不 我点了两杯 Oh, no. I ordered two.
泰德让我交给你 Ted asked me to give you this.
（再见 泰德上）
这混蛋把我的招数抢了 Son of a bitch stole my move.
这杯里面没有东西 Here's one with no shit in it.
谢谢 Thanks.
关于我们 我不能给你答案 I can't give you an answer about us.
我知道我不能要求你留下 And I know I can't ask you not to go.
但我希望你别离开 But I hope you don't go.
我该走了 I should go.
（你好 泰德 我是特伦特克里姆）
（《独立报》记者）
（这条消息将刊登在明早的印刷版中）
（拉索教练在足总杯比赛期间 惊恐症发作）
（拉索表示离开球场是因为食物中毒）
（线人称离场的原因其实是惊恐症发作）
（作为新闻记者 我必须这样写）
（但鉴于我对你的尊敬…）
（我的线人是内特）
（你对此有什么评论吗 ）
（不予置评）
字幕翻译：易晗