萨姆 是我 Sammy, it's me.
忆往昔
米迦勒做的大部分事我都不记得了 I don't remember most of what Michael did
因为我在水下 在淹溺 because I was underwater, drowning...
那个我是记得的 and that I remember.
每一秒我都感觉得到 I felt every second of it.
米迦勒为什么会那样放弃皮囊 Why would Michael give up his vessel like that?
我不知道 I don't know.
鬼魂基础知识 Ghosts 101.
鬼魂附身 Ghost possession.
绝对是鬼 Definitely a ghost.
一个人的灵魂可以附在一件 Somebody's spirit can attach itself
或多件物件上 to an object or a bunch of objects.
一切事物都有弱点 Everything has a weakness.
他们讨厌铁和盐 They hate iron and salt.
不论如何 绝不要出这个圈 Whatever happens, you stay inside this circle.
-那把矛在哪 -米迦勒想要矛 - Where's the spear?! - So Michael wants the spear
因为他知道那个可以伤他 because he knows it can hurt him.
你跟他没什么区别 You're no different than him.
我跟他才不像 I am nothing like him.
如今
绿灯侠 丧钟 蝙蝠侠
你家里有不用的金制品吗 Do you have unwanted gold just lying around the house,
除了积灰不干别的 collecting dust?
超人 活死人玩具
何不拿金换现钱 Why not turn that gold into cash?
在钻石大卫 Here at Diamond Dave's,
你今天就能拿到现金 you can have cash in your hands today.
只要你卖 我们都买 We'll take anything you want to sell us.
俄亥俄州 塞勒姆
格洛丽娅姨妈去世后 When Aunt Gloria passed away,
地狱冒险者
给我留下了一堆珠宝 我不知道该怎么处理 she left me so much jewelry, I didn't know what to do.
10月29日
于是我联系了钻石大卫 That's when I called Diamond Dave.
万圣节
只要是金的 就能换现钱 If it's gold, it's cash in your hands.
您正在收看吓死人电视台 You're watching Shocker TV.
本周吓死人节目 血溅当场 This week on Shocker, it's gonna be a blood bath.
还有大卸八块 We've got slicing and dicing.
还有尖叫女王 杀人机器 We've got scream queens and killing machines,
本周内全天候播放 24 hours a day, all week long.
把他们大卸八块 Time to slice and dice.
轰隆漫画
霹雳猫
15英寸超大猛猫手办 Mezco 15" Mega-Scale Panthro.
好帅啊 So handsome.
好凶 So angry.
视频通话
萨曼 Hey, Sam.
斯图尔特 你做了什么 Stuart, what did you do?
我 I...
没做什么 Uh, nothing.
是吗 Really?
因为大众点评上 Because according to Yelp
我们刚得到了一个一星评分 and this awesome, one-star review we just got,
据说你冲一位客人大吼 还说他 you screamed at a customer and called him a, quote,
"穿着托尼·斯塔克近亲繁殖远亲 "Mongoloid Tribble in a robotic exoskeleton
建造的机械外骨骼的白痴蠢货" built by Tony Stark's inbred third cousin."
这可不好 Which is not cool,
而且说得这么具体好奇怪 and weirdly, creepily specific.
那... That --
他说我打不过超人 He said I couldn't beat up Superman.
好吧 再说一遍 超人不是真的 Okay. Again, Superman is not real.
那不是重点 Okay. That's not the point.
而且我见过你吃玉米卷时都会大喘气 And I have seen you get winded eating a taco.
那无所谓 Okay, that doesn't matter.
如果我有氪星手套 就能打败超人 If I had kryptonite gloves, I could beat up Superman.
任何人都能 这是科学 萨曼 Anyone could. That's science, Sam.
我喜欢你在乎... Look, I -- I like that you care --
非常在乎这些东西 really, really care about this stuff,
但我们需要每一位客人 好吗 but we need every customer we can get, okay?
冷静点 拜托了 So just chill a little, please.
好 Yeah, um...
好吧 Okay.
抱歉 萨曼 我有时会失控 I'm sorry, Sam. I just -- I just get spun out sometimes.
我知道 I know.
游戏之夜你来吗 Coming to game night?
当然 Of course.
到时见 I'll see you there.
我听到的都是借口 Yeah, well, all I'm hearing is excuses.
听着 我不在乎堵车 Okay, look, I don't care about traffic, okay?!
这都30多分钟了 It has been over 30 minutes, so --
所以 Hello?!
披萨得免费 Free pizza!
搞什么 The heck?
你怎么... H-How did you...
凶鬼恶灵 第十四季 第四集
...复活了他们 ...brought them back --
从地狱回来 back from Hell, again.
《地狱冒险者3 死而复生》 "Hell Hazers 3: It Lives Again."
现在继续播放《短斧杀手 万圣节》 And now back to "Hatchet Man: All Saints' Day."
节目将不会再有中断 There will be no further interruptions.
把他们大卸八块吧 Time to slice and dice.
该死 Son of a bitch.
这一区关闭了 This area's closed off.
我叫你走开了 伙计 I-I said beat it, buddy.
把他们大卸八块吧 Time to slice and dice.
崭新
干什么 What?
你干什么呢 Uh, what you doing?
吓死人在播恐怖片马拉松 Horror marathon on Shocker.
刚看完《万圣节》系列 Just made my way through the "Halloweens"
现在我正要... and now I'm about to --
怎么了 What?
是啊 我刮胡子了 Yes, I shaved.
好光滑啊 I mean, it's so smooth.
就像海豚的肚皮 It's like a... dolphin's belly.
行了你 Yeah, yeah.
我想来看看你 你还好吗 I wanted to check up on you. You doing okay?
你都几乎一周没从房间 I mean, y-you haven't really come out of your room
出来过了 in almost a week.
我们的工作什么时候"还好"过了 Well, since when is "Okay" a part of this job, huh?
小卡 在教杰克做事 Yeah, Cass, is, you know, showing Jack the ropes
黑凯雅和她的矛不见踪影 and Dark Kaia and her spear are in the wind
我们也完全不知道米迦勒在哪 and we have no clue where Michael is
想干什么 or what he's up to.
而且 我不是抱怨 但是 And, not that I'm complaining, but...
地堡里净是陌生人 the house is full of strangers, so...
那你就打算躺在这里 So your plan is to just lay in here,
看《短斧杀手》系列吗 不是吧 watching "Hatchet Man" movies, seriously?
《万圣节》可是部经典 "All Saints' Day" is a classic.
把他们大卸八块吧 Time to slice and dice.
-是吗 -你管呢 你都不看恐怖片 - Oh, is it? - What do you care? You don't even like scary movies.
是啊 迪恩 我们的生活就是恐怖片 Well, yeah, Dean, our life is a scary movie.
就是 Exactly.
我就喜欢他们跑 I like it when they run.
好吧 抱歉打扰你马拉松了 All right, well, I hate to disturb your marathon,
但我可能发现了案子 but I think I found us a case.
还是米迦勒的怪物吗 More Michael monsters?
不是 No.
杀人玩具 Killer toy.
他们是活的 杀人玩具 真事
什么样的玩具 What kind of toy?
然后那玩意袭击了我 And then the thing freakin' jumped me!
它不肯停下来 一个劲地... I mean, It wouldn't stop! It was just over and over. Just...
猛猫扁了我 Panthro kicked my ass.
霹雳猫 ThunderCats?
不是吧 Seriously?
是啊 Yeah.
但你还有你的披萨呢 But, I mean, you got your pizza,
和至少八部电影 at least eight more of these movies,
我就让你慢慢享受 so I'll just leave you to it,
我去找个别人... and I'll get one of the other guys to --
绝不 Oh, hell no.
绝不 Hell no.
不行 No.
猛猫是我的 Panthro is mine.
轰隆漫画
不知道是只有一个玩具出了问题 I wonder if we're talking, like, one toy gone bad
还是所有的玩具 or if it's like a whole crew,
像木偶师那种的 you know, like Puppet Master-style.
你真希望有不止一个吗 Do you actually want there to be more than one?
我不知道 I don't know, just...
还是不喜欢万圣节 是吗 Still not a fan of Halloween, huh?
不喜欢 Nope.
真逊 So lame.
万圣节快乐 Happy Halloween.
我稍后就去招呼你们 I can help you guys in just a second.
她就像你的双胞胎 She's like your twin.
什么 你说什么呢 What? What are you talking about?
纤弱的面孔 丝滑的头发 Her -- soft, delicate features, luxurious hair.
她就像你的非凡双胞胎 She's like your Wonder Twin.
是啊 Yeah.
好吧 All right, okay.
如果那是我 那... Well, if that's me, then, uh...
那就是你 that's you over there.
-那人 -嗯 - That guy? - Yeah.
-没错 -得了 我们完全没有共同点 - Yeah. - Yeah, we have zero in common.
《短斧杀手》 Hatchet Man.
不会吧 萨姆 No way. Sam.
快看 这可是大卫·耶格 Check it out. It's David freakin' Yaeger.
嗯 Yeah.
按按钮 Press the button.
把他们大卸八块 Time to slice and dice.
厉害 Dude.
我们偶尔都会做些坏事 We all do bad things sometimes.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or Treat!
哥们 Dude.
我需要这个 多少钱 I need this. How much?
不卖 Not for sale.
短斧杀手是经典 Hatchet Man's a classic.
是啊 完全没有共同点 Yeah. Nothing in common.
好了 有什么需要我帮助的 Okay, what can I help you guys with?
摇头娃娃 魔力卡 Funko Pops, Magic cards...?
-斯图尔特·布雷克 -古董风火轮 - Stuart Blake -- - Vintage Hot Wheels.
抱歉 你们是要找斯图尔特 I'm sorry. Uh, were you getting helped by Stuart
选风火轮吗 with vintage Hot Wheels, or...
不是 抱歉 No, sorry.
我是伊恩·吉伦 这是... my name is Ian Gillan, and this is...
里奇·布莱克莫 I'm Ritchie Blackmore.
我们是坎贝尔保险公司的 We're with Campbell & Sons Insurance.
我们听说了斯图尔特的玩具事故 We heard about Stuart's little incident with the toy,
我们想跟他谈谈 and, uh, we're hoping to speak to him.
他在家休养呢 Well, he's at home healing up.
我们去了他家 Well, we went to his place,
他的室友说他搬走了 and his roommate said he had moved out.
其实是被赶走了 Kicked out, actually.
是啊 他们吵了架 Right. They had a fight.
因为什么 Over...?
《北极星之拳》 "Fist of the North Star."
斯图尔特认为配音版更好 Stuart said that the dubbed version was better,
但...算了 不说了 but -- You know what, forget it.
我喜欢斯图尔特 但他挺怪的 I like Stuart, but he's an acquired taste.
听上去像是个容易树敌的人 Sounds like a guy who could make a lot of enemies.
也不会有什么死敌啦 I mean, not real ones.
在网上可能有 他到处乱喷 Maybe online -- He trolls everything.
好吧 我们现在去哪能找到斯图尔特 Okay, uh... where can we find Stuart now?
他在他妈妈家 He's at his mom's house.
当然了 Of course he is.
谢谢 Thanks.
斯图马上就上来 Stewie will be up in just a minute.
谢谢 Thanks.
你居然叫她给我们做苹果酒 I can't believe you had her make us apple cider.
那是她的提议 She offered.
不 你个蠢... No! No! You stupid, dumb --
你怎么能这么玩... That's not how you play the...
游戏结束 我不玩了 Game over! I'm done! Done!
你们是谁 Who are you?
我们是坎贝尔保险公司的 Uh, we're from Campbell & Sons Insurance, and -- -
你在下面干什么呢 What are you doing down there?
《堡垒之夜》 Fortnite.
是款电子游戏 It's a video game.
是最棒的电子游戏 It's the video game.
我是《塞尔达》死忠 Yeah, well, I'm a Zelda for life, so...
你在下面烧鼠尾草了吗 What, are you burning sage down there?
怎么了 So...?
我约会过一个超辣的哥特小妞 I-I dated this goth chick. Like, super hot.
在网上认识的 她痴迷威卡教 Met online, and -- and she was into Wicca.
说烧鼠尾草是好运 Said that burning sage was, like, good luck
还是什么的 or some crap like that.
你们没在一起了 So, you're not together anymore?
是啊 No.
我们还没面基 我就跟她分手了 I broke it off before we could MIRL.
谁需要哥特小妞的那些闹剧啊 You know, I mean, who needs goth-girl drama, am I right?
-面什么 -MIRL - Merle? - Uh, M-I-R-L.
"在现实生活中见面" "Meet in real life."
你怎么会知道那是什么意思 Why do you know what that means?
斯图尔特 我们是来询问 Stuart, we're here to ask about the attack
你报告的那起玩具袭击案的 you reported with the toy --
我编的 I made it up.
什么 You what?
整件事 是我撒谎 The whole thing. I lied.
但视频 But the video...
那是假的 That was fake.
我没想到会疯传 但真疯传了 I didn't expect it to go viral, but it did,
我... and, uh...I just...
我摔倒的 I fell.
因为医院病历上说 你的脸上 腿上 'Cause the hospital report said that you had marks
背部 和生殖器上 on your face, your legs, your back,
都有伤痕 and your... genitals.
那可不是摔倒造成的 That's not a slip and fall.
保险公司管这个干什么 Well, I don't see why an insurance company would care, you know?
我觉得你们该走了 And I-I think it's time for you to leave.
-好吧 但是... -马上走 - Okay, but -- - Now.
女版你没说错 那人真让人受不了 Lady-you wasn't kidding. That guy's a piece of work.
不管发生了什么 绝不是意外 Well, whatever happened was not an accident.
好吧 但那位宅男 不怎么会撒谎 Okay, but, uh... Big Bang in there, not a great liar.
是啊 No.
什么情况 咒语吗 So, what are we thinking? Spell?
他女友不是喜欢威卡教吗 Well, his girlfriend was into Wicca.
那未必都是女巫 Wicca doesn't always mean witch.
除非就是 Except when it does.
好吧 等到他们出门 All right, let's wait till they leave,
我们去查查有没有巫术袋 check out the house for hex bags.
好 Deal.
嗯 找点羔羊血 Yeah, find some lamb's blood.
没错 Right, exactly.
好的 All right, good.
保重 Stay safe.
没问题吧 All good?
嗯 是莱利 他没事的 Yeah, it was Riley. He'll be fine.
我不知道莱利是谁 但好吧 I don't know who Riley is, but cool.
万圣节快乐 Happy Halloween!
说真的 你为什么讨厌万圣节 So, seriously, what is your deal with Halloween?
我就是不喜欢 I don't like it.
但为什么呢 Yeah, but why don't you like it?
别说什么 And don't give me that, like,
"我们每天都过万圣节"什么的 "Oh, every day is Halloween for us" Crap, okay?
因为一 不是的 Because, one, it ain't.
我们不吃那么多糖 We don't eat that much candy.
二 你早就不喜欢万圣节了 Two, you've had this hate on for years.
是为什么 So...?
妈妈出门了 Mom's on the move.
好吧 那宅男呢 All right, what about our guy?
我可能知道斯图尔特为什么改了说法 You know, I think I know why Stuart changed his story.
他视频评论区的留言都很凶残 The comments on his video are all pretty brutal.
大家都说他是骗子 衰男 People are calling him a liar, a loser,
"霹雳猫怪" "ThunderSpaz,"
怪猫的私生子 猛猫的... Snarf's love child, Panthro's bi...
-小婊砸吗 -是啊 - Rhymes with "Itch"? - Yep.
网络真是厉害 人人都那么混蛋 Got to love the Internet, where everyone can be a dick.
救命 Help me!
救命 救命 Help me! Help!
陪着他 Stay with him.
好吧 Okay,
撑住了 等等 我们找人帮你 hang in there. Hey, wait. We'll get you help.
急诊室
我可怜的孩子 My poor baby.
是啊 有一阵挺危险 Yeah, it was touch and go there for a while,
但医生说他不会有事 but, uh, doctors say he's gonna be all right.
我好感激你们及时出现 I'm just grateful you showed up.
我... I...
谢谢你们 Thank you.
你们救了他 You saved his life.
我应该回家一趟 I-I should run back home,
去拿斯图最爱的枕头 get -- get Stewie his favorite pillow.
其实吧 Actually, you know what? Um...
你最好还是陪着他 It's probably better if you just stay here.
是啊 等到他醒来的 Yeah, just until he wakes up, you know?
当然 你们说得对 Yeah, of course. You're -- You're right.
我真是不知所措了 I'm just all flustered.
没事 都没事的 It's okay. Everything's fine.
绝对有事 Everything is not fine.
是啊 会飞的链锯让我最先意识到了这点 Yeah. My first clue was the flying chainsaw.
你在等救护车时 While you were waiting for the ambulance,
我简单搜了下巫术袋 没有 I did a quick sweep for hex bags, nothing,
但我拿出了电磁场检测器 爆表了 but then I pulled out EMF, went freakin' crazy.
-是鬼 -没错 - So it's a ghost. - Yeah.
我们得想办法 Hey, we got to figure out a way
把妈妈留在这里 我们去收拾他家 to keep mom here while we clear the house.
我不懂怎么会有鬼缠上斯图尔特 You know, I don't get why a ghost would be gunning for Stuart.
杀人 盗墓 Murder, grave robbery,
偷了他最爱的口袋妖 stole his favorite Pokémon --
随你选 I mean, take your pick.
是啊 Yeah.
好吧 你留下陪他们 All right, you stay here with them.
我去房子看看 打听一下 I'll go check the house, ask around,
-看有没有谁 -最近死了 - see if anybody -- - Got dead lately?
-是啊 -好吧 - Yeah. - All right.
好啊 萨姆 Nice, Sam.
你真行 Smooth.
怎么回事 What the hell?
吓死人频道
继续播放电影 Now back to our feature.
请观众酌情观看 Viewer discretion is advised.
你疯了吗 Are you insane?!
他们绝不会明白那是意外的 They will never understand that it was an accident.
你怎么来了 What are you doing here?
就是想盯着点他的情况 Just keeping an eye on Stuart.
他的保险一定很棒 He must have awesome insurance.
可棒了 Super-awesome.
嗯 Yeah.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat?
他还昏迷着呢 He's still out.
是啊 护士说了 Yeah, the nurse told me.
芭芭出去吃顿饭了 Babs went out for a quick bite.
我就想着我该留下来 Figured I'd stick around.
如果他醒来也有个人在 I want to be here when he wakes up.
他是我最好的朋友 He's kind of my best friend.
是吗 Is that right?
我... Look, I...
我知道斯图尔特有怪癖 但我们都有 I know Stuart has his stuff, but we all do.
我和我爸 相处得并不好 And me and my dad don't get along so great,
我们大吵起来时 and whenever we -- we really have it out,
斯图尔特就让我住他家 Stuart lets me crash at his place.
都不问问题 No questions asked.
我们会吃披萨 看电影 We just eat pizza and watch movies.
那... It's...
很禅 Zen.
他听上去是个好朋友 Sounds like a good friend.
是啊 但现在 他妈妈打电话说 Yeah, but now, when his mom called,
有人拿链锯袭击了他 said someone a-attacked him with a chainsaw?
看来是的 Looks like.
万圣节嘛 是吧 Happy Halloween, huh?
我得逃出去 Oh, I got to get out of here.
好啊 《万圣节3》 Cool. "All Saints' Day Three."
真是 Totally...
把他们大卸八块吧 Time to slice and dice!
要吓死我了 Like, creeping me out to the max.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.
把他们大卸八块吧 Time to slice and dice.
永远不过时 Never gets old.
很多人不喜欢这部呢 You know, a lot of people don't like this one,
但却是我最喜欢的 but it's actually my favorite.
是啊 I mean, sure.
医院永远不会那么空 There's no way a hospital would ever be that empty.
-但这就是抓错重点了 -未必 - but that's over-thinking it. - I don't know.
我经常晚上去医院 I've been to a lot of hospitals at night.
相信我 还真挺空的 Trust me, they get pretty empty.
《万圣节3》 Okay, so, "All Saints' Day Three" --
这是我的最爱 你呢 That's my top pick. What about you?
我喜欢第五部 I mean, I like Five, right --
《寻找大卫·耶格》 "Search for David Yaeger"?
因为很怪 但很血腥 'Cause it's weird, but it's bloody.
-超血腥 -是啊 - So bloody. - Yeah.
还是最好的那种 In the best way.
但是 But, uh...
我得选第四部 I got to go with number four.
-《短斧杀手不死》 -是啊 - "Hatchet Man Lives"? - Yeah.
选得好 Nice choice.
"因失控的恶作剧而死..." "Killed in a prank gone wrong..."
"机械师大卫·耶格 每年都会在 "Mechanic David Yaeger comes back every year
万圣节回到人间 on the day after Halloween.
在万圣节那天 短斧杀手前来复仇" On All Saints' Day, Hatchet Man takes his revenge!"
你真的很熟啊 You really know your A.S.D.
是啊 Yeah, well...
我从小 growing up, it was, uh...
有时间都会想暂时逃避现实 It was always nice to check out once in a while.
我喜欢看电影 I like to watch movies
因为我知道坏人会输 where I know the bad guy's gonna lose.
敲敲门 Knock knock.
该死了 Time to die.
我们要关门了 Oh, um, we're, um -- we're closing.
嗯嗯 我... Yeah, right. I-I just, uh...
抱歉 我想... Sorry. I'm just here to, um...
你听说斯图尔特的事了吗 Did you hear about Stuart?
嗯 他妈妈来送他的钥匙时 Yeah, his mom told us what happened
-把事情都告诉我们了 -嗯 - when she dropped off his keys. - Yeah.
他遭遇的事太疯狂了 I mean, what happened to him, that's insane.
是啊 我有几个问题 Yeah, yeah, so -- so I actually have a few questions, um...
可能不太寻常 and they might be a little different.
-什么意思 -就是 - Different like... - Different like, uh...
斯图尔特亲近的人里有谁最近死了吗 Has anyone close to Stuart died recently?
你是保险员吧 You're an insurance dude, right?
是的 我们一般 Yeah, yeah, and -- and we wouldn't normally
不会问这种问题 ask these kinds of questions,
但情况特殊 but it's a special circumstance, and...
那个... Well, I mean...
乔丹吧 Jordan.
漫画书店在塞勒姆市区开业
乔丹 Jordan?
是啊 他是店主 Yeah, he owned the store.
是他让斯图尔特 德克和我 He taught Stuart, Dirk, and I
了解了关于漫画和游戏的一切 everything we know about comics and games.
他就像我们的威利旺卡 He was like our own personal Willy Wonka.
听上去很棒啊 Sounds like a great guy.
是啊 He was.
癌症很讨厌 Cancer sucks, you know?
是啊 Yeah.
这店现在是谁的了 So, who owns the place now?
我和德克 Me and Dirk.
乔丹留给了我们 Jordan left it to us.
没给斯图尔特吗 But not Stuart?
斯图尔特在这里工作 但乔丹开了他两次 Stuart worked here, but Jordan fired him twice.
他总逮到斯图尔特偷东西 He kept catching Stuart stealing,
对于乔丹 and to Jordan,
这地方是他的生命 this place was his life, you know?
你又把斯图尔特雇了回来 And you hired Stuart back?
他是我的朋友 He's my friend.
好吧 Right.
好 乔丹埋在了哪 Okay, uh... Where is Jordan buried?
没埋 他是火化的 Nowhere. He was cremated.
好吧 Oh, um, right.
好 抱歉 让我... Sure, uh, excuse me. I just have to, uh...
那是什么 What's that?
没什么 Nothing.
一氧化碳探测器 It's a, um... carbon monoxide detector.
那...很严重吗 Wh-- Is that -- Is that bad?
是啊 Yeah, yep.
很严重 Pretty bad. Um...
知道吗 你最好马上出去 You know what? Uh, you should leave now.
-什么 不 -好吧 听我说 - What? No. - Okay, listen to me.
这么说虽然奇怪 但我觉得你有危险 This is weird, but I think you're in danger --
萨曼莎 Samantha?
萨曼莎 Samantha!
你还好吗 Hey, are you okay?
不好 No?
刚刚发生了什么 What just happened?
我觉得... I think, uh...
是个鬼... I think a ghost --
鬼 A ghost?
是的 听我说 Yes, um... All right. Listen to me.
鬼是真的 它们可以附身一些东西 Ghosts are real, and they can possess things --
人 玩具 链锯 uh, people, toys, chainsaws,
看来还有真人大小的人偶 and, apparently, life-size figurines.
你不是保险公司的吧 You are not from an insurance company, are you?
并不是 N-Not exactly.
我也不确定 Listen, I-I-I'm not sure,
但我觉得乔丹的鬼想杀斯图尔特 but I think the ghost of Jordan is trying to kill Stuart.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
他伤你了吗 Did he hurt you?
没有 No, he just --
他把我推开 然后就走了 He shoved me out of the way, and then he bolted.
锁住了 It's locked.
钥匙呢 Where are the keys?
那个短斧杀手还是什么的拿走了 Hatchet Man or whatever took them.
-确定吗 -我 - You sure? - I --
我光顾着尖叫了 I was pretty busy screaming,
但是的 我确定 but, yeah, I'm sure.
这个贵吗 Is this expensive?
什么 What?
不 别 No, don't!
是啊 防碎玻璃 Yeah, it's shatter-proof glass.
乔丹的防盗措施不是盖的 Jordan's pretty serious about thieves.
健身操教练进大绞肉机 The aerobics instructor in the giant mixer.
是吧 然后次日早晨在休闲中心里 Right, and then the kids the next morning are
孩子们吃早餐 at the rec center, they're all eating breakfast,
有个人吃到一颗 and the one finds a tooth with all the stringy bits
还连着肉的牙 still hooked onto it.
拜托 Oh, come on.
《猛鬼街》《黑色星期五》
弗莱迪和杰森弱爆了 I mean, forget Freddy and Jason.
那才是恐怖片前十的杀人场面 That's top-10 horror-movie kill right there.
可以说头五了 Top-five, even.
还有那个运动员的脸 Oh, and then, the jock guy's face
被短斧杀手摁进了卡车引擎风扇里 when Hatchet Man shoves it into the engine fan of that truck
然后它... and it just, like... bbl-bbl-bbl-bbl-bbl-bbl...
你知道脑浆他们是用 Did you know that they made the brain splatter
盐水太妃糖做的吗 with saltwater taffy?
-这我不知道呢 -嗯 - I did not know that. - Yeah.
太酷了 That's pretty cool.
失陪 Excuse me.
什么事 萨姆 Yeah, what's up, Sam?
我们是对的 是鬼 We were right. It's a ghost.
那人叫乔丹·麦克尼尔 Guy's name was Jordan MacNeel.
曾是漫画书店店主 He used to own the comic shop.
好 那我们去墓地吗 All right, so we going to a graveyard or what?
不不 他是火化的 No, no, no. He was cremated.
而且 And, um...
怎么 And what?
他附身了店里那个大卫·耶格真人大小人偶 So, he possessed the David Yaeger figure at the shop,
我觉得他去杀斯图尔特了 and I think he's coming for Stuart.
等等 你是说 Wait, wait, wait -- Are you telling me that --
短斧杀手大卫·耶格要过来了吗 that Hatchet Man David Yaeger is coming here?
并不真是他 但是... Uh, I mean, not -- not literally, but...
短斧杀手要来了 Hatchet Man is coming here?
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.
看啊 Look at that.
哥们 Hey, man!
大卫·耶格 David Yaeger!
服装太赞了 Killer costume!
走吧 不给糖就捣蛋 Come on, let's go. Hey, trick or treat!
如果鬼是真的 那吸血鬼呢 If ghosts are real, does that mean vampires?
也是 Yep.
女巫呢 Witches?
狼人呢 Werewolves?
除了哥斯拉都是真的 Unless it's Godzilla, it's real.
好吧 进来 All right. Get in.
-但是 -马上 - But -- - Now!
听着 Now, listen to me.
鬼不能过盐圈 Ghosts can't cross the salt line, okay?
所以不管你听到什么 看到什么 So whatever you hear, whatever you see,
不管发生什么 都别出去 whatever happens, stay inside.
明白了吗 Capiche?
我不懂的是 What I don't get is,
乔丹为什么现在开始追杀斯图尔特 why is Jordan going after Stuart now?
没道理 It doesn't make any sense.
斯图尔特最近偷东西了 Stuart's been stealing.
-什么 -不是钱 - What? - I mean, not cash,
就是他觉得酷的东西 just stuff that he thought was cool.
斯图尔特不怎么能控制他的冲动 And Stuart doesn't have good impulse control.
我从他的新水里扣钱 I've been taking money out of his checks
补上了 但是我猜... to make up for it, but I guess...
鬼是不会知道这个的 a ghost wouldn't know that.
是啊 Yeah, guess not.
不是吧 Oh, come on.
该死 Damn it.
是啊 锁很结实的 Yeah. It's a hardcore lock.
好吧 我们得出去 All right. We got to get out of here.
好吧 怎么出去 Okay, how?
你有清洁用具吗 Do you have cleaning supplies?
怎么... What the...
救命 Help!
怎么回事 What's happening?
我得离开这里 I got to get out of here!
餐厅
乔丹 Jordan, I --
我知道你想杀斯图尔特 I know you're trying to kill Stuart,
但他是我的朋友 but he's my friend.
他是我们的朋友 He's our friend.
如果你想杀他 So if you want to do this,
你得先过我这关 you're gonna have to go through me!
该死 Oh, crap.
菲尔 你在哪呢 Hey, Phil. Hey, where are you?
拜托 Come on.
不 Oh, no.
跑 跑啊 妹子 Run. Run, girl.
我就喜欢他们跑 I like it when they run.
看到没 Now, you see that? You see that?
这是我最喜欢的部分 That's... my favorite part.
站住 别过来 Stop! Leave me alone!
不说话了 多杀人 Enough talking. More killing.
是不是 多赞啊 You kidding me? Are you kidding me?
嗯 Right?
-她跑太慢了 -拜托 - She is so slow. - Come on, man.
谁帮帮我啊 拜托 Somebody come and help me please!
人都哪去了 Where is everybody?
跑啊 妹子 Run, girl! Run!
你得快跑 妹子 拜托 You got to run, girl. Come on, man.
我奶奶跑得都比你快 My grandmother runs faster than you.
救命 谁来救我 Help! Somebody!
谁救救我 Anybody help me!
人都哪去了 Where is everybody?!
天呐 Oh, God.
天呐 乔丹 求你 Oh, God. Jordan, please!
你死了 You're dead!
离我远点 Get away from me!
我们杀了你了 你死了 We killed you. You're dead!
我们偶尔都会做些坏事 We all do bad things sometimes.
按按钮啊 Press that button. Press that button.
他肯定抓不到我的 告诉你 He would never catch me, tell you that much.
不 这不可能 No, this can't be happening.
不 不 No. No!
你逃不过短斧杀手的 You can't run from Hatchet Man.
-这不是 -真的 - This isn't... - ...real!
好了 All right.
这应该能行的 Pretty sure this will work.
你在哪学会这么做的 Where did you learn how to do this?
我童年很阴影 I had a messed-up childhood.
好吧 Okay.
开始了 Here goes.
好的 退后 Yep, all right. Uh, get back.
趴下 Get down.
-厉害 -厉害 - Cool. - Cool.
叫你别动的 Told you to stay put.
你不...他在这儿 You don't -- He's here.
哪里 Where?
把他们大卸八块 Time to slice and dice.
该死 Oh, hell.
三年前
1983年10月31日
大卫·耶格是个老实谋生的老实人 David Yaeger was an honest man making an honest living,
直到有一晚 一个恶作剧 until one night, when a practical joke...
害死了人 turned deadly.
总有一天 我们要为 One day, we're gonna have to answer
那晚的事付出代价 for the things we did that night.
那只是个恶作剧 It was just a prank.
1986年11月1日
现在 大卫·耶格又拿着他致命的短斧回来了 Now, David Yaeger is back with his faithful hatchet
要报复杀害了他的人 to get revenge on those who took his life.
如果那些该为他的死负责的人 If the people responsible for his death
没有为此撕心裂肺 weren't torn up about it...
他们也要被撕了 they're going to be.
把他们大卸八块 Time to slice and dice.
在这间黑暗寂静的医院 In this dark, quiet hospital,
他们怎么跑 怎么躲 they can run, they can hide...
我们杀了你了 你死了 We killed you. You're dead!
但无法逃过短斧杀手 ...but there's no escaping the Hatchet Man.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.
不 这不可能 No, this can't be happening.
我们偶尔都会做些坏事 We all do bad things sometimes.
《万圣节3 清算》 "All Saints' Day III: The Reckoning,"
即将上映 coming soon to a theater near you.
祈祷能生还吧 Pray for survival.
好了 听着 All right, look, man.
我知道你变鬼后 会变得有些... I know once you go Casper, things can be a little --
疯狂得多 well, a lot crazy.
依我看 你有两个选择 The way I see it, you got two options.
一 你放手 走入圣光 One, you let this go, and you walk into the light.
二 Or, two...
我送你去 I send you there.
把他们大卸八块 Time to slice and dice.
我就希望你那么说呢 I was kind of hoping you'd say that.
别过来 我能行的 Stay back! I got this.
问题是 鬼总有什么东西 Problem is, the ghost is always tied to an object.
比如其尸骨 生前对他们很有意义的东西 Right? Its bones, something that meant a lot to it in life.
不管那东西在哪 鬼一般会困在那里 Whatever that thing is, the ghost is usually stuck there,
但乔丹 他到处跑 but Jordan, he's been all over --
书店 斯图尔特家 the shop, Stuart's house,
-他怎么移动的 -钥匙链 - so how's he moving around? - The key chain.
-什么 -原本是乔丹的 - What? - It was Jordan's
但斯图尔特遭袭那晚是他关门的 and then Stuart closed up the night he got attacked
他把店里的钥匙带回了家 and he brought the shop keys home
后来他妈妈又把钥匙拿回了店里 and then his mom brought them back after.
这...讲得通吗 I mean, could that -- Does that make sense?
非常通 Yeah. It does.
走吧 Come on.
我们偶尔都会做些坏事 We all do bad things sometimes.
我 I --
抱歉 Sorry?
迪恩 钥匙链 Dean! Key chain!
给给 用这个 Here. Here. Use this.
他勒得好紧 It's really sunk in deep!
乙醇
快点 Hurry up!
把他们大卸八... Time to slice and Di...
真结束了吗 这就完了 Is it really over? Just like that?
"这就完了" "Just like that"?
是啊 你... Yeah, you're --
你们都安全了 包括斯图尔特 You're all safe now, even Stuart.
乔丹 他... And Jordan, is -- is he...
他去了更好的地方 He's in a better place.
谢谢 Thanks, man.
你带我出来 You, uh... You got me out here
是想让我走出坏情绪 'cause you needed to get me out of my funk
扳回一局 你做到了 and get me a win, and you did.
所以 So...
谢谢 thanks.
我得承认 这剧情跟我设想得并不完全一样 I got to admit, it didn't go exactly like I thought it would.
我刚跟大卫·耶格打了一架诶 Hey, man. I just went toe-to-toe with David freakin' Yaeger.
太棒了 That was awesome.
-并不是... -别扫我兴 - Yeah, it wasn't really -- - Don't ruin this for me.
迪恩 Hey, Dean...
等我们回地堡 when we get back to the bunker, man,
你不能再躲在房间里了 you got to stop hiding out in your room.
我没躲 I'm not hiding out.
我理解你为什么那么做 And I get why you're doing it.
真的 I-I do.
但是 But...
米迦勒的事 what happened with Michael...
你是为我 杰克 为你的家人答应的 You said yes for me, for Jack, for your family.
你做得对 You did the right thing.
之后的事 What happened after,
虽然米迦勒用了你的脸 just because Michael was wearing your face,
不代表这一切要怪你 doesn't mean any of this is on you.
我不怪你 没人怪你 I don't blame you. No one blames you.
你得停止责怪你自己 You got to try and stop blaming yourself,
求你 please.
我永远跨不过这个坎 I'm never gonna get over it, okay?
真的 I'm just not.
但你是对的 But you're right --
我光是闷在房间里 I'm not doing anybody any good
对别人也没好处 by just staying couped up in my room,
所以 你需要什么 我都会帮忙 so...whatever you need, I'm there.
好吗 老大 All right, chief?
好 就这样 All right. Well, that is it.
万圣节正式结束了 Halloween is officially over.
很好 Good.
好吧 说真的 为什么 Okay, seriously, why?
你为什么恨万圣节 是怎么了 Why do you hate Halloween? What is it?
是因为我吃掉了你所有万圣节糖果的那次吗 Was it the time that I -- I ate all your Halloween candy?
-不是 -还是爸爸 - No. - Was it something Dad did?
哥们 你不想知道的 No, dude, you don't want to know.
我真的想 真的 No, I really do. Really.
是什么 What?
好吧 All right.
记得安德莉亚·霍尔吗 Remember Andrea Howell?
不记得 No.
我六年级时 我们住在俾斯麦 When I was in sixth grade, we were living in Bismark.
我当时超级喜欢她 I had a huge crush on her.
好可爱 Aww, that's adorable.
继续说 Continue.
于是她请我去参加万圣节派对 So, she invited me to her Halloween party.
我就同意了 也去了 I said yes, and I-I went over,
起初 一切都很美好 and at first, everything was great, um...
然后我们开始玩游戏 And then we started to play games.
转瓶子吗 Spin the bottle?
咬苹果 B-Bobbing for apples.
我说了 我喜欢她 Like I said, I had a crush,
所以整晚上 我都很紧张 so the entire night, my stomach was in knots,
轮到我时 我弯下腰 然后... and when it was my turn, I-I bent down, and...
不是吧 No.
吐了 ...hurled.
吐得到处都是 Everywhere.
午餐 晚饭 都出来了 Lunch, dinner, it all came up --
主要是吐安德莉亚身上了 on Andrea, mostly.
大家跑开 尖叫 Uh, people ran and screamed,
场面很糟糕 and it was so bad.
太好玩了 That's great.
最后我躲进了树林里 I ended up hiding out in the woods
直到你终于来接我 until you finally came and got me.
所以你才恨万圣节 So that's why you hate Halloween.
-是啊 -拜托 - Yeah. - Oh, come on, man.
你得忘记那个 那... You got to get over that. That's -- I mean...
好吧 这么办 All right. This is what we're gonna do.
明年 我们好好过万圣节 Next year, we're doing Halloween right, okay?
配套装扮 比如 I'm thinking matching outfits like, uh...
蝙蝠侠和罗宾 Batman and Robin.
不要 No.
《芝麻街》
-伯特和厄尼 -不要 - Bert and Ernie. - No.
-那个有点怪 -是啊 - That's weird. - Yes.
《飞鼠洛基冒险记》
洛基和布威 Rocky and Bullwinkle.
迪恩 Dean...
《史酷比》
夏吉和史酷比 Shaggy and Scooby.
我们为什么... Why would we...
《古惑丑拍档》
特纳和霍奇 Turner and Hooch.
莱恩和史丁比 Ren and Stimpy.
《莱恩和史丁比》
拜托 Come on, now.
-塞尔玛和露易丝 -什么 - Thelma and Louise. - Thelma and --
《末路狂花》
穿上就走 We just put it in drive and go.
怎么... What the...
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.