前情提要✦✦✦
那个演过布拉佐斯的演员 The actor who played Brazzos
-现在都有他自己的播客了 -什么鬼 - has his own podcast now. - What?
法伦念了我的名字 哇哦 My name is in Fallon's mouth! Wow!
你们还有更多好料 对吗 You've got more coming, right?
有人在前台给我留了这个 Someone left that for me at the front desk.
给 梅布尔·莫拉 C10 阿尔科尼亚公寓
是蒂姆·科诺的电话 It's Tim Kono's phone.
给 梅布尔·莫拉 C10 阿尔科尼亚公寓
-什么 -哇哦 ‐ What? ‐ Whoa
蒂姆知道自己会被杀吗 Tim thought he was gonna get murdered?
他一直想扳倒一个叫安吉儿的黑市珠宝商 He'd been trying to take down this black market jewelry dealer named Angel.
翻译 林泰 小星星 嘉禾
认识下安吉儿 Say hello to Angel.
字 幕 侠
关注新浪微博 @FIX字幕侠
翻译 叮大咚 叮小咚
泰迪·迪马斯 Teddy Dimas?
ZIMUXIA.CN
我要给你们写张支票 一大笔钱哦 I'm writing you a check, and it's gonna be large.
校对 叮咚
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
后期 Jason肖 特效 小布
没错 我们的主要赞助商现在成了主要嫌疑犯 That's right. Our prime sponsor is now our prime suspect.
监制 叮咚
ZIMUXIA.CN
原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
嘿 你从哪儿弄到的 Hey, where'd you get that?
找到的 Found it.
为什么蒂姆要找 Why was Tim after the ring
-佐伊死的那晚戴的戒指 -不 她没戴着 - that Zoe had the night she died? - No, she didn't have it.
死的时候没有 Not when she died.
西奥 他们知道了 他们什么都看见了
成为粉丝意味着什么 What does it mean to be a fan of something?
对我而言 成为粉丝意味着 永远绝对忠诚 For me, it means undying absolute loyalty.
成为粉丝就像结婚一样 Being a fan is like being married.
不管情况有多糟 你都不能放弃 You don't quit, no matter how bad it gets.
这就是我对"只有谋杀案"的感情 That's how I feel about the Only Murders podcast.
难以置信 又没更新 Can't believe it's been another week without a new episode.
他们他妈的在上面搞什么鬼 一点动静都没有 The fuck are they doing up there? They just went silent.
-格兰特还在呢 别说脏字 -我他妈才不在乎 ‐ Watch the language around Grant. ‐ What do I fuckin' care?
各位 我们会不会遇见邦妮 Guys, what if we see Bunny?
或者那个养猫的霍华德 Or Howard the cat guy?
或者 查尔斯 Or Charles,
奥利弗 梅布尔 我都不知道自己该做什么 Oliver, Mabel? I don't know what I'd do.
我会一直待到他们揭示 I don't wanna leave this spot until they reveal
谁杀了蒂姆·科诺 who killed Tim Kono!
冷静 山姆 递一下甜甜圈 Calm down, Sam. Pass the holes.
我们自称"阿尔科尼亚狂人" We call ourselves the Arconiacs.
我们是在网站留言板上认识的 We met on a message board:
"超级平胸俱乐部"网站 我建的[电影] The Itty‐Bitty Omit‐Bitty Committee, which I founded.
自从上了法伦的节目后 这档播客节目小火了一把 Ever since Fallon, OMITB has been having a moment,
但我们才是老粉 but we are the day‐oners.
有些是"梅宝莲" Some fans are Mabelines.
有些是"哈登少女" 还有一些 比如我 Some are Haden‐Maidens. A few, like me,
是"普特狂" 我超喜欢奥利弗 are Putnuts. Oliver's my favorite.
我已经加了六个不同真实犯罪播客粉丝群了... I've been a member of six different true crime podcast fan communities...
但是 如此创新的一个节目 我还从来没有这么没信心 but I have never had less faith in a creative team than I do right now.
那个客串 斯汀呢 And what about that Sting cameo?
斯汀应该会是凶手 Like Sting's gonna be the murderer.
一整集都没什么转折 A whole episode with no stakes.
各位 你们怎么这么消极 Okay, guys, why are you being so negative?
你们到底喜不喜欢这档播客 Do you even like this podcast?
-爱死了 -真相的揭露 ‐ Love it! ‐ It's a revelation.
那就相信他们几个 好吗 Well then, trust the team, okay?
你想要转折吗 会有的 You want stakes? You're gonna get stakes.
可能马上就有了 They're probably right around the corner.
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粉丝臆想
那是什么味儿 What is that smell?
天 我不知道 闻... Jeez, I don't know. It‐it...
闻着像福尔马林 你知道吧 用来保存尸体的 Smells like formaldehyde. You know, they use that to preserve corpses.
尸体 Corpses?
你知不知道 Do you know
我是第一个在舞台上使用真人尸体的导演 that I was the first director to use a real cadaver on stage?
"星期二的伯尼餐厅" 这个舞台剧 In Tuesdays At Bernie's. It was my dual adaptation
是我根据"相约星期二"和"老板度假去"进行的改编 of Tuesdays With Morrie and Weekend At Bernie's.
什么 What?
西奥 西奥 西奥 Theo, Theo, Theo.
听我说 噢 不好意思 Listen to me. Oh, I'm sorry.
我知道那很不近人情 是个敏感话题 I know that was insensitive. It's a touchy subject.
够了 够了 西奥 Now, now, Theo.
这些是朋友 These are friends.
替我的儿子道歉 Apologies for my son.
他讨厌看戏 但他非常戏剧化 He hates the theater, but he's very dramatic.
泰迪 这都是误... T‐Teddy, this is all just a m‐mis...
为什么把我们带到垃圾场 Why are we at a dump?
你要把这些尸体扔在垃圾场吗 Are you gonna leave these dead bodies here?
我喜欢你 你的问题很有意思 I like you. You ask interesting questions.
我送你们回家吧 Let me give you a lift home.
我喜欢这个位置 I like this seat.
西奥读不懂我的唇语 从后视镜里也看不到我 Theo can't read my lips or see me in the rear‐view,
这样很好 which is nice.
因为我要说的这些事 Because it's not good for a son to hear,
儿子听了 看了 都不好 or see, his father say certain things.
在很长一段时间里 我觉得有个耳聋的儿子很丢人 For a long time, I felt ashamed to have a deaf son.
事实上 我的婚姻也因为这个完蛋了 It ended my marriage, actually.
还有 你知道的 那些妓女 That and, you know, all the whores.
但后来 我开始去了解西奥是如何看这个世界的 But then I grew to appreciate Theo's perspective.
我学了手语 I learned ASL,
但许多失聪儿童的父母并没有这么做 which many parents of deaf children do not do.
你知道吗 Did you know that?
-是这样吗 -是的 我有听说过 ‐ Is that right? ‐ Yeah, I've heard that.
我还没听说过 I didn't know that.
是西奥 让我懂得了沉默的美 Through Theo, I realized the beauty of silence.
有些人明明知道你一些事 It makes for beautiful friendships and partnerships
但却表现得好像他们从来都不知道 when those who may know certain things about you
这让友谊和合作更美好 can act as if they never heard those things.
我们听得清清楚楚 明明白白 泰迪 We hear you loud and clear, Teddy.
也可能没有 我不太知道你在说什么 Or we don't. I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about.
我说的是你了解的关于我的那些事儿 I'm talking about what you've heard and seen about me.
我的副业 珠宝 My side jewelry interests.
我承认 在残忍和强烈的心理作用下... Which I admit is fascinating in a...
这种行为让我疯狂 ghoulish and psychologically compelling way.
这是个不错的播客主题 只是不是你们的 A good subject for a podcast, just not yours.
因为你们的播客得结束了 Because your podcast needs to end.
你可以体面地结束 You can end it with dignity.
或者你可以死后再结束 Or you can end it posthumously.
我们知道你对蒂姆·科诺做了什么 We know what you did to Tim Kono.
我们对蒂姆·科诺一无所知 We don't know shit about Tim Kono.
所以在这里 我觉得很轻松 That's why I feel at ease here.
我知道 That, and I know
奥利从来不会说人坏话 而且还是曾经对他这么好的一个人 Ollie would never say bad things about someone who's been so good to him.
不 不 我不会 No, no, no, no.
我是这么想的 Here's what I'd like.
明天早上 大约7点起床 To wake up tomorrow morning, say 7:00 AM,
然后我发现 to find a final episode of the show
在我慷慨资助的节目的最后一集里 你们说自己错了 I so generously fund, and hear that you are wrong.
不幸的是 蒂姆·科诺是开枪自杀的 Sadly, Tim Kono shot himself,
原因就是... and, uh, the reason why is going to be...
孤独 loneliness.
或者其他什么原因 Or some thinky shit like that.
-绝对是个方向 -好好播 - It's definitely an area. - But make it good.
你们是艺术家 You're the artists.
而我只是一个卖熟食的... I'm just a guy with some delis...
不想再看到更多租户 who'd hate to see any more bad things happen to the tenants
遭遇不幸 in his building.
你们会做出正确的选择 You'll make the right choice.
因为如果你们不这么做的话 反正 我知道你们住哪 Because if you don't, well, I know where you live.
-小心点 -走 走 走 ‐ Hey. Careful. ‐ Go, go, go.
嘿 奥利弗 哇哦 Hey! Uh, Oliver? Whoa.
-等下 你是梅布尔吗 -绝对是梅布尔 ‐ Wait, are you Mabel? ‐ That's totally Mabel.
我的天呐 我们有粉丝了 Oh my god, do we have fans?
感谢上帝 我们有粉丝了 Oh, thank god, we have fans!
-新的一集呢 -你们不应该在录了吗 ‐ Where's the new episode? ‐ Shouldn't you be recording?
对 我们不为你们工作 你们这些卑鄙小人 Yeah, we don't work for you, you vultures!
-不好意思 我们赶时间 -我们相信你们 ‐ Okay. I'm so sorry. We're in a hurry. ‐ We believe in you.
不好意思 你哪搞来的这个 I'm sorry, where did you get that?
哦 自制周边 Oh, homemade merch.
我自己做的 所以... Worked on it myself, so...
我很好奇 你愿意花多少钱买件正版呢 Out of curiosity, how much would you pay for an official one?
我的天呐 普特南 快走 Oh my god, Putnam, let's go!
多经典的奥利弗-梅布尔对话 That was a classic Oliver-Mabel exchange!
-我们超期待下一集 -我们也超期待 - Hey, we're dying for the next episode! - We may be, too!
开门 是我们 Open up! It's us!
我们真的该搞把钥匙 免得他倒浴缸里没人救 You know, we really oughta have a key in case he falls in the tub.
他老是站不稳 你知道吧 He's not steady on his feet, you know.
查尔斯 Charles!
你们好 进来吧 查尔斯去买百吉圈了 Oh hey, come in. Charles is getting bagels.
好吧... Okay...
那个 你和查尔斯... So, uh, did you and Charles...
-我该怎么说呢 -庆祝彼此的身体了吗 - How do I say this? ‐ Celebrate one another's bodies?
直入主题了 Oh, we went right there.
-我的天... -好吧 "布棱"更赞[布拉佐斯] ‐ Oh Jesus... ‐ Okay. Brazzos.
布拉佐斯是我们的安全词 Brazzos was our safe word.
那我要说什么安全词来结束这段对话呢 And what's the safe word for me to get out of this conversation?
你们还好吗 要来点善品糖吗 Are you guys okay? Oh, do you want a Splenda?
简 拜托 我们目前忙着解决生死问题呢 Jan, please, we're focused on staying alive here.
行 不要善品糖 你知道 相关研究表明善品糖对身体不利 Okay, no Splenda. You know, there's some not-so-great studies.
嘿 大家好啊 你们回来了真好 今早真是美好 Hey! Hey, guys! Glad to have you back! What a morning!
是啊 我们过得可充实了 Sure is. We've had quite the time.
我们在一卡车死尸里挣扎求生 We survived a truck full of corpses
之后还收到了泰迪·迪马斯暗戳戳的死亡威胁 and an implicit death threat from Teddy Dimas,
不过好在你买到了百吉圈 but good thing you got bagels.
其实 我只买了我和简的 Well, actually, I just got enough for Jan and me,
不过等下 你知道吗 我骗你的 but wait, you know what? That's not true
因为这些调皮的蓝莓百吉圈 because these blueberry bad boys
会直接被放进冰... are going right into the freez...
你刚刚说"死亡威胁"吗 Did you say "death threat"?
-是啊 -迪马斯威胁要杀了我们 ‐ Uh-huh. ‐ Dimas threatened to kill us.
-你们还好吗 -好得很呢 可是泰迪... - Are you alright? - Oh,Tim-Tom-riffic. But Teddy...
他从没跟我提过 你知道他有多谦虚... and he never mentioned this to me, you know how modest he can be...
他竟然是个盗墓贼 疯子 turns out, is a psychotic grave robber,
他说 如果我们明早之前 who says that if we don't drop
不放出最后一集 说他什么都没干 a final episode by morning, saying that he did nothing,
他就会往我们脑袋里放几颗子弹 he's gonna drop a few bullets in our skulls.
泰迪·迪马斯不知道我们知道了什么 Teddy Dimas doesn't know what we know,
我们现在知道更多了 and we know a lot more now.
等下 我们知道啥 Wait. What do we know?
我和简花了一早上 翻完了蒂姆·科诺的手机 Jan and I spent the morning going through Tim Kono's phone,
我们发现了超多秘密 and we made a ton of secret discoveries.
可以说 我们的调查 Let's just say it sends our investigation
由此转向新方向 into a whole new direction.
-好吧... -她是不是天生的侦探 ‐ Okay... ‐ Isn't she a natural?
蒂姆保留了所有记录 Tim was a meticulous record keeper.
里面有字条和照片 There are notes and photos in here.
有扫描的收据和剪报 There's scans of receipts and newspaper clippings.
把这些串在一起 我们发现 So, putting them all together, we found out
他对迪马斯一家紧追不放的原因了 why he was after the Dimases.
他看见泰迪的儿子西奥 He saw Teddy's son Theo
大概十年前 在阿尔科尼亚楼顶把一个女孩推下去了 push a girl from the roof here at the Arconia almost 10 years ago.
蒂姆看见的是西奥 It was Theo that Tim saw.
泰迪威胁蒂姆保密 可是蒂姆直到死前 Teddy threatened Tim to keep him quiet, but Tim was working
都在努力扳倒泰迪 然后他就停下来了 to bring Teddy down till the day he died. And then he stopped.
是啊 因为泰迪杀了他 Yeah 'cause Teddy killed him!
哇 还是不要直接下结论 Whoa, let's not leap to conclusions
因为从手机里并看不出来这一点 'cause I don't see that in this phone.
-好吧 我不行 我搞不来了 -查理 ‐ Okay, I can't. I can't do this. ‐ Um, Charlie?
-借一步说话 -好啊 - A word. ‐ Sure.
-我把这些弄好 等下一起吃 -好的 ‐ I'll set these up. We're sharing. ‐ Alright.
-她是不是超级棒 -是的 太好了 - Isn't she the best? ‐ Oh, totally. Amazing.
-很喜欢她 特别多想法 -是的 - Just love her. So many opinions. ‐ Yes,
我们为你感到特别开心 好吗 但是 we're very, very happy for you, okay? But,
可能发生了一些事 there's something that may have happened.
我们... 做爱了 一起 We... had sex. Together.
好的 我知道 但是现在事情变得很严肃 Ew, yes. Okay, I know that, but shit just got super real,
如果我们想在明早七点前扳倒迪马斯 首先... and if we want to take down Dimas before 7 AM, first...
确认一下这是大家的目标吗 Is that what we're gonna do?
-至少点头或者摇头吧 各位... -对 对 是的 - A nod or a no, guys... ‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah.
然后 我们需要真正的帮助 真正的后援 Then, we need real help. We need real backup.
-谁啊 -给我们蒂姆手机的人 ‐ Who from? ‐ The person who gave us Tim's phone.
我来处理 I'll handle this.
我在"布拉佐斯"里演过无数次了... I played this scene a million times on Brazzos...
可别说那个词 Oh, don't say that word.
有什么可以帮到各位的 How can I help you?
该谈钱了 宝贝 It's money time, baby.
今天谈好 日后支票发邮件给你 Payday's here, and the check is in the mail.
谈谈那个在阿尔科尼亚公寓 As in the deceased murdered male
被谋杀的蒂姆·科诺 没错 被谋杀 at the Arconia, Tim Kono. That's right. I said murdered.
好的 我听到被谋杀了 但其余的那些是什么玩意儿 Okay, I heard murdered, but what the fuck else was the rest of that?
-那个 是 警察的行话 不是吗 -不是 ‐ Well, it's, uh, police talk, isn't it? ‐ No.
我们担心 We are part of a concern
蒂姆·科诺是被迪马斯那爷俩杀的 that has reason to believe Tim Kono was murdered by the Dimas family.
-卖熟食的那个 -熟食 还有犯罪 ‐ The deli people? ‐ Delis, but also crime.
这都是根据我们在蒂姆手机里找到的证据推断的 Based on the evidence we found on Tim's phone.
这样啊 那你们是怎么找到那个手机的 Uh‐huh. And how did you get said phone?
-你给... -嘘 嘘 嘘... ‐ Well, you gave... ‐ Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh...
可能... 不管是谁给的... Maybe... whoever did that...
那个人 关于蒂姆的死 还有些疑问没解决 still has some lingering questions about Tim's death,
还遇上了巨大的阻碍 and is up against enormous obstacles
所以希望你们能把找到的证据 and was hoping you could help them by releasing
制作成一集播客节目 帮他们解开谜团 a podcast episode with all your evidence.
所以 就是你 So, it was you.
如果我们做了新的一集... I mean, if we make that episode...
你不会什么都不干了吧 You don't want to be sitting ducks.
我懂 我正在暗地里调查 I got you. I'm low-key running
毒性报告和笔记本上扫描下来的指纹 a tox report and fingerprint scan off the laptop
有人用蒂姆的笔记本替他写了遗书 剩下的就交给你们了 someone typed Kono's goodbye on. The rest is on you.
非常感谢 我非常 非常抱歉 Thank you so much. And I am so, so sorry
关于查尔斯和梅布尔在第一集中对你的评价 about the things that Charles and Mabel said about you in episode one.
还有第二集 第三集里也有点 And two. Some of three.
好吧... 我们要保证 Okay... So, let's just make sure
我们一定对这件事保密 好吗 we keep this tight. Okay?
尤其是你们准备指控熟食之王的话 好吗 Especially if you're accusing the Deli King? Alright?
所以 你们要找到凶手 谋杀手段 谋杀动机 以及谋杀时间 So, get the who, the how, the why, and the why now.
查出… 查出什么和什么 Get‐get the what and the what?
你为什么要说什么 我没说什么 没有什么 See, why would you say what? I never said what. There's no what.
凶手 谋杀手段 谋杀动机 It's the who, the how, the why,
谋杀时间 好吗 好好找找 and the why now. Alright? Make the case.
他妈的一定要保密 And make sure it's super fuckin' tight!
我们得在明早前搞清楚 And we need to make it by morning.
-凶手 还有… -凶手… - The who, and the... - The‐the who...
-凶手 什么... -不是什么 - The who, the what... - Not the what.
-不 是动机 动机 -谋杀手段… - No! The why! The why. - How...
我觉得在卡车里待了一晚上 终于有点不舒服了 Oh, I think the night in the truck is starting to get to me.
有人饿吗 Is anyone hungry?
压力这么大 也没什么蘸酱吃 我干不了 I cannot function with all this pressure and nothing to dip.
谋杀时间 我们有什么相关信息吗 But what do we have for the why now?
什么都没 真的… Nothing, really...
自制披萨卷 Homemade pizza rolls.
很棒… Oh, that's great...
看来吃什么 这个谜题解决了 Well, I guess the mystery of what we're gonna snack on is solved!
我想带你看看这儿 I want to show you this place.
不要小情侣 不要 No to this. No.
双手赞成 I totally agree.
但不得不承认 披萨卷闻起来不错 你觉得呢 But, gotta admit, these pizza rolls smell good. What do you think?
别喂我 Stop.
有人点了派对外卖吗 Did someone order up a party?
嘿... 奥斯卡 Hey... Oscar.
谢谢你最后回了我消息 Thanks for finally answering my texts.
对不起 我最近有点心不在焉 Sorry. I've been a little preoccupied
-还有点受伤 -怎么了 - and minorly traumatized. ‐ Huh?
关于这个案子我有个大消息 I got big news about the case.
什么味道 我饿死了 Oh, what's that smell? I'm starving.
很高兴见到团队的另一位成员 你好 我是简 Nice to meet another member of the team. Hi, I'm Jan.
我是奥斯卡 披萨卷看起来不错 Uh, Oscar. Those look amazing.
还是自己做的 太棒了吧 And homemade! I mean, how fun is this?
我们要成为一个小团体了 We're becoming a community.
有什么大消息 So, what's the big news?
-我碰到那个叫卡特的家伙了 -这是珠宝的关键人物 - Oh, I met up with that Cutter guy. ‐ Oh, that's the jewelry connection.
蒂姆被杀之前见过那个人 The one Tim met up with before he got iced.
那你拿到那个绿宝石戒指了吗 Okay, so did you get the green ring?
没有 这就是关键 No, that's the thing.
卡特卖掉了 Cutter sold it.
卖给了科诺 To Kono.
蒂姆是在被杀前一天拿到的 Tim actually got it the day before he was killed.
佐伊的戒指在蒂姆那吗 Tim had Zoe's ring?
没 我们没在他的公寓找到 No, no. We didn't find it in his apartment,
而且他所有的珠宝都在我这 and I have every piece of jewelry he had in there.
可能杀他的人拿走了 Maybe whoever killed him took it.
-迪马斯家的人 -对 - The Dimases! - Yeah.
除了他们 没人会在乎那枚戒指 I mean, who else would care about that ring?
这是直接证据 That's direct evidence!
-这就是我们查到的谋杀时间 -是吗 ‐ And that's our why now. ‐ Oh, is it though?
我不知道 这... I don't know. It...
这都是间接证据 毕竟没有戒指 It's all circumstantial without the ring.
我们不知道戒指是不是在迪马斯那 We don't know the Dimases have it.
间接的 Circumstantial.
我一直想用这个词 Always wanted to throw that word around.
天呐 太刺激了 谢谢你邀请我来 Oh god, this is so exciting! Thank you for inviting me into this.
-尽管我们没有 -什么 ‐ Although we didn't. ‐ I'm sorry?
荣幸之至 很棒 Our pleasure. It's great.
现在 我们需要知道他们是的谋杀手段 And now, we need to know how they did it.
前提是 他们是凶手 If they did it.
好了 各位 我要去透透气 Okay, you know what? Guys, I need air
还要给这些非常干的披萨卷拿点蘸酱 and, uh, some dip for these really dry rolls.
这些配上健肠奶 一定很美味 These will pair very nicely with Gut Milk.
等等 嘿 Oh wait! Hey!
天 你们难道没有家回吗 Jesus, don't you people have a home to go to?
-那孩子哪去了 -格兰特去上钢琴课了 - What happened to the kid? ‐ Grant had a piano lesson.
而且 他已经不想等新的一集了 Also, he got tired of waiting for a new episode.
现在的孩子啊 Kids these days.
-夜夜笙歌 大吃大喝 -是的 - Everything is binge, binge, binge. ‐ Yeah.
他们永远不会知道 为了一点点你想要的东西而等待的乐趣 They'll never know the pleasure of waiting for just a crumb of what you want.
我女儿说她不欢迎我参加她的婚礼 My daughter says I'm not welcome at her wedding.
-老天… -但我们知道 ‐Jesus... ‐Uh, but‐but we know that
你正处在重要的转折点 you are on the cusp of something big,
我想和你共迎那个转折点 and I want to share in that cusp.
说得对 凶案的谜底很快就要解开了 Exactly right. The resolution is moments away.
不止一个嫌疑人 对吧 It's not just one suspect, right?
-为什么你这么觉得 -逻辑 ‐ Why do you think that? ‐ Logistics.
还有那晚火警响起来的时间 And the timing with the fire alarm that night.
有意思 总之 都在我们的考虑之中 Interesting. Well, it‐it... Anyway, it's all coming together.
-太赞了 我特别激动 -谢谢 - It's amazing! I'm so buzzed! ‐ Ah, thank you.
我觉得那些自杀字条是蒂姆·科诺在被杀的那天写的 I feel like Tim Kono the night that he wrote those suicide notes!
你们现在忙吗 Are you all busy right now?
-不忙 -不忙 ‐ No. ‐ Mm‐mmm. No.
跟我来 Come with me.
救兵来了 孩子们 Reinforcements, kids!
见鬼 Oh shit.
-这么多人 -现在是怎么回事 ‐ More people? ‐ What is happening right now?
我疯了 我疯了 Losing it. Totally losing it!
你好漂亮 You're so pretty.
谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
山姆 波莱特 马福 见… Sam, Paulette, Marv, meet...
好吧 你认识他们 Well, you know them.
你们都是… You all...
播客的狂热粉 你是那个穿扎染帽衫的 Big fans of the podcast. You're Tie‐Dye.
是OG The OG!
自我介绍一下 我是简 And I'm Jan. Introducing myself.
-啊 -你好 ‐ Oh. ‐ Hey.
-简是我的女朋友 -是吗 ‐ Jan is my girlfriend. ‐ I am?
-如果你想的话 -想 ‐ If you want to be. ‐ Yes.
真是一对俏佳人 What a handsome couple.
我前妻也比我年轻得多 My ex‐wife was way younger, too.
兄弟 留言板里"海登少女"的心可要碎了 Oh man, this is gonna break Haden‐Maiden hearts on the boards.
那我也没办法了 What I'd give.
好了 我们三个 得谈谈 Okay, um, us three, we need to talk.
抱歉 好吧… Excuse me. Okay. Yeah...
-你好 -你好 ‐ Hey... ‐ Uh, hey.
-他们来这里干什么 -我们需要他们来帮我们找到谋杀手段 ‐ What are they doing here? ‐ We need help with the how.
-他们吗 -他们比我们知道得多 ‐ From them? ‐ They know more than we do.
肯定比简知道的多 她... Certainly more than Jan, who is...
怎么说比较礼貌 帮倒忙 How do I put this politely? Reverse‐helpful.
法国猪老远就能闻到埋在地底下的松露 Like a French pig who can sense truffles buried underground
不过松露可不是什么好东西 from miles away, only the truffles are bad ideas.
[松露与精液气味接近 有催情作用]
你说的可是我女朋友 That is my girlfriend you're talking about,
我们上过床的 不知道有没有跟你们说过 and we had sex. I don't know if I said that.
-这个就不用再提了 -各位 ‐ Please stop talking about that. ‐ Guys,
这些粉丝反反复复 听了每一期节目 these fans listen to every episode, over and over.
他们就是之前的我们 They're us before we took this on.
我们还没成为我们之前 不也希望我们能参与到凶杀案中吗 Wouldn't we want us on this case before we were us?
说得不错 Not a bad point.
说得云里雾里的 Not a very clear point.
我希望我们的粉丝更潮一点吗 当然 Look, do I wish our fans were a little more hip? Yes.
我希望 Do I wish they were
他们更注重卫生一点吗 毫无疑问 a tad more on top of their hygiene? Absolutely.
他们的眼神 Do they have a‐a confused
是不是和听到奇怪声音的狗眼一样呢 look in their eyes, like a dog that's heard a strange sound?
是的 但是把狗拴上雪橇 Yeah. But, strap that dog to a sled, and, baby,
宝贝 那可就能飞跃北极冻土带了 you'll be flying across the tundra.
蒂姆·科诺住在第九层 Tim Kono lives on the ninth floor,
但是 在他死的那天晚上 but on that night, he got on the elevator
他是从六楼上的电梯 手里还有包垃圾 with a trash bag from floor six.
为什么 Why?
我们怎么没注意这一点 How did we miss that?
六楼住的是泰迪 Floor six is Teddy's floor.
那包垃圾是蒂姆的还是泰迪的呢 Cool, but was it Tim's garbage or was it Teddy's?
-问得好 -而且... ‐ It's a good question. ‐ And...
那些字条是泰迪写的吗 did Teddy write those notes?
好的 拍"海达·加布勒"舞台剧的时候 Okay, as I said to Paula Abdul
[英格丽·褒曼主演的美国电影]
-我跟宝拉·阿巴杜说过... -噫 during our production of Hedda Gabler... ‐ Oi.
[美国舞蹈编排家]
我们要打破常规 we gotta start thinking outside the box here.
各位 我知道大家都觉得迪马斯嫌疑大 Guys, I know we all like the Dimas stuff,
-但是猫呢 怎么解释 -什么 - but what about the cat? ‐ The who?
我刚才翻了翻你的笔记 Well, I'm just going over your notes here,
为什么我们不多找找有关这个男人的线索呢 and why aren't we looking more at this man,
-霍华德·莫里斯 -好吧... - Howard Morris? ‐ Okay...
等下 你说的可是个新嫌疑人 Wait, you're suggesting an entirely new suspect.
-不按常规 -太不按常规了 ‐ It is outside the box. ‐ A little too outside the box.
我有个想法 要不我们把这些都放回盒子里 Yeah, I have an idea. Why don't we shove it back into the box,
然后送回去 但愿他们不会注意到 and hope they don't notice it when we return it.
也不算疯狂 我们的确怀疑过他 It's not crazy. We did look into him at one point,
而且我还有他的猫的腿 不知道在哪放着了... and I still have his cat's leg somewhere...
我只是说他是你怀疑的第一个人 而且他不是坏人 I'm just saying he's your first suspect, and he's not a bad one.
各位 各位 各位 Everyone, everyone, everyone.
我... 我不想逼大家 You know, I‐I... In no way do I want to appear pushy here,
但是请闭嘴 but please shut up.
我觉得我找到突破点了 I think I've got this.
蒂姆·科诺死的那天晚上 扔在垃圾袋里的字条 The suicide notes that Tim Kono had in the trash bag
那不是在寻求帮助 the night he died. They weren't cries for help.
而是死亡威胁 They were death threats.
-神志不清吧你 -不是 ‐ Mind blown. ‐ No!
迪马斯在威胁他 The Dimases were threatening him,
保证把他的死亡弄成自杀 promising to make his death look like a suicide.
泰迪今天早上也威胁过我们 Teddy threatened us the same way this morning.
-继续说 -我会的 但是首先 ‐ Keep going. ‐ Oh, I will. But first,
我需要形象重现一下 我是个想象家 I have to visualize. I'm a visualizer.
马福 马福 你就当西奥·迪马斯 Marv, Marv, I need you to be Theo Dimas,
-那个耳聋的儿子 -好的 - the deaf son. ‐ O‐okay.
别 别 别捂耳朵了 No, no. Don't, don't ever do that again.
波莱特 你来当门卫 莱斯特 Paulette, you are the doorman, Lester.
-赞 -好 ‐ Psych. ‐ Okay.
你 山姆 你当蒂姆·科诺 And you, Sam, you're Tim Kono.
死了 不过 真的 Dead! But literally.
他死了 He is dead.
那日重现 Flashback!
案发当晚 The day of the murder.
蒂姆·科诺走进阿尔科尼亚公寓 Tim Kono enters the Arconia.
然后... 开始 And... action!
莱斯特 你好 Hello, Lester.
-今天下午可真正常啊 -不 不 指向明确点 - What a normal afternoon. - No, no, pointier.
他有个非常指向明确的快递 对吧 梅布尔 He has a very pointy delivery. Isn't that right, Mabel?
-指向明确 什么意思 -试试吧 ‐ Pointy? ‐ Well just try it.
你好 莱斯特 我是不是刚好有一个 Hello, Lester. Did I happen to receive
装着戒指的快递呢 a package with a ring in it?
没 今天没有 科诺先生 No, not today, Mr. Kono.
接着蒂姆走进自己的房间 Okay, so Tim enters his apartment,
然后火警警报响了 呜 and then fire alarm. Whoop!
呜 呜 Whoop! Whoop!
就在那时 蒂姆·科诺打开房门 So then, he opens his door, and Theo Dimas
西奥·迪马斯却把他推进屋内 pushes his way in.
不不不 太粗鲁了 No, no, no. Too‐too rough.
-太粗鲁了 -但是 我是杀人凶手啊 - Too rough, Marv. ‐ But, I'm a killer.
我们只是在重现 马福 We're just marking, Marv!
咕咕 咕咕 Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
好了 他们开始打架 Okay. They fight.
西奥想保护他的爸爸 Theo wants to protect his dad from Tim exposing
不让蒂姆暴露爸爸犯的罪 他朝着蒂姆的肚子来了一拳 all his father's crimes. He punches him in the stomach.
西奥也是这么朝着我的肚子来了一拳 Same way that, you know, I was punched in the stomach at the dump.
蒂姆喘着粗气 Tim gasps for air.
然后一把枪堵住了他的嘴 And then a pistol goes in his mouth.
这段 我们会再接再厉的 We'll work on that.
最终 And finally,
还记得威廉姆斯警探怎么说指纹的吗 remember what Detective Williams said about the fingerprints?
自杀的信息是西奥打的 Theo types the suicide message.
这就是事情的经过 你们觉得呢 And that's how it all went down. What do you think?
有点奇怪 Kind of a confusing theory.
算了吧 你恋爱昏头了 这个推理逻辑很缜密 Oh please, you're in a love daze. It's air‐tight.
这就是谋杀手段 那我们去把录音设备拿过来吧 And it's the how, so we have to get the recording equipment.
我不知道 各位 你们难道不觉得有点太简单了吗 I don't know, you guys. Don't you think it feels a little too easy?
我是说 我再调查一下霍华德 I mean, I'd take another look at Howard.
蒂姆不会因为一只猫就被杀的 简 Tim did not die because of a cat, Jan.
他是因为珠宝死的 He died because of jewels,
还有个戒指 如果我们要录的话 要么现在录 要么就不录 and a ring, and if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it now or never.
已经早上五点半了 我们都知道录节目之前 It's 5: 30 in the morning, and we all know how you need a few takes
你需要先录几次试试 before you're warmed up.
简 做节目的时候 我们就像是一个团队 Uh, Jan, we kinda worked on this as a team together.
我不在这个团队里 And I'm not on the team.
我倒不会这么说 Well, I wouldn't put it like that.
我会这么说的 因为你加入的话 对我们是毁灭性的打击 Oh, I would because your input is destructive,
而且你的披萨卷很难吃 and your pizza rolls are chewy.
通常情况下 我会原谅几件事中的一件 但不是两件 Now, normally, I could forgive one of those things, but not both.
你吃了六个披萨卷 你看看你的肚子都什么样了 You ate six of those pizza rolls, and they're starting to show.
求你了 请退出吧 I beg of you. Please, exit.
-我会退出的 -不 不 你的想法很棒... ‐ Oh, I'll exit. ‐ No, no, you have great ideas...
查尔斯 让她走吧 我们时间不多了 Charles, let her go. We're on the clock.
吉... 我觉得她生我的气了 Ja... I think she's mad at me.
她绝对生你的气了 Oh, she's definitely mad at you.
好了 我们现在开始录音吧 Okay, we need to start recording this now.
山姆 随时都可以 你可以起来了 Sam, any time, you can get up.
我们确定 确定要这样做吗 Are we sure‐sure about this?
泰迪·迪马斯的赞助费可不少呢 We've taken a lot of money from Teddy Dimas.
我只是确定下我们确定确定这么做 I just wanna be sure‐sure‐sure.
你被盯上了
这就是"大楼里只有谋杀" And that concludes the final episode of
最后一集 Only Murders In The Building.
如果其他邻居被谋杀 虽然可能性很低 我们会继续这个节目 We'll be back in the unlikely event another neighbor is murdered
或者我们会搬到一个更危险的地方 or we move to a more dangerous area.
我是主持人 查尔斯·哈登·萨维奇 I'm your host, Charles‐Haden Savage.
就这样 我们结束了 There it is. We're done.
你们真的喜欢这集吗 Did you really like it!?
我觉得自己刚才看到了普林斯录制"紫雨"的全过程 I feel like I just watched Prince record Purple Rain.
[普林斯·罗杰斯·内尔森 美国已故流行歌手 "紫雨" 曾获奥斯卡歌曲奖和格莱美奖]
-你们真的做到了 -熟食之王要完蛋啦 ‐ You really did it. ‐ Down comes the Deli King.
保证你的朋友都听最后一集了 去散播一下 Make sure your friends listen. Go spread the word.
好 Yes.
找点别的乐趣 And find some other interests.
世界那么多彩多姿 It's a big wide world out there.
-恭喜 我爱你们 -谢谢你们 - Congratulations. We love you guys. - Thank you.
爱你们 爱你们 Oh, love you. Love you.
-很想跟你聊聊自制T恤的事儿 -不了 不了 - Would love to talk merch. - No, no.
我其实有工作的 I actually do have a job.
-我不信 -谢谢你们这群超级粉丝 ‐ I don't believe that. ‐ Thanks for being super fans.
好 最后一集播出之前... Okay, before we send this...
我们得让某个人先过一遍 we need to show somebody a sneak preview.
蒂姆·科诺偶然发现了泰迪·迪马斯 Tim Kono had stumbled upon Teddy Dimas' side business
从死人身上扒珠宝拿去卖的副业 of grave robbing jewels from the dead.
胡扯 No shit.
去他妈的 Goddammit.
大楼里只有谋杀 迪马斯 "蘸"一脚
被杀那天 蒂姆终于找到了证据 And the day Tim was murdered was the day
这些证据足以证明 在他朋友佐伊去世那晚 he finally got the evidence that backed up his story of what he saw
他的所见所闻是真的 the night his friend Zoe died.
蒂姆回到阿尔科尼亚公寓当天 Tim returned to the Arconia that day
在门缝里收到了匿名警告信 to be greeted by an ominous warning waiting under his door.
自杀字条 A suicide note.
所以他把字条扔进垃圾袋 So, he stuffed the note in a trash bag
然后坐电梯去六楼 and took the elevator down to six.
在泰迪家门口 蒂姆拿着垃圾袋 和泰迪对峙 He confronted Teddy with the trash bag at Teddy's doorstep,
然后他亮出了在黑市买的一把枪 then flashed a gun he recently bought on the black market.
那把枪就是后来的凶器 The gun that would become the murder weapon.
泰迪拉响了火警警报 在蒂姆的房间外走来走去 Teddy pulls the fire alarm, lingers outside Tim's apartment.
蒂姆准备下楼的时候 西奥就朝他的肚子来了一拳 When Tim tries to leave, Theo stuns him with a punch to the stomach.
警报声盖住了枪声 The alarm covers the gunshot,
迪马斯爷儿俩混进人群 Dimases make sure to blend in with the residents
在警报声中 和人群一起下了楼 walking downstairs during the fire alarm.
他们十分自信 认为自己与谋杀无关 Confident they had gotten away with murder.
但是我觉得不对劲 Something's bothering me.
迪马斯为什么要赞助一档 Why would the Dimases sponsor a podcast
可能会把他俩暴露的播客节目呢 they knew might out them?
应该是自负吧 Hubris, I guess.
大家都觉得是自负 Everybody always blames hubris.
-你真的信吗 -有时候 真相很怪异 不是吗 - You really buy that? ‐ Sometimes the truth is weird, okay?
谜团会解开 但是真实生活并非如此 Real life doesn't always resolve like mysteries do.
干杯 Cheers!
-多亏上帝保佑 -不 - God bless us. - Oh, no.
我会怀念这个案子的... You know, I'm gonna miss this case a little...
我也是 Me, too.
嘿 你一直没回我 不过... 昨晚的事 我很抱歉 我们办到了 迪马斯进去了 我们庆祝下吧
我知道你怎么看蒂姆 I know how you feel about Tim,
但我找到了这个 你看看 but I did find this.
我没办法让时间倒回 I can't reverse time,
但是我一直在尽力收集这些珠宝和证据 but I've been gathering all the jewels and evidence I can find
想证明泰迪·迪马斯犯下的罪行 to prove the crimes of Teddy Dimas.
我甚至都找到了和那个绿宝石戒指有关的线索 I even have a lead on the emerald ring
那个戒指可以证明 佐伊去世那天 我的所见是真的 that can prove what I saw the night Zoe died.
我能做的只有这些 我想弥补过去 It's all I can do to try to make up for what happened,
弥补奥斯卡·陶瑞斯 and for Oscar Torres,
他就像我的兄弟一样 who was like a brother to me,
我很抱歉 to begin to say I'm sorry.
我没办法原谅自己的沉默 Even though I can't forgive myself for my silence,
他失去了那么多 不公平 and for all he lost so unfairly,
这一切都始于跨年夜 starting on that New Year's Eve.
尽管有些线索很重要 And while some clues are important,
可有些 却不知道会发展到哪里 some lead nowhere.
兄弟 警长一看到社交平台上的"迪马斯干的"热搜 Yeah, man, as soon as the chief saw "Dimases did it" trending,
就通知我去把人抓回来 he told me to pick him up.
你敢信吗 现在的案子都是这么解决的 Can you believe that this is how crimes are solved now?
我知道 是不是太赞了 I know. Isn't it fantastic?
而且我印象真的十分深刻 你们完胜他们 And I'm genuinely impressed. You nailed them.
完全赢过了那爷儿俩 Fully nailed them.
泰迪·迪马斯现在一身麻烦 那个姑娘的死 Teddy Dimas is in a world of trouble for the Cassidy death,
扒死者的珠宝去赚钱 现在又是一桩命案 that grave robbing insanity, and now this?
所以 谜团终于解开了 我们是不是应该心存感激 So we should be thankful that this mystery did have a tidy ending.
就是迪马斯干的 The Dimases did it.
就此结案 Case closed.
哇哇哇 等等 Whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold on.
操 Oh shit.
操 操 兄弟 Fuck. Fuck, man!
"去他的 草草"是不是好点 Is that a good "shit fuck fuck"?
毒性报告出来了 Tox report's back.
最终诊断 I. 急性司可巴比妥中毒(见毒性报告) II. 头部中一枪
死亡原因: 急性司可巴比妥中毒 死亡方式: 谋杀
蒂姆·科诺是被毒死的 Tim Kono was poisoned!
被开枪打死之前 他已经死了 He was already dead when he was shot.
你们公寓二楼有一个住户 And if one of the neighbors on two
装了个Ring摄像头 正好对着院子 has a Ring camera pointed at the courtyard.
兄弟 我现在就在看带着那晚时间戳的照片... Man, I'm sitting here looking at timestamped photos from that night...
照片上是迪马斯那俩人 of the Dimases
他们在警报响起来之前 就已经站在院子里了 outside before the fire alarm even went off!
蒂姆被杀的时候 他俩都不在公寓 They weren't even in the building when Tim was killed!
天啊 Oh god.
操 Fuck!
各位 Guys!
我不想这么说 但是 I hate saying this, but, uh,
公寓里可能还有个凶手 there may still be a murderer in the building.
等下 你说的是什么意思 Wait, what do you mean?
你是说我女朋友是对的吗 You mean my girlfriend was right?
等下 你有女朋友吗 Wait, you've got a girlfriend?
怎么就没人认真听我或者简说话 Nobody ever listens to me or Jan!
简 Jan?
简 我是查尔斯 Jan, it's Charles.
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简 Jan!
简 吉... 救命 Jan! J... Help!
有人没有人 救命啊 Anybody! Help!