(前情提要)
奥利佛帕南 纽约长年来最抢手的单身汉 Oliver Putnam, long considered New York's most un-land-able bachelor,
恋爱了 is in love.
没错 这家伙死会了 老兄 That's right. This merchandise is off the market, bruh.
你又还没约罗芮塔出去 Ah! Loretta. Whom you have yet to ask out.
(罗芮塔)
(晚餐 )
(已送出)
你不该来这里的 You're not supposed to be here.
有人在他的更衣室里 There was someone in his dressing room.
-这是谁的唇膏 -我想它属于我们的凶手 Whose lipstick is this? I would imagine it belongs to our killer.
你找到我的唇膏了 You found my lipstick.
查尔斯海登萨维奇 我很荣幸 Charles-Haden Savage, I'd be honored.
我的回复是好 The answer is yes!
我很乐意嫁给你 I would love to marry you!
这真是有趣的转折 This is a fun twist.
爱情 Ah, love!
你不能不爱它 You gotta love it.
你眼见之处都有爱情 Everywhere you look, there it is.
但在这座不睡觉的城市 But in the city that never sleeps,
你要怎么知道身旁睡着什么样的人 how do you really know who the hell you're sleeping with?
人们可以掩盖非常污秽的秘密 People can conceal some very dirty secrets.
或是见光死的缺陷 Or fatally fatal flaws.
多美丽啊
一切都很好 Everything's fine.
裘伊只是在敲碎海玻璃 好放进水族箱 Joy's just loudly shattering sea glass to put in her aquarium.
当然 Sure, sure.
你问过新未婚妻唇膏的事了吗 Uh, have you asked your new fiancée about the lipstick yet?
她有在班的更衣室镜子上 写「他妈的猪」吗 Did she write "Fucking Pig" on Ben's dressing room mirror?
没有 但我会问的 Oh yeah. No. But, I will.
查尔斯 你两天前就说会问了 Charles, you said you would ask her two days ago.
让我们进去跟她谈 Let us in. We can talk to her.
我在用我自己的速度处理这个情况 I am handling the situation in my own time.
看吧 我就说他不需要帮忙 但我需要 See, I told you he didn't need our help, but I do.
这条围巾有「罗芮塔 我对你一见钟情」的感觉吗 Does this scarf say, "Loretta, I've loved you since the first day I met you?"
我不知道它有什么感觉 但我只看到一个蜡笔盒 I don't know what the scarf is saying, but all I can see is a crayon box.
看吧 所以我们才要带着备品 Ah! Well, see, that's why we always carry a backup.
谢谢你 梅宝 Thank you, Mabel.
查尔斯 我可以冷静地跟裘伊交谈 Charles, I can calmly talk to Joy.
女调查员对女嫌犯 You know, investigator woman to suspect woman.
她不是另一个珍 她有可能是 She is not another Jan. I... think. She could be,
但我必须要能够审问 but it's important for me to be able to interrogate
我凶狠的女友未婚妻 靠 my murderous girlfriend... fiancée... Shit.
那我的发型呢 What about my hair?
像「凯伦」还是「卡莱葛伦」 Is it giving Karen... or Cary Grant?
等一下 梅宝摩拉 你要去约会吗 Hold on. Mabel Mora, are you going out on a date?
-约会 -不是 - Date? - No! I--
不是 托伯特有嫌犯的线索 No. No. Tobert has a suspect he has a lead on.
我要跟他一起跟监 那里有服装要求 I'm meeting him for a stakeout, and the place has a dress code.
就是约会 Uh, well, it's a date.
-对 -是跟监 - Yeah. - It's a stakeout!
两个完全柏拉图式的半职业调查员 When two totally platonic, semi-professional investigators wait together,
一起在不显眼的密闭空间里等待 in an out-of-sight, enclosed space,
期待能看到嫌犯证明自己有罪 and watch while a suspect hopefully incriminates themselves,
我们则憋几小时的尿 吃软掉的玉米棒 while we... hold in our pee for hours and eat stale Cheetos.
穿着晚礼服 In a cocktail dress?
我会把你的讯息解除静音 Look, I'm gonna unmute your texts.
如果发生问题 我随时能来帮忙 I'll be in the wings if anything should go haywire.
我会没事的 I'll be okay.
是啊 Oy.
你身旁有可能睡着一个疯子或骗子吗 Is it possible you're sleeping next to a lunatic, or a liar?
当然有可能 Sure, it is.
但我总是告诉人们 But I always tell people,
「爱到疯掉也胜过没有爱的寂寥」 better to lose your mind lovin' than to live your life loveless.
我已经很久没有跟女人共度春宵了 It's been a while since I dipped my quill in a woman's ink pot.
有我该知道的新招吗 Any new moves I should know about?
拜托你别逼我搭下一班 Please don't make me take the next one.
《破案三人行》
本WEB版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 双语合并
(第三季 第五集) (啊 爱情 )
(他妈的猪)
裘伊 你能来这边吗 Joy, can you come in here, please?
新娘来了 ? Here comes the bride,
身穿白纱 ? all dressed in white ?
她穿着丁字裤 希望那不是个错误 ? She's wearing a thong, we hope that's not wrong ?
我们快来不及 去木兰烘焙坊试吃婚礼蛋糕了 ? We're late to taste Magnolia Bakery wedding cakes ?
-查理 你准备出发了吗 -对 - Charlie, you ready to go? - Yeah!
裘伊 这支艳丽的唇膏 Yeah. Hey, Joy! Hey, this, uh, Ruby Strippers lipstick?
我有说是在后台找到的吗 Did I tell you where we found it? It was backstage.
-好 -对 - Okay... - Yeah.
说得精确点 是班的更衣室里 It was-- in Ben's dressing room to be exact.
你知道它怎么会在那里吗 I mean, any clue how that would've gotten there?
布拉奏斯 先别当侦探 好吗 Hey, Brazzos. Hang up your badge, okay?
我们在休息 记得吗 We're on hiatus. Remember?
对 但为了我的案件档案 它怎么会在那里 Yeah, uh, but just for my case files, how would it have gotten there?
真假 麦金利总统 Seriously, President McKinley?
你这次三振出局了 This is your last strike!
麦金利总统 President McKinley?
我一直很想当总统的朋友 I always wanted to be friends with a president,
但这一只是个混蛋 but this one's an asshole.
别以为我没看到你做的好事 长鳍的恐怖分子 You think I don't see what you're doing, you slimy-finned terrorist?
我绝不容忍恶霸 I do not tolerate bullies.
你要关禁闭了 总统 You're in solitary, POTUS.
裘伊 Joy,
有人用这个在班的镜子上写了恐吓讯息 someone wrote a threatening message on Ben's mirror with this.
你知道这件事吗 Do you know anything about that?
查尔斯海登萨维奇 Charles-Haden Savage.
你真的认为我跟班的死有关系 Do you honestly think I had something to do with Ben's death?
订婚快乐 Happy engagement!
查尔斯 你得去找我的 皮拉提斯老师跟美容师 Charles, you gotta get you to my Pilates guy. And my face guy.
你这里开始像沙皮狗了 You got a little Shar-Pei action going on there.
-多赛多丝 -裘克力 - Sazzmatazz! - Almond Joy!
俗话说 You know, they say
「爱的赠礼能够瓦解任何风雨」 a gift given in love has the power to wipe away any storm brewing.
这是18件的瑞士火锅组 It's an 18-piece fondue set.
-谢谢你 -我们很想你 赛丝马尼亚魔鬼 Oh, thank you. Aw, we've missed ya, Sazzmanian Devil!
这个嘛 裘伊狼 Well, Wile E. Joy-ote,
你的新未婚夫显然没想我到 让我当他的替补演员 apparently not enough for your new fiancé to make me his understudy in the play.
-我... -我释怀了 - Oh, well, I-- - I'm over it.
我下周要去洛杉矶帮巴库拉做特技 I'm doing stunts for Bakula next week in LA.
你背着我跟史考特乱来 Are you cheating on me with Scott?!
代我问候史考特 Do send Scotty my love.
我想念他对我的信心 I miss his faith in me.
他从来不指控我做出令人发指的事 He never accuses me of horrible things.
你知道吗 You know what, Charles?
你信任我的味蕾吧 You trust my palate, right?
我应该能自己试吃那些蛋糕 I think that, uh, I can taste test these cakes on my own.
你留下来陪赛丝 You stay here with Sazz.
也许她想被人审问 Maybe she wants to be interrogated.
好 快跟老娘聊聊 Okay, talk to mama.
奥利佛 你来了 Oliver, you're here.
我果然没听错 I thought I heard someone.
-你真美 -这个嘛 You're a vision. Well...
欢迎来到我住的纽约 Welcome to my slice of New York.
地方很小 但它是... It's itty-bitty, but it's, you know, it's...
艺术 Art!
它是艺术 It's art.
你是谁啊 Who are you?
微波炉故障的女人 I'm a woman with a broken microwave.
所以我不得不临机应变 Which is why I'm forced to improvise with this...
出动这个我从来不用的史前烤箱 prehistoric broiler that I never use!
但你喜欢猪排吧 You do like pork chops though, don't you?
-对 我爱固体食物 -好 Oh, sure. Love solid food. Uh, yeah.
我爱啃肉排 Love... chewing on a chop.
好 Yeah.
我用微波炉做出一块色泽完美的猪排 但它坏了 You know, I zap a perfectly pink one in my microwave. But it's broken.
现在我的时间跟温度都乱掉了 And now my timing, the temperature, all thrown off.
我能帮忙吗 C-Can I assist?
坐吧 帅爸 No, just, uh, pop a squat, kumquat.
真是独一无二 So... unique.
那是什么有趣的玩意 What's this fun thing?
不行 别打开 别开 - Oh no! Don't open that! - Oh! Don't do that!
抱歉 我...我无意表现得这么猴急 S-- I'm sorry. I didn't-- Didn't mean to jump the gun.
我总是说:「晚餐后再上甜点」 Dinner before dessert, I always say.
你来了 There you are.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
你看起来真美 You look fantastic.
谢了 你也... Thanks. You also look, um...
我也会打扮的 Well, you know, I clean up.
我们来这里是因为 你的嫌犯喜欢新潮的钢琴酒吧 So, we're here because your suspect likes swanky piano bars?
我点了开胃菜 我不确定你喝什么 Oh, I already ordered us some, uh, bites. I wasn't sure what your drink was.
各位先生女士 请欢迎强尼杰伊 Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to...
怎么回事 你的线索呢 Wait, what's going on? Wh-Where's your lead?
嘿 型男正妹们 Hey, cool cats.
我是强尼杰伊 今晚的歌手 I'm Johnny Jay, and I'm gonna sing for you tonight.
强纳森 Jonathan?
哈尔德的男朋友就是你的嫌犯 Howard's sweet boyfriend is your guy?
本来是 我认为他是很棒的嫌犯 Well, he was. I thought he was a great suspect.
班的替补演员 Ben's understudy?
还有谁更能因为他的死受益 Who else had more to gain from him dying, you know?
但我跟踪他一阵子了 But, I've been following him around for a while now,
我只发现他在百老汇关怀当志工 and all I could find out was that he volunteers with Broadway Cares
每周还有很棒的音乐剧表演歌单 and has this fantastic weekly cabaret set.
你在开玩笑吧 You've gotta be kidding me.
真的啦 他上周唱了《彩虹之上》 No, seriously. He did, uh, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" last week.
我都哭了 I actually wept.
让我弄清楚 Let me get this straight.
你传讯息来 说你有线索 You texted me saying you have a lead.
我回你:「多说一点」 I text you saying "Tell me more."
你叫我来这找你 我来了 You say "Meet me here," I'm here,
现在你又说你没有线索 and now you're telling me you don't have a lead.
你只是强纳森的音乐剧表演铁粉 You're just Jonathan's biggest cabaret fan.
现在我在跟衣橱里的可爱女孩约会了 And now, I am on a date with that cute girl from the armoire.
对 我耍了点心机 Okay, yes, I got creative.
可以吗 Is that okay?
古典梅兹卡尔酒...就是我爱喝的酒 Mezcal Old-Fashioned. Is my drink.
我现在就需要一杯 That I'm now gonna need.
是 女士 Yes, ma'am.
来聊聊刚才的事吧 Let's unpack what just happened.
安全空间 算是啦 Safe space. Well, safe-ish.
这里是亚柯尼亚大楼 死亡人数异常地多 This is the Arconia. Oh, abnormal amount of death in this place.
对了 我们确定凶手要的是班的命 不是你的吗 By the way, are we sure that the killer was after Ben, and not you, Charles?
什么 What?
我一直有种感觉 Well, I've been getting some vibes.
还有我的业余无线电 I also have my ham radio,
有些人希望死的是你 不是班 and there's chatter of people wishing it was you instead of Ben.
-我 -总之 裘伊怎么了 - Me?! - Anywhos, what's going on with Joy?
你跟治疗师谈过了吗 And have you talked to a therapist about it?
-我没有治疗师 -我知道你没有 - I don't have a therapist. - I know you don't.
但还是值得一问 It was always worth me asking,
因为你那颗大头很需要心理治疗 'cause that big white head of yours? Could use a good shrinking.
我跟珍都觉得很好笑 Ah, Jan and I laugh about that.
-珍 -我应该先警告你的 - Jan? - I should've trigger-warned.
是的 我还在跟珍见面 对 Yes, yes. I have continued to see Jan, yes.
约会吗 她是杀人犯耶 As in dating? She's a murderer.
是啊 Yeah.
大概是我的替身魂吧 You know, I guess it's the, uh, stuntwoman in me.
我对危险情有独钟 I got the hots for danger.
总之 隔着有机玻璃有点难 Anyway, it's a bit hard behind plexiglass.
或珍所谓的「性感玻璃」 Or, as Jan calls it, sexi-glass.
靠挑眉 湿润的嘴唇和一小块胸部 There's only so much you can do with a raised eyebrow,
能做的很有限 a wet lip, and a sliver of tit.
天啊 你真紧绷 老兄 God, you are tense, man.
赛丝 Sazz.
我担心裘伊也是杀人犯 I'm worried that Joy is another killer.
什么 裘伊 What?! Joy?
我们认识她几十年了 We've known her for decades.
不可能的 No, no, no, no, no.
你把案子跟订婚的事混在一起了 You've got the case and the engagement all mushed up.
你得证明裘伊不是杀人犯 You have to prove to yourself Joy's not a murderer,
才能跟她结婚 so you can go ahead with the wedding.
不 我得证明裘伊不是杀人犯 才能跟她分手 No. I have to prove Joy isn't a murderer, so I can break up with her
免得像珍那时一样 提心吊胆 and not be in fear for my life like I was with Jan!
查尔斯 你有「MGDS」的问题 Charles, you are suffering from MGDS:
凶残女友精神错乱综合症 Murderous Girlfriend Derangement Syndrome.
很罕见 是我发明的 It's rare. I invented it.
但这也代表我知道疗法 But it also means I know the treatment.
这简直是鱼缸界的劳斯莱斯 Whoa. You know you got the Rolls Royce of fish tanks here.
我们要玩个游戏 We're gonna play a game.
干杯 Cheers.
幸好我们没去法式餐厅浪费钱 So glad we didn't waste our money going to Le Cirque.
是啊 Yeah.
好固体哦 It's so solid.
-对 -完全成形了 - Yeah. - So fully formed, you know?
-那个烤箱 我只是... -我知道 - Damn broiler. I'm just-- - No, it, it's just--
管他的 我就...看好了 Oh, what the hell, I'm just gonna-- Look at this.
就是这样 That's what I'm gonna...
-哇 -干嘛用切的 - Wow... - Wh-Why cut it?
有何不可 Why not?
真好吃 So good.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
-真抱歉 -那是我的牙齿吗 So sorry! Is that mine?!
不 我好愧疚 让我帮你拿冰块之类的 Oh no, I'm so mortified! Let me get you some ice or something.
不用 我不...其实我没什么感觉 No, no, no, I-I don't-- I-I actually don't feel anything. I...
-你确定 -没感觉 - You sure? - No.
天啊 Oh God.
我好喜欢你那个喷气声 I love that little snort you do.
-真的吗 -对 真的 You do? Yeah, I do.
你就像一只可爱的小猪 You're like an adorable little piglet.
我在游轮上的《夏绿蒂的网》 I played a pig in the cruise ship production
演过一只猪 我30多岁的时候 of Charlotte's Web once, in my 30s,
但我真正掌握喷气声的精髓 but I think I really honed my snort
是我在黑盒子剧场 演《动物农庄》的雪球的时候 when I played Snowball in a black box production of, um, Animal Farm.
你演过几只猪啊 How many pigs have you played?
我不知道 I don't know.
天啊 Oh my...
他妈的猪 他妈的... Fucking pigs. Fucking pi--
你知道谁真的是他妈的猪吗 Hey, you know who was a real fucking pig?
班葛兰罗伊 Ben Glenroy.
我们敬他一杯吧 Let's toast to him.
(他妈的猪)
怎么了 What's the matter?
-没事 -你脸色发白 - N-Nothing. - You just went white.
没什么 我只是...那句话 No, no, no, nothing. I just, um, it's just those words.
你对班说过吗 Did you ever tell Ben that?
他是...你怎么说的 「他妈的猪」 That he was a, how'd you put it, a fucking pig?
现在就别谈班的事了 Let's not talk about Ben now. I mean...
好 不谈了 Yes! No, no, no. No, no, no, n--
不谈班的事了 不谈班了 不谈班 No more Ben talk. No more Ben. No Ben.
我让气氛变怪了吗 Did I just make things weird?
-没有 没有 -有 No! No, no, no. No. Just... Yes.
你真可怜 You poor thing.
你的牙齿 Your tooth.
你相信我吗 Do you trust me?
想离开这里吗 Wanna get outta here?
我知道一个很适合它的地方 I know just the place for this.
好 你喜欢的酒是梅兹卡尔 Okay, so your drink of choice, Mezcal.
喜欢的天气是雨天 Your weather of choice, rain.
一天中最喜欢的时段是晚上 And your favorite time of day, night.
你透露的资讯不多耶 Not exactly a fount of information, are you?
你假借借口把我骗来耶 Hey, you got me here under false pretenses.
我要你伤伤脑筋 I'm making you work for it.
很公平 That's fair.
那奥利佛跟查尔斯是怎么回事 So, um, Oliver and Charles, what is that deal?
他们是你爸 赞助人或辅导对象吗 Are they, like, your dads, your patrons, your volunteer work? What?
不是 他们是我最好的朋友 No! They're... my best buds.
好 很好 Okay. That's rad.
但你们都聊什么 But, like, what do you talk about?
主要是谋杀案 Murder, mostly.
还有怎么连接蓝牙 我们常聊那个 And how to connect to Bluetooth. We talk about that a lot.
那我赢得第二轮酒了吗 So what do you say? Have I earned a second round?
-是 女士 -请再来两杯 Yes, ma'am? - Two more, please.
马上来 Coming right up.
那你都跟谁一起混 Alright, so who's in your crew?
野生动物不算 And wildlife doesn't count.
老实说 经常旅行的人 Honestly, it's really tough to stay in contact
真的很难跟别人保持联络 with anybody when you're constantly traveling.
尤其是没有伴侣让你落地生根的话 Yeah, and if you don't have a partner to ground you, put down roots...
那是你想要的吗 Is that something you want?
我常想这件事 I think about it.
欢迎来到《好爱或障碍》 Welcome to "Commit Or Be Committed!"
今晚的参赛者是我扮演的裘伊佩恩 And tonight's contestants are me, in the role of Joy Payne,
明星的化妆师 makeup artist to the stars.
裘伊的对手则是 饰演布拉奏斯的查尔斯海登萨维奇 And playing opposite Joy, you know him as Brazzos, Charles-Haden Savage!
嘿 Hey.
我们的第一个项目是性关系 Our first category... is sexual relations.
记住 我是裘伊 Now, remember. I'm Joy.
我一天需要上床两次 I need sex twice a day,
周末要三次 three times on weekends!
(障碍)
答错了 Wrong answer!
性欲过人没有什么不对 查尔斯 Nothing wrong with a supercharged sex drive, Charles.
下一个项目是未来 Our next category is the future.
你是我的未来 You are my future.
我永远都不会离开你的 查理 And I'll never, ever leave you, Charlie.
绝对不会 Ever!
绝对不可能会 Never! Never ever!
(好爱)
我们的第一个绿灯 Well! Our first green light.
换你了 进入你的内心深处吧 Alright. You're up. Dig deep.
裘伊这30几年来都在我面前 Joy has been this close to my face for 30-plus years,
看着我每个瑕疵和毛孔 looking at every flaw and pore,
她却还是想扑倒我 通常一天两次 and she still wants to jump my bones, often twice a day.
那种行为不像精神病患者吗 Now, isn't that the behavior of a psychopath?
那听起来像是爱着真正的你的人 Mm, sounds like the behavior of someone who loves you for you.
但我是我耶 But I'm me.
你看看我 Look at me.
这张脸的主人值得拥有裘伊吗 Is this the face of someone who deserves Joy?
叮...叮 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
我们的诊断出炉了 I think we have a diagnosis.
查尔斯海登萨维奇 Charles-Haden Savage,
你害怕的不是裘伊这个人 you're not afraid of uppercase "J" Joy.
你害怕的是她带来的快乐 You're afraid of lowercase "j" joy.
没错 That's it.
那是我的问题 That's my problem.
你现在还认为她能杀人吗 Now do you still think she's capable of murder?
不 我疯了才会那么想 No, I was crazy for thinking that.
你没那么复杂 但你确实得别再怕东怕西了 No, you're not that complex. You do need to stop being a scaredy cat.
哇 Oh, my gosh.
能在世界上最棒的城市 用四块钱租一艘游艇 You know, it is truly amazing that you can charter a yacht
真的很不得了 in the greatest city on Earth for four dollars.
是啊 Yeah.
目的地是热带地区吗 Is there a destination?
到时候就知道了 - The tropics? - You'll see.
选好毒药吧 Pick your poison.
「毒药」 Poison?
或是... Or...
这样才对嘛 Now, we're talking.
那根大麻烟有紫色的卷纸 Look, that joint has purple rolling paper.
-就是说啊 -好时髦的大麻烟 I know. Groovy doobie.
你抽大麻烟吗 宝贝 Do you doobie, baby?
我高三时的室友蓓蓓克劳斯 1978年给我这根烟的 My 12th roommate, Babette Claus, gave me this back in 1978.
-等等 蓓蓓 -对 - Wait, Babette? I-Is-- - Yeah.
在裸泳时被闪电击中的合唱团女孩 Is that the chorus girl that got struck by lightning skinny dipping in-in-- Skinny dipping.
-在中央公园水库 -好 - Central Park-- Oh, my-- - Central Park Reservoir.
-这... -我知道 - Okay, this is-- - I know.
这太扯了 This is insane.
我那年用54俱乐部的紫色纸带 I rolled 10 joints for Babette using a purple streamer
替蓓蓓卷了十根大麻烟 from Studio 54 that year.
-在葛蕾丝琼斯... - 30岁生日派对 - At Grace Jones'-- - Her 30th birthday party!
-对 -我有去那场派对 Yes! I was at that party!
-你才没有 -我有 天啊 - No, you were not. - Yes, I was! Oh, my God!
那是我唯一成功入场的一次 That's the only time I ever got in there.
太荒谬...我真不敢相信 我八成卷了那根烟 This is ridic-- I can't believe this. I think I rolled that joint.
点烟吧 宝贝 Now, spark it, baby!
哇 Wow.
我们长久以来大概都在同样的圈子里 So I guess I've-- I guess we've been running in the same circles for a long time.
可惜我们没打到照面 It's a shame our orbits never crossed, huh?
你可能没注意过我 但我绝对注意过你 Well, I may not have been on your radar, but you were certainly on mine.
我不计一切想参与你的作品 I would've killed to be in one of your productions
但总是会发生事情 害我搞砸 but something always happened to screw it up.
有一次 我正要去 你的《温莎的风流妇人》甄选 Like my ponytail got stuck in the subway doors once
我的马尾偏偏卡在地铁的门上 on the way to audition for your Merry Wives.
还有一次 柏娜黛特彼得丝给我一瓶 Oh, and then there was the time Bernadette Peters
混了二氮平的水 gave me a bottled water that was laced with Valium.
我就在等候室里睡死了 And then I passed out in the waiting room,
没当成你的女神枪手 and I missed the chance to be your Annie Oakley.
你胡说的吧 You made that all up, didn't you?
老天爷 Oh Jesus.
我的天啊 Dear God. Oh my...
真是的 Wow.
哇 Yeah,
不过每次都是一些 but you know, it is always something
平庸到令人生气的事 just infuriatingly, um, banal.
像是口音太真实 或是选角指导不喜欢你 Like, "Your accent is too authentic," or, or, "Casting doesn't like you,"
或是...我不知道 or-- I don't know.
我小时候号称「幸运德金」 You know, when I was a kid, they called me Lucky Durkin,
因为我在学校中过四次奖 because I won the school raffle four times.
但从那时候开始... But, since then...
名不符实的绰号 Some nickname that turned out to be.
也许我被诅咒了 Maybe I'm just cursed.
不然大概...是我活该 Or... it's probably... what I deserve.
拜托 你能做出什么活该被诅咒的事 Oh, come on. What could you have done to deserve being cursed?
张开嘴巴 Open your mouth.
这真是超性感的 That was super sexy.
我疯了吗 Am I crazy?
我觉得那个牙缝好帅气 I thi-- I think the gap is handsome.
可能是放了40年的大麻的作用 Well, that might be the 40-year-old weed taking effect,
是啊 you know?
天啊 你居然以为强纳森是... God, I can't believe you ever thought Jonathan was...
杀人犯 ? A murdering man ?
你又乱唱一通了 不过很可爱 That's still not a song, but cute.
所以你第一次尝试就破了两起谋杀案 So, what? You solved the first two murders just on your first try, I presume?
完全正确 Yeah, totally.
有我 查尔斯和奥利佛 只要一天就搞定 Between me, Charles, and Oliver, it's just, like, a one-day process.
算我好运 这次让你多花了点时间 Well, lucky for me, this one's taking you a little bit longer.
强纳森又来了 Oh, there's Jonathan again.
他在跟谁打招呼 Who's he hugging hello?
你别看 别引起注意 - No! Don't look. - Why? Don't draw attention.
强纳森是在... Could Jonathan be...
不 他不会背叛哈尔德的 No, he wouldn't cheat on Howard.
跟什么人 描述一下 With who? There's somebody? Describe him.
他看起来像是坐礼车的人 Well, he looks like he should be in a limo.
我不确定是乘客或司机 Rider or driver, I can't tell.
这什么描述 That's your description?
他穿红色外套 戴着帽子 He's wearing a red coat and a cap.
强纳森拿了一个信封给他 Oh, now Jonathan's handing him an envelope,
然后那家伙给他一张纸条 and the guy is giving him a slip of paper?
我受不了了 我要过去那边 Okay, this is killing me. I'm just gonna come to that side,
-没有人会看的... -不行 - then we can both be watching. - Well-- No!
抱歉 你还好吗 Sorry! Sorry. You okay?
还好 Yeah, I'm fine.
我们应该在这里躲一下 I think we should stay down here for a second.
对 Yeah.
-我得看一下 -不要 - Okay, I gotta look. - No, no, no, don't.
你看了 他一定会看到你 You look, they'll definitely see you.
除非我们使出特务电影里的 I mean, unless we do the classic move
经典招式 就是目标看过来 from the secret spy movies where the target looks,
只看到两个不起眼的特务在亲热 and just sees two unassuming secret agents making out.
我看没那个必要 Yeah, I don't think that'll be necessary.
-他们没看到我们 -这个嘛... - They didn't see us. - Well...
我们应该接吻的 Ah, we should've done the kissing thing.
搞什么 What the hell?
我们必须查出计程车里的人是谁 We need to figure out who this guy in the cap is.
其实我好像认识那家伙 Actually, I think I do know that guy.
「我们非常疲累 我们非常愉悦 We were very tired. We were very merry.
我们整夜在渡船上来来回回」 We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.
这样真的... This is really...
真的很美好 really nice.
是的 It is.
之前的事很抱歉 I'm sorry about earlier.
在我家 At my place.
我不是故意为了班把气氛搞僵 I didn't mean to get weird about Ben.
我只是对今晚有些想法 I just had an idea about tonight
而谈论死掉的人实在不太符合今晚的气氛 and talking about a dead person just didn't feel like the mood.
这个嘛...我们可以谈论他 Well, it's, it's, it's alright to talk about him.
我是说...我们都经历了一件大事 You know, I mean it-it's quite the thing we all went through.
-是啊 -只是... - Yeah. - It's just...
你用了... that was a very...
非常具体的词汇 ...specific turn of phrase you used.
「他妈的猪」 "Fucking pig."
对 靠 因为我真的那么叫他 Yeah, shit, because I... I did call him that.
我们吵了一架 We had a fight.
对 当晚在他上台前半小时 Yeah. Just half an hour before he went on the stage that night.
他说我对他太痴迷 He said that I was obsessed with him,
说我像虫一样钻进这出戏 and that, uh, I had wormed my way into the show,
还有他不想跟无名小卒分享舞台 and that he didn't really want to share the stage with a no-name.
所以我...对 我抓狂了 So, I-- Yeah, I snapped.
「你他妈的猪」 "You fucking pig."
放开我 你他妈的猪 Let go of me, you fucking pig!
我对他说的最后一句话... The last thing I said to him...
后来他就倒下了 before he collapsed. Ugh.
但我... But I was...
绝对不是剧院里唯一那么看待他的人 far from the only person in that theater who felt that way about him.
他对每个人都很恶劣 He was an asshole to everybody.
连他... Even his ...
好心的哥哥也是 kind-hearted brother.
但我真的很遗憾你的首演夜失利 But I'm really sorry you didn't get your opening night.
我很遗憾他对你那么过分 Well, I'm sorry he was terrible to you.
我很喜欢你 罗芮塔「幸运」德金 I adore you, Loretta Lucky Durkin,
还有关于你的一切 and everything about you.
除了那块猪排 我永远不会原谅你 Apart from that pork chop. I'll never forgive you for that.
好...
我们到了 Here we are.
这就是我带你来搭渡船的原因 This is why I brought you out on the ferry!
什么 What?
我们家的传统 Family tradition.
我小时候 每次掉牙 When I was a girl, whenever I lost a tooth,
我妈就会带我去 my mom would take me out on
密西西比河上搭渡船 the Mississippi River, on the ferry boat.
当我们到一座桥底下 And... when we got underneath a bridge,
就会把牙齿丢进水里 然后许愿 we'd throw the tooth overboard and make a wish.
牙仙子会游泳吗 The Tooth Fairy can swim?
-是... -「牙渡船」 - It's-- - Tooth ferry.
-「牙渡船」 -对 - Tooth ferry! - Yeah.
-好吧 -我知道这很老套 - Okay, okay. - I know, it's really corny.
我...我就喜欢老套 Oh, I-I'm a... big fan of corny.
-你的牙齿在这里 -好吧 - Well, here's your tooth. - Right.
好吧 Alright.
你许了什么愿 What'd you wish for?
-他是谁 -他是... So who was he? That was--
谢谢 他是班的私人医生 Thank you. That was Ben's private doctor.
专门接待名人 需要什么都帮你开处方的那种 One of those, uh, celebrity concierge, anything-you-need prescription-filler types.
其实他今年来看过班几次 He's actually come to see Ben a few times this past year.
-你知道原因吗 -他们没让我进房间 Huh. You know what for? Uh, they never let me in the room.
我只知道他叫C医生 I just know they call him "Dr. C."
太好了 神秘和无法搜寻的完美组合 Great, that's a perfect combination of mysterious and un-googleable.
但他跟强纳森谈了什么 But what was he talking to Jonathan about?
如果强纳森付钱要他办事... And if Jonathan was paying him for something...
你推理的时候真可爱 You are so cute when you theorize.
我们该走了 We should get outta here.
嘿 可惜赛丝已经走了 Hey! I'm sorry you missed Sazz.
她要我俏皮地捶你手臂 She asked me to give you a playful punch on the arm,
但我不想那么做 but I don't wanna do that.
试吃顺利吗 How'd the tasting go?
我带了20份样品回来 I brought back 20 samples,
免得我不小心遗漏特定口味 so I wouldn't accidentally leave a particular flavor behind
让你对我严刑逼问 and have you give me the third degree about it.
说到这个 很抱歉我逼问你唇膏的事 Oh, about that. Uh, I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about the lipstick.
首演夜 我在后台 I was backstage on opening night.
哈尔德慌慌张张叫我回去 Howard summoned me back there in a panic
因为班的妆需要急救 because Ben had a cosmetic emergency.
我不知道 好像有人打了他的脸 留下又大又红的痕迹 I don't know, I guess somebody hit him in the face, and left a big red mark,
-哇 -那需要遮盖 我也遮了 - and it needed covering. - Oh, wow. Which I did.
我的唇膏大概就在那时从化妆包掉出来 I'm guessing that my lipstick fell out of my clutch when I was back there.
但我没在他的镜子上写字 But I didn't write on his mirror,
因为我没有杀掉班 查理 because I didn't kill Ben, Charlie.
我没跟任何人说过这件事 Well, here's one I never told anyone.
我可能... I may, uh... probably,
我应该就是那个打了班的人 have been the person who hit Ben.
放开我 你他妈的猪 Let go of me, you fucking pig!
发生什么事 What the hell's going on?
他攻击我 He attacked me!
我没有 我们在排练 No, I didn't-- We were rehearsing.
别管闲事 混蛋 Stay out of it, fuckbag!
嘿 Hey!
等等 你在班死掉那晚打过他 Wait, you hit Ben? The night he died?
但基于某种原因 你一直认为 And yet, for some reason, you've been thinking
我可能是凶手 that I could be the killer?
多久了 Wh-- For how long?
没有多久 Oh, not long at all.
我一开始心想:「我的裘伊 不可能」 I mean, at first, I was like, "Joy? My Joy? No way!"
但奥利佛和梅宝不太确定 But then, Oliver and Mabel weren't so sure.
你跟每个人谈过这件事 除了我 Wh-- You talked about this with everyone else except me?
你想着这一切 还向我求婚 And you still proposed thinking all this?
这个嘛 说来有趣 Well, you know, funny story.
其实那是意外 That was actually an accident.
意外 Accident?
我是说...不 我... Well...
不 不是...是啦 但是... No. Not a-- I mean, it was, but then--
你没打算向我求婚 You didn't mean to propose to me?
没有 No, I didn't.
什么 What?
哇 好哦 Wow. Okay.
大受打击 Gut punch.
所以... So...
但是... But...
你现在想跟我结婚吗 Do you wanna marry me now?
想 I do!
幸好你让我陪赛丝 And it was great that you left me with Sazz,
因为她用水族箱问我问题 像是「裘伊是花痴吗 」 because she did this thing with the fish tank, and a quiz. And it was like, uh, "Is Joy a nymphomaniac?"
你有听到自己说的话吗 Do you hear yourself right now?
我想到你这些年来坐在我的化妆椅上 I think of all the years of you in my makeup chair, Charlie.
开着玩笑... Joking.
在镜子里眨眨小眼 Little winks in the mirror.
你跳起来准备帅气上戏时坚定的步伐 That kick in your step when you hopped up, looking good to go to the set.
我一直以为我们的感情很特别 I always thought we had something special, Charlie!
所以我忽视那一切 So I looked past all the stuff.
你的自尊心 自我中心 Your ego, your self-absorption,
你有干癣的手肘 your psoriasis elbows.
-你有给我乳霜 -没有用 - You gave me a cream-- - It's not working!
查理 You know, Charlie,
我一直很想开诚布公地谈谈 I've been trying to have an open dialogue
你我对感情的共识 about what we both want.
但我只是在自欺欺人 你根本没准备好 But I'm kidding myself to think you're really ready
要对我这么开放的女人敞开心胸 to open up to a woman as open as I am.
我试着告诉自己 你会改变 I tried telling myself you're gonna change,
但对你来说可能已经太迟了 but I think it might be too late for you.
不会 No.
不会太迟 因为我了解到你是裘伊 It's not too late because I have realized you are Joy...
你让我快乐 and joy.
我可以接纳两者 And I can embrace both of you.
我想这么做 裘伊 And I want to, Joy.
我真的想 I do. I do.
接纳这个吧 Embrace this.
订婚取消了 The engagement's off.
只有另外两个男人看过这个 Only two other men have seen this before.
我对今晚本来很有信心 I was pretty confident going into tonight,
但我没想到会看到凶案关系图 but I did not expect to get all the way to the Murder Board.
(托伯特 迪奇 KT)
-哇 真的吗 -都是为了调查 - Wow, really? - Due diligence.
你真懂得怎么让人感到特别 You really know how to make a guy feel special.
-可以吗 -我不知道 - May I? - Uh, I...
-我担心你的字迹 -那是多余的 don't know. I'm worried about your handwriting. You shouldn't be.
那个... Well...
(C医生)
看看我们 真人版《妙女神探》 Look at us. Real-life Rizzoli & Isles over here.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
跟随线索 Following a lead.
我可能不太会弄晚餐... I may not be good at dinner...
但你的甜点很棒 - But you excel at dessert. - Mm-hmm.
我该去放水洗澡吗 Shall I draw us a bath?
你有浴缸 You have one in here?
这个嘛 它美其名是个桶子 Well, it's... more of a glorified barrel.
听起来很舒适 Sounds cozy-wozy.
我对爱情还有一件事要说 I will say one other thing about love.
有些时候 There are times
你自己的欲望所形成的幻象 when you've been totally blinded
会彻底蒙蔽你的双眼 by the mirage of your own desires.
(葛兰罗伊 将于圣路易高中毕业典礼致辞)
当你真心爱上的那个人 And when the truth of who you gave your heart to,
对方的真面目 of who they really are
突然直视着你的脸... is suddenly staring you right in the face?
(红毯群星)
代表你们可能不是天生一对 It might be a sign that things just aren't meant to be.
或是更糟的事 Or worse.
(他在跟谁约会 )
(葛兰罗伊宣布主演计画)
(葛兰罗伊于格伦代尔)
奥利佛 Oliver?
等你哦 I'm waiting...
字幕翻译:宋梅君